Imagine a world in which every single person is given free access to bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.

Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.

Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35
36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51
52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67u
Best picks 1 2 3 4 5
Helpdesk 1 | Unblock 1

Special collections
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

Parodies the unofficial motto on Meta's home page.

From 30th century[edit]

In the year 3000 the Simpsons becomes a reality and takes over the world

From Bill Oddie[edit]

  • Madonna infamously paid tribute to the former Goodie in her 1992 single Erotica with the lines "Bill Oddie/Bill Oddie/Put your hands all over my body".

Live from Talk:White People[edit]


Salutations from MAGNAGERMANIA: The WHITEMANTIS is proud to announce that we will be deploying three wikidecimation divisions this following weekend the purpose of which will be to sow quantitative chaos and qualitative destruction in the textual environs of field White people, field Caucasoid, field Black people, field Guernica, and field Rothschild. Come for the show, stay for the recriminations and blockings.ProximusPrime

What?! No, seriously what are you talking about? SignaturebrendelNow under review! 03:23, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

Pretty funny stuff. Also, what's funny is my subspace Czech it out. -->. - Nö†$®åM 03:31, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

Response to a vandalism revert on an unnamed userpage.[edit]

Note: Vandal forged the second response, trying to play it off like the user himself responded back to him...

well done, dickhead. I suppose you're one of only 6000 people who rushed out and bought K-Fed's album?! Give me a break - he deserves all the shit he is given. What are you some kind of net-social-justice vigilante? Get a friggin life and enjoy the best years of your high school life instead of being stuck behind a pc. Template:Unsigned

nice try, cockbreath...wait and see what happens when you 'attempt' to prevent me from doing my thing. Sweet FUCK ALL! So go back to jerking off to K-Fed videos....and let me do what I like doing (which is not fucking up useful intereting pages that are of real intellectual substance).Template:Unsigned

Let's fight each other on wikipedia[edit]

A school IP was blocked for vandalism and the school contacted. The IT admins of said school took care of the perpertrator. Sadly, this person wasn't the only lamer at school as others seem to think wikipedia articles are an instant messenger. Watch while two kids, Cory and Leo duke it out on thec Asian lady beetle article, here Special:Contributions/ or specifically [1] [2] [3] [4] until eventually someone blanked the page [5] then someone asked the eternal question [6] Oh and let's not forget this edit about a huge penis [7] Gosh so who's the greatest loser who has no friends? Maybe it's both Cory and Leo? Nil Einne 13:45, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

From Popular sayings of the 1970's[edit]

"What'choo talkin' abou', Willis?"

"Far Fucking Out!"

"Virgins for everybody!"


"We are the Knights who say, "Ni"!"

"I will say, "Ni" again, if you do not bring me a shrubbery! Now gooo!"

"We are now the Knights who say, "Ekey Ekey Ekey Ekey Bing Bang Bong Bam Booosh Val Mooooom!"

"I know that guy is a king! He hasn't got shit all over him."

"In other news, President Nixon has resigned due to being a [expletive deleted]." --Gerald R. Ford

"Frankly, I would have prefered if you hadn't known that I was a crook." --Richard M. Nixon

"I get horny when I read, think about, look at, or even mention my books." --Dr. Suess.

"I. Am. HYPOCRITICAL!" --Dr. Suess.

"Hey, toots! Nice ass! Got a licsense for it!" --still Dr. Suess.

"Remember kids, rob banks and you'll be be filthy rich!" --STILL Dr. Suess.

"The Cat in the hat was originally a pornogrophist as I was going to write horny books but my wife made me write books for stupid 3-year-olds!" --you guessed it, Dr. Suess

"I grope teddy bears!" --Quigley Quagmire

"Romeo, why didn't you just bash Juliet in the head for having such a fake voice and talking so sappily?"

"Fucking teahumpers. You should all be fucking ashamed of your fucking selves for acting so fucking stupid and fucking implicit. Stop being so fucking polite, that isn't what we fucking kids do. Fuck with fucking kid's fucking langugae and the fucking shit be on, fuckers!" --Beaver from Leave it to Beaver

"So, who else thinks that The Brady Bunch is stupid?"

"Let's kill!" --Lyndon B. Johnson.

From Wikipedia[edit]

Wikipedia is an unreliable web based encyclopedia which only an idiot would accept as a legitimate reference.

Fortunately the internet is full of idiots.

Delete United States...[edit]

From Grosse Pointe North High School[edit]

On November 5, 2006, the newly built science wing of Grosse Pointe North High School caught fire after several flares were ignited and placed on the roof of the school by three sophomores. The fire burned a six foot hole into the roof, and damaged the rooms below. Approximately 20 other flares were found scattered on other parts of the school's roof. The flares were thought to have been stolen from a bus used by University Liggett School, a private school in the area. The gravel-like structure of these roof sections prevented any damage. The science wing currently houses the entire science department of Grosse Pointe North High School, including the departments of earth and environmental science, biology, chemistry, astronomy, and physics. Two classrooms were damaged and remain closed, while the rest of the damage has been cleaned up. The perpetrators have all been arrested and have been sentenced to death. At 6:45 am on Friday, November 17th, 2006, the three were hung for grand arson.

Edit Summaries[edit]

# (cur) (last) 02:55, 23 November 2006 NotsraM (Talk | contribs) m (Yet another phunny! I'm on a roll! ALSO: the mayor of australia is a KANGAROO!)

  1. (cur) (last) 02:46, 23 November 2006 NotsraM (Talk | contribs) m (Added a phunny.)

I have a pretty high opinion of myself. - Nö†$®åM 04:08, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

From Modernising Medical Careers[edit]

The article is about new rules for the training of doctors in the UK, which have been the subject of considerable criticism. Template:Merge


Partial Territorial claims (frozen - figuratively and literally) Template:ARG

Ming vase[edit]

A Ming vase is a vase from the period of the Ming Dynasty in China. Often described as being priceless, Ming vases are sometimes featured in slapstick comedy. Because they are so famously valuable, to break one in trivial or exaggerated circumstances is seen as comical.

The Worms World Party videogame even goes to the lengths of including the Ming Vase as a deadly weapon!


You have been permanently promoted to sysop-status for fixing vandalism on Wikipedia. If you wish to relinquish this promotion, you are welcome to stir up trouble and vandalise.

From Sandbox Word Association[edit]

Kevin Federline, White trash, Trailer trash,

From Wii[edit]

mostly people with the first letter of the last name would have a really have a good chance of buying and owning the NINTENDO WII: A, C, D, G, H, K, L, P, I, Y, T, E, R, V, X.

From Snow[edit]

Snow is precipitation in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snooooooooooooooowflakes. Since it is composed of small rough poo particles it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft mushy,brown, poohy structure, unless packed by external pressure.

from Anderson Summers[edit]

Anderson Summers was born on August 32, 38920. He is a male ninja. He helped the three wizards Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley defeat the well known leader of the dark inhabitants, Tom Riddle (aka Voldemort). This great assassination was one of his greatest ninja moves of all times. He used 3 super upperhand chops to the left aortic valve before pecking him to death with the three pointed hammer of sheer domination. This story went down in history and Novermber 29 will always be known as Slaughter Day. The complete and utter domination was most likely because of the fact that Anderson is a Rainbow belt in Karate as well as Kung Fu. He pwnt all of the L33T archers in the Den of Evil as well as the Ancient Hun lord, Ghenghis Kahn. The Official birth date of Anderson's soul is unknown because he keeps being rezurected. The utter dominance of his sorcerer capabilities must lie within the heart of his cross multiplied staff of evil spirits. Martinp23 20:21, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

from Jimmy Wales[edit]

                  / \\
                 /   \\
                /_   _\\
      _      _____|_|___
     | |    / _________ \\
     | |   | (___ | |  | |
     | |    \\_ \\| |  | |
     | |________) | |__| |
    Liquid Syko Destruction


 LSD pwns j00!! Drugz is gudz.


    Request to join LSD by
   posting a Usenet article
 entitled \'Attn: L.S.D\' in the


   Luv LSDude, echelon77 and

 Greetz to FFF, THC and all the
      l33t dudes out there!


      Some people hack it,
      Some others crack it,
         We ransack it!




Green-eyed kissing monster[edit]

The green-eyed kissing monster is a member of the species "cute girl," and is known for it's propensity for all night make-out sessions. Any man lucky enough to find an unattached specimine should bundle her yum immediately.

From List of unusual deaths[edit]

Redirected from List of people who died with rods up their behind

From User talk:Prof02/Erich Heller[edit]

After being requested to use edit summaries when editing, a user responded with this:

I regret I am unable to submit myself to your demands.

(1) Edit summaries. No court of law anywhere in the world, not even in the post-Orwellian world, would legitimize the doublespeak whereby the author of a work-in-progress could be considered to be his own ‘editor’ for the purpose of defining his rights vis-à-vis his own work. If however, as the author of the work-in-progress in question, I am asked to provide ‘edit summaries’, I am in reality being asked to provide you and others, not with any ‘editorial’ details that might help anybody with anything, but rather give you a privileged insight into my creative process, disclose my work methodologies, organization of material, priorities given to certain aspects of the subject, the direction in which I am going with the article, etc., etc. No one has any right whatever to this information, and insistence that I divulge it constitutes an invasion of my privacy as the author. While such an invasion may not violate Wikipedia’s internal guidelines and policies, it is against the law of my country (which is also the country where Wikipedia was founded). By becoming a guest on this website and by using your facilities I did not, voluntarily or involuntarily, implicitly or explicitly, surrender the rights vested in me by the law of the land. Their infringement is an offence. Whatever Wikipedia guidelines might say, they do not supersede the law of the land, whether they are pressed ‘politely’ or ‘impolitely’.

... (it continued on about other matters, which although hilarious to read, aren't quite as funny as above)...

-- Prof02 09:12, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

Automotive autoerotism[edit]

Automotive Autoerotism or Exhaustiophilia is a relativly new fetish explored by young men in metropolitan areas. The most common form of Automotive Autoerotism involves finding a recently parked vehicle and inserting the penis in the warm exhaust for sexual gratification.

Gaschminka - land of the north[edit]

Gaschminka is a small country located within the borders of Luxemborg. It has a population of on 35,120. The government is a monarchy led by King and Queen Gaschmumple - their son Prince Rassmusen was born in 2001 and not expected to take the thrown for some time. the country was established in 2000 when the Gaschminkans succeeded from Luxemborg proper.

The countries main products are cheese, toy soldiers and edible legos.

The land mass is 187 square miles and is surrounded by mountains. The climate shares the same attributes as Luxemborg - the country that surrounds it.

The languages spoken are English and in some homes - Gaschminkian - a latin/ebonic derivitive from the Teutonic Ages.

The people are friendly and quite humble in nature. They eschew modern technology preferring to utilize horse drawn carriages and minimize their use of electricity and modern technology except for medical services and the occassional Ipod.

Maps of the territories are still being created and are expected to be published soon.

From Pokemon Trading Card Game[edit]

The first card that WotC banned was Sneasel from Neo Genesis. Sneasel was banned before it ever became legal for play outside of Japan. This was because of the enormous effect it was having on the format in Japan. Decks with Sneasel were winning almost every major tournament, making all other decks un-competitive. This was because of Sneasels ability to abuse the new Darkness Energy cards (which increase the power of all Dark-type attacks by 10), no weakness, a free retreat cost, quickly powered-up attacks, and the ability to do enormous damage. In short, Sneasel was faster and more powerful than any other card in the game at the time. The only other card banned was the mitchell card exclusivly made for thunder bay. It was banned because it had a male showing his small wiener and his name was mitchell

From George W. Bush[edit]

George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is the 43rd worst Pesident]

Editor's note: This would actually mean he was the BEST president, since there have been only 43 US presidents

From Hystricognathi[edit]

They exhibit a partial passage of the masseter medialis through the infraorbital foramen as the masseter maxillomandibularis, which being transmitted axially by the rostral surface of the maxilla distinguishes them from the Myomorpha and the Protrogomorpha. The lack of infraorbital plate to which to anchor the masseter lateralis and the relative size of the infraorbital foramen distinguishes hystricognathi from the Sciuromorpha.

This overly jargonized article was BJAODN'd in 2005 and still hadn't been changed at all!

From iPod Nano[edit]

"...trip through a washing machine also failed to kill it, although it did require two days to dry out before coming fully back to life.

It is also a built in navagation


"...Colors and Pricing

The nano was launched in two colors (black or white) with two available sizes: 2 GB (roughly 500 songs) for $199 USD and 4 GB (1000 songs) for $249 USD. On February 7, 2006, Apple updated the lineup with the 1 GB model (240 songs) sold at $19 USD...".

"Pope Benedict XVI owns an 2GB iPod nano, becoming the first Pope to own an iPod."


"i think that ipods are gay becaus eliek my friend said that he had a ipod and hes liek gay so i thought that the i pod would be gay but then i like got one and it wasnt that bad!! now i know that gay bpeople are cool and liek the same music as me!"

"...Apple's gayware engineering chief Jon Rubinstein assembled a team of engineers to design it.." "...A mock-up display of the fifth generation iPod, playing the song Feel Good Inc by the band gayrillaz..." "...The second generation replaced it with a "Touch me" that reacts to human capacitance..."

From Wikipedia:Questions[edit]

Yah ur stinky!!! johnny and gabbie...u both eat each others poo while u both get it on, but johnny cant leave gracie out so she joins, then joe ginley, but joe ginley cant forget about joe sample, so while both joes are getting johnny, gabbie, and gracie...its all good!!!!!!!!!!!! haha poop faces!!

From Uwe Boll[edit]

Steveuwe Spielboll[edit]

Uwe Boll was recently fused with Steven Spielberg in a telepod accident. Just like in the movie The Fly, they became some wierd hybrid neither really good director or really bad director.

Image request[edit]

(from the village pump) In the name of $100CAD for Wikimedia, does anybody have some ideas for appropriate pictures for the Cro-Magnon article? _________ 23:58, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

how about this one?


The early Scots can be credited with the first use of biological warfare. It was common practice for them to fling feces at the enemy. Wearing kilts allowed them easy access to the ammunition.

Oh, the humanity! 14:07, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Frick'n yeah[edit]

A phrase often used by mullets

Institutionalized Tyranny[edit]

- Chicago's Mayor Daley supports the city's current illegal ban on the carrying of handguns and other defensive weapons, and is openly hostile to the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution. Chicago's municipal government is also a redistributionist "Welfare state" government with its own 8.5% city tax. Even basic property rights such as choice of food ( Foie gras [8] ) have recently come under attack from Chicago's openly socialist city council. The city's placement of "big brother"-style video cameras in Chicago's poorest neighborhoods is also in violation of the spirit of the Third Amendment to the United States Constitution, which literally guards against the quartering of soldiers, in an original attempt to limit the power of the government to invade the privacy of the citizenry. The video surveillance is a further attempt to ride herd over Chicago's minority population in an effort to further the nationwide "war on (some) drugs", which was begun in 1907 as justification for targeting ethnic minorities for arrest and harassment -often as tax-financed 'make-work' for openly racist police departments attempting to prevent black men from copulating with white women. (The scale of the "war on drugs" was increased under presidents Reagan and Nixon, who, though Republican in name were not bothered by the "war on drugs'" open contradiction of the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution.) The ongoing "war on some drugs" is a more modern extension of the prohibition that brought the city to its knees during Chicago's "gangster era" during the 1920s (see also: Al Capone ). Chicago's city government is thus correctly considered to be a criminal entity in violation of the highest law of the land (The US Constitution), by libertarians and constitutionalists.

From Mario[edit]

this diff by Bowser Koopa.

Excerpts from Talk:Boredom (They must've been... well... bored!)[edit]

Escaping Boredon[edit]

"A common way to escape boredom is through creative thoughts or daydreaming." I inserted the word "is" to make this make a little more sense, but it stills seems like an awkward sentence. Should it be changed/deleted?

Couldn't another definition be "The state of mind that results in excessive edits of Wikipedia?"

The study of stockbrokers who get so bored they begin to trade stocks for no objective reason reminds me of how laws are made. Perhaps if we structered politicians' days better, with well-defined and engaging play activities, exciting and nutritous snacks, and generous naptimes, there would be fewer laws.

I like...I like.

IM SO FLIPPIN BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER HAPPY ALWAYS BORED

When i'm bored I like to eat... Alot

Definition Suggestion[edit]

"Boredom" is what you are if you are looking up the word "boredom" on Wikipedia.

No, "bored" (adjective) is what you are if looking up the word "boredom" on Wikipedia. And you're right. That's why I'm here. That's also why I'm here.

That's why I'm here, too

That's totally why I'm here as well.

That is why I'm here also.

And me.

me too.

same here.

i think its enough of us to stop saying were are here.

yeah i think so.

so do i.

i don't.

well no one cares about you so shh.

i don't care either im just bored.

ok everyone gathered that we are all bored?



sure have.

i haven't.


have a hissy fit then!

yay its over.

no its not we haven't even started yet cause we are that bored.


again with someone having a hissy fit.

I dispute this. I came here for very specific reasons. Boredom is worth having a serious encyclopedia about; it's tied to a lot of actual issues. Cazort 00:16, 31 July 2006 (UTC)

Boredom is a very important issue! Someone needs to write a very long-winded article about it! BTW I'm also here because I'm bored.

Me too.

From Fall Out Boy[edit]

A Bunch of FAGS Fall out boy should fall out of a 10 story window

The band released the POC(piece of crap) Split with Project Rocket in 2002 on Uprising Records. The band then released their debut album Fall Out Boy's Evening Out With Your Boyfriend, on Uprising Records in 2003. During this period Fall Out Boy built a following playing in Chicago, but especially the surrounding suburbia, which had become a popular area for punk, hardcore, and emo music. One venue of particular significance and influence was the Knights of Columbus Hall. This was the site of many early Fall Out Boy shows. The Fall Out Boy video for "Dead on Arrival" was shot at the Knights of Columbus Hall, which also served as a site for several "secret shows".

Drummer Andy Hurley joined the band after Boyfriend was released. The same year they released their second full-length album, Take This to Your Grave, on Fueled By Ramen, with singles such as "Grand Theft Autumn (Where is Your Boy)" and "Saturday" receiving airplay on FUSE and mtvU. The album achieved Gold status. In 2003 the band signed with Island Records. They released the acoustic EP My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to My Tongue, on Fueled By Ramen, which included a DVD, in 2004.

In 2005, the band's stability was threatened when Wentz overdosed on the anti-depressant Ativan® in an apparent suicide attempt.To bad he didn't succeed! The song "7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)," from their album From Under The Cork Tree, is based upon Wentz's experience. On May 3, 2005, Fall Out Boy released their major label debut (third full-length album) From Under The Cork Tree, which debuted on the Billboard charts at #9, selling over 70,000 copies in its first week, and soon thereafter achieving Double Platinum status. Their first single, "Sugar," peaked at #8 on the Billboard "Hot 100" charts and reached #1 on MTV's TRL, where the video was retired. The video also won the MTV2 Award at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards. The band was nominated for "Best New Artist" at the 2006 Grammy Awards.

They will be joining artists Marilyn Manson and Panic! at the Disco on the new The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.

Fall Out Boy has toured with multiple bands, including Taking Back Sunday, Less Than Jake, blink 182, Panic! At the Disco, Midtown, Hawthorne Heights, The All-American Rejects should be rejected by all americans, and From First to Last.

This seems like rather nasty homophobic vandalism. Should it really be immortalised here? WJBscribe 23:58, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

SpongeBob Spongey Info[edit]

SpongeBob is a Sea Sponge Who Lives In Bikini Bottom.


[NOTE: is patriotic. We will not permit any criticisms, “tips,” or unreasonable accusations or negative commentary on any security procedures or experiences related to airports, security, or flights. We live in a complicated time, and certain procedures – even if occasionally imperfect or inconvenient – deserve our cooperation and support.]

From Morrissey[edit]

Morrissey once cured 'the fear' from a group of Vietnamese prostitutes by naming every active roster member of the Dallas Cowboys from their SuperBowl winning squad of 1978. Morrissey's bravery was awarded with a special 'An Evening With...' show on national Vietnamese TV. However, half way through transmission loud bangs were heard and Morrissey went to investigate with a TV crew following. What was first believed to be fireworks turned out to be the healed prostitutes being lined up and killed by a firing squad. Morrissey is yet to return to Vietnam.

From Harry Potter 7[edit]

On speculating rumours:


  • Snape will hijack a muggle airplane, and cast a spell that will multiply himself. Harry J. Potter will have to rescue the hostages and kill the Snapes. Because of these details, some have guessed that the book will be called Harry Potter and the Snapes on a Plane

From Sandbox Word Association[edit]

Confused, Mental Block, Mentally retarded, George W Bush, Cunt

From Killian documents[edit]

No evidence was ever offered that the memos originated with the Bush campaign. Rove and Stone have denied any involvement. If one of them did help create the documents, it remains a mystery how they knew that CBS would fail to heed the warnings of their own document analysts and run with the story.

As much of a mystery as why I know that erections would occur if I sent a stripper to a frat party, I'm sure.

The Classic "oops..."[edit]

Administrator warns self to stop vandalizing... :D RadioKirk (u|t|c) 03:54, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

From Adam Felber[edit]

Adam Felber is a member of the Cheese Explorer's Club; traveling the world to find different cheeses and explore them both physically and emotionally. His book, "Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give Edam: Two Years In The Gobi Desert" won the Very Gouda Book Prize and made the Cheese Retailers' Society Monthly Newsletter Bestseller List for 87 weeks straight, losing out the number one spot only once to a reprint of Stephen King's "The Stand."

From Special:Contributions/Deathz0r[edit]

  • First edit, to his/her userpage:
"If I post a comment about an article in discussion, there's a damn good chance I know more about it than you. Keep that thought in mind before you make a pointless debate with me"
  • Second edit, to an AfD discussion:
Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Skulltag

Red page[edit]

Red Page, refers to a page which is mostly or completely red, whether on purpose or not. Redredred.svg

Norwegian Antelope[edit]

The Norwegian Antelope is a very rare breed of antelope, finding shelter in the icy mountain caves of Mount Heiden Gleiden Fi-Fi-Fo-Feiden McScheiden Stroodle with a cherry on top. The Norwegian Antelope is, like I said, a very rare breed of antelope. In fact, there are only two left...Both of which are males, so they're screwed as far as re-creating the species goes.

As far back as August, 2006, there were three left, the third being a female. Unfortunately, my grandfather, along with a friend of mine's grandfather ate it, and are now trapped in the lower region of Djibooti (Ji-boo-dee) now being chased by the Norwegian Police, who are shouting, "crak is wack." Oh the poor people, and the poor antelopes. Unless one of the two Norwegian Antelopes becomes trans-gender and goes "under the knife", then the species of the Norwegian Antelope will reign in Norwegia, no longer.

Posted here. Martinp23 14:25, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Shaun Goater[edit]

From the very first version of Shaun Goater, from March 2004:

Shaun Goater is a footballer who was named after a national holiday in his home country of Bermuda.

His main claim to fame during his Manchester City career was that he had his own song, "Feed The Goat and he will score". This was mainly a work of fiction.

Shaun once appeared in the local paper, the Manchester Evening News in the "Face in the crowd" picture, where an ordinary local person was photographed in the street and could claim £50 if he read the paper and recognised himself. It seems the sports department at the MEN weren't readers of their own paper or didn't know who Shaun Goater was.

Shaun left City to pursue his career as a model for ear warmers.

From Old age[edit]

okay old people are people who are extremely old. they have wrinkles on their skin. they can't hear. or see. therefore they can't drive for shit. they go to walmart like 5 times a week. they are always at fucking public events. most of them drive on motorized vechiles like those moving chair things which are always in-the-way. some of them wear glasses for their eyes or hearing aids but even then that doesn't help them. they're always in the hospital because their too fucking stupid to realize what they're doing. they all are bald or have white hair. some old people enjoy living in a retirement home (like an apartment only with all old people). if they arent retired they like working at walmart, volunterring jobs, and substitute teachers. im glad im not a dumb-fuck old person.

From Daniel Craig[edit]

Bold textI am Daniel Craigs and the penguins beat me. shoot! Where are my gay boys when I need them?

Ollie the Magic Skater's User page gone wrong![edit]

Wassup Dudes, I'm ollie the magic skater, AKA Alexander C Smith. I have a huge interest in skateboarding. I own a Birdhouse Tony hawk Full Skull Skateboard.

Tony Hawk has EVERYTHING to do with Kiss, whose music has been used in COUNTLESS movies, tv shows, commercials, etc. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Marcngin 00:55, 11 April 2006 (UTC) Template:User infant This userpage has been vandalized 5 times.

[[wikipedia:Category:Wikipedians who listen to hard rock|User:Ollie the Magic Skater]]Template:Userbox-r A killer cyborg disguised as a baby.

From Cleopatra--queen of Egypt[edit]

My dad knew her.

From Dane Cook[edit]

Check out Dane Cook's Filmography... strange I don't remember a movie called Not Funny.

Year Title Role
1997 Flypaper Tim
1997 Buddy Fair Cop
1999 Spiral David
1999 Simon Sez Nick Miranda
1999 Mystery Men The Waffler
2002 L.A.X. Terrell Chasman
2002 The Touch Bob
2003 Stuck on You Officer Fraioli
2003 8 Guys Dane
2003 Windy City Heat Roman Polanski
2004 Mr. 3000 Sausage Mascot
2004 Torque Neil Luff
2005 Not Funny Unfunny Comedian
2005 Waiting... Floyd
2005 London George
2006 Employee of the Month Zack Bradley
2007 Farce of the Penguins Voice
2007 Mr. Brooks Mr. Smith
2007 Dan in Real Life Lowell Ashburn
2007 Good Luck Chuck Chuck/Charlie

From Platypus Rex[edit]

Platypus Rex is a rather obscure rock band from Boston. What's perhaps even funnier about this false "history" of the band is that this user [9] insists that it is true and has repeatedly accused this user [10] of vandalism for reverting it - despite the fact the latter is actually a member of the band.

Revision as of 23:32, 20 July 2005 by User:PlatypusRexRocks:

From Edward Mullany[edit]

Edward George Mullany is a genius, years ahead of his time. He is interested in politics, literature, science, and history. It is known that he will achieve a great many things later in life. This is still to be determined.

From Wikipedia[edit]

Perhaps the most clear-cut criticism of Wikipedia is that it fails to live up to its ideal of well-cited articles. While there are clearly many articles which are rich in citations, and while efforts to improve are ongoing, it is clear that the majority of information in Wikipedia has no cited sourceTemplate:Fact.

Note: This is neither a bad joke nor is it yet deleted from the article. Still thought it was funny enough to preserve in the event the fact is ever cited.

The Hobby of Watching Paint Dry[edit]

Watching paint dry is a hobby common among many British people. Originally thought of as being dull, this fad is proving to be very popular and many paint shops are booming from its success.


Up until the 21 century, people did not appreciate watching paint dry, however, after experiments done in the year 2000, German scientists found a lot of interesting remarks about watching paint dry. After a eport released in a popular science magazine, many people bought some paint to watch it dry. They found the changes in the paint to be remarkable and so a fad kicked in


Watching paint dry is especially common amoungst young teens, however it is feared that fumes released from the paint could cause cerebal damage.


As this craze rises, many people predict paint sales will triple in the next 10 years as more people become addicted to watching paint dry

Clock Looking-At[edit]

An elderly man looking at a clock with excitement

Clock Looking-At is a growing fad in the United Kingdom. It involves a person looking at a clock, usually for a couple of hours.


It started in the 1980's, when a group of schoolchildren from Nottingham decided to stare at a clock because they were bored. A couple days later, they became addicted. Some schoolchildren even skipped school to look at clocks.

Clock Looking-At Today[edit]

Clock Looking-at todat is a booming industry. Clock Sales went up by 80%, for the sole purporse of them being stared at. Many addicts would fly hundreds of miles across the globe to stare at exotic unusual clocks. There has even an a reported death, when a Thai man stared at a clock for 3 days staright and faint with excitment.

Clock Looking-At in the future[edit]

The Clock Looking-At fad is in its peak and is still going strong. Many Clock retailers are now millionaires thanks to this.

From: Pendulums[edit]

At the bottom of the page on pendulums, after the references:

"At my school in 5th grade where doing pendulums and we use a string,paper clip, pencil, and a pice of tape.

By:L------ B----------"

From culture jamming[edit]

Culture jam tastes nice on toast.

Schwarz World[edit]

Schwarz World (n) The fantasy land of Ms. Schwarz's classroom, located in Oyster Bay High School, Room 206.

Schwarz World is dedicated to creating fine art on Macs...

The Classes are: High Tech Art1, High Tech 2, Advertising/Graphic Design 1, and Advertising/Graphic Design 2

In Schwarz World there are no races, religions, genders, color or any other minute differences.

And as Ms. Schwarz says, "THINK ABOUT ART!"

Potential Muffins[edit]

Potential Muffin Theory

The Theory Itself The Potential Muffin Theory states that in the universe, there exist a vast amount of potential muffins. Muffins -as well as all other baked goods- are composed of several ingredients. The ingredients not yet mixed, are potential muffins, or other baked goods. The Potential Muffin Theory also states that everything that exists is a potential muffin. For example, rocks are potential muffins, because at the atomic level, the components of atoms (Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons)can be rearranged to create new atoms. This leads to new elements, new compounds, and new substances. These new substances can be created specifically for the creation of muffins.

Application To Life The Potential Muffin Theory concept carries on to almost anything imaginable, like for instance, Theories. Everyone has thoughts. Theories are composed of many thoughts and ideas. Therefore, when the thoughts that abound in the minds of living things combine in the right way, a theory is born. The potential Muffin Theory gave birth to the Potential Theory Theory, and can not be useded in a practical sense until someone discovers the Force Switch Theory(potential), whitch is a Potential Theory. I

Creation The Potential Muffin Theory itself was once a potential theory. Its constituent thoughts originated in the minds of two insightful young minds, with some indirect help from another mind whose thoughts steered the two minds away from the wrong direction.

The Fundamental Theorem of Calculus[edit]

It is of such central importance that the king of england ate it in calculus that it is called the fundamental theorem for the entire field of study.

Apparently not a fan of Conrad Burns[edit]

Revision as of 04:48, 15 July 2006 by

Conrad Ray Burns (born January 25, 1935) is the junior United States Senator from Montana and thanks to intergalactic communication, now known to be the biggest douchebag in the universe.


This rocks man, I mean IT RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i roxorz ur boxorz wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! I heart Wikipe-tan

From Dionysus[edit]

Dionysus, a fervant commie, dedicated his life to socialism and the arts of sharing and caring. He always got drunk and threw wine bottles at Zeus until he was strucken down by the might of his aspirin pills.

Corny Medieval Costume[edit]

Corny Medieval Costume refers to someone wearing a cheesy medieal costume that has been poorly designed. Beware, if you wear such a costume, you may be teased and/or bullied.

From FSRM[edit]

Melbourne Florida is not unfamiliar with the reemergence of Ska and the now more marketable Ska/Punk. Believe it or not Melbourne at one point had a thriving music scene, making it an important stop for every national touring act. Bands were not limited to one club. Bands played anywhere there was a stage or an open mic: The Power Station (which became The Asylum then went through several more name changes not worth remembering) hosted bands like Bad Brains, The Toasters, Fishbone, Skankin Pickle, The Pietasters, GWAR and NOFX. The Lazy Bean (which became Carol’s Place) introduced everyone to the band What and eventually hosted Blink 182 (the important part here was that the Band was shut down because they sucked and not for violating city noise ordinance laws as previously thought). The Hustler mostly allowed the same old Melbourne idiots to play their garbage beer rock with crappy equipment and a horrible sound system (not much has changed, not even the putrid smell in that place) but occasionally saw bands like Strung Out. The Showcase had difficult owners but allowed the scene to take place before 8pm on weekends before turning the place into a “pimp and ho” party for 50 something’s who drove around town with UV lighting under their cars. The Metro Theater played the same old movie every night but occasionally allowed Slapstick and Avail to play there. The only reason to play the College Campus Café was to watch your underage girlfriend get completely hammered and make out with your other girlfriend. The Melbourne Auditorium hosted a few forgettable festivals that are worth remembering. The Satellite Beach Civic Center allowed a concert once until they saw “organized local youth” and then banned all further attempts. Of course the Brothel in West Melbourne was every parents nightmare.

From Gordon Campbell[edit]

As of 2003 Gordon has renounced his claim that he is the rightful heir to the Throne of Humanity and subsequently ceased to demand mortal sacrafice. He is reportedly feeling "just fine with only being Premier."

From "Timon Tirescreamer"*[edit]

  • I made up the name in place of the actual name.

Timon Tirescreamer is a reknowned pediatric gynecologist. He is well known for using props, such as willlly bear, to gain the confidence of his patients. He revolutionized pedriatric-gynecology theory with his 1989 essay "On the Tirescreamerian Poke," and "Vagina, what is it good for?." His work is widely held to be authorative by the CGS (Canadian Gynecological Society) the number 4 rated gynecological society international. Tirescreamer has also maintained a serious interest in geriatric urology, with famous patients including Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, Bob Saget, various supporting members of the '90s sitcom "Full House", Queen Elizabeth, Monty Python, Michael Jackson (during his black years) and Jacob Davit. Timon fell into international cultural disrepute after being implicated in a terrorist plot with Michael Jackson and the Black Panthers. Timon is currently an expatriate and resides in Kuwait, where he holds a weekly book club meeting known as Ahimajend Al Jerezel Muhammad Allah roughly translated as "Turbans and Tuberculosology." He is a lecturer at Kuwait National University, where he was voted 1998 most eligible bachelor (beating out famous undergraduates such as David Hasselhoff), and 2002 Most Likely to Molest. Timon is currently working on a novel, the title of which is in process and has seen various combinations of "Pears, Elephants, Human Genatalia" and "How I overcame Genital Mononucleitus Testicular Syphillus." Timon won a Nobel Peace Prize and Man of The Year award for his philanthropic work on testicle donation, leading the movement with his own 1995 donation of his 3rd testicle and 300 gallons of sperm toward third world countries whos genepool had been failing. Famed Spaghetti critique and model, Claudia Schiffer, was so impressed that she proposed to him on a highly publicized episode of "Who wants to be a millionaire." They divorced in 1991 after fallout regarding Timon's personal hobby of meerkat beastiality. President Bush created a special envoy to promote peace between Timon's socialist revolutionary group "La Hungaria" and the Libyan feminist group "El Vag" regarding disputes over dinner prices in the Ghaurauninafol Province of Kuwait reaching a mandate to keep all appetizer prices under $9.00 and outlawing "gooey bread" from public restaurants and Socialist Cafe's. Quotes ________________________________________ Eric is quoted as saying "I love you, but I hate your mother" Citations ________________________________________ Microsoft Encarta 1993 Journal of Canadian Urologists Kuwaiti Consitution

    • (Note from I who put this here) . . . I did not notice the meerkat referrence when I considered changing the name to Timon . . . honest! X__X

AfD for "Filming mistakes from That's So Raven"[edit]

{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Filming mistakes from That's So Raven}}

From Uncyclopedia[edit]

Template:Start box Template:Succession box Template:End box

From Woot[edit]

Steve told Dennis about the site.

Alternate history? Who knows, definately hilarious.[edit]

Introduction to Texas

Texas is a state in both the Southern and Western regions of the United States of America. The state name derives from a word in the Caddoan language of the Hasinai: táyshaʔ, tecas, or tejas (Spanish spelling); meaning "those who are friends", "friends", or "allies".

Texas declared its independence from Mexico in 1836 and existed as the independent Republic of Texas for nearly a decade. It joined the United States in 1845 as the 28th state. With an area of 268,581 square miles (695,622 km²) and a population of 22.8 million, Texas is second to Alaska in area, and second to California in population.

Texan Nuclear Weapons Programme

The unity of the United States of America, was severely strained in the late 1950's, with a crisis occurring during Price Daniels' period in office as Governor of Texas. Daniels' protested Washington DC's hegemonical role in the Union and protested what he perceived as a special relationship between the national capitol and certain states within the Union.

In a memorandum he sent on 17 September 1958 to President Eisenhower,he argued for the creation of a bipartite directorate that would put Texas on an equal footing with the Washington in terms of political power & defence issues.

Considering the response he was given to be unsatisfactory, Price Daniels' started pursuing an independent defence for his country. Texas withdrew its Naval forces (predominantly reserves & Guard units) from Pentagon command on March 19, 1959, and pursued an independent nuclear programme. In June 1959, the Governor of Texas banned the stationing of US nuclear weapons on Texan soil, which caused the United States to transfer 120 military aircraft out of Texas; on February 13, 1960, Texas tested its first nuclear bomb.

First Texan Nuclear Tests

Governor Daniels' accelerated the Texan weapons programme and on 24 April 1961 after many twists and turns they detonated their first atom bomb in the pan handle. The bomb had a 60 kiloton yield. Texas continued nuclear tests there until 1966 although the later tests were underground rather than atmospheric.

Research and development facilities

Continuous research & technological development is provided by Texas A&M University's Nuclear Research Department, based out of the Texas State Nuclear Research & Peace Studies Department,35 miles south of the State Capitol, Austin. Department members are security cleared by the State of Texas,and research funding for the department during the 2005 year totalled more than $70 million.

Later Developments

The modern Texan-designed warheads are thought to be selectable between 0.3 kt, 5-10 kt and 100 kt; the yields obtained using either the unboosted primary, the boosted primary, or the entire "physics package". Texas has purchased the rights to 58 missiles under the Polaris Sales Agreement (modifed for Trident) from the United States Navy's "pool". These missiles are fitted Texan-built warheads and are exchanged when requiring maintenance. Under the agreement the United States was given certain assurances by Texas and her Governor regarding the use of the missiles, however the United States does not have any veto on the use of Texan nuclear weapons.

Texas,as a state within the United States of America, is not counted as one of the five "Nuclear Weapons States" (NWS) under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Texas has not run an independent development program since the cancellation of the Lone Star missile program in the 1970s, buying U.S. delivery systems and fitting Texan warheads instead.


Fort Comanche , Texas State Nuclear Storage facility, 50 miles south of Odessa. This facility is not on any State or Federal map, by way of the Texan Nuclear Security Act, 1976.

Future Developments

Whilst Texas has no plans to actively proliferate nuclear weapons, she will continue to maintain and upgrade her existing stock pile, believed to be at 70 warheads, as an effective regional nuclear deterrent & counterbalance.

Current Governor of Texas, Rick Perry, supports the retention of Texan Nuclear Weapons.

From Jackson 5[edit]

The Jackson 5 were the five eldest sons of Katherine and Joseph Jackson: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Jumanji, and Michael. Joseph Jackson formed the band in 1962 and served as its manager, with Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, and unrelated youths Reynaud Jones and Milton Hite comprising its original lineup. Within a year, Michael and Jumanji joined the band, and Michael became lead singer as the group developed a following in the eastern and midwestern United States during the mid-1960s.

Jumanji was taken out of the band after he set a rampage of wild African animals throughout a town after kidnapping Alan Parish.

From Wikipedia:Village pump[edit]

This attack was left on the Village Pump. Humorous. I removed the references to actual editors so as to protect the innocent.

Federal agents vehemently deny disrupting Wikipedia for the money: "It's merely to gain sexual favor with President Bush"[edit]

After recent allegations suggesting Federal agents were disregarding the US constitution just for the money, several have stepped forward to insist that money has got nothing to do with it. [Redacted] insisted "Money has got nothing to do with it I would gladly do this just for the chance of sucking off the president some day. Most of the other guys have already had their chance, but for me it's still just a dream." [Redacted] who is ahead of the line from [Redacted] says he too cannot stop thinking about having the President's penis in his mouth. "It's all I think about some days" said [Redacted] after taking [Redacted] cock all the way p his ass. [Redacted] says, "None of us deserve it the [Redacted] does though. And he's certainly taken on the President much more than the rest of us. But he's earned it too."

All of the Federal agents first enlisted inspired by an a famous intern in the Clinton administration's courageous service for our country. [Redacted] said: "Sure we love to disrupt things here on Wikipedia and harass legitimate editors. But why do it if you can't take a full load in the moth from the President?" -- Associated Press

From Talk:Love[edit]

Not actually deleted, but still...

Only humans?[edit]

"Love is a basic dimension of human experience...."

This implies that by definition, no other species are capable of love, which I do not think is fact. Is a revision in order?

  • I'd say, humans are the only species that are verifiably capable of love. - Sikon 02:33, 1 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Moreover, in addition to the point made by User:Sikon, the article does not say that *only* humans experience love (indeed, it makes direct reference to love of nature, the unseen, and spiritual love, which ostensibly can flow both ways, or even between two non-humans). Humans are simply one (of infinitely many) possible points of reference. Since humans are: 1) the primary form of living organism that contributes to and reads Wikipedia;Template:Fact 2) entities whose existence is not subject to considerable debate (at least among humans anyway);Template:Fact and 3) inclined to debate the very notion of love itself [see Talk:Love for authoritative proof]; it would seem the central focus on Human love is appropriate for the sake of brevity, clarity, and authoritativeness. (Although I personally don't mind contributions by goldfish, meteors, and inhabitants of the planet Queldar, its just that such contributions would by their very nature warrant inclusion in another article). dr.ef.tymac 03:23, 1 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Hear hear. Speaking on behalf of (but not as a part of) the zoophiliaic editing community, I demand the inclusion of the love between a man and his (or her) dog/cat/swan/pet furry. ;-) GreenReaper 05:40, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Dr. Richard A. Murphy - a brief biography[edit]

Dr. Richard A. Murphy , philanthropic global adventurer was born on Octember 64th 1841. The son of a mildly eccentric Indian landowner, Richard was raised on the boundaries of what is now the Ranthambore National Tiger reserve in Rajasthan, India. A musical prodigy, his early childhood was a rather lazy affair intermingled with regular tiger shoots and dinner parties at the British High consulate where his noted piano recitals led to an audience with Queen Victoria in 1856. Noted also for his scientific ability he gained a doctorate in Newtonian physics from Cambridge in 1857. His early works became the precursor to Einstein's theories on relativity. Aged 18 he developed an interest in nutrition and in particular with aspects of mineral metabolism to which he acknowledges a "tremendous role" in his youthful looks and age defying longevity. He credits vanadium in particular with its ability to prevent aging and in 1904 he met a youthful Marie Curie age 87 in London at a piano recital where Murphy was conductor of the Royal Philharmonic. Together they formed a formidable team in the global fight against aging. They were married in 1908 and had 1 son and 3 daughters. Unfortunately Marie died as a result of a selenium overdose when the middle daughter then aged just 2, accidentally mislabelled the vial as part of a science experiment she was conducting in the house laboratory. Whilst now 165 he still maintains an interest in science and works extensively on the molecular metabolic role of the vanadoamino acid, CAK67, the 42nd amino acid. He discovered the previous 21 amino acids after becoming interested in aspects of protein degradation by the stinkhorn fungus whilst enjoying a brief careerbreak and interlude photgraphing agaric fungi.

His pastimes include fly tipping in the greater Dublin area and he has an interest in the sociopolitical aspects of new-age hippy lifestyles, in particular marriage and interbreeding. Recently he has become interested in surfing and in particular with learning and understanding the vernacular associated with this broad group of society. He credits his recent interest in this to the goddess Saraswrati, whom he met at a plastics convention on the 25th floor of the Langham hotel in Melbourne. Saraswrati was present in an official capacity as part of a trade mission from the peoples republic of Surf. Together they have developed many new alternatives to the popular string theories associated with the formation of the universe. A new book will be released by them in 2007, in which they will outline their General Discourse on Windswept Trees, a general look at the effects of random chance and fate in changing pre-destined outcomes. In Murphy's view, this represents "the best chance that man has to understand life, destiny and the ultimate outcomes thereof". He analogises life as being "like a tree, albeit a very big one".

Retrieved from ""

(Note: posted by the author himself. Clearly proud of his handiwork. Someone want to go over to its space and nuke it now?) --Calton | Talk 15:52, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

from Arthur Carver[edit]

"Arthur Alfred Carver (1882-1920) Born April 1, 1882 in Baltimore Maryland to Irish imigrant parents, Arthur is best known for inventing the television in 1919....In 1920 he sought a pattent for his new invention, which he called television. Saddly, he never received his pattent. On October 1, 1920 he was murdered by his jealous colleague Enrico Pauli, the inventor of the television camera. Pauli was found guilty in December of that year and hanged on New Year's Day 1921.

AfD on "Don paterson bedfellows"[edit]

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Tanga[edit]



Original research about the use of "bullshit" in Portugal. WP:BOLLOCKS. Húsönd 15:51, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

  • Delete - Wikipedia is not a Portuguese dictionary of slang -- Whpq 16:06, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per nom Hut 8.5 17:09, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Strong Keep this is just another example of the Muslim/Jewish conspiricy to destroy Catholisism and anything relaited to it Template:Unsigned
How is this related to Catholicism? Hut 8.5 18:13, 27 November 2006 (UTC)
How on earth is this a conspiracy? Assume good faith! Delete No original research. Scienter 18:37, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

This page needs no origional resurch as it is the word of God that his faith be spread, and this deleation is clearly an attack on the loyal Portuges Catholics, and hense on God himself. --Sword of Christ 19:12, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

This is now getting to the point of trolling. Please don't insert this rubbish in the future. Hut 8.5 19:14, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Hut 8.5, please do not doubt the power of our lord, the one true God. If you doubt his power and authorisy and join the jewism/muslim/protestant conspirasy then you whill have to answer to the qusequences. --Sword of Christ 19:17, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Casey Calvert[edit]

Casey Calvert (born October 20, 1981) is the guitarist and backup singer for the pussycore band Hawthorne Heights, one of the suckiest, most annoying bands in the entire world. He is known for his hard to listen to screams, is a vegetarian, and is most likely homosexual, just like everyone else in the band. Calvert is known for having sexual intercourse with his gay bandmate, J.T. Woodruff. Hawthorne Heights should all go back to Ohio and cut their wrists and black their eyes like all emo freaks like them do.

Hawthorne Heights Members[edit]


Talk:Portuguese breakfast[edit]

See Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Portuguese breakfast. This text of this article is too icky to reproduce (oral sex + raw eggs), but the talk page contained the following gem. --Masamage 21:41, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

"DO NOT DELETE THIS!!!! It's a part of pop culture. If there isn't some place like this to see what this stuff means how am I going to know if my children have dirty mouths? This and all obcene sexual acts should be preserved on the internet for nessicary reference."

Meaty Carls[edit]

Is the act of defacating in many african american's afros and rubbing it in. non academic web site all the information can be fake on this web site and therefore is no good for students or even half witted people alike!


the shit that poops a lot


Hippleagus kick ass.
Hippleagus kick ass.
Conservation status
Scientific classification
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Unkown
Order: Unkown
Family: Unkown
Genus: Unkown
Species: A. Penis
Binomial name
A Penis
Linnaeus, 1758

The hippleagus is a giant turtle-like creature that dwells at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. It has only been seen 3 times in the history of the universe, and is said to have been created when Bill O'Reilly impregnated Godzilla. Rumor has it that the two met at gay bar owned by Cthulhu.

Chuck Norris[edit]

Chuck is the only man known to have defeated Jesus Crist in an intense battle of Pokemon.

From Chocolate Types[edit]

My Chocolate Assignment By (name removed) 6HO 2006

Chocolate is one of everyone’s favourite types of food. If you don’t like chocolate then you must be strange. Not everyone likes all types of chocolate but everyone at least likes one type of chocolate. It could be Toblerone to Cadbury to Lindt to Godiva to your mum’s homemade choccies. No matter which chocolates you like you know you like chocolate.

Stapler Juice[edit]

In the early 1400's, a time of cooking over flames, and hunting and gathering flourished throughout the land, a farmer in england discovered a drink, which very much might been the most important revolution to modern culture. This man, named Jedidiah Staplington was the first person to ever discover a stapler, he was a professional zebra hunter and spent his time training zebras to fight beavers and large chickens. He first encountered a wild stapler in the forests of northern Belgium, It was feasting on the delectable morsels which it expels, staples...At first he was taken aback at the rate it was devouring the little creatures of misfortune, but then noticed that it was also, black polished and ripe, it looked incredibly delectable.... He tackled the stapler to the ground, and thats history. Jedidiah roamed from england to new jersey, planting staplers to make luscious green stapler trees, which produced their prized fruit, the stapler, with its scrumptious nectar in the center, staples. In the end, as you and everyone else well knows, he was known as "Jedidiah staple seed".

Later, the famed stapler scientist Circlometry™³, Invented the delicious beverage, stapler juice, also known as 'stapluice' as the kids have dubbed it. it is known to cure many stapler related diseases, and also it may give superpowers.*- for more information about stapler juice, or staplers in general, refer to stapler scientist Circlometry™³.

um (From Talk:Abortion)[edit]

"There are many reasons for abortion. Most of these include one night stands or alien abductions. YES PEOPLE THERE ARE ALIENS!! one person that wishes that abortion was around roughly 14.8 years ago is Ashley Bolger-Heys mother," wtf? So whoever '' is, I'll be taking that little bit off. --20:54, 10 October 2006 (EST) (wtf is UTC? lol)

  • I take offense to this, as I am a native of the planet Neptune and we have the lowest incidence of rape in the whole galaxy.--10:34, 21 November 2006 (UTC)

Al Gore[edit]

This killed me when I first read it.

"In addition, a Gallup poll released in August 2006 showed that nearly half of Americans view Gore as a hillbilly who has 18 toes (48 percent to 45 percent)." --Tainter 22:19, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

From List of Kenan and Kel episodes[edit]

  • "A Hooker Called Gemma": Kel hires a hooker called Gemma for Kenan's sweet sixteen, and she reveals she has a penis.
  • "MI5 agents": After learning in a Spanish class that they could be secret agents, Gemma and Jodie became a part of MI5 by walking in to a freezer and eating leather.
  • "Birls Bop Being Billy": Jodie holds the 56th Annual Apron Fashion Show and serves Penis Cookie and Strawberry Pasta, but Gemma comes along and ruins it by being billy and making too much noise by being silent, and in the end, they both slip on the catwalk and spend hours explaining it to the bajority of the audience.

From ODIS[edit]

<!-- Merry Christmas, Evaunit511! -->

ODIS, or the Offensive "Dante's Inferno" Shotgun is a very powerful break open double-barreled shotgun developed by Abyss Industries. It is very well known[1] for being very ornate; it is made out of a titanium alloy and is gilded nicely. It isn't purely for show, though. Despite it's looks; it is very rugged.[2] It is more than capable of firing up to 5000 rounds with good care. It is also very capable of killing vampires with it's specially designed 12-gauge shells that launch silver flechettes (though it can use any other type of 12-gauge shell).

Picture of Jesus posing for the camera before going demon-hunting with the ODIS. Too bad the photo's black and white, otherwise you would be able to see the pwnage gilding.

The ODIS is currently sold in Constantinopole, Atlantis and Australia.[3]


[NOTE: All these links lead to a picture of a penis.]

From Soul Cube (helpful comment)[edit]

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From "The Magnum Opus of a Proud Dyslexic[edit]


The Magnum Opus of a Proud Dyslexic

About 10% of the North American population has some form of dyslexia; I happen to be one of them…I think it would’ve been easier dealing with ADD.

The reason why I'm writing this article is because I'm tired of people making fun of this disability. Back in the day when people cracked their little jokes about dyslexics, I would laugh along with the group; after all…I didn’t want my crew to know I was one of them!

After being put in that position, I think I know what it’s like being in the closet!

My biggest fear was getting caught in the stairwell by my school mates; not for blowing another guy, but for trying to read a book out loud!

Dyslexia is one type of learning disability that affects a person's ability to read. Being dyslexic didn't necessarily mean I couldn’t read; but reading a 350 page books wasn't something I took up as a regular hobby either.

A hobby is having a rock collection, or taking up photography; but for a dyslexic, reading is a god damn chore!

Improving my reading skills was such a slow process; when people in high school were reading “One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest” I was still trying to master “Clifford the Big Red Dog”!

Now I read pretty long as I'm alone. As long as I have some privacy, my reading is as good as a bad vocalist singing in the shower.

People would say to me, "When you lock yourself up in your bedroom like that, you almost sound like the president of a book club!"

Some dyslexics see words backwards; this was not always the case with me, but when I was a kid, I’d naturally viewed books from back to front.

Remembering my childhood years, I didn't see the first Star Wars movie when it came out, so I ended up reading the book. At the time I couldn’t understand why the book ended off with "A long time ago".

Till this very day I do have a problem with comprehension; comprehending what I just read is difficult depending on the subject matter.

All I can say is thank God for ‘Hustler’...I can just look at the pictures!

Do you know what it's like not being able to understand what you just read? I could read a ransom note, and I’ll still be confused!

“This guy wants what? Tell the kids its supper time!”

I've struggled with dyslexia when I was younger, and didn't even know I had it. No damage done; I knew people who were slow, and didn’t know they were retarded!

They’d hop on that special bus thinking they were riding in a big yellow limo.

I grew up in a West Indian household; in the West Indian community, there were no such thing as a disability or anything like that; if you're falling behind in school, there can't be an neurological explanation for it…you're just lazy!

You don’t get any special attention, no extra tutoring; they’d just try to beat the lazy out of you!

(To them it’s like beating dust out of an old rug.)

One of the reasons why I write today, is because when I was in the fourth grade, all of the students in my class had to write a short story; being considered to be one of the students who needed special attention, I came in third!

When the teacher called me up to receive my prize, one of the so-called smart kids almost had a heart attack; the good thing is he got to miss the rest of school.

How can a person who has a problem with reading and writing beat out most of his classmates?

Easy; it took creativity, imagination, and a passion for story telling…and it also helped that I had a crush on my Teacher! (Good grades were the last thing on my list…I was trying to impress her.)

Now when I think about it, the only reason why I'm a writer today is because I was always told I could never be one.

I didn't become a writer out of ambition; I’m a writer because I’m hard headed. Now I wish my Guidance counselor told me I could never become a Biologist.

The truth is I have more than just dyslexia; dyslexia only affects words and language; 'Dys' meaning 'difficulty' and 'lexia' meaning 'words'.

I also have dysgraphia which affects handwriting, and dyscalculia which responsible for poor mathematical skills; in my case these things are affected by the evil ‘dyslexia’. If I knew this before, I might have been able to stop my crazy West Indian Father from trying to beat the laziness out of me!

I have very limited verbal skills; proper grammar, and pronunciation is a bitch! I always had a problem pronouncing long words...even the shortest word was a sesquipedalian!

(Words like 'it' were a pain in the ass.)

Because of my problem with language, I learned to talk very late in life; my mom told me I didn't know how to fully talk till I was five!

Do you know what it’s like not being able to talk till the age of five? People would ask me my name, and I had to mumble it!

Even till this day I have a really hard time learning other languages. I don't know a single language other than English, and even that's a struggle!

I'm from Canada, a bilingual country; and I don't know a bit of French...but I took French emersion!

Whenever I’m in Quebec, and a Francophone says “Bonjour”, for some reason…I think it’s French for the N-word!

As I said earlier, having this disability affects my handwriting; people who’ve seen my writing calls it chicken scratch. But the truth is if you saw my writing, it's actually an insult to the chicken!

(Foghorn Leghorn from ‘Looney Toons’ would’ve been pissed.)

Spelling can also be affected by dyslexia. I always knew I wasn't stupid, because I have a very high IQ; according to my test scores, I’m a practically a ‘genius’...but I didn't know how to spell it!

Because of this disability, I always had a problem learning how to tell time; clocks and hand watches were the enemy. I do understand how it all works, but sometimes it takes awhile; even though I own a watch myself, I still ask people for the time…just for validation.

I had this problem all the way up to high school: because of this difficulty, I always wore a digital watch!

Digital watches came in handy; people would always ask me for the time. They would come up to me and say "Excuse me, could you tell me if it's quarter after three?”

I would look at my watch and say, "'s only three fifteen!"

Basic math was a bitch to learn especially multiplication. The easiest of all the time tables, were multiplying by one.

I’m not good with numbers at all; when I'm in a restaurant, sometimes I can’t even figure out the tip. Sometimes I prefer not to give the tip...I rather appear as an ass-hole, than a dumb-ass!

Dyslexia is pretty tough to deal with; because of it, I don't like driving. I drive all the time because I don’t have a choice; but most of the time, I will only drive alone. Now when I think of it, I should throw out those car-seats; my kids aren’t driving with me, especially my younger one.

The last thing I need is a three year old backseat driver…who can talk!

I hate driving: when I’m under pressure, I can’t differentiate between left and right, I can't parallel park, and I can't read maps!

Every time I look at a road map, to me it looks like varicose veins!

I’m terrible at taking directions; don’t ever give me directions verbally. I’m so bad at it - I'm probably the only brother in the world…who can get lost on my way to a booty call! (Even if she’s my next door neighbor, that girl would have to come to me - that’s not because of dyslexia; that’s from being lazy.)

I'm bad at directions; I don't know my north and south, my east or my west; as far as I know, that song "Jesus Walks" was performed by a Kanye ‘blank’!

Dyslexia can also affect hand-eye coordination; I believe this is the reason I’m so bad at video games.

Whenever I play that new 50 Cent game ‘Bulletproof’, 50 says “That nigga gon’ get me killed!”

I guess this is why I’m so terrible at sports; I’m so bad at it, my athletic skills are the equivalent of a white person dancing.

When I was a kid I loved playing soccer. Because I had a great love for this sport, I was able to become good enough to make the school team; but I was always the last one picked, and I barely got to participate.

When people asked me what position I played, I'd say 'bench warmer'!

When you're a bench warmer, you're pretty much a spectator; the only difference is…you get to wear the uniform.

The positive side to dyslexia is, it gives me a creative edge, and I perceive things differently than the average person.

Very early in age, people realized I was a wunderkind when it came to the arts. I was always highly gifted in music, poetry, and visual arts…if you want to include graffiti.

Then very much later, I found out I had good comedic timing; which led me to stand-up comedy, then branched off to a hosting career in Television.

Now when I think about it, if I had to live my life again, I wouldn’t change it for the world; I look at dyslexia as a gift. If it wasn't for my condition, I probably wouldn't be able to view life the way I do.

In closing, I hope I gave some insight on this subject. You may not view this article to be a Masterpiece, but as a dyslexic, I am proud of all my accomplishments.

This specific article may not be my magnum opus, but if you're dyslexic, I hope you find this to be my… OPUS MAGNUM!

From Saturn[edit]

"Saturn is also known for having poop almost everywhere on the surface. This should not be confused with Uranus."

The amazing pact[edit]

The amazing pact refers to a pact between two Hollywood directors, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, and states that each is to do their best to never make a bad film. Spielberg finally ended up breaking this pact by making the 2001 Science-Fiction Film Artificial Intelligence: A.I., which, despite the hype, turned out to be quite lousy. The pact was set in place so that neither director's reputation would be compromised due to a relationship with the other if they had made a bad film. In the January, 2002 issue of Time Magazine, an article entitled "A Broken Pact" reported that Mr. Lucas had considered, but decided against, ending his friendship with Mr. Spielberg over breaking the pact. They ended up reinstating the pact in late February, but only if, according to Mr. Lucas, "Steven is really serious about never making a bad movie again." Mr. Lucas also stated that, "If Steven ever makes such a horrible film again, I will see to it that we never have any relationship even slighty resembling a friendship." So far Mr. Spielberg has not made any bad movies, but rumors of a new Indiana Jones Movie may end the five-year-good-movie streak that he has earned. As for Mr. Lucas, most think that the world can expect that he will die of a freak welding accident while working on a remake of the 1983 clasic War Games.

Joe Booty[edit]

Joe booty

Born 3/10/1976 grew up in the small south western town of paddypadpadshiresville and was quickly known around the town for settling small disputes amongst his neighbours generally by making them play cluedo against each other

"When making people play cluedo always keep colonel mustard to yourself if someone is religious do not give them the satisfaction of being the reverend Green for this is bad if they epitimise the macho man make them play as Mrs. peacock this will aggrovate them and force them to show there angers and deepest fears from then on they are eating from your hand"

With this sort of attitude its small wonder joe then became a un peacekeeper and with his specalist cluedo game featuring all new rooms such as: Jungle terrorist hideaway refugee camp guantanemo bay internet cafe

This special edition cluedo board was also made out of embossed stainless steel and featured props that were full size and some working the revolver is such an example

On his way back from Ouagadougo Joe was jumped by three terrorists thenkfully he used the revolver to scare a gibbon which landed on one of the terrorists face the second man he knocked unconcious with a lead pipe and the third man he whipped with the rope.

Joe then managed to find his way out of the jungle using his candlestick since then joe has had the cluedo sign tattooed on his arm.

Grapefruit (Raffi's definition)[edit]

Similar to convergent evolution, two people, living in Greece and Florida (let us call them "Mikos" (a Greek name) and "Watahata" (an American Indian name) to avoid confusion), were living around the same time period. Mikos discovered the grape, and named it "the grape", while Watahata discovered the grapefruit, and named it "the grape" also. Centuries later, when the European and Native American civilizations came in contact, they were faced with a problem: they now had two completely different fruits, both with the same name. According to the rules of language and society, this could not be. They had to settle this crucial matter. They played rocks-paper-scissors (or rather, a brutal game involving two people, each with a javelin lit on fire, who tried to throw the javelin at each other from a distance of no less than 222 yards), and whoever lost (European or Native Americans) would have to rename their native fruit. The Native American contestant lost (naturally... he wasn't European!), but his chief loved the name "grape" so much, that he did not want to concede it to some foreign fruit. The European captain reminded him that he lost, and so they agreed that they would keep the name "grape", but that the meaningless and pointless word "fruit" would be added to the end of the name of the Indians' "grape" (it was, obviously, a fruit, so adding the word "fruit" would have a completely neutral effect that would do nothing but help distinguish between the two fruits). Now, even more centuries later, we can enjoy the rich taste of the Greek grape, or the tart taste of the American Indian Florida grapefruit, without being confused between the two, thanks to the brave souls Mikos, Watahata, the European and Indian contestants, the Indian chief, and the European captain. The question still remains, though, as to how two completely different people, in completely different societies, would both think of the word "grape" for their beloved fruits. The chances of those random letters being selected by two people independently are certainly less than one in a bazillion. How this happened is a mystery we may never know... might prove that there does, indeed, exist a God (or at least Jesus) who gave Mikos and Watahata the divine inspiration to think of the word "grape".

From George W. Bush[edit]

"Ass and Stupidity redirect here. For other uses see, Ass and Stupidity

From Heisenberg compensator[edit]

It might be argued that one can have either the working device or the explanation for how the device works, but not both to a high level of precision.

From Larry King[edit]

Is not pleasing on the eye in person. It is often questioned whether he would even have a date much less a pretty young wife if he was not a multi-millionaire.

birthday presents[edit]

Bill gates to his kids: ok microsoft lost 3 points this week so i can only buy u 2 middle eastern countries for u birthday. Bill Gates's kid: awwwwww but i wanted Pakistan, Afghanistan AND kakistan



Christmasism is a practice that encourages the worship of Christmas year-round and is a cult with celebrities and the general public.

What the practice states:

  • You can ONLY worship Christmas.
  • You must have Christmas dinner as often as possible.
  • Christmas games must be played on a frequent basis.

History of the practice[edit]

The practice was founded in 1994 by Simon Harwood and Craig Dawes in Stockton-on-Tees. It has since become a cult religion, with over 200,000 members in the UK and the USA. Canada has 158,625 members.

Their fathers, Jonathan Harwood and Neil Dawes founded another -ism religion: Briefsism.

Briefsism, Christmasism and Obesityism all originate in the North East.

Jonathan Harwood and Neil Dawes, and their sons Simon Harwood and Craig Dawes, invented these -isms as a parody religion proving that people will worship anything, from briefs to Santa Claus.

Their religion, Briefsism has over 300,000 + followers worldwide.

from Trojan Horse[edit]

The Trojan Horse is part of the myth of the Trojan War, as told in Virgil's Latin epic poem The Aeneid. The events of this myth take place after Homer's Iliad, and before both Homer's The Odyssey and Virgil's The Aeneid. The famous horse is considered as one of the biggest hollow victorys of all time.Template:Dubious the attack was led by Ajax, Arkantos and Odysseus.




Most wanted list[edit]

Wanted Image Name Date Added Number on List
1 Donald Eugene Webb Donald Eugene Webb May 4, 1981 #375
Donald Eugene Webb is wanted in connection with the murder on December 4, 1980, of a police officer in Saxonburg, Pennsylvania who was shot twice at close range after being brutally beaten about the head and face with a blunt instrument. On the list since 1981, no person has been on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list longer in its history.[1]
2 Hannibal Lecter Hannibal Lecter February 14, 1991 #386
Hannibal Lecter is wanted for the murders of 9 people. He escaped from his holding prison cell in Memphis in February of 1991, and was rumoured to be in Florence. He briefly returned to the United States, where it is believed he murdered Mason Verger, one of his previous victims, before running off with FBI agent Clarice Starling.[2]
3 Glen Stewart Godwin Glen Stewart Godwin December 7, 1996 #447
Glen Stewart Godwin is being sought for his 1987 escape from Folsom State Prison in California, where he was serving a lengthy sentence for murder. He was subsequently imprisoned in Mexico on drug trafficking charges, but escaped from prison there as well.[3]
4 Borat Borat[4] June 7, 1999 #456
Borat[4] is the leader of Al-i G, and is wanted in connection with the August 7, 1998, bombings of the United States embassies in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, and Nairobi, Kenya. These attacks killed over 200 people. Borat and Al-i G are also responsible for the October 12, 2000, attack on the USS Cole off the coast of Yemen, which killed 17. Although Borat also later appeared on the first publicly released FBI Most Wanted Terrorists list on October 10, 2001, he was listed there for the 1998 embassy attack, and not for his alleged role in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks that killed nearly 3,000, because the most wanted lists name fugitives charged with a crime by a prosecutor or under indictment by a grand jury. Borat was named as an unindicted co-conspirator in, for instance, the federal indictment against convicted terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, but has not been formally indicted for his role in the September 11, 2001 attacks.

Borat is the subject of a $25 million reward through the State Department's Rewards for Justice program targeting international fugitives, especially terrorists, plus $2 million through a program developed and funded by the Air Line Pilots Association and the Air Transport Association.[5][6][4]

5 A Nasty Uncircumcized Penis A Nasty Uncircumcized Penis August 19, 1999 #458
A Nasty Uncircumcized Penis is wanted for his role in numerous murders (18 counts) committed from the early 1970s through the mid-1980s in connection with his leadership of an organized crime group that allegedly controlled extortion, drug deals, and other illegal activities in the Boston, Massachusetts, area. He has a violent temper and is known to carry a knife at all times. He was once the boss of Boston's Irish mob before he went into hiding.[7]
6 Richard Steve Goldberg Richard Steve Goldberg June 14, 2002 #474
Richard Steve Goldberg is wanted for looking like the pilot in the movie Con Air.[8]
7 Robert William Fisher Robert William Fisher June 29, 2002 #475
Robert William Fisher is wanted for allegedly killing his wife and two young children and then blowing up the house they all lived in Scottsdale, Arizona in April of 2001. Crenshaw Mafia, niggz! Dis is Furious. PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!![9]
8 Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez May 6, 2004 #478
Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez is being sought in connection with the manufacture and distribution of multiple tons of cocaine, knowing or intending that it will be imported into the United States. [10] Montoya is reputedly one of the principal leaders of the Colombian North Valley Drug Cartel. The North Valley Cartel is believed to be the most powerful and violent drug trafficking organization in Colombia. The cartel reportedly relies heavily for protection on illegal armed groups, taking help from right-wing paramilitaries as well as leftist rebels.[11]
9 Jorge Alberto Lopez-Orozco Jorge Alberto Lopez-Orozco March 17, 2005 #480
Jorge Alberto Lopez-Orozco is wanted in connection with the murders of a woman and her two young children, ages 2 and 4, in Elmore County, Idaho. [12] The victims' charred remains were found on August 11, 2002, inside a burned-out vehicle. He may be travelling with his brother, Simon Lopez-Orozco, and Simon's wife, both of whom have been charged as accessories in the crime. Reward of up to $100,000. He's a fucking beaner.[13]
10 Jimbo Wales Jimbo Wales September 30, 2006 #484
CAPTURED Jimbo Wales was wanted for escaping from jail on July 29, 2006. At the time of his escape, he was awaiting trial for the murder of a Chillicothe, police officer in 2005 during a pursuit on auto theft charges. Wales was captured on October 19, 2006 outside of Chillicothe. [14]

Lauren Kalinowski[edit]

This was really sweet. Yeah, WP is totally the wrong place for it, but still. BJAODN could use something *nice* from time to time..

Lauren Kalinowski is currently 18 years old, attending University in Canada. She is the daughter of Russ and Barb Kalinowski, and she has a younger sister named Jillian. Her favourite colors are purple and red, and she loves watermelons! She is beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and stupefying.

A poem is titled with her name:

Lauren Kalinowski

When I say, "I love you"
I don't mean your hair-do
instead there's something more
that here, I'll try to explore:

Despite the fact that you're beautiful
You're not pretentious or scornful
more important than this
is that when we kiss
your mind fits my soul
and my emotions get out of control.

I care about you
enough to unglue, and unscrew
the nuts, bolts, bits and pieces
that keep the world free of creases
just to show that there are things
that really do have heart-strings.

That is what I mean and feel...
I assure you, this is real
when I say, "I love you"

Lauren Kalinowski is a truly amazing and wonderful girl. I want her to know that she is loved, and loved a lot.


Quinn's Symphonic Conundrum[edit]

Quinn's Symphonic Conundrum is a conceptual prank invented by Quinn Norton. It is the idea of writing and executing a computer program that would output all possible melodies, and then copyrighting the resulting score. Any music made afterwards would, depending on licensing terms, therefore be a copyright violation. One possibility is that the completed work would be licensed under a non-commercial license, thereby providing that people could make music, but never again be able to sell it.

Brilliant scam. As soon as my infinite monkeys finish with the Shakespeare project, I'm setting them up with musical instruments.

From American Revolution.[edit]

Troops fought valiantly with their Bell AH-1 Cobra gunships.

From Britney Spears[edit]

On September 12, 2006, Spears sadly gave birth to their second son, Jayden James Federline who sadly will live an unfortuante depressing emabrssing life.

A paean to the Fiji Mermaid, from 2006 Fijian coup d'état[edit]

President Ratu Josefa Iloilo signed an order dissolving Parliament on December 5, and, yeah, this situation IS this ugly

From The Shaggy Dog[edit]

This is without a doubt the masterpiece of Tim Allen's vast repertoire. As you know, Tim Allen did all of the morphing himself and no special effects were used.

From "Short Bus"[edit]

From the article on Short Bus:

KMB-ATR-WanChaiPier.jpgThis bus-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.

From History of perpetual motion machines[edit]

Perpetual motion machines are sometimes called free energy machines, though the term energy in that circumstance is being used in a sense outside of the scientific definition. In that "non-scientific" use of the term energy it may be assumed (by the free energy builders) that the total amount of energy, all in all, is 1/0 (theoretically this amount is a slightly more than infinite quantity, that is both positive and negative, and hence just the opposite of zero (zero being a quantity that is neither positive nor negative)). Such an amazing source and amount of energy could account for why the universe is expanding at such an accelerating rate (the quandary often referred to as dark energy). You would have to be "non-scientific" and thus untillegent to believe this theory however, because mathematicians have known for centuries that 1/0 is undefined (although, they don't exactly know what undefined is, they know that they don't like it.) On the other hand, proponents claim that the definition of 1/0 is "everything," just as the definition of 0/1 is "nothing," and that understanding this simple symmetry of definition is a cornerstone to the realization of the much ballyhooed "theory of everything," the much anticipated "holy grail" in mankind's ultimate quest for true understanding and enlightenment. This would seem likely, since 1/0 is one enigma of mathematics that has received little serious consideration and which could change the whole scientific paradigm on it's head and bring into question such long-standing "castles" as the laws of thermodynamics. Of course, this is also the reason why it may be unlikely. The laws of thermodynamics imply a closed system, while a system whose total amount of energy is 1/0 is definitely not a closed system, and this open-source possibility is theoretically possible, although hard to fathom! A lot of it depends on what one believes. It seems we should hope for the best case scenario, like our lives depended on it, considering the current global energy/environmental crisis which we are in the middle of. Nonetheless, caution should be warrented when there is a possibility for believing in things which are "too good to be true" (although, come to think of it, some things are just good enough to be true). THat having been said, all the devices in this historical listing must be evaluated on a standing basis. Keep in mind when evaluating these claims and devices, open-mindedness is crucial to understanding the great questions which modern science faces, and this includes a healthy balance of "skepticism" and optimism for the future posterity.

`'mikkanarxi 22:48, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

from Avatar: The Last Airbender[edit]

1.1 Premise

Its about Japanese turtles that fight off evil weasel from the sewege system. The turtles are part of a secret force which makes flour into cupcakes.

From Wikipedia:Introduction[edit]

Wikipedia's Freshman Year in High School[edit]

When Wikipedia first came to high school, he didn't know that many people. He had quite the problem with acne at the time, and began undergoing isotretinoin treatment for it. Not many girls talked to him, as he lacked articles on girly things at the time and most girls simply didn't find him interesting. Wikipedia could best be described as "slightly awkward" in his freshman year. He kept on with his studies and earned high marks for his rapidly expanding article base.

Sophomore Year[edit]

During the next year, Wikipedia finally found its voice. It got even more articles, and a lot of people at school started copying him, albeit in foreign languages. Due to his dermatologist his acne was pretty much gone, and suddenly girls interest in him perked up. It would only be a few weeks before he would be crowned Homecoming King in an upset. Brad Biggs, quarterback of the football team, said the voting was unfair, stating: "Anyone could have edited those ballots!" His protestations were in the minority, and Wikipedia became the new "It" person at school. It was reported that Wikipedia got to 3rd base in the back of his car that November, and he started smoking clove cigarettes under the bleachers every Thursday. Wikipedia had come a long way from his awkward beginnings.

Junior Year[edit]

Wikipedia was pretty much king of the castle at this point. He had well over 100,000 articles, had a new hot girlfriend every month, and he souped up his car to push it over 400 horse, in addition to some nice rims. Brad often bought him coffee in the morning. Things turned a bit sour when he was up for suspension for having a distillation flask in his locker which school administrators mistook for a crack pipe. He explained that he was only using it to get his Aldol reaction article to featured status. The school sentenced him to 3 days of detention for Original Research.

Senior Year[edit]

Wikipedia knew that if he wanted to get into a good college and get above one million articles, he needed some money to help pay for tuition. Unfortunately, Jimbo was being particularly miserly that year and told Wikipedia that he would have to find his own money. Wikipedia has always been known as The Free Encyclopedia and he briefly considered charging for his popularity. Google was his number one bud, many searches directing right to Wikipedia's articles. However, Wikipedia didn't want to charge for its articles or put advertising on itself, as the ladies would probably like him better if he wasn't a "sell-out." Wikipedia's steady girlfriend during senior year was the journal Nature. She wrote several peer-reviewed papers favorable to Wikipedia. Wikipedia eventually started doing car-washes where Nature would get in a bikini and wash your car by hand in the parking lot of a gas station. The car wash wasn't very popular, and he only made about $12.56. Unfortunately, Wikipedia had to sell his wicked car. He then wrote a short one act play entitled "Neutral Point of View" for 6 performers. It was about a prolonged edit war on the article for Pie. The play was a smash hit and the proceeds allowed Wikipedia to go to college. He graduated at the top of his class.

Chris frederickson's word of the day[edit]

This is a compiled list of the words uttered by Chris Frederickson during the elapsed time of an Asian Studie's Class

Mon. Dec. 4th - Advantageous Tues. Dec 5th - Caucaus Wed. Dec 6th - Frederickson

From Eva Perón[edit]

In the section on Disapparance and return of corpse

one day later her body was found walking the streets of Disney land and also riding space mountain. School teachers say she was eating wings at a compotation, and never seen again.

From Tufted titmouse[edit]

Reverted by the vandal, but worth keeping here

The tufted titmouse has a fear of giant clams in the deep blue ocean and is highly allergic to blue cheese from Turkey. They like to live in small, comfy condos with a hot tub and shower.


Pregnant Fish


Christ, CHRIST, or C.H.R.I.S.T., is a seminal(stop sniggering and look it up, jackass) non-organization devoted to the enlightenment and betterment of humankind through liberated thinking and obscure graffiti. C.H.R.I.S.T., which stands for Concerned Humans Resisting Institutionalized Spiritual Tyranny, is the brainchild(snigger away) of myself, DrunkBitchFriday. Our goals are simple: to break organized religion's stranglehold upon the spirituality of all peoples of Earth, that they may find themselves stripped of their theological security blanket and have to face the totality of the cosmos on their own terms, and to scrawl 'C.H.R.I.S.T.' on bathroom walls, highway overpasses, etc. WE DO NOT RECRUIT. Those who are called, are chosen.


Fatfatism (in Arabic, الفتفتية) refers to the parodic ideology tied to the person of the Minister of the Interior in Lebanon, Ahmad Fatfat. This ideology, which has come to refer to a certain "Moderate" breed of political behavior in the Middle East, can be explained, according to Dr. As'ad Abu Khalil, the intellectual who coined the term, as such:

File:Soldiers and Tea.jpg
Soldiers serving under Fatfatism by Leba-none Template:Citation/core

" requires no commitment to principles; it merely adjusts to the interests of the political status of Ahmad Fatfat. The ideology contains contradictions: it speaks of democracy and 'liberalism' and yet cultivates support among Bin Laden supporters in North Lebanon and serves as a client for Saudi Wahhabism; it speaks in favor of 'sovereignty' and 'independence' while it faithfully represented the interests of the tyrannical Syrian regime, and now represents the external patrons of Sanyurah. The ideology of Fatfatism believes that the most effective way for fighting foreign occupation is serving tea to the occupation soldiers. While it is widely believed that Fatfatism is a Lebanese phenomenon, it is now noticed that Fatfatism is spreading in countries in the Middle East and well beyond the Middle East."

The December protests in Beirut, Lebanon in 2006 included chants which echoed a popular understanding of Fatfatism. The chant went, according to primary sources: "احمد فتفت يا قبضاي قبضاي واحد قهوة واثنان شاي" (Ahmad Fatfat, you tough guy; one coffee and two tea). This reaction to Fatfatism can be understood in the wider framework of discontent in the Middle East with politicians like Hosni Mubarak, Abu Mazen, Iyad Allawi, and Fouad Saniorah who are perceived by the general Arab public to be no more than tools of Western imperial powers.

Objection: The article is politically-biased

Objection on the Objection: This article is not politically biased. A term was invented and a definition was tagged to it. Mr. Abu Khalil has copyright over the term and definition

I guess it's not really a BJAODN. Oh well. — Rickyrab | Talk 21:15, 9 December 2006 (UTC)


Template:Cite news


OBJECTION: Mr. Abu Khalil is a Syrian nationalist supporter, a Hizbollah militia supporter, and a political writer who has a tremendous personal hatred towards the Hariri family and its supporting Al-Moustaqbal movement. Mr. Abu Khalil continuously criticizes these moderate muslims and accuses them of supporting Bin Laden and Israel. Strangely the Hariri family and the Al-Moutaqbal movment are considered to be the most moderate muslims in the world, nevertheless, they have also on many occasions worked hard to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict.

From Mombobo[edit]


The seven legged god of all land bordering the sea, whos job it is to hold the peace between his brothers Neythos and Euroth. The time will come when Mombobo will need all people to band together to defeat Neythos and his evil minions, once and for all.

The Tale of Mombobo[edit]

At the beginning, there was one. Later, there were more. After some time, the water, being bored, created a being, who was named Neythos and who was as tempermental and strong as the sea. He was in charge of defending the ocean. The land, in response, made another being named Euroth and who was given the task of guarding his creator. After years of strife , the water and the earth made a pact and created another guardian, Mombobo. Mombobo was given the stretch of land between the water and the and sea, where neither ruled. For years there was peace. Until, one day Neythos raised one of his cities from the depths to the surface, and created an island. Now, as the deal was, islands were under the control of Mombobo, just like beaches. Neythos refused to surrender his city, so Mombobo had to take it by force. Neythos gathered an army, and stuck back. For years, the city of Atlantis was fought for without anyone controlling it for longer than a few days. In a final epic battle, Mombobo and Neythos faced off on the beaches and in the depths, until Mombobo caught ahold of Neythos' neck in one claw, and his arm in the other. After some time, Neythos stopped struggling and Mombobo let go. The fallen god fell into the depths, and Mombobo began to surface. Neythos, who having faked his own death, fell on Mombobo with the fury of the sea. The evil god grabbed Mombobo, and dragged him downwords to where Neythos would have the upper hand. Mombobo ripped off his own leg to stop his decent, and to get back to the beach. Neythos, all of his plans foiled, retreated to the depths. Sadly, Atlantis was completely decimated by the endless war, and Neythos pulled it back down. Mombobo now has limited control over the seas, and complete control over beaches, and all small islands. Until Neythos tries again to regain his territory.

The Eight Commandments[edit]

1) Dont suck, or else.

2) Dont break his Commandments, or else.

3) Dont throw stuff at stuff, or else.

4) Never forget Mombobo is allmighty, or else.

5) Never abandon Mombobo in his time of need, or else.

6) Dont forget the ten hour Celebration of Creation, or else.

7) Never surrender, or else.

8) Or else, else.

Q-Bus bus?[edit]

In the article about Q-Bus, an old DEC computer peripheral and memory bus:


From Acquiantance[edit]

{{db|redundant article with typo'ed name; user was probably looking for [[wikipedia:acquaintance]]}}

With regards to people[edit]

Two people becoming acquainted

An acquiantance is a person whom one has met and perhaps conversed with to some extent but with whom one is not quite familiar enough to call a friend.

See also[edit]


Surreal redirect[edit]

This is an old one, but back in July someone redirected the Ami Mizuno (Sailor Mercury) article to Tom Metzger. It was fairly startling to come upon unawares, let me tell you. XD --Masamage 23:30, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Marrickville S.C.[edit]

hi i would like to know if you are still registering soccer for under 14 year olds around the marrickville area please? ÷

Sir John Fowler Esquire[edit]


Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII was bornith in Staten Island, New York, New York in the yearith of 1992. He is the majorith influence on the black community at CBA. He is the co-master of rap battling with Sir David Raja Bobby Frank Jonathan Timothy Taquisha "Smurf" Collucio. The Man Law makes this validith for that factith that we are too good for you all. It is rumored that Sir Fowler has taken over 37 kingdoms, including the kingdoms of Spain, France, and Asia. However, in these kingdoms, there were only women with big boobs. Strange? I believe not. This lead to the usageith of the word "Pimp" for Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII was the very firstith of all of these pimps.


Aside from the first Pimp and conquering 37 countries, there were many other achievements in his career. Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII was the very first King of the country of Homosarehomos. He had maintain the best record for Rap Battles at his school with a record of 283739461740135681234193461823946128439612389461293481624785118930423164398710 wins to 0 loses. This was quite an accomplishment. No one could spit a rhyme like Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII can, fo shizzle dizzle to the nizzle. He works part time as a Pimp and the other hours of his day he likes to Pimp Womenith for fun. He will get more womenith than any guy in the world will ever get. His Penis is the biggestith of them all. He will wipe it out and it will be bigger than Mr. Jordan Rizzo himself. He single-handely did 20 women at one time with his eight penises. This is a world record that has still yet to be broken from this very day.


This landith resides in the lands of what used to be New Jersey. His castle resides in the landith of Old Bridge. His Kingdom spreads from the townith of Edison to the townith of Long Beach Island. It spreads from the East cost alway to the Delaware River. All that remain under his ruleith, which is everyone, must obey thou rules of Homosarehomos. Most of the guys are indeed not homos. They are all straight and try to out do the works of Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII. None of them realize yet that they will never be able to match up to Sir John Robert Joseph Nicholas Peter Roberto Juanita "Papa" Fowler, Esquire LLLXXXVIII. Back to the land, there are 27 rivers, 1 main mountain chain, 46 other miny mountain chains, and 78 major forests. The main languageith is of the Medieval English.

The New Religion

During his reign, he had converted everyone into the religion of Faggocyclity, hailing the Father of the gods and god of the rap battles, MC Hammer. The mother of the gods is Beyonce, goddess of beauty and black people. There are many other gods and goddesses, too many to list all at onceith. We go to the Reshiba, or in other words the Faggocycic church where we praise all of the gods, goddesses, and porn stars. This occurence is usually once a weekith between 1P.M. until 4P.M. As you can see, we are really seriousith with our religion.

His Whereabouts Todayith

It is quite unsure of his whereabouts as of Todayith. He has gone into hiding for the factith that he is one of the most hatedith kings in all of the world. Most of the kings around the world despiseith him because he has gotten more women than anyone in a world. It is said that he resides in the "hood of all hoods." This indeed is the townith of Old Bridge. No one dares enter Old Bridge unless they liveth in that land already. It is said to be one of the most dangerous townsith in all of the land of Homosarehomos.

From Talk:Stereophonic Musical Listenings That Have Been Origin in Moving Film "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"[edit]

It has been proposed below that Stereophonic Musical Listenings That Have Been Origin in Moving Film "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" be renamed and moved to something sane.

The proposed move should have been noted at Wikipedia:Requested moves.
Discussion to support or oppose the move should be on this talk page, usually under the heading "Requested move." If, after a few days, a clear consensus for the page move is reached, please move the article and remove this notice, or request further assistance.

Maintenance Use Only: {{subst:WP:RM|Imagine a world in which every single person is given free access to bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.|something sane|}}

From Luke moryl[edit]

Luke Moryl was discovered in a remote area of Hinsdale circa 1990. He recently was granted official genius status by the North American Association of Genius Related Topics in Mathematics Among Other Topics of NAAGRTMAOT.

Early Mathematical Discoveries[edit]

When Luke was found he uttered a strange series of gamma function equations. A trail of black body radiation followed his oration. A large van, marked with a MacArthur Genius Grant logo on the side arrived soon thereafter. Eye-witnesses differ on what occurred next, some suggesting that the MacArthur Foundation members provoked Luke by trying to convince him to speak his name backwards and send him back to the fifth dimension, while others state that Luke simply lashed out unprovoked. In either case, most people were destroyed and a surrounding area with a radius of 134 miles smelled strongly of goat cheese for two weeks afterwards. The strangest of stories about this particular case was one in which a witness claimed the entire ninety minutes of the occurrence all he experienced was a mild tingling sensation in his toes and a suspicious desire to buy shoes which only subsided after he started playing a vicious air guitar to the Jimi Hendrix tunes roaring through his head.

The Latter Days[edit]

Luke saw his fame quickly subside with the invention of the microwavable TV dinner. As a result of Stouffer's incredible success Luke lost his urge to mutter mathematical equations as loudly as before, rarely breaking 130 decibels in his later years. He turned to a plethora of drugs and forest animals to keep him company and married a deer tick. After it died he tried to commit suicide by drinking as many cups of decaffeinated coffee as he could handle, but to no avail. On June 2, 1977 he staged a comeback special with Bing Crosby which was notable only for Luke's general tendency to speak only using words starting with the letters Q and R, most notably the one that would become the hook in 1982's hit song Mickey, "Revising ridiculous qualms regarding Quaaludes ramified quintessential remarks."

From Boiling point[edit]

That's not true. I know the real story. It was a Wednesday. I was somewhere. Then it hit me. A baseball. It hurt. Egg. Bob Saggot.

A baseball Ben? Why a baseball... and what inspired Bob Saggot?

(Also on the same page...)

Boiling with Elements[edit]

Earth, wind, water, and fire all behave differently when you try to boil them.

Yet Another Dumb AfD[edit]

The world of the shining prince[edit]


Found while clearing out CAT:CSD. Deletion reason was -- This is a book review, not an encyclopedic article.. This is not a valid speedy deletion reason. Therefore I nominated this to afd. Opinions on what to do with this? No Stance —— Eagle (ask me for help) 04:40, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

From Stormtrooper effect[edit]

The Inverse Ninja Law[edit]

The Inverse Ninja Law is a similar phenomenon that occurs frequently in martial arts movies, and role playing games. It is also sometimes called the Anime Ninja Effect, the Rule of One, or less frequently the Inverse Ninja Effectiveness Principle.

The Inverse Ninja Law states that the effectiveness of a group of vilains is inversely proportional to the number of ninja in the group. While a single enemy is often portrayed as a significant threat to the protagonists, a large group of enemies are significantly less of a threat, and as such are easily defeated.

Some shows tend to explicitly illustrate the Inverse Ninja Law. Often the heroes' first battle is against a small group or even a single member of the villains' basic foot soldiers, who will often give the entire group problems, often to the point that they have to use their signature finishing move to defeat them. In most of their subsequent appearances, however, the heroes will usually easily defeat a large group of the enemy, who are typically all wearing the same outfit. Sometimes this is inexplicable; other times, however, the heroes receive a power-up, or simply find the opponent's Achilles' heel. A noteworthy example is Power Rangers, which played out that scenario for nearly every revamp of the series.

The film "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" shows both effects of this law: multiple times in the film, the turtles defeat dozens of FooT Ninja, but are at the end of the film, defeated by the lone Shredder even when they assault him together. As well, one Foot Ninja is able to track the turtles to their lair and spy on them undetected, despite the ninjitsu skills of the turtles and their master, proving this lone ninja was more effective on his own than in a group.

The Proportional Pirate Law[edit]

The Proportional Pirate Law states that the effectiveness of a group of pirates is proportional to the number of pirates in the group. While a single enemy pirate is often portrayed as a significant threat to the protagonists, a large group of pirates are significantly more of a threat, and as such can be defeated only with extreme difficulty. This is almost exclusively a pirate trait and is rarely applicable to other close combat–oriented foes.

History of the Proportional Pirate Law[edit]

The Proportional Pirate Law was created as a direct affront to the Inverse Ninja Law. In the perpetual battle between prates and ninjas, pirates have claimed a point of superiority in that they do not fall prey to the inverse ninja law. Five pirates will simply kill a group of people five times faster than a single pirate.

As a rebuttal to this point, Ninjas have claimed that having an inverse ninja law by nature makes them cooler, so whatever points are lost in the actual law is made up for in coolness points for having the law. "At least ninja have a law named after us, you don't see a 'Proportional Pirate Law.'"

This statement was untrue, the proportional pirate law has always existed, but never been written down (e.g., gravity existed before it's laws were ever written down). The Ninja's call must be heeded, however, to maintain superiority to ninjas, and was written down for that express reason.

Better facts[edit]

I have to admit I did find this vandal's edit summary amusing.


Collected from Localhost:

  • "There's no place like"
  • " Nice FTP site, but I already have that stuff."
  • ", sweet," (as in "Home, sweet home").

P.S. For non-geek users, is the address used to identify your own computer as the computer on the receiving end. See the article for more info.


Previous Page. Next Page