# I WILL SUE YOU IN A COURT OF LAW IN TRENTON, NEW JERSEY -- and Other Bad Jokes and Deleted Nonsense

This chapter is named after one of Wikipedia vandal Mr. Treason's more outrageous legal threat declarations, in which he would declare his intent to prosecute those who reverted his vandalism for violating his constitutional right to free speech.

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

## From George Bush

Blair; How do you know Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? Bush; We kept the receipts

You should credit Bill Hicks for originating that joke. You can hear it on the Album 'Arizona Bay'

## From Talk:Biggles

Where the hell was Biggles when I needed him last Saturday? Taco Deposit | Talk-o Deposit 02:02, Nov 10, 2004 (UTC)

Isn't that a line from some song by Jethro Tull? Burschik 12:16, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

## From Culiacán

Zebra crossings are only cosmetic, but crossing lights are to be taken seriously. There are police women ( very good looking ones )who will admonish you the first time, and give you a ticket if you are a known offender, if you cross the street when the red "Do not walk" sign is on.

## From FUCKOFFYOUUCKINGCUNTINGCOUPLES.THEREISNOTROOMINAISLE6 OFTESCOFORYOUTOEATEACHOTHERSINNARDSOUT.THEREISNOTROOMINMYLIFETOHAVEYOURSNOGGINGSHOVEDINMYFACEALLDAYEVERYDAY.JUSTUCKOFF.

Name says it all really, I'm guessing someone had a bad Valentine's Day. Lisiate 01:21, 16 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## From Feminism

Feminism is the movement of women. Sometimes they move to the right, and sometimes they move to the left. Sometimes they move up and down, and sometimes they vibrate. Yes, feminism is really a plethora of movements all shoved into one....

## From Cepheus

Who's there? Cepheus elf. (see for yourself). Get it?

## From shoplifting

Other shoplifters steal on moral grounds, ie only from stores that have bad reputations for treating workers unfairly, questionable overseas labour practices, or big multinational corporations (Wal-Mart, etc.) that harm local community businesses. These people will often use the money they save from shoplifting in the big stores to support local businesses which cannot compete price-wise with multi-million dollar big-box chain stores.

## From Napoleon Dynamite

For all of you grammar whores out there...

Napoleon's "moon boots" by the end of the movie were falling apart and were being held together by duct tape. Actor Jon Heder said they started smelling real bad as well.

POOP

--Thorns Among Our Leaves 03:05, 17 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## From the TfD for Template:Stub-sorting-stub ☺

This template is a joke. You can help Wikipedia by deleting it. BlankVerse 08:19, 10 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## From La La

Following its release as a single in the U.K. on January 24, 2005, "La La" debuted at number 11 before falling to number 20 and then to number 28 after which it fell to number 29 and continued to fall to number 34 when it briefly rebounded to nuber 32 and countined to rebound to number 30 until it fell to number 43 and then to number 50 not before it rose again to number 43 when it fell to number 59 and fell further to 69 before ultimately dropping to 80.

## From Talk: Emoticon

It wasn't deleted, but it was still pretty funny... I guess.  :P

I was very sad when someone removed the ( | ) emoticon ("mooning"). I think it's legitimate; I added it to the article but I didn't make it up. I thought it an example of an alternate part of the human anatomy used as an emoticon... or did that just open the door for all kinds of anatomical emoticons we just don't want to get into? Fishal 20:30, 19 Oct 2004 (UTC)

I'm sorry—it struck me as rather obscure. The goal here is to list really, really common emoticons, as well as representatives of some of the creativity that is possible. The lists were already too long, and as far as I am concerned, they are still too long. I only left the <>< one in place because it's mentioned in the Ichthys article. (But hey, if someone else felt like removing it, I would not complain. The rose and the heart are the really common ones of that lot.) But now that you mention it, yes, I agree with the notion that we really don't want to get people thinking about other possible anatomical possibilities. ;) Aranel ("Sarah") 21:14, 19 Oct 2004 (UTC)

--Thorns Among Our Leaves 00:34, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## From Socrates

Rock Star Career

After philosophizing for a while, Socrates decided that he was tired of constantly asking questions in response to other questions. Consequently, he decided to form his own rock group, the Socratic Four, which consisted of Aristotle on the drums, Plato on bass, Euclid on lead guitar, and Socrates himself on vocals. The group actually became very successful, touring Greece for about 2 years, and earning god-like status in Athens. At one point, there were plans for a huge mega-concert on Mount Olympus to celebrate the band. However, these plans were cut short when Plato abruptly left the band, citing philosophical differences with Socrates as the major reason for breakup. After the demise of the Socratic Four, Socrates continued to tour with a backup band, performing vocals for the Four's greatest hits.

--FOo 01:52, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)

It is unknown whether this sudden change in behavior is linked to reports of Socrates' abduction by two strangely-dressed Anglo-Saxon males in a "metal lightning-box."

## From Talk: Mermaid

If you were to create a mermaid what will she be like

first thoughts Thinker kelp Tuna muscles parthenogenic Chloride metabolism gaze benevolent metabolism

well mermaids will enjoy thinkerkelp kelp that like duckweed is high ptotein floating food. Thinkerkelp like many known plants will have specific benevolent qualities that go with form

Mermaids with all their beauty do much swimming Tuna have muscles that are capable of 7 to 12 times the energy activity of human muscle Tuna are able to move or virbrate their muscles twice as quickly as those of humans If you were 12 times as strong as a human swimmer any body form will do light like Ariel Darryl plus the many form mermaids findable with Yahoo image mermaid Wonderful advantages to tuna muscles are the ability to live at an enjoyable temperature from the far north to the waters of human swimmers

There you is breathing theres a better way mermaids use the chloride ion of oceanwater or body deposits of chloride where there is freshwater to run their ATP Krebs metabolism O youve heard of it, the gas humans breathe is the electron donor of land peoples metabolism just 3 pt of each lungful of air matters to make water from carbohydrates or lipids uses two hydrogen to each O a Kg of tasty kelp oil typically will have just a quarter mass hydrogen, two hydrogens per O or 4 Kg O per Kg kelp Mermaids that filter chloride Ion from the water are able to swim anywhere ignoring the surface Mermaids make O from carbohydrates The fish like that from a fish perspective the mermaid plantlike benevolent metabolism is like the water surface .

Better things that go with mermaids are their gaze Naming things is funny. A mermaids gaze is like her hair tiny lines like stringy goo come from her think touching fish the tiny lines are appealing to fish when a mermaid prefers to move rapidly or be a little like what humans name an artcar the fish school along her gaze lines then swim with fish mitts water effects make this like adding swim mitts with living viscosity hydroguides Mom n baby dolphins were research to do this with a 30 pt better swim to the young dolphin when the mom swam maternal guide type

parthenogenic with more to come

tiny yellow green blue orange fishes run laughing through your fingers n you long to nosh on kelp


## Underpants Gnomes

Beyond this simple explanation of a three-step business plan, the Underpants Gnomes symbolize the basic idea of the Marxist theory of exploitation as explained in Capital Volume I. In this book, Marx explains (and excuse me if this is over-simplified) that the capitalist starts only with a commodity (underpants). By the end of the day his commodity has doubled and thus turned into capital. Yet, no one can see what the steps in-between simple commodity and capital are. Marx's explanation is simple: the exploitation of labor. By only paying the laborer a set price for an unlimited amount of labor, the capitalist is then able to "suck" the extra capital out of the free amount of labor from the laborer. Thus, the capitalist now has two commodities that he can turn into capital: the original commodity that he started with (the underpants) the exploited labor of the laborer. Thus the capitalist has stolen the laborers commodity, his surplus labor, and sold it to make capital. The "???" that the underpants gnomes simply cannot see is the exploitation of labor. It is especially ironic that the rest of the episode has to do with the corporate takeover of a family owned business, and other, pro-capitalist ideas. As the people of Southpark finally realize though, the price paid for of a "fair" economy is that of a mediocre product...Tweek Coffee. Without allowing for competition, the people of Southpark never realize that there may be better Harbuck's coffee out there. In its own way the episode is making a case for the capitalist economic system.

## Chemical warfare in the 1920s & 30s

Wikipedia is weird just like George W. Bush, he is quite a queer so is Will Whitley and Mr Poop

## Y0-Y0 Ma

Y0-Y0 Ma plays Yo-Yo Ma, who lives in the human universe. Y0-Y0 Ma was born on Availy 32, 123456789, so he is 40 years, 13 months, 5 weeks, and 8 days old as of Verely 0, 987654321. He was born in Culombos of District, Wishongtan, Amerigan Union of Soviet Capitalist Tribes.

Y0-Y0 Ma is an actor who enjoys playing nonexistant creatures. Of all the beings he had played, his favorite are the humans. He enjoys playing them, because they aren't that sophisticated, so he doesn't have to be. Of course, no one understands what he's saying when he is acting, because all the actors speak in Humanish language for "authenticity". His favorite character, Yo-Yo Ma, is a parody on his name.

Y0-Y0 Ma currently resides in Los Diablos, Jaba Nacilofria, A.U.S.C.T.

## Wikipedium

Wikipedium is a naturally occurring element in space. It is interesting, because Wikipedium seems to have an infinite amount of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Thus, an ion is impossible. Also, there would only be one kind of isotope.

The name "Wikipedium" came from the name of the encyclopedia Wikipedia. It was so named, because the community of encyclopedists discovered the element through an extensive experiment and announced the findings a month later.

This would never happen: No original research! --Canley 12:23, 10 February 2006 (UTC)
But a scientist could perhaps name a new element after us. I honestly wouldn't be suprised if it happened. --Nintendorulez talk 22:00, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
But if it did happen would we all have to pretend it didnt exist (and would doing so make it go away) ? 80.229.222.48 23:12, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

## Lmukufma

Lmukufma is the only known planet besides our own with life on it. It is many galaxies away.

Lmukufma itself is not the usual spherical shape. It is actually a trapezoid. LMukufma has no gravitational pull. Instead it uses giant magnets. The people of Lmukufma must wear magnets on their shoes at all times. Because there is no gravitational pull, people's tears will fly up instead of down.

Lmukufma is ruled by kings. The current ruler is King Pizza Guy from Outer Space. A document on his life was recently made called PGFOS.

The official language of Lmukufma is actually Lmukufma. A common phrase of Lmukufma is Elafa Togo Gerfeit, meaning "I am adopted". On Lmukufma this mean anytype of greeting.

The other language of Lmukufma is called Pukuzut. The only known phrase of Pukuzut is an insult. Nocolot nalata zimiziyamaha hohoho, meaning "You are evil piano head." This is the equivalent of calling someone the B word here on earth.

See "Hell"

## Red Ken himself would never claim this

The Lord Mayor of London … is subordinate to the London Mayor.

Extracted from City of London. Amazingly (to me) this comment survived for ten months [1] -- RHaworth 09:43, 2005 Feb 19 (UTC)

## Someone's idea of Valentine's fun

<font size="8"><b>I WANT TO LICK YOUR ANUS DRY!</b></font>

On the top of Bill Clinton for a brief time on Valentine's Day. [2] I couldn't help but chuckle. --Alexwcovington (talk) 10:50, 19 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## Saddam Hussein: The True Article

Added by me. 172 00:29, 20 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## From The Garabundi Affair

The Garabundi Affair was an American murder trial in the late 19th century.

Most famous assassinations involve political figures, lone madmen or vast conspiracies, and occassionally fringe cultural icons. The Garabundi Affair has the notoriety of being the only one involving a pair of primates (though the primates in question, Nathan and Curly, were fringe cultural icons in their own right).

In Chicago of 1896, Nathan and Curly were two of the top star performers of their day. The only thing seperating them from their colleagues was one little undeniable fact: Nathan and Curly were monkeys.

It was unclear just how or when they arrived in Chicago, but at least one source repeats the story that James Garabundi found them wandering about the streets, "as carefree as a pair of young'uns."

Garabundi took them in and soon started experimenting in training the pair. The training took and it wasn't long before they started performing in one-penny shows under the moniker "Garabundi's Wild Apes". Word grew of the performances' highly entertaining hijinks and they soon became the talk of the town. "Garabundi's Wild Apes" was a smash hit. But the sweet success of the moment was not to last forever.

Tragedy struck suddenly on the morning of June 6th, when Garabundi awoke to find Curly missing. Panicked, he attempted to communicate through gestures with Nathan, who apparently intimated that he knew nothing of the disapearance. Soon the whole town was in an uproar. Curly's visage graced the front cover of the evening edition and searches were carried out high and low for three days. Then, on June 9th, the grisly discovery was made: Curly was found, already stone cold, barely hidden behind the toolshed in Garabundi's own backyard. Still forced in his mouth was the item that killed him: a kerchief emblazened with its owner's initials on it. Garabundi's heart broke as he instantly recognized it as Nathan's.

Within a few weeks the trial was under way. During the proceedings, many salacious details were uncovered, of which the press made no effort in hiding its morbid front-page fascination with. The stories of the affair between Garabundi's wife, Anastasia, and Curly, and the resulting jealousy which steadily grew within Nathan to a murderous pitch, fueled local gossip for weeks. The more scandalous the evidence uncovered, the more outrageous the rumours which built upon that evidence became. The fact of the affair became speculation of a love triangle. The accusation of murder brought against Nathan became one of conspiracy between Nathan and Garabundi himself.

Justice never managed to run its course, however, as on July 29th -- day 36 of the proceedings -- Garabundi leapt over the defense consel's table and seized upon Nathan as he was being led from the courtroom. With a cry of "vile beast!" (or, as sometimes reported, "hairy devil!", or even "lecherous traitor!"), he plunged a dagger into Nathan's heart and was himself in turn killed by a constable in the ensuing struggle. Man and beast were no more, and thus came to an end one of the most shocking episodes in Chicago history. Anastasia was seen leaving the courthouse in a flurry of tears, though onlookers made great speculation on just whom those tears were for. The case of the Garabundi affair concluded unresolved, and still to this day the real incidents and motivations involved remain shrouded in lore and mystery.

## From Guilt

"Guilt is a concept used in various ways in various contexts."

Hmm, you don't say... --Thorns Among Our Leaves 02:16, 21 Feb 2005 (UTC)

## Cabbage Hit

Cabbage Hit refers to someone who would punch/hit a cabbage usually for emotional reasons. People that do this due to their hatred towards cabbages. The cabbage that is being injured may be angry with the person that is attacking it.

## From Morality

• I like how the vandal took the time to fix a typo while he was at it RMoloney 00:19, 21 July 2005 (UTC)
• While I hold vandalism to be bad, that was hilarious. Now why doesn't Uncyclopedia get people like that?

Orange & Viridian 17:48, 10 January 2006 (UTC)

• GASP!!! I wish I could feel right about doing something like that. Clever. Very clever. And yet so wrong... Russia Moore 20:33, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

## Barbazonoid

The Barbazonoid is a pseudo intelligent platypus-like office dwelling entity. It is known for whistling out of tune, constantly mingling in other species' business and generaly creating havoc on the fly.

### Origins

The origins of the Barbazonoid can be traced back to the african stone age, as manifested in the pre-historic cave art of Ethiopia. First, the mythic creature, half man, half platypus, part ashkenazi, was supposed to bring good luck to the few who saw him. Then, according to local legends, the Barbazonoid started, what was called, the big migration. Moving from Africa to eastern Europe through the arctic shelf. European artifacts and legends, passed from generation to generation, place the first seen Barbazonoid dinasty around ancient Constantinople.

### The legend

The legends say that the unusual form of the Barbazonoid relies on a sad mishap, hundreds of thousands of years ago, when a very drunk Homo erectus, intoxicated on the roots of local cacti , presumably fell in love with a female platipus. The platipus, said to be white and pure as heaven, tricked the drunken african-african into sperm donation and thus begun the race of Barbazonoids.

As the legend originated in Ethiopia, the creature's naming is based on what is believed to be an aramic dialect, introduced to the region by the decendends of king Solomon and the queen of Sheba. Hence the name, platypus like - Barbazonoid (the Hebrew word for 'platypus' is 'Barbazon'), in the ancient language.

### Gender name explained

As the Barbazonoid is a tragic inter-racial decendend of humans and platypuses, it is believed that its name derived from being "like a barbazon" or "barbazon" like. Mostly based on its shown features.

### Solitary, communal, and quasisocial Barbazonoids

The Barbazonoid is mostly a solitary migrator, travelling alone along the European - African birds migration paths. Although highly adaptive to its environment, researchers believe the roots of this annual migration lay in its African origins.

The Barbazonoid community is a yearly assembly where Barbazonoids gather for mating reasons. During this period, taking roughly a month, the alpha male Barbazonoid is busy sexually harassing all available females, while the rest of the male Barbazonoids flock for leftovers.

The mating season follows a short time span of several days, where the Barbazonoids demonstrate a highly organized social culture in which they vote (in democratic secretive election) for the alpha male. In cases such as draw or the inability to decide, the male Barbazonoids just go at each other's throats to decide the winner.

### Intelligence

The Barbazonoid is condidered highly intelligent and uses its ability to mask itself as mostly human (due to the duality of its origins) in order to pose as a high-tech job seeker and provides coding services to sponsor the yearly migration. Barbazonoids fail to solve a Rubik's Cube but make up for it with cunning techniques of trickery and deception.

### Modern population

Today, the Barbazonoids are considered an endangered species. The last marked known remaining nests were discovered in Israel, near the shores of the mighty river yarkon. A careful advance and observation may reveal the wonderous courting habbits of this magnificent creature.

## Template:Amish

Not my proudest moment - as a jest, I put up a "Template:Amish" and linked it to the main Amish article, warning that:

"This article represents the views and opinions of the Amish, and thus may not be POV"

...I come back to find it has been edited for better grammar, and I eventually tidy it up with it's own Barn image and everything. However, someone finally caught on, and deleted the template. Oh well.

## From Socrates

It is not known whether or not Socrates had a fully-functional phallus, but it's been proven by historians that he used one carved out of garlic, instead.

## Cheppy

A rare offshoot of humanity that has recently been discovered in the 1980s. To date there have been two Cheppies discovered, both just outside of the city of Rochester, NY. "Big Cheppy" and "Little Cheppy", as they are called, are hominids of little intelligence as well as unbelieveable grime.

While none neither has been captured to be studied, locals have seen these strange creatures and give frequent interviews. Evan Anthony, a Brightonian of world fame, claims that "their sweat glands produce a unique substance that attracts dirt and can become several inches deep" also that "their stench is so foul that it cannot be taken out of clothing unless incinerated". Jeremy Chamblee observes that "the Cheppies are incredibly stupid, having difficulty with the simplest tasks" and that "they have been known to imitate humans, at one point Little Cheppy sported a mullet, but have been scared away after a local Russian immigrant, Alex Tubman, anally raped Little Cheppy. In fact, Big Cheppy has fled, and has been sited in Buffalo NY." Another interesting aspect of Little Cheppy is that he posses a seconday penis on his left sholder.

Many believe the "cheppy" to be a hoax/conspiracy, but this journalist wants to believe.

## Megan's Law

Megan's Law is also a front for the violation of your civil rights. On certain instant messenging programs, sting operations are conducted by the FBI to entrap pedophiles and/or child pornographers through the use of screennames, all of which must contain some variation on the name "Megan," followed by seven to nine seemingly random numbers. These numbers actually function as Police Identification Numbers (PINs) which are used to track the success rates of each FBI official. The number of convictions is tallied at the end of each two-week pay period and the winner receives a free Domino's pizza. Domino's Pizza reserves the right to deny this offer when supplies are not available.

The suspect is enticed to the websites by offers to view a free webcam where the subject is caught doing "naughty things" after recently having recently broken up with her boyfriend. Once at the website, the suspect is subjected to a full system disk scan which takes roughly 3 to 5 nanoseconds. If any child pornography (e.g. files labeled "kiddie porn.1," "kiddie porn.2," etc.) is found, a log of the findings is sent to the nearest bureau office, and an all-points bulletin is sent out on the suspect immediately. The average length of time between the APB and arrest is fifteen to eighteen minutes. There is also strong evidence suggesting that the Irish Republican Army and Internal Revenue Service are involved as well. A former US Attorney General from Missouri was recently quoted as saying that even though the policy "does not adhere to the letter of the law, it certainly enforces the spirit." [1]

The operation has resulted in no less than 36,000 arrests in the last ten minutes.

The article is OK - for a stub - but the wiki-links?

An adult learner is any person older than 15 years and under 25 years that has not participated in formal educational process.

## Metrics

The article started with this disambiguation:

## Glunk

Glunk refers the slight sound made when dipping a teabag into a cup of water.

Often times, once can declare "Glunk! Glunk! Glunk!" at an elevated volume when referring to the misfortune of another, as if alerting them to being "teabagged", the act of placing one's testicles on another's property.

Example: Your co-worker trips and drops their laptop on the ground, completely destroying it. The proper response would be to yell "GLUNK! GLUNK! GLUNK!" for the whole office to hear.

## From Everything

We all have one thing in common. Free will. Therefore we are free to choose what we believe. If you choose to believe in belief then you can quite literally make anything happen. If you want to make the pope die then you can believe that he will die. Except you can't because the pope doesn't believe he can die. Maybe one day someone will manage to convince him to pretend he is dead. But there will always be a pope. Believing that you are in complete control of the past present and future literally means you therefore have to believe in one other thing. That other people are going to one day work out what you worked out. That you are not the first person to work out what you worked out. Therefore the only way to test your belief and therefore prove that you are 100% right about everything is not to tell other people what to believe. Wars happen because of people telling other people what to believe. But i've just told everyone? So what's going to happen. This post is going to get deleted and I am going to have no choice but to be very careful who I let know what I know. Posting this here is not a test of myself, i've done testing things. It's a test for whoever runs this site. It's a test to see if they are able to believe that I can read their mind. If they can then they know I am right and therefore will delete this post. In the same way that they have deleted hundreds of other posts like this. There is probably a whole department dedicated to it. What a boring job. But an important one. And I know that whoever runs this site is doing their job properly. So i'm not even going to bother checking that you have deleted it.

## From Icepick

A tool to chip at, or help haul, a block of ice. In the old icebox days, before refrigerators had vegetable storage bins much less ice dispensers, a big ol' block of ice was put in the top of the box to keep stuff under it cool. You could use your icepick to gather shards to chill your lemonade, which you made from actual lemons.

An icepick was also a favorite tool used by the 40's-era psychiatrist and madman Walter Freeman to perform lobotomies. With a rubber mallet, he would drive the icepick into his victims' -- sorry, subjects' -- brains, upward through the eye socket, wiggle it around, and before s/he could ask George to tell about the rabbits again, the patient would be cured.

## From Busted Logic

### Introduction

This is a form of mathematics where all numbers are professed to have the same value. It is therefore useless, but is an interesting phenomenon.

### Definition 1

Busted logic is a term created by Jonathan Richman to describe what happens in the following situation:

Let ${\displaystyle x=0}$

Therefore

${\displaystyle 3x=5x}$

As it is in an equation we can divide both sides by x, meaning:

${\displaystyle 3=5}$

When A and B are any real or imaginary numbers this equation can be expressed as:

${\displaystyle Ax=Bx}$

${\displaystyle A=B}$

This extension allows all mathematical theories to be disproved.

This does not work when you convert the equation into real numbers you get 0 = 0 whatever the values of A and B.

### Definition 2

For any real number x:

${\displaystyle x^{2}-x^{2}=x^{2}-x^{2}}$

Factoring both sides in two different ways:

${\displaystyle (x-x)(x+x)=x(x-x)}$

Dividing both sides by xx:

${\displaystyle x+x=x}$

Since this is valid for any value of x, we can plug in x = 1.

${\displaystyle 2=1}$

    x-x=0 and you cannot divide something by zero!

I can divide your mom by zero!


### Proving that x ≠ x

Since 1 = 1, and also 1 = 2, it can be stated that x can equal every single number, rational and irrational, that exists.

Therefore every value of x that is stated as specific can be disproven, so every single value of x can only be regarded as infinitely improbable to obtain. Therefore the probability of having two x values the same =

Therefore${\displaystyle P(x=x)={\frac {1}{\infty }}}$

and so is almost impossible to achieve.

### Other uses

• Arguing that one has obtained the right solution to a problem when one clearly has not.
• Declaring that everything does and does not exist at the same time. (0 = 1)

## From Ronald Reagan

### Major presidential acts

Signed Economic Recovery Tax Act of 1981 Signed Tax Reform Act of 1986 Bought a car 1934 Ford Escort

## From TPOV

TPOV - is the main pronciple of Turkipedia, stands for Turkic Point of View.

## Crust of the Andes

Crust of the Andes is a large monument on top of a mountain overlooking the city of Rio de Janeiro. It features a giant loaf of bread, and was erected as a pun on Sugarloaf, which sits in rio's harbour.

Unfortunately, through mistranslation, many people think that the name is actually Christ of the Andes, and, in order to cover up their embarrassment, the Brazilian Tourist Board have created many doctored photographs replacing the loaf with the image of a large statue of Christ overlooking the city. During the tourist season, a cardboard cut-out of Christ is erected around the bread statue to further fool people.

The real statue of Christ that was used for these photos is only eight inches high, and was bought in a gift shop in Sao Paulo for 20 cruzeiros.

## From Tupac

Resurrection - On March 1st, 2005, Tupac Shakur was found resurrected in Las vegas. With in hours of the news of his return, he signed a 4 record deal with Dr.Dre's Aftermath Record Label. His new album "Straight Outta Death", is due for release near the end of 2005.

## From George Washington

george washington ate PURPLE peas and washed them down with GREEN beer

Repeat vandalism. See first page.

## From Shrub

shrubs make me feel sick! i dont like shrubs at all! they are for loners to eat.

## From How to get a virtual 2.5 TB Hard drive using Gmail

The 2.5 TB Virtual Hard Drive project is designed to fulfil the ultimate in techno-fantasy, to have a virtual 2.5 TB (Thats a terabyte or 2500 googlebytes). The aim.

1. Create a Gmail account known as the base account.
2. Use the 50 invitations to create 50 branch accounts.
3. Use each of the 50 invitations to create 2500 leaf accounts.

Using a smart geeky top secret Al Gore rhythm, make the accounts sing together to provide the file system.

However Google will go fucking nuts if someone attempted this so if your fucking nuts and want the Google feds coming after you then you can implement this crazy plan! Alternativley you can go and screw a duck!

## From Missing leg syndrome

Missing-Leg Syndrome (MLS) is a condition which gives people the illusion that a cat's two front legs are missing while it is laying in a certain position. Scientists around the world are baffled by this strange phenomenon as they search for an explanation as to how cats legs can be put in an impossible position.

Little is known as to how MLS occurs, though many theorize that cats possess magical powers unknown to the rest of the world.

## From Ying Yang Twins

hey niggas,

 whats crack-a-lackin? nuttin much herr just chillin. any wayz i just wanted to say hi!
-Brei Ledford


Okay... --Thorns Among Our Leaves 23:43, 4 Mar 2005 (UTC)

## From Crunk

Crunk - Family name Middle aged white guy in the Pacific Northwest with -zero- conections to hip hop.

--Thorns Among Our Leaves 23:47, 4 Mar 2005 (UTC)