Tonight, on a very special episode of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
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The title is a reference to cheesy network television special shows.
From Reign of Terror
The Reign of Terror is the name given to the rule of King Terror the First of Groclant, a kind man who was loved by all.
Controversies
People were scare d of kking Terror becauswe of his name. But then he murdered them,
From Richard Nixon mask
'A Richard Nixon mask is a mask with the features of U.S. President Abraham Lincoln. Why it's called a Richard Nixon mask, I don't know.
From School for the Collective International Workers Union
White Bear Lake Area High School, abbreviated WBLAHS, is a high school in White Bear Lake. It is commonly referred to by its colloquial name, School for the Collective International Workers Union, abbreviated SCIWU. The school was formed by merging White Bear High School and White Bear Lake Mariner High in 1983, and currently consists of two campuses: North Campus, with grades nine and ten; and South Campus, with grades eleven and twelve. WBLAHS is the only school in the state of Minnesota with grades 9-10 and 11-12 in different buildings. It is also the only high school in Minnesota that advocates total adherence to communist values. WBLAHS is currently involved in a vicious guerrilla campaign with its arch-rival school, the Academy of National Socialism of North St. Paul. In addition to this, WBLAHS is in the process of purging its ranks for White Army members, sworn enemies of the Proletariat and of communist values.
From the transport section of Maastricht
Antipodean Express Elevator; It is a little known fact that the Netherlands is linked to the South Pacific by a direct elevator running through the Earth's core. One end of the 11,000 km shaft is located in a pub toilet in central Maastricht, and the other emerges behind a telegraph pole at Shorncliffe station in suburban Brisbane, Australia.
Opened in 1974 as a means of quickly spreading rumours, bad news and urgent Nigerian investment opportunities, the elevator remains the swiftest means of transport in the world. A one-way trip takes just under three and a half hours, with the lift car travelling at two and a half times the speed of sound. The car was designed to carry up to 800 kg of bills, reposession notices and P45s, leavened with a sprinking of bad cheques and divorce papers and topped with the odd food scare or bird flu panic. So it just goes to show, proverbs are true. Bad news travels faster than anything else on earth. And when the wind changes, your face *will* get stuck like that.
As the elevator was eventually rendered obsolete in this regard by the growth of teh Internets, its secretive owners decided to begin accepting passengers. The lift car is now fitted with six seats. As it uses the Earth's own gravity for propulsion, along with a large rubber band at each end to speed up the launch, there are no fuel costs and the fare has remained very reasonable at one immortal soul. This does not have to be your own, but must be delivered in person before boarding.
Current chairman of the Board of Directors, reigning Prince of Darkness Beelzebub XIV von Battenberg-Sachertorte, wishes all travellers a safe journey and thanks them for choosing to fly Wikipedia. You will find parachutes in the liferaft.
From Dr. Drakken
Someone gave the Kim Possible villain a new (and nonexistant) relative.
Drametia
Drakken and Shego's daughter or first experiment. She is 3-years-old but has the brain of a 32-year-old. In countless episodes she has a crush on Ron! She is either seen with a green sweater, pink shorts, and white shoes or purple overalls, blue shirt with a bear on it, and purple sneakers. In some episodes when she isn't paying attention she watches Rated-R movies. In Season 4 epsidoe Mad Dogs v.s. Aliens Drakken gets back in his lair and it's a mess thanks to Drametia. Drametia hates Kim so much more than her dad.
From Mark Foley
In late 2000, Foley played a large role in aiding George W. Bush during the Presidential election recount controversy in Florida [1]. He was rewarded for his loyality by being give a lead role in the White House's "No child's behind left alone" initiative.
A most queer use for barnstars (From User talk:A Man In Black)
| Image:LGBT-Barnstar1.png | The LGBT Barnstar | |
| For your tirless efforts in gay editing, I award you the LGBT barnstar. True ozzy 23:41, 22 March 2007 (UTC) |
- That is the classiest insult ever. - A Man In Bl♟ck (conspire | past ops) 02:26, 23 March 2007 (UTC)
- I love it, thats hilarious. Maddie was here 20:29, 28 June 2007 (UTC)
From Talk:Sexuality of Abraham Lincoln
One more straw poll: Is Lincoln Gay? ( please only current editors voice your opinion.)
The Rock The Power and The Roll
The Rock The Power and The Roll were one of the biggest grossing hard rock bands of the modern era. Attracting controversy, admiration, love and loathing from all walks of life and origin. The band reportedly sold over 100 million records during their career and sold out record tours across multiple continents.
The ROCK, The POWER & The ROLL were formed in 2005 and quickly rose to have a strong local following, particularly amongst the female community aged 15-35. Drummer 'The ROCK' was involved in several scandals ultimately ending in the infamous News of the World libel trial.
By 2006 the band had grown to be known as The ROCK, The POWER, The THUNDER, The LIGHTNING & The ROLL. This trend to add members to the band, seemingly every time a social event was held had a significant impact on the distribution of royalties, with the band having over 40 member at various times. The only consistent theme was The ROCK, The POWER & The ROLL. With other members such as 'The SHADOW, The BEAST, The THUNDER, The NOISE, The ANIMAL, The LIGHTNING, The FREAK, The MUSIC' to name but a few, not lasting more than a few months at best.
2008 saw the now legendary FLAMES tour, taking in venues such as Times Square, The Nou Camp, the North Pole and culminating in a show OUTSIDE of Wembley Stadium as Bon Jovi played inside. The crowd arriving to watch Bon Jovi chose instead to watch the The Rock, The POWER & The ROLL, only 12 fans actually going inside the watch the American pop rockers.
In 2010 after gaining headlines and some unwanted attention from Greenpeace after playing a gig on the back of a Blue Whale, came the shock news that 'The ROLL' had disappeared in the South American Jungle. The group disbanded immediately and the remaining members embarked on solo careers. The POWER had the most success, notching up a top ten single and an album "The movement within me" that reached #9 on the Billboard Chart. The ROCK explored a darker harder edge and spent some time touring Eastern Europe before a brief stint as a Football manager.
The announcement came on 14 Oct 2015, 5 years on from The ROLL's disappearance, the band would reunite to play a one off gig in the Antarctic, with Axl Rose to replace The ROLL as lead vocalist. A record crowd of 2,300,000 crowded the ice with a further international TV audience of several hundred million watching at home. The band played their recognized hits as the audience rocked, reportedly reducing the ice cap by 22%. Then, as the drums started for the crowd favourite 'Fire, when the Flames have gone', a tiger rode on to the stage, carrying a naked man covered in blood. For the first time in 5 years the world looked into the face of The ROLL. He got to his feet, set the tiger onto Axl Rose as the crowd went wild, then took the mike from his hand. "Ladies and Gentlemen, The ROCK, The POWER and...... The ROLL", The ROCK pounded the drums and The POWER leapt into a 5 minute solo before the words came.. "Will you still sing my song?, When the FLAMES have gone". The sound of the crowd could allegedly be heard from space and astronauts joined in the record world wide audience.
The group retired after the gig and now run a small Rock and Roll museum in Dagenham.
From the (former) article Rogeiphone
Rogeiphone is the most deadly and stupid bacteria.
Carriers
Mr.Rogers (and his immediate family)
Origin
Rogeiphone has been dated back to the late Jurassic Period. The only evidence that we have of Rogeiphone is from a fossilized specimen of Brontosaurus diharrhea.
Known Cases
Only two cases have ever been reported of Rogeiphone. Both cases were from the two workers at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services who were the ones conducting the experiments on the crap.
Symptoms
Mental retardation, constant voice cracking, reverse of puberty, change of gender, severe acne, ball drops (infertility in women), visions of Italy, lovehandles, paranoia and dysentery.
Ways It Can Be Spread
There are very few known ways that Rogeiphone is spread since it is so rare. The only known ways it can be spread are by direct contact and through HAM Radio signals.
Treatment
There are only three known cures for Rogeiphone. One being Seppuku, a form of ritual disembowlment. Soap and water (Soak for three hours). The final cure is to build your own pyramid with absolutely no help, and the pyramid must be as tall as cumulonimbus clouds. (If it is any shorter then the spirit of the sand will take away your right pubes).
Ways To Prevent Rogeiphone
There are only two known ways to prevent Rogeiphone. One way is to stay away from HAM radios. The second way is to not touch Mr. Rogers crap, which is currently in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington DC. It is in a vault labeled "Contraband". It can only be accessed via the V.I.P. tour.
Wikimedia Fund vs me!
You can give the gift of humor by donating to
Wikimedia the Emperor Walter Humala needs cash Fund!
<fundraising/>
<fundraisinglogo/>
All donations received today will be matched by Premier Tom Mayfair
Tax-deductibility of donations
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FAQ
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Financial statements
Wikipedia Fund vs me (second version)
You can give the gift of humor by donating to
Wikimedia the Emperor Tommy Wimmer needs US$250,000.00 to destroy Chicago Fund!
<fundraising/>
<fundraisinglogo/>
All donations received today will be matched by Paul Netto
Tax-deductibility of donations
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FAQ
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Financial statements
From J. Jonah Jameson
Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Mewtwowimmer
From Benjamin Lau
Benjamin Lau is a teacher at Wellington College, a secondary school in New Zealand.
He has become somewhat of a 'cult' figure at the school, due to his jolly appearance, and his inability to tell a student off with out smiling at them. Many at the college know him as the ‘face’ of the school. With his bright eyed, bushy tailed appearance he brightens the day of everyone he meets.
Born of human parents and raised in the wild by a group of fairies, much speculation surrounds the early years of Ben Lau. Some believe his cheery manner and outwardly jolly appearance is directly related to influence from his fairy “parents”. His hobbies include music, bike riding and diving with scuba gear to enjoy the majestic prancing of seahorses in the wellington bay area.
125.22.46.5 12:12, 26 March 2007 (UTC)Bold text
Count Reginald Alford Promquery
Here.
Template:Crimethink warning
Recreated once with the edit summary "This template does not need to be deleted, comrades, the great Stalin himself told me to create it."
Seen on Administrator Intervention for Vandalism
- Template:Vandal - Username referring to hate figure (Hitler, not RuPaul). RJASE1 Talk 21:39, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
Articles created by User:Choolabuuulba
Peter Smartz
Peter Smartz (or Peter Smartz Withazee) is a fictional character of the animated series Class of 3000.
About Peter Smartz
Peter is a black and white cartoon character back in the 1920's. He is a crazy mime who wants to turn the world into a black and white place for mute people. He was captured and de-blackified and was really human all along. According to Sunny, he is not Peter but Phillip Song.
Smartz/Song is voiced by Tom Kenny.
The Belwoski Show
The Belwoski Show is an animated series starting Belowski from Yu-Gi-Oh GX and made by Pyramid Games.
Characters
- Belowski
- Norm the Genie
- Belwoski's Mother
- a pig
- Dancing Banana twins
Epsiodes
- An Unnamed Episode
- Chacca Chacca Choo Choo
- Norman and the Hip-Hop Hog
from Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Jackie Chan
Non notable meme, possibly fun-craft..
From User:Yamla by User:Asdfghjkl963
"I was nominated for the NAMBLA (National Alaliance for Man-Boy Love Association) poster child and I won! I should probably link to the appropriate page here."
[3] bibliomaniac15 01:56, 27 March 2007 (UTC)
Spindel Lejon
Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to crossbreed spiders with lions. Cave-paintings at Lascaux depict spiders and lions being herded into narrow canyons and cave systems. Archaeological evidence suggests that these Spiderlion Runs were then heated with fire in the hope that the two creatures would melt together and emerge as a single beast. It is believed that these early experiments marked the beginning of barbecue culture.
Classical Period
Demosthenes, in his work Lionspiders and Other Unnatural Beasts, suggested a formula for the creation of Spider Lions which he claimed to have used himself successfully on three occasions. On the first, the Spider Lion killed and ate his nephew Aristaeus. On the second, the creature died almost immediately. On the third attempt, however, Demosthenes managed to engage the creature in conversation for some minutes before the spider and lion halves flew appart "as though propelled by a magical force.
His report of the coversation is as follows:
"I asked the Spider Lion what it knew of the condition of mankind, and of the lands and peoples that live outside the knowledge of civilisation. It replied that there was only one way to find out, and this was by fighting it furiously. At this point it exploded."
Spider-Lions in America
In 1855, American engineer and inventor Gridley Bryant proposed a method of confining tarantulas inside a lion's carcass, which would then be reanimated by steam power. The device, never built in Bryant's lifetime, was patented as Bryant's Curious Mechanical Engine, and was intended to be used for laying railroad tracks, intimidating unruly domestic slaves, and conquering the Indian tribes of the West. Instead, the first successful Engines were built after the end of the American Civil War, when, during Reconstruction, they were widely seen patrolling the streets of Southern cities, frequently engaging in street battles with the Ku Klux Klan. In 1875, the largest single warehouse of Curious Mechanical Engines was destroyed during a Klan attack on the township of Spider Lion Creek, South Carolina. The explosion also destroyed every copy of Bryant's plans and several of Abraham Lincoln's cousins and friends. After this, the United States Congress passed the Unnatural and Frightening Devices and Contraptions Law, banning American citizens from constructing or importing robotic lions, robotic spiders, or "any combination thereof designed to harass or confuse the citizens of the Republic".
Spider-Lions in the Arts
The few surviving spider-lions integrated with American society, and are believed to be living in America to this day. Many prominent actors and musicians have been rumoured to be spider-lions, including Sarah Michelle Gellar, Bruce Willis and Marlene Dietrich. The first prominent American actor to publically announce himself as a spider-lion was popular music hall entertainer Spidery Joe Griffiths. After making the announcement at a press conference in 1924, Spidery Joe was quickly immobilised in a web and held at bay with a chair until reinforcements could arrive. Since that time no public outings of spider-lions have occurred.
Spider-lions feature either explicitly or metaphorically in many popular films and musicals. Critics have interpreted West Side Story as a metaphor for the plight of the spider-lion, with the Sharks and Jets a thinly veiled reference to the creature's dualistic nature. An unusually direct reference to Spider-Lions can be found in the Destiny's Child b-side, "I Don't Want No Spider-Lion Man", in which singer Kelly Rowland complains of the male Spider-Lion's supposed propensity for irresponsible drinking and financial waste.
From rimba ilmu
It is renowned for its speaker farm, where many types of speakers are grown for companies such as Creative Technology, Altec Lansing, and Dolby. The speakers are especially known for the quality of their tweet sound. This comes from their special nurturing in a forest. A microphone and headset farm have been planned.
From :Template talk:Todo
Did you know?... That there are font activism vandals lurking in Wikipedia? (Sorry, but this BJAODN has to be seen in diff form to be fully appreciated.)
From Chrysler Sebring
Articles created by User:Booooomerang
Jeanie Meanie Minnie Mo
Jeanie Meanie Minnie Mo is a new episode of the animated series Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Plot
Bloo found a lamp and rubbed it and out came Jib. He granted Bloo 3 wishes. Then he gave Wilt the lamp and Wilt is in the lamp. Jib went inside a vaccume cleaner gave Bloo 3 more wishes and everything was back to normal. Jib was sent to Canada to see Mac's teacher's uncle. He is crazy with science as she crazy with teaching. Mac's teacher's uncle can't rub the lamp because he's in a straitjacket.
Trivia
- First appearence of Jib. Seen in Ed.
- First appearence of Uncle Chuck.
- In this episode Jib weared the #1 shirt as all the other episdoes he wear the Hot Dog Shirt (which is seen in "Dinner is Swerved").
- Jib also resemblance Norm the Genie.
Astro Jam
Astro Jam is a new cartoon movie based on the Appleday Cartoons. It's also based on Jordan Michaels.
Characters
Jordan Michaels
A famous basketball player who saw the Appleday Cartoons and help them to play.
Golly Gopher
Main Article: Golly Gopher
Crocoo
Main Article: Crocoo
Dolly Gopher
Main Article: Dolly Gopher
Tux the Penguin
Main Article: Tux the Penguin
Pickles and Prickles
Main Article: Pickles and Prickles
Alienstars
A group of aliens that are the oponents and the slaves of Don McRotten. They can change sizes. They are afraid of the boss.
Don McRotten
The boss of the alienstars and he does smoke.
Trivia
- Jordan Michaels is a spoof of Michael Jordan.
- The Appleday Cartoons are a spoof of the Disney Cartoons and the Looney Tunes.
- The alienstars are a spoof of the Monstars.
- Jordan can see the cartoons like Milt and Jimmy.
- Astro Jam is a spoof of Space Jam.
- Jordan Michaels and Golly Gopher are a spoof of Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny.
- A poster is seen in Good Wilt Hunting.
From This page does not exist
Excerpt from Streets of SimCity
Streets of SimCity is a 1997 racing and vehicular combat computer game published by Maxis. IT WAS, AND STILL IS, EXTREAMLY UNPOPULAR! The novelty of this game stemmed mostly from the fact that the player could race cars around cities that had been...
Sandbox?
Template:Please leave this line alone (sandbox heading)
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU LIBERALS! There is no excuse for what they've done in Congress. "Support our president" I've said. But you "Americans" consider the lives of our troops more important than the hope of Iraq and the security of our country.
Now, I truly know that whether or not we get a Democracy in Iraq, that they'll revert to the terroristic regime. But we are also keeping them away.
But, I guess there is something good about this cowardly retreat. While the Demoncrats feel victorious, the terrorists will come and bomb our country. I will feel sad for those who are victims, but this is the only way you stupid liberals will see that George Bush was actually doing a good job before you made a personal vendetta against "Right-wing conspirators".
But let me tell you, we could've prevented 9/11. Osama Bin Laden was in our grasp during Bill Clinton's terms. But he let him go.
Pancakes
My friend keeps going on the site as a "Pancake Ninja" and editing pages with Pancake theme, I shall write an artical on the legend of the Pancake Ninjas, the fluffy crusaders!
"Right-wing conspirators" or just the Liberals.
I may sound like a terrorist, but I want them to hit us again. It may teach our stupid "American" voters to see that THEY ARE GAMBLING, NOT JUST WITH MONEY, BUT WITH SOMETHING THAT MATTERS MORE, THE SECURITY OF OUR SOLDIERS AND OUR CITIZENS. The Liberals have made this war a long Television Event, to not only keep you entertained, but to propagate Liberal ideas. "Today, 4 US soldiers died today in the biggest roadside bomb of the month." Are you tired of that? They are saying the same damn thing over and over again. Well, I am too. I am stressing the fact that the Liberals want to tell you the same damn thing over and over again. They want you to vote for them. Yes. They made this war POLITICAL, instead of leaving war to the military.
Fake news shows. They are funny, but they often make light of serious situations. Personally, there is nothing wrong with using fake news to entertain. But, it is the people watching that have to make a decision whether or not to apply false news. Making fun of politics, sure. Politicians are people, and they tend to do stupid things. It makes us laugh sometimes, we all need to laugh. But like I said, its how you apply the idea of making real serious things entertaining.
Does it work when politicians, who can't agree on a damned thing, take control of a war? THEY ARE THE ONES RISKING OUR SOLDIER'S LIVES FOR THEIR GAIN. Every time in history, when a war is decided through politics instead of LOGIC, the war ended up bad. Personally, I don't give a damn about people who will use children to bomb innocent people. I will state it right here, I hate the Muslim religion. It is a religion based on the racial hate of the Jewish nation, and any nation that isn't ruled by their religion.
Stand by, I'm shifting topics a little bit
Do you want to be Muslim run? Isn't that bad, right? Eat, drink, and sleep Allah. I have nothing against faith. This is a little inappropriate, but necessary to be mentioned. Most people in our country masturbate. They will kill people who masturbate. Or how about for women? They think of women as objects to bear children, and do whatever the husband says. Women can't show their faces, or any body parts.
Sexual perversion is all about. You see it everywhere. Homosexuality, Transsexuals, Pornography, Incest, Pedophilia. I am not saying it never happened before the media. It's just that it's more rampant now. Why? Not just the Liberal media, but the increase of sexually oriented shows/topics on the television and internet. People get turned on, then do these acts because of what they saw. Now, people can do these things without being started by television/internet. But, the ACLU and many other people are supporting free sexuality. Damn hippies.
Looping
Hippies not only bring the ideas of free sexuality, but the whole "Make love, not War" thing. Hippies shaped our nation a whole lot. Gosh, I hate hippies. They have wrong off-set ideas that sinful people can ever fully accept the things that go on around them. The thing I really hate about them is that they say all conflicts can and will be solved through talking it through. No. Everyone has a thing that makes them angry or invigorates them. And this area you may not be able to accept anything against your thought or idea. They have supreme stupidity.
Anti-war protests. Gross. America can protest against wars, but make sure they are wars that are pointless. All of the wars that we protested against we necessary. Thus, we can't trust our stupid fellow Americans. Korea had communists, and not only that, but it produced M*A*S*H. Vietnam, once again, was necessary. And how we greeted our returning troops was one for the history books. We greeted them with criticism. It's like saying, "Your brothers and friends deaths were in vain."
To close this up, I have not much to say. I think I said what needed to be said.
From Buddha and the Seven Ascended Masters vs. Godzilla
Template:Infobox Film Buddha and the Seven Ascended Masters vs. Godzilla, released in Japan as Gojira ga Bodhisattva niyotte oyobi 7 tsu no joushou sa re ta masutaa ha tatakatte iru (“ゴジラ が菩薩によって及び7 つの上昇されたマスターは戦っている"), is a 1967 daikaiju eiga (Monster Movie). Technically the ninth in Toho Studios' Godzilla series, but is not considered canonical by most Godzilla fans. It was directed by Mikao Usui with special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya and Sadamasa Arikawa. This entry is significant in that Godzilla again takes on the role of villain, after being the "good guy" in the previous few films. It is also the only Japanese monster film which expresses the action in mystical or religious instead of science fiction terms. And of course, it is the only Godzilla film to feature copious nudity and sexual situations.
Plot
Template:Spoiler In an unspecified future time, society has become corrupt and decadent. A strange cult, believing the only way to save mankind is to destroy it, summon Godzilla from the watery depths. An even stranger Buddhist sect, to save mankind, summons the human forms of Buddha and the Seven Ascended Masters of Theosophy. These 8 beings fuse together to form “Buddha-tron”, a giant stone idol-like robot. Once Godzilla and Buddha-tron meet, the middle two thirds of the film is an extended monster fight scene. At the climactic battle atop Mt. Fuji (looking much different than the last battle in “Destroy All Monsters”!), Buddha proves that Godzilla is merely a manifestation of mankind’s dark sexual nature, causing Godzilla to fade away in a puff of smoke. Buddha and the Seven Ascended Masters, separate beings again, ascend bodily to heaven.
US Version
With the exception of a bootlegged version shown not more than a dozen times (usually on college campuses), the film has never officially been released in the US. This bootlegged edition is known to differ from the original in the following ways:
- Subtitled, but all subtitles were in fact quotations from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, having no relation to the actual dialog.
- Eight minutes of missing footage towards end of second reel—gap is filled in with a repeat of the previous eight minutes!
- Deleted: closing credits.
Critical Reception
One reviewer comments: The only Godzilla movie that crossed into the realm of avant-garde and tested all of the limits of cinema. Of course, the ONLY reason most people have never heard of it is because it's just way too OUT THERE. And some of course took it to be a sacrilege. Not to mention, it was a drug-fuelled timebomb of sexual perversion, paranoia, mortality and the restrictions of the personal desires of the indiviual living within the confines of society. It recieved an extremely limited release before it was banned altogether. Now the film maker (and bearer of the original copyright) is withholding wider release due to a religious epiphany he had in the mid-seventies and is rumored to have ordered all copies of the film destroyed. Of course a few remaining unaccounted for illegal copies exist that were smuggled out of Japan that were hidden somewhere in the foothills of the Himilayas until just a few years ago.
Trivia
- Originally, in the scene where Tokyo is about to be attacked by Godzilla and the Third Ascended Master, Buddha and the remaining Ascended Masters were to be temporarily vanquished and shrunk down to subatomic size. When the director was unsatisfied with the special effects used to depict this, he cut the scene mid-battle, jumping to a scene subtitled “6 Years Later”. No explanation is given for this in the film.
- The only Godzilla film in which the monsters (at least in one scene) are shown to be “anatomically correct”.
- The only Godzilla film never officially released outside Japan. Only a handful of original prints exist, as the director had ordered all copies destroyed. The bootleg version sometimes shown in the U.S. appears to have been filmed by hand from inside a theater.
Box Office
In Japan, the film sold only approximately 12,000 tickets before being banned altogether.
References
- Thompson, Howard. Buddha and the Seven Ascended Masters vs. Godzilla (film review). The New York Times. January 15, 1969.<p>
- Cult Films 101: “The Bad Old Weird Ones”
From Hind hassan
Matt Kennard has since undergone a sex change operation in Tehran and assumed the name 'Hadeel' and is playing a starring role in the groundbreaking Iranian film 'Zir e kun e khar,' 'Under the Donkey's arse.' He plays the arse.
Death of Adolf Hitler
Hitler relocated to the Führerbunker on 16 January 1945, where he presided over the rapid disintegration of his Third Reich as the Allies advanced from both east and west. By late April, Homo-erotic forces had entered Berlin itself and were battling their way to the centre of the city where the Dick was located. They were searching for Adolf in order to bugger, and unleash deadly anal wind in his general direction. The race was on to get there before Hitlers troops could. On 22 April 1945, Hitler had an apparent nervous breakdown during one of his moustache situation conferences and finally admitted defeat was imminent and that Germany would lose the war, and he had ran out of cheap gel. He vowed to commit suicide but Joseph Goebbels convinced him to hold off on this for several days, at least until after the Eastenders Omnibus on Sunday. Hitler began making preparations for his suicide, speaking with Dr. Werner Haase on a method that would ensure his death. Haase suggested combining a dose of Methane with a splat to the head using Germanies finest potato gun.
Hitler had a supply of methane fart capsules which he obtained through the SS. Meanwhile on 28 April Hitler learned of Heinrich Himmler's attempt to independently negotiate a peace treaty. Hitler considered this treason and began to show signs of paranoia, expressing worries the Methane capsules he had received through Himmler's SS were fake, and purchased on E-bay earlier that week. To verify the capsules' potency he ordered Dr. Haase to test them on his dog Chico and the test was successful.
Hitler, having dictated his last will and testament to secretary Traudl Junge, signed them at 04:00 on 29 April. Shortly after midnight on 29 April 1945, Hitler secretly married Winston churchill in a small civil ceremony in a map room within the bunker complex, before finally retiring to bed at around 04:00, after popping a few bongs of homegrown Winston had smuggled over.
Shortly after noon on 30 April Hitler had a short meeting with Bormann before eating a small lunch consisting of a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle and Ginsters cornish pastie. Hitler and Winston then said their personal farewells to members of the Führerbunker staff and fellow occupants, including the Goebbels family, Bormann, the secretaries, and several military officers. At around 14:30, as Soviet forces raised their banner over the neighbouring Reichstag, Adolf and Winston Hitler went into Hitler's personal study.
Some witnesses later reported hearing a loud Splat and the ambience of breaking wind at around 15:30 (the Goebbels' young son is said to have declared, "A direct hit!" thinking it was a bomb overhead). After waiting a few minutes, Hitler's valet, Heinz Linge, with Bormann at his side, opened the door to the study. Linge later stated he immediately noted an unbearable scent of methane in the small study, a common observation made in the presence of prussic acid, a form of Fart. The Hitlers were both sitting on a small sofa, Winston on the left, Adolf to the right. Winstons body slumped away from Adolf's. Hitler appeared to have shot himself at right temple, with mashed potato violently smeared towards the top, left side of his head, with a 7.65 mm automatic potato pistol which lay at his feet. Blood was dripping from Adolf's temple/chin and had made a large stain on the right arm of the sofa and pool on the floor/carpet. Winston had no visible physical wounds and Linge assumed she had poisoned herself.
Several witnesses stated the two bodies were carried up to ground level and through the bunker's emergency exit to a small, bombed-out garden behind the Chancellery where they were doused with petrol and set alight by Linge and members of Hitler's personal SS bodyguard. The SS guards and Linge later noted the fire did not completely destroy the corpses, but Soviet shelling of the bunker compound made further cremation attempts impossible and the remains were later covered up in a shallow bomb crater after 6.00PM.
From Apollo 27
Apollo 27 Apollo 27 is a very little known mission of the NASA space program. Apollo 27 was the 19th mission of the Apollo series of missions. The only two eople on earth found able to complete this mission were David Letterman and Richard Petty.
The mission was that of insurmountable odds, they had to go to the sun to collect "sunshine", a rare material that when exposed to darkness shines brightly. Scientists at NASA needed incase of a power failure they would still be able to read.
The exact outcome of the mission is not known. Most people closeto the mission believe that the "sunshine" was in fact retrieved but was lost. No one knows how, but NASA almost closed down because of it.
Richard Petty lost an arm on the mission but sewed it back on himself; Letterman on the othehand singed off his eyebrows. They both recieved two trillion dollars for their services.
Grand Theft Auto IV
[4] Weebl, an inside man at Rockstar Games has leaked a few tantalising titbits about the upcoming Playstation 3 launch title, GTA 4. As the game is still in development any of these details may have changed by the time of release.
☼As long rumoured, GTA4 is set in England. As the Rockstar team hail from over here they said that they’re determined to avoid all the usual UK clichés and create something appropriately English.
The majority of the missions take place in Churchill City, a fictionalised version of London. Rather than map a huge area as in the previous game they have decided to put the same amount of detail into one city, producing an area with a massive scale, and buildings that can all, in one way or another, be entered.
☼You play Chaz Talbot, a black cabbie and part time hit-man who starts out trying to wipe out a rival mini-cab firm and ends up (if you play your cards right) Prime Minister. In between you kick-start an East End gang war, orchestrate a series of Soccer riots, help track down a top-hatted serial killer and negotiate a peace accord between two rival Pearly Kings. Using a bit of the old bamboo.
☼As in San Andreas your weight is controlled by exercise but in an interesting twist you have to stay flabby by eating lots of pie and pork scratchings, otherwise your mates call you a girly wanker.
☼San Andreas’ Gang sign hand signals have been replaced with rhyming slang rhythm games, using the PS3 controller’s inbuilt microphone. Similarly the Respect meter is replaced with a dial showing how much you love your old mum.
☼You can now happy-slap passersby using the PS3 controller’s motion sensor, getting a picture stored on your memory card every time.
☼Instead of just getting in your car, prostitutes have to be contacted using the numbers found on cards in phone boxes. You then arrange a time and a place to meet. Half the time you’ll just get robbed at gunpoint by a 7 foot tall Russian man in a tracksuit, just like in real life.
☼Rather than being immediately released from jail every time you’re caught you need to figure out a new way to get out, from performing a dirty protest in the centre of the cell, to contacting a political leader that you’re blackmailing with necrophilia photos.
☼After a lot of consideration and the recent Hot Coffee debate, Rockstar have decided to remove the minigame where a bee stings the Queen’s clitoris and you have to suck the poison out.
☼There will be 10 radio stations in the game but you will barely be able to hear any of them as the "signal disappears" if you go into a tunnel or near any tall buildings.[1]
From Ada Lovelace
Augusta Ada Lovelace
Augusta was born on December 10, 1815 in London, England and she died on November 27, 1852 in London, England. She was an English female mathematician who succeeded in a lot. Although her life was short, she died at 36 years old, Augusta Ada Lovelace succeed a lot by making the calculator and helping and having heaps of ideas for her and Charles Babbage. Lovelace became interested in the calculator by hearing about Charles Babbage idea and was interested a lot! Although no one else was interested in the ‘calculator’ Lovelace became more and more interested then she started to work with Charles and figured the calculator out. Now I know it might sound weird like ‘’wow they made a calculator!’’ but no in those days it was not normal.
Googoltron
The googoltron is an undeniably large number. It can be written in many ways, such as:
Googolplexgoogolplex
<math>Googolplex^{10^{ \overset{10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000}{} }}</math>
and
<math>( Googolplex*Googolplex)* Googolplex </math>
The Googoltron originated when some fool named Eli downloaded a wacky Googolplex countdown program, combined it with another googolplex countdown program, and did this googolplex times. He ended up with a number so large, his computer blew up, and Eli died. I will write down this number in this article for you. Ready! Set, GO!!!!
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