There's some vandalism Wikipedia can't buy. For everything else, there's Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense.

This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.

Archives

Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67u Best picks 1 2 3 4 5 Helpdesk 1 | Unblock 1 Special collections

If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Reference to famous MasterCard advertising slogan.

From Kidz Bop

File:KidzBopMock.JPG

The cover for the first Kidz Bop album.

From Chocolate-coated raisin

Many refer to them as foul pellets of despondence and shame. They have no place in polite society.

Squirrels

Squirrels are trying to take over the world. They sacrifice themselves by chewing up wires and causing blackouts. At this time squirrel spys steal important documents. They have been known to attack and kill people in large numbers. The SEARSFT (Squirrel Elimination And Removal Special Forces Team) is secretly hiding these attacks and fighting squirrels. Most squirrel killings are covered up and refered to as chainsaw murders. Many members of the SEARSFT are working under cover as 7th grade math teachers.

Me Og

Introduction

Me Og, also known as Og or Ogg was a Cro-Magnon who was the leading inventor, scientist and mathematician of his day. He lived approximately 30,000 years ago in what is now Europe, and was responsible for many discoveries. Og's mate, Ugga, developed a numerical system which used a rudimentary form of base thirty.

The names Me Og and Ugga (or Og or Ogg) have been interpreted, translated, and transliterated through the study of linguistics and cryptography, by means of cave paintings, which also served as an early alphabet. ( See http://www.historyofscience.com/G2I/docs/timeline/index.shtml; Notation dans les gravures du Paléelithique Supérieur, Alexander Marshack, 1970; The Roots of Civilization, Alexander Marshack, 1972; Evolutionary words of prehistoric origin: deciphering prehistoric proto-writing to discover Ogg and Ugga, Foster, Wen, and Toth, J. Computational Linguistics, 2005; http://home.sou.edu/~morganm/cavepaint.html, Houghton Mifflin web page, http://www.rundetaarn.dk/engelsk/observatorium/archaeoas.htm, Hugh Thurston, Early Astronomy, Springer Verlag New York 1994, Astronomisk tidsskrift nr. 4/1986, 2/1987 og 2/1994, Jens Vellev, Danske solure fra middelalderen, Hikuin, 6/1980, Eden and Lloyd, The book of Sun-dials, Bell & sons, 1900; E. Laumann Jørgensen, Stjerner, Sten og Stænger, Arkæo-Astronomi i Danmark, Hernov 1994.,Hu and Wen, Asian prehistory,1981.)

Cave Paintings as Early Writing

One of the most surprising findings was a cave in France at Chauvet-Pont-D'Arc. In 1994, Jean Chauvet discovered this cave with amazingly sophisticated cave paintings estimated to be 31,000 years old (Zoogoer, Smithsonian, July-August, 1997). Cave paintings include animals that were not on the menu. There are drawings of various dangerous beasts. There is a link between these cave paintings and early pictographic writing. Furthermore, hundreds of other caves paintings have been discovered. (see Archeology magazine, When the Reindeer-Hunters came to Cro-Magnon, Odyssey, May, 2004, pp. 36- 39). Moreover, the Cro-Magnon cave of Les Eyzies the city today regarded as the once upon a time capital of pre-history in France.

Figures of birds in this important Cro-Magnon cave are apparently the precursor of the hieroglyph that became the letter a or aleph. In addition to living creatures are geometric figures (Zoogoer, Smithsonian, July-August, 1997) that constitute an early form of writing, time-keeping, and computation. Until recently, it appeared that “preliterate” cave artists developed drawing and writing 15,000 to 25,000 years ago in places like Lascaux, France. Now, it looks as if proto-writing goes back much further. On a sandstone mountain and on surrounding stones, scientists discovered thousands of small, carved circles. These circles were also found on button-like stones which average 1.2 inches in diameter. All of these circles date from more than 60,000 years ago. Archaeologists calculate that it would have taken 900 days for a person working alone eight hours per day to carve the buttons. The circles must have been “of enormous cultural importance” to those who carved them (Wilford, 1996, Sheridan, Drawing, Writing, and the New Literacy, 1997).

Cro-Magnon Speech, Words, and Names

Furthermore, a well-formed larynx developed in Cro-Magnons approximately nearly 300,000 years ago, allowing Cro-Magnons to speak using vowel sounds like ah, ee and oo as well as consonents such as g and m. Most experts believe that speech developed gradually.Anatomist Jeffrey Laitman of Johns Hopkins University studied the development and position of the human larynx by examining the base of hominid skulls. Laitman discovered that Australopithecus had vocal tracts much like living apes. He was unable to study the base of Homo habilis crania as they are fragmentary, but Homo erectus had a larynx with an equivalent position to that of an 8-year-old modern child. He beleives that it was after 300,000 years ago, with the appearance of archaic Homosapiens, that the larynx assumed its modern form and position, leading to a rich range of sounds. (M. Fagan, The Journey From Eden, London: Thames and Hudson, 1990, p. 87; The Lapedo Child, THE Szeleta Men, and the Convergence to Leading Cultures, B. Lukács, President of the Matter Evolution Subcommittee of the Geonomic Scientific Committee of the Hungarian Academy of Sciences, CRIP RMKI H-1525 Bp. 114. Pf. 49., Budapest, Hungary)

Therefore, from the cave paintings found, using well-established techniques, the pictures form words m-ee,ah-g, and oo-g-ah which we transliterate as Me Og and Ugga respectively. Since drawings of a man and a woman were found near these words, they are almost certainly their names.

In addition, cave drawings show the man creating and using tools; a primitve bow, an early arrow, and a wheel in the form of a nearly perfect circle. The man is sometimes depicted as a human-beast hybrid. Of course, he used the atlatl but probably did not invent it, since the atlatl has been used for at least 40, 000 years (see Ingenious Machines web site). The bone calculator has been found. See the references under the article history of mathematics, section on prehistory.

Cave Paintings Tell About a Culture

Maturity was at age thirteen years, as indicated by bone calculators using base thirty for numbers of days that passed, when Me Og went through his rite of passage, which included feats of strength, hunting skill demonstrated by killing European cave lion (Panthera leo), display of pain tolerance, ability to read cave paintings in a chant, followed by a party with tribal music, dance, and food. Cave paintings of European lions and of the traditions of the day have been found (Hu, European and Asian Prehistory,1973, , Wen, Asian Prehistory and Watt, European Prehistory, Archaeology ).

Me Og was responsible for the invention of the bow, the modern arrow, an improved sling, the bone calculator, and a nearly perfect circular wheel, according to the story told by cave paintings.

Og, Ugga, and Base-Thirty Arithmetic

Many female Cro-Magnons kept records of their monthly cycles (again, see article on history of mathematics and the references under pre-history). However, it was Ugga who suggested to Og that they build a bone calculator. Bones of animals that had been used for food and skins were joined by sinew. Using her monthly periodic cycle as a base, Ugga suggested to Og that the bones be arranged so that the rotation of the first bone through thirty turns would then move the next bone, then the next, and the next. Consequently, they were able to compute values up to 30-cubed, that is, 30 to the third power, or 27,000.

Communication

"Humans are symbol-making creatures. We communicate by symbols -- growls and grunts, hand signals and drawings painted on cave walls in pre-historic times. Later we developed languages, associating sounds with ideas. Eventually Homo Sapiens developed writing, perhaps first symbols scratched on rocks, then written more permanently on tablets, papyrus, and paper. Today we transmit symbols -- coded digital signals of voice, graphics, video and data -- around the world at close to the speed of light." From: Bell Labs Celebrates 50 years of Information Theory.

List of misleading brand names of food

This is a list of misleading brand names of food. It includes commercial names of processed foods that are fancifully comparative, and possibly horrifying if taken at face value.

• Bac~os (official spelling): so far from being real bacon that they're actually kosher
• Barnum's Animal Crackers: monkeys and elephants will eat them, but marketed for young human beings
• Bounty Bar: a very small British candy bar
• Chick-o-Stick: not a stick of chicken, or chicken on a stick, but a candy bar
• Chicken of the Sea: canned tuna
• Chicken in a Biscuit: not made of chickens inside of biscuits, but rather crackers with chicken flavoring
• Chock full o'Nuts (official capitalization): no nuts
• Coca-Cola: modern formula contains neither cocaine nor kola nut
• Cream Crackers: contain no cream, and they're pale brown
• Freddo Frogs: chocolate frogs (and not chocolate-coated, either)
• Grape-nuts: no grapes, no nuts
• Golden Delicious apples: not made of gold
• Goldfish: little biscuits/crackers in a goldfish shape
• Tic Tacs: No ticks, no tacks

See also

• List of misleading food names

How could they leave out the self-ridiculed Apple Jacks? WAvegetarian ^(talk) (email) ^(contribs) 21:39, 15 January 2006 (UTC)

Not to mention Krispy Kreme doughnuts. No wonder this thing got deleted! MrBook 07:26, 6 February 2006 (UTC)

From Château-Thierry

History

Also, it was reported someone was once write a coherent sentence on a peice of paper, but it ended up riddled with spelling mistakes as it was written by a goat.

Town motto: WE BREED GOATS BECAUSE WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO DO

Geography

Château-Thierry is situated on the Marne River.

But does anyone really care?

From Neopian Times

No-Nos ...

• the phrase "DIE!" or "Prepare to die!" (Unless Kass does it, then it's cool.)

("Kass" refers to the villain Lord Kass --AySz88^-^ 21:32, 16 January 2006 (UTC))

The Liberal Moroccan Party

The Liberal Moroccan Party (French: Parti Marocain Libéral) is a political party in Morocco. It is quite liberal. At the last legislative elections, 27 September 2002, the party won 3 out of 325 seats.

(Deleted the second sentence. Left the rest).

From Adolf Hitler

Hitler was actually well-known for his excellent samba dancing. He was said to be the life of parties when he busted a move on the dance floor.

Strings McPickens

Strings McPickens was an American folk hero and banjo player, renowned for his skill on the instrument and his acts as a vigilante of the Southern States.

Early Years

Due to the fact that his parents were obsessive record keepers, as were most of the McPickenses of Salt Lick, Kentucky, we know for certain that Strings was born at precisely 7:53 AM on the morning of February 2, 1822, in Salt Lick. Young Strings was given a banjo on his first birthday, and reportedly played a burning hot riff the second it was placed in his hands.

After this point, the legend of Strings McPickens, the "Boy Bluegrass Prodigy" spread around the state of Kentucky. Unfortunately for the young McPickens, his underprotective parents were short on money and sold him to a traveling circus at the age of six. Strings was required to play banjo music for the traveling entourage, and it is here that he honed his Banjo-skills and his sense for justice. Strings also became an apprentice to a Japanese immigrant ninja, and by the age of 15, was a fully trained ninja, schooled in the art of assassination by fists and 12-bar bluegrass scales. It is of note that he also developed an affinity for honey-marmalade sandwiches.

Strings McPickens eventually became the star of the traveling circus, drawing crowds from all parts of Kentucky. A young Abraham Lincoln declared Strings "a damn good show, and worth the money too."

A Sense of Justice

At the age of 18, Strings McPickens quit the circus and returned to his beloved home of Salt Lick, only to find that the local river had been diverted by an agricultural conglomerate to provide for an upstate canal. Needless to say, Strings was enraged. He turned to his only solace, the banjo. He played his favorite tune, "Straw Doll Hootenanny" and suddenly, the refrain of the song caused a sort of sonic boom, which destroyed the dam on the river and sent it back flowing on its original path.

The townspeople, in a state of torpor from the lack of water, rejoiced. Strings was hailed as the local hero, and when asked why he chose to play the banjo, said "I guess it was my overwhelming sense of justice."

Strings realized at this point that he needed to spread the news about water waste, and set out once again from Salt Lick to other parts of the country that were building canals and dams and the like.

1840-1865

In the antebellum years, Strings McPickens traveled extensively in the region from Kentucky to Alabama, proclaiming the need for water preservation with "righteous good banjo stylin'" as was said by the Mobile Bugle-Reporter in an article dated 15 October 1844. Strings also composed heavily during this time (including such gems as "Crawfish Creek Reel", "H to the Ootenanny" and "Square Dance In My Pants"), and was so prolific that James K. Polk invited McPickens to the White House in 1845 for a jam in the Oval Office.

In 1853, a series of incidents in which water was stolen from wells in Knox County, Tennessee prompted Strings to travel there, banjo in hand, to stop something which was, according to a letter he wrote, "totally not cool." McPickens arrived there, but was outsmarted by the fiendish villains; he was tricked into giving his banjo away in a local saloon, thus being left weaponless. The water stealers thought they had found Strings' achilles heel, however Strings was born with a deformity that left him without heels, thus this was an impossibility. Also, Strings was trained in the arts of ninja, and succeeded in taking out all of the water stealers, and resupplied the wells, on the stipulation that water not be wasted.

However, tension was spreading throughout the country, and it wasn't about water; it was about States' Rights. As the American Civil War broke out, Strings McPickens transferred to Canada. There, he met John MacDonald, future leader of Canada, at a tavern in Ottowa. They shared a few drinks and then parted ways. After becoming slightly inebriated, McPickens fell into a wooden crate full of shipments to Great Britain. It wasn't until 3 months later that McPickens awoke in a warehouse in Plymouth. Unsure of what country he was in, Strings began plucking the banjo and was greeted with jeers, one of which was along the lines of: "You crazy bloke, it's 1864 and we're already into the Strokes."

However, not all Britons were part of the country's trendy music scene. Queen Victoria took a liking to Strings' bluegrass banjo, and invited him to Buckingham Palace to be knighted and presented with a his famous BANJO OF GOLD. He then returned to America, just in time to be the opening act for Grant and Lee at Appomattox.

Growing Fame & The Bear Incident

After the Civil War, Strings decided it was time for a cross country tour, which he performed in from 1866-7. Bluegrass was at it's height of popularity, and Strings was never better.

In 1868, Strings decided he would quit touring, and live a life of relaxation and leisure on a Mississippi steamboat until the end of his days.

Unfortunately, it was also in 1868 that the infamous Bear Uprising took place in western North Carolina, eventually coming to the point where hordes of angry bears would raid frontier villages. The governor of North Carolina, remembering from grade school days that a grizzly was always a sucker for a little bit o' bluegrass, summoned Strings to save his state.

The trail led to the King of the Bears, one Harley IronClaw, who bided his time in a cave deep in the Great Smokey Mountains. McPickens followed a trail of honey and sandwich crusts to the gigantic cave of the mammoth bear, and entered. He played a few echoey banjo chords, but the bear had outsmarted him; he had worn earplugs. Of course, Strings couldn't play ninjas with a bear, so he was at a loss.

Strings was lucky that he hadn't eaten lunch that day; it was still in his pocket, a honey marmalade sandwich. Bears love marmalade, but the only thing they love more than marmalade is honey. The King of the Bears smelled the delicious nectar, and made a mess of the sandwich. His earplugs fell out, and Strings let loose a stunning bluegrass medley, thereby stunning the bear.

Strings took the captured bear all the way back to the Governor's Mansion in Raleigh. Unfortunately, Stings hadn't killed the massive bear, but had rather sedated it. It came to life in the Governor's office, and went on an angry rampage, killing the beloved Governor and two of his aids. The bear left the building and escaped into the horizon.

Strings was reviled in the press, despite his stunning display of cunning in capturing the bear. He retreated ashamedly to his estate in Southern Kentucky, swilling in an abundance of bourbons and whiskeys. Stings made no contacts with the outside world for 10 years, beginning in 1868, though there were reports of banjos echoing through the forests around his home.

In 1878 Strings was summoned to north Texas to spread bluegrass among the Native Americans there, as a part of a process of cultural assimilation. While most tribes reacted poorly to this, the Comanches readily adopted Strings songs as part of their religious canon, and named their reservation after him. Stings was beginning to see an upward turn in his life, and throughout the 1880s was asked to perform several concerts and guest speaking gigs.

At his heart, however, was justice, and throught the period Strings saved several local towns from the encroachment of big business.

Decline And Fall

By the 1890s, bluegrass was fast being replaced by ragtime as the music of choice. Stings McPickens was regularly shunned by the press and his own statesmen. His actions for saving the towns of South Kentucky were beginning to be largely ignored, and his BANJO OF GOLD was becoming slightly out of tune.

By 1900, the advent of a new folk hero, Maple-Leaf Mortimer, had completed the eclipse of Strings McPickens. The last public appearance Strings made was on April 15, 1901 at the Bowling Green Municipal City Hall playing the old-time favorite, "Straw Doll Hootenanny." After this, McPickens walked into the sunset, never to be seen again.

It has been said that Strings stumbled upon the Fountain of Youth in north Alabama, or that rock and roll acted as a sort of rejuvenation for Strings, and that he lives on, whether in body or through spirit. We may never know.

While most people acknowledge that Strings McPickens may be gone for good, if you ask any old-timer, they'll tell you, if you listen very closely, deep in the Kentucky wood at midnight on certain June evenings, you might just here the plaintive refrains of a lonely banjo, playing "Straw Doll Hootenanny." And maybe, just maybe, that's good old Strings McPickens, still pickin' away at them thar banjo.

Dick Cheney

Cheney occassionaly requires the use of a cane for walking. He uses the cane to summon souls back from the underworld. This is due to a pre-existing foot condition and is unrelated to his cardiovascular disease, according to Cheney

From Paul is Dead

Sir Arther, a local record merchant known for losing 45s claims to have seen McCartney shortly before the moment of the alleged car crash. His report mentions that he saw McCartney climb into his car and drive off. He also saw McCartney using a saw to cut off his head while screeming the lyrics to Row Row Row your boat.

Another famous record dealer, Larry, reports that he saw paul building many wax dummies of himself for photo shoots to keep the rumour alive. However, he was eating the wax while making the dummies and kept vomiting on them. This only helped to give the figuers an abused look. Paul was later found that evening passed out with a wax foot in his mouth.

A final report from a gentleman named BUM and known for his nightly gasoline bath, has McCarney coming in for an unleaded washdown before the crash. BUM mentioned that McCartney borrowed a cross-cut saw before departing.

From the trivia section in Keith Olbermann

Wears a hairpiece. Bald as a cueball.

From Wikipedia:Deletion Review

The page on "Weishampel Exchange" was unfairly deleted due to an erroneus link to a college humor website and a Google result of a professor in some unknown college. My research has documentation of this term from Germany, the U.K., and both coasts of the United States. This was deleted with haste, and possibly bias towards the gay/homosexual community!

YOU HAVE INSULTED US GREATLY BY SINKING THE RAINBOW WARRIOR!!!!!

From Vacuum metastability disaster

(note the last line) Coleman and De Luccia argue that the "true vacuum" would destroy life as we know it because all protons would be destroyed as soon as the bubble of the true vacuum reached them. They theorized that this would not only destroy all life, but lead to the universal extinction of happiness.

Anime. So simple.

mostly my story is about a happy story with a sad ending its a story about 4 heroes living there dreams and then one day they run in to some trouble haku had done a ice jutsu and surrounded them they were fighting and haku threw the throwing needls they stuck in sasuke then in naruto so mutch that he couldnt get up and he fell asleep sasuke:get up loser. he faught and faught to the point that he couldint any more naruto woke up he saw sasuke sasuke fell down naruto caut him sasuke said my brother dount let him get away my dream was to restore my clan and then he died the battle was soon over naruto turned half demon but did not kill her kakashi sensei did by accident sakura said naruto over here so you and sasuke are alrite. naruto did not respond sakura said oh no. and then the bridge bulder took her over there and she saw him she droped down on her nees and cried on him if you want to see the next episode of naruto and see this on tv at 9:00 go to the tv and turn to cartoon network on saturdays only you will cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is why I enjoy foreign film so much.

Speaking of which, I think I need subtitles to understand that post... --Codeman38 16:54, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

Simple, Sasuke dies, I think Kakashi dies, and Sakura cries...you know the only thing spelt right is the name of the charectors rgoodermote 17:36, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Freeman, Hardy and Willis

Freeman, Hardy and Willis was a high street shoe shop in the UK. Sadly the shoe business was not kind to Freeman, Hardy and Willis and the company are now closed.

The shoe retailer was originally established in 1875 and was named after three employees of the company. For many years, there was a branch in almost every town in the UK. The company was subsequently acquired by Charles Clore in his British Shoe Corporation empire which also comprosed Trueform, Olympus Sport, Curtess, Dolcis, Manfield, Saxone and Lilley & Skinner. In the early 1990's British Shoe converted around half of the Freeman Hardy Willis branches in to Hush Puppies shops, and sold the remainder to Stephen Hinchcliffe an entrepreneur from Sheffield. Sadly, after only a year, Hinchcliffe's business empire collapsed (he was subsequently jailed) and after providing 'Shoes For All The Family' since 1875, in 1996 Freeman Hardy Willis was no more.

Why is this in BJAODN? It's not written especially encyclopedicly, but it isn't a joke or nonsense as far as I can tell. Our FHW converted to a Hush Puppy, then closed, and the dates seem reasonable. 57.66.51.165 20:24, 8 March 2006 (UTC)

The Real Franklin

Franklin is actually a Librarian in a school on the other side of intergalactic space, where nuns and natzi's frollick joyfully in harmony. Where Jews and Germans and Americans and Iraquies and Fruitbats and Orangotangs and Breakfast Cerials and Holy Hand Grenades oyfully smite the unholy pick Bunnies of Pinkness. In the land where the rivers run with pulpy orange juice and the mountains are made of mashed potatoes with lava of googooplex gravy. Franklin also wears glasses and rules a kingdom of elderberrry jelly with his minions of bevers.

From Emma Dingle

Emma Dingle is the name given to a girl born in Taunton, Somerset, England, on the 20th January 1980. Obviously there are many other Emma Dingles and it would be interesting to hear about all of them.

This Emma is a female of Irish, Welsh and French ancestry who currently resides in Haringey, North London. In March of 2006 she will move to Colliers Wood in South London and start living as a proper adult in the city.

This Emma is the eldest of three girls, born to Caroline and Graham and another born to a different father who will not be named at this time. She is the stepsister to a younger brother and sister also.

This Emma has a varied career from retail management to engineering to legal administration to investment administration and now currently works as a PA in a charity based in Kensington Olympia.

This Emma is an atheist equalitist. She believes that all humans have the right to be here and to have whatever beliefs they wish as long as these beliefs to not infringe on other's lives.

This entry was designed so that this Emma would make some minor and continually updated mark in history. She wishes to increase her profile within the world and make a difference by offering her vision of a society based on human endeavour and forward free-thinking.

If this entry stays then I will offer some more interesting and less vague information. If you know me feel free to inform the world about me.

I like that last part ... the very definition of vanity page.

Nomad porn

Nomad porn is the best porn in all existence. Nomad porn can include incestful rape, incestful gangbangs, hemophiliacs, and amputees. The only thing not allowed in Nomad porn is soccer commentators, which is far to vulgar for the nomads. The best nomad porn in existence is flying nomad porn but it can only be watched by a select few. If watched by a normal civilian their eyes will melt. The melting of the eyes is caused by having a strong heart, emotionally and physically

from Sacrebyte

sacrebyte (plural sacrebytes)

(SI) One bazillion (1,000,000,000,000,000) bytes, as opposed to a scacabyte. (computing, colloquial) Imprecisely, a scacabyte or 20488 (2,199,023,255,552) bytes.

From Baha'i humor

The Bahá'í Faith is an independent world religion and it seems reasonable to expect it to possess a body of jokes and other examples of humor, as other religions do. This page will attempt to document this.

The Pioneer

Necessary background:

1. Bahá'í pioneers are not missionaries, but unpaid volunteers who move to another region which lacks Bahá'ís.
2. A Local Spiritual Assembly (LSA) must have a minimum of 9 adult Bahá'ís. Bahá'ís have been known to move in order to allow various LSA's to continue functioning.
3. The "Remover of Difficulties" is a short prayer revealed by the Báb, it is one of the most commonly known Bahá'í prayers.

A Bahá'í pioneer was trespassing through the jungle of some tropical country, when suddenly he found himself surrounded by naked men with bones through their noses, waving spears. They tied him up and threw him in a stew-pot, then started piling firewood underneath. Drums sounded. In desperation the pioneer began reciting the "remover of difficulties" prayer. Suddenly the drumming stopped. One cannibal looked at another and said "Hey guys! I think we've just found the ninth member of our Local Spiritual Assembly!"

Miscellaneous two-liners

Necessary background:

1. Bahá'í bookstores sell numerous t-shirts, bumper stickers, and buttons with messages advocating world peace, an end to racism, "one world", and so on.
2. The Bahá'ís see their sacred history as beginning with the Bábí movement (1844-1852), though recognizing it to be a separate religion from their own.

Q. What did they have before Bahá'í buttons were invented?

A. Bábí pins! (sounds like "bobby pins")

Necessary background:

Bahá'u'lláh's writings are called "tablets" (lawh).

Q. Why don't Bahá'ís get headaches?

A. Because Bahá'u'lláh gave them Tablets!

Necessary background:

`Abdu'l-Bahá, the son of Bahá'u'lláh, traveled through Europe and the United States shortly before World War I, giving talks on Bahá'í themes. He is referred to reverently as "the Master."

Q. How did `Abdu'l-Bahá finance his trip across America and Europe?

A. With Master-Card!

Columbus

The following story is from Vignettes

`Abdu'l-Bahá told a Bahá'í to prepare to go to India to teach the Faith. So he prepared by studying Indian culture, languages, etc. But at the last minute, the Master changed his mind and decided to send him to America.

"But I thought I was going to India," said the Pioneer.

`Abdu'l-Bahá answered, "So did Columbus."

Entering Heaven

Necessary Background: Huqúqu’lláh (literally "the right of God", Arabic حقوق الله) is a voluntary Bahá'í religious wealth tax analogous to the Islamic Zakat. In this joke it is significant mainly for being difficult to spell.

A Christian, Muslim, and Bahá'í all die at the same time. They come upon the gates of Heaven, and the angel Gabriel greets them and says "To enter Heaven you must answer one question correctly. If you get it right, you can enter. If you get it wrong, you will fall into a fiery abyss."

The Christian steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the most recent Manifestation of God on earth?" The Christian confidently responds "Jesus Christ, the Son of God" Suddenly the ground opens and swallows him up.

The Muslim steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the most recent Manifestation of God on earth?" The Muslim confidently responds "Muhammad, the Apostle of God" Suddenly the ground opens and swallows him up.

The Bahá'í steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Spell Huqúqu’lláh."

Sinking Ship

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim were out sailing on a small boat, when they got caught up in a tempest and the boat capsized. The Christian began to pray out loud, "Dear Lord, please send this infernal Muslim to his death and save me." The Muslim also began to pray out loud, "Oh God, grant your favor on me, and let this wretched Christian drown in the sea." When they asked the Jew why he wasn't praying, he responded, "I trust God will answer your prayers."

Travelling Teachers

Two Bahá'í travelling teachers were in a small town, looking for a place to stay. The only place for rent was the basement of an old house that had a reputation for being haunted. They took the place and moved in. The neighbors were curious to see how long they would be able to stay in the haunted basement. A week passed, then two. The travelling teachers showed no signs of moving out. Finally, someone came and asked them how they could bear to stay, and weren't they afraid of the ghosts? "Oh no," one of the teachers replied, "We're Bahá'ís." "What does being Bahá'ís have to do with it?" the questioner inquired. "Well, you see, Bahá'u'lláh said, 'Fear not abasement...'"

The Veteran

Necessary Background: Bahá'ís do not drink alcoholic beverages.

An old WWII vet went to his local watering hole once a week on Fridays and ordered three beers. He did this every week for some years, and became a familiar sight to the bartender. One evening, curiosity got the best of the bartender, and he asked the old man, "why do you come here and get three beers every single Friday?". The old man laughed and said "well, when I was in WWII, my two best buddies and I agreed that wherever we were, we would get three beers every Friday- one for each of us. That way, we always remember one another." The bartender smiled, thanked the old man for the explanation, and said goodbye to him as he left the bar. The next week, the old man walked in as usual, climbed onto his favorite barstool, and said hello to the bartender, who'd already set aside three beers. "Actually," said the veteran, "this week, I will only be needing two beers." The bartender was stunned by the change in routine and stuttered "b-b-but why only two? Please don't tell me one of your buddies died." With a smile on his face, the old man replied, "No no, it's because I'm a Baha'i now!"

:Category:Bahá'í practices

Flying humanoids

Artist's rendition of a flying humanoid.

A rare photograph of a hundred flying humanoids.

Flying humanoids are considered to be a new phenomenon. In 2004, people have observed, photographed, and even videotaped the appearance of unidentified flying objects in the shape of humans. Some have been described as demons in flight. One tape shows an object described as "yeti-like" flying over the observer.

One skeptical explanation is that the objects are simply escaped party balloons, in many cases mylar balloons.[1]

Sightings

First reports of flying humanoids started in Mexico and have since occurred in the U.S.

External Links

• Another Flying "Humanoid" Videotaped over Mexico City
• Crop Circle Answers: UFOs
• UFO Casebook[2]claims Discovery Channel claims flying humanoids are balloons, people disagree, since these creatures have exhibited bizarre characterisitcs that do NOT fit the "Balloon" hypothesis.
• Flying Humanoid Pix incl. Aztec or Mayan pix of this creature
• More Flying Humanoids

It should be noted that the pictures were later added to the article as a joke, though the conspiracy theorist nut who originally wrote the article was dead serious.

Moophasa

Moophasa (or m00phasa) can be used used as a Noun, Adjective or Verb

Examples:

You stupid moophasa! - Noun (used negatively)

That is (so) m00phasa! - Adjective (used either positively or negatively depending on the situation)

m00phasa this! - Verb (positive/negative)

What does it mean?

It is derived from the character Mufasa of The Lion King (Disney) and is spelled phonetically, but the meaning is not related to the animated character. It can be considered internet slang but is sometimes spoken. It is not yet a 'household' word, however there are several small groups of people circulating it, so it could soon become extremely popular. The use of '00' instead of 'oo' is used to emphasise the statement's point as with other examples of internet slang (e.g. 'n00b'). m00phasa is mainly used in a positive context, however, some use it negatively.

It is considered to be strictly non-n00b territory. So-called n00bs are not considered worthy of using it as it puts great dishonour upon the most sacred word. In addition, the term m00ph454 means exactly the same thing, with the leet taken 'to the max'.

Etymology of the word

1. Mufasa (a character from The Lion King).
2. m00fasa (leet variant of original word, with new meaning).
3. m00phasa (Further evolution of leet spelling).
4. m00ph454 (leet taken 'to the max').

From Wikipedia:Vandalism

Vandalism is any addition, deletion, multiplication, division, or change to content made in a deliberate attempt to compromise the integrity of the encyclopedia, what little there is. The most common type of vandalism is the replacement of existing text with obscenities, page blanking, or the insertion of other wholly irrelevant content, no matter how funny and awesome it is.

Must... resist... tempation to reinsert this comment... BigNate37 04:15, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

From Star strike

Currently, the game is in the alpha stage. With many features not working, such as ISBMs, Spies, and Mercenaries, it still requires an immense amount of thought, strategy, and skill. There are bugs throughout the game, which give it variety but are also known to cause a few headaches to it's more dedicated players.

You don't say. I guess that's a new take on "It's a FEATURE!"

From Lincolnism

Lincolnism is a fanatical religion from the deep south, governed by the Prophet T.J. Tippit.

Lincolnism History

Linconism is the bold, outspoken religion practiced by a small group of activists in the deep southern area of the United States, mainly Louisiana. It is practised around near fanatical ideas, such as the ideal that Abraham Lincoln created all that is and should be worshipped accordingly. Liconism was started in the year 2005. It is unknown who exactly started this radical religion, but many signs point to it's prophet, T.J. "Top Hat" Tippit. Tippit proclaimed in the Lincolnist publishing G Dawg (An effective "10 commandments" of Lincolnism) that Lincoln had come to him in a dream, and given him a prophecy. Tippit claimed that Lincoln had told him that Lincolnists from around the world should amass funds and donate them to the prophet for "Spiritual Healing".

From the Talk page:

Looks like it's a hoax. Sadly, it isn't.

• Ahem*

Lincolnism isn't actually a MAJOR religion....But most of the stuff on that page is true. The stuff about francis bacon would make me question the topic writer's credibility, but most of the things he said before it was true. By my high school, there's actually a church (more or less, no steeple or cross etc) named "First Lincolnist Church". Some people will really believe anything these days.

From Honesdale

What is it Like

Honesdale has changed little in the last 30 years. Some big box realtors have moved into the town near the Route 6 Plaza. The Plaza was built at the site of a small airport that used to handle single engine private planes. On a trip to Honesdale you will find a quiet Main Street with Mom and Pop Stores. The core of the community exists in one of two places either the high school or in the bars that invariablly serve cheap beer and box wine. Depending on which bar you visit you may have opportunity to meet many of the high school students. The local newspaper, the Wayne Independent, fills many of its pages with reports of DWI arrests and local interest stories. The community has little if any industry beyond the remnants of a once thriving population of family owned dairy farms.

The plaza still remains today.

(From Wikipedia: Sandbox)

Wakkapedia is the latest version of Wikipedia, written so Jim Henson's Muppets could read it.

From Talk:Wooooooooooooooooooooooookiees

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccaaaaaaaaa is one of these--64.12.117.12 20:51, 16 January 2006 (UTC)

From Narr'Genn

Little is known and less understood of the strange and disturbing ritual that is Narr'Genn. Narr'Genn was created by the senile Darth Bane when he began the new order. In Narr'Genn you must wear the undergarments of the one you love. An example of this is that Darth Vader has been wearing a pair of Padme's panties since he became a sith(He had obtained them from her when he was nine and she was fourteen) Another part of the ritual is that the sith can NEVER change the undergarments.

From M$

Microsoft, (M$), (Microsoft) have been accused of being a monopoly.

From Brest

History

The military harbor was fortified by Vauban (1633-1707). During World War II, the Germans held a large submarine base in Brest. Destroyed at the end of the war, the city has since been rebuilt. The rebuilt city consists primarily of utilitarian gray granite and concrete buildings. LOL ha ha ha LOL

Geography

Brest is located amidst dramatic landscape near the entrance of the natural Rade de Brest, at the west end of the Brittany peninsula. LOL

From God

In many Western religions, God is usually said to be Chuck Norris, but indeed Chuck Norris is too powerful to be just a god.

From Oxegen

Oxegen is a yearly music festival, the first of which occurred in 2004 by lepers sent from zeus, sponsored by the O2 mobile communications company and Heineken. It was previously called Witnness, which ran from 2000 and was sponsored by Guinness. It takes place at the Punchestown Racecourse, Co. Kildare, Ireland and has an average attendance of around 80,000million dwarfs and freaks a day including that ghosty one, with around half of these camping on site for gay sex and marshmallows for the duration, and the rest travelling to the site each day.

As well as five Stages for Music, there are two large areas for camping which are numerically subdivided into gay and not gay. Each of these camping areas has its own small stage on which a mystery guest singer or genetically modified kirsty will dance, generally a mid-level act from the day before, will play. There are also stalls and Shops all around the enclosed area that charge about a hundred euro for a coke, and there are toliet areas full of poo and poo eating monsters. Critics often note that these toliet facilites are not nearly adequate to satisfy the hungriest crowds.

There is also a Funfair featuring A big Wheel and a stick and other rides, such as zico, mexi and tanz although at the 2004 festival these cost an extra €5 each. With special rates for hot chicks.

For the most part, its lineup is identical to that of T in the Park, which runs on the same weekend with even more freaks and lesbein shows, but in Scotland.

From Rock

Rock, Paper, Scissors- V.3

Rock, Paper, Scissors is a form of...you know...where you can be one of six things

1. Rock 2. Paper 3. Scissors 4. Dynamite 5. Bird 6. God

Rock- Smashes scissors, stones bird

Paper- Beats Rock

Scissors- Cuts Paper, Cuts Bird's wings, Cuts fuse off of dynamite

Dynamite- Blows up rock, Fuse burns (or obliterates) paper

Bird- Poops on paper, Poops on Dynamite: putting out the fuse.

God- "Poofs" away anything, but can only be used in the game once.

Whoever wins licks two fingers and strikes the loser with them (it's painful, believe me).

Arguments

There have been arguments about the bird-poops-on-dynamite strategy. Because, either the guano (forgive me if I misspelled it) puts out the fire, or the materials in the bird poop increase combustion and makes matters worse.

this is one version of many called Extreme Rock Paper Scissors. Extreme Rock Paper Scissors is centered around a key to all the hand symbols you can use.There are around 25 symbols you can choose to use and the key shows what beats what. Some symbols are as follows: man,woman,cockroach, nuke, wind,water,fire, earth,tree,sun,moon,lion, and many more. it can get fairly complicated but there are never any disputes because of the key which clearly outlines what beats what.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_rock_paper_scissors_game"

From Multi capital

Multi capital is reffer to the both capital in one country

All your capital are belong to us. --Codeman38 16:54, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

Dworl

Dworl is the great and vast world that is home to good Elves, Dwarves, Dwelves, Men, Wizards, and unfortunately, Evil.©

The Happies

The Happies started as a simple home recording project. Just as Pinocchio became a real boy, The Happies became a real band.

Brothers, Miles and Nathan, moved to Salt Lake City and began fulfilling their aspirations to become the next Osmonds. Eventually they convinced their younger brother, Linwood, to join them in their musical splendor. Next to join The Happies was William Elledge Bowers IV (a local ninja) who Miles met in another music project.

It was a beautiful summer afternoon; the sky was blue, the grass was green, and The Happies were playing in the park. Suddenly, upon hearing the melodic harmonies of an acoustic ensemble emanating from near the fountain, an unsuspecting passerby brought his bicycle to a halt. This was Ki. A very talented musician himself, Ki became not only a member of the band, but also an intricate part of The Happies' songwriting.

The Happies are an indie entity with a sound that bears a striking resemblance to the bands in the vein of Belle & Sebastian, The Shins, Grandaddy, and The Beatles (if they were around today).

Our inability to fully appreciate the Happies' sound ... yet another thing we can blame on Yoko.

Wilson School Buses

The Wilson School District is located in West Lawn, PA.

Regular Route Buses

• Bus 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12, 17, 19, 25, 26, 29, 30, 31, and 35 are 1994, '95, '96, '97, '98, and '99 GMC Conventionals with Blue Bird bodies. Bus 2 and 4 are short buses. Bus 6, 7, 17, and 30 are equipped with wheelchair lifts. Bus 8 and 10 have two stop signs. Bus 6, 12, 17, and 30 have one roof exit and four emergency window exits. Bus 8, 10, 25, 26, 31, and 35 have two roof exits and two emergency window exits. 2 and 4 have two emergency window exits and no roof exits.
• Bus 23 is a 2000 International 3800 short bus with a Blue Bird body. It has one roof exit and two emergency window exits, and it has a wheelchair lift.
• Bus 3, 15, 27, 32, and 33 are 2001 and '02 Freightliners with Thomas bodies. They have two roof exits and two emergency window exits. Bus 15, 27, and 32 have hi roofs.
• Bus 9 and 36 are 2003 Chevrolet Conventionals with Blue Bird bodies. They have two roof exits and two emergency window exits.
• Bus 1, 16, 21, 22, 28, 34, 37, and 38 are 2004, '05, and '06 Blue Bird Visions. Evidently, they have Blue Bird bodies on Blue Bird chassis. Bus 38 is a short bus, and it has one roof exit and two emergency window exits. It also has a wheelchair lift. All the other Visions have two roof exits and two emergency window exits. Bus 16, 21, 22, and 38 have tinted windows.

Spare Buses

• Bus 5, 11, 13, 14, 18, and 24 are 1992 and '93 Internationals with Blue Bird bodies. They are used mostly for athletic trips and when a bus breaks down.

Explanations

• Bus 25 was the first bus with air brakes and air-operated doors. All the buses that are older than 1999 are equipped with hydraulic brakes.
• All the 2000's buses have air brakes and air-operated doors.
• The Freightliners are equipped with air-ride suspensions. Bus 3 and 33 are equipped with AM/FM stereos.
• All the buses are diesel-powered, and they have automatic transmissions.
• The buses are good for up to 10 years/100,000 miles.

Buses to be removed/replaced

2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 24, 29, and 30

Mosaic model

One of the most fundamentally controversial human sex model's proposed in the 21st century is the Fluid Mosic model of Human Semen. The theory was put forth by Dr Jonatthan McLyod and Avon Von Gor of the University of Trent in 1975. According to the MM (Mosiac Model) theory, when semen (Pre-Cum) from a male sibling is applied onto another siblings gentital's over a specific duration of time, there is a gradual increase in the size of gonads.

McLyod's theory was published in the June 1976 issue of Nature and was subsequently rubbished by the conservative western media. The theory has several takers also. McLyod argued that his studies, which he later published in the form of a book -- Nature's Juices, Oxford Univ Press -- was based on scientific surveys.

Mclyod along with his Dutch assistant Von Gor took painstaking samples from 51 such tribes, who purpotedly practise this ritual and hence boast of bigger genitals. The duo followed this up with a mass demonstration to prove that the trasformation of penile muscles -- which are soft tendenous -- does take place with the help of identical DNA.

The theory hinges on the fact that siblings have the same genetic make up and hence their semen and pre-cum mosiacs contain the same genetic message. It's exposure to atmosphere and subsequent application on another soft tendenous body part leads to the gradual increase in size of the organ.

Check Bush

Check Bush is a Greek play written in 1899 by Grant "the bad mamma jamma" Shellhouse. It was Grant's most famous play and features a controversial plot about a conservative father with a homosexual son (which Grant modeled after himself). The name is derived from the greek words checkos and bushoma which mean the father and his son. It was writen in three acts and was used for Rod Sheffield's OAP. The details the life of the father Nakosis Droma, and his son Nicholi. Nakosis is a conservative who has been elected by his village as a representative in the Greecean government. A local pundit soon snoops in the Dromas past under orders from a great competator of Nakosis. The pundit fallows Nicholi to a questionable area of town known as the Homoctian Sector. Nicholi's lover named only Rhessios is interviewed by the pundit. Rhessios is tired of being hidden and reveals Nicholi's secret. The news is soon spread and Nakosis is shunned by his conservative constiuents. Nakosis and Nicholi get into a heated fight after Nicholi returns home without hearing the news about his own secret. Nicholi is kicked out of his home and removed form his fathers will. He then turns to Rhessios, who has become famous in his revelation. Rhessios soon turns Nicholi away, and the young son is left to the streets. In the finally scene of the drama both father and son die abandoned and alone.

P.S. Vitarius Sucks

From Anzu Mazaki

From :[3]

"ANZU LOVES SETO KAIBA AND THEY TOTALLY HAVE SOME WILD SEX AGAINST A DOOR IN THE FIRST SERIES ANIME!!!!"

and

". However, her relationship and feelings slowly change for Dark Yugi as she finds him isolated from her and meant for someone else--the one and only Isis Ishtar. Her romantic conquests can to some extent also be said to include her former love's archenemy, Seto Kaiba. Eventually, Seto Kaiba and Anzu Mazaki address their feelings, get married, and have a child."

Top 5 corn-producing states

From Top 5 corn-producing states:

Some of the most corn-producing states are: Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska, and Minnesota.

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Top 5 corn-producing states:

• keep and create companion articles on the top 7-, 10-, and 13-corn producing states. or, what the hell, just delete it. Derex 21:47, 14 January 2006 (UTC)
• Clearly rename to "top 4 corn-producing states". Delete, possible speedy as noconten/xt. Stifle 00:29, 16 January 2006 (UTC)

From Eugene V. Debs

Debs made his best-remembered statement at his sentencing hearing:

"Your Honor, years ago I recognized my kinship with all living beings, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free."

And the judge replied with "O RLY?"

George Washington Dixon

(From Wikipedia:peer Review)

George Washington Dixon was an early blackface performer and newspaper editor in the United States. He was the 19th-century equivalent to performers like Celine Dion or the Backstreet Boys — hated by the press and critics but loved by the common people. He's less well known than his contemporary Thomas D. Rice, so it was quite interesting to research and write about him. The piece draws heavily from Cockrell, as he is the only modern writer to have written much of anything on Dixon.

I plan to nominate this for Featured Article status after the holidays. In the meantime, I'd appreciate any suggestions on what should be changed and tweaked to help my chances over there and to make this an overall better article. More images would of course be good, but they may have to be tertiary to the topic at hand. For example, I can add a picture of the Bowery Theatre, but I don't have any images of Dixon at the Bowery Theatre. — BrianSmithson 16:10, 20 December 2005 (UTC) It looks like a good article about a very colorful character. Thanks. It's also an interesting insight into the press practices of the day. Did he ever have a wife or kids? It doesn't sound like it. I can't think of much else that needs adding; it appears fine as it is, at least to me. — RJH 23:42, 10 January 2006 (UTC)

Transport in Poland by Foot

The following was in the Transport section in the Poland article, following on from Road, Rail, Sea, and Air. It was removed because it resembles original research:

• Foot: The furthest distance between two points in Poland is between Świnoujście and a point 15km South-East of Wołosate. It is possible to walk this distance in 27 days, 8 hours and 15 minutes. A shorter journey time can be achieved by not taking a day off to purchase more durable clothing in Kalisz and by not being laid up with a stomach virus in a hotel in Frysztak for another day. It must be pointed out that the last 10km of the journey are not strictly speaking publicly accessible land, although it is possible to gain access to it subject to verbal authorisation from the border patrols. The consequence of this is that any two places in Poland are within walking distance if there is a month available for the journey.

From Uaaxee

Uaaxee was born in Reda, Miope in -700,000. Her uncle, Wheel Of Fate I (b.-900,000, d.-98,000) was Uaaxee's idol. Uaaxee is famous for three things. Uaaxee discovered that there is more then just one race in the Entire. Also, Uaaxee proved that men and women should seperate their hearts and put half blood into babies. Lastly, Uaaxee invented a place called Uaaxee, Miopoe. Uaaxee helped Miopoe become the richest Entire in the Ka-Entire. Uaaxee told the POSS that he should command Miopoe to give up at least 75% of the people to become slaves. Uaaxee's wish was granted and her Entire got a reward from the POSS of 1,000,000,000,000,000 kiutyulukjytequeas in -498,000. In -405,000 , Uaaxee wed Tequtuioljkopapa Bhuyjujujuju. But one day, Tequtuioljkopapa Bhuyjujujuju killed about 90% of Miopoe not including Uaaxee. Uaaxee found out and sent him to the POSS, Uhjikope the Great. the POSS killed Tequioljkopapa one day in -312,000. Uaaxee was lonly but she knew the Wheel of Fate I was goingg to have a baby near -100,000! But as Uaaxee kept getting older, Wheel Of Fate I had a baby named Wheel Of Fate Jr. (b.-100,000 d.???)! The Wheel Of Fate Jr. and Uaaxee are 1st cousins. But in -95,000 , Uaaxee was taking care of the Wheel of Fate Jr., (since the Wheel of Fate I died) Uaaxee was so sad and mad that her uncle died, so she killed her family exept little Wheel of Fate Jr. Uaaxee had been turned in to the POSS, Yout Mipe in -93,000. She worked as a slave for the POSS for 50,000 years with no pay and one meal of plastic a day. But one day, the POSS went to cheak on Uaaxee, but she wasn't there. Uaaxee ran away from jail and ran off. She ran off and was never seen exept when Hiututu Poiu had seen that she had died AROUND -10,000.

From Liberal Party of Canada and Conservative Party of Canada

The Liberal Party of Canada article has been popular with politically-minded vandals recently. They're sight gags, so here you go:

• Revision as of 14:10, January 16, 2006
  
• Revision as of 18:55, January 14, 2006

The Conservative Party article has also been a target:

• Cheryl Gallant, another Ontario MP, compared abortion to terrorism, having had experience in both areas. [4]

From List of political parties in Canada

Therefore, Canada is a nuthouse, as the political vandalism of the Conservative Party of Canada and Liberal Party of Canada sites show.

No backspace friday

In a world which has radically changed over the past few years, typewriters and the inherent, stunning accuracy of highly skilled and well exercised typists is being replaced by a computer and an operator who can easily correct anything they write by the use of the backspace key. In response to this, a group of dedicated error-haters has proposed the introduction of a regular event, in the hope that people will learn to type more accurately (and possibly just for laughs). Currently, Friday, January 20th 2006 is the first No Backspace Friday occurance, but with your support, we can make it happen more often.

The rules are as follows:
1) One cannot use the backspace key, Delete key, or any other facility which would allow correction of typos or any other errors (such as amusing Freudian slips, things you really didn't mean to say but you already typed them and now you might regret it, etc)
2) If you are the kind of person who automatically corrects mistakes without even realising it, then you are strongly encouraged to avoid typing or any sort of contact with computers during No Backspace Friday - trust me, the stress levels you would experience this day would be very high.
3) If your job involves writing code, you are still strongly encouraged to obey the rules on No Backspace Friday - at worst you would have an unproductive day, at best you might mistakenly write the best code ever. However, writing code and passwords are generaly (and unfortunately) exempt from the rules.
4) If you are using the Backspace key (or Delete key, or any other otherwise correction-relevant keys) as binded keys in a game or any other application, you may still do so during No Backspace Friday - for example, you might have one of them binded to "use medikit".

We are hoping to repeat No Backspace Friday as often as possible, leading to a more productive workforce, keyboards having a longer life, and amusing spelling mistakes. Please show your support!

Cocks

Figured the title of this one would get some attention. I'm editing Wikipedia right now, and according to my clocks (I have more than 3 in my room, not including my two watches and iPod), the current time averages out to about...oh...0609hrs pacific standard time. The damn rooster next door has been crowing for three solid hours straight and it's really pissing me off. Why does a rooster feel the need to do this at the damn crack of dawn when dawn is easily several hours off? I've checked the Rooster article and there is no indication of why, aside from a predator warning call. Any ideas? Cernen Xanthine Katrena 14:04, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

See this. David Feldman has been researching this stuff for years. So hard not to make jokes.... Aghhh! CambridgeBayWeather (Talk) 14:13, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

On a related note, how easy is it to toilet-train a rooster?

CBW - lemme help you. Perhaps I should inform the neigbor that her rooster is being a WP:DICK? Cernen Xanthine Katrena 21:20, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

As always, CambridgeBayWeather, you assist me in ways you cannot possibly imagine. And now, a question for the legal experts: what can I do to get him to stop? (Killing the cock is not an answer.) Cernen Xanthine Katrena 06:40, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm, so you don't want me to tell you to choke the chicken. Have you tried discussing this with the cocks owners? CambridgeBayWeather (Talk) 07:02, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

Everyone is always 'me, me, me'. Rather than killing the bird, or having a (potentially ugly) discussion with the owner, consider the rooster's rights. If the bird wants to crow, he should be able to. Respect the cock, and get some earplugs. ;) Proto t c 11:04, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

from Eva Braun

Don't cry for me, Argentina I never left you Not in all my wild years

Oh waitaminit, that's Eva Peron!

Note: the revert to this edit said, "Wrong frickin' musical, rvv"

From Hu

Wayne Hu is the son of Raiden, the god of thunder, and Jessica Rabbit, the sultry lounge singer at 'The Ink and Paint Club' in Toontown. He was born August 32nd, 1478, in Eastern Siberia, three days before he overthrew the oppressive dictator of that area at the time in a legendary four day battle of wits, brawn, and firepower. Once he took the throne, he began to rule Siberia with an iron, but just, fist. As his influence grew throughout his country, he began to expand his borders. By the year 1479, at a mere six months of age, Wayne Hu defeated his last remaining opponent, Sarah Conner of Chile, and stood as the lone supreme ruler of SiberiaEarth.

His reign continued with total peace over all the Earth for eighty years until an asteroid crashed into the planet. Monsters and aliens and mutant cyborgs poured out from inside giant rock, giving the Number Six Special to all who stood in their path. Wayne Hu's people begged him to once again pick up the Master Sword and defend his nation. He stalwartly obliged, yet once he reached the asteroid, he found it not to be an asteroid, but to be the space ship of Rita Repulsa, evil sorceress and frequent guest on Oprah. The two fought, and with the combined might of Wayne Hu and Wayne Hu's tank top, Wayne Hu was able to launch Rita Repulsa back into space, where she crashed into the face of the moon. She currently resides there today.

Wayne Hu continued to reign over SiberiaEarth for another four hundred years until he got bored. He decided to split SiberiaEarth back into the nations that it once was, despite the unanimous outcry of all of SiberiaEarth's peoples. To their dissappointment, he followed through with his plan. Some historians say that though this was a great loss for humanity, it was theater's greatest gain, for it was at this time that Wayne Hu directed his unboundable enthusiasm at the stage. He has been on the stage ever since, starring in such critically acclaimed productions as: the original cast of Shakespeare's The Tempest, Les Miserables, TCNJ Opera Theater's Pirates of Penzance, and the upcoming movie adaptation of Green Day's American Idiot. Wayne Hu was also the inspiration for the play Oklahoma! and the character of Mr. Mustapheles of Cats. He has been quoted as saying that his acting career will not end until he dies, and he has also been quoted as saying that he will not allow himself to die until the world no longer needs him. And we all know, the world will never have enough Wayne Hu.

God only knows what this truly great man will do next.

Steve Fearson's floating cigarette

Steve Fearson's floating cigarette by Steve Fearson

Invented in the early 90's (the year needs confirmation) as an attempt by Mr. Fearson to duplicate John Kennedys "Animated Self-lighting Cigarette".

You display an ordinary cigarette. It is first suspended on the tip of your tongue, then your finger!

Next it begins to float from hand to hand before dropping down near the floor.

It moves back up in a circular pattern and passes through a ring formed by your fingers, proving no support!

It again floats towards the floor, stops and finally rises all the way back up, up into your mouth

This trick consists of an invisible thread that the magician wraps around his body and sticks to himself with magicians wax. He then manipulates it to give the illusion that the cigarette is floating.

except it adds the ending of the "ufo" flying off into the distance.

From Practical Joke

Metal and spidy-chan frm swansea ROCK!!!!!!!!!! ______66666________66666______ ____6______66____66______6____ ___6_________6__6_________6___ ___6__________66__________6___ ____6_______6____6_______6____ _____6____6________6____6_____ ______6_6____________6_6______ ______66______________66______ ____6___6____________6___6____ __6______6__________6______6__ _6666666666666666666666666666_ ___________6______6___________ ____________6____6____________ _____________6__6_____________ ______________66______________ ______________________________

From Bottlenose whale

For context, see also River Thames whale

On January 20 2006, a Northern Bottlenose Whale was spotted in Central London in the River Thames. (BBC) The Thames whale reached as far up river as Albert Bridge before it was swarmed by starving and ragged homeless, dragged into Battersea park, and flensed with broken wine bottles. The authorities have as of yet performed no arrests or fines, as this action is 'inconcievably pro-active' for the box-dwelling winos, and is seen as a potential case of human evolution in the lower class. The whale blubber is even being rendered beneath the Albert Bridge into oil, and while the stench has been noted as far east as Soho, the enlightened bourgois middle class are finding the affair morally uplifting, and a crack BBC reality TV crew has been dispatched to view human evolution in action. There are reports an American version of this upcoming show will be released on NBC.

On January 21 2006, reports of the whale bones having been built into a temple to the Uber-Daemon Alstrogothia are being investigated, and police are considering action, as Queen Elizabeth II had a shocking experience with Alstrogothia as a young girl in private school.

From Flanders

Vlaanderen

The Flemish Region	The Flemish Community
Official language	Dutch
Capital	Brussels
Minister-President	Yves Leterme
Area  – Total	13,522 km²
Population  – In Flemish region  – in Brussels region	6,016,024 (2004) ca. 200,000 442/km²
Regional anthem	De Vlaamse Leeuw

Flanders (Flemish, Fleming) (Dutch: Vlaanderen (Vlaams, Vlaming)) has-diddley two-diddley main-diddley designations-diddley:

• a-diddley geographical-diddley region-diddley in-diddley-diddley-diddley the-diddley north-diddley of-diddley Belgium-diddley, corresponding-diddley to-diddley the-diddley Flemish Region, a-diddley consituent-diddley part-diddley of-diddley the-diddley federal-diddley Belgian-diddley state-diddley.
• a-diddley constituent-diddley community-diddley of-diddley the-diddley federal-diddley Belgian-diddley state-diddley through-diddley its-diddley social-diddley and-diddley political-diddley organizations-diddley, and-diddley through-diddley the-diddley institutions-diddley of-diddley the-diddley Flemish Community (with-diddley its-diddley own-diddley Flemish government-diddley and-diddley Flemish parliament-diddley) and the Flemish Region;

The precise geographical-diddley area denominated by diddley has changed a great deal over the diddley.

In the Middle Ages, the term Diddley was applied to an area in western Diddley, the County of Flanders, spread over:

• a part of what is now the Nord département (Nord-Pas de Calais), in north-eastern France, sometimes called French Flanders
• the area that is now approximately the Flemish provinces of East Flanders and West Flanders
• a part of what is now Zeeland in south-western Netherlands, called Zeeuws-Vlaanderen.

The significance of-diddley the County and its counts eroded-diddley through time, but the designation remained in a very broad sense. In the Early Modern, the term Flanders was associated to the southern part of the Low Countries, the Southern Netherlands. The term Walloon-diddley Flanders corresponds to the French-speaking Flemish region around Mons. In history of art, the adjectives Flemish, Dutch and Netherlandish are commonly used to designate all the artistic production in this region. For examples, Flemish Primitives is synonym for early Netherlandish painting, Franco-Flemish School for Dutch-diddley School, and it is not uncommon to see Mosan art categorized as Flemish art.

List of Non-existent letters.

We, as the human race, communicate through a series of letters all of which exist. There are however some non-existent letters that exist.(LOL) You will not see them in this article as they are not on any keybaord layout or text inserting program.

• Multi-accented A

This is shown as a letter A, but with every kind of accent attached to it. If it did exist it would be all of the accented A's overlaid over one another. (ÁÀÂÄÃǍĀĂĄÅΑ over laid.) This can also apply to all other letters except for S due to the ß or double S, and also the double ch, frequently used in the greek texts of early gnostic texts. Sadly this symbol was commandeered by the Emperoror Augustine at the council of nicea in 1325.

• Sad faced box that somewhat resembles an old computer

This letter is unique from the other letters in that it used to exist between 1346 and 1346.5 B.H. (before ham) Nobody knows what context it was used in or the sound it made. Most people believe that it was used in Ancient China during it's existence by fortune tellers. Supposedly, the theory stems from the fact that Chinese characters are pictograms used to represent things by way of picture. In this case, the figure would predict that in the future people would be crap at making computers.

• Glitch box

This letter is by far the hardest to draw out of all the non-existent letters in existence.(LOL) This is because it is made up of millions of lines that must drawn in the correct part of the letter. Most people who own computer games and attempt to hack into them illegally consider seeing this letter a problem as it appears if they perfom an impossible operation.

Non-existent letters in modern media

• The sad faced box that somewhat resembles an old computer can be seen in most Apple Mac computers if an error occurs. Because of this, most people credit Apple for it's creation and it is now called the Sad Mac.

• The Glitch box is one of the characters shown in the name of the glitch Pokémon 'M.

From Hidden Track

Examples

• The Beatles were responsible for what may be the first "hidden track" (although it may not be considered a full track) on the 1967 album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: a collection of sounds were inserted at the end of the LP, including some in the run-off groove. After the final chord of "A Day In The Life" dies out, there follows an extremely high-pitched sound, apparently intended to annoy the listener's dog. This is followed by an odd collection of Beatle nonsense chatter in the run-off groove, forming a continuous loop which would go on infinitely if the album was left alone on records players which do not include an auto-return arm. This was recreated on the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band CD version (which fades out after about 20 seconds) and is not a separate track but part of "A Day in the Life".

By the way, this is absolutely true. Those of you with the album, check the liner notes. The dog thing was Lennon's idea.

From Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy

Prospective students, who are usually freshmen in high school but in exceptional cases can be students in eighth grade, must fill out an extensive application to gain admission to IMSA. This application can now be completed online which can be found at here, or for those from southern Illinois, it can be completed via a combination of semaphore and Morse code.

McCulloch v. Maryland

...The McCourt invoked the doctrine of implied powers in the Constitution...

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Paul Jaworski

The result of the debate was keep. Ichiro (会話|+|投稿記録|メール) 01:33, 24 January 2006 (UTC)

Paul Jaworski

Pay attention, now: this was originally an apparent vanity bio, speedy deleted as such, reposted speedied again, then worked up to a different bio, during the time Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Paul Jaworski was happening; speedied almost immediately, then speedied again as repost by Stifle, then recreated (possibly due to an open edit session during the deletion) and speedied again by me, leaving the poor editor somewhat befuddled. For the record, this is not the same as the original subject speedied as nn-bio. Due to potential confusions, and at the request of the (genuine) editor working on the current subject, I have reinstated it, and am bringing it here to clarify once and for all whether the current subject qualifies under WP:BIO. For the record, if I did not think this was a likely keep I would probably not have bothered, but what do I know? - Just zis  Guy, you know? ^[T]/_[C] AfD? 16:20, 18 January 2006 (UTC)

• Strong Keep OK, lol. This is one of my strongest keeps. Firstly, the subject took part in the first armored car robbery. There’s a nice article by the Detroit News about him: The Great Detroit News Payroll Robbery. give it a read it’s quite interesting. Secondly, he’s featured in several books such as: The Violent Years: Prohibition and the Detroit Mobs. Englishrose 16:47, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
• Keep I must admit I know little about this but if the article is about a notable person who happens to have the same name as a previously deleted one then I think it's fair to hold on to it. Keresaspa 17:27, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
• Speedy keep this is a no-brainer. DES ^(talk) 17:55, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
• Keep Notable as a first. Validated: three web references, 1 book reference. --Salix alba (talk) 17:56, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
• Keep --NaconKantari 21:26, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
• Comment: I did not speedily delete the page as I am not an administrator, merely tagged it as db-repost. I guess whoever deleted it may not have checked the old version. I'm too confused to make a vote here. See the deletion log. Stifle 00:17, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

• See? I told you I was confused :-) Sorry and all, no slur intended, I just wanted to get it undeleted ASAP so poor Englishrose could get back to work. - Just zis  Guy, you know? ^[T]/_[C] AfD? 15:15, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

• Comment: I think I see what happened
  1. 00:13, 17 January 2006 - Article with obvious fake content deleted
  2. 00:22, 17 January 2006 - Article recreated with first line of real content.
  3. lots more deletions, speadies tag adding and removal, etc. Meanwhile article steadly improves.--Salix alba (talk) 00:39, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

• Comment: There was never any fake content. The original article was deleted, because the person was not considered "notable" by wikipedia standards. Paulwithap 05:14, 19 January 2006 (UTC)
• Strong keep First armored car robbery, gang leader, etc. Def. notable. B.ellis 13:18, 19 January 2006 (UTC)
• Okay, I have it now. Keep the page, and BJAODN this AFD page. Stifle 00:51, 24 January 2006 (UTC)

• Comment: I'm confused. Why is this on BJAODN? It's not a BJ or ODN. Does it have something to do with the fake content? -LambaJan 07:23, 1 February 2006 (UTC)

Pole tax

In the time after the 15th ammendment was issued, President Linden Johnson was president. The pole tax was issued after the 15th ammendment. It made blacks free to vote, although it wasn't easy. The blacks were very poor and they couldn't pay the tax. This tax affected blacks all over the place. They were being insulted, although it wasn't racial cruelty because white men couldn't vote either. Everyone who wasn't british had to pay tax. The tax was payed to the government. The pole tax wasn't outlawed until the 24th ammendment, in January 23, 1964. The southern states still wanted the pole tax, until the congress sent a copy of their ammendment(the ammendment to make it illegal to charge pole tax), and it was approved.

Waitomo Caves

Blackwater Rafting tours operates a guided tour, complete with wetsuit (much needed) and tube aswell as chocolate fish as an inside treat.

From Flatulence

Flatulence is the presence of a mixture of gases known as flatus that are produced by Katie Starr and her sexx living in the loose anus of everyone who's paid to **** fuck her. Flatulence is released under pressure (from having too much butt sexx) through a loose anus with a characteristic pooping sound and an odor that wreeks worse than Katie's anus. Releasing flatulence is colloquially known as starr-farting; the back-formation to flatulate is also in common usage

tee hee. like it katie starr? i made it specially for you. and everyone in the entire world that looks up flatulence on wikipedia.com will be able to see it until some official from wikipedia figures out what ive done and politely asks me to change it. which could happen like 2 minutes after i post it so hurry up you filthy slut anal prostitue!!!!

Updog

What's updog you ask???

Not much, what's up with you?

From This is hyony

Lee Jung Hyun released her first album this year with name This is hyony. [...] I can say im love her aldrey in 5 sec. [...] Come on can you hear from breavheart theme as she took to hers own intro and edited it sounds like it.

This is not so much a bad joke as completely unintelligible fangirlcruft. --King of All the Franks 07:54, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

I think I can say "im love her aldrey" in about 1 or 2 seconds. JIP | Talk 08:31, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

From Fork (disambiguation)

Okay, so this is over a year old, but I don't think it's in here yet:

Fork may also mean:

• Bicycle fork, the part of a bicycle to which the front wheel is generally attached. Rarely, a fork used for eating bicycles.

From Canadian federal election

Shortly after midnight (ET) on January 24, 2006, incumbent Prime Minister Paul Martin conceded defeat, and announced, like a sour loser who refuse to let the winner enjoy the win, that he will resign as leader of the Liberal Party.

Suitly emphazi

Is Ms-word a word processing package? If yes suitly emphazi

Yes, Microsoft Word. 62.119.184.141 12:27, 24 January 2006 (UTC)

Now suitly emphazi it. --Optichan 16:52, 24 January 2006 (UTC)

Uhm, I did suitably emphasize it. I made it a link. Click it. Is that not easy enough? TERdON 23:05, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

May I humbly request that "Now suitly emphazi it!" become a WP:RD running joke? --Sum0 23:15, 24 January 2006 (UTC)

Yes, it can be used to "suitly emphazi" the importance of checking your own typing, LOL. StuRat 15:36, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

Excellent, it's catching on! --Sum0 15:55, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

Mmm. Wikipedia:Civility: "Petty examples that contribute to an uncivil environment... belittling contributors because of their language skills or word choice". We should be using clear English here anyway, there's no need complicate answers.--Commander Keane 19:46, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

I agree that sometimes the RD can be a little unkind to honest contributors, and I don't like it when it's like that, but when it's just between us editors, ya know... Anyway, I digress. --Sum0 20:05, 25 January 2006 (UTC)

What is all of this about, "suitly emphazi"? I keep seeing it all over the reference desk, what does it mean? Yeltensic42.618 don't panic 01:23, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

If you look at the top of this item, you will see that the author misspelled "suitably emphasize" as "suitly emphazi". Some of us found such poor spelling and lack of checking one's own typing to be quite entertaining. StuRat 01:33, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

Oh, okay, so this is where it all started? I'd seen it other places first, didn't realize this item was its birthplace. Thanks. I wonder how far it's spread? Yeltensic42.618 don't panic 07:05, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

Yes this is the birthpalce. You have just outlined the problem with this runnnig joke - it's confusing. Even to regulars like Yeltensic42.618. I'm sure an Edit > Find search in your browser will outline the spread.--Commander Keane 09:22, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

From Man card

Introduction
The Man Card (sometimes referred to as man-card or guy-card) is a metaphorical representation of the Man Code (an unspoken code of ethics between all men, everywhere).

History
No information is available at this time. The Man Card has been referred to in countless television shows, movies and has been a staple of the male culture in the United States since at least the early 1980's.

Issuance
All men are issued Man Cards at birth, however earning & losing man points does not occur until the man is able to comprehend the consequences of his actions.

Man Points
Since the card is metaphorical in nature, manly actions do not physically accrue points. However, older males are required to pass on their skills to younger males in the group through either instruction or rites of passage. In rare instances, Women may earn man cards if they possess and / or display masculine skills. For example, if a woman can physically defeat a male of equal, lesser, or greater size, she is "granted" a man card of her own. This may only be done by members of the defeated male's peer group. Women may not issue man points, nor can they be involved in any judging, selection, or other activity where man points may be awarded except as spectators or commentators unless they have been issued man cards of their own.

Revocation
Man cards may be temporarily revoked at any time, by any other man, for actions that do not meet the Man Code. Permanent revocation is not possible, however if a substantial infraction or violation has occurred, the card holder in question may be shunned or ostracized from the group.

Example activities warranting revocation

• Hitting a woman (physically or verbally) unless in self defense
• Being unable to honor your commitments
• Drinking a girly drink
• Skill failure: Inability to light a fire under calm conditions, operate power tools, change a tire
• Cowardice: showing fear of spiders, snakes or insects; retreating from a challenge to do battle when evenly matched
• Displaying unmanly behavior publicly without cause: ie crying over minor injuries, whining
• Concern over appearance in a feminine manner

Challenge of revocation
If a male attempts to revoke the man card of another male, this revocation can be challenged immediately through an act of bravery or other display of manly skill unless the offense is so great as to be insurmountable.

From Nicholas III of Russia

According to conspiracy theorists, there never was a tsar Nicholas III of Russia. The Revisionists, however, are convinced that he is living in a cavern in Warsaw plotting to revive the Russian Empire. He is also alleged to be responsible for the mysterious disappearance of Elvis. However, according to esteemed Greek Academic Neoptolemus Karakos, this is capitalist propaganda. The theory that he was responsible for awarding the Bee Gees their first recording contract is, according to Karakos, @a symptom of the bowdlerizing misempathetic attitudising of the russian people and will not be tolerated by anyone outside of northern siberia.

The O'Reilly Sandwich

The O'Reilly Sandwich is a Breakfast Sandwich created by Chris Bradley while watching the O'Reilly show. It consists of Two Slices of Wonder Bread, Two Slices of American Cheese, and Two Microwaved Eggs.

It has been said that in the future it may be served with falafel.

Other Complementary food items include Product 19 cereal with a healthy dose of Milk.

And whichever Juice happens to be available.

Required Viewing

FoxNews at around 4:45 AM EST

Source

Chris Bradley 10:31, 27 January 2006 (UTC)

Cock Juggling Thundercunt

If the contributor didn't make this up (if he or she did, then this is original research), maybe we could have an expanded article on this. Otherwise, bring down the 16-ton weight upon it, give it the old heave-ho, or strike this thundercunt with lightning. Yeltensic42.618 15:25, 21 November 2005 (UTC)

From Talk:Rasmuffin Productions

Don't delete this

there are three reasons not to delete this article.

1.rasmuffinproductions is an awesome site

2.this site will be big someday

3.this article takes up hardly any space. Therefore, there is no need to delete it!

Unfortunately, since this is not a free webhost, there are rules for what articles can be about. See WP:WEB for the specific guidelines in this instance. Thanks. --W.marsh 03:46, 27 January 2006 (UTC)

4. I love Rasmuffin productions

5. I will be so mad if anyone takes this article off!!!óŰøöTemplate:Ő

6. You'll feel bad when the site is making tons of money and they give you no donations.

7. W.Marsh should be nice and let it stay. He will be my favorite person if he does!

Hmm ... we'll have to revise the deletion criteria to consider those last two.

Needless to say, this article also has a pending deletion vote with some particularly sloppy sockpuppeting and invective.

Big Bird Rodeo

Definition

The Big Bird Rodeo is a slang term for a game played in pubs and clubs throughout the United Kingdom.

Rules

The game starts with a gentleman choosing a rather large lady to dance with. Once he has initiated the dancing, he has to lock his arms as tightly as he can around her stomach and whisper an appropriate insult. Usually, this is something to do with the lady's weight or appearance. Then, he must see how long he can hang on for before he either falls off or is dealt with by the local constabulary.

Origins

The origins of the game are unclear, most likely the game was started as a simple joke on a night out. However, the link between the game and the word 'rodeo' are obvious.

World Records

The longest a gentleman has held on for is not known. There have not been many attempts at gathering this information on a global scale.

The Peawe

The peawe (Kingdom: Animalia, Phylum: Chordata, Class: Mammalia, Order: Rodentia, Suborder: Mallei, Infraorder: Disyntitia, Superfamily: Hispanidia, Family: viscoscia, Subfamily: cifidicia, Genus: peawiaii) is the name of the genus of the (allegedly) cutest living organism in south-east asia. Typically having long black, purple or yellow fur, wings, short, curly horns and a complete set of 34 teeth, and usually 30-40cm long. The animal is a native of malaysia. The peawe was named after Sir Llyod Fredrick Peawe who was the first western scientist to discover, eat and reasearch them in 1901. The peawe normally travel in groups or herds of about 10-20, the peawe is about the size of an average cat. Typically living around 14-15 years, the Peawe is a nocturnal animal that dwells in small cracks, crevices and holes. The peawes will first ambush their prey as a pack, hiding in or around any thick foliage nearby. It will then maul its victim vicously, attacking the eyes, legs and arm joints, followed with a high pitched cry signalling their victory after the prey is subdued. The peawes base diet is animal matter such as small lizards, birds and mammals, but seems to have a particular preference for large mammals such as cats, dogs or even pandas, along with a health supply of grapes. It has often, however, shown an aversion to eating fellow peawes. The peawe dislikes strong sour smells as they irritae the nasal lobes of the creature and the yolk of a fresh egg produces an irritant smell which will ward off the peawe temporarily.

The peawe is not closely related to any other known animal, aside from being a very unusual rodent. It is perhaps the only known animal to evolve progressively by replacing its predecessors and hardly diversifying at all, in a single genus line.

Varieties

There is a total of 7 diiferent peawe species, though they are all largely similar.

The most abundant species is the Common Peawe, which has a dark, brown-purple fur and shorter horns. other varieties include the Hairy-footed Peawe, the Green-Breasted Peawe and the largest species of them all, ataining a length of up to 60cm the Giant Peawe.

From RAF

The Roslyn Always Farts (often abbreviated to RAF) is the air force branch of the British Armed Forces.

From a really funny template...

Multi-licensed with Creative Communism

I agree to multi-license my text contributions, unless otherwise stated, under the GFDL and the terms of creative communism. Use it as you seem fit. Spread it. Take what you want, add, remove, change and improve. Why not sign with you own name and claim authorship? One rule, however: Don't you ever try subjecting this material under the terms of copyright, intellectual property, or similar licenses of evil. Please be aware that other contributors might not do the same, so if you want to use my contributions under the terms of communism, please check the multi-licensing guide, or use a peer-to-peer network to override such restrictions of free use.

There's some vandalism Wikipedia can't buy. For everything else, there's Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense.

Kajigabyte

A kajigabyte (derived from absolutely no root word) is a unit of information or computer storage equal to one gajillion (one long scale bajillion or 10^zillion) bytes. It is commonly abbreviated KJB.

It is true that no storage method has achieved such great capacities, though the Google facilities are approaching the mark. The amount of information that could potentially be contained in this unit includes the position and quantum numbers of every electron of every atom on the planet Earth, every word ever spoken by a human, and the life story of every person living in Tibet.

It is a commonly known fact that if every byte in a kajigabyte represented one atom, the resulting compilation of particles would be equal to the mass of Superman's home planet Thyoph.

See also

• Bajigabyte
• Gajigabyte
• Ziggabyte
• Niggabyte
• Binary prefix
• Orders of magnitude

From template:user gop

This user is a GOP supporter.

The Most Humorous Pope (from Pope John XXIII)

(Congratulations to User:Popejoe, who slipped in this entire section at once, where it went undiscovered for ten solid days. --Aaron 04:17, 29 January 2006 (UTC))

Pope John XXIII has been considered the funniest pope in Papal History. Mentioned earlier, he was acclaimed for his fantastic sense of humor. For example, when he was elected in the Sistine Chapel, Cardinal Tisserant, the Dean of Cardinals at the time, informed him his election. The newly-elected pope began to solemnly profess his humble attributes -- and suddenly broke off saying, "And now let us have lunch! I am hungry!"

He publicly informed the world that the Papal Chair was the "most uncomfortable chair" he had ever sat on

He called the microphone of the Apostolic Palace an "awful draft" during the Easter Blessing.

One of the most amusing moments in the history of Pope John XXIII was when he was a Monsignor. He was at a luncheon one day, and he was seated next to a woman whose dress was cut overgenerously at the chest. When dessert was served, the future Holy Father offered the lady his apple. When she showed signs of confusion, the jovial future Pontiff humorously said, "Do take it, Madame; for when Eve actually ate the apple, she realized how little she was wearing!"

From New Jersey

Amongst the things to do in New Jersey:

• Engage in self-loathing and general misanthropy
• Sit in traffic
• Curse your fellow man
• Curse your government
• Curse yourself
• Suicide
• Pay tolls
• Make a left turn

Territorial marking

Animals have a tendency to mark the same area as other animals. For example, if a dog urinates on a patch of grass, other dogs will urinate on the same patch of grass. This will go on until the grass is nothing but a dried up dead patch of yellow. This form of one-upmanship (or one-updogship) is similar to the way wikis work. Too many peers spoil the underlying grass.

Chuck Norris

Carlos Ray Norris Jr., known as Chuck Norris, (born 1940-03-10), is a martial artist, an American action movie actor and Hollywood star. Once, he walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

From Alan Falconer

Alan Falconer (born 1969, Dulltown, Scotland) is an actor, singer and model, most famous for his roles in American pornographic films, and his cover versions of popular country and western hits.

Early life

Alan Falconer was born on 1 April 1969, to Howard and Hilda Falconer, although rumours persisted from an early age that his parents found him under a gooseberry patch, with a note pinned to his shirt saying "Please look after this bear."

Musical careeer

In his youth, Alan was a fan of the country and music genre, and in his teens, formed a c&w band called "Captain Spangle and the Expediters", who performed cover versions of hits by the Bellamy Brothers and Kenny Rogers. Sadly, the band met with limited success, and broke up in 1987 after a fight broke out on stage between Falconer and his lead guitarist, Reg MacDonald, over the correct chord structure of "Let Your Love Flow", a fight which resulted in the defenestration of MacDonald from the upper floors of the venue they were performing in.

A very subtle hoax save for the Paddington bit ...

Proper punctuation of words describing Pokemon transsexual acts

Put a period at the end of the sentence.

Ah, yes. Brevity really IS wit! Oh, and this little gem was tagged with a Japanese location stub notice.

Douche (from US Congress IP)

Scott Mclellan added to "Douche"

This is funny because members of the United States Congress did it.

Capital Cities and Tombs of the Ancient Koguryo Kingdom

Pyong-yang that is North Korea's capital now was selected by world cultural inheritance as that is proved in Goguryeo's piped water in last time. North Korea's history museum or Pyong-yang class culture center, Pyong-yang though education center is doing lecture about Goguryeo's history relics. North Korea's history scholars are appropriating royal palace now by old royal palace lot that Goguryeo's kings of "Anhakgung"("Attainment of greatness area" of "Pyong-yang special city under the direct control of the central government") of "Pyong-yang anger" use.

Does this mean that Kim Jong-Il is now a Wikipedian?

Gyeongjong of Goryeo

...and as if that last little gem wasn't enough, here's some more from the same user:

Alarm bell is fifth emperor of consideration king's direct rule. Alarm bell is firstborn eldest son of storehouse species that is fourth emperor of consideration king's direct rule, and first son before yellow wife most important occasion of storehouse species. He enforced "Jeonsigwa", and compare plunder of Kitan beef or pork hock and tried greatly in national defense policy. When alarm bell dies in 960, anger species that is sixth king became consideration's emperor.

Pork barreling sure has been around a long time, hasn't it?

Previous Page — Next Page