Editing Close Encounters of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Kind

Jump to navigation Jump to search

Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.

The edit can be undone. Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.

Latest revision Your text
Line 1: Line 1:
  +
Hello my friend heres my new gig easy as it looks Ill send u a total of 5350++ backlinks to your website in 2 tiers. This gig its for 1 website and up to 5 keywords. First tier to your main website 350 page rank 1-5 and the the second tier of 5000 profile backlinks pointing to your first tier.Ill send u a report in a txt file in less than 48 hours.Any question just send me a private message
{{bjaodn}}
 
 
The title of this page is a reference to the title of the movie [[wp:Close Encounters of the Third Kind|Close Encounters of the Third Kind]].
 
 
{{AddBJAODN}}
 
 
==Palindrome==
 
''http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikiw/gro.aidepikiw.ne//:ptth'' redirects to [[wp:Palindrome|Palindrome]].''
 
 
==Slappy Dappy Clappers==
 
It's Slappy Dappy Clappers time!
 
 
When life gets you down, clap a dappy slappy clapper!
 
 
Come down the line, can't complain, I'm doing fine, clap a slappy-the dappy- the also and rappy clappers!
 
 
IT'S FOOTBALL TIME!
 
 
Throw the pass, catch the ball, slap a clappy dapper!
 
 
I am so- uh, so very- uh, dub it, break the beat back, clap a slappy dapper.
 
 
All material is copyright 2005 by the Slappy Dappy Clapper. Visit our website. Oh, wait, we don't have one. Bye!
 
 
==Robert Dunne==
 
 
Robert Dunne, basically, is an utter legend.
 
 
==Kyle Hanson==
 
Kyle Hanson is the awesomest, for real. He is 13 years old and still awesome. His middle name is Jake. He says hi. He has made many moving pieces of literature, including:
 
 
Why Wisconsin Owes Me $5,000
 
 
I Really Need A Dollar
 
 
Please Don't Hurt Me
 
 
This Computer Is Frozen And It Will Suck Me Into Cyberspace, Volume 1
 
 
School Sucks
 
 
Your Momma G Dawgs
 
 
Wassup, G Dawgs?
 
 
He has also written a song called "Your Momma Sucks Weed". He says hi again.
 
 
He also owns a racehorse that doesn't race named Alex Is Great, and owns a non-existant football team named the Hansontown Buffalos. His team says hi. His horse says neigh. He just made a movie a minute ago called "Why Kyle Hanson Rocks: From Birth To Stardom". He says hi again.
 
 
He also has a cure for cancer.
 
 
==A Cure for Cancer==
 
Here is the cure for cancer, perpetrated by world renowned scientist Kyle Hanson. The cure entails that you must eat 1 stick of pencil lead twice a day, get the proper amount of exercise, do the best you can, get the job done, eat a tofu neptune crunch, and sing the G-Dawg Hoedown twice a day with a partner.
 
 
== Template:Mentitle ==
 
 
:''The title given to this article is incorrect due to [[wp:xenophobia|mental]] [[wp::meta:How to deal with Poles|limitations]]. The correct title is '''(just Another Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense page)'''.''
 
 
== Inanimate ==
 
 
An '''Inanimate''' [[wp:object|object]] is an object that does not move and has no life. Any such object can be [[wp:personified|personified]] to be made life-like.
 
 
Inanimate Objects:
 
[[wp:Rock (geology)|Rock]]
 
 
[[wp:Table|Table]]
 
 
[[wp:Tree|Tree]]
 
 
[[wp:Sock Puppet|Sock Puppet]]
 
 
[[wp:Russian Hip Hop|Russian Hip Hop]]
 
 
 
== Pedro Astacio ==
 
Pedro Astacio is a starting pitcher for the [[wp:Texas Rangers (baseball)|Texas Rangers]]. He sucks ass.
 
 
== Best vandalism ever ==
 
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Country_Wife&diff=14255139&oldid=14254975
 
 
== [[wp:Goblin metal|Goblin metal]] ==
 
 
'''Goblin metal''' is one of a large number of musical subgenres that people, usually music critics, invent when a band does not rip off another band to the note and think that this somehow constitutes a brand new musical genre. In this case it is applied to any band that does not copy [[wp:Blind Guardian|Blind Guardian]] or [[wp:Isengard|Isengard]] note for note.
 
 
==From [[wp:Ectopia|Ectopia]]==
 
 
'''Ectopia''' is a displacement or malposition of an [[wp:Organ (anatomy)|organ]] of the body. Most ectopia are [[wp:Congenital disorder|congenital]] but some may happen later in life.
 
 
-Types of ectopia-
 
*[[wp:Ectopia lentis|Ectopia lentis]] - displacement of the crystalline lens of the eye
 
*[[wp:Ectopia cordis|Ectopia cordis]] - displacement of the heart outside the body during [[wp:fetus|foetal]] development
 
*[[wp:Crossed renal ectopia|Crossed renal ectopia]] - both kidneys on the same side of the body
 
 
<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="stub"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="background-color: transparent;"><tr><td>[[image:Star_of_life2.png|32px|Star of life]]</td><td>''This [[wp:medicine|medical]] article is a [[wp:Wikipedia:Perfect stub article|stub]]. You can [[wp:Wikipedia:Find or fix a stub|help]] Wikipedia by [{{SERVER}}{{localurl:{{NAMESPACE}}:{{PAGENAME}}|action=edit}} expanding it].''</td></tr></table></div>
 
'''Yo...Vinny is in the house. Good luck finding something helpful about ectopias on wikipedia. there isn't shit.'''
 
 
== From [[wp:Holly Owens|Holly Owens]] ==
 
 
Holly Owens is 16 and a resident of a place that I won’t put on here for security reasons. She has curly brown hair that I once described as the color of dirt but its nicer then dirt it just has lots of different colors in it the same way dirt has lots of colors. She isn’t very tall but that’s ok really tall people are annoying because they can steal your hat and hold it up to high for you to reach. She has “child bearing” hips and she points this out on occasion, and she has an ass that Grace described as protruding. She is considered by me the most beautiful girl I have ever seen mind you I haven’t seen every girl in the world so if you are a beautiful girl reading this I might not have seen you so call me sometime and we could arrange some sort of meeting but until then I hold fast on my opinion that Holly is the most beautiful girl there is.
 
 
I have had a crush on Holly for quite sometime now if you haven’t picked this up because she is one of the nicest people I know (she fixed my finger after it got exploded) and then I was sitting there talking to her and the fact she is so great just hit me like a brick but that’s not important. Holly is in love with C.B.(Cape Breton) and wants to live there and be a nurse some day. Mind you she would be happy with Scotland or Ireland because she thinks there accents are hot. She like the guy in GBS who plays the Bodhran because she thinks he has nice shoulders along with other parts.(minds out of the gutter people) I need to end this here though because Holly wants to read this and it’s getting late
 
 
==Potato summit==
 
See: [[wp:Wikipedia:Close Encounters of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Kind/potato summit|Wikipedia:Close Encounters of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Kind/potato summit]]
 
 
==Lid 13 ==
 
Lid 13 was formed in 1987 in the backroom of a pizzeria by Thor Eric Salo and David Motley. Over the course of their existence they have worked with various collaborators, using both voice and sound, that have all brought their own unique talents to the group. Currently their line up includes Thor Eric Salo providing textural space, beats and other percussive (and concussive) sound, David Motley working turntables, loops and random samples and Marcus Chatman on bass and rhythms.
 
 
 
Lid 13’s improvised and extemporaneous soundscapes and structures are often hypnotic and sometimes disturbing. Collectively, the group has over 200 hours of archived recordings in their library that chronicle their evolution.
 
 
 
Influences include:
 
 
Muzak, Dennis Hopper, Willy Wonka, John Carpenter, George A. Romero, Jack Dangers, Dr. Vladamir Gaverau and the military application of infrasound.
 
 
 
Comments & Criticisms:
 
 
“It sounds like the radio is on the wrong station.” - A guy named Bob
 
 
“That noise is really confusing and it hurt my head.” - Sandy, housewife
 
 
“I don’t understand... this isn’t music at all.” - Yul, janitor
 
 
==deletion of this bjaodn page==
 
NONE OF THE RECENTLY ADDED CRAP IS FUNNY AT ALL. IN THE FUTURE, PLEASE CHOOSE SOMETHING FUNNY TO ADD TO THIS FILE. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOU SIMPLY CAN'T GO WRONG WITH HUMOR DENIGRATING MINORITIES OR HOMOSEXUALS. THANK YOU.
 
 
== From [[wp:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]] ==
 
 
'''THAT BITCH LOVES THE PUDDING'''
 
Cosby was born in [[wp:Philadelphia, Pennsylvania|Philadelphia]] at Northwest Philadelphia's Germantown Hospital at 3:00 A.M. He joined the [[wp:United States Navy|United States Navy]] in tenth grade and completed high school through correspondence courses. Later, he won an athletic scholarship to [[wp:Temple University|Temple University]].
 
 
==From: [[wp:Waiapu River|Waiapu River]]==
 
"Flowing from the [[wp:Ruakumara Range|Ruakumara Range]], it transports vast amounts of sentiment past [[wp:Ruatoria|Ruatoria]]..."
 
 
 
== From: [[wp:Bumblesnap Chess|Bumblesnap Chess]] ==
 
 
Bumblesnap chess is an exciting new set of the rules for the game, "Chess." It is known as Bumblenap chess as it is based on the political situation in [[wp:East Germany|East Germany]] in 1988.
 
 
<h3> Summary of Rules </h3>
 
 
Rules for Chess (Lewis' Bumblesnap Variation (tm))
 
 
1 The board is set up in the usual way, with just one variation: the white and black kings (also known as Bumble Inquisitors of Graham, for obvious reasons), have exchanged places. They have therefore been 'held hostage' by the other side, and the object for both players is to release their own Bumble Inquisitor THROUGH ANY MEANS NECCESARY.
 
 
2 Play begins as normal, except for the first three turns, when the players move SIMULTANEOUSLY. This may cause a sitiuation known as 'Malebolge Inferior', when both players want to move a peice into the same square at the same time. This dispute is settled by MORTAL KOMBAT. The winner claims the disputed square.
 
 
3 All normal chess moves are allowed, except that the kings/Bumble Inquisitors cannot be moved directly. They can only be moved by flicking pawns (pawns are also known as 'Eejits') at them. This is a move known as Jaded Displacement.How Jaded Displacement works:
 
 
a) A player announces he is going to attempt Jaded Displacement by saying 'Good Sir, for a packet of ciggarettes, unavowed, mine leige of the most high Graham may be moved, through Jaded Displacement of 1842 London, and the physical process of Eejits'
 
 
b) He selects an Eejit, (it must be the regulation size of 1/100 cubit). and places it on square A8.
 
 
c/d) The player flicks the Eejit with their right forefinger. If it hits the Bumble Inquisitor, and it moves, then that's just great. If not, the player must show their opponent all their cards.
 
 
e) Then they just roll the dice.
 
 
4 If a bishop (also known as an 'Aeonic Snap Marshall') is captured, it is not removed from play. It joins the Bumble Inquisitor in hostage. To represent the enormous political influence of the Snap Marshalls, whenever a player loses one, he must draw FIVE (4) cards from the Eonic pile.
 
 
5 The game ends when both players agree it has run its course.
 
 
 
<h3> Bumblesnap Chess as an Olympic Sport </h3>
 
 
Bumblesnap chess is becoming very popular worldwide, and there have been talks of introducing it at the [[wp:Olympic Games|Olympic Games]]. To do so, it needs national bodies in at least [[wp:50|50]] countries. As of 9th June 2005, it has organisations in the following countries:
 
 
* Slovakia
 
* Iran
 
* China
 
* North Korea
 
* Syria
 
* Iraq
 
* Cornwall
 
* Libya
 
* Yugoslavia
 
* East Germany
 
* USSR
 
* Zimbabwe
 
* Prussia
 
* Austria-hungary
 
* Holy Roman Empire
 
* Papal City of the Vatican
 
* Mordor
 
* Baron
 
* Mozambique
 
* The Empire
 
* Palestine
 
* Israel
 
* Death Star (The)
 
* Death Star (A)
 
* England
 
* 1985
 
* Independent Republic of Seattle
 
* Crocidilopolis
 
* Byzantine Empire
 
* Visigoths
 
* Ostrogoths
 
* Sweden
 
 
== From [[wp:Computers can work|Computers can work]] (entire article) ==
 
Yes It realy can
 
 
==From [[wp:This article is up for speedy deletion|This article is up for speedy deletion]]==
 
 
<nowiki>{{db|he's right}}</nowiki>
 
read the title dickface
 
 
 
 
hope you choke on a bagel jackass
 
 
 
== [[wp:Manatoo|Manatoo]] ==
 
 
[[image:Manatoosmallpictur.jpg|frame|The North American Manatoo]]
 
The Manatoo, a magical being that is the evolved form of the Manatee is found flying over the sky around most the world.
 
 
The Manatoo eats lettuce and that is about it.
 
 
They are freindly by nature even though they had been hunted to the point of near extinction in the late 1800's.
 
 
Much like the U.f.o. or BigFoot, few people have ever seen one in real life but those who have seen one have been heard to say that their lives are changed forever.
 
 
The Manatoo is full of plasma, which it uses to fly, and float when sleeping.
 
 
The Manatoos can not breed. All breeding is done before the change by water living Manatees.
 
 
The Manatoo is known to live for over 600 years and can even grow a beard.
 
 
== [[wp:Ninja Robot Monkeys|Ninja Robot Monkeys]] ==
 
[[wp:Robot|Robot]]s that have been made to resemble [[wp:monkeys|monkeys]], and subsequently trained in the [[wp:ninja|ninja]] arts.
 
 
==Furniture Vodka==
 
 
Furniture Vodka
 
 
Furniture Vodka is a mixture of Vodka, and, for some reason, furniture. Not many people drink this brand of vodka because of its taste and ingredients. Recipe: Ingredients: Furniture (chairs, couches, pillows, etc.) Vodka (Normal vodka. Not any special brands or flavors) Insructions: 1.Smash, crush or rip furniture into a fine powder. 2.Mix furniture powder with vodka. Furniture vodka originated in Russia.
 
 
* I must say that distilling furniture is a cheaper and more popular option. See ''[[wp:The Twelve Chairs|The Twelve Chairs]]'' (or was it ''[[wp:The Golden Calf|The Golden Calf]]''?)
 
 
==[[wp:Talk:Feces|Talk:Feces]]==
 
''From the discussion at [[wp:Talk:Feces|Talk:Feces]]:''
 
 
Sometimes you have to step back, take a look at yourself, and realize that you are arguing about posting a picture of a turd. Fine, have your turd. I'm off to better-smelling areas of Wikipedia.
 
 
== From [[wp:Doom|Doom]] ==
 
 
''Doom'' prompted fears that the then-emerging [[wp:virtual reality|virtual reality]] technology could be used to simulate extremely realistic killing and in [[wp:1994|1994]] led to the successful banning of video games in the United States by [[wp:Washington|Washington]] [[wp:State Senator|state senator]] [[wp:Phil Talmadge|Phil Talmadge]]. Thousands of people were arrested and executed for possession of video games. The game also caused hundreds of [[wp:school massacre|school shooting]]s in the [[wp:United States|United States]]. Students had used ''Doom'' to practice for the shootings. (see: [[wp:Harris levels|Harris levels]]).
 
 
'''Note that the last sentence is, while an exaggeration, is partially true.''
 
 
==From [[wp:Bay of Pigs Invasion|Bay of Pigs Invasion]]==
 
 
On April 89?, about 1 billion exiles armed with US plastic forks and spoons landed on the southern coast of Cuba at the Bay of Pigs. They hoped to find support from the local population, intending to cross the island to Havana, but it quickly became evident in the first hours of fighting that the exiles were not going to receive such support and were likely to lose. Kennedy decided against giving the faltering invasion U.S. air support (though four U.S. pilots were allegedly killed or captured in Cuba during the invasion) as it was obvious that nothing short of U.S. ground troops would save the operation; he had also wanted the operation to succeed without overt U.S. support. By the time fighting ended on April 19, ninety exiles were dead and the rest were captured and forced to tap dance!!!!!!!
 
 
==From:[[wp:Geography of Los Angeles|Geography of Los Angeles]]==
 
''Perfectly good article, except for the first line, which started:''
 
:"The city of [[wp:Lost Angeles|Lost Angeles]]..."
 
 
==From "Popcorn trick"==
 
The Popcorn trick is an age-old ruse that historically has taken place in movie theaters. A male on a date with a female (although a second male could be substituted for the female), purchases popcorn. As they watch the film, the male stealthily inserts his penis (erect or flaccid) through a hole he has secretly made in the bottom of the tub. Keeping the popcorn in his lap, he offers some to his date. His date unknowingly reaches for popcorn, but grabs a handful of penis. Laughter (and in the ideal situation, manual masturbation) ensues and a good time is had by all.
 
 
Recently, the advent of paper bags in place of tubs for the dispensing of popcorn has made this trick much more easily perpetrated via a small rip in the bag. Additionally, the increasing popularity of microwave popcorn has made the ruse available to even the laziest homebody, although with a somewhat less desirable faux butter content.
 
 
== Wookie Test Format ==
 
 
In the late 1950s a man by the name of Donovan van Wookie revolutionized the test format industry with his famous Wookie Test Format. Tailored after the genius design of Mister Wookie, the Test Format allows for the successful mutation and transflective bi-polar reversal of all formats indigenous to the ancient Omega Mask Genre test format. The Wookie Test Format is in wise use throughout North America and South-East Asia. Many successful scholars praise the uses of the Wookie Test Format.
 
 
The Wookie Test format has changed the lives of many across the globe. If not for the Wookie Test Format, then our world would surely be a different place.
 
 
The Wookie Test Format is currently run by a [[wp:Dr. Terry Smith|Dr. Terry Smith]] of [[wp:Wookie Industries|Wookie Industries]]. It's a known fact that the famous [[wp:Wookiee|Wookiee]] in [[wp:Star Wars|Star Wars]] originated from this Wookie Test Format.
 
 
== From [[wp:Whiggie|Whiggie]] ==
 
 
A slang term meaning "White Guy Groupie", refering to asian women who exclusively date white guys and strongly dislike males of their own race.
 
 
Here is a brief (humorous) profile on the Whiggie, author unknown.
 
 
The WHIGGIE, CRACKER CHASING CHICK, DAIRY QUEEN (White Guy Groupie)
 
 
A brief profile of Asian women afflicted with "white fever"
 
 
ORIGINS: A subset of women of Asian ethnicity, usually found residing in major U.S. cities, although they have been known to appear overseas occasionally. Closely related to their cousins, Yellow Cabs (Japan), Gwei-Po's (Hong Kong), Sarong Party Girls (Singapore), Twinkies and Bananas.
 
 
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: Intelligent, emotionally-secure women who are free of identity problems, self-hate, racial prejudice and chips on their shoulders.
 
 
CHARACTER TRAITS:
 
 
- Denial of all of the following
 
 
- Poorly developed self-identity. Pathetically insecure with themselves and their ethnicity.
 
 
- Resentment of father's traditional, authoritarian upbringing (whether real or perceived).
 
 
- Brainwashed into believing that they, as AF's, are more desirable than other women in an exotic lotus blossum kinda way. Willingness to pander to western media sexual stereotypes of AF's, which they perceive as a marketing advantage.
 
 
- Thoroughly whitewashed. Desperate need to fit into "mainstream" (i.e. white) society and to distance themselves from their Asian heritage. Racial inferiority complex.
 
 
- Feigned air of superiority when dealing with members of own race and any other minority groups. In need of major attitude adjustments.
 
 
- Exaggerated, whiny, Encino-esque valley girl accent.
 
 
- Delusions of grandeur..."I want it all...and that begins with the right (i.e. white) guy...". Asian-American princess complex.
 
 
- Uncanny ability to determine one's nationality, occupation, earnings capacity and make of auto within three minutes of commencing a conversation.
 
 
- Exaggerated perception of white males' value in increasing AF's social status.
 
 
- Ignorant and narrow-minded, eager to adopt and perpetuate fallacious western media stereotypes of Asian men.
 
 
- A compulsion to trash Asians, particularly Asian men, in order to justify their autoracist tendencies, placate their guilt and bolster their self esteem.
 
 
- Extremely shallow, self centered, argumentative and boring
 
 
- Disdains ethnic studies; regards it as a major threat to her carefully constructed, self-deceptive whiggie identity
 
 
- Despises all Asian men, with the occasional exception of their brothers (after all, they share the same genes)
 
 
- Believes that racism does not exist because she, as an AF, has never experienced it first hand, or is too dense to realize it. Besides, those asiaphiles are so nice to her (while plotting to get into her pants)
 
 
- Gets a warm fuzzy feeling when watching The Joy Luck Club, while snuggled up to her geeky asiaphile boyfriend.
 
 
- Believes that the only reason an Asian person would disrespect her is because they are racist
 
 
- Has lost count of how many WM's she's done this month
 
 
- The wet-dream come true for socially-handicapped caucasian nerds who are unable to attract caucasian women
 
 
- Threatened and insecure in the presence of any culturally- perceptive Asian person or any AM not fitting her stereotype of the quiet, marginalized, "model minority" geek
 
 
- Fundamentally insecure, utterly confused, lacking in self-respect - Many aging whiggies, after being used and abandoned by WM's in favor of younger, more nubile whiggies and being rejected by AM's who see through their transparency, develop a bitterness towards all men, period.
 
 
 
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS: a) Look of contempt when eyes meet those of any non- white male, converting to beaming grin upon sighting of WM victim/target; cool.gif terminal pout or c) bimbo-ish expression that defies deep thought.
 
 
 
TYPICAL ATTIRE: Anything trendy, mainstream-looking and seductive (especially if it's black and tight). Big hair (perhaps their most valuable asset) tossed with hand every 15 seconds. Wonderbra. Fanatical whiggies have been known to undergo certain procedures such as eyelid surgery, breast augmentation and vaginal tightening operations in order to increase their marketability to WM's. Blue contact lenses and bleached-blonde hair have even been sported on occasion. Note: attire may vary depending on the specific type of WM being targeted.
 
 
I.Q.: Too low to measure.
 
 
NATURAL HABITAT: Personal ad columns ("exotic, slim, SAF seeks successful, generous SWM"), cheerleading squads, sorority houses (role: token "oriental sisters"), T.V. newsdesks, B-grade Kung-Fu flicks, trendy nightclubs (usually found necking with aging WM's), Chinese restaurants (slumming with the WM and demonstrating that she's "in touch with her heritage"), anywhere else frequented by white males.
 
 
 
TYPICAL WHIGGIE QUIPS:
 
 
age 10: "Mom, why do we have to be (Chinese/Japanese/Korean)? Do you have to dress like that? And what's with dad and his accent?
 
 
age 12: "Mom, I want an eyelid job for Christmas, okay?
 
 
Later on...
 
 
"I've always only dated white guys. I don't know why, I just have."
 
 
"Race doesn't matter. I just happen to like white guys. ItÕs just a preference."
 
 
"We are the world, we are the children...We....."
 
 
"I've gone out with all kinds of guys...Dutch, English, French, German, you name it. Even went out with a Jewish guy once! After all, love is color blind."
 
 
"Eeeew, Jennifer, how could you go out with that (insert minority group here) guy!? Totally gross!
 
 
"Ooh, Roger, you're like, soooo strong and intelligent. Did you say you drive a beemer? Kewl! (giggle)"
 
 
"I want learn English better...you maybe teach, handsome man? Are you U.S. citizen?" (yes FOB's can be whiggies too!)
 
 
"Like why would I want to go out with an Asian guy? They don't own me or anything. Uhh, and besides, they're all male chauvinists..and domineering too...yeah, that's it! Didn't you see The Joy Luck Club?"
 
 
Like, I'm dating *out* of my race, so how can I be racist?!! Duh!!
 
 
CLOSELY RELATED TO: Racists, bigots, wannabes, ho's, chameleons, white supremecists, a fish out of water
 
 
MEDIA REPRESENTATION/ROLE MODELS: Connie Chung, Amy Tan, Lisa Ling, Margaret Cho, Sheryl Wu Dunn, any of The Joy Luck Club protagonists (except the one who married an Asian dude).
 
 
NATURAL COUNTERPARTS: Asiaphiles...who else?
 
 
 
 
 
 
== Grace Thaxton ==
 
 
Grace Thaxton is 113 years old and as of June 14, 2005, the world's youngest witch. In 1902, she was accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake. She survived and for 103 years, lives with 3rd degree burns.
 
 
== From [[wp:Jonathan Somic|Jonathan Somic]] ==
 
 
Born Jonathan Lee Somic, later name changed to Jonathan Lee Patrick Somic following his holy communion during the summer of 1998, JOff as he affectionately became known to others was a man of the people. A man who knew when to laugh and also when foreign policy was high on the agenda when it came to treating his homeland with respect. Joff founded a fledgling rock band in the early 2000's going by the name of Entropy, this band was mildly successful with little to no radio airplay. Joff then formed the uber-successful group The Dukes. THey had hit after hit in countries stretching from East Timor to West Timor. JOff is hailed as a musical genius but allso as a man of great sexual prowess rearing over 50 children from 60 mothers. He is often boosted by Thomas Anthony Bendle who laughs at his jokes and his storys which sometimes are very graphic and sexual in nature.
 
 
Take this one for example.
 
 
JOff was in a room like with this chick and shes like "ohh man i want you in me so bad" and then joffs like "shut up im tryin to watch the tv" and shes like "ohhhhhhhhh im cumming" and joffs like "ohhhhhhhh baby touch me where it feels nice, lick my love pump" and hten shes like "ohhhhhhhh my god you fuck like really really good" and then joffs like shut up im made i pick up chicks.
 
 
that is why we love him
 
 
and then like the next day she is like ohhhhh im pregnant and joff is like so, do i know you, oh my god youre so boring, and then like he kciked her and she went to the moon, yep to the moon and then joff was like oh my god my dick is mad and hten tom was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
 
 
== From [[wp:Seabiscuit (movie)|Seabiscuit]] ==
 
 
A sequel has been announced, ''Seabiscuit 2: Cruise Control.''
 
 
==From [[wp:Mel Gibson|Mel Gibson]]==
 
MEL GIBSON
 
 
Gibson was born in Lower Tamara Beckwith during the harsh weather of 1953. Unknown to most of the population Gibson is actually a bastard, who frequently consummates with shrews and possums. In Variety in 1975 Gibson extended this sexual braggadocio saying "If its got a backbone, I'll do it."
 
In his spare time Gibson mates with homosexuals, burns children and deflowers small apes.
 
Gibson has admitted being a pimp and enjoys getting off with baked goods
 
 
 
==From [[wp:Talk:Jordan Capri|Talk:Jordan Capri]]==
 
 
by my opinion jordan capri is the hottest internet porn star, she is only 18 and really famous. every body is good at some thing and she is good at making men and women smile. i have been looking for her email addres for quite some time now, if you know it pleaze email me at '''(Email address)''' , thx
 
 
==From [[wp:European Union|European Union]]==
 
: ''The entire article was replaced with this line...''
 
 
ohhhhhhhhhh!, you wanted to read, ohhhhhhhhhhh!
 
 
== From WikiClassic ==
 
 
In creating a collaborative, interactive, and exaustive encyclopedia, Wikipedia occasially collects brilliant prose. (Which may or may not fit the editorial guidelines!) A WikiClassic is a simple one or few line quote from the Wikipedia that has garnered aclaim for being funny, insightful, profound, or more likely all of the above.
 
 
The first instance seen is on the [[wp:Punch and Judy|Punch and Judy]] page, with the tagline quote:
 
''Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who commits appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free, it is greatly enjoyed by small children.''
 
 
It was dubed 'WikiClassic™' in the [[wp:Talk:Punch and Judy|Talk:Punch and Judy]] page, starting the term.
 
 
==From [[wp:Job|Job]]==
 
 
Some jobs involve [[wp:banana|banana]]s.
 
 
==From [[wp:Gundam|Gundam]]==
 
===Series based on Gundam models===
 
Although not directly related to Gundam, these series incorporate Gundam models as part of the stories:
 
[[image:Gundam cat.jpg|thumb|right|320px|A '''MG Gundam Mobile Cat Live Model''' released by [[wp:Bandai|Bandai]].]]
 
 
*[http://members.tripod.com/plamo/pm.html Plamo-kyo Shiro]
 
*[http://books.yahoo.co.jp/bin/detail?id=07868496 Plamo-Wars]
 
*[[wp:Sgt. Frog|Sgt. Frog]]
 
 
===Merchandise===
 
[[wp:Bandai|Bandai]], the primary licensee of the Gundam trademark, makes a variety of products for the Gundam fan. Other companies produce unofficial toys, models, t-shirts, etc.
 
 
Categories of products include the '''Mobile Suit In Action''' or [[wp:MSiA|MSiA]] action figures, and [[wp:Gundam Models|Gundam Models]] in several scales and complexity levels. Generally, each series listed above will have its own set of products, although the MSiA and Gundam Models lines, such as [[wp:High Grade Universal Century|High Grade Universal Century]] may extend across series.
 
 
== From [[wp:Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Chewbacca Defense|Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Chewbacca Defense]] ==
 
 
See [[wp:Chewbacca Defense|Chewbacca Defense]] for background.
 
 
[[wp:User:Uncle G|User:Uncle G]] voted:
 
 
*Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed VFD discussion, the nominator would certainly want you to believe that this is a humourous item from a single episode of ''[[wp:South Park|South Park]]'' that has no relevance outside of the television series. And xe makes a good case. Hell, I almost believe it myself!<br>But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed discussion, I have one thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen [[wp::Image:Chewbacca.jpg|this]] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet [[wp:Kashyyyk|Kashyyyk]], but Chewbacca can be found [http://lsolum.typepad.com/copyfutures/2004/10/the_doj_uses_th.html mentioned in discussions about the U.S. Department of Justice], [http://moorewatch.com/index.php/weblog/comments/1357/P50/ about Michael Moore], [http://www.indcjournal.com/archives/000909.php about Dan Rather], [http://triptronix.net/ishbadiddle/archives/2005/06/14/15.00.55/ about Randy "Duke" Cunningham], and [http://wizbangblog.com/archives/003315.php about Michael Moore again]. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee &mdash; an eight foot tall fictional ''[[wp:Star Wars|Star Wars]]'' character &mdash; turn up in commentaries on U.S. politics? That does not make sense!<br>Look at me, I'm a Wikipedia editor discussing the deletion of a Wikipedia article, and I'm talkin' about Michael Moore. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, none of this makes sense!<br>And so you have to remember, when you're trudging through [[wp:WP:VFD/Old|WP:VFD/Old]] supposing and fussing on the closing of the discussion... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed discussion, it does not make sense.<br>If Chewbacca is used as a rhetorical tool in U.S. political commentary, you must '''keep'''! The defense rests.<br>[[wp:User:Uncle G|Uncle G]] 12:46, 2005 Jun 16 (UTC)
 
 
== From an old edit to [[wp:BTO vulnerability|BTO vulnerability]] ==
 
 
A '''BTO vulnerability''' is a flaw in a [[wp:copy prevention|copy prevention]] system that makes a copy of the product where the system has been circumvented '''B'''etter '''T'''han the '''O'''riginal (ie an official copy) in some way - though the name actually comes from Canadian soft-rock band [[wp:Bachman Turner Overdrive|Bachman Turner Overdrive]]. Apparently, the originator of such approaches was the godlike genuis himself, [[wp:Randy Bachman|Randy Bachman]]. Love that man's work. Hell yeah.
 
 
#The user-interactive copy prevention used in software in the early 90s (for example asking a user what a certain word within the manual was, given that only someone with an original copy of the software would have the manual). However, this meant that a copy of such a game which has had the copy prevention removed has three advantages:
 
 
##If the user loses the manual, the game is still playable.
 
##The user does not have to go through the inconvenience of looking up something in the manual every time they want to play the game.
 
##You ain't seen nothin' yet! B-b-b-baby, y-y-you ain't seen nothin' yet!
 
 
== From [[wp:Güven Koç|Güven Koç]] ==
 
 
GÜven Koç was born 1987 in Sivas/Turkey.He lives in Istanbul now.Güven Koç is bigest fan of Nirvana.He saw first time Smells Like Teen Spirit a song of Nirvana and he was frezee like a ice.Because this part was effect to him.Since he listen this part he bigest fan of Nirvana.He knows everything about Nirvana.Nirvana lives in him heart
 
 
== From [[wp:Girl|Girl]] ==
 
 
A girl is a Green thing that lives in lakes. They can sometimes be seen devouring living guts very rudely. They are very carnivorous and throw up constantly. It smells awful! If you ever come in contact with a girl, I suggest running for your live and screaming madly.
 
 
== from Template:B0h ==
 
 
{{Message_box|
 
id =b0h|
 
backgroundcolor =AntiqueWhite|
 
image =Stop_hand.png|
 
heading =This article is about to [[wp:drop|drop]].|
 
message = Make some noise for the [[wp:rewind|rewind]].}}
 
 
== From [[wp:Raiden (Metal Gear)|Raiden]] ==
 
 
'''Gender: ??? (Supposedly Male)'''
 
 
:''Transgendered, maybe?'' [[wp:User:Rickyrab|<nowiki></nowiki>]] &mdash; [[wp:User:Rickyrab|Rickyrab]] | [[wp:User talk:Rickyrab|Talk]] 23:12, 21 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
:: ''Hardly. There's a huge difference between androgyny and transgenderism. :O'' --[[wp:User:Thorns among our leaves|Thorns Among Our Leaves]] 23:58, 17 July 2005 (UTC) (original poster to BJAODN)
 
 
== From [[wp:Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/James Dodd|VfD discussion]] on [[wp:James Dodd|James Dodd]] ==
 
*'''DO NOT Delete'''. I am a huge [[wp:Metallica|Metallica]] fan, and have heard of James Dodd. The importance of the consequences of their chance meeting makes it worthy of inclusion. He was mentioned by Lars in an interview with a drummer magazine, possibily [[wp:Drum!|Drum!]], and was widely circulated in fan forums a couple of years ago. [[wp:User:Jc57|Jc57]] 13:51, 17 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
**This is {{User|Jc57}}'s first edit on Wikipedia. -- [[wp:User:Francs2000|Francs2000]] | [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Francs2000&action=edit&section=new Talk] [[wp:|wp:]] 13:55, 17 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
*Please take note to the following WIkepedia guidelines: '''Please do not bite the newcomers''' Understand that newcomers are both needed by and of value to the community. By empowering newcomers, we improve the diversity of knowledge, opinions and ideals on Wikipedia, enhance its value and preserve its neutrality and integrity as a resource. [[wp:User:Jc57|Jc57]] 14:09, 17 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
**I'm not biting, just pointing out in a forum that gets more than its fair share of sockpuppetry that you have only just signed up for a user-name. -- [[wp:User:Francs2000|Francs2000]] | [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Francs2000&action=edit&section=new Talk] [[wp:|wp:]] 14:10, 17 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
***By slanderously suggesting I am a mere sockpuppet, you are merely trying to detract attention from some of the skeletons in your own Wikepedia closet, such as the utterly inappropriate page on [[wp:Glory hole|Glory hole]], and the completely unsubstantiated one on [[wp:Cassandra Latham|Cassandra Latham]], and thus the intrinsic lack of repsect other Wikepedians must have for you. Furthemore, this is no place for personal comments, if you have any more [[wp:defamatory|defamatory]] remarks about me, please use a private forum. [[wp:User:Jc57|Jc57]] 14:31, 17 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
==From [[wp:Ninja|Ninja]]:==
 
Kawasaki Ninja
 
 
The Kawasaki Ninja has been an icon in the world of sport bikes for as since it's introduction in the 1980's by Masamoto Tazaki. I wish I had enough money to buy a new 2005 ZX-6r, but I don't, so I think I'm just going to get a used Z750s or a new 2005 500r. People who ride Kawasaki Ninja's are notorious for being able to pick up any chick they want and being impossibly cool in all situations. They are gods in American society.
 
 
== From [[wp:Someday We'll Know|Someday We'll Know]] ==
 
 
==="Who holds the stars up in the sky?"===
 
The energy released from the stellar core of a [[wp:star|star]] heats the stellar interior, producing the pressure that holds a star up.
 
==="Why the sky is blue"===
 
:''Main articles: [[wp:Rayleigh scattering|Rayleigh scattering]], [[wp:Diffuse sky radiation|Diffuse sky radiation]]''
 
The sky is blue because [[wp:molecules|molecules]] in the [[wp:Earth's atmosphere|atmosphere]] preferentially [[wp:Scattering|scatter]] blue light.
 
==="Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?"===
 
:''Main article: [[wp:Atlantis|Atlantis]]''
 
There are many [[wp:Atlantis#Location_hypotheses|hypotheses about the location of Atlantis]]. [[wp:Plato|Plato]], who was the first to mention the island, placed it somewhere outside the [[wp:Pillars of Hercules|Pillars of Hercules]] (i.e. the [[wp:Straits of Gibraltar|Straits of Gibraltar]]). Other suggest the [[wp:Mediterranean Sea|Mediterranean Sea]] as a more suitable location.
 
 
== From [[wp:Talk:George W. Bush|Talk:George W. Bush]] ==
 
 
== Vote for Portrait Change ==
 
 
A celebrity's portrait need not always be a solemn one. A photo which caught up the precious moment of a man's true nature might be more worthy or informative than you think. I believe a new bio-photo might be more helpful than the current one in helping those knowledge seekers who come to this page to distinguish the personal characteristic of the featuring topic in the first eye, hence a vote is held, to change the bio-photo from the current one:
 
 
[[image:George_W_Bush.jpg|200px]]
 
 
to the proposed one:
 
 
[[image:George W Bush Speaking.jpg|George W Bush Speaking.jpg]]
 
 
Please cast your vote here so it can be decided if the proposed image is going to be applied. The poll will last a week.
 
 
*'''Yes'''. The proposer. -- [[wp:User:Curimi|Curimi]] 14:48, 18 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
 
What is this patent nonsense? [[wp:User:PPGMD|PPGMD]] 05:30, 18 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
 
Deleted...ongoing pranks constituting vandalism deleted. He was contributing zero to the article...he also archived this discussion page here [[wp:http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:George_W._Bush&oldid=15379370|http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:George_W._Bush&oldid=15379370]], just as we were getting busy on the Rfc...--[[wp:User:MONGO|MONGO]] 06:57, 18 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
 
To the hell where in my proposal did you find any vandalism?
 
#State your reason why you think a change like this comprising a vandalism. Did I make joke of anything in my vote description or did you find it a blasphemy against the featuring topic by changing the picture? I proposed the portrait change because instead of the static, bureaucratic-posed current one, I found the proposed picture has a more dynamic, realistic nature. It addresses the activism and pragmatism personalities of the featuring topic in a vivid fashion. I argue that it can give more information about the distinguishing characteristics of the featuring topic than the trait-less one which now presenting.
 
#Even if you did not look with favor on my proposal, you could not call it a vandalism. You should not call it a vandalism. Did I applied any change on the article yet? No. I came to the talk page seeking a consensus. And now you claimed I have vandalized this sacred discussion place. What? You trying to strip away my freedom of giving out opinions? As long as this discussion page exists even [[wp:George W. Bush|George W. Bush]] is not capable of doing that on me!
 
#Oh yessss, I was contributing zero to the article, which means I am new to this article, so when I came here and found this talk page has more than 100KB I just archived it. My fault. My apology for this. But you just claimed me guilty and sentenced my poll to death before calling me to a hearing. Is this the proper netiquette a Wikipedian should have?
 
#Not to mention by excluding my rights of opining or editing just because I am new to this article you have desecrated the very doctrine of [[wp:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]], the free-content encyclopedia that '''[[wp:Wikipedia:Introduction|anyone can edit]]'''!
 
Hence the poll is revived. If you disagree, express your doubts in a civilized way. -- [[wp:User:Curimi|Curimi]] 14:48, 18 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
== Flamer's bible ==
 
 
Revision 1: Dec. 2, 1987 by Joe Talmadge
 
 
In the time I have been posting to net, I have encountered flame wars of epic proportions (Brahms Gang vs. Tim Maroney), and flame wars of a more modest nature (MIT vs. CIT). Flaming has evolved into a highly-stylized art form, complete with unwritten rules and guidelines.
 
Here, I have attempted to document the Art of Flaming, in such a way as it will be interesting to old hands (flame masters) and novices (virgins) alike. Without a further ado, then, I present:
 
 
The Twelve Commandments of Flaming
 
 
1- Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."
 
 
2- Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of Freud. You took a psychology course in college.Clearly, you're qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case of penis envy."
 
 
3- Cross-post your flames: Everyone on the net is just waiting for the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.
 
 
4- Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead. There's obviously a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by exposing it.
 
 
5- Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the Yin & Yang of flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group, Bertha has libeled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in court, Bertha."
 
 
6- Force them to document their claims: Even if Harry Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Harry's pasta preferences, then Harry's obviously lying.
 
 
7- Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca of flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum," "vini, vidi, vici," and "fettuccini alfredo."
 
 
8- Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America. Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'premeiotic'."
 
 
9- Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a communist, a fascist, or both.
 
 
10- Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent, have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is the beauty of flamers' logic.
 
 
11- Lie, cheat, steal, leave the toilet seat up.
 
 
12- When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a flamer you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange things with vegetables."
 
 
The Golden Rule of Flaming
 
 
My flames will be witty, insulting, interesting, funny, caustic, or sarcastic, but never, ever, will they be boring.
 
Here endeth the scriptures.
 
 
cvgv
 
 
== Football Manager ==
 
 
'''''Football Manager''''' was a classic [[wp:football (soccer)|football]] management simulation first developed by [[wp:Kevin Toms|Kevin Toms]] for 8-bit computers.
 
 
On the 12th February 2004, after splitting from publishers [[wp:Eidos|Eidos]] it was announced that [[wp:Sports Interactive|Sports Interactive]], producers of the [[wp:Championship Manager|Championship Manager]] game, had acquired the brand and would henceforth release their games under the "Football Manager" name, whilst the [[wp:Championship Manager|Championship Manager]] series will go on, but no longer be related to [[wp:Sports Interactive|Sports Interactive]]
 
 
Commonly known as FM 2005, the new game is one of the most hotly anticipated software releases ever, and is expected to compete directly with the first [[wp:Championship Manager|Championship Manager]] game to be developed by the [[wp:Eidos|Eidos]] funded Beautiful Game Studios.
 
 
It includes an updated user interface, a refined game engine, updated database and competition rules, pre- and post-match information, international player news, cup summary news, 2D clips from agents, coach reports on squads, job centre for non-playing positions, mutual contract termination, enhanced player loan options, manager "mind games" and various other features.
 
 
== From [[wp:Procrastination|Procrastination]] ==
 
 
Some people procrastinate by writing/editing articles on wikipedia or even by vandalism of other entries. You might even say I am procrastinating right now. How ironic. Chances are, you are procrastinating by the very fact that you are reading this sentence.
 
 
== From [[wp:Nanny 911|Nanny 911]] ==
 
 
Nanny 911(Game)Is a video game due for release in Summer 2006 for Playstation 2, Xbox, By rumor,Nintendo Gamecube,Playstation 3, Xbox 360, Playstation Portable, Nintendo DS. It will feature voiceovers by the nannies.Electronic Arts will be publishing it
 
 
== From [[wp:Asafa Powell|Asafa Powell]] ==
 
 
He is a big fan of running around a track.
 
 
== Numinoprimatology ==
 
 
Numinoprimatology is the study of the religious beliefs, value systems, and rituals of nonhuman primates, particularly chimpanzees.
 
 
The field was pioneered by Professor Richard Freimatage of Oxdunk University in 1952. In that year, while on an expedition in Indian East Africa, Freimatage came upon a group of male chimpanzees building a shrine to their god of bananas. Meanwhile, females from the same troop were prostrating themselves in front of a set of similar shrines nearby.
 
 
In 1957, Freimatage's student, Irma Foucelle, reported her discovery of two troops of great white apes engaged in an ongoing series of wars, and determined that the wars were being fought over issues of religious doctrine. Unfortunately, she was only partly successful in identifying those issues.
 
 
Today, the field of numinoprimatology has expanded to include hundreds of researchers at prestigious institutions throughout the world.
 
 
== [[wp:Lord Mike Saga|Lord Mike Saga]] ==
 
 
:<small>''you'll probably need to be a [[wp:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]] fan to get all the in-jokes''</small>
 
 
Launched in 1969 as an "innovative, bold and excited new drama on prime time TV" the Lord Mike Saga has now disappeared into obscurity. The Lord Mike Saga ran for several seasons, first on prime time TV, and then as viewing figures dropped, on increasingly obscure time slots such as 3.25AM 1.45PM and, eventually, 6.00AM.
 
 
The Saga featured the adventures of Lord Mike, and a number of his dim witted sidekicks including Steven Ford, Lance Bayliss and Nibbles the Otter. Mills was later joined by the gorgeous Lady Marian who acted as a competent accomplice for his lordship.
 
 
The "team" faced such villains as the Stainless Steel Rat, Stefan Fjord, Lord Ike, and the mysterious Mr Thompson, in increasingly bizarre circumstances. As time went on, the stories became increasingly steeped in their own continuity until, in the final story, a bizarre twisted continuity filled tale, a character who had muttered one line in a story eight years earlier turned out to be an evil clone of Lord Mike's twin brother, who in the future, travelled into the past, to father Lord Mike and himself himself, plotted a plan to take over Wales. At the end of this story all the characters were sucked into their own continuity, never to be seen again, and the series was, thankfully, axed.
 
 
Unfortunately, almost all recordings of the Lord Mike Saga were deleted by the BBC. This deletion wasn't, as was previously though, carried out because the BBC didn't see any economic benefit in keeping the recordings, but because they just didn't like it very much.
 
 
== Gertrude of Holland ==
 
 
Gertrude of Holland was an emancipated garden gnome born in 1723. He live in Florence Italy dfor the first 78 years of his life where he created the world's
 
first museum dedicated entirely to the effort of Sir Gertrude, his only Father. His inspiration was a mule he saw on the back of an action man figurine
 
and got him four pence to every pound of cheese he accepted. He lives a rather depleted live as he was deprived of limbs from birth. He dies in 1649 of
 
a stroke to the head with a cleaver, severing the top half of his head. He was a great man.
 
 
==The bunny cult==
 
 
'''The Bunny Cult''', founded by members of the Long Island gay community in 2004, consists of homosexual men and women from around the globe who enjoy the rather unusual (and in most places, illegal) practice of autoerotic bunny insertion whereby a live rabbit, with the help of a PVC tube, is inserted into the anal cavity to induce orgasm, incidentally suffocating the rabbit.
 
 
==Floobendedockensnigle==
 
 
Floobendedockensnigle is a small plannet just north of the Moon. its inhabitants are a simple people called the Floobendedockensniglians, the language skills of which are so limited that their entire language consists solely of the word "Floobendedockensnigle", only there are 45 million different punctuation marks, telling you where to put the stress, which letters are silent, and which letters are put in that were never found in the original "Floobendedockensnigle", for example the word "Floobendedockensnigle£4*/" is pronounces with the entire of the "Bendedockensnigle" missing pronouncing it more like "floo" and meaning "Get that walrus off my foot", in another example the word "Floobendedockensnigle(+?<" is entirely replaced and ends up sounding more like "Good morning" and simple means "why?". A main problem of this language is that you will never know exactly how to pronounce a word or what it means untill you have seen all of the punctuation marks, this results in small typos causing bizare and unrelated results. In one example, a 73 volume encyclopedia was transformed into an epic novel about spaghetti people due to the last punctuation mark missing. However, despit their language problems, the Floobendedockensniglians have suvived through the generations to become a highly advanced society, inventing a great cloaking sheild to hide their entire plannet from Earth. Unfortunately the plannet, and all its contents, have become invisible from the inside to, thus a commonly heard phrase in Floobendedockensnigle today is "Floobendedockensnigle$=-+" which sounds more like "floobendedee" roughly translated "I'll follow the sound of your voooooiiiice! ouch!".
 
 
==From [[wp:Durian|Durian]] (briefly!)==
 
One should abstain from alcoholic beverages when consuming alcohol. There have been undocumented incidents of death from this.
 
 
== Being Vandalized ==
 
 
<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="beingvandalized" style="background: #cfc; border: 1px solid #aaa; margin: 0 2.5%; padding: 0 10px">
 
'''This article is actively undergoing a [[wp:Wikipedia:Vandalism|major defacing]].'''<br />As a courtesy, please rollback this article when this message is displayed. The person who added this notice will be listed in its [{{SERVER}}{{localurl:{{NAMESPACE}}:{{PAGENAME}}|action=history}} edit history] should you wish to block him or her.
 
</div>
 
 
== Template:Notdeletebecause ==
 
<div name="Undeletion notice" class="boilerplate metadata" id="delete" style="background-color: #fee; margin: 0 2.5%; padding: 0 10px; border: 1px solid #aaa;">'''This page is not a candidate for speedy deletion, because: {{{1}}}'''
 
 
If you disagree with its silly undeletion, please explain why on its schmaltz page or at [[wp:BJAODN|BJAODN]]. If this page obviously does not meet the erotica for speedy depletion, or you intend to fix it, please remove this notice, but do not remove this notice from articles that you have created or desysopped yourself.
 
 
Administrators, remember to check if anything links here and there (such as Amtrak or American Airlines) and the page mystery before having sex or horsing around, or doing some other wild thing.</div>
 
 
== From [[wp:Talk: Arguments against the existence of God|Talk: Arguments against the existence of God]] ==
 
 
[[wp:User:Johnstone|User:Johnstone]] presents this analogy:
 
 
'''''Arguments against the roundness of Earth'''
 
 
Many '''arguments against the roundness of planets''' have been proposed over time, with reference to multiple [[wp:List of planets|planets]] and conceptions of [[wp:Earth|Earth]]. This article lists some of the more common ones.
 
 
Arguments against specific statements of the roundness of planets
 
 
While some [[wp:orbists|orbists]] argue that a planet entirely transcends [[wp:geometry|geometry]] and that logical discourse about it is therefore meaningless, others would disagree with the assertion that a planet has [[wp:ungeometric|ungeometric]] properties. Each of the following arguments aims at proving that some particular conception of the roundness of a planet either is inherently irrational, contradictory, or contradicts known [[wp:science|scientific]] and [[wp:history|historical]] facts, and that therefore a planet thus described cannot be round.
 
 
* The [[wp:argument from inconsistent measurements|argument from inconsistent measurements]] contests the roundness of the Western, scientific planet called Earth as recorded in scientic publications, such as the [[wp:Journal of Geophysics|Journal of Geophysics]], the [[wp:Journal of Orbital Mechanics|Journal of Orbital Mechanics]], or the [[wp:Journal of Geodesy|Journal of Geodesy]], by identifying contradictions between different journals, contradictions within a journal, or contradictions between journals and known facts.
 
 
* The [[wp:problem of heavier-than-air aircraft|problem of heavier-than-air aircraft]] contests the roundness of a planet that is both [[wp:a gravitational body|a gravitational body]] and [[wp:has heavier-than-air aircraft|has heavier-than-air aircraft]] by arguing that such a planet would not permit the existence of [[wp:heavier-than-air aircraft|heavier-than-air aircraft]], which can easily be shown to exist.
 
 
* The [[wp:argument from the Moon|argument from the Moon]] contests the roundness of a [[wp:spinning|spinning]] planet that has [[wp:the Moon|the Moon]] by arguing that the two properties are contradictory.
 
 
Argument justifying anti-roundnessism in general
 
 
While it may be possible to disprove the roundness of some particular Earth, it is in general impossible to prove the nonroundness of all conceivable Earths. Rather than try to do this, most anti-orbists argue that merely pointing out the flaws or lack of soundness in all [[wp:arguments for the roundness of Earth|arguments for the roundness of Earth]] is sufficient to show that Earth's roundness is less probable than its nonroundness; by [[wp:Occam's Razor|Occam's Razor]] (principle of [[wp:parsimony|parsimony]]), the [[wp:burden of proof|burden of proof]] lies on the advocate of that alternative which is less probable. By this reasoning, an antiorbist who is able to refute any argument for the roundness of Earth encountered is justified in taking an [[wp:anti-orbist|anti-orbist]] view; anti-orbism is thus the "default" position, though some argue that it is more proper to consider [[wp:ageosticism|ageosticism]] as the default.''
 
 
 
 
== Costeala ==
 
Costeala is a Romanian tradition that
 
involves violent hitting of
 
the ribs with one's fingers.
 
It is practiced secretly in schools
 
during the hours.
 
It was started by a turkish man who would poke
 
his visitors violently in the ribs.
 
The tradition was passed on to Bogdan Vera
 
and Alex Oasa from Romania, who made it
 
popular. Today, it is practiced everywhere,
 
from schools to offices, and Bogdan and
 
Alex are considered the kings of costeala.
 
 
Costeala can be very painfull, such as
 
the one implied by "Panzariu Adrian", the
 
great romanian fatass.
 
 
From costeala, many other types of horrid pain
 
inducing were derived:
 
 
Cefeala, the violent hitting of the back of the head.
 
Gateala, violent poking of the neck, which unfortunately can lead to death.
 
Suprema, horrible costeala, involving grabbing and
 
shifting of the internal organs.
 
 
In recent years, cosetala has seen increasing development. The growth is considered to be exponential, that is <math>P=P0*a^t</math>
 
 
Prof. Saliah from the ITCHSX has theorized that the growth is actually anti-isoexponential.
 
 
Suprema Dubla, implying two hands at the same time.
 
 
 
Costeala sometimes results in hitting of the fingers.
 
 
== Accidents ==
 
 
Alex Oasa, one of the original founders of the Costeala phenomenon, has been costed to death on 34 Jan 2006. He was returned to life by means of going to medical cabinet.
 
 
 
 
''NOTE: It is believed that Vlad Tepes once used costeala, or at least a type of costeala, since it had not yet been invented.''
 
 
== From Wiktionary, the defn of [[wp:Peking duck|Peking duck]] ==
 
 
=== Translingual ===
 
==== Etymology ====
 
Unknown, possibly derived from a rare variation of ''[[wp:fnord|fnord]]''
 
 
==== Pronunciation ====
 
* AHD|/pī/
 
 
==== Noun ====
 
'''peKing ducK''' (''plural: OMG WtF PEKInGG DUK!!SADIH LOL'')
 
#a [[wp:duck|duck]] that is pecking in China
 
#:''Hey, did you hear the one about the '''Peking duck'''?''
 
#a duck which does not actually exist, and, therefore, does not have an [[wp:echoing|echoing]] quack
 
#:''Sweet Jesus, that's a '''Peking duck'''!''
 
 
==== Transitive verb ====
 
'''to peking duck''', '''-ed''', '''-ing'''
 
#to eat the center part of an injured duck's third [[wp:heart|heart]]
 
#:''I '''peked duck''' last night.''
 
 
==== Translations ====
 
*1337: P3|{1n9 е(|{
 
 
----
 
=== Latin ===
 
==== Adjective ====
 
#[[wp:lucky|lucky]], especially when it involves ducks in some way
 
 
== The Scots Wikipedia ==
 
 
I don't know if anyone else finds this funny, and due respect to minority languages, but try reading the [[wp:Scots language|Scots]] wikipedia at [[wp::sco:Main Page|:sco:Main Page]]; those familiar with English ought to be able to understand it phonetically, but it is weird, especially if you know about Scots words used in English. [[wp:User:Duncharris|Dunc]]|[[wp:User talk:duncharris|&#9786;]] 22:41, 22 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
* Now all you English-speakers know what it's like for Russian-speakers to read the Ukrainian Wikipedia. It has a lot more articles too. [[wp:User:PlatypeanArchcow|platypeanArchcow]] 3 July 2005 15:02 (UTC)
 
 
== Evan Haight-Boyd ==
 
 
Evan Haight-Boyd - Born September 11, 1981, in Los Angeles, California. He recently has taken to adding to the Wikkipedia, and in an attempt to discover some things, has posted his biography.
 
 
:vandalized from 4 mar to 22 jun 2005
 
 
== Wikipedia:Write like this we should ==
 
 
<div align="center" margin:1em class="boilerplate" class="metadata" id="protected" width="85%" align="center" cellspacing="3" style="font-size:95%; border: 1px solid #C0C090; background-color: #F8EABA; margin-bottom: 3px;padding: 5px 10px 5px 10px;" >'''A ''proposed'' Wikipedia [[wp:Wikipedia:Policies and guidelines|policy, guideline, or process]] this page is.''' In development, under [[wp:{{NAMESPACE}} talk:{{PAGENAME}}|discussion]], or in the process of gathering [[wp:Wikipedia:Consensus|consensus]] for adoption, the proposal may still be. Describe it as "policy" references or links to this page should not.</div>
 
 
Currently uses both "Regular Grammar" and "Yoda English" this site does. Added to Wikipedia Style Guide "Yoda English" should be. Imagine Wikipedia, you should; and how kids it are using. How to incorrectly speak, they are learning. Be taken seriously, we want! Standards, we need!
 
 
===Yoda English, using===
 
 
Cultural clashes over grammar, spelling, and capitalisation/capitalization &mdash; common experience on Wikipedia, they are. True Jedi a different form of English to yours have been taught to use. A certain etiquette generally accepted on Wikipedia there is:
 
* A uniform spelling, not a haphazard mix of different spellings, each article should have. For example, ''Ben Kenobi'' in one place and ''Obi-Wan Kenobi'' in another on the same page do not use. Jarring for the reader, it is.
 
* Articles that focus on a topic specific to Star Wars to the rules of Yoda English should generally conform. For example:
 
** article on ''Little actor who thought he was the real [[wp:Jabba the Hutt|Jabba]]'': U.S. usage and spelling
 
** article on ''Yoda's house'': Yoda English usage and spelling
 
* If the spelling appears in an article name, make a [[wp:Wikipedia:Redirect|redirect]] page to accommodate the other variant, you should, as with [[wp:Minor vehicles in Star Wars|Minor vehicles in Star Wars]] and [[wp:Vehicles in Star Wars, minor they are|Vehicles in Star Wars]]
 
* If predominantly written in one type of English an article is, to conform to that type rather than provoking conflict by changing to another you must aim.
 
* Consult Wikipedia articles such as [[wp:Yoda|Yoda]], you should.
 
* If all else fails, consider following the spelling style preferred by the first major contributor (that is, not a stub) to the article you should.
 
 
[[wp:Wikipedia:Manual of Style (spelling)|Wikipedia:Manual of Style]], see also.
 
 
===Arguments for not using Yoda English===
 
If [[wp:British English|British English]] is good enough for [[wp:Alec Guinness|Obi-Wan Kenobi]] and [[wp:Ewan McGregor|Obi-Wan Kenobi]], then it's good enough for Wikipedia, Luke. This is not the English you are looking for.
 
 
 
 
==Everybody hates my articles==
 
 
Why do you all hate everything I write
 
 
:''Because there's no real content, write something useful and well researched.''
 
 
==From [[wp:Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Islamophilia|Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Islamophilia]]==
 
# [[wp:User:jsaid2009|Jsaid2009]] This request for a deletion is based on several logical fallacies. The first is called Argumentum ad Numerum - because more people share the opinion, it somehow must be right. Because Islamophobia garners more google hits than Islamophillia, it must be true. Before Copernicus, the earth was flat because more people believed it. The second argument is equally invalid. I see no Naziphobia or Naziphillia, therefore everyone has no interest in the idealogical system of Nazism? Given that the Nazi party is in power in Austria, this argument holds no water {{unsigned|65.35.195.104|12:45, 18 Jun 2005 (UTC)}}
 
#* The above statement appears to be a [[wp:Chewbacca Defense|Chewbacca Defense]]. &mdash; [[wp:User:Greentryst|Dan Johnson]] <sup>[[wp:User_talk:Greentryst|T]]</sup><sub>[[wp:Special:Contributions/Greentryst|C]]</sub> 14:07, 2005 Jun 18 (UTC)
 
#**I believe that's what's known as ''argumentum ad chewbaccum''. [[wp:User:Silsor|silsor]] 08:24, Jun 20, 2005 (UTC)
 
 
== From [[wp:Sandwich|Sandwich]] ==
 
 
Many sandwich producers are known for their criminal obsession of putting [[wp:condiments|condiments]] and other, less than [[wp:solid|solid]], ingredients in their sandwiches, like [[wp:mayonnaise|mayonnaise]], [[wp:ketchup|ketchup]] or [[wp:mustard|mustard]] . This turns the (usually pleasant) experience of eating a sandwich into a messy [[wp:torture|torture]] that the [[wp:Inquisition|Inquisition]] would be more than proud of. Sliced [[wp:tomato|tomato]] also fits in this category of ingredients that should be prohibited by [[wp:international law|international law]] from inclusion into a sandwich, however some disagree that in this case the offender should be viewed with some sympathy as tomato slices are easily discarded from the sandwich before eating, where condiments and [[wp:sauces|sauces]] are not.
 
 
[[wp:User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] 10:38, 24 Jun 2005 (UTC)
 
 
==From Spark-chamber detector==
 
:''All was going well, up until the final sentence...''
 
A '''spark-chamber detector''' is a [[wp:particle detector|particle detector]], that is, a device used in [[wp:particle physics|particle physics]] for detecting electrically charged particles. It was most widely-used in the [[wp:1970s|1970s]], and has since been superseded by more sophisticated detectors such as [[wp:drift chamber|drift chamber]]s and [[wp:semiconductor detector|silicon detector]]s; however, spark chambers are still of scientific value due to their relative simplicity.
 
 
Spark-chamber detectors consists of metal plates placed in a sealed box filled with gas (for example, helium, neon or a mixture of the two); as a particle travels through the detector, it will [[wp:ion|ion]]ize the gas between the plates, and a trigger system is used to apply high [[wp:voltage|voltage]] to the plates to create an [[wp:electric field|electric field]] immediately after the particle went through the chamber, producing sparks on its exact trajectory.
 
 
Spark-chamber detectors are generally less accurate than [[wp:bubble-chamber detector|bubble-chamber detector]]s; however, they can be made highly selective with the help of auxiliary detectors, thus proving useful in searching for very rare events.
 
 
''This [[wp:sexology|sex-related]] article is a [[wp:Wikipedia:perfect stub article|stub]]. You can help Wikipedia by [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Spark-chamber_detector&action=edit expanding it].''
 
 
== Added to Category: History ==
 
 
History is the study of stuff that, like, happened.
 
 
== From [[wp:Nigel dang|Nigel dang]] ==
 
 
Nigel Dang, the most '''Dang'''erous man alive. He is the notorious "Gangsta" from Cabramatta. He has been known to hit old people and has been linked to several robberies. If you cross his path, run away, because if you even look at him, he will kill you.
 
 
heres a pic of Nigel. Dont look too close or he'll cut you:
 
[http://members.aol.com/actrz2/nigel.jpg]
 
 
== From: [[wp:Alex &#8216;C-Chit-PO&#8217; Chitty]] ==
 
 
Alex ‘C-Chit-PO’ Chitty, born in 1981 to Grant Formaldehyde Petri Douglas Chitty and Mary Magdalene Felony Chitty, wealthy platinum prospectors, made rich in the 1976-80 West Sussex Platinum rush, resided just outside Chichester at his parents 892 acre Fishbourne estate until his 18th year, when his parent’s radical political sensibilities convinced the young man to form the Chitty Coalition. The Chitty Coalition was a military organization with the single goal of toppling the long dominant Merdler Administration, despised by much of the populace for its haphazard ruling of the Sussex Region and its exploitation of children in the endless lemon farms that had developed with the rise of the tequila economy during the 1970s.
 
 
‘Chit-PO’ became known as such in the early months of the Chitty wore due to the platinum suit of armour he commonly war on the battle front (especially during the January 2005 Pool Valley siege) and its resemblance to the famous film android C3PO.
 
 
With his parent’s wealth behind him, and a band of loyal followers (such as 12 Medallion, a long time friend and confidant of the Chitty family, originally employed as their court jester during the early prospecting years) C-Chit PO managed to successfully weaken the Merdler Administration, forcing Lewis ‘D-Tec’ Merdler, leader of the Administration, and Hurry Potter, his ‘right-hand-man’ (the official position of Hurry Potter within the Administration is unclear. It was only ever alluded to, the only written record stating, ‘Mr. Potter provides ‘special personal services’ to The Esteemed Top Head, the Right Honourable Count Master of Sussex, Lewis ‘D-Tec’ Merdler) to sign the Treaty of Functionality in June 2005, granting the people of Pool Valley self-governance.
 
 
== [[wp:Davies' attack|Davies' attack]] ==
 
 
c**p on your hand and tho it at the PC, if falls to the left... wa hey ! you cracked, otherwise.. repeat till it does !
 
 
== FC Ural Ekatrinburg ==
 
 
hello,
 
im sam but my friends call me goke,im from nigeria,im a good footballer in nigeria,i love to play for international clubs,like ur's.my e-mail adderss [email protected]
 
i will make ur clubs one of the best clubs in that zoon.
 
 
== Vivephilia ==
 
 
Vivephilia is the term used to describe a [[wp:paraphilia|paraphilia]] from a dead person towards a living person. It is the opposite of [[wp:necrophilia|necrophilia]], which is when a living person has a [[wp:paraphilia|paraphilia]] for the dead.
 
 
Though there have not yet been any cases settled through the courts on the charge of vivephilia, there have been several literary cases of vivephilia. One of the most well-known of these cases is [[wp:Count Dracula|Count Dracula]]; in fact, [[wp:Bram Stoker|Bram Stoker]]'s novel, ''[[wp:Dracula|Dracula]]'', is full of sexual references between Dracula and living females.
 
 
Another factor of vivephilia is the issue of [[wp:homosexual|homosexual]] and [[wp:pedophilia|pedophilia]]cal [[wp:vivephile|vivephile]]s. I think this should have another label entirely-- "going far, ''far'', '''far''' too far" might be an accurate summary.
 
 
 
[[Oh my God! You Deleted Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense! You bastard!|Previous Page]] - [[The Hitchhiker's Guide to Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense|Next Page]]
 

Please note that all contributions to BJAODN are considered to be released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike (see BJAODN:Copyrights for details). If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then do not submit it here.
You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource. Do not submit copyrighted work without permission!

Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)