Oh my God! You Deleted Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense! You bastard!
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| If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources! |
The title of this one is a reference to South Park, for what Stan and Kyle would say whenever Kenny is killed.
This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.
Winter[edit]
The following appear on the talk page:
wado kai karate do wado kai karate do
Apparently the Met Office was asked by another government department for an official definition of winter, expecting actual dates. The answer "Winter begins when all the leaves have fallen off the trees and ends when the bulbs start growing again." (Transfer to Wikijokes if desired.)
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Winter"
From "I know kung fu"[edit]
Show me.
A The Matrix reference, if you didn't know. 212.219.254.153 14:27, 26 January 2007 (UTC)
From Mental Retardation[edit]
Mental retardation (also called mental handicap and the UK Mental Health Act defines mental impairment and severe mental impairment) is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal intellectual capacity as an adult.
During childhood, the term developmental delay is synonymous but currently preferred in many contexts because of the pejorative connotations acquired by the term "mental retardation". Developmental disability is also preferred by some, but can refer to other disabilities as well. The American Association on Mental Retardation continues to use the term mental retardation [1].
Although it can be defined objectively, mental retardation does not represent a single condition. Some of the difficulties of characterizing mental retardation more precisely are illustrated by comparing mental retardation to the condition of short stature, with which it shares all of the following characteristics:
- Diagnostic criteria are defined statistically and arbitrarily.
- There are many subgroups with distinguishable developmental patterns.
- It is not a single, homogeneous disease; there are many known causes, both inherent and environmental, and congenital and acquired.
- Different diagnostic criteria are used for different purposes.
- More than one factor may contribute to retardation for any one person.
- New conditions and causes are discovered or better understood each year.
- Treatments can be very effective, marginally beneficial, or ineffective, varying by cause and age of intervention.
- For a significant proportion of affected people, a cause cannot be determined.
Computer Virus[edit]
Warning, by coming to this page, you have downloaded a computer virus on to your computer which destroys all information on your computer, spreads to every other computer found on your computer's IP listing. In addition, you will also be framed for computer crimes committed by others.
CONGRADULATIONS, YOU ARE SCREWED
HA HA YOU ARE PWNED
Serbian wedding[edit]
The Serbian weddings are pretty primitive in their regular manners. All of the attendants jump around going into ecstasies while drinking Rakija and eating the traditional high-fat food called burek. Gun fireing is usual, once one cesna got gunned down by the celebrating participants. The Kalashjnikov is the preffered automatic weapon while dancing, since it has the best rhythm. Puškata ra ta ta ta ta ta ta ta!
Clitoris envy[edit]
well I wish I had one, don't you? Sometimes
Do scented candles burn faster than unscented candles[edit]
Scented candles burn faster than unscented candles because they have a little mechanism inside them that fills and refills them with gas. Unscented candles do not have this. Also, the scented candle has an aroma to burn and then it burns the candle wax. The unscented candle only has wax. the scented candles first burn the oil then the aroma filled packs then the wax. the unscented only burn the wax. but thats why the economic colapse in east burmuta was overshadowed by the rising price of candals burnin tofast in the west easternly province of south florida.
From Apothix[edit]
potato? Scented candles do not burn faster than unscented candles because the process of filling and re-filling the gas inside the former is a simple mechanism. Also, the scented candles burn the oil first, then the aroma and finally the wax. The unscented candle only burns the wax as it does not have the aroma or the oil inside. sdfasfudkgasldhs;df
From W00t paradox[edit]
W00t paradox is an interesting phenomena in usage of the word w00t, to be more precise, usage of various number of 0's in middle of the word. These figuers were found using google:
word, number of pages found
- w0t - 16700
- w00t - 1070000
- w000t - 10100
- w0000t - 3880
- w00000t - 706
- w000000t - 507
- w0000000t - 3900
- w00000000t - 3750
- w000000000t - 2070
- w0000000000t - 1560
- w00000000000t - 3090
- w000000000000t - 1190
- w0000000000000t - 970
- w00000000000000t - 777
- w000000000000000t - 2220
- w0000000000000000t - 709
- w00000000000000000t - 376
- w000000000000000000t - 798
- w0000000000000000000t - 342
- w00000000000000000000t - 325
- w000000000000000000000t - 267
- w0000000000000000000000t - 240
- w00000000000000000000000t - 208
- w000000000000000000000000t - 332
- w0000000000000000000000000t - 118
- w00000000000000000000000000t - 133
- w000000000000000000000000000t - 161
...
This very interesting row of numbers can be descibed as the "w00t function". The paradox is in growing number of sites found when using the word w00t with certain number of zeros.
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY[edit]
Sorry, the Wikipedia Most Bizarre Title Contest is over.
A scream of victory emitted by the character Dio from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure in the PSX fighting game based on the manga.
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY was wholly unremarkable until it was placed in a flash animation by a fan and uploaded to their website. In the animation, the final example of a finishing move is Dio's ultimate attack ("The World"), in which he uses a steamroller as a weapon and emits a scream written on screen as "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Without proper context, WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY quickly became an internet meme, and even upon discovery of its true nature, it is frequently used in jokes to express domination or victory.
The Correct spelling of WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY contains twenty "Y"s.
From Sinjinism[edit]
This is a religion worshiped by some boys at The Haberdashers' Aske's Boys School. It regards a Holy Trinity of:
The observance of this religion is governed by several principles:
huh?[edit]
Keep I am not a sock-puppet, I am a maize-based snack. 22:29, 23 May 2005 (UTC)
User talk:Linuxbeak[edit]
Hi, I'd just like to let you know that the chess tournament has started. You will play User:Project2501a. Look at the rules, decide with your opponent what colour you will play, and then start playing! If you have any questions either ask me or try Wikipedia talk:Chess championship. Good luck! Gkhan 23:58, May 15, 2005 (UTC)
- YOUR ASS == MINE, FLY-BOY. YOUR SARGE SAYS SO. GNU CHESS, YES! WITH GUI, YES, YOU GET FIRST MOVE, I PICK COLOR BLACK. Project2501a 00:38, 16 May 2005 (UTC)
From "fear level"[edit]
Fear Levels are a way of objectively determining the level of fear of a human being. They are logarithmically (powers of ten in each divison) between the fear of warm water (0), and the fear of having nipples cut off and being forced to eat them by a homicidal maniac (3). The highest known fear level is 8. You don't want to go there.
From Ninja piggy[edit]
Ninja piggy is a piggy that became a ninja and attacked Old McDonld on his snail breeding farm. Unfortuneately, the duck got in the way of the stud snail, who was bringing illegal immigrants and drugs into Mexico,and didn't move fast enough so the stud snail ran the duck over which made ninja piggy angry. This caused ninja piggy to attack Old McDonld in revenge and took over the world but was stopped by the dog, who previously tried to take over the world. Then he released his army of salespeople while ninja piggy released his army of fat cats. And that is the world crisis of today.
Epornitic[edit]
(ep·or·nit·ic) (ep²or-nit¢ik) [epi- + Gr. ornis bird]
- attacking many birds in a region at the same time
- a disease of high morbidity that is only occasionally present in a bird population.
- My grandma smells funny
- How interesting
- Wololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol olololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol olololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
Nuclear fusion[edit]
An initiator must also be present in the form of a man who must scream "Fuse damnit!" repeatedly until fusion starts. Experiments were performed using a recording instead of an actual man, but instead of initiating fusion, Vin Diesel was produced instead.
Stomach confinement
Three drunken scientists once experimented how fuel could be stored by forcing one of them to swallow it and then starting the fusion reaction. None of the three survived, but research is still being carried out in this area.
Kenneth Tynan[edit]
And most amusingly, Mary Whitehouse, a frequent critic of the BBC over issues of "morals and decency," wrote a letter to the Queen, suggesting that Tynan "ought to have his bottom spanked". If she had only known. The episode further encouraged Whitehouse's campaign against the BBC and summarily cut short Tynan's television career.
Wtfpwnsauce[edit]
"Wtfpwnsauce" is a term used in MMORPG's, such as World of Warcraft. It refers to the enjoyable killing of enemies. For example; "Rogues used to slaughter me. But with my new sword, I can lay down the wtfpwnsauce on them, lol!!"
Also see: Barbecue.
Walking[edit]
How To
The basic mechanism of walking is quite simple, and involves only a couple of steps (pun intended)
1. From standing position, lift either the left or right leg upwards and forwards.
2. Once the leg is a good distance in front of you, place it on the floor.
3. Lift the other leg off the ground, pull it forwards and past the now stationary leg and plant it firmly on the floor a small distance in front of the stationary foot.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you reach your desired destination
For more complex moves such as turning, see walking manouvers
Common mistakes
There are a number of mistakes that are common amongst newcomers to walking. These include:
1. Lifting both legs off of the ground at any one point during the basic walking mechanism. Whilst this does induce motion, the motion producing is unfavourable vertical motion due to gravity rather than the horizontal motion normally associated with walking.
2. Forgetting to alternate legs. Although this is not strictly incorrect, it is often frowned upon by society, and can result in embarrasing social situations for the user.
3. Attempting the above steps lying down. Although this may seem a good idea at the time, especially for more relaxed people, it rarely breeds successful results.
Holography[edit]
Certain fast-food chains are currently considering serving holographic menu items to customers in simulated restaurants located in imagined mall food courts.
From Mooning[edit]
History of Mooning
During the latter portion of the second century, in what is now Northern England, a nomadic band of barbaric heathens began worshiping the Moon. Their simple thought patterns equated phases of the moon to metaphysical messages from a divine source.
When the moon became full this group of vagabond savages would form a circle around an open pit fire, remove their torn and tattered loin cloths and pointed their naked posteriors toward the moon. Immediately following the ceremony the moon worshipers would drink a potion and shout in unison a cryptic phrase which was later translated to the term we now know as “bottoms up.” The purpose of this ritual is not completely understood. One theory is that it was designed to create transference of energy from the moon to their exposed buttocks. Once the transfer was complete they could at a later time figuratively strike and ridicule an enemy by exposing their moon-enriched back side to a person or persons considered to be much less worthy . Thus the revealed posterior was designed to humiliate the persons to whom it was pointed and served as a declaration of superiority over those who had not participated in the moon ceremony.
Less primitive Anglo-Saxon tribesmen considered this practice to be offensive and believed the worshipers to be crazy. The connection to the moon created the term lunatic which is a derivation of lunar. Today we refer to lunatics as looney and these moon worshipers have become the literal butt of countless aspersions.
Powerleveling[edit]
From Powerleveling: Anyone sensible quickly realises that unless you sell crack in the game above figures are totally made up. More likely estimates range from $2 to $10 depending on how much time you waste. You can also make from $10 to $100 per fellatio you sell through the game. Just set a date and time and make the transaction.
--Christopherlin 22:45, 29 May 2005 (UTC)
Cheneyism[edit]
A Cheneyism is a word or phrase characteristic of the United States Vice President Dick Cheney. It could be something like, "Well, it is essential for the security of the United States that thousands upon thousands of Iraqi civilians be mercilessly slaughtered," or something as simple as "Go f*** yourself," especially when said on the U.S. Senate floor. The key element of a "Cheneyism" is its verve and je ne sais quoi. It also usually has a nice, ruthless, evil ring to it, as Dick Cheney is evil.
Cheneyism is similar to Rovism (named after Karl Rove), in that both usually involve outright lies, and both Cheney and Rove are bald, fat, evil guys.
Chicken fried toast[edit]
You know... How do you chicken fry toast? Well Village Inn found out how. Credit to this invention goes to the minds of... [names of employees]. It's basically toast, but with a sweet and crunchy breading around it.
Don't kill bugs[edit]
Everyone hates bugs. But why kill them? Just cause you hate something is no reason to kill it. If everyone killed all that they hated, where would we be? There would be noone here. Sooner or later, no matter how good you are, somebody hates you and will think of you as a bug. Next thing you know, youre gone. So like dont kill bugs.
Cockroaches rule!!!!!!!
A part of "Spiders by Namu"[edit]
Unlike the real world, if a spider likes her neighbors house more than her own, she may simply be ably to march on into her neighbors house, assassinate her, and claim the house as her own. We all know that one would be charged of murder, stealing and have to pay charges for doing so in our world, but the thought of that is perfectly ridiculous in a spiders point of view. Most of a spiders life is completely different from ours and most likely not to happen to humains, like a play or movie, but it is quite possible. Their life is full of love, murder, hunting, betrayal and much more that will be listed below. When you kill a spider you take a life.
The Divine Order of the Fruit of the Loins of the Earth[edit]
Posted by: PeteHappens
The Divine Order of the Fruit of the Loins of the Earth is an religion, based around the worship of nuclear power. Similar to Time Cube it is part conspiracy theory and part religion, promoting the revelation that the government is promoting a "lie." However, the Divine Order differs from Time Cube, in the fact that it does have a spiritual part to it.
Main Beliefs
The members of the Divine Order hold to the belief that nuclear explosions are the one true path to enlightenment. The ultimate goal of the order is to promote "the Truth,"-- the belief that the only path to heaven, and enlightenment is through nuclear explosions. They continue to argue that the Japanese culture is enlightened because on the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. They are sworn that both governments who do not detonate their nuclear weapons, and fighters for the disarmement of nuclear weapons, for these groups work against the spread of nuclear explosions.
The Asteroid Lie
A major part of the Divine Order's belief system, is their belief that the government and scientists are lying to the people when they say that dinosaurs most likely died from the impact of an asteroid. They call this universal untruth "The Asteroid Lie." They hold that the dinosaurs were in fact the chosen people (sic) of God (God being the divine nuclear explosion). The Order believes that dinosaurs were the first to understand the Truth. They state that dinosaurs came together and built a nuclear bomb, which they detonated, in a "mass suicide towards enlightenment."
Though they don't believe that dinosaurs are God, they hold them as the most intelligent being that ever roamed the earth. The three unknown leaders of the order have stated on many occasions that they are three reincarnations of dinosaurs.
Future of the Order
The Great Schism of the Order, which occured in 2005, split the three leaders into three seperate sects. Despite this, they continue to meet anually to discuss the future of the order.
Other Statements
Many proponents of the religion have stated that the lack of information regarding the Divine Order is the result of the Asteroid Lie. They have said on many occasions that the government is trying to keep the nuclear weapons to themselves, and thus trying to hide the fact that the Divine Order exists.
Boom!
Military[edit]
From an old anon IP edit:
The term military can be used to say that cryptoDerk is gay. It is the interest of the reader to know that Wikipedia supports ads and installs software in the background. The company does not seem to understand that I have an unlimited source of proxies (proxies = ip) and I will not stop unless you apologize! Check out (website) for a sample!!!
Sonic5959[edit]
sonic5959 likes big juicy man cock and shoves them in his ass every night and cuts his throaght open and lets people cum upward into his mouth
Hooch[edit]
The word derives from a Japanese word, meaning "shelter". I learned "hooch" as a word we used in Viet Nam to describe the small dwellings of the rural Vietnamese. There is no structural similarity, however. They both are just small, and efficient."
Outlawarchitecturemag.com exists only in the fertile imagination of JS
We are seated in a hooch, a 6 ft by 6 ft space 15 ft in the air. The poles supporting this treeless treehouse converge as a single point at the base, while cables to surrounding trees maintain a perfect balance. The hooch is lit with candles inside bamboo "shadowcasters". We bask in the radiant heat of a fire crackling inside the chiminea, and we drink hot tea that was heated in the exhaust flume of that same chiminea. This is the backyard "hooch" of Jo Scheer, a self described artist and designer, and it is an otherwise cool evening here in Ashland, Oregon. We keep warm with an abundance of wool blankets, and, of course, the radiance of the chiminea.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "First of all, let me thank you for inviting us to this most unusual place. This is very cool"
JS: You're welcome, of course. I love bringing people up here. They are all amazed."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "So, I'll bet the kids love it as well"
` JS: (laughs) Oh yes. My daughter has sleep-outs all the time. We all have sleep-outs. It's a great escape from the regular life down there in that normal house. (points towards the house) . We call it our "escape hooch"
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "It's a treehouse, but its not." It doesn't sit in a tree. Could you elaborate."
JS: "Of course. It is a treehouse in that it relies on trees to anchor the cables that maintain its balance. The trees become part of the structure. It doesn't sit in a tree, but amongst the trees. In a sense, the hooch becomes a part of the natural environment, part of the tree."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Why not just build a conventional treehouse?"
JS: "Well, first of all, you wouldn't be here if it were an ordinary treehouse, would you. Actually, there are tons of reasons. As you can see outside, we do not have a perfect tree to build one in. But besides that, the hooch is a pre-fabricated, universal treehouse. It fits anywhere. It does not require any elaborate design to fit a particular tree. It does not require any alteration of a particular tree, or of the site in general. Very environmentally benign."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Why not just build a tall pole building?"
JS: "Ah, there are all sorts of problems, and costs. The hooch has a single point foundation, just a stump base, which acts like a pivot point for any movement of the structure. The cables keep it up. Multiple poles would require multiple foundation supports. It would tend to warp in any wind, and soon fall down. The hooch moves as a unit. Stress is on the cables, not on the structure."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "I see. How in the world did you ever come with this design?"
JS: "Well, I certainly did not set out to design it. I guess you could call it an evolutionary design. One thing led to another. The original version is in Puerto Rico, though it is not quite the same design strategy. "
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "You have another in Puerto Rico? What is that like?"
JS: "Yes, that one is built with bamboo poles. This one has Douglas fir poles."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "How else is it different?"
JS: Well, it has a bonafide foundation. Actually, that is probably how this thing evolved. The foundation was a five foot by 7 foot cement septic tank. I wanted to build a structure out of bamboo, and the septic tank was a logical perch to set it upon.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "It has the same shape?"
JS: "Yes, five feet by 7 feet isn't very big, so I slanted the bamboo poles up and out, to make a floor area of ten feet by fourteen feet. The design provides for a huge overhang to protect the bamboo from rain, and direct sun, both of which eventually deteriorate the bamboo. The bamboo I used, Guadua angustifolia, is known for its resistance to rot and termites. So, it should last for a while."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: " and you used cables for support?"
JS: " Actually, just a couple. Mostly, the structure was tied into the foundation of the main house with a strong bridge." It sits down the hill from the main house, so the bridge hooks in very nicely."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "What about hurricanes"
JS: "Believe me, that was a concern. I tied the foundation in well with lag bolts, and through bolted all the joinery. Still, I did not know until hurricane Georges hit."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "What happenned?"
JS: (laughs) "That's a story in itself. It survived. The hurricane was a category three, that's like 120 mile per hour gusts, and it was a direct hit. I watched the hooch through the storm. If it was going to go, I wanted to see it fly off (laughs). It would do all sorts of contortions, only to bounce back to its original shape. The bamboo was the key. It is extremely strong and flexible.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "So, you are in to bamboo as well"
JS: "Oh yes, bamboo was my original obsession, and still is. The hooch is just one design extension. In Puerto Rico, bamboo is common, so it is a logical building material, as well as artistic medium. There is plentiful bamboo here in Oregon as well, just smaller. You can see bamboo is a major part of the hooch, not the poles, however.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Yes. Woven bamboo walls, candleholders, and a bamboo chandelier. Very nice. So how did the hooch evolve to this version?"
JS: We moved to Oregon to get a decent education for our kids. It has opened up many new horizons, literally, but we all missed our hooch. The design evolved with the intention of making it portable. The ecologic consequences became almost an afterthought.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: You did not intend for the hooch to subscribe to the principles of eco-design?
JS: Actually that has always been my underlying design criteria. I just did not realize that this path was so in tune with the concepts of other designers and thinkers.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Such as?"
JS: " Well, it was when I was working out the details of the hooch that I read "Biomimicry", the book by Janine Benrus. As it turned out, I had been student of Biomimicry and I didn't know it. The hooch is like a culm of bamboo, tall, with shallow roots. How does it stay upright, when any decent breeze has the capacity to topple it? Well, bamboo grows in dense clumps, and branches of the canopy intertwine, giving support to adjacent bamboos. They do this by tension mostly, just as the cables of the hooch hold up this single culm of a hooch. I call it bamboomimicry. This is nothing new, bamboo has used this structural strategy since forever. The other thing is that the hooch is a great place to experience nature. Up here, birds are everywhere. Deer walk below oblivious. We see, we hear, we feel this place, this natural spot. I did not realize the basis of these good vibes until I read Biophilia, by E. O Wilson. It's a fundamental need of human existence to experience nature. This is a great way to do just that.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "And the structure, as you say, is environmentally benign."
JS: yes, it fits anywhere, with almost zero alteration of the site. It is pre-fabbed off site, then erected on site. I like to say it has the smallest footprint of any land based structure. And isn't that what eco-tecture is all about. Living lightly, with a small footprint.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Still, though, the hooch lacks a few amenities."
JS: "Oh yes, But I am just getting started. This is like the first step to eco-awareness. It is a platform upon which to embellish the ideas of living lightly. I plan to make the hooch encloseable for the cold months (like now), maybe a small kitchenette on the landing, and, of course, an alternative, renewable energy heating system. "
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "The wool blankets and hot tea work for me."
JS: "Me too. And we all enjoy the chiminea. Though the heat is pretty transient. I built a hooch in Eugene along the Long Tom river. It's bigger, with a bigger chiminea, but I am thinking of generating some current from a water wheel to heat an electric blanket. It might work.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "You've built several hooches."
JS: "Yes, two in Puerto Rico, three in Oregon. There are possibly others.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Possibly others?"
JS: " I've put together a booklet that is a step by step construction manual for the do it yourselfer". I've sold a few. It requires some carpentry skill, but at least some people see the light .(laughs)" I'd love to see a bunch of hooches as the private space for an eco-resort. Kind of a bed and breakfast deal. That'd be cool."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "The hooch isn't your conventional building strategy. It certainly does not fit the building codes. How do you deal with that?"
JS: "True, it certainly doesn't. I've looked into getting a structural analysis, and, although it is fundamentally structurally sound, the fact that it connects to trees, with an unquantified strength, makes it not permittable. Also, the analysis is only valid for a particular location. So, the strategy is this. I keep the floor area less than 120 square feet [11 m²], making it exempt from the universal building code. And, it is a temporary structure- no permanent foundation, and easily dismantled, not unlike a tent.
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "One last question. Where does the name come from?"
JS (laughs) "Most everyone associates hooch with an illegal, homemade beverage. And perhaps a correlation could be drawn. The word derives from a Japanese word, meaning "shelter". I learned "hooch" as a word we used in Viet Nam to describe the small dwellings of the rural Vietnamese. There is no structural similarity, however. They both are just small, and efficient."
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Well, this sure has been an experience to remember. Thanks you so much for sharing your hooch and your time. I'd love to spend a night in one, sometime."
JS: "You are certainly welcome. And you are welcome to stay, tonight if you like. Summer is better, though. More tea?"
OutlawArchitecturemag.com: "Yes, please."
(Jo Scheer markets his tropical treehouse in Puerto Rico as a vacation rental. His website, www.tropical-treehouse.com, also has a devoted section to his hooch design, offering a construction manual and construction services on the West coast of the United States.)
pasted from Jo's web page tropical-treehouse.com - with the hope that he will embellish with his creative updates
From Cheg[edit]
The argument has been going on for years about what came first, the chicken or the egg? But i have the truth...
Hundreds of millions of years ago around the dinosaurs times, there lived the Cheg. He had the head, wings and feet of a chicken and his main body was very similar to an egg. He ate small insects and seeds, and drank water from the streams. The cheg was very near to extinction due to a lack of food in the woodlands so it migrated to What we know now as Northern Italy. There, through millions of years, it evolved and eventually split into two halves, the chicken and the egg. After awhile the chickens flew all over the world and layed there eggs in all different countries around the world until they became very common as farm animals and wild animals too. But people forgot about the origins of the cheg after hundreds of years and so people now argue over it and no-one realises the real truth...
From User talk:Zzyzx11[edit]
- I love getting unsigned messages from sockpuppets like this one in regards to Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Brennan Reilly. [2]. Zzyzx11 (Talk) 00:07, 1 Jun 2005 (UTC)
Hello, my name is Paris Hilton and I find Brennan Reilly to be one of the most notable individuals I know. Even more notable than Lindsay Lohan. Well, actually her rack might be more notable than Brennan Reilly, but he's still pretty damn notable. I hope I, Paris Hilton, can be considered a credible 3rd party source.
From The Suffering: Ties That Bind[edit]
some shit
From Tom Grimshaw[edit]
will repost when i'm done with it, and i'll log in.
my name isn't tom by the way, i wouldn't be a cunt and write a wiki article about myself.
From List of ways Kenny dies (entire article)[edit]
Here is a list of the notorious ways that Kenny McCormick from South Park dies:
- Herpees
- Monster's eating
- Piano drop
- Puking out the intestinse
Ninja[edit]
NINJAS R TOTALLY REEL AND SUTFF N N E DOUBTERS R TOTALLY GAY AND THEY LIEK TEH CAWK LFGOFMFOAFLMA U FEGS LZOZLO HEY WATHC GUYS I AM SUM1 WHO DON'T LIEK NINJA 'Hi I don't like ninjas but I do like gay sex oneoneoneoneone' LOZMFOGMOFMFOFMGOZM LIEK UR MOM LMFAO!!!11oneoneoneoneoneoneoenoenoeneone
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF NINJAS DO HAVE EYE LASERS YOU GUYS WHO SAY THEY USED SWORDS ARE GAY LIKE THAT OTHER GUY (See above.)AND I THINK U SHULD GET BENT BECAUSE U R LAME AND STUPID AND YOUR HEAD IS FAT AND IS LAME WATCH THIS IS YOUR HEAD ( o . o ) SEE HOW FAT IT IS?!?!?!? THAT IS HOW FAT YOUR HEAD IS MR FAT HEAD YOUR HEAD IS VERY FAT AND I THINK IT SHOULD NOT BE FAT ONEOOENEOENEOENOENEo1n11!"/1?!!?!?1?1/11oi1oeneoen
NINJAS FLEW AND WERE LIKE BZZZOOOM AND SHOT EYE LASERS AND WE'RE ALL KOOL CAUZE NINJAS R KOOL N HAD SUPER POWERS AND WEREN'T LAME OR ANY OF THAT DUMB STUFF THEY ACTUALLY HAD SUPERPOWERS UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T WHICH IS A LOT OF PEOPLE I MIGHT ADD BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? NINJAS ROCK YOUR FACE TOTALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE TEH AWESOME AND RULE AND YOU DO NOT RULE YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A NINJA YOU ARE TEH LAMEZORZ LOZLZOLZOZLZOZLZOZLZOl2?!!11oneoneoneoneone ~Zee
From Moongate[edit]
The black moongate, if given to the pub landlord in Britannia, allows you to fly. This landlord only appears on the night of a full moon.
- In Ultima games, there are many unusual things. Casually distributin' heck of a huge magical portals to random barkeepers isn't one of them.
From Union Light, Heat & Power[edit]
Union Light, Heat & Power is a subsidiary of Evil Saintness Corp. Ltd., originally founded by the Prince of Darkness to summon his people prior to the End Time. Which will occur in early January 2009. Union Light, Heat & Power sends massive amounts of electrons through their vast distribution network, often resulting in customer spontaneous combustion
From Pha trainers[edit]
Section 1) Ditching
1.1: If anyone does not train at 3:15, then they will be considered ditchers, and therefor are ditching.
1.1.2 (the early exception) if anyone ditches before 3:15, and tells at least two people that he is ditching, then he will not be considered a ditcher 1.2: If anyone ditches for a reason that is not detention, or peer tutoring reason, they will be punched two times on the arm.
1.2.2: (The Billy Exception): rule 1.2 does not necessarily apply to Billy Baringham, because punching does not affect him, so the punching is up to the punchers discretion. 1.3: If a person tells at least one other person that he is going to the bathroom, buying a t-pass, or making a phone call, or any other action taking under 3 minutes, then they other trainers must wait fo him or they will be considered ditchers. If this occured it is a punishable by no less than a "what the hell" and no more than 2 punches on the arm.
Section 2) Walgreening
2.1: Every trainer must go to walgreens, when they are training.
2.1.2: (the Wendy's and CVS exception): any trainer that wishes to go to Wendy's or CVS may do so during the walgreening period, but they will not be considered trainers for the duration of there trip to said stores. When they return to the other side of the street they return to being trainers, and therefore must go to walgreens under rule 2.1. The other trainers present may decide not to enforce that rule, but if this rule is tried to be enforced, and the Wendy'ser does not conhere, then the other trainers must punish him with no less than 1 punch by each other trainer, and no more than 3 punches by each other trainer. 2.2: A good walgreener is someone who buys a lot of stuff on sale.
section 3) grubbing
3.1: All trainers have the right to grub as much as they want.
3.2: If Jirom Yibra wants something and so does someone else, you must give it to Jirom, if you give it to anybody. If this rule is not complied with it is punishable by no less than a punch on the arm by Jirom and no more than 2 stabs on the arm by Jirom.
3.3: The number one trainer must give Jirom, any anybody else who does not have food, at least some food. Any person who recieves food from the number one trainer must comply with any reasonable request by the number 1 trainer.
section 4) borrowing money
4.1: Any trainer has the right to request money from any other trainer at any time.
4.2: If a non-Jirom trainer borrows money he must pay it back.
4.3: If Jirom borrows money he does not have to pay it back.
4.4: If a borrower says he will not pay it back, then he does not have to pay it back
section 5) coming home from porter
5.1: Julian walks on the left, and Josh walks on the right
5.2: Josh must spin those spinny things every day.
section 6) The training order
6.1: the training order shall be decided on by the #1 trainer.
6.2: The #1 trainer is considered a training god, and anyone who has ever been a #1 trainer is automatically a demi-god. The #2 trainer is also a demi-god.
6.3: the traing order shall be decided on citizenship, age, generosity. race, loadedness, walgreening ability, and amount of ditching.
from WP:POINT[edit]
Is voting against a vote on whether a disruption to make a point is a disruption to make a point or not a disrupting to make a point in itself?
From Honeymoon[edit]
Another possible origin that has been talked about is that it comes from Honey's moon. Honey is what a married copule calls eachother, and moon in the context refers to the buttocks. This originates from the days when couples rarely saw eachother naked before marriage, and the night of the honeymoon would often be the first time someone saw their honey's moon.
^^^^^^the above is a reasonable and rational explanation.
- ^^^^^ no, it's not.
Creative Insanity[edit]
What is Creative Insanity ?
To create something new, you need to make it different from the old.
In several cases thru history, creative geniuses have been labelled insane before they were called genius
So if you are (creatively) insane you might be a genius.
QED
Pope Benedict XVI[edit]
A frequent theme of vandalism of the Pope Benedict XVI article is his His Holiness' alleged similarity in appearance to Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars universe.
See: Wikipedia:Oh my God! You Deleted Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense! You bastard!/Pope Benedict XVI
From Catfire[edit]
Catfire is defined as, not a cat on fire, but the fire that the cat is engulfed in.
Count Mickey Mouse[edit]
Count Mickey Mouse was the apprentice of the Jedi Master Goofy, he was killed by the Sith Darth Scroogius during the Toon Wars
From Talk:Angry_Young_Men[edit]
Bold textPerhaps it's the exact timing of being 'angry OLD men', due to the international economic problems, due to social problems and others....There has been a real real good time for almost everybody, in our western world!!!!! What's gonna be left in a copple of years!!!! Capitalism thought it had won, after the fall of the iron curtain, of communism. It only brought more power and wealth to the multi-nationals. Wrong, of course; but it happen. The situation now is clear whether the company is situated in f.i. 'Antartica' or the 'mount Everest' it has to be succesfull; region-related off now importance. It has to be stopped; or we're arrive back in the Mid-Ages; if it's not already too late.
From the In The News section of the Main page[edit]
Somebody appears to have been rather partisan:
- In tennis, Justine Henin-Hardenne beats Mary Pierce 6-1, 6-1 to win the women's singles title in the 2005 French Open.
Victims of the Srebrenica Massacre
- This is what happens when you update one half of the template, but not the other half.
Chair racing[edit]
Chair racing is a newly formed competitive sport, usually held as an inner-campus or office/workspace sport. The rules of the game follow:
- You must have at least two chairs with wheels (or the number of chairs for the number of teams). You must also have a long flat surface in which the chairs can roll down(halls are optimal).
- Each team has one player that rolls down and rolls back on the flat surface.
- This player then tags off with another player of his own team.
- The first team to have all their players complete the circuit (there and back), wins.
Note: It is important that the players don't begin their turn until their team-mate has made it all the way back to the starting line.
CAUTION: At high speeds, chair racing can be dangerous with multiple players in small spaces. Be particularly aware of doors, walls and stairs. It is not recommended to play this game on campuses that have cliffs.
From Template:Tooinnocent[edit]
This article sounds too innocent. Please revise it so that it reflects how horrible its subject matter truly is so that readers do not mistakenly believe its lies.
From User:Linuxbeak/Sandbox[edit]
| Piece of crap | Oh my God! You Deleted Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense! You bastard! is a crappy article, which means it has been identified as one of the crappiest and most awful articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you see a way this page can be updated or improved, especially if it compromises previous work, we implore you to contribute. |
Cleverly added into Mathematics[edit]
The evolution of mathematics can be seen to be an ever increasing series of abstractions. The first abstraction was probably that of numbers. The realization that two apples and two oranges do have something in common, namely that they fill the hands of exactly one person, was a breakthrough in human thought. In addition to recognizing how to count concrete objects, prehistoric peoples also recognized how to count abstract quantities, like time -- days, seasons, years. From counting, naturally followed arithmetic (e.g. addition, subtraction, multiplication and division).
However, mathematics undoubtedly could have developed out of simple sleeping and eating. Perhaps cavemen peoples first used toilet paper by scratching soft yew bark and leaves to do their "business".
Historically, the major disciplines within going to the bathroom arose out of the need to do calculations in commerce, to measure land and to predict astronomical events [diarrhea]. These three needs can be roughly related to the broad subdivision of pooping into the studies of ingestion, digestion and excretion.
Between 1000 B.C. and 1000 A.D. various treatises on fertilizer were authored by Indian fertilizer workers in which were set forth for the first time, the concept of zero, the techniques of laxatives and constipants, square toilet and cube tank. Vedic digestion, as it is referred to today, is a separate field of excretion and courses are offered even in non-Indian universities. Now it is a disliked subject which many children are calling "crap".
From Project-X[edit]
Also, an internet group dedicated to exploring the supernatural with claims to access to realms and beings supernatural in nature.
From Blasphemy of Faith[edit]
The Blasphemy of Faith is a satirical refutation of religious belief, as a counter to Pascal's Wager. The argument runs as follows;
Assume God created the universe and based its structure on universal physical laws. God created humans with the ability and desire to investigate this universe, collect information and critically form theories about its origin. But God must also have careful erased all possible evidence of his own existence, because Scientists have been so far unable to uncover any. Therefore, to believe in God despite a lack of evidence is to deny the logical nature that he gave us. Thus religious faith is blasphemous.