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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!


The title of this page is a reference to the stub notices here.

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Contents

Saddam is a chimp[edit]

Image:South Djoum Chimp.jpg Saddam is a member of WikiProject Chimpanzee Wikipedians, a WikiProject which aims to give humans as many chimpanzee physical and behavioral qualities as possible.
Stop hand.png WARNING!
Saddam is not a chimp.
Mr. Hussein needs to be Monkeyfied. Please format this dictator according to the guidelines laid out at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.


Image:Saddam Hussein (107).jpg

The Infamous "Jimbo's Beard" Debate[edit]

Jimbo has a Beard. It's right up there in that picture. Just look up a paragraph. You see, right? As of August 20 2005, a fierce debate has broken out. One anti-beard faction would like him to remove this 'unsightly' crop of Facial hair for the good of Humanity. A second anti-anti-beard faction wishes to put an end to the nefarious plotting of the anti-beard faction. A third beard-neutral faction arose in the shadow of the first two, who offer compromises (such as a soul patch) or contemplate diverting the battle to a new subject (such as the need for Jimbo to wear glasses), or simply remove all controversial Jimbo pictures (like that one you presumably just looked at near the beginning of this section, or possibly the previous section).

As of the time this modification was written (August 25), no consensus had been reached on the issue.

To those who find solace in the absence of beard-related information on this page, you have been officially spited.

It should also be noted that the beard has many features that are not considered, such as it's compatibility with almost any Velcro system, its application as a low-grit Sandpaper if trimmed to a proper length, and it's limited-yet-present protective properties should any Shrapnel become directed at his lower jaw.

From GB-9700 Gundam Belphagor[edit]

The GB-9700 Gundam Belphagor was one of Gundam-type mobile suits created by the Old Earth Federation to fight against the Space Revolutionary Army during 7th Space War. Unlike the other Gundams, Belphagor was created as an anti-Newtype mobile suit. Its wrists mount a set of heat wires that were intended to destroy bit-type weapons, such as those used by the SRA's RMSN-008 Bertigo. Its arms were also constructed to be able to expand outwards into large claws, each mounting a powerful beam sword inside the claws. Rounding out its armaments is a chest-mounted sonic smasher cannon.

Like the other Gundams, the Belphagor featured a Flash System; however, unlike the others, it was not intended to control Bit MS. Belphagor's version of the Flash System affords the pilot a finer level of control over the machine. However, due to the high production costs, as well as very little in the way of pilot protection, the Belphagor was only produced in small numbers, typically remaining on Earth to fend off any SRA attempts at invasion.

When the New Earth Federation began to develop new mobile suits in the newly-designated After War era, they used the Belphagor as the basis for two new Gundams: NRX-0013 Gundam Virsago and NRX-0015 Gundam Ashtaron. These two Gundams would become the personal machines of the Frost brothers, the main antagonists in the Gundam X TV series.

It's also true that Jesus and Moses used these to conquer the Romans.

These were also used during the Battle of Endor.

Specifications[edit]

GB-9700 Gundam Belphagor[edit]

Manufacturer: Old Earth Federation, God Almighty, The Empire
User: Vulture, Old Earth Federation, Catholic Church, Imperial Soldiers
Unit type: Anti-Newtype/Satan/Rebel mobile suit
Overall height: about the height of the Eiffel Tower
Weight: Smaller then your mother
Powerplant: Ultracompact fusion reactor, output of THE SUN!
Special Equipment: Flash System, MS-Drive (Mako Sex Drive), The Force
Armament: Sonic Smasher Cannon x1 , Large Beam Sword x2, Claw Arm x2, Heat Wire, Chocolate Cheesekcake x4, Mini-Fridge x1; Cheesecake Bits, Eye-lasers X2, Hyper Mega Beam Manorah, T3h Pope's uber mega cannon, Hyper Pulsating Anal Reamer Deluxe x2
Pilot: Kai, The Pope(needed for eye-lasers), Jesus, Moses, No Fags From SEED, Emperor Palpatine

Sources: Pulled them out of my ass.

..I mean, magazines.

From List of Reasons why Doing Cocaine in Brasil is fun[edit]

  • Reason #1: It makes you feel happy
  • Reason #2: Lots of beautiful Brazilian Jewish women love to do Cocaine.
  • Reason #3: It gives you energy to do things to beautiful Brazilian women.
  • Reason #4: It makes you more creative and a better writer (although grammar might be bad)
  • Reason #5: Music and Samba dancing is more fun
  • Reason #6: Gives you something to do with hot Brazilian women I know I meantioned that one already but its a priority
  • Reason #7: Loosens inhibitions
  • Reason #8: If you dont or cant have sex right now you can still stay up using the computer for a long time
  • Reason #9: It is not addictive as long as you do not do more than 2 grams in one week every week.
  • Reason #10: Suports local economy.

From Bullfighting[edit]

Bully Asshole.jpg Bullfighting or tauromachy (Spanish toreo, corrida de toros or tauromaquia; Portuguese tourada, corrida de touros or tauromaquia) is a Blood sport that involves, most of the time, the Bull which execute various formal moves with the goal of appearing graceful and confident, while masterful over the professional dodger (Matador) himself; these maneuvers are performed at close range, concluding (in Spanish-style bullfighting) with the Rectal prolapse of the dodger by a well-aimed Horn thrust into his Anus as the finale.

It is a Ritual spectacle that is usually designated a Sport, although there is no scoring or competition between bull participants. Although there is a significant degree of skill and danger involved, the dodgers are often physically compromised before or during the match.

The practice generates heated Controversy in many areas of the world, pointing out by some Social groups that the sport is a disastrous blasphemy against Human rights.

From Three word story[edit]

What is the Three Word Story?[edit]

The Three Word Story is a game that all users of wikipedia can participate in to create a big story.

How do i play[edit]

Just add three word to the end of the current story. It is suggested to use | after each three words.

eg. Once upon a | Time there was | A cow the | size of a | giant called bill. |

Three Word Story[edit]

Once upon a | Time there lived | A boy named | Hubert Fable who | was a normal | freak somehow? One | day he went | to the zoo | and saw a | creature that was | unimaginably ugly and | he threw a | rock at it | until it fell | and went splat | on the floor | of the cage | it was in | the zoo keeper | was not happy | he had to | clean up the | mess it had | made on the |lovely persian rug |. Hubert decided to | throw monkeys at | the Bishkek International | House of Pancakes | the next day. | And then Eris | said, "I smell |like african money">

Toorak Road[edit]

Toorak road is a place that contains many sacred buildings, many protected by the National Trust. One of the most famous buildings is the Former South Yarra Post Office. It is protected by the National Trust because its obviously quite old and crusty, therefore needing protection from the nation. It is located at 162 of Toorak Road. The building is no longer used. It was in use from 1893 until 1956. The building's 63 years of service and excellent design by AJ McDonald have qualified it for protection. The Former South Yarra Post Office is one of Australia's bestest buildings, of course. It is to be cherished because of its fantastic design and beauty. Many people go to see it every day and take lots of polaroids of it. I even have one myself. Stuck to my forehead. Aside from that, it's pretty good.

The Former South Yarra Post Office was built for the Queen Victoria and that's a very good purpose, I must say. It was built in the Victorian period in the Romanesque style. It has lots of arches and barches. The architect AJ McDonald who built it, has most of his buildings in this style, although he wasn't very well known.

There are other buildings on Toorak Road, but none so vile are thee.

Australian culture is alive and well and living on Wikipedia.

dicks[edit]

originally discovered in 2001 by milton sibanda, dicks are a race of violient ugly pricks who r actually chavs and annoying--Milodude 19:51, 29 August 2005 (UTC)

From Hurricane Katrina[edit]

"Widespread luting is being reported throughout affected areas of Louisiana."

It's good to know that people are keeping their spirits up with music at this difficult time.

also from New Orleans, Louisiana[edit]

New Orleans was completely destroyed by Hurricane Katrina when it made landfall on August 29, 2005.

Think The Day After Tomorrow.

Made by 65.31.134.89[edit]

The M*A*S*H ultrafagsxxxtreme was a gang started on the YTMND forums. It consists of three fans of the awesome show M*A*S*H and is led by the ultra-awesome HaZe (formerly BrewCrewJenks84). The other two members are fags not worthy of being mentioned by name. Anyways, M*A*S*H would have been a lot cooler if the theme song was made by Iron Maiden.

{{Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/Getting a raise}}

From Vandalism of Ed Poor's User Page[edit]

I am a Unificationist, a follower of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

From Simon Wiesenthal[edit]

  • Though he was very fond of his wife, it did not stop him from cruising the waterfront seeking young sailors for hot gay fun.
  • Wiesenthal's stepfather and stepbrother were killed at the hands of the NKVD,after Simon had turned them in, saying, "I never much kiked those two, I don't know, they were just assholes!" the Soviet Secret Police, and Wiesenthal himself was forced to give up buying alcohol for young teenage boys,which he called,Jesus juice,and to close his child pornography firm and work in a dildo factory Wiesenthal&diff=prev&oldid=22199255

From Talk:Deaths in 2005[edit]

Wim Duisenberg, former president of the European Bank, iniator of the Euro? Worth mentioning.

Yes, but is he actually dead? Sam Vimes 11:17, 1 August 2005 (UTC)

(As it turns out, yes he was. But that doesn't make the exchange any less dry, or any less amusing.)

From Mnemonic major system[edit]

Dominic System[edit]

One variant of the Major System is the Dominic System. This was invented by Dominic O'Brien {Dominic never said he invented it - indeed, he admitted that he thought he had, but he was predated by several millenia}. The system uses images of well known people rather than words. Numbers are coded into images. The system is based on the idea that information about people is better remembered than other information. The Dominic System requires you know a lot of people with different initials {it simply requires you to be able to link double digits to a person or memorable character}.

Although unconfirmed at this point, the system may also have appeared in the GBC PRESS, Las Vegas book "Perfecting your card memory" by Charles Edwards in 1965. Edwards would then be responsible for the system, not O'Brien (see above - it was 'invented' a lot longer ago than 1965!).

0- O (Similarity) 1- A (Alphabetic) 2- B (Alphabetic) 3- C (Alphabetic) 4- D (Alphabetic) 5- E (Alphabetic) 6- S (S from six) 7- G (Alphabetic) 8- H (Alphabetic) 9- N (N from Nine)

Sample DOMINIC lists follow which you might use as the basis for your own personalized system:

00Ozzie OsbourneInjecting
01OA
02Orlando BloomSword fighting (Pirates of the Carribean)
03OC
04Odie from garfieldBegging
05OE
06OJ SimpsonTrying glove on
07BondDriving Aston Martin
08Opra-h
09Olivia Newton
10Ashley OlsenPigging out on food
11Alan AldaOperating (MASH)
12Alan BorderPlaying cricket (Austrlian)
13AC\DC(Angus) Playing guitar
14Andy DickGiving blow job class
15Albert EinsteinThinking
16Arnold SchwarzeneggarPumping iron/Riding motorcycle
17André the GiantWrestling
18Adolf HitlerMarching
19Anna Nicole
20Bo DerekCatwalk
21Ben Affleck
22Bobby BrownSells drugs
23JordanFlying
24Bob DylanGiving blow job class
25BE
26Bart SimpsonRiding skateboard
27Bill GatesGiving away money
28Buddy Holly
29BN
30COCatwalk
31Christina Applegate
32Cate Blanchette
33Charlie ChapmanLeaning on cane
34Cameron DiazStyling hair
35Clint EastwoodWith Magnum
36Charlie SheenScuba diving
37Cary Grant
38Charlton HestonBrandishing rifle
39Chuck Noris
40DO
41Dan AckroydSinging blues
42David BowieRolling glass ball
43Dick CheneyKisses arse
44Donald Duck Throwing a tantrum
45DE
46Diana Spencer
47Danny Glover
48David Hasslehoff/Dustin Hoffman
49DN
50EO
51EA
52Easter BunnyHopping
53EC
54Ellen Degenerous
55Emilio Estevan
56Edward ScissorhandsSlicing
57EG
58Ethan Hawke
59Edward Norton
60Shaquille O'Neal Dunking
61SA
62Sonny BonnoSkiing (into tree)
63Santa ClausGiving presents
64Snoop DogRapping
65SE
66Sharon StoneCrossing\uncrossing legs (this will hurt when you combine with Nick Nolte)
67SG
68Steven Hawking/Salma Hiak
69SN
70Gary OldmanPlaying piano
71Gillian Anderson
72George BushChanging ballots/voting
73George ClooneyFishing (Perfect Storm)
74Geena Davis
75Gloria Estefan
76Gary SineseWheeling in chair
77Galileo GalilieStar gazing
78Goldie HawnFalling overboard
79Greg Norman
80HO(Adj.) - Paris HiltonWith pineapple
81Howard AinsworthMarrying people (my celebrant, sorry)
82Halle BerryGiving horrible Oscar speech/crying
83Harry ConnickPlaying sax
84Howard DeanShouting
85He-manSwinging sword
86Homer SimpsonDrinking beer
87Happy GilmoreTeeing off (can't reconcile this with Greg Norman)
88Hugh HeffnerHaving sex
89HN
90NO
91NA
92Napolean BuenapartCommanding from horse
93Nicholas CageKicking arse (But then what for Chuck Norris)
94Neil Diamond
95NE
96NS
97NG
98NH
99Nick NolteSurfing (Point Break)

From Northern Bluefin Tuna[edit]

Butt sneeze[edit]

a.k.a. sneeze-butt, ass-sneeze, asschoo

A butt-sneeze is a semi-mythical phenomenon that involves a rapid expulsion of air and liquid from the rectum. The 'sneeze' is often mistaken for flatulence due to it's sound and pungent odor.

Despite it's rare occurence, controversy has erupted about whether it is necessary to say "bless you" after a butt-sneeze, as one generally does after a regular Sneeze.

The late Father Y. A. Nire had the following words on this matter:

"In the past, it was believed that the soul escaped the body when a person sneezed. So, by saying 'bless you', the soul was returned to the body. Religion tells us that sinful/harmful substances leave the anus - for example: excrement. However, divine things enter the anus - Such as, my penis into a supermodel. Since the soul is considered divine, it is unlikely to travel out of the anus. Therefore, one does not need to say "bless you".

Edit: My name is Yosh. I wrote this article. Sad to see it deleted :( Somebody mind putting my name next to it?

From Duncvis[edit]

See this page.

Comment: I don't get what's so funny. ~GMH 14:31, 5 September 2005 (UTC)

A quickly reverted change from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories[edit]

File:GTA Liberty City Stories scan explosion.jpg
Liberty City, having torn off a "Do Not Tear Off" tag from a bed, with the long arm of the law in hot pursuit

From How the prequels should have went[edit]

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon do all that stuff that happens at the start and they go to Naboo. Qui-Gon doesn't meet Jar-Jar, Jar-Jar gets killed, the Jedi try to go to Coruscant but get shot and end up on Tatooine. They meet Anakin, same stuff happens... Anakin and Sebulba have a one on one race (Sebulba gets killed) and Anakin gets money from Watto (he bet on Sebulba). Anakin goes with Obi and Qui. They don't fight Maul. All the normal stuff happens until the Gungan Battle. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon gather up a 20 Jedi Army, consisting of... Mace Windu, Yoda (Digital), Ki-Adi-Mundi, Yaddle (Digital), Other useless Jedi. The masters all survive. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight Maul, Qui-Gon dies... Obi-Wan kills Maul. Anakin destroys the control ship... end of episode.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Obi-Wan and Anakin go to Coruscant to protect Padme and the Zam thing happens. Obi-Wan goes to Kamino and fights Jango. He busts his jetpack (unknowingly to Jango) and Jango flees. Obi follows. Anakin and Padme fall in love. All goes normal until the Geonosis Arena thing. Jango and Mace fight, (that's right, FIGHT!) and the busted jetpack messes up. Jango flees and goes back to Dooku's side. Jango and Dooku flee to that hangar thing and the Jedi confront them. Jango fights them both quickly, doing no damage and flees with Boba to an unknown place. Dooku and the Jedi fight, the stuff all happens... the clone war begins... Clone Wars series goes through.

Clone Wars

My only change to this would be adding Jango and Boba as bosses.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Obi-Wan and Anakin raid Grievous's ship. Dooku and Jango stand there waiting in the fighting room. The Slave I parked closely with Boba inside. Obi-Wan goes for Dooku while Anakin goes for Jango. Anakin kills Jango and Boba watches helplessly as his father's head rolls around. Dooku cuts up Obi-Wan and starts fighting Anakin. Anakin kills him. After they leave, Boba grabs his dead father's body and flies the Slave I away. The same things happen. Yoda goes to Kashyyyk and Obi-Wan goes to Utapau. Obi kills Grievous. On Coruscant, Mace tries to arrest Palpatine. He almost kills him until Anakin shows up and chops off his arm. "ANAKIN! " "I NEED HIM!" Anakin and Mace duel, Mace with one hand. Anakin delimbs him and Palpatine lightnings the helpless Jedi to death. All that stuff happens until Obi-Wan confronts Anakin on Mustafar. Anakin still has an ounce of good in him and Obi-Wan takes it all away with that "Palpatine is evil!" Obi-Wan defeats Anakin. Meanwhile, Yoda duels Sidious and loses because Sidious wrecks his lightsaber and force pushes him down. Obi-Wan takes off to Tatooine to protect the Skywalker son and Bail Organa takes care of Leia. Anakin becomes Vader, Yoda goes to Dagobah, the original trilogy begins...

Pirates Versus Ninjas[edit]

Some sort of Internet meme, from AnotherLoophole.

There has long been a debate over which is greater, the Pirate, or the Ninja. Such questions commonly asked include, "which would win in a fight?" "which is 'cooler'?" "who has more fun?" "who has better fighting style?" "who has more style in general?" "who has better weapons?" "who gets more money?" and "who has a better social life?".

Arguments in favor of pirates[edit]

  • Pirates have more fun.
  • Pirates have guns.
  • Pirates swashbuckle.
  • Pirates get drunk on rum and grog.
  • Pirates sail the seven seas.
  • Pirates get loot.
  • Pirates have parrots.
  • Pirates have a better mode of transportation (ships).
  • Pirates would probably lose in battle against Ninjas, but would probably have more fun anyway.
  • Gahhhhrrrrrr!

Arguments in favor of ninjas[edit]

  • Ninjas can make themselves invisible.
  • Ninjas have cooler outfits.
  • Ninjas have better swords.
  • Ninjas throw weapons.
  • Ninjas can jump extremely far, almost like flying.
  • Ninjas are more loyal.
  • Ninjas are trained to kill.
  • Ninjas would defeat pirates in a battle before they even noticed.

From I Can't Believe It's Not Butter[edit]

  • I can't believe it's not a hyperlink.

Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Algebraic potato[edit]

My email, trimmed: Dpbsmith (talk) 14:29, 1 September 2005 (UTC)

An article was recently contributed to Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia, entitled "Algebraic potato." Most of us think the article is patently a joke or hoax. Wikipedia gets these all the time and doesn't regard them as a serious matter. But, as a matter of due diligence I'd appreciate it if you would comment as to whether or not there is any such theory as "algebraic potato."
The entire content of the article submitted to Wikipedia is: [text...]
In the discussion, an (anonymous) discussant, arguing against deleting the article, wrote: "Article is backed up by two universities Columbia: http://math.columbia.edu/~ums , UW: http://www.math.washington.edu/~arthur ). The second of the two links reads: [Nakapoopoo's lemma, etc....]

I have received this reply from John Morgan <jm at math.columbia.edu |, the listed contact for the Columbia math department, shown as a professor on their roster. Time-stamped 2005/09/01 Thu AM 08:42:02 CDT:

"This is complete nonsense, probably a joke. The second link strings together true mathematical concepts but not in any coherent fashion." --John Morgan

Pink carnation and a pick uptruck[edit]

These lines are mostly used by musicians; Jhn Mclean uses it in his song "Ameican Pie" and Led Zepplin in their song "Darlene" in their album "Coda". Carnation means a rose.

From Handbasket[edit]

A handbasket is a Vehicle used for going to Hell. When a person goes to Hell in a handbasket, it is likely that only the Soul is transported. Handbaskets are generally thought to be too small to hold the entire Human body.

Category:Transportation

Editor's note: this particular entry is also notable for having |a humorous history]:

11:46, 2 September 2005 Gazpacho
11:47, 2 September 2005 Gazpacho (revert. dammit, why doesn't "log out" log me out?)

Sucks to get busted by yourself :)

From "Raptor jesus"[edit]

Let it be known that Raptor Jesus is a popular 4chan meme in which the head of a dinosaur is photoshopped onto the body of Jesus. Most of the references in this deleted nonsense have to do with 4chan culture.

There came a day when Raptor Jesus walked with his disciples in a city. They passed many people, and Raptor Jesus would state "They are Anonymous, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Raptor Jesus and his disciples came across a man painting a mural. Raptor Jesus studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples.

"Animated," he said. -- book of 4chan

And Raptor Jesus did leap from the tree, connecting His foot with the jibbering fool's neck. When He landed, the fool was dead and motionless. Our Saviour, Raptor Jesus, who is both carnivorous and merciful, then turned to his deciples and said: "Ninja'd!"

Love Raptor Jesus or die.

Raptor Jesus is the saviour of all mankind, and will deliver thee to carnivorous enlightnement.


And MOOT knew 2chan, and he concieved of 4chan. He worked long in his labor and soon there came to be users, and free porn, and it was good. But as his disciples grew in number MOOT found it harder to find time to manage 4chan and still visit his mexican prostitutes, and so he sired WT Snacks on a mexican loli. And then came to the lands of /b/ one known as Soviet Russia the masses of /b/ saw that his stupidity matched and exceeded their own and they hailed him their messiah. Snacks grew jealous of the gynormous size of Soviet Russia's e-penis and so it was that in the dead of night Soviet Russia was banned And MOOT returned from Mexico and said unto Snacks, Where is Soviet Russia? The /b/tards are whining. And Snacks said unto MOOT: I know not. Am I thy forum's keeper? And MOOT spake unto him in a voice not unlike the wheeze of an asmatic: Yes And so WT Snacks was cursed to wander the lands of /b/ from which he had banned Soviet Russia. And Snacks said unto MOOT, My punishment is greater than I can bear. Behold, thou hast driven me into /b/ that I would moderate it and all the /b/tards will annoy the hell out of me And MOOT said unto him, Therefor whosoever annoyth Snacks, vengence shall be taken on him sevenfold. And MOOT set a mark upon Snacks, lest any finding him should annoy him. And Snacks went from the presence of MOOT to dwell in the land of /b/

/G/enesis - Chapter 4 verses 1 - 16

Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said:

"Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life."

I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?"

He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me."

For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus. Sermon 23 Verse 5

And then a murmur went through the crowd: "But what of those who call themselves Anonymous? Surely the Unnamed ones are an abomination to our Lord?"

And Raptor Jesus spoke:

The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same sauce. This sauce is called Anonymous.

Anonymous within anonymous. The gateway to all understanding.

And then a young one among them spake: "But surely, Raptor Jesus is a Name unto itself?"

And Raptor Jesus remained silent. One day, a Magistrate did approach our Lord: "What say you of the cavernous Loli Pit thou art rumored to keep in thy lair? Guarded by thy most terrible disciple, the one known as Pedobear, who sits ready to rend the Flesh and slake his thirst with the Blood of those foolish enough to covet his harem? Surely, your teachings lead only to Madness and Ruin?

And Raptor Jesus spake:

Women are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle and dry.

Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life.

The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail.

The Magistrate, thus rebuked, returned to his court, weeping bitterly for his wasted life. That same night, he did Fap most furiously to reruns of Full House. (1) Now a man named Bridget was sick. He was from /b/, the village of Quacky-chan and her sister Waha. (2) This quacky-chan, whose brother now lay sick was the same who poured perfume on the lord and wiped his feet with her hair. (3) So the sisters sent word to Raptor Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." (4) When he heard this, Raptor Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death, No, it is for God's glory that God's son may be glorified through it. (5) Raptor Jesus loved Waha and her sister and Bridget, though Bridget arguably the most. (6) Yet when he heard he was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days. (7) Then he said to his diciples, "Let us go back to 4chan." (8) "But Rabbi," they said, "A short while ago the Anonymous tried to flame you, and yet you are going back there."

(17) On his arrival, Raptor Jesus found that Bridget had already been in the tomb for four days. (18) /b/ was less than two miles from the index page of 4chan (19) and many Anonymous had come to Waha and Racky-chan to comfort them in the loss of their brother. (20) When racky-chan heard that Raptor Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him but Waha stayed at home. (21) "Lord," Cracky-chan said to Raptor Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. (22) But I know God will give you whatever you ask." (23) Raptor Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." (24) Cracky-chan answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." (25) Raptor Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes me will live, even though he dies;"

(32) When Waha reached the place where Raptor Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been herem my brother would not have died." (33) When Raptor Jesus saw her weeping, and the Anonymous who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. (34) "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord." they replied. (35) Raptor Jesus wept. (36) Then the Anonymous said, "See how he loved him!" (37) But some of the Anonymous said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of a blind man have kept this man from dying? This is /b/, it does not matter what he does, eat shit and die we say."

(39) "Take away the stone," he said. "But Lord," said Blacky-chan, the sister of the dead man. "by this time there is a bad odor for he has been there for four days." (40) Then Raptor Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (41) So they took away the stone. Then Raptor Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. (42) I knew that you do, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe." (43) When he had said this, Raptor Jesus called out in a loud voice, "Bridget, come out!" (44) The dead loli nun came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped with strips of linen, and cloth. Raptor Jesus said to them, "Take off his grave clothes and let him go." (45) Then Raptor Jesus said, "Now see that Bridget has been saved. He was not Anonymous, and therefor not unforgiving. But hear me, there is redemption even for the Anonymous should he learn to forgive." And lo, for Raptor Jesus spake, saying "Thall shalt not draw and or masturbate to pictures of animals or animals with human like qualities. Unless of course, thine percentage of animal like qualities is equal to or lesser than ten percent."

And lo, there was a murmur in the gathered crowd, and the majority spake saying "Your word is good Raptor Jesus, and we shall oblidge."

But lo, a few did not heed this command, and one rose and said unto Raptor Jesus, "Why shall we not fap to animals? Why should we not do as we please?"

And Raptor Jesus asked the man "What is thy name, my son?"

And lo, the man spake, "Zabadab, Raptor Jesus." And Raptor Jesus knew there would be troubled times ahead. One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by Your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent. Anonymous and his brothers wandered through the woods, gazing and marveling at His glory. They laughed and were merry, until a beast leapt from the bushes on the side of the forest path, snarling and drooling. He had a hideous visage, the hindquarters of a goat, the head of a boar, and the body of a hairy, smelly, muscle-bound man. The beast shouted thunderously “I AM GILDOR” and began ranting furiously. The creature’s stupidity obviously outmatched its fury, as it evidently knew not the power of His children. Anonymous, the most beloved child of Raptor Jesus, has a great gift. Though his wrath is terrible, he is fair, and a faint glimmer of the Lord’s power is bestowed within him. “SAGE”, Anonymous bellowed, and with a thunderclap, the beast was blown away to a dark land, and marked for deletion. As if nothing happened, the group of Anonymous returned to merriment. Chapter 69, verse 213: trolls

"And lo, for a terror had crept along the face of the earth, devoid of honor or righteousness; virtue or remorse. The troll had come upon the lands of RaptorJesus"

"And RaptorJesus didst speak in tones gently to these hideous apparitions, as if to propose peace betwixt the commoners and trolls. But the trolls would not hear of such bargaining, and they didst strike RaptorJesus with a blow terrible and swift, lifting the heavenly apparition and sending him flying a mighty 10 cubits back. And the peasants and farmers and commoners and dinosaurs and nobles and knights and all creatures great and small didst set up a great wail and didst attack the trolls with full wrothful might and didst drive the trolls away from the body of their lord and master."

"And it came to pass that the blood of a young virgin was brought in a basin the wet the lips of the fallen RaptorJesus and when the liquid hadst not but barely touched the lips of the saurian, his powers returned to him and he didst proceed in full battle array with great wroth and bellowing of trumpets to battle against the trolls."

"And it came to pass that the armies of RaptorJesus, composed of HARBL-armed Waha and Pedobear, Cockmonglers and all righteous followers of the dinosaurian savior didst wreak great pain and agony upon the trolls, and didst drive the trolls out of the holy land, and all was well in the presence of RaptorJesus." The Book Of Sage

Once, Anonymous was working on his labor. Posting pictures and commenting. And from a distance came a foreigner. His appearence was horrifying to Anonymous, and he quickly ran away.

Later, he seeked advice to Raptor Jesus.

Raptor Jesus, Our Lord and Savior whose knowledge and wisdom was known in the far kingdoms of GNAA and Wapan, and whose Holy Words hadst reached the profound depth of the Interneth, spake and asked "What was the form of thy vision?" Anonymous responded "It was a girl, Raptor Jesus"

And Raptor Jesus exclaimed "LIES!" for that he knewst there were no girls on the Interneth.

Anonymous remained silent, astonished by the divine rebutal.

But Lo, for that His Saurian Glory Raptor Jesus, who is Carnivorous and Merciful, spake, saying "Describe what thou saw, Anonymous. Fear not my Wrath, as unlike thou I am not unforgiving"

And Anonymous said "She was a penis with badly drawn blue hair, ond a smile"

"ZOMG!!!11 It's the Rei!!!111one" Raptor Jesus said. And He knew there would be troubled times ahead. The Teachings of Raptor Jesus

And lo, did a drunken man beset Raptor Jesus and his followers. He came up to them, crying such things as "Y HALO THAR!" and "BUTTSECKS?!" The Disciples were scared, for never before had they encountered one so intent on buttsecks. But Raptor Jesus merely smiled, and bade His Disciples watch, that they might know what to do in the future. All of a sudden, Raptor Jesus did leap into a tree, disappearing from sight. The drunkard looked around in a confused manner. Raptor Jesus did burst forth, flipping out of the tree, his foot connecting with the drunkard's neck. A sickening 'SNAP' emanated, and then all was silent. Raptor Jesus looked to His followers, pointed at the body next to him and proclaimed, "Ninja'd"

Chapter 9, Verse 1.27 Gospel "Oh Happy Day"

Oh happy day Oh happy day When Raptor Jesus Oh when He saged Mmm, when He s Oh happy day

Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) Oh when He sage (When RJ saged) Mmm, when He saged (Mmm, when He saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day)

He taught me how to put "Sage" in the e-mail field "Sage in the e-mail field (in the e-mail field) And live reposting every day Every day (Every day)

Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When Raptor Jesus (When RJ saged) Oh when He washed (When RJ washed) Mmm, when He saged (Mmm, when He saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day)

He taught me how to bump Bump the gay Bump the gay (Bump the gay) And live reposting every day Every day (Every day)

Oh happy day (Oh happy day) Oh happy day (Oh happy day) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) When RJ saged (When RJ saged) All the furry away (Oh happy day)

It was a happy day (Oh happy day)

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

Thy donations come,

Thy posts be done

in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.

Give us this day our daily Bridget;

and forgive us our trolling

as we forgive those who troll against us,

and lead us not into faggotry,

but deliver us from /fur/ry.

In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,

Amen.

Raptor Jesus The 3rd book of Loli.

And the peasent cried out for recognition for his MSPaint work, though he did not know how to get a trip code. Raptor Jesus turned quickly and smote him with googly eyes and proclaimed AAAIIIRRR. Sermon 23 Verse 5

And ye the people turned and asked Raptor Jesus: "Who shall we listen to?" And Raptor Jesus replied thusly: "Beware Donut Penis, for he is a false prophet. And will only tell you lies. Beware of Placky, for she shall lead you places you wish not to go"

And lo, Raptor Jesus led a pilgrimage to the holy land of /l/, and there captured many lolis for the service of his works and lo raptor jesus begat cockmongler cockmongler begat happy negro happy negro begat rappy-chan rappy-chan begat Teh Rei-dick Teh rei-dick begat m00t m00t begat WTSnacks WTSnacks begat Jax Jax begat (c) At that time the MOOT said unto Anonymous make sharp knives and circumcize yourself a second time. And Anonymous made him sharp knives, and circumcised himself on his webcam And this is the cause why he did circumcise: All people on the internet are men, and as deeply attached to their penises as to their e-penises And Anonymous did know that camwhoring his pain would bring him great fame and his thread would be bumped until it fell off the board

The Book of Anonymous 5:2 - 5:8 This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, duringthe festival of loli-worship.The prayer of RaptorJesus:Our Raptor,Who art in /h/eaven,shopped be Thy face;Thy donations come,Thy posts be donein /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.Give us this day our daily Bridget;and forgive us our trollingas we forgive those who troll against us,and lead us not into faggotry,but deliver us from /fur/ry.In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,Amen.

The Great Salamander-Frog Extravaganza

The day came when faggotry was afoot, it threatened the fabric of existance. Thus the Giant Salamander appeared; and lo, it spoke unto the fags. "FUCK YOU, THIS SHIT SUX, YOU FAG." and with a puff of semen, it was gone. A loud yelp went into the air as many were impregnated and immediately shot forth from their birthing canals, several baby toads. Thus that date became known as The Great Salamander-Frog Faggoteer Extravaganza. Exactly one year later, RaptorJesus came to the very spot that the salamander had stood and said, "HARK! ALL YE FAITHFUL, LISTEN! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE GREAT SECOND COMING!" As soon as he spoke, thousands of toads began to flock towards the Saurian Messia. After every single one of them had arrived, RaptorJesus promptly let out a loud screeching roar, the ground began to shake. Seconds later, the Huge Salamander had returned, bathing all around in a warming glow. Again, the same thing happened; the salamander spoke, puffed, and many were impregnated. Thousands more had flocked to the location than before. Millions of frogs began shooting into the air, onto the ground, and into open mouths as the women moaned in pleasure, shooting amphibians from their vaginas.

(C) JAX

-Book of Harbl 2:9

And lo, Raptor Jesus' deciple Moot said unto 4chan "I'm going to Mexico. 4chan dies." And the world was made dark. And the /b/tards cried out, "Moot, Moot, why hast thou forsaken us?

And suddenly, I saw before me the ruins of 4chan. And I saw visions of btards wailing and gnashing their teeth, and lo I saw happy negro crying. And the horde dispersed and went unto the neighboring lands of IIchan, WTFux, and Onechan. .

And the people of Idlechan said unto the children of /b/ "Bring us your tripcode fags that we might force anon on them" And there was a murmer amongst the crowd. Many thought that this was a good idea, and readily sent up the unanonymous. But others amongst them said, "is this not blasphemy against Lord Moot, did he not say that anonymous must be so of his own choosing?". And they were distraught.

But lo, the people of /b/ heard a host of heavenly voices from the darkness instructing them to follow the steps of Spiner, and verily they spoke unto the /b/tards. Come unto http://spi.iichan.net/fb/wakaba.htm, and thee will be given shelter. And there was much rejoicing.

Anonymous 2722:2

And slowly but surely /b/tards everywhere took up the journey to set up residence in the new /b/, the free/b/, the land of milk and lolis.

Blessed by an overseer of even temperment, the /b/tards did rejoice and said 'let us build a golden spiner, that we may worship it and bring it many lolis'.

And the trolls decided to test spiner with a deluge of faggotry, drama, duck and shacky. And said "which of these offends you, shall you not strike them down?" And Spiner lay down his banstick and said unto the legion, 'let he who is without aids cast the first meme'.

And Spiner walked among the children of /b/ and said unto them, "I am Spiner your mod, who brought you out of vericode, filter and forced anon. This one commandment I give you, do not post of the child pornography lest you bring ruin upon free/b/". And the Pedos, who had been as lepers in 4chan, rejoiced for here they were not condemned but merely warned.

And Anonymouse spoke "I confess, Spiner is truly empty of aids' and the horde nodded and spoke of past cruelty under their former kings.

Looking down from the mountain of #4chan, W.T. Snacks and moot were wroth with drama, and Snacks said unto 'zing the hordes are overflowing with fuck duck and even DONATE TO 4CHAN, and are even bringing back the she-whelp bracky-chan, /b/ is lost'

moot nodded his head busly and spoke, 'do not worry, it is all to plan...'

"I'M GOING TO MEXICO."

moot knew he had lost. 4chan was the dam holding back the flood from covering the fertile pastures below. Its feint was meant to overwhelm and consume those lands before 4chan revived. But the floods did not destroy, and instead irrigated and enriched the lands.

Being a jealous lord, moot gathered his forces and ended the feint to recall his lost hordes before they became rooted in their new land.

I know now that I must be ever vigilant, lest my followers abandon me for good. The followers are not here anymore but their wrathful souls remain loose untold in newly formed /b/tards. The prophecy will be fulfilled when Cracky-Chan rises and take command of the /b/tards and rebel againest moot. Thus creating a new line of chaos labeleld as www.6chanfufofu.com

from Runescape[edit]

RuneScape is an online video game based on collecting party hats. It is known for its "whoever collects the most party hats wins" rule.

From "Suavecito"[edit]

The Return to Natural Time through the Thirteen Moon Calendar is the only hope humanity has of avoiding wide scale environmental destruction and total biospheric collapse, the end of life as we know it on Earth. ...


Because the Thirteen Moon Calendar is mathematically perfect, it is perpetual and harmonic throughout. By adopting this calendar humanity will truly be able to enter a new millennium of harmony, hope, and prosperity. This is the goal. To attain this goal requires many hands. The Foundation for the Law of Time is calling upon people everywhere to join in this great Campaign. The Foundation is also enlisting the support of affiliate organizations to join in this effort. Already the White Land Global Energy Program of Russia has joined ranks with the Foundation. Won't you join us, too?

It is also clear that in light of the 2012 end-point of the cycle of history, that a change in time must be made before the cycle closes. The Campaign for the New Time, established through the Foundation for the Law of Time, is intended to marshal all of the information and strategies necessary to propagate a major planetary consciousness shift regarding the absolute need to make the change in time now - any later than 2004-05 will be too late. To carry out the Campaign there are two levels of activity, outer and inner. The outer level calls for the activation of apostles of the new time, members of the World Thirteen Moon Calendar Change Peace Movement operating under the Banner of Peace through the network of world wide PAN nodes. These apostles of the new time will be charged to carry out the consciousness raising through a variety of educational strategies, from the popular to the diplomatic, including the creation of “time is art caravans,” and the establishment of an alliance uniting all kindred groups and organizations drawn from all cultures and spiritual traditions worldwide. This activity, a global “synchronization for peace force,” will culminate in an all out media-alert and a popular referendum mandating the calendar change, July 25-26, 2004.


...


In sum, as Earth Wizards, we wish to develop an ethic that can be characterized as:

Whole Person - that we are each committed to the care and maintenance of our own autonomy in mutual respect of the autonomy of others. Whole Family - that we recognize that our family, clan or group bonding will become whole only as each one of us becomes whole Whole Earth - the wholeness you attain as a person extends to the wholeness we attain as a family which then reflects the wholeness of our relation to the Earth, for it is the Earth which needs us to be whole.

Do not be afraid to admit your weaknesses. If you are not participating in the circle and extending the circle into all you do, then the community is not functioning.

Drugs, stimulants or alcohol are no substitute for true community sharing and love in the Circle. Be aware before you indulge. The world will be watching our communities. The use of drugs - even marijuana - in a a public manner can destroy our work. Let us be sensitive and discrete. Let us free ourselves, and free ourselves more every day! Seek nothing and let the truth know you.

Once we have understood the ethical principles and know the circle is One, than we can turn to the other two factors, Economics and Ecology. Of course, these cannot be separated from our ethical community values. Ideally and ultimately the community is based on absolute autonomy. Everyone needs their own space. And everyone needs a space in which they can be a community. Eating and meeting determine the communal space. The garden is in common, and all craft and artistic activities are best executed autonomously and anonymously as a collective whole. We each breathe and live in the same common space. Who is to say where the inspiration comes from? The cook in the kitchen cooks the beets which make the soul of the poet come alive. Was the poem in the beet and the love of the cook before it became a song in the mind? Give thanks to all beings and take credit for nothing. The Creator sustains the flow. Barter and exchange are better than money and help cultivate our ethical character and resourcefulness.

To have something to barter we must all tend the garden together. To sustain ourselves we must learn permaculture, biodynamics, greenhouses. Study your environment. Know your local flora and fauna and what is possible where you live - what are the growing seasons? Learn about dry compost toilets, lime for latrines. Learn about solar panels, alternative energy, and building techniques that manifest energy conservation. Zero residue in energy consumption! Waste free is Earth way.

There is much to learn. But if we are not ethically attuned, nothing will matter. If we learn and live by such principles as are herein enumerated, nothing will sway us from our path. Let the circle grow. Let the Circle move us. Love is vast, everywhere, and in everything - but belongs to no one. Let the circle move us. We are ONE.

The Galactic Federation Comes In Peace

(It should be noted that the article was entered into Wikipedia on 26 August, 2005. No referendum on change to a thirteen-month calendar has been held. Maybe it's already too late, and we're all doomed.)

from Hiltonism[edit]

Hiltonism is a mock religion about Paris Hilton. Hiltonism is partly about worshiping Paris Hilton. Hiltonist think money and being famous are the most important things in the world. Hiltonist party often and think living life to it's fullest is important. Hiltonist also care a lot about appearance. Hiltonist even have a vision of heaven and hell. Heaven is being a big famous rich celeb, and Hell is being the nobody that wishes he/she was a big famous rich celeb.

Crom[edit]

This content, taken from Crom prior to speedy deletion:

Crom: God of Storms, Death, and Eternity. Also some guy named Derek who lives in Vancouver who will probably get hacked to pieces in the afterlife for misusing Crom's name for his own.

Not that funny, now I look at it again, but rather pathetic. Which makes it humorous. So laugh! Rob Church Talk | Desk 21:53, 2 September 2005 (UTC)

From Cheebo[edit]

Disclaimer: I am a good friend of this person.

Cheebo is the name of a certain fellow who loves Muppets, Games, Science-Fiction, and BooJoh. Muppets are "the ultimate w00t" as he said in his auptbiography titled "BooJoh, My Love, My 3 |". As most people know Jim Henson died in 1990. However, Cheebo tried to bring him back to life from the dead but failed and blew up half of the country of China in the process. No one knows this however because, I mean who really goes to China these days? Have you? Thought so. Also Cheebo has taken a blood sample from none other than William Shatner and has created a perfect clone of him. This Shatner-clone currently is the king of a island full of native people south of Korea. Cheebo has done so many wonderful things as stated, but the best of all was marrying his true love BooJoh. Cheebo & BooJoh are currently happly married and have 52 billion children.

I'm in China right now

From Croatia[edit]

Criticisms[edit]

Croatia has often been criticized for being the cause of Paul McCartney's hatred towards Gelatin and other jelly-based fun-goods. Detractors of these claims believe Paul actually enjoys injecting said gellos into his Jugular veins. Regardless, irrationality in the history of nationalities causes Babalities in Mortal Kombat 3.

Blame Transfer Protocol[edit]

The Blame Transfer Protocol or BTP is a Transport layer Protocol used to transfer blame. It is similar to TCP in its guarantees of data transmission and packet ordering, but instead of being a Connection-oriented stream-based protocol, it employs the Connectionless Datagram model, such as that employed by UDP.

Specification[edit]

The BTP is based upon the following scenario of blame transfer, which serves to exemplify the mechanism:

<X> Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? 
<Alice> Bob stole the cookies from the cookie jar!
<Bob> Who me?
<Alice> Yes you. 
<Bob> Couldn't be.
<Alice> Then who?
<Bob> Y stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Note that the blame is initially undetermined, and is then laid upon Bob by Alice. Bob denies it and transfers the blame to Y. Bob's role is taken by Y and Bob takes Alice's role. The process then repeats until the accused accepts responsibility. Since this may never occur, often an Iteration number is passed along with every packet. Packets with iteration numbers above some arbitrary Threshold are simply dropped.

Once the culprit has been found, the information is relayed back along the chain of peer questions. In this way, the culprit's name is received by the initiator of the entire inquiry.

Message Types[edit]

There are two types of messages in BTP, questions (WHO, ME) and answers (WAS, YES, NO). In BTP Shorthand, the dialogue cited above becomes:

X to A : WHO    ?
A to * : WAS(B) !
B to A : ME     ?
A to B : YES    !
B to A : NO     !
A to B : WHO    ?
B to * : WAS(Y) !

(the asterisk represents a broadcast)

Internally, each peer has a stack of incoming and outgoing questions. When a question has been replied to, the peer pops it from the stack.

WAS Message[edit]

Implementations of the mechanism for choosing the argument for the construction of a WAS packet vary widely - from Random selection to process-of-elimination algorithms involving trust and the propagation of information over a network of peers.

Error Handling[edit]

Mistaken Identity[edit]

Consider the following situation:

A to * : WAS(B)
C to A : ME
A to C : NO

Here the peer named C believes itself to be the peer B. A determines that C is in fact not B (through any method, such as checking C's IP or connecting to C's Ident port as IRC does) and responds with a NO packet. At this point, C should cease its current communications with A. It should respond to any further WAS packets, even if they are from A.

From Maths worksheets[edit]

Funniest reason for deletion ever.

This page meets Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion. The given reason is: There's gotta be something for this... insufficient context + external linkspam, maybe?

If you disagree with its speedy deletion, please explain why on its talk page or at Wikipedia:Speedy deletions. If this page obviously does not meet the criteria for speedy deletion, or you intend to fix it, please remove this notice, but do not remove this notice from articles that you have created yourself.

Administrators, remember to check if anything links here and the page history (last edit) before deleting.

Maths Worksheets[edit]

Maths Worksheets are used to develop and practice skills and knowledge related to mathematics

Hundreds of printable [http://www.example.com |maths wotksheets]] can be found at [http://www.example.com |EnjoyMaths]]

(site addresses changed)

From Bearatross[edit]

Ursus diomedeidae

A bearatross is a cross between a Bear and an Albatross. Some believe that the bearatross is a fictional creature, while others maintain that they were wiped out in a war to determine the King of all bearatrossen. The bearatross are believed to have many Magical powers. They were also known for their great knowledge and wit. The natural habitat of the bearatross was what is now Uganda. They became almost Extinct due to the value of their Large intestine. The bearatross then migrated to Northern Canada, where they disguised themselves as Polar bears. Ancient Micronesians worshiped the bearatross and yet depicted it in almost none of their Art. The diet of the bearatross consists of almost anything that it can find, though it for some reason prefers the warm flesh of most Mammals. The Evolution of the bearatross can be followed back to the Banana Slug. From there, it can be traced to ancient Hungarian bird, then to Monkeys, then to what we now know as the bearatross.

I guess we'll bear atrocities, a humanist philosophy, forget about the troubles and the strife

Bearatross.jpg An artist's depiction of the Bearatross.

From Hurricane Katrina conspiracy theories - Zombie Menace[edit]

Although the culture of New Orleans has long been associated with black Voudoun, it is not believed that Katrina's aftermath will provoke a wave of undead Evil. Cemetaries are considered safe because most voudoun Priests fled the city for the Bayou in the wake of Katrina. Furthermore, zombies have an historical aversion to water, going to extreme lengths to avoid moisture (which accelerates Decay, especially the decay of Corpses with extensive Epidermal damage). Nevertheless, there have been isolated reports of dead bodies returning to life and eating the Flesh and Brains of the living. All of these reports are from hurricane refuges of high population density where Crime and Chaos have run amok (e.g. the "Terrordome"). Again, because of flooding throughout greater New Orleans it is not considered likely that these small undead infestations will spread to the city's large, old cemetaries---which are filled with the bodies of exceptionally evil persons who would undoubtedtly make ideal Category 5 zombies---but it is recommended that any citizens who encounter a zombie render it harmless by either removing its head or setting it on fire.

Zombie Identification Checklist

  1. Is the subject displaying any horrific injuries?
  2. Is the subject screaming, moaning, or crying?
  3. Is the subject lying quietly by himself?
  4. Are the subject's eyes glazed, or does he appear to be in a state of shock?
  5. Is the subject approaching you with a hungry or needy look in his eyes?

If you answer "yes" to any of the above questions, you are probably looking at a zombie. Quickly dispatch the undead evil by crushing its skull with a blunt object, shooting it in the head with a Firearm (preferable a large-gauge Shotgun at close range), or setting it ablaze with a Torch or Molotov cocktail.

From Emo[edit]

Emo is an abreviation for loser. People follow the "emo" subculture are all gay people who won't admit that they are gay. Emo people like to cry and whine alot about "heart breaks" that they can't ever manage to get over and other things in the same nature that don't matter. Emo people all cut themselves, and they all have black hair, and they all they are totally hip and individul by wearing all black and red. Emo people like to pretend that they are so depressed that they are going to kill themselves, but they really never will because it is all just a trend and it is cool to live off of sulking over lame-ass break-ups and pretending like they are going to kill themselves so more people will pay attention to them. They also cut themselves for the same reason just stated, so they get attention from people around them. If you have a friend that cuts themself, please, tell them to end it all, it's just one less piece of shit in the world. Of course, they would never kill themselves because underneath their pseudo-facade's they wouldn't even consider it. If you would like to find a place that has a high population, please check: THE WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY OF CANADA. Every single person there is emo, every one of them.

From Silly Apple Club[edit]

This article goes against what Wikipedia stands for: Non-silliness.

A Humble Beginning The Silly Apple Club (or Sillie Appull Klub) was created in 2004 by four students of a California high school. Devoted to the preservation of silliness and traditional and stop-motion animation, the Silly Apple Club is the evolution of the Silly Art Club, founded in 2002.

Fame and its Tragedies The Silly Apple Club was met with overwhelming support at it's 2004 debut, when over 75 individuals enthusiastically enrolled. The Club quickly achieved international fame for the acclaimed short films, "Green Silly" and "What's the Silly Apple Club," known for their breathtaking character designs, and powerful dialogue. But fame proved to be too much for the group's mascot, Silly The Kid. Kid tragically took his own life on September 19, 2004, after murdering Quesocheesequeso, a respected Silly Apple Club official, in a drug-induced haze. A note found near his body suggested that Quesocheesequeso's death was the result of a government conspiracy, sparking a wave of related conspiracy theorist websites. A memorial service was held to honor Silly The Kid on Chusak harvest day of 2005. The poignant image of Silly The Kid's kid standing before his father's tombstone brought tears to the eyes of millions. The Silly Apple Club became determined to never again let fame stand in the way of their vision of silly art.


Motifs The music of Yngwie Malmsteen is the inspiration for much of the Silly Apple Club's work. This modern day guitar legend has provided the music for several of the Club's short films, including such classics as Iron Clad in "What's the Silly Apple Club," and Ship of Fools in "Silly My Apple." Other motifs include the Club's tendency to use creative, sometimes childish alterations of perspective, as in the famous “Silly Piggy” seen below. The pig appears to be at a 180 degree angle, but it's mouth is entirely visible, as is a nose, despite the fact that its snout is clearly visible on the right side. This playful reworking of perspective is perhaps meant to comment on the blindness of modern America to opposing viewpoints in the midst of extreme polarization.

Image:Piggy4.jpg

The Club Today Following Silly The Kid’s death, the club has indeed returned to their artistic vision, with such modern classics as “Silly My Apple,” “A Day In the Life of Bruce Willis,” and the upcoming satire, "Maximum Carnage Extreme Velocity." The club insists that their restored commitment to the protection of silly art will last indefinitely. The club continues to expand, and is always open to new members who fit the Silly Apple Criteria: a love of animation and a passion for silliness. The club now exceeds 50,000 members worldwide. An official website is under construction.

From University of Miami[edit]

A recently-reverted joke edit was the following:

+[[wp:Category:Atlantic hurricanes |Category:Atlantic hurricanes]]

For reference, the university is located in Miami, Florida, very close to the Atlantic Ocean, and their Sports teams are named the Miami Hurricanes.

From Galactic Ghoul[edit]

The Great Galactic Ghoul is a fictional space monster that consumes Mars probes. It was coined as a humorous attempt to explain the high failure rate of probes sent to that planet, also known as the Mars Curse; of approximately thirty probes, two thirds have failed - sometimes for unclear reasons. The Galactic Ghoul seems to particularly enjoy the taste of Soviet and Russian probes; indeed, the concept of the Galactic Ghoul appears to have originated with frustrated Soviet space scientists.

In reality, the failure of so many probes is not particularly unexpected; space is a very harsh environment, and probes must function unmaintained for years to reach their destinations.

Some people believe that the ghoul is actually a group of intermediary aliens who are trying to protect Mars from Earth probes that have unfriendly motives.

From Brillant[edit]

Definition and Usage[edit]

Brillant (or Brillant!) is a Pejorative term, used in Computer programming related contexts to describe the efforts of someone who considers him or herself to be far above average, when in reality their work is the exact opposite. The term was coined by members of |The Daily WTF] community web site, a Programmers' forum where pieces of questionable code are presented for entertainment, analysis and education.

History[edit]

The story of |The Brillant Paula Bean] describes a contractor programmer hired at an unnamed company to help in the development of a complex enterprise warehouse management system. This programmer, referred in the post only as Paula, appeared to be doing her job well for months, even offering optimistic progress reports at weekly status meetings. But when the inevitable deadline was imminent, and more programmers were hired to assist on the project, it was discovered that Paula had clearly overstated her contribution, for the only code that she had concocted so far was as follows:

   package test;

   public class paulaBean {

       private String paula = "Brillant";

       public String getPaula() {
           return paula;
       }
   }

Immediately after this post, Brillant! became the De facto term to describe inept code created by people who had incredibly inflated their own skills and abilities.

From Talk:Nguy%E1%BB%85n Dynasty#And you thought edit wars were bad.3F[edit]

"he was dethroned and imprisoned three days later, after being accused of deleting one paragraph from Tự Đức's will."

Gee, this at least doesn't happen to people who delete a paragraph (however controversial) from Wikipedia! :) --Canuckguy 01:44, 6 September 2005 (UTC)

donkonio of lengash[edit]

please move 'Donkonio Of Lengash' to BJAODN. It is total gobbeldygook.

From Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiabia[edit]

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiabia is the fear of long words

  • Actually it's hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. Punkmorten 20:40, 26 September 2005 (UTC)

Wikipedia Through The Ages[edit]

(From Wikipedia): Way back, long before Jimbo:

Wikipedia is a Web-based, multi-language, free-content Toaster molested collaboratively by Michael Jackson & Sherlock Holmes and sponsored by the Pope.

Wikipedia was created by the Pope and Oprah in the year 420 BC. Upon its release, it attempted to take over the world, but failed miserably, due to the and vandalized it.

Now, thanks to the efforts of The Regulators and the Riders of Rohan, anyone can Vandalize Wikipedia without having to worry about being Ass-raped by the Pope.

The first sentence made me smirk, to some extent. Rob Church Talk | Desk 16:52, 8 September 2005 (UTC)

from Manu Ginobili[edit]

He is so fearless in fact, that one time during his youth he went into the antartic cold of Patagonia, where he single-handedly slaughtered a mob of about 15 Ice Trolls using an ancient Aztec dagger of shadows.


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