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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Reference to Colossal Cave Adventure.

Contents

Anal mysticism[edit]

From Anus:

There are many aspects of the anal cavity that are relatively unknown by most people, of which the subject is reserved mostly for mystics in the Mediteranian regions. They believed that by applying a special elixer that can be obtained only through rigorous rituals and used only by religious leaders, the anus can possess special properties. One of the most prized properties is the ability to efficiently create a digestive system that incorporates all of the properties of the individual organs into one large super organ, known as the God head. In ancient times, the prophet Soctoleses was able to urinate from his anal cavity. He was highly revered as a result for his super anal abilities, and a cast mold of his organs was used to erect a statue that preserved the glory of his anatomy.

From: Wikipedia:Village pump[edit]

GOD OF WAR[edit]

THE GOD OF WAR IS DISALLUSIONED TO SEE YOUR CULUTURE FAIL AND FALTER TO CHOOSE A LANGUAGE - NO MATTER - YE ENIMIES SHALL SOON RIDE FORTH AND CONQUER YOUR PITIABLE LANDS--God_of War 08:10, 27 December 2005 (UTC)

From Wikipedia:Clueless newbies[edit]

Don't know what this doing on there.

I have a complant against user **ADMIN'S NAME DELETED**. He deleted an artical called Portalforums that was a serious artical. We were just going to edit it but he deleted it. I would like him to restore it. I am a member of Pottalforums and It is an insult towards all the members of portalforums that **ADMIN'S NAME DELETED** deleted it. Thank you.

Sounds to me like the ol' "YOU HAVE INSULTED US GREATLY BY SINKING THE RAINBOW WARRIOR!!!!!" chant posted by numerous sock puppets at the France article.

Cord Tangeling Gnomes[edit]

A little known species of gnome called the Cord-Tangeling-Gnomes are said to live separately, but for larger jobs (computer cords) they work in teams. They come by night and tie knots that are usually used to tie large ships to docks with your cables. If several cables run over each other, they tie them together, it doesn't matter, its what they do. Few pictures can even be found of the species because in order to get the job done they punch you in the face while you are sleeping so that you won't wake up. Their fingers are specially designed and elongated for the best tangeling. The origin of this species dates back to the ancient times of civilization in the ropes used for hangings.

New Britney Spears album "Feeling Free"[edit]

Jive is putting together a new 11 track album, composed of old, unreleased songs. Britney would rather not, but Jive figures the fans need something new. They want to put together an "original" cover. One without Britney. Virtually meaning another B: In The Mix. Because Britney's lazy to get off her fat ass and take a picture. The UK version will include a bonus track, recorded around the same time as Someday. One of the new songs is to feature Kayne West. Jive plans to release 2 Music Videos as promotion.

This very same radio station report about "Greatest Hits: My Prerogative" which days later became official news. They've sent Enelyn the image you see above, a bit of a promo poster, a few hours later as proof. People i'm pissed. Um. Discuss.

The official site will have information on this soon. If you haven't figured it out it isn't all that official. But I got you in.

Rear-toading[edit]

Rear-Toading not to be confused with rear-loading, is the insertion of an amphibian into a mans anus during homosexual intercourse.
Certain frogs such as the Pobblebonk (Australia) are said to have other side effects when in contact with a person. They can cause hallucinations, swelling of ankles and tightening of the area in contact.
In 1993, Mick Dandee (Melbourne) died when the Pobblebonk was inserted, and the anus contracted so much that the frog could not be removed. Mick died two weeks later, due to the significant ruptures and chaffing to his rectum.

In South America, around 20 people die each year from the Eastern Banjo Frog. This occurs when the frog lays its toxic eggs inside the anus, causing a severe reaction, with only a 10% survival rate.

See Amphisexuality for other sexual acts relating to amphibians

Engrish from Internet Relay Chat[edit]

For a novice user, mIRC and over large-window clients might seems to be unnecessary large and complex. Little windows, he might get familiar to using some Instant messenger like Miranda IM or Trillian might looks easier and more eye-candy to novices.

Curly hair[edit]

CURLY HAIR Hair, which is not straight, and if left to grow free and unstyled or treated with a product can resemble a brillo pad. Curly hair is generally passed through genes or as a result of a curse.

CURES[edit]

Although there are many methods of straightening the hair using heated appliances, this could be seen as merely prevention. Many curly haired MALES, of which I am one, will testify to two possible measures...

SHAVING THE HEAD[edit]

A grade two or one is essential, any higher grade is pointless and a waste of time as the hairs grows back at terrifying speeds. A qualified barber is the only person who should perform this operation. The hair grows in a mutated fashion, and "do it yourself" haircuts have resulted in "Atlas Head" and paranoia. Regular visits to a barber are required.

GROWNG THE BONCE[edit]

Alternatively many have found contentment in growing the hair with no boundaries or limit in height or width. The "Afro" style has seen highs and lows in popularity and therefore should be approached with caution.

From Foxxagen[edit]

FO2 BABY!!! Its what you breath!! Yeah. Look out though, it could be deadly. It also is known to repair computers really well.

From Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Btrieve[edit]

A Ta bu shi da yu Christmas special :-) As my work uses this in their product (I won't say who they are) I've put together this article on Btrieve. It's fully featured and has undergone peer review. I also asked a few others on IRC to give it the once over and I tried to take their suggestions on board. Any feedback or suggestions on peer review I've tried to resolve or incorporate into the story and I've given it a good copyedit. I've also cut down the size somewhat and had to make a subpage Architecture of Btrieve, so I've used summary form on that section. I'm hoping this is now good enough to be a featured article! However, as always, any further feedback I will attempt to address. - Ta bu shi da yu 12:58, 24 Dec 2004 (UTC)

  • Support. Author helped my Internet terrorist organization.

Englishes War[edit]

"British people spell a lot of words weird and it's hard to read."

Full Bodying[edit]

Definition[edit]

Full Bodying is the slang term for the act of a man inserting his entire body into a woman’s vagina. The medical term for this act is fullbodiusupvaginal-eroticism.

Procedure[edit]

Full bodying is performed as a sequence, generally with the man starting by inserting one or both hands into the vaginal opening and creating enough room to allow his head inside. Once the head is inside the vagina the most difficult part of the procedure, getting the shoulders in, is next. Inserting the shoulders should only be done with a large amount of lubrication and only on women who know it is coming. After the shoulders are in the rest of the body can be inserted easier, although it is often helpful to grab onto a rib to pull up on. Once fully inserted, there will be limited light, so if you plan to leave your feet hanging out and walk around, it is best to pull up far enough to peer out the woman’s mouth for visibility.

Safety[edit]

It is always recommended to use large amounts of lubrication. If there are any open cuts on the mans body, a full body condom should be worn.

From "Light Bulb"[edit]

A common misconception about light bulbs is that they emit light, when, in fact, they absorb darkness. This myth is mostly spread by hardcore Christians, although the Catholic Church, and most Protestant churches have taken no stance on the issue. The Eastern Orthodox Church has sided with the scientists, and its followers tend to support them on the issue. What the supporters of the emission theory use as proof is that light bulbs get hot when they are on. Thomas Edison's associate Charles Dickson explained in an early edition of Popular Mechanics that the heat comes from the friction of the darkness entering the glass. Dickson even referred to an interview with the New York Times where Edison explains the darkness absorption. Unfortunately, the issue with the interview has been lost over time, so there is no proof that Edison approved this theory. However, Scientists almost unanimously agree with the absorption theory, so it is considered scientific fact. This does not make the emission theory wrong, but it falls outside of the realm of science.

Bloody Shot[edit]

Summary[edit]

Theatrical Tagline: “One man. One bullet. One million enemies. Bloody Shot.”


Plot Outline: Detective Jonathan Shot was living the life he’d always dreamt about. Shot had a good job on the force, a big house, a beautiful wife, three heterosexual sons and more. That was, until a cartel of one million crime lords, led by the notorious criminal known only as Smeal, joined forces to take it all away. They burned his house, they killed his wife and kids and worst of all they framed him for all of it. Now he’s no longer Jonathan Shot, he’s Bloody Shot, and he’s out to kill everyone who was in on it, one at a time. Not only does Bloody Shot have to contend with one million people equally intent on killing him as he is them, but he’s also being tracked by his old partner, his heart is being torn by a new love and worst of all, he’s only got one bullet to do it all with. Can Shot kill one million men, clear his name, and rebuild his life, armed with nothing but one bullet and a surgical kit? If anyone can…it’s Bloody Shot.


Cast (First Billed Only):

Bloody Shot (Detective Jonathan Shot) - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Smeal - Steve Buscemi

Detective Jorje Montoban - Willem Dafoe

Anshiqua Charmaine - Queen Latifah

Jennifer Shot - Joan Cusak

Billy Shot - Keannu Reeves

Jimmy Shot - Haley Joel Osment

Timmy Shot - Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Grandpa Shot - Chuck Norris

Chief of Police - Adam Sandler

Notable Facts[edit]

-Originally set for release in May 1999 by Paramount Pictures, the film was dropped just 4 scenes short of completion due to budget shortcomings and dispute with the investors.

-Set in 12 countries across 6 continents, bloody shot was set to be an international blockbuster.

-Shot was written by the writers of hit films Commando and Never Say Never Again.

-Originally set to be directed by Spielberg, other commitments forced him to drop out, leaving Buscemi to both direct and act.

Quotes[edit]

Montoban: I know you’re innocent Shot. You can count on me.

Bloody Shot: No offense Jorje, but my whole life I’ve only ever been able to count on one thing, and I’m about to surgically remove it from that cold dead scum bag.


Smeal: Ready to die Shot?

Bloody Shot: BULLSHIT!


Anshiqua: But Shot, you can’t take on one million men with just one bullet! You’ll never make it and I love you!

Bloody Shot: I may only have one bullet, but I never miss, and this scalpel will make sure I’m never short on ammo.

From Wellington[edit]

You know you're from Wellington when you go to a family reunion to meet girls. Zing!


From Dimple[edit]

List of celebrities with dimples:

From User talk:Everyking[edit]

Endorse my summary, PLEASE![edit]

Wikipedia:Requests for comment/Bishonen

We were unfairly blocked, that is why I have started this RfC. Thanks, EK. Siblings WC 02:28, 3 January 2006 (UTC)

DrippingInk, Hollow Wilerding, Winnermario[edit]

Hello. I have just registered an account on Wikipedia. I was searching for an administrator to help me become familiar with Wikipedia, and stumbled upon Bishonen. In regard to the blocks of DrippingInk, Hollow Wilerding, and Winnermario, I must make it clear that the operators of these accounts was... questionable. You see, I was introduced merely yesterday (January 2, 2006) to Wikipedia. The woman known as Hollow Wilerding presented me with her computer as a late Christmas gift as she is ordering a new computer. It might be in your personal interest to know that these three accounts have not been operated by three separate people; these accounts have been operated by two people. William Wilerding owned the DrippingInk account, while Mariah Wilerding owned the Winnermario account, and the reincarnation of Hollow Wilerding. Blocking these users was certainly the best decision that any administrator could make — they are deceitful people with terrible attitudes. Also, they are very clueless when it comes to English, which is a shame considering Mariah is an English teacher. I, Cruz Nelson, served as an English student of Mariah's from 2004–2005. I must admit that it was like living in hell; I have no idea how she was capable of receiving her graduate diploma. All in all, I have come to announce that she literally gave me her computer in an attempt to return to Wikipedia under a new IP address. Although some of their contributions, namely Cool were generous and positive, overall these two siblings are not going to go far in life. Please understand what I am saying. Thank you. –Cruz AFade (Speak about it | How many?) 17:29, 3 January 2006 (UTC)

From War on Christmas[edit]

The following incidents are examples of secularization of Christmas, reactions to secularization, notable claims of secularization that proved to be false, as well as public and celebrity acknowledgments of the secularization of the holiday.

From Jordan[edit]

From AYPS[edit]

AYPS is an initialism (a type of acronym) often put after a year when designating a date. In this function, it's identical to the labels "BC", "AD", "CE" or "BCE". So one would write, say, that this article was written 11 October 2005 AYPS, or that Rome was sacked in 476 AYPS. AYPS stands for Anno Yersina Pestis Spiritus, which is Latin for something along the lines of "years since the spiritual pestilence". Anyone with even a fleeting awareness of the recorded history of the world will recognize that it labels the existence of Jesus as a spiritual plague, and so reasons for using this label are political - specifically, signifying often militant anti-Judeo-Christian sentiments to high degrees, without the frequent impracticality of creating a new calendar (as some, like the Church of Satan, have done anyway).

Use of AYPS is moderately widespread among communities who wish to express attitudes towards Christianity (and to a less direct extent, Judaism) ranging from not-quite-casual mockery to disgust to violent hatred. There presumably could also exist its counterpart - AAPS (Anno Ante Pestis Spiritus, "years before the spiritual pestilence") - to replace BC/BCE as AYPS replaces AD/CE.

From Light-Silver[edit]

Light-Silver is a color on the color chart. Light-Silver is a lighter version of the darker silver. See also Dark-Silver. Light Silver is a lighter shade of silver.

From Rusty Brown (color)[edit]

Rusty Brown is a rusty versioned color of brown. A somewhat dark brown on the color chart. On the back of cars bummers a rusty brown color forms. There are other shades of brown.

Admin block log[edit]

But this is not a bad joke or deleted nonsense! It's a good joke! :P Titoxd(?!? - help us) 00:37, 5 January 2006 (UTC)
  1. 22:46, January 1, 2006 Titoxd blocked "User:Titoxd" with an expiry time of indefinite (({{impostor}})
  2. 22:47, January 1, 2006 Titoxd unblocked User:Titoxd (hit the impostor next time, not yourself, idiot...)

From Vaginal fungus[edit]

As someone said in the AfD: Delete, c-lingus is never going to be the same again......

vaginal fungus occurs when a lady contracts an allergic reaction to common mushrooms, and then come into contact with their genitals. The rash that appears is very itchy, and can produce tiny growths. Treatment can be obtained by rubbing garlic on the effected area, or smothering the growth with bird droppings, the fresher the better. symptoms usually persist for a maximum of 4 years. Pubic hair will never grow again on the once affected area, and it is possible that a fungal smell may affect the area for years to come.

Wikinaut[edit]

A Wikinaut is a made up term for a person who uses Wikipedia.

So called because as an Astronaut is a voyages into the dangerous environment of space, a Wikinaut travels the virtual realm of Wikipedia, where it is a very simple thing to get distracted by interesting articles and follow curious links. Unwary Wikinauts may often find themselves lost in Wikipedia for hours on end, only resurfacing when needing of food or to use the toilet. The original reason a Wikinaut entered Wikipedia is often forgotten in such adventures, and Wikinauts often resurface on a completely separate topic to the one they started on. One must be particularly weary when using Tabbed browsing as there is a strong temptation to open then view every link on a page, then every link on each of those pages then...

I'll go along with that... There should be some sort of protection against such things ;) 68.39.174.238 17:16, 8 January 2006 (UTC)

Bucket relay[edit]

Bucket relay is a popular sport in northern Ohio, as well as southeastern Wisconsin. In it, teams of four compete to see who can fill a bucket with defecation the most quickly. Each team member stands ten yards apart in a straight line. The team member who picks up the bucket can make the choice of whether to defecate in it himself, or pass it along to his teammates. The well-known expression "passing the bucket because I don't have to shit" is usually attributed to bucket-relay. The sport is expected to have been invented by Jim Ellis.

Welcome to hell[edit]

Hi Devil Master, and a warm welcome to Wikipedia! I hope you have enjoyed editing......

(On a 'newbie' talkpage)

Evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet[edit]

"Evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet (Sorry.)" was a pejorative used to refer to Ontario Liberal Party leader Dalton McGuinty. It first appeared in a press release disseminated by the rival Ontario Progressive Conservative Party on September 12, 2003, during the provincial election campaign in Ontario, Canada.

Evil

Sorry!

Piss cycle[edit]

The piss cycle is a phenomenon occurring in humans imbibing alcohol in social situations. Males tend to experience the phenomenon more than females, who tend to encourage group trips to the toilet, regardless of the urge to urinate, voiding any measurable piss cycle activity.

Alcohol is a known diuretic and thus when consumed it will cause an increase in the frequency of urination. The phrase 'piss cycle' refers to the predictable nature of urination which often occurs while drinking.

Explanation[edit]

A very simple way of describing the term, is as follows. This description is not deemed scientifically accurate, but for the purposes of understanding the principle it works well:

The bladder can only hold one pint. There is also a one pint 'buffer zone' as the alcohol is processed by the relevant internal organs. The piss cycle is as follow:

1. Drink initial pint
2. Process pint and pass into bladder
3. Drink another pint
4. Begin processing pint and attempt to pass to bladder
5. Bladder is full with so go to toilet and empty bladder, allowing next pint to enter bladder
6. Cycle repeats from step 3 until the subject stops drinking, for whatever reason. There may well be some lasting effects from the alcohol in regards to the individuals piss cycle.

(Adapted from a comment at eurogamer)

Breaking the seal[edit]

The first instance of step 5 in the explanation is often referred to as “breaking the seal”. After this first trip to empty the bladder, subsequent trips are more frequent and often lengthy. The breaking of the seal indicates the beginning of the piss cycle. Some people may have trouble distinguishing this from regular trips to the toilet, but after a few nights of drinking in which a piss cycle is induced it will become easy to recognise this phenomenon.

Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

(As described at Urban Dictionary)

Synchronisation[edit]

Piss cycles become most obvious when a drinker finds themselves synchronised with a fellow drinker, quite often a complete stranger. The two unintentionally synchronised individuals will go to the toilets at the same time. If they notice, and feel uncomfortable with this then it can lead to attempted disruptions of the piss cycle. Disruption of the cycle can occur either by attempting to shorten the space between trips to the toilet (urinating before ready), or lengthen it (waiting until bursting point). The later of these piss cycle disruption techniques has potentially disastrous consequences.

The Savage Land[edit]

"The Savage Land was an artificially created tropical forest region nestled amidst a ring of volcanic mountains on the icy continent of Antarctica..."

Copyvio of [1] and various other places.

Kappa 03:39, 8 January 2006 (UTC)

From Talk:Practical joke[edit]

You have new messages.
Well, I fell for it... -SCEhardT 03:25, 6 January 2006 (UTC)

From Project MKULTRA[edit]

The Experiments

Another technique was connecting a barbiturate IV into one arm and an amphetamine IV into the other. [...] This treatment was discarded as it often resulted in the death of the patient from physical side effects of the drug combination, making further interrogation impossible.

So, killing someone makes talking to them impossible. Who'd have thunk it? You learn something new every day!

Template:Baseballbat-stub[edit]

From List of Anime Characters[edit]

Ha ha, the list is dead, doo doo doo,, the list is dead

From Renaissance[edit]

hello


(this was all there was on the page)

from Ava Devine[edit]

then i fucked her good

Viktor Tsoi[edit]

specific russian вlack humour

It is widely rumored that Tsoi's loss of the vehicle's control was caused by choking on a Matzo piece. Tsoi was a respected Matzo connoisseur. [2]

From Nick Zaqwhgwgfd[edit]

Nick Zaqwhgwgfd is an unknown creature from universe Hghfjhfjhfguthyohtguffdhfdfwjhfehfewjefrhjttgrkgtjhyjuujujujujujujujujujujjujujuujujgjgjbgjhbggbkhgjki! He is 13 feet 11 inches. And he weighs about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds. This creature is mean but dont worry because it is stupid and is over 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles away from our universe! It is one entire away and he depends on Zizu and Nick, my friend! He gets annoying! One time me and Nick were sleeping and my cuz robert (and my favorite bro, Jesse) put bolonga all over our faces! Nick is in love w/ Paige! That is why I get mad at him

[edit]

Yes, the title of the article was . The text of the article reads: Congratulations, you have reached the end of all recorded knowledge in the Wikipedia project! I also love the totally deadpan reason User:Kappa gave for its speedy-delete nomination: There is no end to knowlege.

Dutch blindfold[edit]

A Dutch blindfold is a slang name for a practical joke executed by stretching one's flaccid penis across someone else's eyes, creating a similar effect to that of an ordinary blindfold. It may or may not qualify as a sex act, depending on the context.

Added to wp:Laws of cricket#Ways to get out[edit]

  • Law 39A: Uglied Out. A batsman is out if the umpire judges he is too ugly.

From Generation Y[edit]

It is also speculated by some that Generation Z will be the final generation, before a Tribulation or Apocalypse of end of world proportions. The fact that Z is the last letter tends to fit quite in with these speculations.


From a user page[edit]

I've just done a few rewrites of this article and opened the discussion page. Thanks for starting it up, as well as the other articles (I'll have a go at those too). Is this message longer than is preferable?--User:***** 20:23, 16 September 2005 (UTC)

No, don't worry about it. What are you planning for other articles? User:+++++

From Attack of the Killer Carlow Crab[edit]

This "article" is too large here, but it is archived at User:King of Hearts/BJAODN Archive/Attack of the Killer Carlow Crab.


From Hitler talk page[edit]

Keep : I personally hate Hitler more than any other person in history, but I don't think he could have succeeded if he wasn't "charismatic". Blowfish says it's better to say he was a "gifted orator" - this is much more "positive" than "charismatic" - Satan himself was charismatic - one of my heroes, Martin Luther King was charismatic - so this illustrates Boombox's point - "charismatic" is neither positive or negative. And anyway, who says Hitler was a "gifted orator"? Only if you think that mad ranting, lies and slander makes for "gifted" oratory.
As for Andries "several historians and psychologists..." this sounds like weasel words (although you do give refs). The german people didn't need historians or psychologists to tell them that Hitler was "charismatic". If Satan was to arrive tomorrow, you can be sure that many people would be seduced by his charisma - except of course, there's no such thing as Satan...

Flag of Ireland.svgFlag of Scotland.svgtalk|contribs 19:16, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

Incorrect: Satan is already amongst us and makes regular POV reverts.--User: 17:30, 8 December 2005 (UTC)

5:27 pm[edit]

Normally an innocuous time of day, 5:27 p.m. took on new found astronomical significance on January 8, 2006. After months of arduous calculations, a team of Stanford scientists revealed that Hump, the thirteenth sign of the zodiac calendar, will achieve maximum ascension into the twilight sky. The significance of this was not lost on students at Stanford Law School, where Hump has developed a cult following in the previous weeks and months. The Oracle at Registrar has long foretold of this moment. The prophecy of a Bacchanalian-like frenzy rumored to immediately follow the Hump's full descent looms in the hearts of minds of beleaguered law students at the school.

note: this article was posted at 5:27 pm (PST) on January 8, 2006

Canadian breakfast...all I can say is that I'm glad I don't live in Canada...[edit]

This is a drink that was invented on January 3rd 2006, 10:03 am. In the town of Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. It is more often referred to as a gauge of a man's toughness, rather than just a drink, as it involves a complex sequence of events leading up to the consumption of all the alcohol involved. The ingredients: 1 26er of Canadian Club Classic 1 750 ml bottle of Syrup 1 side of bacon 1 box of pancake mix 2 bottles of beer Directions: First, have one of the bigger friends involved chug half of the syrup, or as much as he can, (the more syrup he chugs the drunker you will be, and the tougher he will look). Second, fill up the syrup bottle with as much of the whiskey as you possibly can, (an interesting variation is just to douse your pancakes with whiskey instead, skipping the entire syrup process). Third, Cook the bacon. Fourth, enjoy your pancakes, which should be saturated in hard liquor, making you and your pals quite drunk. Lastly, have the toughest person pull down his pants and underwear, slap a few pieces of bacon in his arse, make sure he flexes (IMPERATIVE THAT THE BACON IS RIGHT OUT OF THE PAN, as this is the major toughness gauging factor), and pour both bottles of beer down his chest, while two other friends make sure they drink the beer off of his genitals.

This is what is known as, 'The Canadian Breakfast', its absurdity was questioned by even the harshest critics, but it was reportedly first invented back in 1959 by a lumberjack who's name cannot be mentioned due to the fact that he died recently.

Edit to Wicca[edit]

A handfasting ceremony at Avebury in England, on Beltane, 2005.

Check out this edit

Some choice excerpts...

  • "Wiccans also experience difficulties in administering and receiving prison ministry as they are unable to bring the daggers necessary for most rituals into Federal buildings."
  • "A witch will steal your testicles or piss in your beer while you're sleeping, whereas Wiccans perform such deeds in a figurative sense through drum circles and interpretive dance."

The First World Wide Web War[edit]

Date: 22:44, 8 January 2006 by: user:Vashslashdash


For a summary of the events leading up to The First World Wide Web War (WWWW1), go to [3]. After the Something Awful DDoS attack, tensions were high between the two sites, but nothing happened to incite the two into a "battle", if you will, again. At least until 1-7-06. eBaumsworld took a YTMND (called "lindsey lohan doesn't change facial expressions") and, as usual, hosted it on their site without the creator or YTMND's consent. YTMND, furious at this, asked eBaumsworld to remove the YTMND. When eBaumsworld refused, YTMND contacted Something Awful (SA) for help. Only too eager too agree, Something Awful joined YTMND in an attack on eBaumsworld.com


from the deletion tag: yet another part of this "war" which really should not be waged on wikipedia. kindly delete this page and tell the trolls to go away


  • to be updated later*

From Roach Motel[edit]

Roach Motel is a term used to describe a roach bait device designed to catch cockroaches. It features a flashing neon sign that draws the roach in. It also claims to have the greatest breakfast buffet out of all of the motels in the world, a tourist trap indeed. Sporting such features as a indoor/outdoor pool, two beds in every room, a complementary health spa, and even a nanny service for the small roaches, it has a high satisfaction rate. By the fabulous pool there is a world class smoothie bar. It has been called the insect Hard Rock Hotel. Roaches check in, and they check out pretty darn happy.

From St. Benildus College[edit]

Benildus College has four Astro Turf Pitches as well as a range of mud flats. They are used, exclusively, by hobos and winos during school hours and are available to the local drug community each evening and at weekends.

From Cheese[edit]

Although cheese is historically associated witht the gods, new evidence suggests that cheese was actually brought to earth by extraterrestrial invaders. The so-called aliens are thought to have been defeated by bird flu in 123 BC, but their taste for cheese lives on. Different varieties of cheese that the invaders left behind include brie, stinky, green, and penis.

California drought in '70s or '80s[edit]

from Wikipedia:Reference desk/Miscellaneous

I heard sometime in the 70's or 80's that there was a drought in Southern California that lasted 5 years. It was said that when it finally rained schools were called off because the young children living in the area had never seen rain fall from the sky. I would like to have this story verified. unregistered user

As far as I know that story is false. It sounds like an urban legend. You might try looking at Snopes.com. WAvegetarian (talk) (email) (contribs) 21:51, 9 January 2006 (UTC)

hmm... I remember reading that alot of rainstorms were happening there around that time, so, a district court judge ordered the rain to stop, and it did for 5 years, after which the judge overturned his decision. it rained the day after. different unregistered user

I grew up in the East Bay in California in the 1980's and I do remember very specifically a drought going on at that time. I remember that it drizzled only during the winter (if at all) and was so hot and dry in the summers. There were a lot of slogans to remind people to save water like "Love (symbol of a heart) to Save Water (symbol of a drop of water)". We had a few 'love to save water' magnets and were encouraged to take short showers, do not water the lawns etc. I do remember this lasted years, however I am not familiar with any of the above "urban legends" -

From Animal shell[edit]

Usually mollusks form shells but every once and a while unicorns form shells, and as they fly over the ocean, star dust is secreted and this results in a molting of the unicorn horn. This process provides a happy and safe environment for our friends known as hermit crabs. Hermit crabs were develpoed on the first day when God said let there be light, and although he wasn't looking to create hermit crabs, they somehow appeared. He then banned the hermit crabs to a limetime of purgatory. There sentence was to be carried out crawling around on the sea floor searching for a friendly little sea shell to live in. Unfortunately they were blind and instead of finding sea shells, they found Jesus.

I Found A Mongoose[edit]

I found a mongoose, It wasn't mine, I chewed upon it, It tasted like old cheese.

Protosnufaluffagus[edit]

The protosnufaluffagus is a carniviorus animal resembling the hairy elephant-like creature from seaseme street. It lives in Burkina Faso and devours the heads of small children.

Suggesting a replacement for the NPOV notice[edit]

Hello alls, I would like to replace this. {npov} with this

 

Thank you for your time, Dabljuh 20:59, 9 January 2006 (UTC)

another admin block log[edit]

21:41, 10 January 2006 Freakofnurture blocked "User:Baby jesus" with an expiry time of indefinite (Impersonator of Jesus)

The disputed creation of Jesus[edit]

I found this on a website I visit. Fairly amusing I thought!

The Disputed Creation of Jesus Christ

It is now widely thought that the creature known as 'Jesus Christ was not born, per se, but rather, was the result of some extremely strange genetic accident.

Following a post mortem by a group of Jewish Aborigines, carried out in a warehouse near Norwich, it was discovered that Jesus was the result of the amalgamation of some fungus in the hay, found in the stable, and one of the nipples from Mary & Joseph's Donkey, which suffered from a serious skin disease, thus causing the nipple to drop off.

This could be the first known case of biological engineering anywhere.

The resultant lifeform, known colloquially as the Big JC, was remarked upon to have special powers. This could be because, being a new lifeform, no one had ever encountered it before, so nobody knew initially what it was capable of.

Several books have been written about this life form, most notably the Bible, which has been translated into many languages and is popular among Christians everywhere.

It is believed that this discovery was made long ago, but was covered up by the staff of Area 51, Roswell, as being a possible first contact with alien species...

Enjoy! Thor Malmjursson 05:01, 11 January 2006 (UTC) Talk to me

From Jiegel[edit]

Jiegel is a term used to describe a specific type of person who is similar in character to a mythical creature known as The Jiegel. The Jiegel often disguised itself as a young human man, it almost always had light brownish hair, and a scruffy beard. It's only real talent was spinning objects on its fingers, and was also known for having stubs for a couple fingers on its right hand. It wasn't known as a dangerous creature, but it was considered relatively annoying. It often times just hung around humans trying its best to suck all attention into itself. Humans were almost never fooled by its disguise and often times just laughed at its attempt when the Jiegel finally left.

From Kitty-rancher[edit]

A Kitty-Rancher is any person who exclusively breeds, raises, takes care of, trains, and sells cats, or "kitties," for a living.

Kitty-Ranching in the US began shortly after the start of prohibition in the 1920's, as a means of taking people's minds off of alcohol. Sadly enough, it didn't work, and although cat popularity was significantly increased as a result of Kitty-Ranching, that didn't help the alcohol situation. Some speculate that it even made it worse, being that famous gangsters like Al Capone were known to throw in a cat or two with a large order of any alcoholic beverage.

With it's new-found association with the criminal underworld came a price. Kitty-Ranchers everywhere began raising cats specifically for underground cat fighting tournaments, many of which were to the death. To quote the then-chief of the Chicago Police Department: "Yeah, there've been a lot of cat-fights recently. Usually by the time we get to the scene of the crime, everybody's gone and there's a good twenty or some such dead cats lyin' around. God, it's a Hell of a mess."

Kitty-Ranching died down a bit in popularity after the end of prohibition, but picked up again when the time came for America's involvement in World War 2, with FDR's "Cats for the Troops" program, as well as what became known as "Kitty-Wednesdays," during which time Kitty-Ranchers were expected to send a few kittens out for the troops every Wednesday.

Throughout the 1960's and 70's, Kitty-Ranching became associated with hippy-ism, since no hippies were opposed to raising and selling cats for a living. Cat-Nip growth skyrocketed to an all time high, with at least 62% more Cat-Nip being used per day than at any other time in history.

The 1980's saw Kitty-Ranching as a possible weapon, and Reagan instituted the program known as "Kitty-Wars," through which cats were to be trained to intercept and disarm Russian missiles. Many speculate that the thousands of government trained cats from the time are still roaming about in the Pentagon somewhere, but details on this are sparse. The Pentagon denies ever having allowed cats to stay in the building, but will not comment further.

List of words that rhyme with Oompa Loompa[edit]

These words rhyme with Oompa Loompa.

  • Boompa Foompa
  • Loompa Soompa
  • Goonka Foonka

From the Did We Really Need To Know That? Department[edit]

From Flatulence

I LOVE TO FART!!! IT IS THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!! :)

Pierre Philippeaux[edit]

Pierre Philippeaux had something to do with the French Revolution. Somewhat related to Georges Danton and Camille Desmoulins.

Gangs muscle in on Wikipedia[edit]

From Crips talkpage (wha a fucking shame) - "Corections about Insane, 21st and rolling 20's being the same gang. I want to make this clear- Insane and Rolling 20's are different gangs and hate each other. We have been killing each other for years and it's never going to change. Its been like that for 35-40 years now. 21st is only a street that the majority of our OG's grew up around and snoop made it famous. Both insane and 20's hung out on this street and that's how we became enemies."

C+- Programming Language[edit]

The C+- Programming Language (pronounced C More or Less) is a subject-oriented language (SOL). Each C+- class instance, known as a subject, holds hidden members, known as prejudices, agendas or undeclared preferences, which are impervious to outside messages; as well as public members, known as boasts or claims. The following C operators are overridden as shown:

>    better than
<    worse than
>>   way better than
<<   forget it
!    not on your life
==   comparable, other things being equal
!==  get a life, guy!

C+- is strongly typed, based on stereotyping and self-righteous logic. The Boolean variables TRUE and FALSE (known as constants in other, less realistic languages) are supplemented with CREDIBLE and DUBIOUS, which are fuzzier than Zadeh's traditional fuzzy categories. All booleans can be declared with the modifiers strong and weak. Weak implication is said to "preserve deniability" and was added at the request of the DoD to ensure compatibility with future versions of Ada. Well-formed falsehoods (WFFs) are assignment-compatible with all Booleans. What-if and why-not interactions are aided by the special conditional EVENIFNOT X THEN Y.

C+- supports information hiding and, among friend classes only, rumor sharing. Borrowing from the Eiffel lexicon, non-friend classes can be killed by arranging contracts. Note that friendships are intransitive, volatile and non-Abelian.

Single and multiple inheritance mechanisms are implemented with random mutations. Disinheritance rules are covered by a complex probate protocol. In addition to base, derrived, virtual, and abstract classes, C+- supports gut classes. In certian locales, polygamous derivations and bastard classes are permitted. Elsewhere, loose coupling between classes is illegal, so the marriage and divorce operators may be needed:

   marriage (MParent1, FParent1);
     // child classes can now be derrived
   sclass MySclass: public MParent1, FParent1
     // define MySclass
   sclass YourSclass: public MParent1, FParent2
     // illegitimate
   divorce (MParent1, FParent1);
   marriage (MParent1, FParent2);
   sclass YourSclass: public MParent1, FParent2
     // OK now

Operator precedence rules can be suspended with the directive #pragma dwim, known as the "Do what I mean" pragma.

ANSIfication will be firmly resisted. C+-'s slogan is "Be your Own Standard."


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