So Long, and Thanks for All the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Reference to So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish, one of the books in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy."

Jimmy Shea[edit]

Another Jimmy Shea is well known, but not well documented on the internet. Jimmy Shea of Newofoundland was well known for his abnormal sized "bulge" located in his usually wasted out Levi jeans, as well as his stocky figure. He has be known to take a shape of a parabolic curve in transporation from one area of intrest to another. Rumors have been told this long lost legend has had his shins removed, and now mearly has feet attacthed to this upper legs. He has been known to travel fast speeds even with his disibility, documents say this is because his bulge provides him with "magic powers" from another planet. A research team is currently working on locating this legend who has been lost from the public eye since 2000.


America- Slippery when wet


Not to be confused with a shoe

A shoe is an article of clothing which is normally worn as protection for ones feet.

A hat is a shoe which is worn on the head

A bunch of France jokes...[edit]

Q: Why do the French smell? A: So blind people can hate them too!

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender; or at least show them how to not join in a war like they did (along with 97% of the rest of the world!)

(Alternative) A. We don't. We can start a civil war in Iraq on our own thanks!

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried. It doesn't matter though. Now France has nuclear weapons, chances are nobody will be attacking them soon. If only they had them at the start of WWII they might not have surrended, but who knows.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have? A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman? A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

A. The Army.

Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

Quotes on the French:

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." —Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." —Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." —P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." —John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." —Argus Hamilton

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." —Dennis Miller

"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." —Dennis Miller

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people." —Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" —Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." —David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

From List of obese kids[edit]

BJAODN Note: Names have been changed to protect those mentioned, or something like that.

Bob Smith:He is in third grade weights more than 3 out of 4 sixth graders.You can just see that he is fat.One day he had a struggle with putting on his pants.Another day at school(Christ the King Academy)his belly was showing because his shirt was to small.He is totally fat!!!!!Around 100 lbs!!!

Jane Doe:She is just so fat shes totally sucks in P.E.She is slow and sucks at sports.Shes is totally disgusting and annoying.Around 100 lbs in fourth grade.

Fred McDonald: He is a sixth grader at Christ the King Academy.The only one who is not skinnier than Steven Potts.He weighs around 150 lbs.He is the slowest in P.e.He takes about 45 min. to get done with laps.The scholl uniforms are to small.The Wednesday buttoned uniform can barely stayed buttoned.His poops are HUGE!!!He cant fit in his older 14-year old brother's clothes.At the reatraunts the booths,he gets stuck in.At home he sits down with his shirt barely covering his huge fat belly eats all day and watches t.v.His room is a mess with chip bags pee puddles candy rappers.He doesn't even move to go to the bathroom.He smells BAD!!!!He moves to go eat breakfast,lunch,or dinner.He also moves to get loads of more food.To shorten it he's totally fat,lazy,a hog,porker,oinker,smelly,and didgusting.

Santa:He is a relatively round, bright red man who likes to waddle. His reindeers have arthiritis and eat carrots. He sneaks into your house at night and leaves with a bag of toys. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you were bad or good. Does anyone else find that weird?

From Penis[edit]

The penis (plural penises or penes) or phallus is an external male sexual organ. The penis is the male reproductive organ and for mammals additionally serves as the external male organ of urination. It basically shoots cum out of it, and girls eat it, and then screams of pleasure, and jail bait, and getting banged in jail, and dying with it erect! WOODY!.

New Game[edit]

A neat trifecta of "Ways to ensure your article gets nominated for deletion" (As it did)

new games are games that you and your friends have made up amungts yourselves, and would like to share with the rest of the world. If one finds himself (or herself) with a few friends and a little too much time on his hands, and would like to occupy that time, continue reading below.


Twiggy is not Leslie Hornby. Twiggy is in fact a highly intelligent piece of wood that i found at the bottom of my garden. He is 143 years old and has a beard. All hail Twiggy!


  • Gwar vocalist Oderus Urungus has named his enormous, terrifying penis the 'Cuttlefish of Ctulu'.

From Cinderella[edit]


The fairy tale of Cinderella caused a controversy in late 1997 when Rev. Daniel Camille of Falls Church, made the startling argument that Cinderella contained hidden allusions to methamphetamine addiction. The basic outline of his argument was a comparison between the actions of Cinderella and the typical methamphetamine user.


  • Stays up all night cleaning.
  • Sings and dances with mice.
  • Is a very depressed loner.
  • Is visited by a "fairy grandmother" at night.
  • Thinks her carriage will turn into a pumpkin.

Methamphetamine addicts:

  • Frequently enjoy repetitive actions like cleaning.
  • May form a strange or unusual peer group.
  • Are frequently depressed and lonely.
  • Hallucinate after not sleeping for days.
  • Exhibit paranoid and/or delusional behavior.

Additionally, Rev. Camille alludes that the "glass slipper" of legend may be a reference to the oil pipe, used to smoke methamphetamine and referred to by methamphetamine users as "glass ---," where the --- may be almost any object or anatomical feature.

Many have denied Rev. Camille's accusations, but, being a fairy tale, Cinderella has no official spokesman. Nevertheless, there seems to be an almost constant, incessant banter about this issue from Cinderella.


If you are in culinary school or a professional kitchen, you should always use the chef's definition of simmering. Otherwise you may get assraped in the grading.


GG-Bomb---As the saying goes "Man Myth Legend?"

The GG-bomb is a mystical figure who first appeared over 100 years ago. Famed for his elusivness his very existence is highly questionable. Legend has it that the GG-Bomb was born in Ireland sometime around the late 1800's, he is reported to be of the Genghis Khan lineage. One of the GG-Bomb's many talents has been to mask or alter his appearance to take on the form of anyone, a couple of examples of this include; Tom Cruise,Eeyore (of Winnie the Pooh fame), Shaggy from Scooby Doo and numerous other people. This is not a hoax!


More recently there have been sightings of the GG-Bomb in and around the Austrian Alps. One of the most undeniable sightings was in the early nineties when the GG-Bomb was seen by almost 700 people when the GG-Bomb stormed the stage at a Daniel O'Donnell concert. It is believed the GG-Bomb was upset because "wee Daniel" wouldnt play a song requested by a close friend of the GG-Bomb's mother. The police refused to comment on the matter even though the GG-Bomb was reportedly arrested and held in a cell for the night. His fame stems from the early 1900's when the GG-Bomb would room carelessly around (not fearful of today's modern technolgy), he would regularly be seen at stare studded events trying to steal the limelight. Reports of these occurances can be seen in many of the era's newspapers but never under the guise of GG-Bomb, he would routinely change his name, once he was even known as G-Unit. (This is where the modern day rap group is said to have gotten their name from!)

If you ever see or here of instances relating to the GG-Bomb, please contact your local SGC (search for GG-Bomb Centre) immediately.

And from GG-Bomb's AfD page[edit]

  • Speedy delete per G1, patent nonsense—tagged. — orioneight (talk) 20:52, 21 February 2006 (UTC)
    • Comment: That makes this article one of the few to exist in all three deletion systems -- prod, AfD, and CSD. That is not a good sign for this article. --WCQuidditch 22:00, 21 February 2006 (UTC)
      • Today, we heard a terrible cry from the throats of a million nn-bio subjects: OUCH. --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 01:55, 22 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete "This is not a hoax!" Oh yes it is - Template:Tl.  (aeropagitica)  20:53, 21 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Speedy delete as a... thing with little context and as a nonnotable person, if not even as pseudo-coherent nonsense, depending on if you squint at the article right. Assuming the author is talking about themselves, this isn't a hoax, but let's not bother ourselves finding tons of sources and ve-ree-fy-eng things when we have here what appears to be a prime example of a Nonnotable Bio which certainly doesn't contribute much to the great scheme of things. --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 01:55, 22 February 2006 (UTC)

Jeffrey Lanteigne[edit]

Jeffrey D. Lanteigne is considered by some to be a modern medical miracle, or massacre, depending on who you ask (and if that person knows him at all). His ailments range from ADHD to neurocardiogenic syncope to his recent death and resuscitation in 2005. His antics in his daily life have sometimes grown into legends that cross state lines. A peculiar fact about Jeffrey is that he has no uvula, tonsils, or adenoids and is missing most of his soft pallet, thus he cannot stop food or drink from entering his sinuses (or exiting his nose)!

Some of the more recent adventures include:

Massive burning of dead christmas trees (resulting in a huge fireball)

The one year anniversary of his death

Tossing a sack of fireworks into an open flame (resulting in a huge fireball)

Accidentally having a can of Mountain Dew explode inside of his Xbox (resulting in a moderately sized fireball)

Attending at least twelve thousand weddings since 2004

Building a pirate ship out of a shopping cart and a piece of cardboard

Beating a computer with a baseball bat

Beating a Television with a golf club

Destroying a computer monitor with a katana

Jeffrey lives with his family in Indianapolis, but spends much of his time doing things that most people don't.

Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/The Dog Dies at the End[edit]

The Dog Dies at the End[edit]

original research-cruft-vanity about a nn book. Contains such goodies as "J.J "Big Dick" Johnson and "This book was really published. really". Obvious hoax. Kill the redirect page too. savidan(talk) (e@) 06:56, 18 February 2006 (UTC)

Only it never said "Big dick" any where in the article. That's completely made up. I don't even know why I said that. Apparently jokes between friends aren't allowed on Wikipedia, and we need to delete it, just incase the feds ask us to prove the facts we don't have to prove thanks to THE FISRT AMENDMENT JACKASS The preceding unsigned comment was added by Criplercrosface9 (talk • contribs) 07:01, 18 February 2006.
  • Delete Per nom, per comment above, per article text :-P --lightdarkness (talk) 07:19, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete, as per comment above from original author. Lankiveil 07:26, 18 February 2006 (UTC) (this is fun!)
  • Delete Nonsense. BobbyLee 07:28, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
  • The Dog Dies at the End ISBN 0060186313 No, just kidding. Delete There are better uses of the First Amendment. Maybe try Uncyclopedia if they go for In-jokes. Schizombie 07:36, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
They don't!  freshgavinΓΛĿЌ  07:50, 18 February 2006 (UTC)

I really didn't call him Big Dick though. What the hell is that about? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Criplercrosface9 (talk • contribs) 07:25, 18 February 2006.

What kind of world is it that I get in trouble for adding nonsense, while there are people adding "Big Dick" to people's names. Oh yeah, and then I get blamed for it. Template:Unsigned

  • Delete, and encourage User:Criplercrosface9 to envision a calm blue ocean ... User:Adrian/zap2.js 09:12, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete. I think I'll write a book (or maybe a short story) with this title. And I'm gonna kill the damn dog at the end too. Weregerbil 15:26, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Everybody Take a deep breath, then Delete. --Maxamegalon2000 21:27, 18 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete and put this article and discussion out of their collective misery. Daniel Case 01:48, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete, for the love of all that is Wiki, delete! --Avery W. Krouse 05:19, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per nom. Ardenn 06:09, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete Nonsense. --Dogbreathcanada 09:38, 20 February 2006 (UTC)

... ...



Corridor cricket[edit]

Introduction- To a Cambridge Tradition[edit]

What can only be described as a technically complex, physically demanding and mentally taxing experience. The relatively unknown distraction of Corridor Cricket is gaining momentum in corridors up and down England. The roots of the modern game of as we know it can be traced to the historic University town of Cambridge, England as far back as 1943 by a pioneering group of young men from a variety of backgrounds and homelands. Namely, Leeds, Nottingham, York, Ipswich, London and Solihull. It is a well known Cambridge tradition that any corridor long enough be used to practice cricket in the winter months. This has developed into a much more refined game over the years. While it is undoubtably clear that other similar games exist. This is the only chronicled set of rules followed in Cambridge. The basic premise is that a twist on normal 'outdoor' cricket is achieved by simply playing an adapted version of the classic game within a confined, highly populated and quite hot corridor.


The origins of modern corridor cricket are based on a variant of 'alley cricket' which grew out of alleys in Ealing, West London. The rules of the modern game are almost unchanged from those of alley cricket, however the pace of the game and the psycological element have evolved rapidly and are now a far cry from the original. Although most of the modern jargon and sledging involved in the modern game cannot be traced back to the original, one remnant of 'alley cricket' jargon still remains in the game. The phrase 'Tommy Turner' used to describe a bowl with excessive swing/spin is a tribute to Thomas Turner, a family friend of the original players of alley cricket. A ball which took a wicket with excessive spin was often then lifted from a 'Tommy Turner' to a 'Roger Turner' - Thomas' father, though this jargon appears to have been lost in the modern game.

Rules - To Practice Cricket Indoors In The Winter Months[edit]

The rules are necessarily quite different from traditional cricket as we shall see below:


The traditional time to start play is 5pm GMT. Shoes must never be worn, players are encouraged to wear a 'PE Kit' where possible due to the extreme sweat inducing temperatures in the corridor- approx 45-55 degrees C or just less than a domestic oven. Pads are unneccesary and players wearing them are historically frowned upon for being 'soft'. Although they do make physical 'sledging' less painful.


The ball is a standard tennis ball half of which is covered with tape in order that swing be achieved to decieve and anger the batsman. The bat is a standard cricket bat, preferably not too large due to the increased risk of striking the ceiling/wall/lights. The wicket is any large, solid object such as a table, box or bins (particularly satisfying for the bowler due to ease of denting and sound).


One can be out in a number of ways. Caught (rare), edged behind (common), hitting the ceiling (rare), stumped (controversial) or clean bowled (common). Appeals are common and frantic, especially where the batsman is clearly not out where a loud, aggressive appeal can unnerve the batsman or simply annoy him incredibly, thus causing him to lose concentration.


The bowler has to adapt their stance due to the low ceiling and often dangling wires left by lazy/drunk/shoddy workmen. This has led to strange bowling practices such as the legendary 'kneeling queen' stance adopted by W.T Anderson one of the founding fathers of the modern game, or the barefaced 'throw' of Leroy Rowley 'The Yorkshire Rapper'. Spin is a common element of the bowling, 'Tommy Turner' being a common call ringing down the corridor from the bowler or any other spectator, as is pace with many an injury sustained to anyone who is brave/stupid enough to not move out of the way of a 'mustardised' delivery. Overs are standard six ball affairs except for Maginnis whose mathematical abilities allowed him to bowl anything from 11 to 14 balls an over.

At The Crease[edit]

Runs are scored by hitting the ball either past the fielder in the doorway for a single, or past the bowler for either a four or a six. Runs may also be gained if the bowler bowls three 'wall balls' in an over. This awards one run to the batsman, the use of sledging is crucial in this type of situation to exert pressure on the bowler to hit the wall or ceiling. A ten is a possibility if you reach the holy grail of the end of the corridor without a bounce, this is rare and also rather dangerous for the coridoor's innocent non-cricketers who are numerous, often angry and always tedious. Tens are a rare, special moment especially in competititive situations. A test match ten has never been recorded and some experts believe it never will. However a recent one day, two innings match saw W.T Anderson hit two tens to win the game for his team who, up until that point had been performing horrendously.

Founding Fathers from 1943[edit]

James Blundell: Speciality- Spin/Turn. Most likely to shout: 'Tommy Turner'. Least likely to shout: 'I dislike rough oatcakes/cycling/Dylan'

Gareth Payne: Speciality- Fast Bowling aka 'Mustard'. Most likely to shout: 'Sorry I just bowled it at your head/eye/body/face'. Least likely to shout: 'I just banged my head on the ceiling'

Sam Thorpe: Speciality: Hitting the ceiling. Most likely to shout: 'I'm bleeding/injured/out' Least likely to shout: 'The Pet Shop Boys are rubbish'

William T Anderson: Speciality: All rounder/Batting. Most likely to shout: 'My knee is bleeding/I'm not called Peter Crouch' Least likely to shout: 'You're taller than me'

Brendan Maginnis: Speciality: In-swinging bowls. Most likely to shout: 'Dealio' Least likely to shout: 'Hurry up' Notes: Huge overs bowled (circa 14 balls)

Leroy Rowley: Speciality: Throwing. Most likely to shout: 'That wasn't a throw' Least likely to shout: 'Let's stop playing practical jokes now lads, they're not funny'

Tom 'Curls' Whyntie: Speciality: Getting out. Most likely to shout: 'I'm out' Least likely to shout: 'I'm going to hit a ten/those shoes are too big for me' Notes: Low self confidence.

Technical Jargon[edit]

'Tommy Turner' = Ball with a lot of spin

'Bumming it' = Excessive use of posterior to block ball. As championed by the late, great, Brendan Manginis

'Taping up' = Taping half of a tennis ball for swing

'Wall Ball' = Ball striking wall on bowling. 3 in an over is a run to the batsman.

'Mustardiser' = Recklessly/excessively fast ball

'Ceiling Strike' = Bat hitting ceiling, often causing vast damage.

'Hall anyone?' = Usually signifies the ned of an nets session/test.

'Sledging' = Very effective if used correctly. Consists of insults/criticism usually, but not solely, at the opposition with the aim being distraction. Particularly effective on 'The face' Maginnis.

'Good Cricket All Round' = General appreciation of a fine bowl, shot and fielding sequence. Usually good sportsmanship however is often used sarcastically/maliciously/hilariously to mock weaker players.

'Will he walk?' = Encouragement/bullying of the batsman into departing from the crease after an appeal. Often used to effectively exploit the good nature of players such as Martin Brundle.

'Bowling Shane' = Recognition of a particularly fine bowl. Often shouted in an Aussie accent, particularly amusing when combined with the Solihull drawl of Maginnis.

'Facialised' = Refers to a ball striking the face of the batsman, dangerous yet is often accompanied by a chorus of laughter from the other team.

'Line and Length' = Good pitch and bowling line, usually simply used as encouragement can be applied with sarcasm to great effect regarding wall balls.

'Chinese edge' = Ball grazing inside edge of bat and narrowly passing leg stump. Quite racist but common.

'Economical over' = Again, usually used sarcastically/mockingly at the bowler if the batsman is scoring highly from a particular bowler but can be positive observation.

'Full Face' = Batsman trying to claim that he hit the ball squarely and not an edge. Quite often a last claim of the desparate or just lies.

'The Gate' = Gap between bat and body, small but can be found and bowled through in order to clean bowl the batsman. Remarkably common and often impressive.

'Flipper' = Term used by Jamie Brundle, in an Aussie accent and normally when some sort of spin is imparted onto the bowl. Not so common today.

'Seeing it like a football/spacehopper' = Batsman playing confidently and effectively. Common Anderson claim.

'The Wall' = Blundell's nickname for himself as an impenentrable batting defence. Bizzarely refers to himself in the third person. Ridiculous.

'LBW' = A very effective sledging technique. Used more liberally than in conventional cricket, shouts for LBW can be heard when the ball hits any part of the batsmans body. Whether the batsman walks is another matter usually dependent on intensity of the calls and the good nature of the batsman. Common claiments include Brundle, Thorne and Payne.

'Wait/Hang on' = Signifies the presence of another corridor dweller trying to get to their room/kitchen. Usually Stavros, sometimes one of the girls. Always slow, always annoying and stops play. Ideally should be eradicated from the modern game/banned from leaving their rooms between 5pm-6pm such as is the case in the Netherlands.

woooo yeah i used to play this all the time at my grans :D Ghingo 14:49, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

Fashion Futurism[edit]

Futurism in relation to the philosophy of clothes (alternatively known as Post Apparelism) is a theory on the progression of fashion proposed in the year 2004 by notable modern day social critic Tom Windram who has a doctrate of sociology and philosophy. This theory was his sociology thesis, and won him respect in the erudite circles. It basically details the progress of clothes in an ever increasing segregation.

Basic Theory[edit]

The basic theory is that as time has progressed, the nature of clothes has been more and more a manner of segregation. In the olden days we wore a simple robe or a suit of armour, wheras nowdays we wear much more. We have many different things to cover specialist parts of the body. Dr Windram suggested this was analoguous with capitalism itself, in that we had to specialise everything. It was suggested in the thesis that this segregation was promoted by the fashion companies to not only make money, but also encourage personal individualism which is the backbone of neo capitalism. As time progresses, we can expect to see more and more specialist clothes, until sleeves are sold seperate from the shirt, and the sleeves are divided up into miny arm bands. One day we will be walking around with confetti pieces.

Social Impact[edit]

The theory has had much social impact. In fact in Perth, and Adelaide an activist union for anti clothes segregation was started. They used the thesis as a manifesto of a new fashion order and decided that the war on clothes was the war on capitalism. These are alternatively named the naked neo marxists, or the nude lefties. But some followers feel this group is extremist and they believe that it is not necessary to renounce clothing altogether, which they feel is a perfectly natural thing - but instead to get rid of the names of clothes. All articles of clothing should just be called apparel. or alternatively, ----wear. where --- is where the wear is worn.


Many philosophers have called the theory foolish romanticizing and stated that clothes naturally Evolve, and split up. This is why the hat can no longer mate with the shoe. Because they are totally different species. They say this theory is nothing more than a lament for simpler times with the natural progression given an easily attackable label "capitalism".

Postmodern Feminists have attacked the thesis for promoting patriarchal oppression of women and oedipal meta narratives and myths. the Gramma involved is specifically mysoginistic, and shows a strong hatred of women. one feminist said this "Because this was written by a man, it encourages women to read it from a male point of view thus defying our woman hood through the metanarratives *mumble mumble* oedipal *mumble* phalocentric patriarchy."

Some philosophers have said "I dont believe i exist, so how can this be relevant?"

criticism to the criticism[edit]

In reply to this criticism Dr. Windram sung the song "I want to know.. have you ever seen the rain" At thursdays schnitzel and karaoke night.

It was well received.


Fashion and Futurism - the coming apocalypse by Tom Windram.


from Types of Boglins[edit]

Nazi Boglins were modelled after various key members of the SS.

List of sitting U.S. Vice Presidents who have shot people[edit]

This is the last revision of the article by its original author. It was subsequently cleaned up to remove everything but the two factual events, and then deleted after an AfD discussion.

The following is a list of U.S. Vice Presidents who have shot people while in office.

Interesting Facts About Toasters[edit]

A classic example of the device known as a Toaster
  • Toasters are made primarily in the United States. This a glaring example of an Imperialist Yankee attempt to crush the Slovakian economy, of which the toaster is their main export.
  • Invented by Sir Henry Toaster in 1786. His knighthood, which he had gain for services to aromatherapy, was annuled forthwith. The ability to toast bread in 2-3 minutes was viewed with suspicion in Georgian England.
  • In 1854 the makers of toasters won a tense legal battle with a fierce Mongolian Warlord, who had previously invented Kublai Khan's man toaster machine, (which consisted mainly of coal, iron and burnt Chinamen) over the rights to the name toaster.
  • In 1986, the 200th anniversary of the Toaster celebration, held in Chernobyl, Ukrainian SSR, turned into a disaster when sparks from Sir Henry's original toaster set off a chain reaction which caused the local nuclear power station to exploded, leaving thousands dead from nuclear fallout. The infamous toaster was never found, local authorites decided to stop looking and that everybody should just get on with their lives.

From Yaki[edit]

A yaki is a loser who puts fake definitions on Wikipedia.

From Cell church[edit]


Note: This was the entire content of the article. Apparently Wikipedians spend so much time debating, they have no time to write the actual articles.

From Master Chief[edit]

He is comprised of 2% Human 3% Metal Alloy and 95% Badass.

From The Aristocrats[edit]

A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."

The man says, "But, this is really special."

The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"

He replies, "Well, first, I slowly walk out onto the stage. All the lights are off except for a single spotlight focused on my firmly erected penis. From a trap door just in front of me, my wife rises up, with our newborn son in her hands. The music begins and the lights slowly rise as she begins to place my newborns ass onto my penis. She moves him back and forth, faster and faster as the music gets louder and louder. With a crash of a cymbal the baby shoots off my penis and flys over the crowd with a stream of cum spurting out of him. As the baby lands my two daughters escort four male Great Danes out onto the stage. The four of us bend over, and the dogs fuck us in the ass. You see us there being fucked raw until blood begins to drip from our asses. My daughters, unable to handle this immense amount of ass fucking start shitting everywhere. Their gushing diarrhea covers the dogs. Turned on by the diarrhea, the dogs fuck each other until they fall over dead. Meanwhile, my daughters are continuously shitting and bleeding and vomiting from the sight of all of their shit and blood. My wife and I begin to use all of this excrement as a slip and slide. All of us are covered from head to toe. At this point my fifteen year old son rolls out on his wheelchair covered in olive oil and begins the massive orgy. Did I mention he is a bisexual bulimic mentally disabled boy? Anyway, I’m fucking my wife and daughters and my son while they are all fucking each other. At this point several cowboy midgets wearing assless chaps come out and rope us together. Naw I’m just kidding, we would never use midgets, that’s just wrong. They are actually going to be fifth graders. Anyway, the cowboy fifth graders walk up to us and stick their asses onto me and my son’s dicks. The other two midges fuck my daughters as my wife frees us from the rope. When the fifth graders run away a sixty year old hooker is lowered from the ceiling. I start fucking her harder than anything thus far. My wife, jealous that the hooker is getting the hardest fuck, shoots the hooker in the back of the head. I take my penis out of her cunt and stick it in the hole that is now in the back of her head. My Mother now enters and stands on the other side of the dead hooker as my cum is spurting out of her exit wound and catches it in her mouth. My son is standing behind her licking out her asshole. On either side of her is my two daughters sucking out the dead dog’s asses while my wife is pulling aborted fetuses out of their pussys and flinging them out into the audience. And as the grand finale we all throw up into a kiddy pool and drown a newborn lamb in it. We take a bow as the lights dim, and the show is over."

He looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"

The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"

To which the father replies, "The Aristocrats."

Sex (from the Reference Desk)[edit]

Why do people enjoy sex so much? While it seems fun, after a couple times it gets trite.

  • Better than sitting here asking annoying rhetorical questions on a thursday night?-- 05:31, 24 February 2006 (UTC)
If you think it's trite, you're not doing it right. JackofOz 06:12, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

Excerpts from talk page for the (now-deleted) article "Cum fart"[edit]

Cum fart vs. Creampie and Queef vs. Fart[edit]

...Felching -- need more detail, diagrams or photos would help here. Article states that semen is "ingested" but... How? With the hands, or are utensils involved? A straw? Are there specially designed utensils, or can one use an oyster spoon? If there are specially designed utensils, are they offered in standard patterns by reputable silverware manufacturers? How is such a utensil typically described on one's bridal registry? Details, please!


File:Woman cumfart.jpg
Woman releasing sperm out of her anus after anal sex

This image originally accompanied the article. It was removed by [a user] in December 2005 with the edit summary "I think we can at least make the picture nicer." I agree... could we at least replace the plain white sheet with a nice Marimekko pattern, or something? Thanks!

  • Also, can we have a male squeezing cum out of his ass instead of a full view of a spread-open vagina?
  • And this makes things more acceptable how?!...
File:Woman cumfart2.jpg
Woman releasing semen out of her anus after anal sex, onto a cheerfully printed bedsheet

OK, I took a first pass at improving the graphic per [a user's] comment...

  • The pattern is a definite improvement, providing instruction on appropriate coloring to hide potential staining. An excellent safety tip!...
  • I've got it. Two words: animated gif.
  • ...I definitely want this to get the standard to be nominated for Picture of the Day...
  • If its about a fart then it really doesn't have to be a female in the picture - that's all I'm saying...
  • Hmmm. How about using an animal, a dog or something? That way the fur could cover the, er, naughty bits, and the sex could be indeterminate. That sounds like a fair compromise that nobody could object to, right?
  • You must be kidding me. We want to see cum from an animal's anus now? This makes things better because?! This whole argument is stupid.
  • I think animals should seriously be considered...
  • Just remember WP:NOR
  • Right. I'm getting excited (in more ways than one!) by the whole animal idea. ...Also, what animal? I was thinking a kitten, but there's always gonna be some prude who doesn't get it that Wikipedia is WP:NOT censored who's gonna be all like You did WHAT to a KITTEN???... Hmmmm. A tapir? Maybe a giraffe? How about a lobster?
  • While a kitten might be plausible, a lobster would clearly violate WP:NOR.
  • I dunno... there might be a LobsterLove Community out there ("We just want to love whom we choose to love... is that so wrong?). I'm not sure I want to find out. Also, even it I did undertake some OR with a vidcam and a powerful waterproof lubricant, that in itself could become notable ("WIKIPEDIA EDITOR CHARGED IN BIZARRE LOBSTER ANAL RAPE CASE"), thus completing the circle. Of course, that raises the key question: do lobsters even fart? I think it shows something about Wikipedia that a fine article like this one is put up for deletion, meanwhile you can't even find the answer to a simple question like that. Flatulance in Crustaceans, Arthopod Flatulance, etc. -- nothing. SpongeBob Squarepants is a lobster and he farts, but I'm not sure how accurate that is....

[Article was put out its misery at this point...]

Cody M Scholze[edit]

Cody Scholze is the unholy combination of man and machine. He is presently trying to control of the world using his mutated monkey servants and genetically engineered bat-people. He likes movies, long walks on the beach, and world destruction. He will kick your ass at chess and then steal your girlfriend. He will use your girlfriend for her mind (Which you have never done, admit it) and then dispense of her. He will eat your soul and then spit it back out only because it tastes funny. In his shadow hides all of the things that give you nightmares.

Then, added after the article was CSD'd and the user was warned (saying that he wasn't going to get anywhere by doing this, that we'd simply bring in an admin):

He will never fear the Admins because of the fact he has hundreds of computers at his disposal. HAHAHAH!


From Olympics[edit]

GO TO HELL FULL NESS. Did you know that george bush is gay?

Edit summary from Flatulence[edit]

  1. (cur) (last) 20:15, February 24, 2006 *EDITOR'S NAME REMOVED* (revert link back to this page and pov comment that the smell of farts is only offensive in "some cultures". without any citations this is cultural relativism gone mad.farts stink everywhere.)

From The "Republic of tinselman"[edit]

"'The Republic of Tinselman'" is a Fictional State (though its members deny this), established by peace-loving President (For-Life) Robyn Miller in 2005. Their complex belief-system is often confusing to outsiders and seems "utterly ridiculous" or "a complete waste of time." Interestingly enough, the citizens of the Republic of Tinselman are proud of these labels. No one outside the republic knows why.

With humble beginnings on President (For Life) Miller's blog, the Republic now has a following of an unknown amount. Perhaps that's because joining this Republic without borders (unlike the NSK) requires the signing of no papers and the payment of no fees. One must only visit Tinselman. Or read about the Republic. Or hear about it from a friend. And then accept "the truth".

According the Republic, "the truth" is:

  • We embrace Godzilla. He will come to our side in times of extreme need.
  • We love the Loch Ness monster (or Nessy). We don't necessarily believe she's real, but we like the idea of her.
  • We absolutely adore Tinsel (because of its obvious magical properties).
  • We practice top secret "boo" and "haunted house" tactics to frighten our enemies. This includes the use of hatchet symbology but not spiders (see flag).
  • We use mysterious phrases like "Woah-Hey!" and "Wow-Magical!". When used correctly by a citizen of the Republic, these phrases have the power to momentarily stun our enemies (or make them smile quizzically).
  • We sort of like hotdogs.


Lyndon B. Johnson

Though President Johnson is known to be dead, citizens of the Republic of Tinselman' believe that he has twice travelled through space and time using what he describes to be an "impossible paradoxical Star Trek styled time and space warping kind of reality." His message has mainly two-fold. Not only has he proclaimed himself Vice President of the Republic of Tinselman', he has also directly threatened the Republic's President. (As an aside, he once called Spock a "Yankee", which made the citizens all very mad")

LBJ has since mysteriously disapeared. President Miller says, "Honestly, I think he was just plain overwhelmed by the mere mention of our Retinal-Scopic Robotic-Crawling-Superbrain. Wouldn't you be?"


On February 23, 2006, peace-loving President (For Life) Miller surprised the Republic by declaring WAR against this fictional nation that deceivingly claims to be "the first global state in the universe." In his declaration, he powerfully stated, "It seems they've moved in on our "non-territory" and are rapidly gaining ground. We cannot allow this! We will not allow this!" He went on to criticized the NSK for long list of crimes, including:

  • Functioning under a "borg-like" collective.
  • Requiring payment to become a citizen.
  • Being elistist.
  • Having cool fembot recruitment posters (this was actually more of a compliment rather then a criticism)

For these reasons, and because it gave President Miller "this amazing rush of power," he did not hesitate to declare war against the NSK: "an obviously dangerous and diabolical country."

In the Republic of Tinselman's steps toward "showing those NSK-ers that we're better than they are," President Robyn Miller has made (the ridiculous) decision that the Republic must have a better and more attractive Wikipedia entry than the NSK, which is ugly and naked. As he has often stated, "This should be really easy... their entry sucks."

From List of Animorphs books[edit]

The Hork-Bajir Chronicles[edit]

  • Copyright date: 1998
  • Number of pages: 20

He eats cheese... Not much more that...

From Captain Pollution[edit]

Unlike some hero/villain pairs, Captain Planet and Captain Pollution had no respect for each other. In short, they hated each other. In long, they REALLY hated each other.

WikiSaurus (From Wiktionary)[edit]

WikiSaurus is a dinosaur created by Wikimedia Foundation in hopes of finding out more information about these reptiles. It resembles a pterodactyl but has several traits of a tyrannosaurus rex.

Ironic hacking[edit]

When it comes to hacking wikipedia, nothing gets better than those script kiddies who think that by being able to edit wikipedia, they are hacking it. It gets better when they hack an artcile about a hacking game. Thus, I bring you:

The idiotic hacker


The movement of an elephant through a semi permiable membrane. it has been known for years that elephants are soluble in water, only recently has it been found that they are able to move through certain membranes, these membranes include the edge of a cloud, the line between sanity and insanity, and the edge of reality.

Simon Cowell[edit]

He also recorded the wrestlers of WWF Superstars and the Teletubbies with much success.

Date Movie[edit]

As of Feb. 21, 2006, the film grossed a total of 22.4 million dollars in the United States Box Office. Despite this, Date Movie sucks a fat one. You are a bad person with a terrible sense of humour if you liked it.

The wade[edit]

One of the only remaining pale-iosauris left on earth. Master of Disguise will help you to understand). Has an un-relentles source of knowledge about killing little children while they sleep in there bed with out making a single sound.

Category:Wikipedians that poop[edit]

The complete category description: "This is only for people who poop."

I poop. Can I be in the club?

From the Main Page Talk Archives[edit]

I saw this in the Main Page's Talk Archives, and I was surprised that no-one had put it up:


al0 ppl! i ave a gh0st in me h0use i saw it in ma bathr00m! i saw it, it w0z a little girl nd she luked cute... except she woz DEAD!!! i had just got out da bath so we had condensation on da tiles nd she rote HELP ME! nd i screamed nd ran nd slammed the door shut but she just went thru the wall followin me!!! shes behind me now! SHE SES HELP ME!! oh no help me ahhhhh...

You might find our article on ghosts useful. Sum0 23:20, 4 November 2005 (UTC)
If, in this case, there are ghosts located within the area in which you live, whom should you contact? :)--Sean|Black 23:59, 4 November 2005 (UTC)
Have the chavs discovered Wikipedia now? - Sensor 00:08, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
Please take a photograph of the ghost to illustrate our Ghost article (be sure to ask her permission first). — Knowledge Seeker 03:28, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
You don't have to ask permission if she died in the USA prior to 1927, or if she was an employee of / murdered by an evil conspiracy involving the U.S. Government. — Johantheghost 16:55, 8 November 2005 (UTC)

Another from the Main Page Talk[edit]

hello out there!![edit]

I am the computer talking and i would like to discuss the important things about me!!!

Doesn't technology move quickly nowadays? Only earlier today did I stumble across a robot that's self aware, and now there's one leaving messages on Wiki talk pages! Simply amazing. --Sam Pointon 14:59, 22 December 2005 (UTC)

Quite selfish this computer or should i say egocentric 16:21, 22 December 2005

Hello, computer! What's on your mind? — Knowledge Seeker 20:03, 22 December 2005 (UTC)

From Language of the Universe[edit]

Śˌ¢W.IHVJURGFNOKJBAIPOFNEBIFJDKQWEOOIGFJEOIGUOIPR89QU948TGY78HFYUW4GT8739JMIOHBYUHUBGRFT#$%#^%$^r7T68Y79U8WI09KF-LWERPOGJH3QY8TUWIFOKL5I3RHWGYG9UFI0RC2H8YTW7EUTIRFOLKD249IEWUQGIASRDOE0L34IJHEWYT8RUIFK43HWUR9JFIK394MDWEGTYRUFJI4803-WYU-IREFCOSUGDY5R7U8439T5762877^&**(&^t87965E78@@@@@@@@@@@#rTyuHGTR5678IUYT678UIJHIRFE2QHG4JIGJ-[P0P824DS"'"::"::::;;;P3OGL`2|||\ de4hfg0947!@#$%^&*()_=ek3g2qf78ivo4clr-nfr4guihoiwhgoijhfiojifihgujfihgiobrukifioehgfeqifhgrujgiugjqoighirwohgyuhfyuqurfjuoiwfjoieuygwuinjvfuhweytjioutrfuohyt1`2`yu5438ugh````10:56, 26 February 2006 (UTC)~``~```~5tqjkgioEJI!@#$%^&*()_oiuyt^yujhnbghyuikjnhgtyuikmnbgtyujnhbgftyujmnbvfrtyhujフリー百科事典tiegjpi%%%%%kßΩ€Ŵ ʈ ɖ ɟ ɡ ɢ ʡ ʔ ɸ ʃ ʒ ɕ ʑ ʂ ʐ ʝ ɣ ʁ ʕ ʜ ʢ ɦ ɱ ɳ ɲ ŋ ɴ ʋ ɹ ɻ ɰ ʙ ʀ ɾ ɽ ɫ ɬ ɮ ɺ ɭ ʎ ʟ ɥ ʍ ɧ ɓ ɗ ʄ ɠ ʛ ʘ ǀ ǃ ǂ ǁ ɨ ʉ ɯ ɪ ʏ ʊ ɘ ɵ ɤ ɚ ɛ ɜ ɝ ɞ ʌ ɔ ɐ ɶ ɑ ɒ ʰ ʷ ʲ ˠ ˤ ⁿ ˡ ˈ ˌ ː ˑ IΕλληνικάIOPIPOIPOIPIPOIPOIOPIOPIOPIPOIOPIOPIPOIOPIOPIOPIOPIOPIOPIOPIPOIOPคำว่า ไทย นั้น มีความหมายในภาษาไทยว่า อิสระ เสรีภาพ เดิมประเทศไทยนั้นใช้ชื่อ สยาม แต่ได้เปลี่ยนมาเป็นชื่อปัจจุบันเมื่อปี พ.ศ. 2482 ตามประกาศรัฐนิยม ฉบับที่ 1 ของรัฐบาลจอมพล ป. พิบูลสงคราม ให้ใช้ชื่อ ประเทศ ประชาชน และสัญชาติว่า "ไทย" โดยในช่วงต่อมาได้เปลี่ยนกลับเป็นสยาม ในปี พ.ศ. 2488 ในช่วงเปลี่ยนนายกรัฐมนตรี แต่ในที่สุดได้เปลี่ยนกลับมาชื่อไทยอีกครั้ง ในปี พ.ศ. 2491ในช่วงที่จอมพล ป. พิบูลสงครามเป็นนายกรัฐมนตรีในสมัยต่อมา โดยในช่วงแรกเปลี่ยนเฉพาะชื่อภาษาไทยเท่านั้น ชื่อภาษาฝรั่งเศส[1]และอังกฤษคงยังเป็น "Siam" อยู่ จนกระทั่งเดือนเมษายน พ.ศ. 2491 จึงได้เปลียนชื่อภาษาฝรั่งเศสเป็น "Thaïlande" และภาษาอังกฤษเป็น "Thailand" อย่างในปัจจุบัน อย่างไรก็ตาม ชื่อ สยาม นั้น ยังถือว่าเป็นที่รู้จักแพร่หลายอยู่ ทั้งในและต่างประเทศتاريخ 11 مايو 1949 م. تعني كلمة "تاي" الحر في اللغة التايلندية. اشتق من نفس اللفظ (تاي) الكلمة التي تطلق على السكان أي تايلنديون، تستعمل بعض الأقليات المتواجدة في البلاد كلمة سياميون عند الإشارة إلى سكان اна изток, с Тайландския залив и Малайзия на юг и с Андаманско море и Мианмар на запад. Тайланд е известен и с името Сиам, официално наименование на страната ગુજરાતી עברית हिन्दी is the name of a famous document writte in the language known as Engançaieutchaansnnischglo-saxابية arag


This idea was never used due to copyright issues, but it's still good for a laugh. The logic was:
The Wikipedia logo + :Image:Apple-logo.png = Applepedia!

Added by: HereToHelp (talkcontribs) 12:57, 26 February 2006 (UTC)


The proposed structure of Deoxyribase

Deoxyribase is an enzyme first isolated by Dr.Lee Clay-PhD MSc MBi BSc BSm by accident, while in a high school biology practical, 1976. It catalyses the decomposition of Deoxyribose into creosote and polythene. It has a catalytic turnover of 400 000 molecules per one of Deoxyribase per minute, making it one of the slower, but more complicated enzymes. Its optimum pH is at 6-8 however under lower pressures it has found to be over 3 times more efficient at a pH of 13.


Deoxyribase's quaternary structure consists of 8 baux groups, each arranged at the apex of a cuboid. A pair of baux groups can catalyse one codon of DNA at one time, so theoretically upto 4 DNA strands can be catalysed at once, but the probability is low. The fact that an entire codon is worked apon at one time, has led scientists to believe that this enzyme is distantly related to tRNA, and recent experiments suggest some strains of Deoxyribase (found in smaller mammals such as rabbits and moles, are made up of RNA instead of the normal polypeptide chain of enzymes.

Role in Eukaryotes[edit]

Primarily this enzyme is responsible for the catalytic conversion of DNA when levels of polythene are low in the cells, polythene is the compound found bonded to the cell's DNA restricting RNA polymerase from copying that part of the DNA that codes for Deoxyribase. If levels of polythene are high enough for appropriate homeostasis, Deoxyribase is produced in the cells (peaked while the animal is in Deep Sleep, excess deoxyribase is transported in the blood (as red blood cells are unaffected) to the bladder.

Proposed Mechanism[edit]

After the discovery of this enzyme, a lot of finance and research has been put into revealing the true structure and mechanism of this enzyme. The proposed catalytic mechanism is as follows.

DOB (Deoxyribase)
DNA-(3 bases) + DOB(VI) → creosote + DNA-(2 bases) + DOB-(VII)
O2 + creosote → oxycreosote (IV)
DNA-(2 bases) + DOB(VII) + oxycreosote (VI) → DNA-(1 base) + amino acid (i) + creosote + O2 + DOB
DNA-(1 base) + DOB(IX) → DNA + DOB(IX) + gamma radiation + S-42
DOB(IX) + S-42 → DOB(VII) + S2

As you can see the proposed mechanism has oxycreosote created at an intermediate step, which is absorbed into the stomach via the blood stream.

Genetic Possibility[edit]

Scientists hope that this enzyme can be reverse engineered to modify specific codons on the base sequence of DNA, and as it is produced in all cells, and the enzyme transported around by the cardiovascular system, true genetic engineering would be possible at a non-foetal stage of human development.

Also the enzyme could theoretically specialised to cut out certain parts of DNA that code for genetic diseases, mutations or adverse modifications. However not much research has been done into the genetic possibilities of Deoxyribase due to human rights protests.

See also[edit]

Google Eyes[edit]

This made me laugh so much I wanted to save it for posterity despite voting for its deletion.

Google Eyes explains how the people perceive and experience the world of Google. The way that Google presents the world to the user give us all eyes on the world from Google; the commentary of how that world is presented to us is called Google Eyes.

Google is a financial institution out to provide profits to its shareholders, but its approach to the internet is very different from most firms. Google presents the world in a specific way to its user by requesting patents, building business alliances and the use of software technologies. Their innovation and creativity creates a world to us, and Google Eyes is a voluntary way of providing to them feedback on how our world is influenced.

Google Eyes is also about the psyche of Google. Search Google for Google eyes to find out what people think of what Google thinks. Example: Google Eyes up Napster.

Typical questions that Google Eyes address:

1. If Google is prepared to assist the censor of the Chinese government. How can we be assured they are not censoring our current Google experience?

2. If Google requests a patent on determining (via a black box technique) the quality of news. How can we be assured that Google is not after Authoritarianism in news?

3. If Google present to us advertisements based on our own internet behavior. How do we know that information is not presented to us for the purpose of targeted interest groups?

4. Google’s own policy states that it does not censor. But will it censor for profit? Will it censor to provide a better user experience? Will censor to answer?

Super Panda[edit]

Super Pandas were supposedly discovered by chinese explorers in deep mountain caves. They were found eating overgrown bamboo trees and other animals. {fact} They then found that they had super powers. But there was one who really stood out he was pink from the bamboo and immortal for some reason he bred with another and had other Super Pandas. After that poacher tried to kill them for there fur and succeeded. Now Super Pandas are beleived to be a myth but some chinese men found fresh droppings in 1998 and think there are some left.

Drinking Boots[edit]

  • Drinking Boots

It is not known exactly when the trend of possessing a designated pair of drinking boots began but it may be presumed to have gathered impetus in Ireland as a result of the relatively recent economic growth. Some experts have suggested that with more disposable income in their pockets, young people have more cash to spend on novelty footwear.

Its increasing popularity may also be attributed to the recent surge in excessive alcohol consumption (or ‘binge-drinking’ as it called among drinking habit survey enthusiasts) among the younger generations. As drinking is seen as a hobby by many of these youths, it may be that sporting a pair of boots specific to their hobby may give them a certain attachment thereto or perhaps might lend a degree of legitimacy to what might otherwise be seen as an anti-social or unfavourable activity.

Joe Sewer, founding member of BBBO (Bord na mBróg ’s na mBútaisí Olachán) and proud owner of a pair of drinking boots, has been quoted as saying, “Well, when you go bowlin’, you get a pair of bowlin’ shoes, when you tap-dance, you get a pair of tap-dancing’ shoes…so why not invest in a decent pair o’ drinkin’ boots for when you go drinkin’? It makes sense, ya know?”

The term ‘Drinking Boots’ can refer not only to the actual boots one might wear when embarking upon a drinking session but it may also be used in the metaphorical sense. Take the following hypothetical conversation for example:

Drinker A: “We’re goin’ out for a few beers, Dave. Alright?”

Drinker B: “Right so then, Seamus, better get my drinking boots on, ay?!”

While drinker B could be referring to an actual pair of boots he uses while drinking, it is more likely that he is being humorous and implying that he should psyche himself up or perhaps prepare himself mentally for what could be quite an epic drinking rampage. This type of usage of the phrase would normally be the preserve of the uninitiated novices whose interest in the ‘drinking boots’ scene would be of a passive, or even a facetious, nature. While not looked down upon as such by serious ‘drinking booters’, this type of usage is not actively encouraged.

However, when one is referring to an actual pair of boots used primarily, or indeed exclusively (depending on the dedication of the drinking boots proprietor), while drinking, the conversation might proceed as follows.

Drinker A: “Howya, Dave, we’re goin’ for a few beers. Alright?”

Drinker B: “Sounds good, Seamus. Hold on a few minutes. I’ve got to run upstairs and change into my drinking boots.”

From Apolo Anton Ohno[edit]

Though Ohno has not said whether he plans to attend the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver as a contender, he did say he will be in Vancouver no matter the outcome. He has made comments about an interest in sex advising. He will be giving advice on how to fuck like a stallion.

Ted Danson[edit]

Before Danson was a famous actor, he was known to dabble in the monkeywrenching sport of billboard toppling with childhood friend Marc Gaede along the highway between Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon. He enjoys the arts and crafts. On numerous occasions, Ted Danson has been confused with the graphic novel character, Hellboy, because they look alike.

Ted Danson and Time Travel

Ted Danson has been known to time travel alot when he was a child. Most of the time he did it with his good pal Pierce Brosnan, however, on a few occasions he went into the future on his own. Some even suggest that he is in fact a future version of himself, as his past version died by accident and he went in and replaced him. However, these are unsubstantiated rumours and there is no proof to back them up.

From Cheez Whiz[edit]


Controversy has arisen in recent years over the resemblance of Cheez Whiz to certain aspects of As Atlanta minister George B. Seamons says, "This is an immoral representation of a disgusting menace to society." However, the resemblance could be purely coincidental.


Euromotion is the essence of dance.

Euromotion plays dance music and pumps parties all across the space-time continuum. Euromotion wants to make party at your house.

Your house will be a dance floor and we will celebrate the combination of music and carbon-based life, which is dance.

From: Jimbo Wales' sex life[edit]

Jimbo Wales' sex life is sadly nonexistent. Some consider it humorous, others see it as one of the great scientific perplexities of the time, while most simply shy away from the subject in shame. In 2005 Time attributed his involuntary chastity to homeschooling, but this theory has recently widely come to be considered "debunked," with the more popular "pornographic obsession" theory embraced. A small faction of journalists have even gone as far as to question lifestyle, citing long walks on the beach with mysterious vagabonds.

External links[edit]

  • [ Evidence]

Christine Fitzgerald[edit]

Christine Fitzgerald is a woman mentioned in David Icke's books as a confidant of Princess Diana's, who supposedly told her that the British Royal Family was in fact a group of shape-shifting reptiles. (Apparently this isn't a joke ... see link)

And from the ensuing deletion vote:

    • Delete Mussssst keep Charlssss ssssecretsss. 04:26, 27 February 2006 (UTC)

From Carey Carpenter[edit]

This article, which is situated in the wikipedia (that is website is a stub. Maybe you would like to make the entry that little bit longer. If you do in fact want to, please edit it.

Well, that's a bit more direct.


Ullesthorpe is a tiny village which has huge history; Ullesthorpe is where the earliest viking burial ground was found AS WELL AS being home to THREE pubs. wow. Expert forensics claim that Ullesthorpe, when the Worlds land mass was made up of the Super Continent, in fact belonged to a group of war seeking gorrilas from South Eastern Mongolia. Finally, a bus comes through the village to Lutterworth once every hour at quarter to the hour - how about that?

  • Is that all? My town has a taxi company. -Jetman123


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List of heterological words[edit]

A word is heterological if and only if it does not describe itself. The category is uninteresting except in the case of adjectives and adjective phrases, i.e. words that are at least capable of describing things. (See Grelling-Nelson paradox.)

(A non-heterological word is autological. These words are also listed.)

  • Illegible
  • Hyphenated
  • Non-hyphenated
  • Adverbial
  • French (but not francais)
  • Abbreviated
  • Diminutive
  • Unspeakable
  • Unused
  • Long
  • Four-legged
  • Monosyllabic
  • Dactylic
  • Blue (if you click the link)
  • Purple (if you don't click the link)
  • Female
  • Carcinogenic
  • Plural
  • Misspelled
  • Audible (when printed)
  • Visible (when spoken)
  • Palindromic
  • Obsolete
  • Onomatopoetic
  • Obscene
  • Pangrammatic
  • Pulchritudinous
  • Incomprehensible
  • Meaningless
  • Rare
  • Illegal
  • Lethal
  • Phonetic

From Basset Hound[edit]

Green Bassets are common in Northern Ireland, due to the fact that they are known to eat the most grass there. Their ears can be known to grow 26 inches long. Commonly tripping over their ears, as a result, very rarely their ears are clipped to prevent the off-set of their face drooping. Bassets can develop Grape Eye as a result of their low-set ears.

Note that Grape Eye is a play on Cherry eye. Elf | Talk

Scientific research, eh?[edit]

Historians used to debate whether Micronesians used to be two or three feet tall. New scientific finds reveal that Micronesians were not taller than eighteen inches.

John O'Veerlode[edit]

From wp:John#Trivia

There were more men named John than there were women as MPs in the United Kingdom until the 1997 general election that brought Tony Blair and New Labour to power.

From Pope Benedict XVI[edit]

(caption of a picture)

Pope Benedict XVI signs his own death warrant

You need a talking-to, little man[edit]

I have created this sock puppet for one purpose and one purpose only. To chew you out. Since you covered up the AWM's previous message with the deceptive comment

deleting comments from anon

AWM is about as anonymous as the President of the USA. You know exactly who and where he is in the real world. Go mark this IP with that Pinktulip template. Go block this account. Go add it to :Category:Wikipedia:Suspected sockpuppets of Amorrow. Go cover up this message with some other deceptive comment. Go pretend to be ready to engage me in dialog just so that you can cut me off and hit the OFF switch on me more effectively, and then go do the same to others. As far as I can tell and until you show me otherwise, that is all you are good for. Excellent Wikipedia admin material. Efficent. Neat. Just please stay away from me until you grow up and learn to engage other men in manly and genuinely respectful way. -- SandraBalmer 20:00, 1 March 2006 (UTC) (and, of course, AWM) actual post left on User:Jossi's talk page.

From the Main Page Talk[edit]

Hugh Smith[edit]

Hugh Smith was born in 1986, which incidentally is also the year sex was invented. Crazy year that was.

Anyway, Hugh Smith is a crazy-ass son, but one who is destined to save the world. From what you may ask? Why, itself. And if you don't understand that, well, then, I have nothing to say to you. Just go and think about it, it'll make sense eventually.

Hugh lives in Canada, and, currently (2006) is in second year of University at Queen's. Queen's is referred to as the Harvard of the North. Incidentally, Queen's just signed a contract with Harvard, saying that Queen's students could attend Harvard while paying ordinary Queen's tuition, while Harvard students could attend Queen's while paying inflated Harvard tuition. They definitely got the royal shaft on that one.

Anyway, like I been saying, Hugh's the most awesome man the world has ever known, and soon, you will hear about him, as he comes to town and saves you all. The war is coming! The Revolution is upon us!

From Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Mrs Gastrich[edit]

Mrs Gastrich[edit]

[{{fullurl:Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Mrs Gastrich|action=edit}} Vote here] (0/0/0) ending 07:35 7.30 March 9 2006 (UTC)

Template:User – I am nominating myself because I am Jason Gastrich's wife and I am the best Mrs Gastrich 07:35, 2 March 2006 (UTC)

Candidate, please indicate acceptance of the nomination here: Mrs Gastrich accepts the nomination.Mrs Gastrich 07:39, 2 March 2006 (UTC)


  1. Support. Damn those atheist devils! Gamaliel 08:38, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  2. Support fine and neutral editor Adelaey 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  3. Support fine and neutral editor Alexi K 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  4. Support fine and neutral editor Big Daddy 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  5. Support fine and neutral editor Big Hater 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  6. Support fine and neutral editor Big Lover 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  7. Support fine and neutral editor BigDaddy 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  8. Support fine and neutral editor Bobby Lou 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  9. Support fine and neutral editor Chacha1 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  10. Support fine and neutral editor Chochi 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  11. Support fine and neutral editor Dr. Turtleton 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  12. Support fine and neutral editor God's child 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  13. Support fine and neutral editor HRoss 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  14. Support fine and neutral editor Hooba 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  15. Support fine and neutral editor LinkChecker 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  16. Support fine and neutral editor Ministry 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  17. Support fine and neutral editor Mr.Wiggins 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  18. Support fine and neutral editor Neutered 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  19. Support fine and neutral editor TonyT5 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  20. Support fine and neutral editor Turkmen 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  21. Support fine and neutral editor Wiggins2 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  22. Support fine and neutral editor Alalea 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  23. Support fine and neutral editor Alanconteras 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  24. Support fine and neutral editor Andandrus 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  25. Support fine and neutral editor Bannana Peel 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  26. Support fine and neutral editor Barry Hatchett 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  27. Support fine and neutral editor Big Bear 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  28. Support fine and neutral editor Big Bouncer 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  29. Support fine and neutral editor BigBear 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  30. Support fine and neutral editor Blair Richardson 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  31. Support fine and neutral editor Chuck Hastings 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  32. Support fine and neutral editor Dragonfly02 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  33. Support fine and neutral editor DukeMurdock 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  34. Support fine and neutral editor Frank Corleone 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  35. Support fine and neutral editor FredTaylor 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  36. Support fine and neutral editor Gastrich81965 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  37. Support fine and neutral editor JGChristian 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  38. Support fine and neutral editor JLATLC 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  39. Support fine and neutral editor JSP91 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  40. Support fine and neutral editor Jack White1 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  41. Support fine and neutral editor Jake Snidditch 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  42. Support fine and neutral editor Jake Williamson 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  43. Support fine and neutral editor James Adams 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  44. Support fine and neutral editor JamesGroves84 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  45. Support fine and neutral editor JasonG044 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  46. Support fine and neutral editor JasonG072 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  47. Support fine and neutral editor JasonG099 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  48. Support fine and neutral editor JasonG158 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  49. Support fine and neutral editor JasonG226 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  50. Support fine and neutral editor JasonGastrich3 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  51. Support fine and neutral editor Jerry DeWalt 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  52. Support fine and neutral editor Jerry Ramirez 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  53. Support fine and neutral editor JesusChristSaves 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  54. Support fine and neutral editor Jimmy Lee Wallace 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  55. Support fine and neutral editor Jordan Pinellas 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  56. Support fine and neutral editor Joshua39125 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  57. Support fine and neutral editor Juicy Juicy 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  58. Support fine and neutral editor Julia Weber 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  59. Support fine and neutral editor Jumpstart My Heart 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  60. Support fine and neutral editor King Blinger 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  61. Support fine and neutral editor LaShanda Martinique 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  62. Support fine and neutral editor Leah Blanchett 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  63. Support fine and neutral editor Lenny Arwell 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  64. Support fine and neutral editor Marty Giles 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  65. Support fine and neutral editor Mary Smith 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  66. Support fine and neutral editor Mr. Wiggins 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  67. Support fine and neutral editor Narconcantari 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  68. Support fine and neutral editor Pedro Lopez 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  69. Support fine and neutral editor Sam Tindell 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  70. Support fine and neutral editor Stanley Adams 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  71. Support fine and neutral editor Steve Leftwich 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  72. Support fine and neutral editor Steven Taylor 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  73. Support fine and neutral editor Taylor Stevens 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  74. Support fine and neutral editor The Bronx 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  75. Support fine and neutral editor Todd Rockwell 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  76. Support fine and neutral editor Trisha Black 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  77. Support fine and neutral editor Wiki4Christ 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  78. Support fine and neutral editor Wiki4christ 17:36, 2 March 2006 (UTC)


  1. Opposed two edits. This and one to her user page. CambridgeBayWeather (Talk) 07:37, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  2. Oppose and username block unless she can prove that she is actually this guy's wife.--God Ω War 08:39, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  3. Oppose but one of the funniest nominations I have seen. This is a joke, right guys? Guys? Smitz 08:45, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  4. Oppose. I command that only the One True Jason be granted adminship. God (Talk/Contribs) 12:26, 2 March 2006 (UTC)


  1. Waiting to see how Mrs Gastrich answers my question (see #4). --Malthusian (talk) 11:51, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
  2. Nuetral per Last Malthusian. That's the most important question in this RFA! --Blu Aardvark | (talk) | (contribs) 12:47, 2 March 2006 (UTC)


Questions for the candidate
Dear candidate, thank you for offering to serve Wikipedia in this capacity. Please take the time to answer a few generic questions to provide guidance for voters:

1. What sysop chores, if any, would you anticipate helping with? Please check out :Category:Wikipedia backlog, and read the page about administrators and the administrators' reading list.
  • I would block all those who have blocked the "sockpuppets" of my husband Jason Gastrich
  • Block all the atheist devils who run wikipedia
  • Block the arbitration committee
  • Glorify Jesus christ
  • Defend my husband, a man of god
2. Of your articles or contributions to Wikipedia, are there any about which you are particularly pleased, and why?
  • This RFA
3. Have you been in any conflicts over editing in the past or do you feel other users have caused you stress? How have you dealt with it and how will you deal with it in the future?
  • I will act the way my husband does. He is a great role model
4. This is the most important question you will be asked about your potential adminship, so think carefully. What do you think about Wikipedians putting their opinions and affiliations on their user page in a little box on the right with a little picture? Please be specific, addressing the separate and vital issues of substed userboxes, templates and substing / transclusion from user space. Include pictures, at least one of which should be a copyvio. You may write on both sides of the monitor.


The guild of 'Da Boys

This is a famous guild and many have wanted and been tested to join this guild many have died to join and some are lucky enough to get in.

Ceiling Cat[edit]


The ceiling cat is a rare bread of cat, native to north america and the european union. The study of the ceiling cat was extraordinarily hard until recent years, when special tracking, and capturing technology was developed. since that time the ceiling cat has been a huge subject of interest in the scientific world.


Despite the modern idea the ceiling cats evolved during the industrial revolution in new england, and old england, the truth is that the ceiling cat is actually a multi-millenia old species.

Cave drawings have been found in back allys dating back to the mid eighties, and even more stunning, it is believed the ceiling cat took refuge in the roof of the native's teepee.


Modern Ceiling Cat[edit]

The ceiling cat is a strange animal. it has evolved, and become accustomed to it' new enviroment, the urban area. the ceiling cat feeds off human sperm, hence the saying "Ceiling Cat is watching you masturbate". The cat has razor sharp tallons, so it can cut perfectly square holes in the ceilings of most houses, through which it watches people.

Until recently the Ceiling Cat was only a Myth, but that was proven wrong with a single image: Image:Ceiling_cat_00.jpg

this image is in fact disturbing, but it is also irrefutable evidenve that ceiling cat does have strong abilities. scientist immediately started research.

While one man was sitting at his computer (presumeably masturbating) the Federation for Unlocking Ceiling Kat's Erroticisms and Researching that Species (F.U.C.K.E.R.S) underwent a study to investigate the ceiling cat habitat. They built a structure to drop down on top of the man's house on command, when the time came they released the device, crushing the house and all of it's inhabitants. The male inhabitant's family took the Federation to court, but the case fell through, because of the Federation's good intentions, and the fact that they had video fotoage of the man screaming the company name triumphantly as his house fell down upon him "FUCKERS!!!" The investigation found irrefutable evidence of the ceiling cat, that is, they found five dead cats, which they presumed to be Ceiling Cats, due to the fact they were cound in holes in the ceiling. Many scientist have refuted this, saying "The MOTHER F***ING FLOOR WAS IN THE CEILING AFTER YOU WERE DONE WITH IT!!" other sicentist's said that due to the unorthodox experiment the ceiling had holes in it only after the investigation began.

The real question is not "Do ceiling cats exist?" it is, "Is a ceiling cat watching you right now?"...


A surname of extraordinary power, Schwessinger means, in the German language, quite literally, "to have unique knowledge of anyone touched on the right elbow by someone with the surname of Schwessinger."

In one incident, a man named Niles Schwessinger, of Kuulaide, South Dakota, touched the right elbow of his barber, a Rufus T. Firefly, and instantly amazed the barber with tales of the barber's early years of puberty, when, still unexplained, Firefly grew facial hair in the shape of legendary Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin's profile.


Well. Barbie a doll with unrealistic statistics and blonde hair. She is highly aggravating and should be shot immediatly. Thank you.

The truth behind the skor bar THOSE THINGS ARE DANGEROUS IM TELLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Montreal Expos[edit]

In a box explaining the team's logo

Note: This logo has been mistaken for "ELB" "DB" "I don't see anything" and "Why are you asking me all of these stupid questions about your Expos hat?" Source: An extremely scientific survey conducted by one of the few remaining Expos fans.

Storm Metal[edit]

Storm Metal is a spin off battle metal, death metal, and doom metal. Combining the lyrical imagery of battle metal, the apocalyptic depressing atmosphere of doom metal, and the blasting abrasion of death metal to create the feeling as if you are standing inside an unrelenting, furious storm. Lyrical content may also depict standing in a storm while battle is raging around you. Overall there is a feeling of rage, depression, excitement, and threat.

For the record, this is not an established subgenre of METAL.... i completely made this up off of the top of my head, sounded good at the time. (Kookie)

From Triumph of the Will[edit]

Today's featured article inspired so much vandalism it got semi-protected. Much was crude, consisting of replacing the entire article with pictures of Jimbo and male sex organs. One reverter, however, couldn't resist some more tasteful vandalism of his/her own in the intro:

It features footage of uniformed Nazi party members (but surprisingly few German soldiers) marching and drilling to melodious major-keyed classical music, as well as excerpts from speeches given by various Nazi leaders at the Congress, including portions of Adolf Hitler's own speeches, as well as comical musical numbers featuring Fritz, the Aryan Rabbit.

from Interesting Facts about Toasters[edit]

And yes, the humor tag was put on the article by its author.

Note! These pages contain material which is kept because the contents are considered humorous.
They are not intended, nor should they be used, for any research or serious use.
A classic example of the device known as a Toaster
  • Contrary to what stupid, naive people believe, bread is put in a toaster, not toast.
  • Toasters are made primarily in the United States. This a glaring example of an Imperialist Yankee attempt to crush the Slovakian economy, of which the toaster is their main export.
  • Invented by Sir Henry Toaster in 1786. His knighthood, which he had gain for services to aromatherapy, was annuled forthwith. The ability to toast bread in 2-3 minutes was viewed with suspicion in Georgian England.
  • In 1854 the makers of toasters won a tense legal battle with a fierce Mongolian Warlord, who had previously invented Kublai Khan's man toaster machine, (which consisted mainly of coal, iron and burnt Chinamen) over the rights to the name toaster.
  • In 1986, the 200th anniversary of the Toaster celebration, held in Chernobyl, Ukrainian SSR, turned into a disaster when sparks from Sir Henry's original toaster set off a chain reaction which caused the local nuclear power station to exploded, leaving thousands dead from nuclear fallout. The infamous toaster was never found, local authorites decided to stop looking and that everybody should just get on with their lives.
  • Futurologists, Toaster-haters and a Mr G. Foreman all expect, within the next ten years, for the toaster to have been made obsolete by the George Foreman grill. Which has a little tray for runoff fat.

From wp:Wikipedia talk:Bots#vandalbot[edit]

If I request permission to operate a vandalbot, will it be authorized? --DanielleCunio 01:03, 1 March 2006 (UTC)

No. Dragons flight 01:09, 1 March 2006 (UTC)
I'd need details on exactly what sort of vandalism it would do, what pages it would vandalize, and the expected load on the Wikipedia servers. A reasonably efficient vandalbot would take a lot of load off of the people who are presently vandalizing by hand. --Carnildo 04:05, 1 March 2006 (UTC)
This one is in twice! Hynca-Hooley 15:58, 7 March 2006 (UTC)

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