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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

The title is a reference to the phrase "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by."

From Pedophilia[edit]

JASON [name deleted] IS A PEDAFILE!!! BEWARE!!!



At least he spelled my name right the second time =\ - Ken Xiraka 13:12, 3 May 2007 (UTC)


The dahu is an imaginary creature well known in France and Switzerland, Template:Fact also known as a Haggis in Northern England and Scotland. Template:Fact

The dahu is a very important aspect of [Switzerland's] culture. I believe that it is important to keep the knowledge of the dahu alive to prevent it from becoming extinct, as it is our world's most endangered species.

~Cedric Ebiner, on the opening of the Dahu National Preservation Park in the Swiss Alps

The Dahu is Switzerland's national animal. There are four sub-species of Dahu: Clockwise, Counter-clockwise, Ascendit, and Descendit. The two most common types, Clockwise and Counter-clockwise, can only be seen traveling right or left around the sides of the alps. The Counter-clockwise Dahu has shorter front and back left legs, and only harnesses the ability to walk, as the name implies, counter-clockwise around the slope. The Clockwise, with shorter front and back right legs, can only walk clockwise around the mountain. The Ascendit Dahu, equipped with short front legs and long back legs, giving it the ability to travel up the mountain. The Descendit Dahu, with short back legs and long front legs, can only run down the cliff.

Problems with Direction[edit]

Although quite interesting creatures, the Dahu have very short life expectancies. The Clockwise and Counter-clockwise Dahu, because of their one-direction abilities, cannot turn around. If a "round-about," as it is commonly called, is attempted, they are subject to losing balance and falling to their death at the bottom of the hill. The Dahu can also reach their demise when a Clockwise and a Counter-clockwise meet at a point upon the cliff. Because of their inability to roundabout, the two creatures are locked in a staring contest until one keels over and dies. Usually, both Dahu die before either one is able to pass. When the Ascendit and Descendit meet, they merely run into each other and tumble back to the bottom. The Ascendit Dahu is subject to a cruel and painful death when it reaches the top of the slope it climbs. When this happens, the Ascendit is unable to descend the mountain, thus falls over the other side and onto the road or raging waters below. The Descendit, however, is usually killed when it reaches the bottom of of the cliff and drowns in a river or is hit by an oncoming vehicle.

The Legend Lives On[edit]

Cedric Ebiner is the only person known thus far to own a Dahu. Mr. Ebiner is a retired Swiss Army Bicycle-Grenadier and a current High School Latin Teacher/Swiss-watch repairman. He is also credited with inventing the languages of French, Latin, and certain parts of Spanish. His dahu resides in the backyard of his residence in Raging Waters, California. Cedric has installed a small mountain in the backyard for his Clockwise Dahu to roam around. Although proud of his pet, he has recently complained to local officials about the rising amount of American, Swiss, and Japanese tourists coming to his residence to see the Dahu. Reports are yet to confirm whether the tourists have come seeking the Dahu or simply some quality Swiss-watch repair. When asked about his ownership of the dahu, Cedric says he has "no comment" on the situation, but he doesn't deny the tourists' attraction. It is said that he has heated debates with his pupils that the Dahu does exist and it is a truly a marvelous creature who has adapted to its incredible surroundings.

The Dahu and the Mariachi Sniper[edit]

The dahu is also credited with helping Cedric escape the notorious Mariachi Sniper, who was the number 11259 criminal on the America's Most Wanted list a few years ago. The dahu and Cedric went to the apartment complex the Mariachi Sniper was living in to make the sniper turn down his loud mariachi music. The sniper pulled out a gun and came down to meet Cedric and his pet in the street. The dahu (walking with his shorter legs on the curb of the sidewalk) was startled by the sniper, so it quickly spun around, causing it to fall onto its side. The sniper saw Cedric and started to chase him. He did not see the dahu lying on the street and tripped over it while chasing Cedric. As he was falling, the sniper shot Cedric in the lower back, but Cedric recovered fully. The Mariachi Sniper was apprehended minutes later, and the dahu was unharmed and is still living with Mr. Ebiner to this day.

The Dahu and Hollywood[edit]

The dahu has also been featured in many American motion pictures. Its screen credits include The Terminator, the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, to name a few. The dahu has won multiple Academy Awards as a group for its screen roles, including the coveted Best Supporting Animal award for The Wizard of Oz. The dahu is also expected to appear in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix later this year.

Natural Enemies[edit]

The Dahu is not a very ferocious, smart, or generally useful animal. Yet nonetheless, it is still considered endangered and can not be hunted at anytime. However, its numbers are dropping drastically. Recent reports have come in noting the possible sighting of American Bald Eagles, spotted soaring high over the Swiss Alps. Cedric Ebiner, for fear of the eagle, has thus installed a dome around his make-shift mountain.

Sexual Reproduction[edit]

The Dahu is especially unique in this respect. Now commonly called "The Dahu" among sexual enthusiasts, these animals have adapted to their oddly angled environments by learning to penetrate while on the run. One theory as to how and why the Dahu have evolved the ability of sexual intercourse on the run is to circumvent their notoriously short life spans. Logically, since most deaths occur not as a result of being relatively low on the food chain but by stumbling explosively into oncoming traffic, a boulder, or the ground itself, sexual reproduction must be enhanced so the Dahu don't become extinct. The Dahu are one of the only mammals able to have sex while running partly because of longer and more flexible tissue in both the biceps femoris and the vastus medialis muscles. These traits enable the male and female Dahu to successfully "hump" each other, while relying on the lower quadriceps for secondary physical activity, most notably, running or jumping in unison.

This page was last updated tomorrow at 9:00 A.M. PST.


What to say if your house is on fire[edit]

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(It goes on like this for over 1 million bytes) KJS77 19:58, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

of course if u are IN the house when it is on fire it wouldnt last a million bytes...

from Pullman High School[edit]

Zombie Control[edit]

It has been noted by several prominent zombie specialists that Pullman High School's current defense and zombie response plans are severely antiquated. The school, built in the sixties, is all on one level, and extremely vulnerable to zombie assault. Despite widespread concern, the local school board has repeatedly refused plans put forward to reinforce windows or intall a defensive moat. PHS's students hope that the school will soon realize the error of their ways and take measures to remove their pupils from harms way.

From TOY'S FACTORY[edit]


Editing Wikipedia while on drugs...

Deleted from Talk:Main Page[edit]

Hats off![edit]

According to Alexa, Wikipedia is now (on a 3 months moving average) the 10th most visited site in the world. Camptown 08:23, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

(If you're not wearing a hat, please put one on first, complications may occur otherwise). Yes, and that explains why we spend a lot of our time removing unencyclopedic marketing attempts. :( --Monotonehell 10:25, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Exactly, Wikipedia's success may very well be its worst enemy... Camptown 12:08, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
BTW: Alexa is actually a semi-official barometer at WP Statics Camptown 14:37, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
What do I do if I don't have any hats readily available? *puts piece of paper on head, then takes it off* It's just not the same... --LuigiManiac 12:31, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
What about those who have difficulty wearing hats? E.g. Sikhs with turbans? Nil Einne 15:36, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
There's always a solution. Stop being difficult! ;) --Monotonehell 15:45, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
*surgically affixes bowler hat, picks up briefcase and does Ministry of Silly Walks impression* Ah, that's better. Now, back to work, minions! *whipcrack* Write more articles, or be dunked in ACID. —Vanderdeckenξφ 19:09, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
No! Don't write more, make the ones we have better! J Milburn 09:10, 28 April 2007 (UTC)
Agreed. Quality, not quantity, is what we should be striving for. --LuigiManiac 23:20, 28 April 2007 (UTC)

<ACK> ~user:orngjce223 how am I typing? 18:26, 29 April 2007 (UTC)

Deleted from Jeremy Beadle[edit]


Jeremy has the ability to render himself completely invisible to his prey.

From B-29 MonkeySpanker[edit]

A big plane that spanks monkeys and then drops them as bombs.

(it never really existed)

From Hellopotato[edit]

I luv my girlfriend Kani Kathleen Bertke. Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

From a "modified" version of Super Mario Bros.[edit]


The player takes the role of David Hasslehoff or in the case of a second player, David's brother Osama Binladen. The object is to race through the Poop Pile to eliminate a decrepid force, and save Prinsess Lathargic. The Mario Brothers' primary attack is farting on babies, which kills the mushroom traitors (which in Japan are actually nose hairs and not mushrooms), known as monkey brains, and sends the German soldiers known as Nazis into their silly x-men conventions. David and Osama can then toe hack these shells into other enemies, which will conveniently assimilate them; but conversely, kicked shells can be resurected as medium size lemures. Some enemies can be killed only by shitballs or Lemure breath; stomping them will hurt the Mario Bros. Farting on enough enemies in rapid succession or toe hacking a shell into enough enemies in rapid succession (combos) results in double whammy's earned with each enemy killed, eventually earning Mario or Luigi a Nobel Prize, another chance to pass the level. Mario and Luigi can also obtain Nobel Prizes through finding 1-up spandex tokens and by collecting Norris Power Ups.

From Maharaja Jaiwant Singhji Waghela[edit]

if ham is canadian bacon then what is bacon????????

(This was the entire article.)

From John D. Rockefeller[edit]

John D. Rockefeller is the guy who touches you at night and makes your pajamas tight in the morning

from Supreme Goddess Lorena[edit]

Supreme Goddess Lorena is active as a philosopher and trainer in the field of female supremacy. The basic rule of her philosophy is that by law of nature women are superior and men are inferior. Within this philosophy she promotes a lifestyle where the (inferior) men serve the needs of the (superior) women. As a trainer, she offers many training programs that train men in their submissive roles. Recently, she does research into the spiritual foundations of Female Supremacy.

(The article was quite long, so I reproduce only my favorite section below. 'Femaria, City of Women' deserves a BJAODN Honorable Mention - it meets all the criteria except that, unfortunately, it can't be deleted.)

Female Supremacy[edit]

Because Supreme Goddess Lorena still lives and works, her philosophy develops every day. The main principles can be summarized in the few paragraphs below.

The general principle of Female Supremacy is that all women are superior and all men are inferior. Generally, women are life giving and nurturing, while men are life taking and destructive. If left to their own, men make this earth a worser place. By submitting to women and spending their energy to serve the superior needs of women, a better world for all (women and men) can develop. Women have a better life, because they are served in their needs. Men have a better life because they can stop being aggressive against women and against each other.

Women are naturally superior and dominant, but patriarchal society and education suppress these forces. So, women have to learn how they can make contact with their inner strength and how they can free their superiority and dominance. Men are naturally inferior and submissive, but patriarchal society instaured the logic of the penis and hence disrespect to women and aggression towards other men. Women who have found their inner strength can train men, so that they make contact with their submissive self and grow in servitude.

Female Supremacy is a basis for healthy relationships between women and men. This can be couple relationships (a marriage of a dominant woman with a submissive man), or a woman who decides to own a slave stable or communities like the one depicted in ‘Femaria, City of Women’. In a well developed female supremacy relationship the woman owns the man/men as a slave. This means that she has total control over his/their body, mind and soul.

(Later edits added several warning templates - notability, unreferenced, advert, original research, prod, and the following...)

From Math word justification[edit]

justification is the math word for ________________________________________________________________________________________ please answer the following question!

A good way to do one's homework. (Does it say "the following question"?..)

From Paippad[edit]

...Y.M.A (Young Men's Association) is the one and only recognized cultural center in Paippad, established in the late 70s, continuing its contribution to the cultural wards even today. Other clubs include Prathibha Arts and Sports Club Mukkanjiram, Siblings International Paippad and Welfare Cricket Club Paippad.

The Nilapana family which has his its roots in Pullinkunnu has its branches here as well.

Parackal, chunkathil, Achothil, Chenkilath etc are the oldest families in the region.

It's nearly 10 k.m. far from the town of Changanacherry

There is also a place Paippad near Harippadu in Alaappuzha district.

Paippad Lourd Matha church Perunnal is far famed and everybody celebrates it forgetting the religious constraints.Paippad Lourde Yuvadeepti KCYM is a legendary youth movement and it has cruised successfully through almost three decades. It has enlighted the youth and is still flourishing. Yuvadeepti has played a vital role in tracing history. The light of Jesus, the savior aroused the young hearts and instilled in them a sense of love and freedom. == See also ==

Seriously, it was written exactly like that! --WoodElf 08:37, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

From Pyronecrodendraphelia[edit]

pyronecrodendraphelia- n. - The sexual arousal that comes from the act or idea of having sex with dead burning trees.

From Stardock (diff)[edit]

Thi$ article i$ about the $oftware company. $tardock is al$o the title of a book by Fritz Leiber, and a hub for player$ of TradeWar$ 2002.
$ee al$o: Goat$e

Template:Infobox Company $tardock Corporation is a $oftware development company founded in 1991 and incorporated in 1993 as $tardock $ystems, later known as $tardock.net. $tardock initially devmoneyeloped for the O$/2 platform, but wa$ forced to $witch to Window$ due to the collap$e of the O$/2 $oftware market between 1997 and 1998. Mo$t of their computer program$ allow a u$er to modify or extend a graphical u$er interface, although they al$o develop and publish computer game$, particularly turn-ba$ed strategy game$.


Stardock created and maintains WinCustomize, a GUI customiza - OMG STFU n00b. u dont kno anything. k see, Brad was sitting in his tiny apartment cubicle one morning when an idea came to him while masturbating that computers were dull and boring and that he could make a lot of money by making some overpriced shit. He booted up his Hole-punch computer and wrote the software while jacking off. After spooging all over the computer he got mad at himself that he had ruined the computer. The software wasn't done so he decided to sell it anyway. He made lots of money from the many AOLers out there (aolers are rly rly stupid. So stupid it's fucked up.) So after moving to amiim he acidentally crashed into a Hippie grop's Microbus. After some fighting (and taking brad to burning man) he hired the group of 30 or so to be his lifeless henchmen making the shitty software that is very very overpriced. Currently he lives in San Francisco in a giant White House replica where he has ggay buttsecks on every saturday.

It goes on a lot further. --TV-VCR watch 08:24, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

From Cake is evil[edit]

my brothren of pie they tried to delete my words of pie wisdom we will rage war on cake will show it that we are the here to stay pie will rule pie pie pie pie we will stop erooskilla. in our elite pie divison manged to take away his message thingingy mik bobby he can no longer spread his cake yammering words of hate

From Yu-Gi-Oh![edit]


"*Stupid Yu Gi Oh lost me money on my car insurance. Me like cheese. Me like smelly cheese.I went to Geico. He saved me save money on my car insurance!!! I hate Yu Gi Oh"

From :Template:Pet Species[edit]

NO pets were harmed in the making of this thingamabob.

From Xemnas[edit]

Xehanort or M-A-N-A-S-S[edit]

A sextoy for Kill Bill, Template:Nihongo had no memory of his life prior to his appearance at the Radiant Garden after people with Keyblades fought. While studying the heart and the darkness within it, he began to assume the identity of his teacher and ravages his world out of his hunger for knowledge. He sacrificed his body in the process, becoming a Heartless and a Nobody. In Kingdom Hearts, Xehanort's Heartless possessed Riku's body to regain his physical presence. Although his goal of reaching Kingdom Hearts was realized, Xehanort's Heartless meets his demise by the light of Kingdom Hearts.

Xemnas, Xehanort's Nobody who sought to increase and use Kingdom Hearts's power, endures until Kingdom Hearts II. Xemnas seeks the power of Kingdom Hearts apparently from the belief that by controlling the heart of all worlds, he and the rest of the Nobodies can fully exist again. This may be a twisted form of the desire to find his original heart and reunite with it. Unfortunately, he uses manipulative and damaging means to do so, resulting in his destruction.

Xehanort's Heartless is voiced by Billy Zane in the English version of Kingdom Hearts and Richard Epcar in the English version of Kingdom Hearts II. In a flashback sequence in Kingdom Hearts II, Xehanort is voiced by Richard Epcar. Xehanort and Xehanort's Heartless is voiced by Akio Ohtsuka in the Japanese versions of both games. Xemnas is voiced by Paul St. Peter in the English version of Kingdom Hearts II and by Norio Wakamoto in the Gay version.

From Magnets[edit]

I am one of the materials that produce a magnetic field of their own. Extreme examples of magnets are (1) "hard" or "permanent" magnets (like refrigerator magnets), which remember how they have been magnetized, and (2) "soft" or "impermanent" magnets, which lose their memory of previous magnetizations. "Soft" magnetic materials are often used in electromagnets to enhance (often by factors of hundreds or thousands) the magnetic field of a current-carrying wire that has been wrapped around the magnet; when the current increases, so does the field of the "soft" magnet, which is much larger than the field due to the current. Permanent magnets occur naturally in some rocks, particularly lodestone, but they are now more commonly manufactured. When heated a magnet's magnetism goes down and when cooled a magnet's magnetism goes up.

From the Sandbox[edit]


(The entire page was a repetition of "BLAH," and went on for 256 kilobytes.)

From Endangered species[edit]

Hello, my name is king kong and i am endangered. the very old king kong tells us about endangered species:

From Harry and the Potters[edit]

They released their self-titled first album in July 2003 and, their second album, Voldemort Can't Stop the Cock!, was recorded in May and June of 2004.

Then mercifully corrected. --Fbv65edel / ☑t / ☛c || 00:18, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

From Bảo Thắng[edit]

Bao is a real prick. WE were truly in love and he left me for a woman. he said he couldn't be gay and the heir to the Vietnam throne. YOUR A PRETENDER YOU DUMB ASS. He is so full of himself.\: he lets the heir thing go to his head

Sexy prime[edit]

The oldest person ever[edit]

(from [2], by Jameslewis)

The oldest person ever to have lived was Humphrey Jonty Cottonthwaite-Shoemaker (born Feb 1870, Little Paddington, near Grays), who lived to the age of one hundred and thirty seven years, and is still partly alive today. He has lived in the same cottage all his life, and has never left his village, apart from a spell playing for Grays Athletic between 1887-1910, scoring a club record 71 own goals, including six in a fateful 17-1 defeat to Bishops Cleeve.

For many years, he enjoyed collecting dead weasels and covering them in Golden Syrup, until he forgot to make sure a weasel was dead, and got his hands bitten off.

Humphrey also lost a leg in a nasty accident involving a man eating tiger, which caused terror in the village of Little Paddington, halving the population from 4 to 2.

He once had a wife, Ethel, who sadly perished during the first ever episode of Coronation Street. They produced a son, George, who passed away forty years ago, aged 75.

His favourite TV show at the moment is Hollyoaks which he always watches with his traditional glass of malt whisky. His favourite character is one of the McQueen girls although he can't remember which one.

Humphrey has survived 57 assasination attempts, 34 of which have been by his neighbour at the time, possibly relating to a tree in his front garden, which grew to a staggering height of 521 feet.

He also still holds the title of Little Paddington's "Sexiest Hands", after 114 years. He does not remember winning it in the first place, and the judges seem to have overlooked the fact that Humphrey's hands ceased to exist nearly 100 years ago.

He enjoys listening to Acid Dance, and he often attends the local disco, or dancehall as he likes to refer to it. He also owns a pet antelope called Jonesy.

Humphrey believes that with a bit of luck he has at least ten more years to look forward to.

From Catherine II of Russia[edit]

As is the custom of Russian despots, Catherine had the ability to unhinge her jaw, like a snake. She used this ability to devour Pugachev's head, leader of the failed mass peasant uprising in Russia, who was ironically eaten by the starving peasants. This is further proof of the substantial and legitimate accounts of repeated cannibalism In European History. (diff)

From talk:Global warming[edit]

There are scientists who dissent [from the idea of man-made Global warming], but are quaking in their boots, too afraid to speak out. Think "Spanish Inquisition" for a close analogy. To dissent against AGW would be professional suicide, at this point. -- 03:04, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

I like to think [a] climatologist who doesn't believe the earth is warming because of all the green house gasses we are pumping into the atmosphere is analogous to a computer engineer who believes that computers work because little goblins inside of them push the electrons around. Both of them deserve professional ostracism. Raul654 03:13, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
The little goblins really are there, of course, but there's a big UN coverup. The dissenting computer scientists are afraid to speak out because of peer pressure from the ones that are making big bucks off this "semiconductor" theory. Obvious nonsense -- something either conducts or it doesn't, how can there be a "semi" conductor? Raymond Arritt 03:18, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

From Horatio Caine[edit]

Horatio One-Liners[edit]

- "What Happened Here?" (while taking off sunglasses)

- "Looks like we're just getting started her." )while putting sunglasses on)

Laurie (last name)[edit]

Laurie (last name) was born as the product of two cousins, he lives in fear of getting a beating from them. Due to this fact he lacks the ability to reproduce. He likes fondling, then eating cows and dogs. Especially on toast. He is the 252nd Pokemon,the evolved form of Mr. Mime, he has the ability to defeat every other pokemon, with his unique moves "Crazy Dance" and "Epileptic Fit" in which he has an epileptic fit scaring the other pokemon/women off, this move is similar to "Roar". He likes to stand in the showers during games wearing a white string vest and nothing else. Laurie's imaginary friends include Dong Johnson, Gav the Chav and Bean Flicker. Lauries claims his number is.


One time Laurie's penis fell of and a dog ran away with it. due to this he can no longer urinate without assistence from his mother. Some say his brother Richard has it in a jar in his room which he mocks laurie with shouting "haha Laurie i have ur penis" We are led to believe that Laurie is plotting to steal his brothers penis and attach both of them to himself so that he can urinate and have sexual intercourse at the same time with his cousin Bernard who is 48, overweight and claims he invented the question mark.

Claims made by Laurie

Laurie claimed he invented the motor car with his brother during happier times. However being inbred Laurie lacks technical ability and struggles with walking. Laurie has a collection of Michael Jackson memorabilia including his old face. which he used for oral sex and masturbation in which he simulated his own penis by using a carrot. He recently attempted to look cool in front of 1st years by smoking, but ended up setting his pubic hair on fire, this caused him to recieve another beating from his father and in turn led to his dad giving him a vasectomy using a plastic knife, a hedge trimmer and a drill.

Medical History

Laurie was diagnosed ginger at age 3, causing another beating. Laurie says that these beatings were acceptable and made him the man he is. Due to his gingerness his left hand has withered up and died he now has a sex toy in the shape of his fist, which he has been known to use to relieve his own boredom during the local services at his church by means of anal penetration.

Current Status

Laurie now resides in a cage in his bedroom, in Strabane, Co. Tyrone, having been rejected by the outside world and indeed by his own imaginary friends also. His parents no longer associate with him they now only feed him through a hatch, this food usually consists of his brothers excrement. Laurie now claims to be nocturnal coming out at night when he asserts girls are "prime for the raping." Although to this date Laurie has never had sex with any females. He does however hold the record for amount of times having been double penetrated by that man with two penises in the bushes.


Laurie is available for £5.49 in a woolworths near you!

It has been said that Laurie is the fault for Strabane once being named the third worst place to live in the UK, due to his now limited access to the town it has risen to the eighth worst place to live

From Winooski[edit]

The town of Winooski is named after the famed Ken Winooski, creator of now famous sliced bread. Slice bread was invented in the ole Winooski Farm on a cold January night in 1846. The bread that Edsel Winooski had prepared for dinner was frozen and the only way to portion to loaf was with an axe. The Winooski's, who made a substantial portion of their living through bread sales, experiment later in the spring with several different manners of producing commercial viable sliced bread. After the axe method was proven ineffective on unfrozen grains, the family tried saw mills, and scissors before finally discovering the knife, a recent import to these parts. The first sliced bread delivery happened in 1847 as the Winooski mule hauled a bread-cart down the road 17 miles to the local food market. It was an instant success. Winooski's bread caught the attention of some influencial people in Washington and New York. Kenneth Winooski was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and recieved several thousand dollars in seed money with which he grew his Wonderbread Company for several generations.

From "Bend it like Beckham"[edit]

Keira Knightly has been in Pirates of the Caribbean, but everyone knows that. What few realize, is that she has been seen the Himalayan Mountains, making funny noises like "wong tong teekee dong" and "shoogle doogle sparmy joogle". When asked, essentially, "What the hell are you doing" she has been known to respond with "Johnny Depp!" and "ergle fergle kleeger dergle".

From "Rock FM 91.9" (deleted)[edit]

(to explain, Port Kennedy is a distant outer suburb of Perth - 2km wouldn't even reach the nearest shopping centre/mall, let alone masses of listeners.)

Rock FM 91.9 is a small radio station in the suburb of Port Kennedy, located in Rockingham. The radio station broadcasts over a small radius of under 100 metres, depending on landforms in the area (example: open spaces). The limitations on Low Power Open Narrowcasting services in residential areas may cover an area within a 2 kilometre radius from the transmitter site, and thus the radio station does not apply to the Australian Communications and Media Authority guidelines for a license.


Rock FM 91.9 has been broadcasting in the local Rockingham community since 2001, when creator Matthew Layton wanted to send a voice to his local street and surrounds. The station commenced broadcasting in the suburb of Waikiki on December 24, 2001. By mentioning community announcements, the idea of a small street radio station became very successful. At the time, Matthew was 11 years old. Today Matthew Layton is 16 years old, and continues his passion for broadcasting a small radio station in the Port Kennedy community. The station broadcasts on 91.9 MHz on the FM frequency.

Matthew Layton[edit]

Matthew Layton, born on April 29, 1990 is the owner and DJ of Rock FM 91.9. Since commencing the radio station in 2001, Matthew has been the main operator of the radio station. There are plans for a spin-off radio station to commence broadcasting at his local high school, however plans have been slow to negotiate. As on 2006, Matthew is currently in Year 11 of secondary education study.

Shows on Rock FM 91.9[edit]

The Final Shift - Originally hosted by Matthew Layton and Bradley Ward. In 2006, Hadrienne Saunders co-host the show with Matt. As of 15 September, 2006 Matthew has announced the show solo. The show consisted of jokes, segments and music.

Rock FM's Top 10 - Commenced with the radio station in 2001, Rock FM's oldest radio show to date. The show commenced as the 'Rock FM Top 30' with Matthew Layton, before changing in size and changing co-hosts. As of 17 September, 2006 the show is on hiatus. The show concentrated on Top 40 music, and was compiled with SMS voting.

This edit [3] of Black dwarf...[edit]

The late and thoroughly unlamented "Template:article stinks"[edit]

On April 25th, tired, wikibonked, frustrated, stymied and bored, not to mention in a foul mood, I cavalierly added this to Franz Liszt. A slap on the wrist and some nice wiki-guilt later and I deleted it, but I almost still wish it had caught on......K. Lásztocska 18:11, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

Team Rocket's stupid..., from Talk:Miles "Tails" Prower[edit]

You know, if Team Rocket (as in, Jessie, James, and Meowth) ever met Tails, what are the chances that they would believe him to be some sort of pre-evolved form of Vulpix or Buizel? If you ask me, they'd definitely try to steal him... --Luigifan 11:18, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

Nah, they're too busy trying to steal Pikachu and getting yelled at by Giovanni. Why would they go after some two-tailed twat? Not that I hate Tails MightyKombat 12:50, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
They might think that he's some sort of fantastically rare Pokémon. (Of course, there's not much of a chance that they could actually get away without Sonic beating the tar out of them, but that's another story.) --Luigifan 11:09, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

Ok then, here's an idea, what if the Sentinels from X-Men mistook Inuyasha for a mutant? Or what if Peter Pan mistook Sagat from Street Fighter as one of Captain Hook's henchmen? MightyKombat 17:12, 9 May 2007 (UTC)

And, your point is...? --Luigifan 23:53, 9 May 2007 (UTC)
The point is probably that this whole section of the talk page is irrelevant to the article and should be placed on BJAODN. --LuigiManiac 01:00, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

Yeah you're actually better off moving it as it's completely pointless. MightyKombat 07:26, 10 May 2007 (UTC) P.S. Team Rocket are useless

Hee hee, that's true... --Luigifan 11:37, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

Taken from Universal paradox[edit]

"2 things (or more) happen that contradict eachother, the universe implodes, existence is no more... the end"

From: Wikipedia:Reference desk/Miscellaneous[edit]

I heard my friens talking about acidic jews. what are thry please?

Hasidic Jews? -- Phoeba WrightOBJECTION! 18:06, 13 May 2007 (UTC)
Sweet... --Charlene 18:11, 13 May 2007 (UTC)
We could have a long trollish thread about adjusting the pH of Jews, but that would be wrong. —Tamfang 18:13, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

Is there a litmus test to determine if one is that type of Jew or just a basic Jew ? StuRat 18:21, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

Oy vey.  :) --TotoBaggins 18:56, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

From: Todomondo[edit]

Todomondo represented Romania at the Eurovision Song Contest 2007 with their song "Liubi, Liubi, I love you". They placed 13th overall. They were considered the worse artist in the contest. And they are. The band members are, some of them gipsies and billy boys. They suck. They all were members in bands of gipsy music, in Romania are called Manele (Manelisti - the member who listen to manele). In fact, they dont know music at all. All of their music is crap and cut'n'paste from other foreign artists.

From: Laura shaffer[edit]

"Everyone mourned and fasted for a month; Her spirit will never die; she will never be forgotton" - Child of Blue Noodles 1812

Early Native American leader, Little Cow, was born April 18, and later changed her name to Laura Regina Bernadette when she was christened after she married Ronaldo Hose Ole Shaffer. She was in the Shoshone tribe with Sacagawea, who helped Louis and Clark explore the Louisianna Purchase. She is famous for trading nuts and rocks with Americans and teaching them how to knit. She was murdered in 1811 by drunkened hunters who mistook her foor a deer or walking dolphin. http://imdb.com/name/nm0787322/

Legend says that she will curse the life of every hunter until the end of time and dwindle his prosperity. It is believed that her ghost can be seen at twilight, peacefully skipping rocks into the ocean until the sun rises and her body turns to stone and shatters into the water. She can be seen in lightning laughing and petting sheep.http://imdb.com/name/nm0799777/

From Popular culture [4][edit]

In popular culture[edit]

  • There are frequent references to popular culture in the television program Family Guy. (It should be noted that the majority of these references constitute parody of popular culture rather than direct references.)
  • The television show The Gilmore Girls features frequent mentions of popular culture topics.
  • The cable network VH1 has several series devoted to the discussion of popular culture.
  • The Simpsons uses references to popular culture but in an arguably more subdued way than Family Guy.
  • Some religions such as the Amish stand in direct opposition to popular culture.
  • The online encyclopedia Wikipedia often has a "Popular culture" section in articles which catalogues references to the topic in anime, video games and animated TV shows.
  • Popular culture is most often spread through movies and TV, though the internet is becoming an increasingly popular medium.
  • All popular culture contains popular culture by definition
  • People are frequently entwined in popular culture; see: wikipedia:People#In_Popular_Culture
  • Popular culture is a section in the Popular culture wikipedia article, wherein one such example is the use of "popular culture" sections within Wikipedia articles.

From Lajes Field[edit]

On May 10, 2005, El Al flight 001 between New York and Tel Aviv, landed at Lajes after experiencing a medical emergency. One elderly male passenger was removed from the flight and was eventually declared dead at Lajes. Everyone else had to sit on the plane for about 4 hours, w/o a/c, until it was determined that the available fuel was compatible with the Boeing aircraft. One passenger's wife was convinced that Lajes was an unmapped, secret military base. She ignored her husband's assurances otherwise until April 28, 2007, when they finally searched for it on Google, where they found this entry on Wikipedia.


It is widely acknowledged that PETA members do in fact wish to sodomize and be sodomized by animals, which explains their irrational attachment to a source of food. The more extreme PETA members go so far as to refuse to eat plants, because "plants are people too". These zealots die of starvation, which is, of course, far too kind a fate for the likes of such brain-morons. PETA members are seemingly unable to comprehend the concept of the food chain. They also are seemingly unable to realize that the animals that prey on humans as a source of nutrition are all too willing to do so, and that turnabout is fair play. "Honey is for baby bees" they proclaim. Honey is best used to manufacture mead, a tasty alcoholic beverage, in fact, the world's most ancient alcoholic beverage. If PETA had its way, mead would be no more. Do you want that? Do you? Yeah, that's what I thought. Remember, boys and girls, PETA would rather kill people than animals, and if you don't think that's mightily fucked up, then go join up with the abominable collection of hippies with too much time on their hands known as PETA.

Despite the popular perception of PETA's handle being an acronym for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals", it is a little known fact that their name is derived from the New England pronunciation of the Christian name "Peter". Some prerequisites for joining PETA are a total lack of common sense, the ability to get righteously pissed about things that don't matter whatsoever, an inability to form complex ideas, and sand in the vagina. Denial that bacon is delicious and tasty is a hallmark symptom of PETA membership, as is denial that steak totally fucking rocks. The lack of consumption of dairy products among the denizens of PETA results in extremely brittle bones , which makes beating the fucking Jesus out of them that much easier. The only valuable members of PETA are the women, who can be enticed into submitting to anal sex under the aegis of "saving the whales" or some shit like that. In summation, it is eminently fair to proclaim far and wide that PETA is "PETArded".

From: Fish oil[edit]

The American Heart Association recommends the consumption of 1g of fish oil daily, preferably by eating fish, or patients with coronary heart disease.

Previously, "for patients". [5]

Flammable monkeys[edit]

Monkeys can be flammable.


This article uses very simple words so even the less intelligent people will understand that monkeys are flammable.

What are Flammable Monkeys

Monkeys are very flammable. Monkeys can be even more flammable when they are doused in gasoline. In order to light a monkey on fire, all you require is some sort of lighting mechanism such as a lighter, a match, or a nuclear missile. A nuclear missile might perhaps be a considered a little overboard, but I am sure it would classify as the monkeys being lit on fire until they no longer exist.

The flammability of Monkeys is something science is starting to touch upon. This is a feild eager young scientists should get into, because it is going to become the greatest thing since Cooked Bread.

A Very Funny Quote

"Monkeys in my Pants: Like the Internet, but flammable".


Q: What do flammable monkeys taste like?
A: Chicken
Q: Why are monkeys flammable?
A: They are organic.
Q: What is the purpose of flammable monkeys?
A: They are the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Non-Flammable Monkeys

There are no non-flammable monkeys. All monkeys are flammable in some way shape or form. If you cannot get a monkey on fire, you are not trying hard enough.


You should never light a monkey on fire. You may be jailed. It is illegal. Do not do it. Ever.

From Gene Simmons Egg[edit]

An Egg, much like Gene Simmons.

From Stars conversion table[edit]

There has been a bitter debate over the last few years between the various nations of the world regarding the correct methods for standardizing elementary school grades to ease potential primary school transfers as well as eleminate the need for biased and antiquated standarized testing. To end this argument once and for all, the Blumedav Institute has developed this quick and easy conversion so that the average second grader will no longer feel confused when his substitute gives him 3 gold stars instead of a check mark with a plus sign.

Explanation of the Variables

N - Number of stars

X - Number of checkmarks

P - Dummy variable for plus sign (plus sign in included group)

ln(N) = 3X * 32p

Additionally it should be noted that a "thumbs up" or "pat on the back" is equivalent to 1.3 check marks on the above scale and if "points" are given they should be treated as around 1/4 of a star apiece.

There is still some disagreement among the scientific community regarding the accuracy of this ratio as it is merely an estimate and not yet proven.

From Penfold[edit]

  • He is also a keen supporter of Scottish independence [6]
  • Penfold left Britain to fight in the Falklands. He defected to the Argies and is now living under a false identity in Patagonia [7]
  • Bears an uncanny resemblance to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.[8]
  • Although he is a MOLE many believe he is a hampster, possibly because they're wrong and lie to people at pub quizes.[9]
  • As of 2005, Penfold had 4 tattoos: a British Bulldog, 'L-O-V-E' on his right hand knuckles, 'H-A-T-E' on his left hand knuckles, and a large B on either buttock - the result of a drunkern night in Bradford with Basil Brush.[10]
  • Penfold was born in Lewisham hospital, South-East London and spent his youth living in Melrose Close, number 3. He's friends included a young Spider Man at number 21 and a young Batman at number 36. He spent much of his childhood being chased by the police and torching cars. He had one known lady friend who was called Pink Power Puff girl who lived at number 8 Melrose Close.[11]
  • The character has developed from the character of a teacher of georgraphy at Northampton School for Boys, Northampton, England. Mr Husskinson has been called Penfold throughout his whole career, and many do not even know his correct surname as stated on his birth cetificate.[12]
  • Although some people think he is a Human, Penfold is a hampster. In the season 3 episode called "The Odd Ball Runaround", the voice-over refers to Penfold as a human.[13]

From Mao[edit]


From Bolun[edit]

A rare disease often incorperated with the homosexuality of a donkey and/or abnormal animal. Often used as a slang word for an offensive and demeaning action. Context: "You're Mom is such a bolun, that when she farts helium comes out".

Secondary Definition: A small unidentified disease involving the left testicle. Scientists and Doctor's have yet to discover why the left testicle is the only body part that is prone to this disease.

Terrtiary Definition: A hermophordited-type disease in which a "human Being" can be interperted as male or female, often both. donkey-1.jpg

An unfortunate male/female suffering from the tragic symptom of Bolun

The free-use rationale that wasn't[edit]

"I used the ___ logo off ___ (company's website) and edited the picture to remove the ___ copyright.

Public domain

I, the creator of this work, hereby release it into the public domain. This applies worldwide.
In case this is not legally possible,
I grant any entity the right to use this work for any purpose, without any conditions, unless such conditions are required by law.

From Nothing[edit]

From Pauly Shore[edit]

It is believed that Pauly Shore once grew carrots as a kid, but it is unsure whether any were harvested. It has been confirmed, however, that the Shore family did have a garden in which they grew a variety of vegetables....

From Super Mario Bros.: Iggy's Vengeance[edit]

Super Mario Bros.: Iggy's Vengeance was an unrealeased Mario Bros. game from Nintendo. Nintendo created Iggy's Vengeance because they wanted a change of pace and gameplay. They were sick and tired of jumping on enemies or fireballing them. Iggy's Vengeance starts with a cut-scene showing Iggy inventing something. He turns and holds it up in jubilation. He says, with uncontained glee, "YES! A SNIPER RIFLE!" The game proceeds to another cut-scene, this one showing Iggy sniping Bowser. Iggy then proceeds to kill all the other Koopalings. Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario is at a gun range, firing his handgun, not into the targets, but into the other people at the range, including Luigi. Your first fight in the game is against Luigi or Mario (you can choose which character to play as, but your stuck with either Mario or Luigi for the whole game). Whichever brother you choose, the game will tutor you into killing your brother. Afterwards, Mario (I stole a copy from the Nintendo Game Factory) is lying on the ground, dead(I chose Luigi). Iggy shows up, and, after pumping lead into Princess Peach's arm, kidnaps her and takes her to Bowser's -- or, make that Iggy's -- Castle. The game proceeds in much the same way as the tutorial, except you can choose to beat the crap outta people instead of shooting them. Whenever you don't have your handgun, like for much of world 2, you are forced to beat the crap outta people.

Deleted from Robbie Williams[edit]

Recently rumours have surfaced that Williams is neither straight nor gay, nor male nor female. A top US scientist has claimed that when Robbie was touring the states he witnessed the superstar turn into a rabbit. "One minute he was eating cake and looking at his Liam Gallagher posters, then the next he just grew massive ears and started munching my front garden." It is alleged that authorities had to evactuate all carrots within a mile radius before Williams turned back to human form. - [14]

from Super Smash Bros Brawl[edit]

the following edits are from a user who "thought" he was getting info from a reliable source, but of course he wasn't.

Bowser Jr.[edit]

Template:Main Template:Nihongo is the son of Bowser, the Koopa King. he first appeared in Super Mario Sunshine. it is thought that he may have a move-set like that of this Father. Confirmed by Sakurai on the Tokyo Radio Show "The Game show" on March 5th, 2007.

Now WHY would he put him in if he didn't even put normal Bowser in?

Link(Wind Waker)[edit]

Template:Main Template:Nihongo, the protagonist of The Legend of Zelda series. So far, it is Not known if he will get his own Move-set, or be a clone of Link. Confirmed by Sakurai on the Tokyo Raido Show "The Game show" on March 5th, 2007.

MANY people wanted to see a Wind Waker version of Link, but of course this is only a rumor. Why did he capitalize Not and Move-set?


Template:Main Template:Nihongo is the main Arch-foe of Samus Aran in the Metroid series. Little is know about His role in Brawl as of yet. Confirmed by Sakurai on the Tokyo Radio Show "The Game show" on March 5th, 2007.

I would want to see him. That's for sure

The Following Fighters that Appeared in Melee have been confrimed will be in Brawl:

*Ahem* no they haven't. Whoever made this edit obviously is so gullible... Dark Ermac 11:27, 18 May 2007 (UTC)

From Crank dab page[edit]

But now see the revert comment:


From Amtrak[edit]


Amtrak has been known "the Enron of train transport". The cause of this particular nickname is due to Amtrak's outrageous prices and low reliability. Coincidentally, Amtrak was a strong advocate and business partner of Enron. However, when Enron was revealed as a fradulent company, Enron's corporate leaders approached the Amtrak corporate leaders. The Amtrak CEO alledgedly leaned down and whispered into the Enron CEO's ear, "Thanks for taking the fall. But now I'm breaking our contract. You won't get any money from me. I need to be discreet, and any word gets out that I'm giving you money will ruin me. BIATCH!"

From Plant a Radish[edit]

Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt That's why I love vegetables, you know what they're about! Plant a radish, get a radish, maybe you'll get two That's why I love vegetables, you know that they'll come through!

They're dependable! They're befriendable! They're the best pal a parent's ever known But with children, it's bewilderin' For as soon as you think you know just what you've got... It's what they're not.

So plant a beanstalk, get a beanstalk, just the same as Jack Then if you don't like it you can always take it back! But if your issue doesn't kiss you then I wish you luck For once you've planted children then you're absolutely stuck!

Every turnip green, every kidney bean Everything grows according to the plot But with progeny, it's hodge-podgeny For you don't know until the seed is nearly grown Just what you've sown


Taken from How to die in a hole[edit]

1.) You dig a hole. About 5 by 5 depending how wide and tall you are. 2.) Die. 3.)You have sucessfully died in a hole.

Taken from the now-deleted Haynes Bridge Middle School[edit]

Mission Statement

"As a considerably large, cocaine smuggling operation run by Taiwanese bankers, the school has "high" expectations, Haynes Bridge Middle School will kill any students caught associating with pirates, emos, or n00bs. The students are equipped to succeed and contribute their "knowledge" in a changing world, by providing unique educational opportunities in active partnerships with Hitler, Communists, Gangstas and Hoes."

From: Massively multiplayer online game[edit]

IRL as an MMO[edit]

It has been reported on the internets that IRL is an MMO. This is unconfirmed as of the time of this writing, mostly because 99.96575% of MMO players don't leave their houses.

From Caps Lock[edit]

User made the entire page in upper case. [15]

From Moon[edit]


The current population of the Moon is zero, although there are artifacts left behind by visitors, such as Niel Armstrong. As of 2007, nobody is known to have been born on the Moon. As noted above, NASA is mulling increasing the population by a considerable proportion.

Taken from Great depresions eggs(sic)[edit]

The chicken was invented in 1953 as a means of making couches more comfortable. A man named Mr rivers or as people of the time knew him "old man rivers" realized its real potential.chicken beaks are make very effective letter openers. Because of the chickens new found use they were bread using a special chemical in their grain and allot of very horny Asians.In present day chickens are abundant and some crazy hippie pokes them 100,000,000 a day to harden their beaks. A side affect of this excessive prodding is that about 10 small pinkish ball like objects are laid by the chickens these are known as eggs. The ratio of eggs to beaks is 1:10 and because of the popularity of letter openers large amounts of eggs are produced on a daily basis. This abundance of eggs means that they are sold for a very low price. Therefore this explains the great depression's effect on the price of eggs.

If there was not a great depression then people would have been able to afford real letter openers.

Humans United Against Robots[edit]



I eat Buffalo for breakfast.

from Silkroad Online[edit]

See this revision!:



Accuracy in naming articles[edit]

This one is very hard to summarise. However it's very easy to understand. Sometimes less is more.

From Talk:Floppy disk[edit]

A proper prefix system for binary would have to be two-based, not ten-based. I propose:
  • 2 bytes = doppelbyte
  • 4 bytes = quadrobyte
  • 8 bytes = eightobyte
  • 16 bytes = sweetobyte
  • 32 bytes = intelobyte
  • 64 bytes = nintendobyte
  • 128 bytes = archaeobyte
  • 256 bytes = toofiddysixobyte
  • 512 bytes = notnearlyenoughobyte
  • 1024 bytes = enoughobyte
Until this rational, reasonable system is adopted, we should probably stick with units that people understand. "Kilobyte" is fine for 1024; if we need to disambiguate, we can say "binary kilobyte", or contrast it with the "scammy floppy-disk makers' kilobyte" of 1000.

Matthew Bisset[edit]

Matthew Bisset may well be the funniest guy ever to come into existence. Like many people, Matt was born on the 35th of the 15th 2012 A.D. unlike most people, it happened to him twice. after his birth, not much happened until he said his first word about 3 and a half seconds later, it was 'WAAAAH' but nobody actually classified it as a word. Eventually he learned to speak actual english, words like 'mumma' and 'dadda, even words like 'antidisestablishmentarianism', but he didn't say that too often, unless he was hungry. By the time Matthew turned 7 he had already wet his bed 3 1/4 times, eaten 135 russian poodles, and sat on a frenchmen while wearing a nappy on his head. When he turned 17, Matthew decided to have a party. He invited all his friends, like the President of the Swedish Republic and the Queen of America. Matthew is now currently in orbit around Saturn and is expected to return some time in the near past dressed as King Kong. For his 412th birthday, he would like to run around wearing nothing but a napkin and some pants, and maybe even a t-shirt. Matthew Bisset has many names, these included Leonardo Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Neil Armstrong, and George. But he prefers Bibblewip. He is currently learning to play the harmonica with his feet, the piano with his nose, and the cello with someone else's hands. Not quite sure who's. No one is really sure how Matthew Bisset became so fabulously funny and famous. Some say it's from writing too many fake Articles on the internet, some say he got it from the cousin of a former diplomat of Yugoslavia, but wherever he came from, he's one funny bunny rabbit.

From trivia, Star Trek : Dagger of the Mind[edit]

  • This episode establishes that Christmas is still celebrated in the 23rd Century. On the specific Christmas mentioned in this episode, Kirk met Helen Noel, whose name happens incidentally to mean "Christmas" in French.
  • This episode also establishes that office parties are essentially unchanged in the 23rd Century.

Alastairward 08:33, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

From Vanna White[edit]

On May 21, 2007, Vanna died when she got ran over by Alex Trebek who fell asleep at the wheel and she died instantly. Pat Sajak announced the new hostess of Wheel of Fortune will be Rosie O'Donnell if Rosie promises not kiss women on the show because if she does, Pat will call her a female version of Richard Dawson.

From Infinite regress[edit]

See also

From Fighting tactics[edit]

Dont get hit.

Harry Pickle[edit]

There once was a town called Harry Pickle,

Everyone in it was named Harry Pickle,

One man was not named Harry Pickle,

So they hung him by his Hairy Pickle!

Xavier Petrokovic[edit]

Xavier Petrokovic was born to Svetlana and Yuri Petrokovic, on February 29, 1896, in St. Petersburg, Russia. Raised in Berlin, he studied under the masters of the 2nd Viennese School and is known most for his innovative kuche musik “kitchen music.” This eccentric musical genre combined ordinary household appliances with traditional instruments. Examples include: “Sonata for Eggbeater and Balalaika,” “Blendermelodie,” and “Concerto for Toaster and Orchestra.” His willingness to push the boundaries of traditional instrumentation forged the way for expressive use of kitchen appliances as musical mediums. Petrokovic was tragically killed in 1967 in a culinary accident while recording his final composition, “Divertimento for Pots, Pans, and Waffle Irons.”

from Velociraptor[edit]

Battling Velociraptors     

- The Velociraptor, despite its infinitesimal size, will prove to be a meritorious adversary. One should be well adapted for battle in the case of an velitation. A common strategy is to extend one arm straight out (usually the arm that the individual rather not have) and allow the velociraptor to mutilate it while the free arm makes a grab for the tail. Once a firm grip is obtained, the velociraptor is swung by the tail into the nearest solid object, and usually angled so that it is the head or spine that makes initial contact. If an object is at hand, such as a bag or battle axe, it is recommended that it be used to either distract the velociraptor as a lunge is made for the tail, or destroy it. Although these facts have previously been believed to be false, irrelevant, and nonsense, they have been proven on numerous occasions.

well it made me smile --Speed Air Man 09:10, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

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