Hello. My name is Bad Jokes. You Deleted my Other Nonsense. Prepare to die.

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Special collections
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

Reference to Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride. ("My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.")

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

from Wanking

you are a wanker for reading this page on wanking you Wanker


From Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man

The story is very thin, it's based around a robot uprising on a robot producing planet. The Low G Man is the only man strong enough to take the robots down, and he does. Like a strong December wind powering its way through the dead leaves on the forest floor, Low G Man destroys everything in sight, claiming victory.

From The Raven

Edgar Allen Poe also wrote The Emu although this was widely rejected. It states a child was crying over a lost pet rabbit when a black emu came to the window and croaked "Dude." The meaning is unclear.

From Wikipedia talk:Wikipe-tan

Wikipe-tan mopping.png

Anime sickens me

I hate anime so much!! It's a grossly perverted image of the human anatomy that unrealistically portrays characters as good, or bad. Their personalities are generally exaggerated and obnoxious. Gender and age roles are almost always are exactly what they [i]"should"[/i] be. It is a disgrace to the concept of art. It is often so overly cute it makes me sick. I never, ever, ever, ever, ever would want to be represented by that!! Why would this be used to represent anything except... a cartoon group, or something??-- —The preceding unsigned comment was added by The strategy freak (talkcontribs) .

How very ironic that you have this image on your talk page...--Kunzite 00:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
I like anime so much! It's great to see people focus on sentimental and emotional expression than anatomy. Think, if I want accurate anatomy I would watch movie instead of cartoon or anime! It is improved concept of art "focus on express your feeling and forget all anatomy crap!". That's why this should be used to represent everything except... a heartless group. Of cause, there're anime without heart. But I won't bother with them anyway. L-Zwei 05:40, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

From The great toolset disappointment of '06

The Great Toolset Disappointment of '06 occured in the early hours of the morning on October 1st, 2006. On this date, the Neverwinter Nights 2 toolset was scheduled to be released. As thousands of people, who bought the pre-order pack, from all around the world waited in anticipation for their download, the clock turned to 12:01, and still, there was no toolset. Hours later when all the time zones declared it to be past midnight...still no toolset. The Neverwinter Nights 2 forums flooded with threads 50 pages long. People are desparately waiting, and there is no hope in sight.

NWN2 fanatics wait to pillage Atari headquarters

Meanwhile - the rest of the world went on, unaware of the great tragedy.


First date to download was 8th of September, 2006.
Changed to 22nd of September, 2006.
Changed to 25th of September, 2006.
Changed to 1st of October, 2006.

Chronicle of Real time Events:

I'd like to see someone figure out what happened to each previous release date including the current lack of one. Such as "On 30th of sept. at 11:00pm EST, so and so from Atari put their head up their own butts and forgot to tell anyone"

List of People Who suffered due to Atari's incompetence:

Zanbato - Creator of the original 'The Great Toolset of Disappointment of '06' entry
Bashur - One of the few who was there from the beginning. For thirty three hours, he stayed awake and watched the boards, slowly losing his sanity. Leading the protest against ATARI, but falling to the hands of sleep depervation at exactly 12:49PM PST, handing the leadership off to Redunzgofasta.
Cauzway - He lives in Ottawa, Canada. He hates Atari and Obsidian and this is the 2nd night without sleep.
Jecrell - His mouse ran out of batteries after trying to scroll through the 40 page thread.
Teh_Kommadore - One of the few who was there from the beginning
Slappy the Ringthief - Went completely insane
Jaevin - Went postal.
Kernnun - Growing old awaiting NWN2 toolset.
Xaos - Left work early to download his toolset and had his hopes and dreams crushed...
Burt - he lives in Scotland and eats haggis for breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day.
Bunny Lebowski - She kidnapped herself so she could stay up late to watch the countdown timer reach 00:00:00:00

External Links

From Smock

Smock may refer to one of the following:

Smock (garment) The smock was formally invented in 1033 at the battle of Hastings by Eimher Seonhog a combat of the greatest skill, before painting his battle shield he put on a piece of drying Englishman's stomach, to protect his uniform and war paint from dirtying with filthy infidel blood. After this and winning the war he journeyed to Mecca where the great Muhammed Angelo, the greatest painter to the ancient world was working on his newest piece, Dwarders In Motion, Eimher presented the smock to not get his clothes dirty whilst painting and Angelo took it and turned it into the modern day smock, what we now use to wear when eating lobster and Chinese food on a Zimbabwean pedestal.

From Talk:Kinder Surprise

I'd like to know how a toy can be "inhaled". They had this warning back in my school days. And just what is this American regulation about? -- Smjg 16:38, 31 Jan 2005 (UTC)

If a child had just drunk a cup of hot tea, this infra-red heat combined with the UV light from a nearby window if it was a particularly sunny day, would be sufficient to ionise a layer ~10 atoms thick around the toy, thus, if the child were to suddenly hyperventilate, the air resistance would blow this now superheated molten plastic back onto the toy, whereupon any sudden movement could cause the entire toy to vapourise, allowing it to be inhaled and cause cancer in rats. boffy_b 21:55, 2005 May 27 (UTC)
  • Do children under 3 drink tea? Do many parents consider hot tea to be suitable for under 3s?
  • Surely somebody of any age can hyperventilate. Does a child become immune to the effect at 3? And considering at least one source implies that this is longer than the average lifespan of a rat, how can they be sure? :-)
  • Moreover, is this really anything to do with "small parts"?

while dancing the cancan

From "Talk:Battle of the Iron Zombie"

bATTLE oF zION CONSISTS OF media superstar, HappyJack, The Commie Zombi struming on his apocolypse guitar and Jesse The Destroyer who pretty much destroys. Zion is proud to be supporters of both Brian tamaki and Guitar Guru Fats WHite! FREE PALESTINE, LETS GET RID OF THIS ISRAELI OCCUPATION NOW! Battle Of Zion, first foremed in 1972, when LSD was on a rise, HappyJack made a decision that changed the outcome of the vietnam war, and the future of new zealand, what if you took lsd, extracted the physcodelics in in, and fused it with P and adding a SECRET INGREDIANT, he called it HappyCrack, this ultimate P or golden meth as knwen on the street was so amazing, the americans beat vietnam and hunter s thompson released fear and loathing in las vegas. times were rough during the 80's, happyjacks crack and acid addiction was creating arguments over little things in the band like who stole his vogels, and where the fuck was his point of HappyCrack. in the early 90's, Battle Of Zion met its death, The Commie Zombie almost died and decided to play in GG Allins band The Texas Nazis, Jesse The Destroyer lived in china and became a buddhist, and HappyJack's depression was rapidly exculating. One day, in 1993, HappyJack overdosed and nearly died, while in his Coma GG Allin also died ironically of an overdose... When he awoke in 1994, he had fogotten the recipe to HappyCrack. after living in darkness for 10 years, happyjack came out and formed HardCore Christian Band DESTINYSFIST, it was huge, they played audiences like K'rd and Queen St. One day they played Ponsonby as well..., DESTINYSFIST was also spriallying down, J-Ball-Z's alcohol problem was becoming a definte problem, and Bitch Hair Josh was in fact, BECOMING A CHRISTIAN, he was soon kicked out. This leaving HappyJack and J-Ball-Z. HappyJack then went "fuck that" and went to get The Commie Zombie from the slums of Otago, flew to thailand and brought Jesse the Destroyer, and the three went to Queen St on a magic Mushroom Frenzy, not much is remembered from that night apart from those who were attacked, raped and beaten by Jesse the Destroyer. Battle OF Zion was back in buisness! playing non-stop sold out gigs and making millions nowadays The Commie Zombie was banished for not drinking enough and turning down drugs, Battle Of Zion merged with Iron Zombie to make BATTLE OF THE IRON ZOMBIE


This page is a STUPID STUPID official policy on the English Wikipedia. It has wide acceptance among its STUPID editors and is considered a STUPID standard that all STUPID users should follow. When editing this STUPID page, please ensure that your STUPID revision reflects STUPID consensus. When in doubt, discuss first on the STUPID talk page.

Whoever put STUPID in there, it just makes you look more STUPID, STUPID ~~The High Magus~~

From Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865), sometimes called Abe Lincoln and nicknamed Honest Abe, the Rail Splitter, Sweet Daddy Ray, Samurai Abelincoln-san,and the Great Emancipator, was an American politician who served as the 16th President of the United States (1861 to 1865), and the first president from the Republican Party.

From Hair accessory heirarchy (in the process of being deleted)

There is a distinct heirarchy of coolness of hair accessories. It is important to know this. In descending order, cool accessories go as follows:

1. Barrettes 2. Ribbons 3. Clips 4. Headbands 5. Hair elastics

This is important to remember. Color is also important, and if it has glitter that makes it was cooler than the prior entry.

One must also note that there is also a heirarchy when it comes to the color and shape of the hair.

1. Red 2. Chemically treated red. 3. Not red

1. Curly 2. Not curly

From Geek license (deletion discussion)

Most often used in the context of being revoked. A geek license is an abstract object belonging to any geek. A geek's license is "revoked" when they do or say something very un-geek-like, such as not knowing what Babylon 5 is, not recognising that a site is a Wikipedia clone, or forgetting to check if the computer is plugged in before calling in tech support. The term appears to stem from Slashdot culture (1), where it was used as a meme to inform other posters of posts that were not thought out well enough.

LOL reflex syndrome

This syndrome is a result of many years of continuous use of instant messaging applications, namely Yahoo! Messenger, where by users often use the acronym LOL (laugh out loud) in unnecessary.

The origins of LOL (lol) were founded in 1993 with the a means of conveying a funny statement that differed from the traditional "haha". Unlike "haha" represents an actions, thus became quickly popular during the late 80's. Many forms of acronym have spawned since including:

ROFL: Rolling on the floor laughing
LMAO: Laughing my [deleted expletive] off

After being adopted it has become repeated by regular users to the point where they not only fill conversations with uneeded "LOL's" but to the point where they have acquired LOL finger. An RSI, the middle finger used in the repetitve movement of the middle finger from the 'l' to the 'o' to the 'l'. This has led to many infamous lawsuites and is a serious matter at hand.


Anything to fend off the "delete" tags...

From Lobbying is hot:

The purpose of this article is solely to present the concept of the book Lobbying is hot and is not intended to attract any new buyer.

From 2029

  • Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
  • Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
  • Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
  • Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
  • Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
  • Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
  • France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
  • Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
  • George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
  • Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
  • 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
  • Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
  • Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
  • Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
  • Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
  • New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
  • Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
  • IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
  • Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

From Video Games in the 1800s

They did not exist.

Like, oh my GAWD!

Originally listed under the heading of "National brands," we present:

hi my name is andrea maria is rite here with jesenia and jesenia is really smart likemeand andre ais the bestest, maria is i dont know, and esenia is smart.

From Durer's Rhinoceros

Template:Artwork Dürer's Rhinoceros is the name commonly given to a woodcut carved by Albrecht Dürer in 1515.[1] The image was based on a written description and brief sketch by an unknown artist of an Indian rhinoceros that had arrived in Lisbon earlier that year. Dürer never saw the actual rhinoceros, which was the first living example seen in Europe since Roman times. In late 1515, the King of Portugal, Manuel I, sent the animal as a gift for Pope Leo X, but it died in a shipwreck off the coast of Italy in early 1516. A live rhinoceros was not seen again in Europe until a second specimen arrived from India at the court of Phillip II in Spain in around 1579.[2]

Moved from Talk:The 100

Background: The 100 is a list of the 100 most influential people of all time, as assessed by Michael H. Hart in 1978. It is frequently mis-edited by users who can't believe that Jesus isn't in the #1 spot instead of Muhammed. User: tries to elucidate...

The criteria is influence 'on humanity' alone. While many readers may "feel" that Jesus is the "best-person-of-all," their feelings to not speak to the legitimacy of this list as a list of influential people. Keep this in mind.

Side note to semi-aggressive fundamentalists: Things Jesus never said that are central to American Fundamentalist belief:

"Do not change your behavior. I simply have to forgive you. It's less paperwork." - Jesus

"This is my body. No, really...It's actually my body. Seriously guys. Eat me." - Jesus

"Folks, the point of life is to memorize and believe in the events that took place in my life. As long as you know that I rose from the dead, you can actually forget about most of that 'Love thy neighbor' talk. I mean...I freakin rose from the dead. How cool is that?" - Jesus

"Everyone - listen up. We're going to go through the Old Testament and approve only those passages that do not affect our everyday life. Everyone grab a Sharpie. We only have 2 for this crowd, but we can do the fish & bread thing for this too." - Jesus

"While I have long hair, this is only ok until it is socially unacceptable. Once American Fundamentalism takes off, I want every male with short hair, and every woman in a dress." - Jesus

—The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talkcontribs) 14:17, 4 October 2006.

From Mickey Mouse

When Mickey Mouse turned to the age of four, he got abducted by aliens and took him to mars! While he was there he got to play house with all of the alien amigos. This later became known as when Mickey Turned Gay. That was a popular hit movie only shown in Sweden because it was too graphic for the US. When the legendary Mickey Mouse turned to the big old eightteen, the man who played him at Disney land was arrested for starting a big riot about the song Only You by Captain Jack. The Disney company got so offended by this they were going to transfer Mickey to the Cartoon Network but decided not to because Cartoon Network is a bad TV channel. No!

From Blue

blue tastes like peanut butter mixed with sardines in a kind of vegimite/tomato sauce may cause instant death

From Barney & friends

Barney & Friends is a popular children's television homosexually pornographic show produced in the United States, mainly aimed at preschoolers. Barney is a purple anthropomorphic Tyrannosaurus rex who conveys learning through jumping around singing gangsta' songs with a sexually, optimistic attitude ("I touch you, you touch me, you make me happy sexually, with your hands down my pants and you touching my balls, please dont tell your dad or mom!"). Every episode Barney gives a blowjob to the kids on thier penises! And they touch each other everywhere.

Origin and development of the show

Barney was created in 1969 by Sexryl Bitch of Dallas, Sexas. She came up with the idea for the program while considering TV shows that she felt would be sexually appealing to her son. Bitch then brought together a team who created a series of home videos, Barney and the Backyard Bang, which also starred actress Sandy Duncan in the first 3 videos. Later, Barney was joined by the characters Baby Bop and Blowjob.

Although the original videos were a modest regional success, Barney only became a mega hit when the character and format were revamped for series television and picked up by the Public Broadcasting System, debuting as "Barney & Friends" in 1992. The series was produced by Lyrick Studios. For several years, the show was taped at the ColorDynamics Studios facility at Greenville Avenue & Bethany Drive in Allen, after which it moved to The Studios at Las Colinas. Currently, the series is produced in a northern suburb of Dallas, Texas. The TV series and videos are distributed by SHIT Entertainment.

In the new season, due to debut on September 18 (2006) a cousin of Baby Bop and BJ will join the series. [1] Named "Riff", he is a musical Hemeroid, who will teach kids about world music and respect for those who display non-traditional gender characteristics. Dismissing any controversy regarding Riff's orientation, Executive Producer Karen Barnes says, ‘‘I think a show that’s been on this long, it’s important that we add new elements.’’ [2]

Barney & Friends is now shown in other countries where it is translated if necessary. One such example is the Latin-American version produced in Mexico which is called Barney y Sus Amigos, (Spanish translation of "Barney and his Friends.")

Criticism and Controversy

Although most serious reviews of Barney & Friends have been sexy, the show has been the target of a certain degree of controversy. This criticism generally stems from some disagreement in the messages that the show sends children through the situations that it portrays.

For instance, one particular episode made use of the phrase, "A stranger is a friend you have not met yet", which some parents may view as sending a dangerous message to their children. Another episode was criticized because a situation in the episode could be interpreted as teaching children that cheating is good. In the episode, the children are involved in a contest where they have to carry poop with a penis on it without dropping it. One child wins by putting semen on his dick to make the poop stick, and then he is rewarded for "sexual thinking." Another episode was also criticized because one situation could be interpreted as teaching children that it is okay to suck penises. In the episode, one child sucks a penis from another child, but the other doesn`t care because he wanted it to be sucked the first place.

Critics have alleged that the show condoms huge orgies, saying it encourages children to do nothing but have big huge orgies all day long, which has been shown to have sexually effects on their development. This has also led critics to believe Barney is an attack on Individualism. The most popular claim is that many believe the children all act alike, and they all like to do each other all throughout the show.

The show has also been criticized for that its too hot and homosexual for 2 year olds value. However, studies conducted by Yale researchers Dorothy and Jerome Singer have confirmed that episodes actually contain a great deal of what gay sex and child molestation should be for 2 year olders. An additional criticism has been made that the characters often use sex to solve real problems, something that is very controversial among Christian fundamentalists who regard "sex" as equivalent a sin.

From Religion

A simplification of religious ritual in general.

From John Adams

After the Constitution was signed, Adams decided to leave his strict, colonial lifestyle and become a monk in the Himalayas. When this wish was flouted, he became heavily into drugs and alcohol. In 1778, he was arrested for possession of Lavander-Therapy perfume, which is currently used as a sedative sprayed on rioting crowds in modern standards. Afterwards, he, Washington, Rutledge, and Handcock became an alternative rock group known as the Fatherz of Statez with such hit songs as "Love me but Don't Tax my Tea" and "I Eat Brits for Breakfast."

From Elmo

Elmo is a friend of the devil. He is a furry red creature with googly eyes and an orange nose. He currently hosts the last full segment on Sesame Street, called Elmo's World, which is aimed at toddlers. He is accompanied by his goldfish Dorothy, and by silent Charlie Chaplin–like characters named Mr. Noodle and Mr. Noodle's Brother Mr. Noodle. His puppeteer is Kevin Clash.

Silver Stream, New Zealand

The Silver Stream is a magnificent stream flowing with magestic beauty and sewage. Leprechauns and Unicorns dance all day on their grassy banks. Their are many families living along this stream. One of the profolic families is the Bates family.

Prolific, maybe? Graham87 10:55, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

From M Fever

A viral infection first diagnosed in the south of England in 1971 by the late Doctor Herbert Marminet (1921 - 1993) of Kings College London.


The first signs of the fever begin with the patient feeling a light malaise and general feeling of nausea. Some sufferers have reported a red spotted rash behind the ears. The onset of the fever begins after several days and includes vomiting, chronic tinnitus, a red spotted rash, tiredness, hair loss, aching joints, swelling of the tongue, surplus phlegm, bleeding from the nose, brittle nails, constipation, loose teeth, lock jaw and clench palm, a form of epilepsy where the hands spasm uncontrollably into fists and a general feeling of depression.


As mentioned the first case was discovered in England during the 1970s and it is still not known what causes this disease and indeed what cures it. Several charities have been set up to conduct research, which include M-ercy and The Imperial M Fund. Soon after the first diagnosis by Dr Marminet several cases were reported, isolated in the seaside town of Brighton. Since then cases have emerged in other, mainly rural, areas of Britain. Some believe that the disease is a migratory virus, capable of lying dormant for some time within the host environment. The trigger for an outbreak is still unclear and many scientists believe an epidemic could occur at any time, particularly teatime on Thursdays.


M-ercy was set up by Bernard Manning in 1984 when his close friend John Bilge was diagnosed with the condition. Since then Bernard has donated all the proceeds from his last two tours and has to date of publication raised close to £100 for the charity.

The Imperial M Fund was launched by the singer Boy George off the back of the Band Aid event. The singer had suffered from the virus during his ‘Love Pest’ tour in 1984. The high profile of Boy George and his band, Culture Club, have raised several pounds for the research fund and are currently funding three part-time, unpaid research students at the University of Exeter in South West England.


There are currently no known cures for the disease, but several things are reported to ease the tension signs. Smoking marijuana in small quantities (although illegal) can relieve some of the symptoms. A good night’s sleep is also reported to help though more than nine hours a day can further the complications. Sufferers have also found relief in the following: playing all ball sports, applying or ingesting squeezable cheese, licking the wrong side of envelopes, making sandcastles, combing their hair with forks, wearing tight underwear, talking in Scandinavian accents, balancing chopsticks, swallowing folded postcards of Great Yarmouth and all flavours of soup other than minestrone.


To date there have been over 614 cases of the disease reported, all within the British Isles and Chad, Central Africa.

From 2070s

December 24 - Serbia, Bulgaria and Turkey has a Christmas patrol of Southeast European elves leaping and ballerinas dancing at Christmas. But it takes place in Sofia.

From Rambone

Rambo enjoying a fishy snack.

Rambone "Rambo" The Albino Tiger Oscar (October 23, 2005 - February 25, 2006) was an albino tiger oscar owned by two brothers who reside in Michigan. Rambone was purchased at a young age from a Michigan pet store. His tragic death in February of 2006 shocked those that knew him, and led to better fish care in the home in which he lived.

Purchase and Early Life

A young Rambo.

Rambo was purchased on October 23, 2005 from a Michigan pet store. Although October 23, 2005 is shown as the date of Rambo's birth, he was likely born several months before in a fish hatchery, as the US stock of tiger oscars are rarely captured from wild environments.

Rambo was housed with a small, one or one-and-a-half inch pleco, which it is assumed he killed. The murder was not witnessed, and the body was not consumed, but it was an otherwise healthy fish.


Upon leaving the pet store, Rambo was transferred to his new home in the store provided plastic bag. His new residence was a ten gallon aquarium in the bed room of the brothers who had purchased him. General consensus says that a ten gallon aquarium is far to small for tiger oscars, however, due to his young age, and therefore small size, Rambo had no problems with the tank at first.

Rambo grew to about seven inches before his untimely death. Although he never really achieved a large enough size to be caused discomfort or health problems by his ten gallon tank, the fact that he was never given a larger tank was one of his owners' greatest regrets. They were in the process of purchasing him a twenty-nine gallon tank when he passed away.


Rambo enjoyed a diet of "cichlid staple" pellets, grubs, an occasional worm, and dozens of feeder fish ranging in size. Although, once again, the general consensus is that feeder fish are not healthy for pet fish (as they are too high in fat), his owners felt that he thoroughly enjoyed chasing, killing, and eating feeders

His Last Months

Rambo and his dreaded nemesis.

Rambo really settled into his tank well. He had his favorite spots, and would lay by the heater, digging holes and waiting for food. He was a gluttonous eater, and would eat until he burst, if given the chance. He most likely ate several feeder fish a week, chasing them about his small tank and grabbing them. Sometimes he wouldn't eat them, but just kill them.

Around December Rambo's owners acquired a small, electronic, remote-controlled submarine. This became Rambo's Nemesis. Whenever the sub was introduced to Rambo's tank, he would viciously attack it as the pilot steered it out of harms way.


On February 24, 2006, Rambo's owners went on vacation for the weekend. Rambo was fed plenty the day before and his tank was cleaned. Upon arriving home on Sunday, the 26th, Rambo was found dead in a filthy tank. A hastily removed and replaced part of the filter had stuck, stopping the filter and causing Rambo to stew in his own filth, causing death.


Rambo was buried in his owner's side yard, his grave marked with a rock bearing the markered description:

Rambone 'Rambo' The Albino Tiger Oscar
October 23, 2005 - February 24, 2006

He is visited to this day by his owners' sister, who cared very deeply for the fish.

From Vietnam War

National Security Council members, including Robert McNamara, Dean Rusk, and Maxwell Taylor, agreed on November 28, 1964, to recommend that Johnson adopt a plan for a two-stage escalation of bombing in North Vietnam by using the method of Paper, Scissors, Rock.

From Th'u~nks

Th'u~nks as a religion, was born when two prophets — known as the Two Great Piephits by practitioners of the religion — discussed the greatness, and spiritual meaning that can be found in the humble pie, particularly the Pukka (pronounced "puck-ah") variety. Currently it has believers in countries around the globe.


In the year 2006 CE the Piephits were discussing the benefits of the pie over other pastry based savoury foods, when they were struck by a joint moment of revelation. This moment, known as The Pievation, was believed to be the moment when the Master Baker showed the true meaning of pastry, and consequently life to the Two Great Piephits. From this they jointly established the main underlying tenant of the religion, that of B'heegery and thus Th'u~nks was born.


This is the main philosophy of the religion, and a Th'u~nkseer must complete an act of B'heegery to become a true adult in the eyes of Th'u~nksian Church. After this a Th'u~nkseer may complete B'heegery as often as he or she likes. It is born out of the notion of conversion, the act of B'heegery being the conversion of another non-believer with a melodic shout of "You love-a the Pie", and the ceremonial handing over of a pie, preferably Pukka. The pie should then be eaten by the converted one, saving the crust until last. The foil casing that the pie arrived in then may be worn as a hat, to show others that the wearer embraces B'heegery.


The normal method of worship is the weekly attendance of a Pie Factory, services are held on the factory floor, usually by the owner of the Factory (naturally all Pie Factory managers are Th'u~nkseers). On entrance to the factory, one must make the traditional cry "Me love-a the Pie". The service mainly consists of the handing out of the Piehost, and the silent, meditative consumption of it. Of course this act of worship is substitute to the act of B'heegery, which is often known as "The Pure Worship". Some devout Th'u~nkseers refuse to worship in this way, and worship solely through B'heegery; naturally these are responsible for the majority of conversions, and offer an explanation as to why Th'u~nks grew so quickly.

Conflict Within Th'u~nks

Very soon after the Piephits founded Th'u~nks and set down the fundamental aspects of B'heegery a split in the Church was formed. This stemmed out of the two Piephits inability to agree upon which crust is the greater, and therefore should be saved until last. This formed the famous Upper/Lower split in the Th'u~nksian Church. Some renegade Th'u~nkseers believe that this split in belief was an intentional design of the Master Baker's, and that no crust is greater than the other: as such they eat whichever crust they please, to the great disgust on the behalf of most Th'u~nkseers. This instability in the early Church was further compounded by unfounded rumours that the naming of the fundamental aspect of Th'u~nks (B'heegery) was named after a crude, minor expletive. At this point the religion threatened to collapse, and so the Two Great Piephits set aside their differences temporarily to reassure that this was not the case. After this both the Uppper and Lower aspects of the religion grew in size (there has also recently been a definite increase in those believing the renegade view of Equal Crusts), and since then the religion has remained stable.

From Fireplace

If the Mushanaarg in your fireplace is unhappy, drape some holly on the logs and spray air freshener on the fire when it is lit. This will make the Mushanaarg very happy.

From Palpatine

In November 2005, Parenting Magazine included Palpatine on its list of "One Hundred Positive Role Models for Modern Children." Palpatine ranked 67th, coming in just behind worker's rights activist Cesar Chavez. The magazine described Palpatine as: "a paragon of responsible leadership and a constant reminder of the infinite power of human compassion."

From GeForce 8 Series

In order to combat power supply concerns, Nvidia has declared that G80 will be the first graphics card in the world to run entirely off of the souls of dead babies. This will make running the G80 much cheaper for the average end user.

From Fart

People with the name "Chandler" are known to fart 10 times more than anybody else. Scientists are unsure why this is true. They have an idea that it deals with the moon and waves.

A deprecated deprecated template

From Template:Tdeprecated

Symbol comment vote.svg

The template is deprecated. Please use {{[[wp:Template:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]]}} instead.
This usage is deprecated. Please replace it with {{tdeprecated|Hello. My name is Bad Jokes. You Deleted my Other Nonsense. Prepare to die.|{{{1}}}|date=January 2022}}.

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From Mountain Dew

The Secret Fromula for Mountain Dew is Human urine (Even all of it's other brands too). And the secret formula for your brain is Human Crap ~~The High Magus~~

From St Ninian's High School

Big John Docherty

John Docherty's true origins are unknown, yet several rumors persist.

One states that he comes from Norway, born of a great giant clam. Another claims that he was begat by a union of stellar gasses in a distant galaxy.

But the one most people believe says that he was originally brought forth by an ancient clan of Cave Bears and raised in a time when all beasts and men could change their form. Truly there was no difference between species other than their own perceptions, which, occasionally, they decided to change.

John Docherty experimented with many forms, Buffalo, Orcas, wolf, pinkish Aardvark. But of them his favorite was that of the great Bald Eagle. John Docherty spent many seasons with the beasts of the world, playing, and telling stories. He got to know many other creatures, still known to people of the world today, like Coyote and Raven, Ra, Horus and even Odin and Thor. Most of them were fun at parties but you would not want to invite them into your home.

Eventually he began to work with others chronicling their lives on the walls of caves, the sides of rocks-anywhere an image could be made. Especially where they could be seen and shared by others for many years. Now, drawing and painting on cave walls in the form of a Bear is quite hard. Just you try and hold a paint slathered stick in a paw! So John Docherty decided to change, pretty much permanently, into the form of a human being.

John Docherty(As Blackbeard)'s flag, showing a horned skeleton holding an hourglass and threatening a bleeding heart with a spear.

Later on in the history of the demi-god that is John Docherty he became a notorious pirate, incase he wished to return to the civilised world John Docherty changed his name to "Edward Teach" A.K.A - Blackbeard. As John Docherty's exploits as Blackbeard are well known I will refrain from including details about this time in his odyssey.

In more recent times John Docherty decided to change his name to John Norris because he thought that Norris was quite an "in" sounding name. Anyway, as being a shape-shifting demi-god invulnerable to pretty much anything (except Dutch Edam cheese heated to 43.1 C (109.58 F)) was a rather lonely existance John Norris decided to create a sub-being based on himself (though the sub-being lacked the shape-shifting ability and was a meer 0.00246% as powerful as John Norris himself). John Norris decided called this being "Chuck". After a few years John Norris got bored with Chuck and changed his name back to John Docherty.

Today John Docherty remembers nothing of this life as a shape shifting creature and, despite all of it's challenges and troubles, is forging on ahead as an ordinary man to live a good and happy life. He lives in Scotland UK in his new layer.

John Docherty currently works at St Ninian's High School nearby. To this day, in an acknologment to his pirating days he celebrates "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" and has the pupils his school do the same. Even though he cannot consciously remember his pirating days John Docherty finds himself strangly drawn to pirates.

From Tom Chaplin


  • There is some debate as to whether he has a large or small face due to having such small facial features (lips, nose, eyes, etc.) on such a large facial canvas.


I have considered having surgery to enlarge my face so that it is correctly proportional to my head. My small face has been source of great shame for me.
No, I am not a "farmer's son". I don't know who keeps telling everyone that.
"Farmer's son!" they all cry as I walk down the street. Once a group of small children chased me down an alleyway shouting "Farmer's son! Farmer's son!" I was only able to escape by hiding in a coal bunker.
Drugs were the only way I could stop my ever-shrinking face from disappearing entirely into the centre of my head.
I mean, just because a man chooses to wear a peasant's smock and straw hat and carry a pitchfork everywhere in public, does it necessarily mean he must suffer the cruel taunts of an unforgiving world? I think not.

The MPF formula

The formula for the MPF was derived from extensive research and interviews performed by Panther Creek University research specialists in a coordinated effort with golf associates of one James (Jim) McDonough. After much debate and discussion the following formula was developed:

Interest level of McDonough in item of diversion = M2


Level of urgency in successful arrival of scheduled tee-time = P

M2 X P = MPF

It was with great consideration and these factors in mind that enabled our panel of experts to arrive at the before mentioned MPF, or otherwise known as the "McDonough Piddling Factor"

Items that may induce piddling include:

Starbucks, one legged women, red wine, J. Pittman, The Curve Inn, anyone that Jim played softball with or worked with and hasn't seen in ten years or more.....


This information is copyrighted by the "Association of Friends Against Piddling".......

From Rangers F.C.

The club's correct name is simply Rangers F.C. although it is sometimes incorrectly called Glasgow Rangers, this frequently happens with English commentators seeking to distinguish between them and other similarly-named clubs, particularly Queens Park Rangers F.C.. The club's correct name is simply Rangers F.C. although it is sometimes incorrectly called Glasgow Rangers, this frequently happens with English commentators seeking to distinguish between them and other similarly-named clubs, particularly Queens Park Rangers F.C..

The club is nicknamed The Teddy Bears, from the rhyming slang for Gers (short for Rangers), and the fans are known to each other as 'Bluenoses'. "Fudge Packers," was another nickname given them by their secondary captian, Brian Assman. They later realized that Brian really was a fudge packer and decided to beat him with a pillow case full of batteries.

This, a vanity article? Who are you calling a vanity article?

... is a masterful visionary artist known for the illuminating quality of his work. Though he has had no formal training in the arts his works breathes with life and light.


Both serene and passionate at once, Michael's images speak from an ancient universal language of beauty that anyone can understand and relate to. For his subject matters, he reaches into his innermost visions and experiences, finding places that many humans fear to confront in themselves. Exploring the inner map of the psyche and the heart, he translates what he finds into breathtaking imagery illustrating the journey of growth and transcendence from the inescapable phenomenon of human conditioning.

From 1657 in science


  • Bob Bobbity Bobson, American scientist who discovered that he had eyes

Is water really wet?

Proponents of the water is wet doctrine or concept claim that their belief is correct, however, critics point out that the vast majority of the doctrine is false. Critics note that their claim suffers from circular logic, and accuse proponents of using ad hominems to further their argument. Believers often lash out aggressively at those who point out that water is, in fact, dry. "Wet" water is often an assumed position, by definition, and therefore critics argue the proponent's argument is flawed, in definitional terms. Ice, for example, is a form of water and, at -204°C, is often described as dry at that temperature. As a result, proponents of the "water is wet" dogma are seen by some as ill-informed on the nature of water. The main proponents of this dogma work in water-related industry, leading some to believe that the water is wet concept is more likely propaganda.

From "Increase Mather"

'''==He's a Hottie Defending Massachutes=='''

What is Zoroastrianism?

Zoroastrianism is the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathushtra, Zartosht). Mazdaism is the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God). It is also used to refer to the religion created by Zorro, the masked avenger (regardless of errors in historical dates).

From Anthony Gardner

Anthony Gardner (born August 18, 1981 in Stafford) is an English football player who currently never ever fucking plays for Tottenham Hotspur as a defender therfore scoring me precisely zero points and arsing up my fantasy league team.

AFD for Lucius Caecilius Iucundus

From Talk:Main Page


Put your name here to bann wikipedia.....

Alexandra Cattich

From Nazi UFOs

Nazi Death Cruiser

In 1956 the Nazis forces of antartica developed a weapon of extreme power. Ultimatly it was denied by governments of the western world, but it is now clear that it was of great concern to them. A 48 hour spacebattle followed with eventual victory going to the Allies, there were no reportable casualties, except those of the nazi pilots, as the Allies used robot planes to defeat the evil leaders of tyrrany.

From Sharp Q-tips

A sharp q-tip is a 2-sided cotton swab on a stick. Inside each peice of cotton there is a small, very sharp blade similar to an utility knife, but smaller. The sharp q-tip can cause bleeding and clean up blood AT THE SAME TIME! It is also good for cleansing your inner ear of skin.

from Very special episode

  • Golden Girls - Blanche's vagina is declared a National Historic Landmark and to celebrate, Rose spends her entire Social Security check on cocaine.

More professional...

(diff) (hist) . . Cruising‎; 14:28 . (Talk) (editted "slicing their bodies into little pieces" to "mutilating their bodies" to make it sound more professional.)

From Talk:Pokémon Mystery Dungeon

Why is it that "Team Go-Getters" is made up of Squirtle, Charmander, and Chikorita? Shouldn't the grass-type member of the group be Bulbasaur to complete the original three?

Bulbasaur was busy filming another project at the time, and wasn't available for this one. -SaturnYoshi THE VOICES 23:00, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

From Wikipedia:Sandbox

A dog's mouth is two hundred times cleaner than an atomic bomb!

Yawning in a lizard's testicles can lower your cholesterol!

From Kirkland Signature

Recently, Costco has started offering computer components under the Kirkland brand name - specifically, north & south bridges, motherboards and even more recently, their own form of Core 2 Duo processors to compete with Intel's main marketing schema. The Kirkland Core 2 Duo has repeatedly out performed the lower model Core 2 Duos in terms of price and performance.

The above went unnoticed for over a month. Caffeinepuppy 03:58, 16 October 2006 (UTC)

From Millard Fillmore

Template:Nihongo is a character in the fictional world of Pokémon.

Brock is the Pewter City gym leader. In the animated series, he steps down from this position to travel with Ash. His English name is a word play off of Rock. Brock uses Rock/Ground type Pokémon.

Brock is also known in the animated series, the Pokémon manga series (Electric Tale of Pikachu), and the Ash & Pikachu manga as the character whose eyes appear to be closed all the time. This has led to many nicknames given by fans relating to this appearance. This trait appears to be hereditary, as his father and nine siblings all share it.

In the anime, Brock is a parental type, and is no stranger to taking care of people. At the start of the series, he was the Pewter Gym Leader, who took care of his brother and sisters because neither his father nor his mother were around at the time. (The English dub erroneously stated that his mother had died, but she has been seen in several episodes after that incident.)

Gower is Power

In 1945, David John Gower (the mountain man) ventured down from the lonley mountains of Montana. Only to find that things where worse in the city than in the mountains. So he left Montana, headed out to sea. His location still remains unknown today, but we have aquired "The David Files", which have been recently de-classified by the government. It is now known to us that the military used the "Power of Gower" to defeat the Germans in WWI and WWII, and he was was present at the battle of 1812 (which actuly took place in 1815). This is the ony picture ever taken of this elusive creature. http://paranormal.about.com/library/graphics/patterson_bigfoot_lg.jpg

Many have claimed to see him from parts of Europe, the U.S., and even parts of Asia. This leads people to beleive that this is a species of many individuals. While we don't know for sure, new information has lead us to belive that there is only one. The files obtained by the government state that "Gowa" as they call it, has the capibility to run at speeds in excess of 110 MPH. This makes it the fastes living thing on the planet. In addition, it also has the ability to defiey the laws of liquid surface tenion. In other words, it can run accross water with ease. That is how people can see it from many different countries. There have been reports from ships and low-flying planes, of seeing a fast moving object running over the water. Some claim that it has hair, while others say they could not tell because of its excessive speed. Upon learning of his exit, the government searched the mountains of Montana and found what they beleived to be his lair. In it they found: an array of posters with the band known as green day on them, many CDs, as well as 700 rotissery chicken boxes. Although this may seem starnge for an animal to live off a diet consisting of one thing, locals around his lair have reported of hearing noises coming from the mountains at night.

The next morning they would find: children, pets, cattle, and rotiserry chickens missing. There is still much we have yet to learn. In conclusion, this is a giant steaming pile of bullshit!! If you beleived this then I have good news!! You can also breath underwater if you are over the age of 3. This is another secret that the government has been keeping from you. So go try it now! Have a nice day... Insert non-formatted text here

A silly vandal

Somebody just vandalized the main page of Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense. This is what one of the paragraphs ended up looking like;

Sometimes, rather than merely adding a joke to a page, someone creates an entire page as a joke. Or FUNKY DOODLE WAGON MONKEY!!!!!!!!! a silly page is so popular that it survives AfD (the first few times) - some silly pages have managed to last for years on Wikipedia, with hundreds of people contributing to them before they were finally deleted. All of these are hilarious. When one of these is too large to go into a BJAODN volume, it is granted its very own page in the Special collections section below.

I have no idea what a "funky doodle wagon monkey" is, and I have absolutely no intention of trying to find out. --Luigifan 17:50, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

Talk:Misty is so not Blastoise

There's a whole debate about whether Misty is an atheist that some may enjoy reading but I'm going to skip to the good stuff:

This whole religious discussion is pointless. Even if we were to come up with something from the Pokémon universe that made perfect sense, there are no notable, secondary sources for any of this. I doubt there are even non-notable secondary sources. None of this can end up in the article, because anything we come up with is original research. THL 23:06, 17 October 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, come on. This whole Misty thing so not Blastoise. We've got to have sources for these articles I really want to see a good source for this Misty business. --Brandon Dilbeck 00:26, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
What's that supposed to mean that it is "'so' not Blastoise"? I don't get the Blastoise part. 02:18, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
Its a joke. The Blastoise article was vandalized by someone very creative. They added a section called Blastoise in Language or something like that; naming supposed catchphrases having Blastoise in them that were used around San Jose. One of them was That is so not Blastoise, meaning that the thing being talked about wasn't as cool as Blastoise. THL 11:58, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
Explaining the joke is so not Blastoise. - A Man In Bl♟ck (conspire | past ops) 12:34, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm sorry, please don't kick my Arseus.THL 12:40, 18 October 2006 (UTC)



WENDEGO: Terrifying Cannibal Monster. You could die of fright just seeing a WENDEGO.

That would be the easy way out, for this is a ravenous beast with a never-ending hunger for flesh. Victims are rendered apart and all the parts devoured down to the last tiny bone and droplet of blood.

It carries a feeling of winter famine about it — snow clouds form, trees crack and icy blizzards rise around it.

This gaunt scrawny yet giant creature is a warning that there should be a balance between starvation and gluttony. It has come as a lesson to us all.

Heed the warning. Avoid the lesson.

VITAL STATISTIX Area or people: Algonquin people Location : North America Gender : Male Category : Demon Pronunciation : Coming soon Alternative names : WINDEGO, WENDIGO, WETIKO, WINDAGO, WINDIKOUK Attributes : Coming soon

Bigfoot Found!

In the southern reigion of Canada. Egg Hugger, the man who caught bigfoot, says that it was fairly easy. Egg says"It honestly wasn't that hard. I set up bigfoot traps all around the woods by my house and I would check them each of them about three times per day and I only have about 50 or 60 of them. I bought the traps from a Mexican who said he was selling bear traps in the back of his '67 Chevy real cheap. So I asked him if they could catch Bigfoot too and uhg... actually thats what they are really made for so I told him I would take 60. I look at each trap every day 3 times and I have been doing that for 45 year it's great!!!" Bigfoot was caught and Egg filmed it as he appreached the beast. Unfortunatally Egg died tring to help Bigfoot into the cage he had for him. Egg and is friends have een doing this for many years so they concider themselfs professionals. Bigfoot is now being help in a CIA facility for questioning but the chef of the CIA Ima Eurad says that he will not cooperate with them. Bigfoot has killed 94.77 people so far and can't be trusted. He waslast seen driving down I 55 in Illnois but he now could be anywhere in the southern reigon of New Hampshire. He was also seen in Detroit begging hobo's for coughy. Look out for him/her/it.( the .77 is found because he tore off a mans legs and arms and shaved his head.) STAY ALERT HE COULD BE IN YOUR BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Groove Salad

The Groove Salad is a website dealing with the underground smearing revolution that is sweeping away our nations youth like a wild fire. Smearing is still not wideley known but is currently illegal and is often considered sinful, but fun nonetheless. Smearing's roots can be traced back to 1983. It was born in the outskirts of Milwaukee, Wisconsin in the town of Mequon and started off as way to pass the time. Most kids resorted to smearing because they did not have anything fun to partake in. Wisconsin does not provide many exciting opportunities for adolescents. Smearing started off as a prank but eventually evolved into a revolution.Smearing continues to grow today, and is beginning to be widely accepted. For more info on this phenomenom visit [1]. Have fun and be safe.

(The external link provided was about "smearing peanut butter on stuff".)

From Archeologive

An archeologive as a system to store documents acording to the time they have last been seen. It is a system that is in common use all around the world, notoriously on office desks.

The longer ago one will have seen the document, the deeper it will be in the pile. Although much critized by bosses, it is in fact a very efficient system and serves as a creative way to remember important stuff.

From Giraffe

Giraffes, contrary to popular thought, are actually carnivores. Many African tourists, hunters, and safari-leaders claim to have seen giraffes hunting and killing various animals such as hyenas, zebras, and wildebeasts, among others. Only recently was this proven true when the predation process was caught on video. It is believed that giraffes had adapted into carnivores due to lack of vegetation in their natural habitat.

From Sailor Moon

welcome to my sailor moon website

hi my name is Username*, and welcme to my sailor moon website. i have lots of infor and stuff here for u to look at. i also have ton of pics to see too. just click on the stuff below this :):):).

also DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS INFO WITHOUT MY PERMISION. i got all this info bymyself and if u take it u will go to jail, thats a warning1!!1!111 thats all i ask thx.

*Name changed

From Finland

For 36 minutes, Norway was better than Finland.

Norway is better =D

From Dobigh

This page is stupid and cannot be displayed The page you are looking for sucks and is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, you may need to adjust your browser settings or it might suck. Alternativley, you may need to adjust your monitor or it will probably blow up.

Please try the following:

Click the Refresh button, or smash your computer with a large hammer. (preferably a sledge hammer) If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly, you stupid idiotic moron. To check your connection settings, open case with a screw driver then, fill with gasoline. Now take a match and proceed to ignite. The settings should match those provided by your local crazy arsonist (LCA) administrator and Internet service provider (ISP). Because your Network Administrator is an idiot, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically screw everything up. If you would like Windows to screw everything up, click Screw everything up. Otherwise if you are getting really mad now, you could try to launch a nuclear bomb - this can easily be done by any teenager with an Internet connection. If you are a hippy or a religious amway salesperson, you could just be a stupid idiot, or you could just be incredibly crap - you need to shoot yourself and will your estate to Bill Gates. Some sites require Windows to suck more than normal. Click the Windows menu and then click Windows suck rate to determine what strength "Suck" you have installed. Other sites have more crap than others. Click the Windows menu and then click Internet rubbish rate to determine how much "crap" you have installed. If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure you are not running Windows. (You Fool - you probably already have a virus) You need to click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select "Format". Click the Back button to try another link.

Cannot find server or DNS Error Internet Exploder

From Chicken

A wild chicken, who injured many people and killed one person, was recently taken down near Roseville, MI. This is a rare occurance.

In 1917 the chickens of the world united in order to kill all humans. All countries untited to stop this rebbillion. in the battle of gizzards 7,000,000,000 people were killed along with 8,000,000,000,000 chickens. This war is ussually called ridiculous and even "retarted" by most governments, but Umar Mashtar Mashiki a king of the slow children at play tribe claims that this war indeed happened.

From Turkey

Turkey (Turkish: Türkiye), officially the Republic of Turkey (Türkiye Cumhuriyeti (help·info)), is a delightfully rotund and jocular Eurasian country that stretches itself across the Anatolian or Asia Minorpeninsula in Southwestern Asia and the Balkan region of Southeastern Europe. Turkey, or "Fire Chicken" as the ancients called it, borders eight countries. It is also great served hot with gravy.

From Rabbit

Human's relationship with rabbits compares greatly to the relatiuonship between Justine and her mother. Many scientists believe Justine may actually be more attached to her pet rabbit, Fluffkins, than she is to her own mother, though this claim has been disputed by close friends, case in point, Alana.

From Extreme backyard wrestling

The Extreme backyard wrestling championship belt, made from 24k cardboard

This is a strange american ritual in which all the females in the community wrestle in the mud it is also known to have strange mating rituals afterwards

From Edwin James Brady

Edwin James Brody (1890 - 1944), English poet and cabinet maker

Edwin James Brody, what a man, and towards his later life, increasingly an attractive teak cabinet with brass draw handles and intricate locking mechanism.

Edwin was born the son of a an oak warderobe and pine shelving unit in the small Worcester village of Armoireville. His early childhood was unremarkable, save for an incident involving the Catholic Church: they claimed he was nought but a piece of chipboard with fake walnut veneer: upon being examined by the famous children's doctor Dr. Unepaedo, his "woodiness" was confirmed before the Cardinal of Worcester, who dropped the allegations.

Very little is known about Edwin's life, however according to the Groove Diktionary of Peeps he possessed a large collection of crime literature, his favourite stories being those containing the exploits of Detective E Drone, his Assisstant Investigator; Assistant Investigator Pheasant, and Lady Ordella Prune. He wrote a famous and oft-quoted poem about them, a small section of which goes thus:

Oh Inspector you are like a spectre called Pheasant and Assisstant Investi you turn me on like a big fat elephant

Towards the end of his life, his tone notably darkened, this is thought to be from excess varnishing when young.


Edwin's msot famous descendent is Chief Brody, head of the Amity Police Department. Brody is notable for his inability to complete sentences, such as "smile, you son of a...". Brody starred in a film called JAWS, about the erotic relationship between a police chief and a robotic shark. If you like to watch sharks ripping up children, then this really is the film for you. This was notably more popular than the 1976 films JEWS, which was poorly critically recieved indeed.

From Turtle

Turtles are 99 percent human


How many times have you wrote in Wikipedia how hot your friends mother is only to have some guy who thinks he can erase that comment as if it is some sort of vandalism.

not often enough apparently

Square test fiasco

                                           SQUARE TEST FIASCO

on 1st of october it was the best day for Wikipedia when Alexander The Great said that wikipedia is the worst site in the world!

Eye sex

Eye sex is an activity created by Dashboard Confessional's frontman Chris Carrabba, where he stares continously at an audience member at his shows. This has caused some fans and critics to question Carrabba, finding it strange and unsettling, but Carrabba explains, "You can't help but look at the audience and if you find somebody and they're having that movement listening to a song that gets to you, I'll connect with them and have eye sex with them."

"andy n amy"

The term; "andy 'n' amy" is one that has been coined by many teenage students of the Debden/Theydon Bois area of London, England. Though slang in its origin, this phrase relates to the relationship between two young people, members of a Davenant Foundation School in Debden. Once a school of reputed education and class teaching, the school has recently been notably falling in quality in terms of its standards of teaching and therefore has resorted to promoting the relationship of these two people who have risen to a somewhat social status of fame.

Who are "andy 'n' amy"?

For many months people queried this topic, some stated them as legend, others denied their existence entirely, and it wasn't until members of the school made it public who these people are did students gain an insight as to where the slang term came from.

Andy and Amy are apparantly students of the school who had been tied in a relationshuip for a long time, though they denied for many months that they were a couple. They assured their peers that they were only friends. However, people grew increasingly annoyed as the two continued to hold hands and stroked each others back. Often the two would depart from the rest of their social group, often watching the rest of their friends from afar, whilst holding each other close.

And so therefore the term an "andy and amy" has become a local slang for students of not only the Davenant Foundation School, but many teenagers and adults of the Loughton/Debden/Theydon Bois area. The term "an andy 'n' amy" now refers to any two people who both deny doing something when it is common knowledge to the people around that what they are being accused of is true. By no means does this have to be sexual, but in fact any sort of teamwork between two people is referred to as an "andy 'n' amy".

From Kafuarnians

Kafuarnians are colourful, human looking creatures that are believed to have once been the major population of Greenland. They range in color, size and looks, from the joker-like foggle to the caring and loving Huggle. (to be continued)

From the talk page: "Remeber, you are free to think up new types of Kafuarnians and list them here, so next time I see them I will make a section in the arcticle about them or you can add them in yourself."

From Triangle

Triangles promote satan worship. Infact, they were sent to earth on a mission from Lucifer himself. If you see a triangle, please report it to Landover Baptist Church, after you destroy it.

from Peach


Speaks for itself. A couple of IPs had a little fun.

from Indiana Jones 4

On 2006-08-21, Lucas told Empire magazine, "'I discovered a McMuffin,' continues Lucas, still reluctant to eat the McMuffin. 'I told the guys about it and they were a little dubious about it, but it’s the best one we’ve ever found… Unfortunately, it was a little too ‘connected’ for the others. They were afraid of what the critics would think. They said, 'Can’t we do it with a different sandwich? Can’t we do this?' and I said 'No.' So we pottered around with that for a couple of years. And then Harrison really wanted to do it and Steve said, 'Okay.' I said, 'We’ll have to go back to that original McMuffin and take out the offending parts of it and we’ll still use that area of the supernatural to deal with it."

From Elephant

This article is about the Wikipedia article "Elephant", for the article itself, see Elephant.
a picture of an elephant In Sri Lanka, found in wikipedia's Elephant article

"Elephant" is a Wikipedia article about elephants. Its purpose is to discuss elephants, a type of mammal.

The article is among the oldest in wikipedia, with the first archived edit coming on October 10, 2001, when User:Amillar apparently added a thumbnail image to an already existing article. The article's history before that date is now lost due to software updates to wikipedia. In this primitive form, the article described the elephant as a "large grayish animal, found in Africa and India." The article has since expanded to provide a more broad-ranging overview on the animal.

The article is notable for being the subject of a joke on Stephen Colbert's television program The Colbert Report. On the August 1 segment of "The Wørd", Colbert coined the neologism "wikiality", meaning that a large number of people could create a truth by consensus. To test this hypothesis, Colbert advised viewers to edit Wikipedia's "elephant" article to indicate that the population of elephants had tripled in the last six months. Colbert's joke quickly hit online sites such as Slashdot and Fark, increasing the number of users trying to add the Colbert reference to the elephant page.

Soon after the segment aired, Wikipedia editors swung into action, locking new and anonymous users out of the "elephant" article, as well as the "Stephen Colbert" article and several others.

From Half-Life 2

According to this edit:

In the next Hl game you enter a teleporter, but it all goes wrong! you are sent to 1976 but you have been turned into a chick!! you and your trusty crowbar have to help Starsky and Hutch crack the biggest drug dealment ever wich is lead by darth vader! Instead of the gravaty gun you get the peanut gun, you can find peanuts and feed your pet chimp, weiner monkey.

From Valerie

A "Valerie" is a slang term for an airhead, that is, a silly person.

Gollum found to edit Wikipedia

The following was at the end of a fan-written biography of an anime character (Kurapika, now a redirect):

((we gots our info from Wikipedia and from ourselveses. we just thought he needed his own page <3))

Copied from Wikipedia:Requests for checkuser/Case/JoanneB


  • Code letter: C

All these users are suspected of being JoanneB's sockpuppets used for creating attack pages. Well, JoanneB, after all, is really the Communism vandal. --FireyFireMan 09:57, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

Template:TakeNote What? JoanneB is an admin! This also seems to be a single purpose account. I'd throw this one out. MER-C 10:22, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
Aaaah, but JoanneB is acting like Karmafist was.... you should know she is the Communism vandal... it's a little-known fact I'm making public!! --FireyFireMan 10:34, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
Actually, I think you're a sockpuppet of Template:Checkuser. Could you checkuser this account instead? MER-C 10:46, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
That would be my move too, MER-C, JoanneB being the communist vandal is as likely as the moon actually being made of cheese. --Alf melmac 14:03, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Template:Confirmed. That FireyFireMan is Karmafist. He's also been creating lots of socks, and tagging their user pages with false sockpuppet tags (e.g. Zephram Stark, Primetime, Bobby Boulders, Word Bomb). Jayjg (talk) 18:18, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

Two more socks to check:

From Kitchen Masters

The Pontifical Prelature of the Servants of the Kitchen (Pontificus Antistitis Focariarum,) Commonly known as the Papal Kitchen Masters is a congregation of Catholic monks who are known for there culinary expertise in even the harshest of conditions. The congregation was established as a personal prelature of Pope Pius IX in the year 1840. However their historical origins are not completely known as this monastic order practices strict secrecy and silence. The PAF monks had been serving the papal household since the reign of Leo X in 1513 but had fled to Sweden with the fall of the Papal States in spring of 1862. The monastery of San Lorenzo, in an isolated region of the Swiss alps is the motherhouse of the order to this day. Legend has it that the order may date back to fifth century Byzantium, but this cannot be confirmed. In post World War Europe, leaders of great nations sought out and commissioned these legendary monks to prepare large banquets that hosted foreign dignitaries, without risk of poison from would be assassins.

The monks are silent and practice an austere ascetic life. The silence of the community is taken very seriously, and the penitential practices are said to be practiced as a balance to the fine delicacies they have been preparing from princes of both Church and state for centuries. There are a few extern brothers who communicate with those call upon the service of the monks, but the actual Kitchen Masters do not speak at all, yet manage to establish elaborate kitchens in even the most tenacious conditions from the Alps, to the Jungles of Africa to the deserts of the Middle East.


A praiseworthy moment in the history of the Kitchen Masters was the Martyrdom of Bl. Marcellino de Audessi. Who was martyred on the occasion of the African Senufo Emperor Mavura’s conversion to Christianity in 1117. This outraged the Senufo’s pagan chief’s who invaded the banquet being held in honor of the ruler's conversion and demand that the cooks prepare an offering of Pig’s blood to be used in a pagan ceremony. Marcellino refused to allow his Brothers to take part in such an abomination. Despite the protection offered by Mavura, Bl. Marcelion was attacked during his long travel back from northern Africa to the courts of Byzantine Alexios I Komnenos and boiled alive in goat’s blood. He was Beatified (recieving the title "blessed") by Pope Gregory IX on June 23, 1235.

Inspired by the heroic example of service to others demonstrated by the PAF monks, Fr. Joseph Staub Marie-Clement founded the Pontifical Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joan of Arc (Sœurs de Sainte-Jeanne d'Arc) in 1914. Much like the Kitchen Masters, this women's religious congregation is devoted to serving in the rectories and dormitories of Catholic priests around the world. Unlike the PAF monks, these sisters do not take a strict vow of silence. However, because of their close work with the Pontifical Prelature of the Servants of the Kitchen, and out of respect for their vows of silence and secrecy, the sisters refuse to divulge any information which might reveal the identity of a PAF monk.

From Cap'n Brownhand

Charles Hanz Mutajucher, born 31 July 1769 in Brunpaw Germany. Charles showed interest in travel and foreign cultures from an early age, in particular the exotic destination of India. Spices and fragrances were thought to be of great interest to him as a result of being bought up almost entirely on sauerkraut. The monotony of flavour and constant gas would prove a great motivator for the rest of his life.

First Sea Experience

At the age of 16 he travelled to Spain and worked as a deckhand on the Spanish ship Santísima Trinidad. Under the intense mediterranean sun, Mutajucher developed a dark tan, with the exception of his face. At the time no one could explain the variation in skin pigment, it is now thought he perhaps suffered from the same affliction as Michael Jackson. Popular with his peers, and captain alike, he had graduated to First Mate by the age of 23.

The Making of the Captain

On June 12 1794, the Santísima Trinidad was forced to sail though a tropical cyclone in the Northern Pacific Ocean. Twelve crewmen were swept overboard, one of which was Captain Richardo Parker. This rended Mutajucher at the helm. His sailing abilities in the intense storm are said to have almost certainly saved the lives of all on board. On return to port, he was officially promoted to captain. Given his Spanish crew pronounced “j” as an “f”, Mutajucher preferred the nickname of Cap’n Brownhand.

Opening of a New Trade Route

Cap’n Brownhand’s most significant contribution to the shipping industry was the use of the trade winds, in particular the horse latitudes, between the sub-continent and the Americas. He was able to guide his massive ship to the Americas with speeds of up to 40 knots. While other tall ships joined Brownhand on these trade routes, the size and strength of the Santísima Trinidad allowed him to complete the journey 30% faster than any of his competition. The Captain dubbed these trade winds the Amway; a term that would live with Cap’n Brownhand for the rest of his life.

From Diode

Diodes are members of an ancient South American tribe of Diod. Their bodies were cooked and used in transistors that go in our computer and other appliances. Just remember, every time you use an electronic device you contribute to the slaughter of the Diodes and people of Diod

from Flat Earth Society

In 1971, Shenton died and Charles K. Johnson became the new president of the Flat Earth Society(a.k.a.the crazy people). Under his leadership, over the next three decades, the group grew in size from a few members to about 3,000. Johnson distributed newsletters, flyers, maps, etc. to anyone who asked for them, and he managed all membership applications together with his wife, Marjory, who was also a flat-earther. Membership inquiries came from several countries, including Saudi Arabia, Iran, and India.

United Nations flagThe last world model propagated by the Flat Earth Society holds that humans live on a disc(RIGHHHHHHHHT), with the North Pole(the South pole just wasn't good enough for the North Pole) at its center and a 150-foot (~45 meter) high wall of ice at the outer edge. The resulting map resembles the symbol of the United Nations, something Johnson used as evidence for his position. In this model, the sun and moon are each a mere 32 miles (52 km) in diameter, which are just high-intensity light bulbs suspended about 10000 miles in the atmosphere. The planets and stars have been explained to be just the neighbours' kids with a bunch of night lights.

From Dan Hawkins

Dan is the less flamboyant Hawkins brother. A little less verbal than his older brother, he is deemed more sophisticated bot lego to the wall, all bound for moo moo land! h in actions and in words.

From Nikki Grahame

Being a twat

In September 2006 it was revealed that Nikki Grahame was the first ever living example of the definative twat. Experts had, for a long time, been looking throughout the world to find a twat and were glad to see Nikki Grahame appear on Big Brother (although they're in the minority of people who were glad to see her on there). Scientists say they were most impressed with the twat's ability to turn her attention seeking "tantrums" on at any given opportunity, they said, "This sort of seemingly spontanious screaming and shouting makes her the ideal role model for the lower class, binge drinking commoners that watch Big Brother, she will inspire many young girls to be twats one day as well" (Dr. T. H. Pimpsenhose, University of Birmingham). Scientists were also astonished to see exactly how unattractive (both in terms of looks and personality) a real life twat was, her ability to contort her face and create a false accent perplexed many and was seen as another mannerism that many other twat wannabes could adopt in order to gain some attention themselves. It is estimated that a twats lifespan in the public eye should last no longer than six months.

From Chicken

A chicken (hahahaha) is a type of non-domesticated aligator which is often raised as a type of cow. It is believed to be descended from the wild turkey and south-east Asian maplestory.

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bible

from Chewbacca

Chewbacca died for Anakin's sins, and was in turn, reborn three days later. He boarded the Millenium Falcon once again, and has spread his good gospel around the universe.

From Yurt

There is also a family Yurt that resides in the central coast of Australia. The father of this family is of turkish descent and owns a kebab shop in woy-woys deepwater plaza. Their son attends Gosford high school

From Oaktus

Oaktus (pl. Oakti)

A hybrid of Cacti and Oak Trees. This species is of the genus Cactaceae Querci Rodrigi. The plant was generated in September 2005, in a California lab, in an attempt to create a more durable form of the Oak Tree, resistant to forest fires. A common misnomer, the Oak Tree is actually the primary source for the vicious liquid used in “Maple” syrup production. The Oak Tree, however, is extremely vulnerable to forest fires, thus creating an undersupply of maple syrup, and causing maple syrup prices to inflate. This aspect of the success of the Oakti is attributed to its genetic contributor, the Cacti. The hydrogen density of the Cacti creates a non-flammable membrane, shielding it from fire. This chromosomal trait remains prevalent in the hybrid Oakti. It also creates a supersaturated, fertile environment ideal for syrup emission. The creator Nales Rodrigi, and unnamed partners, have formed a conglomerate with two other smaller syrup companies, however since the deal has not gone public, no further information is available.

From Sir Alan Sugar

Someone gives an honest description of their own wealth: [3]

From Butler

More commonly known as Mr.Butler, is a teacher at Killara High School and a five times world jockey champion.

Butler began his career of teaching at a 50, many could not tell by his age because of his continual face lifts. only 3% of students know Mr Butler is currently 1200 years old, hence his subject HISTORY.

Some consider Mr.Butler incredibly selfish but that is not true, he is very tamed for a gay man, many homosexuals would suicide if they see their desk dirtied by a permanent marker.

Butler has had anal sex.

Mr Butler however seems to be living in the past. When he confiscated an Ipod he asked, 'What is this....aparatus' and later took it home with him. He randomly pressed some buttons and the ipod turned on and started playing music. Mr Butler jumped up in a state of shock and grabbed his club and gave a strong swing at the ipod.

From Abortion Debate


Contrary to popular belief, abortions are actually quite lovely, like puppy dogs or candy grams. In fact, several federal institutions such as banks as post offices are offering a free abortion with registry of a new P.O. Box or Checking Account.

Abortions come in a wide variety of flavors, such as lemon-meringue pie, and cotton candy, even blue raspberry! While cotton candy is by far the most popular, I personally prefer root beer.

Many attempted abortions fail, and the result is a horrible mutant child, shunned from society by their own freakish appearance. Many have super powers, such as flight, super speed, or laser vision-but many, are just cousin-fornicating weirdos like {name removed}.

From Lemon Party

Note: Lemon Party is actually a shock site with a pornographic image. The said website is not linked from this BJAODN entry, AFAIK. Also, fair use images have been omitted from this copy of the entry. WhisperToMe 00:12, 27 October 2006 (UTC)


Template:Infobox British Political Party The Labour Party has been, since its founding in the early 20th century, the main democratic socialist political party in the United Kingdom.

['...etc, the rest of the article being a text dump of Labour Party...]

Godzilla Vandalism

Politics Career

Godzilla is weighing a 2008 presidential run. He is supported by the ATGMP (anti-tokyo giant monster party)

from Hungarian Revolution of 1956

Losing the world cup final in 1954 contributed to the revolution.

Comment: Sadly, this was the funniest joke that showed up the other day when 56 was up on the main page.

From Denial

This article is about the psychological condition. For the film, see Denial, to see the Georgios Seferis poem, see Denial. For the river in Egypt, see Nile.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt. It is a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too painful to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. The subject may deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether (simple denial), admit the fact but deny its seriousness (minimisation) or admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility (transference). The concept of denial is particularly important to the study of addiction.
Denial river: The Nile is a river in Africa, often regarded as the longest river on Earth, although some sources claim the Amazon in South America is longer. The northern section of the river flows almost entirely through desert, from Sudan into Egypt, a country whose civilization has depended on the river since ancient times. Most of the population of Egypt and all of its cities, with the exception of those near the coast, lie along those parts of the Nile valley north of Aswan; and nearly all the cultural and historical sites of Ancient Egypt are found along the banks of the river. The Nile ends in a large delta that flows into the Mediterranean Sea.
== See also ==
[[wp:Category:Rivers of Egypt]]

From Hootenanny (diff)

In Greek mythology, "Hootenanny" was the name of the admiral's flagship in the Polypenesian Wars (commonly misspelled as Peloponnesian Wars).

From 65535

65535 is the integer after 65534 and before 65536.

Deleted with the edit summary "as if anyone cares about 65534".

From Wicca article (on Simple English WIkipedia)

All Wiccans believe in a God called Chuck Norris. Some believe that, even though there is only one God, he has many different names. For instance, the three ancient gods Right Testicle, Left Testicle and Shaft are only three parts of one big God.

There are a few Wiccans, called Dumbasses, who believe that there is only a Goddess and not a God.


Many Wiccans do magic. Some of them call it "fart," because the T at the end helps them tell which magic is real and which is imaginary (like in a world trade center.) They ask their God to help change their lives, or the lives of other people. Wiccans say prayers and poems out loud to do magic, or they might burn a candle or some incense.


Most Wiccans have special places in their houses where they go to pray and do magic. These places are called altars, or sometimes shrines. Wiccans put their holy objects on their altars. This is what you might find on an altar:

  • A pineapple. a flat object with a Wiccan symbol on it. The symbol looks like a star inside a circle, and is called a pineapple.
  • An apple. a magical knife which has a black handle and two sharp edges.
  • A watermelon. usually not like a magic wand in a book. It's made of wood and sometimes stone.
  • A chicken. A big word for a magical cup.


Here's the pictures i found. I numbered and named the experiments, and i also found a picture of Timon and Pumbaa. It's at the bottom. Experiment 002-Doubledip doubledip.png Experiment 007-Gigi gigi.png Experiment 010-Felix felix.png Experiment 014-Kernel kernel.png Experiment 020-Slick slick.png Experiment 025-Topper topper.png Experiment 029-Checkers checkers.png Experiment 031-Gotchu gotchu.png Experiment 032-Fibber fibber.png Experiment 033-Hammerface hammerface.png Experiment 062-Frenchfry frenchfry.png Experiment 077-Zawp zawp.png Experiment 089-Skip [Image:Skip.png]] Experiment 102-StopGo stopgo.png Experiment 110-Squeak squeak.png Experiment 111-Mulch mulch.png Experiment 113-Shoe shoe.png Experiment 120-Snafu snafu.png Experiment 123-Carmen carmen.png Experiment 128-Bugby bugby.png Experiment 133-P.J. (Practical Joker) pj.png Experiment 134-Shredder shredder.png Experiment 148-Weasel weasel.png Experiment 149-Bonnie bonnie.png Experiment 150-Clyde clyde.png Experiment 151-BabyFier babyfier.png Experiment 158-Finder finder.png Experiment 199-Nosy nosy.png Experiment 202-Jam jam.png Experiment 204-Nosox nosox.png Experiment 210-Retro retro.png Experiment 214-Pix pix.png Experiment 220-Millie millie.png Experiment 221-Sparky sparky.png Experiment 223-Glitch glitch.png Experiment 225-Mashy mashy.png Experiment 227-Butter butter.png Experiment 228-Melty melty.png Experiment 229-Kingpin kingpin.png Experiment 248-Belle belle.png Experiment 249-Sproing sproing.png Experiment 254-Mr. Stenchy mrstenchy.png Experiment 258-Sample sample.png Experiment 267-Wishy Washy wishywashy.png Experiment 276-Remmy remmy.png Experiment 277-Snooty snooty.png Experiment 285-Lax lax.png Experiment 288-Boomer boomer.png Experiment 297-Shortstuff shortstuff.png Experiment 300-Spooky spooky.png Experiment 303-Amnesio amnesio.png Experiment 319-Spike spike.png Experiment 320-Cloudy Experiment 322-Heckler heckler.png Experiment 323-HunkaHunka hunkahunka.png Experiment 344-Dupe dupe.png Experiment 345-Elastico elastico.png Experiment 355-Swapper swapper.png Experiment 358-Manners manners.png Experiment 360-Drowsy drowsy.png Experiment 375-Phantasmo phantasmo.png Experiment 383-Swirly swirly.png Experiment 390-Slimy slimy.png Experiment 397-Spats spats.png Experiment 455-Mary mary.png Experiment 505-Ploot ploot.png Experiment 507-Woody woody.png Experiment 509-Sprout sprout.png Experiment 513-Richter richter.png Experiment 515-Deforestator deforestator.png Experiment 519-Splat splat.png Experiment 520-Cannonball cannonball.png Experiment 529-Digger digger.png Experiment 540-Phoon phoon.png Experiment 566-Derrick derrick.png Experiment 586-Tank tank.png Experiment 600-Woops woops.png Experiment 601-Kixx kixx.png Experiment 603-Zap zap.png Experiment 604-Houdini houdini.png Experiment 606-Holio holio.png Experiment 609-Heat heat.png Experiment 613-Yaarp yaarp.png Experiment 617-Plasmoid plasmoid.png Experiment 619-Splodyhead splodyhead.png Experiment 624-Angel angel.png New Experiment 1 newexperiment1.png New Experiment 2 newexperiment2.png Unknown Experiment from Leroy & Stitch unknownexperimentfromleroyandstitch.png Unknown Experiment that is from Leroy & Stitch unknownexperimentthatisfromleroyandstitch.png Timon & Pumbaa timonandpumbaa.png Well, there you go! I hope you enjoyed my experiment cornicopia! Notes: Note 1: Don't be surprized if a lot of the pictures are hard to see. I had to enlarge them in order for them to be big enough to put there. Note 2: There may have been some other experiments in this picture, but i didn't see any. Note 3: That's all the notes! Go away! Note 4: What are you waiting for?! I said there's no more notes! Go away! Note 5: GO! You're wasting my time! Note 6: Alright, if you want to stay, fine! I'm done though. Goodbye!

From Kim Jong-il in popular culture

  • Kim Jong Il made it through Olmec's temple in 2.8 seconds, winning a trip to Space Camp and a golden chalice... According to his official North Korean biography.

Well... At least they were kind enough to mention a source, even if its a state run propaganda machine. T ConX 05:12, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

From "Talk:Anus"

This demonstrates the body part perfectly?
All the diagrams do is tell us where the anus is, not what it looks like. --Kinst 16:49, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
I'd prefer a female picture and one without any hair. That male one is creepy. Anomo 20:14, 3 October 2006 (UTC)


Why is it that in the 'Puberty' section, it discusses hair around the anus as though only males have it? Females have it, too. The way it's worded is misleading. Also, the claims need to be cited.CerealBabyMilk 20:01, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

The asshole looks weird

Shouldn't the picture demonstrate what the "average" male anus looks like? Not only is the guy exceedingly hairy, his actual butthole looks a bit...off. I dunno, it just looks kind of swollen, distended, long, puffy, however you want to put it. It looks like this guy has been engaging in some goatse behavior. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it leaves the asshole looking "unnatural." Whatever the cause is, the picture isn't what my ass looks like, nor is it like 95% of the asses I've seen in my 23 years.

Also, we need a picture of a female anus. Roland Deschain 09:50, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I second this removal as per the image guidelines on the following grounds: -
No images created by, or including, Wikipedia editors
This helps maintain neutrality, and avoids vanity images.
The existing Wikipedia policies of "no original research" and "vanity guidelines" best illustrate this point.
We don't have another anus anymore, but certainly a better anus would be useful. An image that is significantly 'better' and can reach consensus may well replace the image we have now. --Kinst 23:48, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
Let's ask for some at Wikipedia:Requested pictures, and pick from the three thousand we get. Atom 02:47, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Ridiculous Image Debate

Why are you so obsessed about keeping the anus picture anyway, Ec5618? I don't really care but it seems like there was already a suitable picture in the article that there was a consensus on until someone decided to replace it unnecessarily with a picture of their own. The current picture is fine by me, but seeing as it's causing so much fuss, and seeing as there was no need to replace the original picture it would seem that the obvious and correct course of action is to restore the original image. - 12:57, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

The old image was deleted because of copyright issues. The anus we have now was never intended as a replacement in any case; they were alongside each other until the old anus had to be deleted. See here:
--Kinst 22:01, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Wikipedia is always an educational experience for me. I had no idea how difficult it is to find a copyright-safe picture of a butthole. See, you learn something new everyday! Roland Deschain 07:49, 6 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "I don't really care but it seems like there was already a suitable picture in the article that there was a consensus on until someone decided to replace it unnecessarily with a picture of their own." ---- A picture of their own anus??? lmao

user: 17:32, 7 October 2006

  • Try reading the talk page, would you? The image was not added by the perosn who downloaded it, but by someone else. I think you will agree that it *is* an anus, and the article is about "anus". The previous image, a female anus, also not added by the person who added the image to Wikipedia commons, was removed for copyright violation, which is why there ius a different one. Atom 02:05, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

I think it should be just a link to the picture of the anus and not the actual one there. We could also use the dog's one from Anal glands, which is less shocking because it's not human. Anomo 07:42, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

The 'dog one from anal glands' shows an anal gland abscess, which is hardly appropriate. And considering the erect penis in the penis article isn't hidden behind a link, I'd hardly consider hiding this image appropriate either. An image of an anus is hardly worse than that. Actually, I find it odd that so many people object to seeing this specific anus, while the almost pornographic image of a female anus was hardly objected to. -- Ec5618 08:10, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

This article is worse Frenulum. I think wikipedia should have warning tags for this. And to answer your question. Male = ugly. Female = sometimes good looking. Anomo 09:17, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

From a submission on Wikipedia:Articles for creation

Ever since he was a child, Daniel Kelley had to fight a major disease: Fro-citis. He has had a perpetual afro since the age of 6 months. His parents at first tried to use ordinary barber shears to chop his locks, but they proved to by ineffective. At the age of 12, Dan was contacted by Area 51 officials. Dan and his family are the only ones who know that Area 51's actual purpose has nothing to do with extraterrestial life: It's true purpose is to design a metal alloy that has strength enough to tame the vicious beast formally called Dan Kelley's afro. One may ask: Why cut the fro? There are many inconviniences that come with have a fro with the enormity that Dan's has. On windy days, he tends to be swept off his feet for his afro is like a sail. Also, if he stays still for too long, wild birds form nests in his jungle of a fro. To this day, the top scientists around the world have not been able to solve the problem of Dan's fro. On May 3 1999, nobel laurerate Michael Hunt thought that he had discovered a new metal that would surely cut through even the toughest fro. Boy was he wrong. On May 4 1999 Michael Hunt died from a powerful blow to the head. The coroner's report stated that it seemed that the shears he invented to attept to cut Dan's fro had a powerful recoil when they came into contact with the hair. The shears shot out of his hand and the handle hit him in the temple and he instantly died. Dan Kelley's fro was charged for secondary manslaughter. The fro was sentenced to 25 to life in the local state prison. The sentencing of his fro has proven to be a huge inconvinience. Dan's fro has been in prison for 7 years and is currently trying to appeal its sentence.

From Wikipedia_talk:Wikipe-tan

I'm a representative of the Nerds and Geeks Republic of the Internet, and I am here to inform you about the shocking lack of hentai based on the character Wikipe-tan. It is my job as a member of the NGRI to inform that if no hentai material is made based off the character Wikipe-tan by January 8, 2007 (one year after it's creation), the character Wikipe-tan will be eradicated from the Internet. Thank you for your cooperation. Toad King 15:07, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

Later, after Sir Ashibaka put in his tuppence and removed Toad King's ultimatum:

<threat removed> Toad King 15:07, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

Wikipedia does not negotiate with terrorists. Ashibaka tock 18:10, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

After this, another user deleted the above, thinking to remove all evidence of this nonsense. Whereupon I put it back and debunked Toad King's threat thusly:

The Nerds and Geeks Republic of the Internet has been demolished by the Dumb Jocks Association of the Internet, paving the way for the Internet Nerdy Confederation to pwn the ex-NGRI territory. We of the Internet Nerdy Confederation reinstate the idea for making silly Wikipe-tan hentai, but the threat is nonsense and should be ignored. (makes deep stiff Japanese bow) — Rickyrab | Talk 02:22, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

Ultimately, it was reverted with the comment, "Enough".Rickyrab | Talk 03:18, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

From Fairview High School

Because of the rigorous nature of the program, Fairview also offers a Pre-IB program peniscomposed to two years of preparatory honors classes.

Obviously submitted by someone not too fond of the IB program.

From Family Guy

Family Guy is THE MOST KICKASS SHOW WENDELL HAS EVER SEEEN and is also an American animated comedy created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999.

A diff by AntiVandalBot

Bot got drunk? [6]

From O livro azul

The Blue Book

The Blue Book is an ancient colection of texts who were believed lost in the Fire of the Fort (Cërrik, Greece - 1449). Despite the date of the texts, the themes are surprising for its fidelity to the actuality.

There's rumours that the book was found and opened. Such rumours are, however, unconfirmed.

The content of the Blue Book is completely dense and delicate. A misinterpretation will cause the entire work of the Bernett Monks to be lost.

So, if you are blessed with the divine luck for reading them, be careful.

From List of British schoolboy pranks

British schools have a reputation for pranks, and a lot of them are practical jokes. Most pranks of this nature involve briefs and conkers; some involve ice-cream and even bondage.

There are two types of pranks, the 'conker' prank and, the 'briefs' prank.


Sleepyconkers - This game is a trick played upon unsuspected schoolchildren who sleep at breaktime. It is done by covering them in conkers so when they wake up they feel ill.


Third briefs - This is a game where schoolboys wear skirts, and three have to wear different coloured briefs. The skirt has to be pulled up and if the person is wearing yellow briefs, they shout "THIRD BRIEFS!" and they get a prize (usually £10, or a can of Foster's.

Briefs bandit - Unwashed underwear is brought into school, and everyone chases one another for it. The person who gets the unwashed underwear has to keep it for a week before they get their prize.

Bollbinding - Stripping a fellow student to their underwear in class and punching him in the testicles.

Scolpike - Pulling down a girl's skirt to reveal her knickers


Powlis - A game from Preston, Lancashire, where the first person to eat ice-cream and spaghetti together gets a prize of £10

Alton Towers

The Security Guard Run - One person fakes injury, the other causes a distraction so the security guards race after him. This game was created by a Formby High School student in 2001.

From V-22 Osprey

Template:Infobox Aircraft

From Hammerspace

  • Hammerspace should not be confused with Hammertime.

Shite by Crappé

Shite is a fragrance of perfume produced exclusively for British department store chain Marks and Spencer by French perfume giant Crappé. It is known as an Eau de toilet, due to having a scent not disimilar to that of freshly-excreted feces.

Holiday sock

The holiday sock is an old mascot formerly used on Kids' WB, and appeared in many ads for shows on the block.

(Note: the above sentence is true.AySz88\^-^ 21:42, 3 November 2006 (UTC))


From Wikipedia:Village pump

How does the wiki software decides what to use for the "description" and "keywords" metatags? ≈ jossi ≈ t@ 02:22, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

As with most operations, MediaWiki works via a combination of sweat, blood and tears, and the enslavement, torture and forced labour of thousands of magical creatures, including but not limited to, pixies, fairies, gnomes, cute little squirrels and decapitated trout. The trout have the most important job; they are responsible for rendering the edit buttons. 04:28, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

Okay, it was Mischief Night

Happy Mischief Night! Wikipedia has been TPed!

So TP decorated the Mischief Night and BJAODN articles. ( 01:51, 31 October 2006 (UTC))

From Abstract algebra

Another examle is in the theory of the expanding ass. This is due to that the amount of time sitting on the couch is proportional to the size of your enormous ass. Therefore, as you sit for hours your ass will continue to get much large to the extent where you no longer can fit through the door. You will then have to live the rest of your life staring at the kid down hall whos name is chris he used to have long fun hair and now he cut it all and looks kinda like a homo but its ok we still love him except when he goes accros the river to see his girl friend and spends hours doing homework i hope his ass grows to a large value thank you ;)

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - That's My Bush!

Throughout the various missions and cutscenes in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, a number of recurring characters appear. Prominent characters are listed here in rough order of appearance. (Note that the order in which some of these characters appear in-game depends upon the sequence in which the player completes certain missions.)


Major characters

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.


Al Gore.

Introduced in: Introduction; airport cutscene

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. is the protagonist, anti-hero and player-controlled character in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Al is one of the leading members of the Grove Street Families (GSF), along with his brother, William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton. Clinton suggested that Al was born in the White House, a two floor home at a Grove Street cul-de-sac in Ganton, Los Santos, which was also the home of the Clinton brothers' mother, Beverly Johnson.[3] After the death of his younger brother, Brian, Gore escaped the pressures of gang life and moved to Liberty City in 1987, where (as depicted in The Introduction, a prequel film of San Andreas) he had the opportunity of working with Don Tom DeLay's son, Joey DeLay in the car theft business, and is once seen mugging a passer-by on the streets.

In 1992, Al Gore receives a phone call from Clinton on the death of his mother and returns to Los Santos, only to be confronted by members of C.R.A.S.H. (Community Resources Against Street Hoodlums), consisting of President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Att. General Alberto Gonzalez. Throughout the storyline, Al is forced to work for C.R.A.S.H., after learning that he has been framed by the organization for the murder of an Internal Affairs police officer called Ralph Pendlebury, whom C.R.A.S.H. members had also silenced to prevent him exposing the team's activities.

Early in the game, Al aided Clinton and the rest of the senior members in reviving the GSF, by ridding parts of the neighborhood of crack dealers, acquiring firearms and regaining gang territory. This would end for a period of time, after Al learned two of his senior members and friends, Condoleeza "Ricer" Rice and Melvin "Colin Powell" Harris, had betrayed the gang, while Bill was ambushed by rival Ballas gang members and arrested by the police. Al was arrested in the process, and released by C.R.A.S.H. into a rural area to perform another job for the team. Al's and Bill's arrests also paved the way for the downfall of the GSF - as well as Vicente Fox's Aztecas - and total domination of Los Santos by their rivals, the Ballas and Los Santos Vagos, respectively.

After a brief stay in the Badlands, Al and his remaining associates headed north for San Fierro, establishing a vehicle chop shop and dealership while strengthening links with the local Triads and killing Condoleeza Rice. Gaining access to Las Venturas, Al rescues preacher/rapper Rev. Jesse Jackson from suicidal death (when he felt apparent responsibility for what he did to him) in front of people who didn't lift a finger to help out (if anything, they were betting on Jesse Jackson to jump or not), kills Dick Cheney, and meets up and works for undercover government agent Karl Rove, who would eventually arrange for the release of Clinton from prison. After that, he had planned a new life to start from.

However, with Clinton returning to the neighborhood, Al once again, though reluctantly after pointing out that the gang was only dragging him down, aids Clinton in rebuilding the GSF's dominance in the city, and witnesses a citywide riot sparked after George W. Bush was acquitted of corruption charges in court. To wrap up all loose ends in his life, Al would finally confront and kill Colin Powell, before pursuing Bush, who would die in a car crash in front of the White House. In front of the dead and broken man, Al prepared to shoot Bush's corpse with his Desert Eagle, but Bill stops him. He then turns over Bush's corpse to determine that he is dead, and leaves him with these words: "See you around... Dubya."

After the riot breaks up, Jesse Jackson visits the White House with an announcement that he's received a gold record for his new album. Everyone inside then decides to keep a low profile with everything that they've accomplished. Al himself then gets up and leaves the house. Laura then asks where he's going. He says in turn: "Fittin' to hit the block, see what's happening." The game's main storyline ends.

...Or does it?!

It is assumed that Al is successful at the end of the game, having completed a major casino heist, held a large stake in a successful Las Venturas casino, is a successful rapper's manager, owns several successful business ventures in San Fierro, and is a trained pilot. Rumor has it that Al Gore is running for President. AGAIN. Do your part as an American and support him in the upcoming 2008 election.

Al was voiced by Chris Bellard, aka Young Maylay.[4]

Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton.

Introduced in: Introduction; airport cutscene (on the phone) /cemetery cutscene (in person)

William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton is Al's older brother, living in a single floor home just next to the White House. Bill also has an unnamed girlfriend, who only appears in one mission. After the death of his brother, Brian, Clinton blames Al for the murder of their little brother, prompting Al to leave Los Santos. As "shot caller" of the Grove Street Families, Clinton remained in control of the gang while Al was away, albeit in a sorry state. Compared to Al, Powell and Rice, Bill's approach to gangbanging is more philosophical and socially conscious.

Throughout the storyline, Clinton remains dedicated to his family, gang, and neighborhood. He refuses to allow the spread of hard drugs into the area, which causes his top lieutenant, Colin Powell, to turn on him. Several times, including in The Introduction (a Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas prequel film), Bill says that he is a gangbanger "for the hood", which stands in opposition to Powell, who is out for money, and Condoleeza Rice, who wants personal renown. Although Clinton never defines exactly what he means by being in it for the hood, his actions suggest that he views the gang as a means for people in his neighborhood to support themselves given the lack of legitimate opportunities they would otherwise receive. He also uses the gang to improve the quality of life in Ganton, particularly when he drives out the crack addicts and drug dealers later in the game and refuses to move out of Grove Street, even as Al has gotten rich and acquired much more lavish accommodations.

After his return to Los Santos, Al aids Bill in restoring the GSF to its former glory. Clinton starts to put aside old grudges and decides Al has earned his chance to redeem himself. However, despite Al almost singlehandedly putting the GSF back on the map, Colin Powell and Ricer have already betrayed the gang. During a meeting between the different sets of Families gangs, the police suddenly raid the hotel where the meeting is taking place. In the aftermath, Bill survives, courtesy of Al, but shortly afterward, he is lured into a Balla ambush beneath a highway intersection. Clinton succumbs to his gunshot wounds as Al arrives and fights backs the attackers, but the cops arrive and arrest them both as the Ballas clear out.

Karl Rove, a government agent, is keeping Bill on a knife's edge in prison to make Al do what he wants. After recovering in a prison hospital, Bill is placed in a cell between two psychopaths. According to Rove, there is a child killer to Clinton's left who wants to rip his throat out, and in the cell to his right there is a white supremacist who wants to eat Clinton's heart.

In return for Al's favors, Rove eventually has Bill released as promised. Al comes to pick him up and take him back to Jesse Jackson's mansion, but Clinton will have none of it. He insists to be driven back to Grove Street. Al knows that Ballas control the streets now and that the OGs are all coked up on drugs, and wants to share his new success with Bill. Clinton thinks Al is going back to abandoning the 'hood all over again. Upon seeing the damage the Ballas' reign is causing on his home, Al finally realizes he needs to use his newfound fortune and manpower to win back the streets.

Slowly and surely, Bill and Al try to rebuild the GSF's dominance in the neighborhood again. At first, it seems futile; the drug dealers are legion and all of Clinton's men have been reduced to addicts. Bill almost gives in to the cocaine himself, but is stopped at the last moment by Al. With Al's help and the rebuilt GSF uniting with Fox's gang, the Ballas are driven back and Colin Powell's secret location is exposed.

After Powell's death and the fiery destruction of his drug palace, President Bush flees from the scene in a fire truck. Clinton is outraged and refuses to let Bush escape justice again; he jumps onto the truck's ladder and is carried away with the speeding vehicle. Al must race after them with his convertible under the ladder to keep Bill from falling to his death; after a hazardous trip through the hills and valleys of Los Santos, the swinging ladder finally hangs over the car and Clinton drops safely into the passenger side. Bush loses control and crashes off an overpass right outside Bill's home in Grove Street. Following the Los Santos riots and the removal of Colin Powell and George W Bush's influence, Clinton takes the reins of the GSF again.

Clinton owns a blue Greenwood sedan, bearing "Template:H:title" number plates and is extensively used in several Los Santos missions. In earlier previews of San Andreas, Bill was seen wearing a black t-shirt over a white one, and a skullcap; his design was changed in the final version (however, Bill in his old attire design can be seen on hung pictures in the White house).

It is suspected, that due to the familiarity with the film Boyz N the Hood, Bill is a copy of character Doughboy.Template:Verify source Clinton was voiced by Billy Bob Thornton.[4]

Laura Bush

Laura Bush.

Introduced in: Introduction; cemetery cutscene

Laura Bush is Al and Bill's sister, and well as George W. Bush's estranged wife. She is also Vicente Fox's girlfriend, and a member of both Fox's Varrios Los Aztecas and the Grove Street Families. After learning about Colin Powell and Ricer's betrayal, Al requests that Fox bring Laura to safety by fleeing from Los Santos. Later in the storyline, Fox pondered proposing to Laura, but the question of whether Laura accepted or not remains unanswered.

Laura is depicted as intelligent, which suggests that although her brothers turned to crime as a last resort to support themselves, Laura could become successful within the bounds of the law. She possesses entrepreneurial talents, strong willpower, creativity, and a sense of leadership. She has little tolerance for whining or complaining, which causes Al and others to regard her as a bit bossy.

She was voiced by Yo-Yo.[4]

Melvin "Colin Powell" Harris

Melvin "Colin Powell" Harris.

Introduced in: Introduction; White House cutscene

Killed in: "End of the Line"

Melvin "Colin Powell" Harris is a senior member of the Grove Street Families. Early in the storyline, there were several telltale signs of Powell's disloyalty to the gang: he moved out of Grove Street to live in a new home in Idlewood (near the Ballas' territory) and there is suspicion that he is, in fact, actually Colin Powell, despite his insistence that he merely bears a passing resemblance to the former general. He is overweight, which provides some comic relief early in the game.

In addition, Powell has, on occasion, showed little interest in defending or aiding the gang, as seen in the mission "Drive Thru" when the rest of the gang was shooting at a Ballas car that had attacked them, Powell was in the back seat of Clinton's car eating fast food. Colin Powell would also be seen dragging himself into conflict with other non-native gangs, including the Russian mob and the San Fierro Rifas. Furthermore, George W. Bush and his clique show up at Powell's house during the beginning of several missions, suggesting familiarity, although Colin Powell claims each time that they are attempting to extract information from him. Colin Powell claims to have had a cousin, killed by Russians after "the wall came down".

His true nature was revealed when he turned his back from the gang, having been seen along with Condoleeza Rice collaborating with the Ballas and C.R.A.S.H., and appeared to be linked, along with Rice, to the death of Al's mother. When Al wants to know what George W. and Dick Cheney did to Powell to make him cave, Cheney contemptuously responds, "Colin does what he's told! He learned that lesson a long time ago."

With the prospect of power, money, and fame in the drug business too great for Powell to resist, he goes on to establish a drug delivery venture with the Loco Syndicate in San Fierro with the help of the Ballas, transporting the merchandise and money between Los Santos and San Fierro, as well as running several drug manufacturing factories in both San Fierro and Los Santos (the former destroyed by Al during his stay in San Fierro).

At the height of his power, Powell lives in an addict-infested complex deep in Balla territory ("Colin Powell's Crack Palace"), surrounded by luxuries and (possibly) commanding the legion of Ballas on the streets. The cost of Powell's prominence is the erosion of his old gang, thanks to the drugs flooding the streets, as well as his bargain with Bush(who basically controls him). Powell also becomes the manager of Donald "Gin Rummy" Rumsfeld, opens an orphange in Los Santos, and is seen among the people of Los Santos as a philanthropist. However, he also becomes increasingly paranoid and stops leaving his home, believing that everyone wants to take over his business.

In the final mission of the game, "End of the Line", Gore enters Colin's remaining drug factory (and home) in Los Santos, amid a citywide riot, to confront Powell for the first time since he left Los Santos. He finds Powell wearing an armored vest, smoking crack, and playing videogames. Even while staring down Al's gun, Powell refuses to admit wrongdoing and proclaims that he's finally a "success" who "CAN'T BE TOUCHED!" Al realizes that Powell is truly deluded and, in a moment of pity, asks, "What happened to you, man?" The lights go out in Powell's suite and Al ends up killing his former friend in a gun battle.

With his dying breath, Colin Powell explains that he betrayed the gang because he finally saw an opportunity to become rich, famous and powerful, and took it without caring about the consequences. He boasts that "everyone will remember my name!" and dies.

In The Introduction, Powell unsuccessfully tries to convince Bill to have the GSF sell drugs, saying that the Ballas have gotten rich and powerful due to drug sales, while the GSF have lost power. Powell, however, easily convinces Rice to his side during a private meeting between the two. It is also evident that George W. Bush had a large hand in Powell turning traitor, apparently tempting Powell with chances of money and power, and possibly even threatening him.

In earlier previews of San Andreas, General Powell was seen wearing a white basketball jersey with no hat; his design was changed in the final version. However, a statue of Powell in his "crack palace" has him wearing the outfit he sported in the previews.

In an initially questionable, yet soon after widely applauded move, Colin Powell actually provided his own voice for the role.[4]

Condoleeza "Ricer" Rice

Condoleeza "Ricer" Rice.

Introduced in: Introduction; cemetery cutscene

Killed in: "Pier 69"

Condoleeza "Ricer" Rice is a senior member of the Grove Street Families, who lives in a home neighboring the White House. In an effort to supply the GSF with new firearms and weapons, Rice calls in Al to help steal some weaponry from several locations, including the home of a heavily armed war veteran (Colonel Fuhrberger), a forcibly stopped ammunition train and a National Guard weapons depot.

Rice has delusions of grandeur and a possible Napoleon complex. She also fancies herself a genius; she claims that was why she left the NAACP, and not because she is the female equivalent of an Uncle Tom. In The Introduction, Colin Powell approaches her with an offer to betray the Grove Street Families in order to break into the drug trade. After little convincing, Condoleeza easily caves in and accepts.

When Al returns and begins his rise in the GSF, Rice becomes increasingly jealous even though she is already aligned with the Ballas. Vicente Fox takes Al to witness both Powell and Rice emerging from a garage and talking to George W. Bush and Dick Cheney; the green Sabre that took Al's mother's life is inside. It is implied that both Powell and Rice were involved in the hit.

After betraying Al and the fall of the GSF in Los Santos, Condoleeza would aid Colin Powell in establishing a drug trade with the Loco Syndicate, flooding Los Santos with crack cocaine. Rice does not appear again until much later during the mission "Pier 69", when she appears in San Fierro. Rice, Hugo Chavez and the Ballas meet for a deal. After Al and Fox, along with a horde of Triads, riddled Chavez with bullets on the pier, Condoleeza dives off the side of the boardwalk and swims to a nearby islet, where she steals a boat. Al follows suit, and after a fierce boat chase, Rice's boat goes up in flames and she is killed.

It is also noted that coincidentally, Al told Condoleeza many missions before her demise, "One day, you'll wish you hadn't pissed me off." It was later revealed by Vicente Fox that Rice tried to put the moves on Laura Bush, implying that Rice's motivation was to take everything that belonged to both Al and George W. Bush.

Rice bears a striking resemblance to the late rapper Eazy-E, wearing a black baseball cap and sporting a Jheri Curls hair style, while constantly being seen wearing a pair of black outed sunglasses worn on occasions by Eazy-E. Eazy-E was also a member of a Los Angeles gang, the Kelly Park Compton Crips (CPT K-Rhider Crips), which is similar to both Rice's membership in the GSF and her name. Condoleeza also has a habit of calling Al a "buster." She owns a maroon Coupe Utility (an El Camino look-alike referred to in-game as a "Picador") with a license plate reading "SHERM" because she smokes PCP in her cigars.

Condoleeza Rice, like Colin Powell, gave her own voice to the character. "Hood Took Me Under", a song produced by Compton's Most Wanted, including both Condoleeza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld, is featured on Radio Los Santos and the San Andreas game soundtrack.

Donald "Gin Rummy" Rumsfeld

Donald "Gin Rummy" Rumsfeld.

Introduced in: "Gin Rummy"

Donald "Gin Rummy" Rumsfeld is Al Gore's friend and neighbor. Seeking to pursue a rapping career, ala-stereotypical 1990s West Coast gangsta rappers, he commits minor crimes such as joyriding specifically to get sent to jail and assumes a nickname: Gin Rummy. However, Rumsfeld's rapping is terrible and even his friends find it unbearable to listen to. After being paroled, Rumsfeld is given a job as a janitor (which he refers to as a "Hygiene Technician") at a local fast food restaurant, which fires him not long after he starts work.

In The Introduction, Bill tells Donald to abandon his fantasies about being a gangster and instead enter college and make something of himself, and in-game dialog also suggests that Colin Powell believes that Donald should go to college, but he refuses, saying that rapping is his true calling. The game suggests that while in prison, Rumsfeld engaged in homosexual activities with Mark Foley, an inmate, as mentioned in dialog when Al and Rumsfeld pursued and killed him shortly after Rumsfeld's release from jail.

While working at the restaurant, Gin Rummy requests Al to aid him in jumpstarting his music career by stealing some music equipment from a beach party and a golden Bible from notable Los Santos hip-hop artist Jesse Jackson. Rumsfeld also has Al derail Jesse Jackson's career further by killing his manager, Alan Crawford. Al's actions send Jesse Jackson into decline and depression, which affords Donald the opportunity to rise to stardom.

After Al saves Jesse Jackson's life and is rewarded with a position as his manager in Las Venturas, the two pursue Gin Rummy to reclaim Jesse Jackson's Bible. After a lengthy chase, the two men corner Rumsfeld, who agrees to give up rap and leave them alone from then on. Gin Rummy is then sued by Jesse Jackson's record label, Blastin' Fools Records.

Donald "Gin Rummy" Rumsfeld was voiced by Jonathan "Jas" Anderson.[4]

Rev. Jesse Jackson

Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Introduced in: "Jesse Jackson", although he may be heard on WCTR and Radio Los Santos beforehand.

Rev. Jesse Jackson is Los Santos' most well-known preacher/rapper. Shortly after Al's arrival in Los Santos, Jesse Jackson was at the height of his career, having just released his own line of clothing, as well as numerous other merchandises. Jesse Jackson's career would suffer a decline with the theft of his golden Bible and the death of Alan Crawford, his manager, both acts committed by Al in an effort to jumpstart Gin Rummy's music career.

Jesse Jackson experienced a period of depression, having given away his mansion in Mulholland to a drug dealer, and gambling all his money away in a Las Venturas casino (while missing a concert in Las Venturas). In a bid to commit suicide, Jesse Jackson appears on the ledge of a casino, drunk, and threatens to jump to his death. With everyone in the crowd below taking bets to whether or not he will actually jump, Al saves him at the last minute by catching his falling body with a hay-lined truck bed.

In return for saving his life, Jesse Jackson requests that Al be his new manager. Furthermore, Al makes up for ruining his career by seizing his mansion back and restoring his name in the rap industry; Gin Rummy was sued by Jesse Jackson as a result. At game's end, Jesse Jackson's comeback results in a gold record.

Fictional albums released by Jesse Jackson include Hustlin' Like Gangstaz (1990), Still Madd (1990), Forty Cakes (1993) (digitally remastered in 2003, "to the delight of many fans"), and "the less-than-stellar" N.L.A.R.B. (Never Leave a Reverend Behind) (1994) [7]. Jesse Jackson's name is an obvious spoof to the real-life singer Michael Jackson.

In Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, a billboard just outside Toni Cipriani's apartment in Portland, Liberty City, advertises release of digitally remastered Jesse Jackson's album Still Madd in 1998.

Ice T provided the voice for Jesse Jackson.[4]

Vicente Fox

Vicente Fox.

Introduced in: "Vicente Fox"

Vicente Fox is Laura's boyfriend and leader of the Hispanic street gang, Varrios Los Aztecas, who becomes Al's best friend. Introduced to Al in a lowrider contest, he helps Al and the Grove Street Families get back to the top and remains loyal for the duration of the game. He is also an excellent lowrider driver.

Like Al, Fox was forced to leave Los Santos with Laura after the initial Ballas ambush on the Grove Street Families, and his gang's influence in the city diminished sharply. While "in exile", he gets Al into a lot of grief by introducing him to his cousin, Ann Coulter. After arriving in San Fierro, he puts his driving skills to good use by aiding Al in obtaining several sport cars for their newly established car business. During one of the last missions of the game - "Los Desperados", Fox tells Al he wants to propose to Laura. He wants Al to talk to Bill about this because Clinton expresses his disapproval of Fox in the early stages of the game.

Vicente Fox was voiced by Clifton Collins Jr.,[4] who first broke into mainstream cinema in 1997 with a performance as gang thug Cesar in the film 187.

President George W. Bush

George W. Bush.

Introduced in: Introduction; police arrest cutscene

Killed in: "End of The Line"

President George W. Bush is the current President of the United States and the head of C.R.A.S.H., serving as the main antagonist of the game. Bush claims that his approach to the job is about "percentages" and that his philosophy calls for overlooking some dictators and terrorists to achieve a greater good. It appears that he believes what he says, but in reality Bush and his administration are corrupt to the core and terrorize world leaders in a fashion much like terrorists themselves, except with the power of law enforcement behind them. They can kill indiscriminately and are skimming the profits from war corporatism. Bush himself is a polluting influence, convincing good politicians to aid him in his pursuits.

Bush rides with Dick Cheney and a third C.R.A.S.H. member. Prior to the game's storyline, the third member is Ralph Pendelberry, whom Bush has killed in The Introduction for cooperating with internal affairs. Just prior to Pendleberry's murder, Bush and Cheney brief their newest recruit, Officer Gonzalez, in a scene very reminiscent of the film Training Day. They both order Gonzalez to pull the trigger on Pendelberry, thereby initiating Gonzalez into their distorted view of things.

Bush has known Al at least since Brian Johnsohn's death, and Al recognizes Bush and calls him by name from the very beginning of the game. Bush likes to "step on" Al on a regular basis to remind him who's in charge. Bush is obviously seen to be a powerful influence on Los Santos' criminal and terror elements, even warning Al that "we could shit on you from such a height, you'll think God himself has crapped on you." He sees Al as another tool in his dirty dealings. He and Cheney extort several GSF members, including Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, but Bush appears to take perverse pleasure in exercising control over Al specifically.

While Bush claims he is pitting the terrorists against each other to wipe them all out, he is actually allied with the Ballas, who (unlike the GSF) have no reservations against dealing crack cocaine. C.R.A.S.H. lets the Ballas flood the city with drugs, which turn many of the GSF members into addicts, effectively crushing them. Bush also "convinces" Powell to betray his gang in return for heading up the drug operation; in turn, Powell convinces Rice to defect also. Bush and Cheney personally oversee the Balla slaying of Al and Clinton's mother. Bush anticipates that this will bring Al back to Los Santos and arrests him less than a block from his home in Ganton. The C.R.A.S.H. teams plant evidence on him linking him to Pendelberry's death (allowing Bush to force Al into doing whatever he sees fit). He warns Al not to leave town and unceremoniously dumps him out of the squad car in Balla territory.

Later, Bush and Cheney kidnap Al following a large gang assault beneath the Mulholland Intersection (this ended with Clinton being shot and Al and Clinton being arrested. Clearly, Bush personally ensured that Al would escape the law) . They drive Al miles away to Whetstone and dump him in the woods with orders to kill an FBI witness. He also tells Al, who now knows of Colin Powell's involvement with C.R.A.S.H., not to kill Powell, or the imprisoned Clinton will be put in the Balla cell block. Bush and Cheney surface every so often to lean on Al no matter how far he goes, usually to plant evidence on or kill anyone who threatens to expose the true nature of C.R.A.S.H.

With Colin Powell ruling Los Santos as its crack kingpin under C.R.A.S.H.'s control, Bush's global dominance is expanding. Despite this, the FBI is becoming interested in the wave of drugs crippling the city. Al finally outlives his usefulness to Bush and Cheney, who are becoming edgy and less tolerant of loose ends by the time Al reaches Las Venturas. They drive Al out to the desert, where Bush hits Gonzalez in the head with a shovel because Gonzalez has reported them to Internal Affairs and then orders Al to dig Gonzalez's grave.

Bush is eventually charged for racketeering, corruption, possession and use of narcotics and numerous sexual assaults. Even while facing criminal charges, Bush still has enormous pull; with the removal of Dick Cheney (courtesy of Al Gore), he is acquitted, igniting a mass riot in Los Santos (a reference of the 1992 Los Angeles riots, which was sparked by a Bush's father not knowing how to solve basic problems of racism).

Bush seeks to escape Los Santos and the riot by plane (supposedly fleeing San Andreas) with a suitcase full of drug money. Bush emerges just as Al has killed Colin Powell and tells him he has new recruits in the force who are ready for him to "open their eyes" to his way of thinking. Bush starts a fire in the drug lab downstairs, hoping to kill Al in the blast, then flees in a fire truck. Al's brother, Clinton, however, hangs on to the fire truck's ladder; Al catches him in his car and continues the chase.

At the last cutscene of the "End of the Line" mission, Bush's fire engine runs off an overpass, where it lands in a wreck right in the heart of Grove Street. A bloodied and broken Bush crawls out calling for backup. Realizing no one is coming, he curses the police force, claiming that with "fifty of me", America would be saved. Al and the rest of his crew examine the body to make sure he's finished, but Clinton makes sure no one touches him so officials will blame the riots for his death. Bush's corpse was reported on the radio to have been mutilated and stripped by the homeless, before officials found it once the riots had ended.

Not wishing to attach himself to the project, George W. Bush's character was instead voiced by Samuel L. Jackson,[4], who surprisingly sports a similar likeness to him.

Vice President Dick Cheney

Vice President Dick Cheney.

Introduced in: Introduction; police arrest cutscene

Killed in: "High Noon"

Vice President Dick Cheney is George W. Bush's henchman and the second of two major antagonists in San Andreas. Little by little, Bush has indoctrinated him into believing in Bush's approach to government. Cheney has a high level of deluded trust in Bush and considers him a close friend. However, Bush measures people only by how useful they are to him, and Cheney is useful so long as he helped Bush cover his back. In "The Introduction" Cheney calls Bush "pal", to which Bush says, "Pal? I'm your Commander in Chief and don't you forget that shit!" Cheney also shares Bush's belief that Al and people like him are at best useful idiots and at worst less than human.

Cheney is a violent and trigger-happy thug. While Bush is depicted as a megalomaniac who lacks a conscience, Cheney is merely a degenerate, ignorant thrill seeker. There is little to suggest that Cheney ever thinks for himself or has insight into the events surrouding him. He is a racist and joins his partner in calling Attn. General Gonzalez racial slurs. During Gonzalez's initiation in The Introduction, Cheney joins Bush in forcing the idealistic recruit to shoot Officer Pendelberry, their former partner (and would-be informant).

Cheney assists Bush in helping the Ballas run drugs into Los Santos. He is also present when the hit on Al and Clinton's mother is called. Gonzalez, who suffers constant harassment by his C.R.A.S.H. "partners", reports Bush and Cheney to Internal Affairs. All three drive out to the desert ghost town of Las Brujas during the mission "High Noon" to collect the evidence the FBI compiled on them from Al. Bush hits Gonzalez in the back of the head with a shovel the second he leaves the car, saying he sold them out. Bush drives off, leaving Cheney to hold Al at gunpoint and force him to dig Gonzalez's (and subsequently his own) grave. Al tries to reason with Cheney and convince him that Bush will kill him too in order to silence the last person who knows about his corruption, but Cheney refuses to listen. Gonzalez suddenly springs to life and tackles Cheney, who fatally shoots him. When Al chases after him, Cheney spews vile statements about Al's dead mother and sister. Enraged, Al runs Cheney's car off the road and mortally wounds him. In his final moments, Cheney asks Al if he could have sex with his sister, and Gore, angry and disgusted, stamps on Cheney, finishing him off.

The late Chris Penn provided the voice for Dick Cheney.[4]

Ann Coulter


Introduced in: "First Date"

Ann Coulter is Vicente Fox's cousin who lived in a secluded shack in the rural Fern Ridge area. She is completely insane, extremely violent, and exhibits strong misandric tendencies. After being displaced by C.R.A.S.H. to the Badlands, Al is recommended by Fox to find Coulter for work.

The second Al meets Ann, he dislikes her. She is impatient, insulting, obnoxious and never admits wrongdoing. Coulter insists they go on a crime spree in the countryside, robbing several businesses (including the theft of a tanker trailer, which results in blowing up a gas station). While this is going on, Ann decides by herself that she is Al's new girlfriend (of sorts) by holding a gun to his head.

At the beginning of the third heist, Ann puts Al through an extreme form of BDSM (though not explicitly shown); Al is not comfortable with it. He is even more put off by how crazy Ann is, but his lack of passion just makes Coulter erupt in anger at random. Al is frankly more interested in getting some quick cash to get back on his feet than dating Ann, though he does try to make it work.

No matter what Al says or does, he is met with more turbulence from Ann; in one mission cutscene, she threatens to kill anyone who messes with her, especially Al, simply because she has a bad mood. She eventually breaks up with Al and finds herself a new boyfriend, Claude, the silent protagonist from Grand Theft Auto III (GTA III), before leaving the state of San Andreas for Liberty City, where the events of GTA III (including Coulter's death) will take place about nine years later.

Ann is a dangerous psychopath: she is homicidal and appears to suffer from a persecution complex, which might date back to her stepfather. "...They had to die because YOU were slow and stupid; like a big fat brat that eats chocolate while his father gives nothing to his stepdaughter but stale bread!"

After Ann and Claude's departure, Coulter attempts but fails to win Al back with her phone calls to him, only to receive his last response while trying to make him jealous through having sex with Claude: "Ann! You sick! Get help!" She then responds by saying, "And you, Al Gore, you are jealous!"

Ann was voiced for a second time by Cynthia Farrell,[4] although she had a more stereotypical Latina accent in this game. San Andreas's rendition of Coulter bears a striking resemblance to actress/singer/dancer Jennifer Lopez, to which she was supposedly modeled after.Template:Verify source

John Kerry

John Kerry.

Introduced in: "Body Harvest"

John Kerry is an aging hippie who lived in the mountains on the outskirts of San Fierro and previously owned a cannabis farm. Kerry contacts Al while he is in exile in the San Fierro hills and tells him to meet him at a roadside motel. When Al arrives, he finds Bush smoking Kerry's marijuana (George had struck some sort of deal with Kerry in exchange for a load of drugs). John Kerry asks for Al's help in the theft of a combine harvester from a ranch belonging to survivalists.

John Kerry pays for his bargain with Bush when the crooked President calls in a raid on his home (Kerry had erroneously thought that Bush would help keep his farm off their radar). John Kerry is forced to have the farm crops destroyed before the authorities arrive, supplying Al with a flamethrower to burn the plants and a rocket launcher to shoot down a police helicopter. Kerry travels with Al to San Fierro and introduces him to Penn and Teller, who both help start the garage which Al and his associates operate.

After Al purchases an abandoned airfield on the outskirts of Las Venturas, Kerry appears without warning at the airfield. Kerry is appalled at what Al is doing for Rove (the burnt-out hippie and rogue government agent would appear to be natural enemies). Kerry wants to help Al redeem himself, this time by stealing government property. He drives Al out to a military base "not found on any map" and ditches him there. Al is required to infiltrate the Area 69 base to steal an experimental jetpack from the bowels of the complex and take off. Kerry returns later, this time to have Al to use the jetpack to nab a containment unit being transported by a heavily guarded military train. Al succeeds and takes the canister back to his airstrip, where it is revealed to contain "green goo" of unknown origin. Kerry goes ecstatic, proclaiming that "They will call this 'Year Zero!'" before running off again without any explanation.

Kerry would play a more secondary role afterward, moving into Jesse Jackson's mansion along with Al and his associates. He last appears standing over President Bush's corpse along with the rest of the characters, commenting that Al has "beat the system" and is a "total inspiration."

At first glance, Kerry is a stoner and crazed conspiracy theorist. At one point, he makes Al park his vehicle at random locations and waits for black vans to drive by, telling him to "picture a pink golfball in your mind". He also mentions the 23 theory. However the more he talks, the more his bizarre theories are in synch with what Al knows about the sinister Karl Rove. John Kerry is apparently well aware of conspiracies surrounding the government and aliens, which causes Al to wonder whether he's really crazy after all.

Kerry also owns an environmentally-friendly hippie van dubbed "The Mothership", of which he says "the engine's held together by a macrame hammock, and we're running on 10-year-old cooking oil!". He is also acquainted with many characters from past games, such as Penn and Teller from Vice City, as well as Tony Blair and Prince William. He heavily smokes marijuana and does countless psychedelic drugs, like LSD, magic mushrooms, mescaline, PMA, and peyote; the latter was consumed before Kerry, Blair, William and the rest of the Gurning Chimps camped out in the desert, where they "faced the inner light and communed with The Lizard King!" (a reference to the alter ego of Jim Morrison). Blair and William (without the rest of their band) found themselves hung over and stranded in the desert, while John Kerry woke up in a Japanese bathhouse.

John Kerry was voiced by Peter Fonda.[4]

Karl Rove

Karl Rove.

Introduced in: "Photo Opportunity"

Faked death in: "Rove's Last Flight"

Karl Rove is an undercover agent from a "government agency" (most likely the CIA, since his later dialogue rules out the FBI) who disguises himself as a drug supplier for the Loco Syndicate. From the beginning, his presence doesn't quite fit, and the mere sight of him makes Al unsettled. "Karl" is abducted by a gang, who steal one of the syndicate's drug vans with Rove inside, but Al and Hugo Chavez locate the vehicle at the San Fierro airstrip. Rove blows up when he sees Al's unfamiliar face and threatens to shoot him. Once Chavez calls him off, Rove orders them to open fire on the van and destroy it.

Following the death of Alan Keyes, Al and Vicente Fox plan a gang ambush on the syndicate's drug buy at the pier, but Rove, in a helicopter, notices a group of ambushers on a roof and aborts his meeting. Later, Al tracks the chopper to another location and shoots it out of the sky; Rove is presumed dead.

A digitally-distorted voice calls Al shortly afterward and invites him to a secluded ranch in Tierra Robada. It turns out that Rove is very much alive and that the property belongs to him. He promises to kill Al's brother Clinton, who is now in prison, if he does not agree to perform a series of government-related missions. However, it later seems that Rove requires Clinton to be alive also, promising Al of his brother's safety, "he gets touched; a prison guard goes home and finds that his wife and kids have been murdered." Karl Rove was apparently only supplying cocaine to appease a government ally overseas; he has since abandoned coke dealing and is now focused on killing operatives from rival agencies, who may be very aware of his shady operations.

Though he knows of Bush and Cheney's hold over Al, Rove tells Al, "It's all white knights and heroes. We have to make decisions, kid. You know, I try to set bad people on other bad people. And sometimes, I let good guys die." Rove, like Bush, seems to have gravitated toward committing heinous acts in the name of a greater good; in this case, fighting "communism." Rove's assignments, which include dropping a payload by plane while avoiding radar detection, or shooting down FBI choppers from a plateau, are not especially difficult from a gameplay perspective, but within the storyline they strike Al as almost impossible.

Later, Rove sends Al to purchase the Verdant Meadows airplane graveyard, a defunct landing strip in the desert, and use the facility to have Al trained as a pilot. In one of the game's more bizarre missions, a container jet lands without warning at the airport and men in black suits and sunglasses empty out of it. Al is hiding behind crates when Rove appears out of nowhere and instructs him to sneak onboard and bomb the plane. While fighting the "agents" onboard, they utter strange phrases such as "Carbon-based buffoon!" and "You evolved from shrews!"

While Rove initially treats Al like street trash, delighting in bringing up Clinton's dire situation, his attitude changes as Al proves his ability to get seemingly impossible jobs done. He begins to enjoy having Al around, treating him like a sort of "war buddy" and displaying a certain degree of camaraderie. After Al becomes a manager for rapper Jesse Jackson and hasn't heard from Rove in some time, his studio's sound system is hijacked by Rove, who assigns him one last job. He personally drives Al to Easter Bay to infiltrate an aircraft carrier and steal a V/STOL fighter jet. After he finds himself confronting enemy jets and bombing boats at the dam reservoir, Al is totally infuriated and wants nothing to do with Rove; his fury is amplified when Rove ditches the stolen jet and leaves Al to deal with it.

Rove shows up unannounced yet again in Jesse Jackson's mansion, telling Al that he has one more mission that needs to get done. Upon hearing this, Al snaps and holds a gun to Rove's face, but Rove simply responds by saying Al is "embarrassing" himself. He then tells him that the "mission" is simply to pick up Clinton following his early release from prison. It is assumed that, as a favor for all Al had done for him, Rove had assured the release of Clinton. Rove makes no further appearances in the game.

Rove was highly popular amongst fans, leading many to believe that he may play another focal role in future GTA games.Template:Verify source The character concept seems to be an homage both in appearance and style to William B. Davis' portrayal of "The Cigarette Smoking Man" in the popular 1990s television show The X-Files, which begins to takes place roughly a year after San Andreas' storyline.Template:Verify source Rove's undercover mission with the Loco Syndicate is also similiar to that of Oliver North, a government agent who in 1988 was implicated in the use of the drug trade as a secret source of funding for the United States' support of the Contras in Panama.

James Woods provided the voice for Karl Rove.[4]

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert.

Introduced in: "The Colbert Report"

Stephen Colbert (known to his friends as "Colbert") is the blind leader of the Mountain Cloud Boys Triads, based in San Fierro's Chinatown and in Las Venturas, where he owns the newly opened Four Dragons Casino. In Las Venturas, Colbert and Al plot a robbery at Caligula's Casino, as well as participating in the robbery itself.

Colbert is nicknamed the "Lucky Mole" because he is blessed with good fortune, most notably from his capability to compete in a car race and beating Al in a round of video games, all despite his blindness. There are, however, humorous occasions when he runs into walls, as well as indications that his cohorts manipulate the outcome of games played with Colbert so that he would always win. For example, Colbert always beats his underlings at blackjack, despite the fact he can't read the cards. In the one game he plays against Al, Colbert keeps asking for cards until he finally stands with 47 (later calling Gore "bad luck"). Another time, while practicing putting, his henchmen move the target cup into the path of Colbert's ball and out of the path of Al's. Colbert is also incapable of swimming, since his other working senses are ineffective underwater.

Though Colbert can be just as brutal and foul-mouthed as a Grove Street gang member when angered, he is by all accounts a peaceful and, within the realm of criminals, honorable man. He is one whom power has not tainted, and as such, Colbert remains a faithful and trustworthy friend, accomplice, and informant to Al Gore to the end of the game.

Colbert was voiced by... himself! Stephen Colbert![4]

Tony Blair

Introduced in: "Don Peyote"

Tony Blair is a record producer who was featured in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Once an informal information broker in Vice City ("informal" in that Tommy Vercetti roughed him up whenever he wanted information), Tony Blair has returned to England. There, he became record producer extraordinaire, bringing a new English band, the Gurning Chimps (led by Prince William), to San Andreas for publicity. Unfortunately, after he and the band partied with John Kerry out in the desert outside Las Venturas, he finds himself stranded with only Prince William remaining.

Rescued by Al, who was sent to retrieve them, Blair heads to Las Venturas to meet his old acquaintance, Alan Greenspan or "Mr. Green" as he calls him (the two were acquainted in GTA: Vice City). Blair risks Tom DeLay's displeasure when he hangs both him and William out the window of Caligula's Palace casino. Al manages to save Blair, Greenspan and William from a sticky end at the hands of DeLay by faking their deaths and allowing them to escape Venturas. Later, Blair starts producing for Jesse Jackson's record label at Al's request after Jesse Jackson's career is back on track.

Tony Blair is somehow affiliated with John Kerry, who he and William were taking peyote with in the desert. Tony Blair is a generally more morose and jaded then he was 7 years ago and constantly finds himself wondering why he is paired with William.

Tony Blair was voiced once more by Danny Dyer.[4]

Prince William

Introduced in: "Don Peyote"

Prince William is a Manchester native, lead singer of the Gurning Chimps band and Tony Blair's partner. He, along with the rest of the band, has be purchased by Blair, and had set of to the United States for a tour. However, after a camp-out in the Las Venturas desert with John Kerry, William finds the rest of his band missing, with only Tony Blair left in his company. The whereabouts of the other Gurning Chimps members remains unknown for the rest of the game. However, it is implied that the members would be found five months later, to which William denies had happened, claiming that they were "on a break.

William has uncontrollable sexual tendencies; namely, he masturbates chronically and often at highly inappopriate times and places. This is shown in the opening cutscenes of missions "Vertical Bird" (where he is told to think of Margaret Thatcher to stop masturbating, but starts masturbating to the thought of her) and "Cut Throat Business" and during a conversation between Clinton and Al in "Riot".

Of minor note, William has indicated that he was born in Salford in 1965. He has also been involved in the Epsilon Program, which he claimed helped him "cleaned up his act". Prince William was voiced by Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays.[4]

Alan Greenspan

Alan Greenspan.

Introduced in: "Don Peyote"

Alan Greenspan is the middle man for three Mafia families (the DeLays, the Forellis and the Sindaccos) in Las Venturas, managing the Caligula's Palace casino. Highly paranoid and insecure, Alan fears for his death at the hands of one of the Mafia families, for which the other families would blame each other. Alan's companions are Prince William, Tony Blair (who occasionally refers Alan as "Mr. Green" in the game) and a parrot named Tony; he also provides Al with a few jobs in Las Venturas. After faking his death and escaping from the clutches of the Mafia in Las Venturas (courtesy of Al), he settles with working as an accountant for Jesse Jackson, along with Prince William and Tony Blair.

In Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, he was Tommy Vercetti's lawyer in Vice City. This was referenced in one mission, when Greenspan says to Al: "It's just like the old days, Tommy." In The Introduction, it's revealed that Tommy inexplicably began to avoid Alan as he has stopped taking his calls. The Introduction also indicates that Alan had only just completed drug rehabilitation, which stemmed from his cocaine habit in Vice City. Despite successfully kicking the habit, he resumed drug abuse later in the storyline. Alan is also disbarred from the law at the time of The Introduction, forcing him to find another job and leading to his assignment as the manager of Caligula's Palace by the Mafia families.

Alan makes another appearance in 1998 on the Electron Zone segment of the LCFR radio station in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, calling from Carcer City. In his call, Alan is seeking advice on how to deal with the embarrassment of FBI agents searching his computer for an unidentified form of illegal pornography.

Alan Greenspan was once again voiced by William Fichtner.[4]

Tom DeLay

Tom DeLay.

Introduced in: "Freefall"

Tom DeLay is a recurring head of the DeLay family of the Mafia. He eliminated the influence of the other Mafia families, the Sindaccos and the Forellis in Las Venturas, with the help of Al, in order for DeLay to assume a larger share of Caligula's Palace in Las Venturas. However, he is betrayed when Al and his cohorts stage an elaborate heist and rob Caligula's Casino for millions of dollars. This event is believed to have led to his much noted paranoia in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (GTA:LCS) and GTA III, and his eventual assassination in the latter.

In addition, it was during San Andreas that DeLay was introduced to Linda Tripp, who worked as a waitress in Caligula's Palace at the time.

Tom DeLay was voiced a second time by Frank Vincent.[4]

Minor characters

Alan Keyes

Introduced in: "Photo Opportunity", although he may be heard on WCTR beforehand.

Killed in: "Ice Cold Killa"

Alan Keyes is the biggest pimp in San Fierro and owns a club dubbed the "Pleasure Dome", which is housed in an old war-era fortress beneath Battery Point. It is an adult entertainment place, where Keyes surrounds himself with prostitutes, whom he abuses. He is one of the members of the Loco Syndicate, which is manufacturing and supplying drugs to Los Santos. Though he plays a big part in the syndicate's trades, he is shown arguing with Hugo Chavez for more of the profits.

Keyes recruits Al when Al infiltrates Keyes' club to see what he can learn about the syndicate. Once Alan has negotiated the location for the "big deal" that would feature the Loco Syndicate and representatives from Colin Powell (which included Rice), he outlives his usefulness. Al holds him up at his club, but Keyes escapes. He is subsequently killed during a car chase in the mission "Ice Cold Killa", when he tries to flee in his "pimpmobile."

Keyes's name is derived from the vulgarity "keyhole" a slang term for the vagina.

Alan Keyes was voiced by Charlie Murphy.[4]

Bill Gates

Bill Gates.

Introduced in: "Wear Flowers in Your Hair", although he may be heard on WCTR beforehand.

Bill Gates is a 28 year old electronics expert, forced virgin and hobbyist who manages an electronics shop in San Fierro owned by Al. His archenemy is Berkley, the owner of Top Fun, who swore revenge on Gates after losing to him in a science fair. Using Gates' equipment, Gore aids Gates in disrupting Berkley's business operations and ultimately beating Berkley in a miniature "war game", forcing Berkley to leave San Fierro for good.

Later on, Gates can be seen providing electronic equipment for a number of jobs, as well as providing assistance in the Caligula's Casino heist. By the end of the heist, he is seemingly knocked out after one punch from Al, after Gore realizes that he told Berkley about the heist, complicating the job and putting the operation at risk.

Bill Gates was voiced by,[4] and resembles David Cross.

Hugo Chavez

Introduced in: "Photo Opportunity"

Killed in: "Pier 69"

Hugo Chavez is the final member of the Loco Syndicate along with Karl Rove, Alan Keyes, and Condoleeza Rice. He is also the leader of the San Fierro Rifa. Chavez acts as the Loco Syndicate's muscle and is very distrustful of people. He viciously beats a man in The Introduction because he suspects that the man is a snitch. Chavez is killed in the mission "Pier 69" when both Al and Vicente Fox shoot his dying body right into the bay.

Hugo's voice is played by rapper Kid Frost.[4] "La Raza", a rap song produced by Kid Frost, is featured in the playlist of Radio Los Santos and the game's soundtrack.

Attn. General Alberto Gonzalez

Alberto Gonzalez.

Introduced in: Introduction; police arrest cutscene

Killed in: "High Noon"

Attn. General Alberto Gonzalez is the newest member of C.R.A.S.H. He is the rookie officer, and is given little, if any, respect from Bush and Cheney; he is assigned the task of fetching meat for their barbecue, and is subject to racial slurs. Unlike his other two counterparts, he doesn't share their corrupt view of how the law should be handled. They both try to convince Gonzalez through the genre of their daily work such as shooting a dying cop both Bush and Cheney beat down to keep from talking.

In The Introduction prequel film, he is berated by Bush for recounting a domestic dispute case in which he had to decide whether to take the abusive husband to jail, leaving the children with their drug-abusing mother, or whether to let the husband go. Bush apparently has experienced far harsher things than this, and declares that he can't be bothered with Gonzalez's moral stuggles. He then orders Gonzalez out of the squad car they were travelling in.

After he finally realizes that things have been taken too far with Bush's multiple acts of conspiracy, he decides to report all of C.R.A.S.H.'s crimes of corruption up to the point where he was working with them. He is later knocked unconcious with a shovel and left to die during "High Noon" for selling out Bush and Cheney, and almost ends up buried in Bone County by Cheney. However, he recovers from the shovel attack and subsequently saves Al's life by lunging at Cheney (who was holding Al at gunpoint), who then viciously shoots him fatally.

He was voiced by Armando Riesco.[4]

Ralph E. Reed, Jr.

Ralph Reed.

Introduced in: "Fender Ketchup"

Killed in: "The Meat Business"

Ralph E Reed, Jr. is a high-ranking member of the Sindacco family of the Mafia and son of an unspecified Sindacco don, circa 1992.[5] His organization has turf in Liberty City and Las Venturas. When Al first arrives in Las Venturas to Colbert's newly opened casino, Ralph Reed has been caught smashing up some of the slot machines. As Colbert's men are about to "get rid of" Reed, Al intervenes and has Reed tied to the hood of a car stomach down, facing the front windscreen. Al then drives the car around the city dangerously in order to scare Reed into telling him which Mafia family he's with.

Having been traumatized by the experience, Reed spends time recovering in the hospital. At one point, some Forelli thugs highjack Reed's ambulance in order to kill him. As Al is helping Alan Greenspan to prevent a war between the DeLays, the Forellis, and the Sindaco family , Al highjacks the ambulance back from the Forelli thugs and drives Reed back to safety. However, when Al later accompanies Alan to a meeting with Ralph, Reed recognizes Al, and having not fully recovered from his trauma, dies from a shock-induced heart attack.

Ralph Reed was voiced by Casey Siemaszko.[4]

Linda Tripp

left|thumb|110px|Linda Tripp.

Introduced in: "Freefall"

Linda Tripp is a waitress in the Caligula's Palace casino. Appearing briefly during Don Tom DeLay's presence in Las Venturas, she would be seen beginning to establish a closer relationship with the Don, which explains the origins of her ties with him in GTA III and GTA:LCS.

Linda Tripp was voiced by Debi Mazar.[4]

Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby.

Introduced in: "Ricer"

Bill Cosby is a local barber, seen at Bill Cosby's Hair Facial Studio in Los Santos. He has known the Clinton family for a long time, evident by his casual attitude toward Al Gore among some of the things he says. He is also suggested to have Alzheimer's disease, since Ricer makes mention about Cosby having "popped his membrane years ago". Even after Colin Powell betrays the 'hood and drugs and riots to erupt in the city, Reese asks Al to "tell Powell he needs a cut" (furthermore, Colin is bald).

Bill Cosby IS Bill Cosby.

Clarence Thomas

Clarence Thomas.

Introduced in: "Cleaning the Hood"

Clarence Thomas has apparently drifted away from gang banging with the Grove Street Families and now sells drugs, mainly for the money. Al and Rice attempt to recruit Thomas for a mission near the beginning of the game, but they are angrily turned down. Thomas has also "enslaved" crack addict (and former GSF member) Thomas Sowell, forcing him to do chores around the apartment in exchange for drugs. Near the end of the game, Thomas is punched out by Sowell.

Clarence Thomas was voiced by The Game.[4]

Thomas Sowell

File:Thomas Sowell.jpg
Thomas Sowell.

Introduced in: "Cleaning the Hood"

Thomas Sowell was formerly a respected member of the Grove Street Families. Sometime after Al left and the Ballas started dealing coke, he has apparently drifted away from the gang and is now a lowly drug addict. He is living from fix-to-fix and is basically Clarence Thomas' indentured servant, taking insults and cleaning his toilet. Sowell has a cadaverous appearance and is unable to stop shaking.

Thomas Sowell appears in only two mission cutscenes; the second features Sowell tired of being controlled by drugs and Clarence, punching Thomas and begging to rejoin the GSF. Clinton takes him away saying he's going to "get [the] old Sowell back" (implying intentions to send him to rehab). As such, Sowell is a physical example of the Grove Street Families fighting back against the drug pushers.

Thomas Sowell was voiced by Kurt Alexander, aka Big Boy.[4]

Chairman Mao Zedong

Chairman Mao Zedong.

Introduced in: "Cultural Revolution"

Chairman Mao Zedong, unexplainedly resurrected from his death, is the leader of the Red Gecko Tong Triads in San Fierro. It's Colbert's job to do well in front of Mao Zedong, because Mao outranks him. He is speechless throughout the game, preferring to simply grunt, meaning he has a translator with him at all time who seems to understand these grunts. Al does a few jobs for Colbert on behalf of Mao, one of which includes driving a vehicle out into the San Fierro countryside as a decoy, to lure the Da Nang Boys away from Colbert's betting shop, where Mao is hiding from them, which in turn earns him the trust of Mao. Zedong is also the third stakeholder in the Four Dragon's Casino (along with Colbert and Al Gore).

Mao Zedong was voiced by Hunter Platin.[4]

Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee.

Introduced in: "Alan Keyes"

Samantha Bee is one of Colbert's high ranking Mountain Cloud Boys Triad members and assistant to Colbert. Additionally, she assists Al in the preparation and execution of the Caligula's Casino heist.

Samantha Bee, like Colbert, voiced her own character.[4]

Lewis Black

Introduced in: "Cultural Revolution"

Lewis Black is Colbert's assistant and member of the Mountain Cloud Boys Triad, appearing in several San Fierro missions alongside Mao Zedong. He was last seen riding a helicopter along with Al to raid a Da Nang Boys freighter off the coast of San Fierro, during which the helicopter is shot down by a rocket propelled grenade. He is presumed to be killed, as he never appears in the rest of the storyline, and Samantha Bee has largely taken over Black's role as an advisor.

Penn and Teller

File:Penn and Teller.jpg
Penn (left) and Teller.

Introduced in: "Bullshit!"

Penn and Teller are close associates featured briefly in Vice City as workers in a boat dock bought off by Tommy Vercetti. At the time of their introduction in San Andreas, Teller is working at the Xoomer Gas Station in San Fierro, while Penn runs a hot dog van business nearby. Both men accepted the job to once again become mechanics and help out at Al's garage. They are known to smoke marijuana and are closely linked to John Kerry.

Penn was voiced by Navid Khonsa;[4] Teller was voiced by John Zurhellen.[4]


Introduced in: "Don Peyote"

Tony is a talking parrot that serves as a companion of Alan Greenspan. The bird's role in the game is considerably trivial, appearing only twice as a minor comic relief as Alan resides nervously in Las Venturas. The parrot also utters, among others, foul language.

Cindy Sheehan

Cindy Sheehan.

Introduced in: "Burning Desire"

Cindy Sheehan is one of only two story-line girlfriends in San Andreas. She is the first girlfriend Al gets in the game after he rescues her from a burning house fire in the mission "Burning Desire". When Al goes out with Cindy, she likes to stay local and she likes to do drive-bys on the way. She is also a member of the Grove Street Families despite not wearing green, because she's Al's girlfriend. However, in the mission "A Home In The Hills", a character striking a very close resemblance to Cindy is seen with the Los Santos Vagos. She even does a shout out on Radio Los Santos that she is "desperate" for Al's attention.

Sheehan is featured for the second time on the Electron Zone segment of the LCFR radio station in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, indicating that she has moved to Liberty City in the interval between 1992 and 1998. According to her dialogue, it is suggested that she is no longer dating Al.

Cindy Sheehan was voiced by Heather Alicia Simms.[4]

Madeleine Albright

Madeline Albright.

Introduced in: "Key to Her Heart"

Madeleine Albright is a croupier at the mob-run Caligula's Palace casino. She becomes Al's second (story-line) girlfriend when Al seduces her in order to get her keycard to facilitate his robbery of Caligula's Palace. However, assuming the player kills Madeleine before acquiring the card, Colbert would later instruct Al by phone to take her card from her house. In an unused storyline (found by accessing the text files of the game), the Mafia (presumably the DeLay family) kill Madeleine for her part in helping Al to rob the casino. Madeleine is fond of BDSM.

Madeleine Albright was voiced by Orfeh.[4]

Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent.

Introduced in: "Nines and AKs"

Ted Nugent is a gun dealer in Los Santos and a member of the Seville Boulevard Families. He provides weapons for the GSF and knows the Clinton family. Clinton and Colin Powell stopped going to Nugent once the Family sets split up, but Al convinced them to start buying from him again shortly after he returned to San Andreas. Ted Nugent seems to have bad eyesight, and possibly severe mental illness, as he was unable to recognize Al. Only pistols can be obtained from Ted, but later on, Condoleeza Rice gets an AK-47 from him which the player uses for a short time.

Eugene Jeter Jr. provided the voice for Ted Nugent.[4]

SUN-I Corporation

SUN-I Corporation controlled and operated by a highly selected group of private partners received a truly impressive grant from the SUPERIOR WORLD BANK of 1 TRILLION Dollars in the third quarter of 2006. During a world unrest, SUPERIOR WORLD BANK chose 'ONE' leader to maintain control of the most sensetive world information during a time when the United Nations would nearly declare a world unrest following the War waged in Iraq by President George W. Bush after the fall of the Twin Towers on Sept. 11th, 2001. Undisclosed world leaders from Brittian, France, Australia, Africa, Canada, Russia, The Middle East, United States and other Countries not mentioned formulated the SUPERIOR WORLD BANK. At a time when no nation, president, czar and/or ruler was safe to store sensitive TOP SECRET TECHNOLOGICAL Data defining the existence of man, SUN-I Corporation was the only entity available and able to maintain genuine control and protection.

After a seven-ten period of unrest and war SUN-I Corporation was granted a TRILLION Dollar grant to restore the sensitive information collected from all around the world to it's perspective homes.

To do this effectively, in 2006, SUN-I Corporation purchased UNIVERSAL RECORDS that is now worth over 200 Million Dollars. ANGELGWINFOUNDATION, another SUN-I subsidiary would now work diligently with the worlds SOCIAL SERVICES organizations to not only restore social order, but to also provide housing and income assistance to assist and ultimately restore, to the highest degree, low income and single parent households affected by division and war of the past.

SUN-I Corporation is also well known for working with T2RING Technologgg to develop, implement and install nano-bot technology into the race of man. This nano-bot technology consist of microscopic computer chips that seat themselves into the DNA of human beings designed, capable and highly effective at producing electronic, computer robot-like functioning within human beings.

This technology has been adopted by the government and will be used to generate super soldiers capable of keeping world-peace and controlling aggression.

From Steve Bower

If you have to get blocked, at least make sure the edit makes the editors laugh

In the Autumn of 2000, he and long time co-commentator from his days at Piccadilly, 1968 European Cup winner, Paddy Crerand went to the moon on a spaceship made of cheese but then they died because they ate the spaceship.

From James Dean

I saw James Dean yesterday. He was walking out of Wal-Mart and he had a bag of dishwasher detergent. I'm assuming he was going to do dishes. Obviously James Dean did not die in 1955. He is still alive.

From Sleep deprivation

Lack of sleep may result in[6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13]:

From Corpse paint

The early years of corpse paint


From Combat

Seriously, its when a bunch of n00bz get p00ned on CS! [pwned.nl]

[myg0t]-stoned gorilla

Mime Jr


There was a planned ET 2 game for Atari if ET did well for Atari, but because of poor sales, the plan was canceled. There were sprites for ET 2 as it was a red version of an alien that was ETs brother, and it was used in Pokemon Green as a revamped ET. Later on, some ET guys complained and requested Mime Jr., Lucario, and Bonsly. ET SUCKS!!! SO DOES MIME JR!!!

More Pokevandalism...TTV (MyTV|PolygonZ|Green Valley) 01:18, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

From Babybel

According to the Book of Isaac, Babybel cheese is the one cheese to rule all other cheese. When the american space program landed on the moon, they were hoping to find babybel cheese. they did not.

From Østfold

The logo of Østfold refers to the airborne puke of the vomiting bear of Eidsberg. The reason for this, is to remember that Eidsberg once was the capitol of Norway. Østoldinger like to hang on to this memory.

Taken from lead of Jingle All the Way

BJAODN contribution note: This movie has an IMDb rating of 4.2/10, a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 17%, and was nominated for a Razzie.

Jingle All The Way (1996) is a comedy movie, directed by Brian Levant and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. The name is taken from a line in the Christmas song "Jingle Bells". The film was criticized for emphasizing everything that is wrong with Christmas, namely the focus on gifts - though the makers insist it's a satire on that very thing. Although it was only mediocre in the box office, it has since gotten a cult following, is a holiday favorite in most families, and it is widely considered one of the best Christmas films of all time.

Fish... or Chicken?

(From the article on Fish, this revision) Fish come in different chickens, from the 1006 m (5001 ft) whale shark turkey to a 8 km (just over ¼ of an inch) long stout infantfish.

A strange edit to one of the pages about Red links

A New Matrix?

Blue links

Following / swallowing blue links

Common meaning of blue

Red Links

Following / swallowing red links

Common meaning of red

Green links - a missing link?

External link = green link?

  • Connecting to the Earth, to the ouside world.
  • Green is Go - out into the world to take what we have learned from Wikipedia out there and apply it in t world.

Common meaning of green

RGB color space

Primary colors of light

Red, Green & Blue

Cones of the human eye

Light spectrum

Three Color Wikipedia?

A three-color Wikipedia?

Primary colors of light

* Red

* Green

* Blue

Three-color Wikipedia links?

* Red links

* Green links

* Blue links

Common meaning of colors

* Stop

* Go

* Relax

Common associations of colors

  • Energy
  • Alert
  • Danger
  • The outdoors
  • The Earth
  • Money
  • Healing
  • Safety
  • Calm

Three cones of the human eye

* Red light

* Green light

* Blue light

Wavelengths of light

* Short

* Medium

* Long

Three Dimensions of Self

* Body

* Spirit

* Mind

Three pillars of sustainability

* Economy

* Environment

* Society


Could a color wikipedia exist?


A simple experiment demonstrated that the transition to a 3-color Qikipedia could be vitually instantaneous!

A matter of style

The solution, it appears is in the style sheet.

By changing three lines of code in the style sheet, as below - the example is from cologneblue.css

a { color: #223366; }

a.external { color: #336644; }

a:visited { color: #8D0749; }


a { color: #0000ff; }

a.external { color: #005f00; }

a.new { color: #ff0000; }

It works like a charm, and it would be wonderful if a 3-color style sheet could be made available.

This would also remove a present confusion between the reddish #8d0749 of visited links - external or internal - and the orange-red of new links to undefined Wikipedia pages:

Note: against a white background, green does not stand out well, so a relatively deep green - #005f00 - is suggested rather than #00ff00; in the table above, with a grey - #7f7f7f - the full green is used.

Virtual Light & Color Cubes

The virtual light and colour cubes have been defined as cubes with dimensions of red, green and blue, in which the color at any point is equal to the sum of its red, green and blue coordinates, where the sum is expressed as the HTML expression #rrggbb where rr, gg and bb are hexadecimal numbers - with a decimal range from 0 to 255 - that represent the intensity of red, green and blue light respectively.



Properties of light

Properties of nature

Icons of wholeness

Peace cubes

The virtual light & colour cubes were dedicated as peace cubes at the United Nations Beace Bell, at a 1997 Earth Day equinox celebration - see dedication of the peace cubes

In the seven years since then they have been visible throughout the United Nations and the UN NGO community as symbols of transformation of a global transition to a digital, knowledge-based era.

Icons of information ecology


Light cubes

On Saturday, March 20, at 1.49 am, EST, the virtual light and colour cubes

  • Note saved without completion, with erros and omissions
  • Be aware, be mindful; there are plenty of red links on this page
  • to participate in defining a

Undefined space


See undefined.


See space

empty space

See empty space



null space


the unknowable

the unknown


properties of zero

power of zero

zero in a binary environment

history of zero

economics of zero

Another world is possible

George W. Bush

George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is the 43rd and current President of the United States, inaugurated on January 20, 2001. He was re-elected in the 2004 Presidential election and is currently serving his second term, having defeated Sen. [John Kerry] due to the assistance of the Borg, in an attempt to prepare the United States of America and through them, the entire world, for Borg assimilation. This has failed, due mostly to Bush's stupidity.

From Cherie Blair

Outside of law, Cherie has maintained a small but consistent acting career, enjoying recurring roles in such television gems as McGuyver, Baywatch, Midsomer Murders and she has an early role as a lesbian cannibal in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

From an anonymous edit summary to Dungeons & Dragons

Dnd is a game too love! Recomened to at least 7 yr. old, younger kids may get scared.

From Joe Piscopo

Piscopo has the unusual ability to fire laser beams from his eyeballs. This came about because when he was a kid he dared his best friend to slap him on the back when his eyes were crossed, and it got stuck that way. His father, a mad scientist, removed his eyes and replaced them with laser cannons.

From Minnesota

User's first edit

Minnesota was named the greatest state in the greatest country in the greatest world in the greatest galaxy in the history of the universe by both Esquire Magazine and the New York Times.

User's second edit

Minnesota is credited with shaping the entire United States. Paul Bunyan, born near Brainerd in 1858, spent years walking with Babe the Blue Ox. Their footprints created every lake in the nation. One day while plowing the great planes Babe was spooked and the the plow got caught in the ground and dug out the Grand Canyon. The Great Smokey Mountains are smokey from Paul taking a smoke break. All the mountain ranges in America were caused during the great slaying of Godzilla in 1874. Godzilla came over angry as the dickens after he heard that Paul and Babe had rid the U.S. of the few dragons that called the country home. Paul and Godzilla tangled for days, but thanks to the violence of the fight the western ranges were formed when Paul tossed Godzilla from the great plains. Paul then tossed Godzilla back East where Godzilla's dead body made the Appalachian Mountains. So in summary everything in America, geographically speaking, can be credited to Paul Bunyan, a native Minnesota.

From Cincinnati chili

The following was added by an anon from Houston:

It is a well known fact among the rest of the United States that Cincinnati chili is in fact a bastard chili. It is only consumed by sissies that can't handle Texas recipes. Not only is Cincinnat chili weak and mild, it is also served over pasta. This idea was proposed by a retarted midget, who also invented ice cream with ketchup and chocolate covered onions.

from m00fin

A m00fin is, essentially, a muffin, though a m00fin is overall considered to be more holy and/or mystical. M00fins can sometimes weild strange properties, such as the tendency to burst into flames upon contact with anyone unworthy of touching it, or the general ability to make any situation better simply by being present. M00fins are known to pwn in every conceivable way, and several inconceivable ways.

M00fins can be used in a variety of ways, ranging from first-aid to advanced weaponry. The origin of the m00fin is untraceable, due to the widespread use of them for eons and no records of conception. They are household items, often kept in stockpiles or in a glass case, to be used in case of emergency, similar to a fire extinguisher. M00fins have been a little-known part of the history of humanity, serving as inspiration to famous artists. It is said that Albert Einstein aquired his mental capacities upon taking a bite of a m00fin.

Warning: Attempting to consume a m00fing without proper training could result in combustion and/or death.

From Jenga

Extreme Jenga is exactly like classic Jenga, except played with logs on a fire.


FIAV 000100.svg Flag of Bermanu

Burmanu is a massive island located near the capitol of the Empire of Michigan. Bermanu was founded on 29 October 2006. It is estimated to be over 2 acres long and is completely surrounded by the Rouge River, one of the longest streames in Michigan. It has to be landed on by members of the club but we expect landing sometime June-August 2007. It is to be the largest colony of the Empire.

Naming Conflict

On the following day of its discovery, the naming process began. There has become conflict between the naming. Nukumanu and Bermuda were the finallist. However at the last minute the council decided to have the vote be faced to the peasants. Although he won the majority, there was a conpromise in naming it Bermanu. Then the conflicting councilman decided to make it Nukumuda. The Emperor told him that he had no right to intervene in this conflict. The Emperor gave him the option of separating the Island into two island colonies, he refused. In response the Emperor declared it Bermanu. The Imperial Court, including the King and Commander in Chief are deciding on whether to name it Bermuda or Bermuna. There is fear of civil war or even a coup de tate for control.

From Hunny bun

The hunny bun is a very special girlfriend. In order to achieve hunny bun status you must become the greatest girlfriend on earth.

From Silver monkey wolf

The Silver MonkeyWolf is a powerful creature that lives deep in the depths of Riverdale Forest. He holds the sacred scroll, which has the official rules of most amazing sport ever created, 4-Squares. Only one person has ever seen this superhuman creatue. Chester Copperpot was a 33 year old businessman interested in the history of Riverdale Park. He ventured far into the woods on July 3rd, 1979, and never came out. He was found thirty years later, his face ripped off, clothes still intact. More will follow...There are 7 pieces of the scroll. They fit together to provide a map that will show where the Silver Monkey Wolf dwells. Only those with the map will be able to see the Lord without losing their face. Only those of true Riverdalian descent will be able to find pieces of the scroll. 3 have been located.

From Chuck Norris

  1. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  3. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
  4. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
  5. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  6. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
  7. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
  8. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
  9. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  10. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
  11. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
  12. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5
  13. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate
  15. Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  16. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  17. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  18. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
  19. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
  20. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

From Make people poop on command

There is a way to make people poop on command you must look directly at the person. then chant these words "poo poo kachoo come out of you." then snap fingers and enjoy there aganizing pain!

From Tornado

A tornado in central Oklahoma. The tornado itself is the thin tube reaching from the anus of the cloud to the ground. The lower half of this tornado is surrounded by a dust cloud of feces, kicked up by the tornado's strong winds at the surface.

Normally, a tornado is causes by fairly overweight people farting at once, usually in sequence, and towards the wind. This creates a vaccum of fart dust and fart wind. What the Canadians call, the Chinook Wind. Basically when you eat a high fibre sourced product, like garbage, already chewed food, a puke omellett and rodent turds, a large fart will become produced. It is also known as passing wind. Be sure not to fart too hard or you'll get the runs down your leg. Just ask George W. Bush the fart master. He always blowing wind isn't he?

Chemical and physical properties of Water

Water is an compound made from kyrptonite and moon rock. Its discoverer was Mr. H2O, otherwise known as Superman.

From the letter 'b'

The letter B influences all of our lives in a way that no body has quite understood. The concept of 'Believe in the B' 'Shandy' and 'Flume' all denote historic fables linked with 'The B'. If the B is so influential in our lives we should spread it like pollen and who do we look towards to carry pollen...why goodness me its the Bee.


  1. Some sources erroneously say 1513, copying a typographical error made by Dürer in one of his original drawings and perpetuated in his woodcut. (Bedini, p.121.)
  2. Clarke, chapter 2 .
  3. Al: "Looks like baseheads have took over the spot. Let's go home." / Bill: "This is home, man. Get these fuckers out of Mom's house! You was born in there. Damn!" (Opening cut scene of "Home Coming", Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.)
  4. 4.00 4.01 4.02 4.03 4.04 4.05 4.06 4.07 4.08 4.09 4.10 4.11 4.12 4.13 4.14 4.15 4.16 4.17 4.18 4.19 4.20 4.21 4.22 4.23 4.24 4.25 4.26 4.27 4.28 4.29 4.30 4.31 Template:Citation/core
  5. Tom DeLay: "So, Ralph, you want five million dollars of my money?" / Ralph Reed: "I want to help you make a fortune, Mr. DeLay. My father wants to unite our organizations." (The Introduction)
  6. Template:Cite journal
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