Hello. My name is Bad Jokes. You Deleted my Other Nonsense. Prepare to die.
From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
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Reference to Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride. ("My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.")
| Feel free to add BJAODN to the newest page, but cite the source you got those Bad Jokes from. Thank you. |
from Wanking
you are a wanker for reading this page on wanking you Wanker
nothing
From Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man
The story is very thin, it's based around a robot uprising on a robot producing planet. The Low G Man is the only man strong enough to take the robots down, and he does. Like a strong December wind powering its way through the dead leaves on the forest floor, Low G Man destroys everything in sight, claiming victory.
From The Raven
Edgar Allen Poe also wrote The Emu although this was widely rejected. It states a child was crying over a lost pet rabbit when a black emu came to the window and croaked "Dude." The meaning is unclear.
From Wikipedia talk:Wikipe-tan
Anime sickens me
I hate anime so much!! It's a grossly perverted image of the human anatomy that unrealistically portrays characters as good, or bad. Their personalities are generally exaggerated and obnoxious. Gender and age roles are almost always are exactly what they [i]"should"[/i] be. It is a disgrace to the concept of art. It is often so overly cute it makes me sick. I never, ever, ever, ever, ever would want to be represented by that!! Why would this be used to represent anything except... a cartoon group, or something??-- —The preceding unsigned comment was added by The strategy freak (talk • contribs) .
- How very ironic that you have this image on your talk page...--Kunzite 00:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
- I like anime so much! It's great to see people focus on sentimental and emotional expression than anatomy. Think, if I want accurate anatomy I would watch movie instead of cartoon or anime! It is improved concept of art "focus on express your feeling and forget all anatomy crap!". That's why this should be used to represent everything except... a heartless group. Of cause, there're anime without heart. But I won't bother with them anyway. L-Zwei 05:40, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
From The great toolset disappointment of '06
The Great Toolset Disappointment of '06 occured in the early hours of the morning on October 1st, 2006. On this date, the Neverwinter Nights 2 toolset was scheduled to be released. As thousands of people, who bought the pre-order pack, from all around the world waited in anticipation for their download, the clock turned to 12:01, and still, there was no toolset. Hours later when all the time zones declared it to be past midnight...still no toolset. The Neverwinter Nights 2 forums flooded with threads 50 pages long. People are desparately waiting, and there is no hope in sight.
Meanwhile - the rest of the world went on, unaware of the great tragedy.
History:
- First date to download was 8th of September, 2006.
- Changed to 22nd of September, 2006.
- Changed to 25th of September, 2006.
- Changed to 1st of October, 2006.
Chronicle of Real time Events:
- I'd like to see someone figure out what happened to each previous release date including the current lack of one. Such as "On 30th of sept. at 11:00pm EST, so and so from Atari put their head up their own butts and forgot to tell anyone"
List of People Who suffered due to Atari's incompetence:
- Zanbato - Creator of the original 'The Great Toolset of Disappointment of '06' entry
- Bashur - One of the few who was there from the beginning. For thirty three hours, he stayed awake and watched the boards, slowly losing his sanity. Leading the protest against ATARI, but falling to the hands of sleep depervation at exactly 12:49PM PST, handing the leadership off to Redunzgofasta.
- Cauzway - He lives in Ottawa, Canada. He hates Atari and Obsidian and this is the 2nd night without sleep.
- Jecrell - His mouse ran out of batteries after trying to scroll through the 40 page thread.
- Teh_Kommadore - One of the few who was there from the beginning
- Slappy the Ringthief - Went completely insane
- Jaevin - Went postal.
- Kernnun - Growing old awaiting NWN2 toolset.
- Xaos - Left work early to download his toolset and had his hopes and dreams crushed...
- Burt - he lives in Scotland and eats haggis for breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day.
- Bunny Lebowski - She kidnapped herself so she could stay up late to watch the countdown timer reach 00:00:00:00
External Links
- Countdown parody
- countdown is over... thread
- an open letter from a disgruntled customer - Atari forum thread
From Smock
Smock may refer to one of the following:
Smock (garment) The smock was formally invented in 1033 at the battle of Hastings by Eimher Seonhog a combat of the greatest skill, before painting his battle shield he put on a piece of drying Englishman's stomach, to protect his uniform and war paint from dirtying with filthy infidel blood. After this and winning the war he journeyed to Mecca where the great Muhammed Angelo, the greatest painter to the ancient world was working on his newest piece, Dwarders In Motion, Eimher presented the smock to not get his clothes dirty whilst painting and Angelo took it and turned it into the modern day smock, what we now use to wear when eating lobster and Chinese food on a Zimbabwean pedestal.
From Talk:Kinder Surprise
I'd like to know how a toy can be "inhaled". They had this warning back in my school days. And just what is this American regulation about? -- Smjg 16:38, 31 Jan 2005 (UTC)
- If a child had just drunk a cup of hot tea, this infra-red heat combined with the UV light from a nearby window if it was a particularly sunny day, would be sufficient to ionise a layer ~10 atoms thick around the toy, thus, if the child were to suddenly hyperventilate, the air resistance would blow this now superheated molten plastic back onto the toy, whereupon any sudden movement could cause the entire toy to vapourise, allowing it to be inhaled and cause cancer in rats. boffy_b 21:55, 2005 May 27 (UTC)
- But...
- Do children under 3 drink tea? Do many parents consider hot tea to be suitable for under 3s?
- Surely somebody of any age can hyperventilate. Does a child become immune to the effect at 3? And considering at least one source implies that this is longer than the average lifespan of a rat, how can they be sure? :-)
- Moreover, is this really anything to do with "small parts"?
- But...
while dancing the cancan
From "Talk:Battle of the Iron Zombie"
bATTLE oF zION CONSISTS OF media superstar, HappyJack, The Commie Zombi struming on his apocolypse guitar and Jesse The Destroyer who pretty much destroys. Zion is proud to be supporters of both Brian tamaki and Guitar Guru Fats WHite! FREE PALESTINE, LETS GET RID OF THIS ISRAELI OCCUPATION NOW! Battle Of Zion, first foremed in 1972, when LSD was on a rise, HappyJack made a decision that changed the outcome of the vietnam war, and the future of new zealand, what if you took lsd, extracted the physcodelics in in, and fused it with P and adding a SECRET INGREDIANT, he called it HappyCrack, this ultimate P or golden meth as knwen on the street was so amazing, the americans beat vietnam and hunter s thompson released fear and loathing in las vegas. times were rough during the 80's, happyjacks crack and acid addiction was creating arguments over little things in the band like who stole his vogels, and where the fuck was his point of HappyCrack. in the early 90's, Battle Of Zion met its death, The Commie Zombie almost died and decided to play in GG Allins band The Texas Nazis, Jesse The Destroyer lived in china and became a buddhist, and HappyJack's depression was rapidly exculating. One day, in 1993, HappyJack overdosed and nearly died, while in his Coma GG Allin also died ironically of an overdose... When he awoke in 1994, he had fogotten the recipe to HappyCrack. after living in darkness for 10 years, happyjack came out and formed HardCore Christian Band DESTINYSFIST, it was huge, they played audiences like K'rd and Queen St. One day they played Ponsonby as well..., DESTINYSFIST was also spriallying down, J-Ball-Z's alcohol problem was becoming a definte problem, and Bitch Hair Josh was in fact, BECOMING A CHRISTIAN, he was soon kicked out. This leaving HappyJack and J-Ball-Z. HappyJack then went "fuck that" and went to get The Commie Zombie from the slums of Otago, flew to thailand and brought Jesse the Destroyer, and the three went to Queen St on a magic Mushroom Frenzy, not much is remembered from that night apart from those who were attacked, raped and beaten by Jesse the Destroyer. Battle OF Zion was back in buisness! playing non-stop sold out gigs and making millions nowadays The Commie Zombie was banished for not drinking enough and turning down drugs, Battle Of Zion merged with Iron Zombie to make BATTLE OF THE IRON ZOMBIE
Vandalism
This page is a STUPID STUPID official policy on the English Wikipedia. It has wide acceptance among its STUPID editors and is considered a STUPID standard that all STUPID users should follow. When editing this STUPID page, please ensure that your STUPID revision reflects STUPID consensus. When in doubt, discuss first on the STUPID talk page.
Whoever put STUPID in there, it just makes you look more STUPID, STUPID ~~The High Magus~~
From Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865), sometimes called Abe Lincoln and nicknamed Honest Abe, the Rail Splitter, Sweet Daddy Ray, Samurai Abelincoln-san,and the Great Emancipator, was an American politician who served as the 16th President of the United States (1861 to 1865), and the first president from the Republican Party.
From Hair accessory heirarchy (in the process of being deleted)
There is a distinct heirarchy of coolness of hair accessories. It is important to know this. In descending order, cool accessories go as follows:
1. Barrettes 2. Ribbons 3. Clips 4. Headbands 5. Hair elastics
This is important to remember. Color is also important, and if it has glitter that makes it was cooler than the prior entry.
One must also note that there is also a heirarchy when it comes to the color and shape of the hair.
1. Red 2. Chemically treated red. 3. Not red
1. Curly 2. Not curly
From Geek license (deletion discussion)
Most often used in the context of being revoked. A geek license is an abstract object belonging to any geek. A geek's license is "revoked" when they do or say something very un-geek-like, such as not knowing what Babylon 5 is, not recognising that a site is a Wikipedia clone, or forgetting to check if the computer is plugged in before calling in tech support. The term appears to stem from Slashdot culture (1), where it was used as a meme to inform other posters of posts that were not thought out well enough.
LOL reflex syndrome
This syndrome is a result of many years of continuous use of instant messaging applications, namely Yahoo! Messenger, where by users often use the acronym LOL (laugh out loud) in unnecessary.
The origins of LOL (lol) were founded in 1993 with the a means of conveying a funny statement that differed from the traditional "haha". Unlike "haha" represents an actions, thus became quickly popular during the late 80's. Many forms of acronym have spawned since including:
ROFL: Rolling on the floor laughing
LMAO: Laughing my [deleted expletive] off
After being adopted it has become repeated by regular users to the point where they not only fill conversations with uneeded "LOL's" but to the point where they have acquired LOL finger. An RSI, the middle finger used in the repetitve movement of the middle finger from the 'l' to the 'o' to the 'l'. This has led to many infamous lawsuites and is a serious matter at hand.
Disclaimer
Anything to fend off the "delete" tags...
From Lobbying is hot:
- The purpose of this article is solely to present the concept of the book Lobbying is hot and is not intended to attract any new buyer.
From 2029
- Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
- Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
- Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
- Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
- Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
- Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
- France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
- Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
- George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
- Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
- 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
- Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
- Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
- Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
- Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
- New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
- Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
- IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
- Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
From Video Games in the 1800s
They did not exist.
Like, oh my GAWD!
Originally listed under the heading of "National brands," we present:
hi my name is andrea maria is rite here with jesenia and jesenia is really smart likemeand andre ais the bestest, maria is i dont know, and esenia is smart.
From Durer's Rhinoceros
Template:Artwork Dürer's Rhinoceros is the name commonly given to a woodcut carved by Albrecht Dürer in 1515.[1] The image was based on a written description and brief sketch by an unknown artist of an Indian rhinoceros that had arrived in Lisbon earlier that year. Dürer never saw the actual rhinoceros, which was the first living example seen in Europe since Roman times. In late 1515, the King of Portugal, Manuel I, sent the animal as a gift for Pope Leo X, but it died in a shipwreck off the coast of Italy in early 1516. A live rhinoceros was not seen again in Europe until a second specimen arrived from India at the court of Phillip II in Spain in around 1579.[2]
Moved from Talk:The 100
Background: The 100 is a list of the 100 most influential people of all time, as assessed by Michael H. Hart in 1978. It is frequently mis-edited by users who can't believe that Jesus isn't in the #1 spot instead of Muhammed. User:139.76.128.71 tries to elucidate...
The criteria is influence 'on humanity' alone. While many readers may "feel" that Jesus is the "best-person-of-all," their feelings to not speak to the legitimacy of this list as a list of influential people. Keep this in mind.
Side note to semi-aggressive fundamentalists: Things Jesus never said that are central to American Fundamentalist belief:
"Do not change your behavior. I simply have to forgive you. It's less paperwork." - Jesus
"This is my body. No, really...It's actually my body. Seriously guys. Eat me." - Jesus
"Folks, the point of life is to memorize and believe in the events that took place in my life. As long as you know that I rose from the dead, you can actually forget about most of that 'Love thy neighbor' talk. I mean...I freakin rose from the dead. How cool is that?" - Jesus
"Everyone - listen up. We're going to go through the Old Testament and approve only those passages that do not affect our everyday life. Everyone grab a Sharpie. We only have 2 for this crowd, but we can do the fish & bread thing for this too." - Jesus
"While I have long hair, this is only ok until it is socially unacceptable. Once American Fundamentalism takes off, I want every male with short hair, and every woman in a dress." - Jesus
—The preceding unsigned comment was added by 139.76.128.71 (talk • contribs) 14:17, 4 October 2006.
From Mickey Mouse
When Mickey Mouse turned to the age of four, he got abducted by aliens and took him to mars! While he was there he got to play house with all of the alien amigos. This later became known as when Mickey Turned Gay. That was a popular hit movie only shown in Sweden because it was too graphic for the US. When the legendary Mickey Mouse turned to the big old eightteen, the man who played him at Disney land was arrested for starting a big riot about the song Only You by Captain Jack. The Disney company got so offended by this they were going to transfer Mickey to the Cartoon Network but decided not to because Cartoon Network is a bad TV channel. No!
From Blue
blue tastes like peanut butter mixed with sardines in a kind of vegimite/tomato sauce may cause instant death
From Barney & friends
Barney & Friends is a popular children's television homosexually pornographic show produced in the United States, mainly aimed at preschoolers. Barney is a purple anthropomorphic Tyrannosaurus rex who conveys learning through jumping around singing gangsta' songs with a sexually, optimistic attitude ("I touch you, you touch me, you make me happy sexually, with your hands down my pants and you touching my balls, please dont tell your dad or mom!"). Every episode Barney gives a blowjob to the kids on thier penises! And they touch each other everywhere.
Origin and development of the show
Barney was created in 1969 by Sexryl Bitch of Dallas, Sexas. She came up with the idea for the program while considering TV shows that she felt would be sexually appealing to her son. Bitch then brought together a team who created a series of home videos, Barney and the Backyard Bang, which also starred actress Sandy Duncan in the first 3 videos. Later, Barney was joined by the characters Baby Bop and Blowjob.
Although the original videos were a modest regional success, Barney only became a mega hit when the character and format were revamped for series television and picked up by the Public Broadcasting System, debuting as "Barney & Friends" in 1992. The series was produced by Lyrick Studios. For several years, the show was taped at the ColorDynamics Studios facility at Greenville Avenue & Bethany Drive in Allen, after which it moved to The Studios at Las Colinas. Currently, the series is produced in a northern suburb of Dallas, Texas. The TV series and videos are distributed by SHIT Entertainment.
In the new season, due to debut on September 18 (2006) a cousin of Baby Bop and BJ will join the series. [2] Named "Riff", he is a musical Hemeroid, who will teach kids about world music and respect for those who display non-traditional gender characteristics. Dismissing any controversy regarding Riff's orientation, Executive Producer Karen Barnes says, ‘‘I think a show that’s been on this long, it’s important that we add new elements.’’ [3]
Barney & Friends is now shown in other countries where it is translated if necessary. One such example is the Latin-American version produced in Mexico which is called Barney y Sus Amigos, (Spanish translation of "Barney and his Friends.")
Criticism and Controversy
Although most serious reviews of Barney & Friends have been sexy, the show has been the target of a certain degree of controversy. This criticism generally stems from some disagreement in the messages that the show sends children through the situations that it portrays.
For instance, one particular episode made use of the phrase, "A stranger is a friend you have not met yet", which some parents may view as sending a dangerous message to their children. Another episode was criticized because a situation in the episode could be interpreted as teaching children that cheating is good. In the episode, the children are involved in a contest where they have to carry poop with a penis on it without dropping it. One child wins by putting semen on his dick to make the poop stick, and then he is rewarded for "sexual thinking." Another episode was also criticized because one situation could be interpreted as teaching children that it is okay to suck penises. In the episode, one child sucks a penis from another child, but the other doesn`t care because he wanted it to be sucked the first place.
Critics have alleged that the show condoms huge orgies, saying it encourages children to do nothing but have big huge orgies all day long, which has been shown to have sexually effects on their development. This has also led critics to believe Barney is an attack on Individualism. The most popular claim is that many believe the children all act alike, and they all like to do each other all throughout the show.
The show has also been criticized for that its too hot and homosexual for 2 year olds value. However, studies conducted by Yale researchers Dorothy and Jerome Singer have confirmed that episodes actually contain a great deal of what gay sex and child molestation should be for 2 year olders. An additional criticism has been made that the characters often use sex to solve real problems, something that is very controversial among Christian fundamentalists who regard "sex" as equivalent a sin.
From Religion
= From John Adams
After the Constitution was signed, Adams decided to leave his strict, colonial lifestyle and become a monk in the Himalayas. When this wish was flouted, he became heavily into drugs and alcohol. In 1778, he was arrested for possession of Lavander-Therapy perfume, which is currently used as a sedative sprayed on rioting crowds in modern standards. Afterwards, he, Washington, Rutledge, and Handcock became an alternative rock group known as the Fatherz of Statez with such hit songs as "Love me but Don't Tax my Tea" and "I Eat Brits for Breakfast."
From Elmo
Elmo is a friend of the devil. He is a furry red creature with googly eyes and an orange nose. He currently hosts the last full segment on Sesame Street, called Elmo's World, which is aimed at toddlers. He is accompanied by his goldfish Dorothy, and by silent Charlie Chaplin–like characters named Mr. Noodle and Mr. Noodle's Brother Mr. Noodle. His puppeteer is Kevin Clash.
Silver Stream, New Zealand
The Silver Stream is a magnificent stream flowing with magestic beauty and sewage. Leprechauns and Unicorns dance all day on their grassy banks. Their are many families living along this stream. One of the profolic families is the Bates family.
From M Fever
A viral infection first diagnosed in the south of England in 1971 by the late Doctor Herbert Marminet (1921 - 1993) of Kings College London.
Symptoms
The first signs of the fever begin with the patient feeling a light malaise and general feeling of nausea. Some sufferers have reported a red spotted rash behind the ears. The onset of the fever begins after several days and includes vomiting, chronic tinnitus, a red spotted rash, tiredness, hair loss, aching joints, swelling of the tongue, surplus phlegm, bleeding from the nose, brittle nails, constipation, loose teeth, lock jaw and clench palm, a form of epilepsy where the hands spasm uncontrollably into fists and a general feeling of depression.
History
As mentioned the first case was discovered in England during the 1970s and it is still not known what causes this disease and indeed what cures it. Several charities have been set up to conduct research, which include M-ercy and The Imperial M Fund. Soon after the first diagnosis by Dr Marminet several cases were reported, isolated in the seaside town of Brighton. Since then cases have emerged in other, mainly rural, areas of Britain. Some believe that the disease is a migratory virus, capable of lying dormant for some time within the host environment. The trigger for an outbreak is still unclear and many scientists believe an epidemic could occur at any time, particularly teatime on Thursdays.
Charity
M-ercy was set up by Bernard Manning in 1984 when his close friend John Bilge was diagnosed with the condition. Since then Bernard has donated all the proceeds from his last two tours and has to date of publication raised close to £100 for the charity.
The Imperial M Fund was launched by the singer Boy George off the back of the Band Aid event. The singer had suffered from the virus during his ‘Love Pest’ tour in 1984. The high profile of Boy George and his band, Culture Club, have raised several pounds for the research fund and are currently funding three part-time, unpaid research students at the University of Exeter in South West England.
Cures
There are currently no known cures for the disease, but several things are reported to ease the tension signs. Smoking marijuana in small quantities (although illegal) can relieve some of the symptoms. A good night’s sleep is also reported to help though more than nine hours a day can further the complications. Sufferers have also found relief in the following: playing all ball sports, applying or ingesting squeezable cheese, licking the wrong side of envelopes, making sandcastles, combing their hair with forks, wearing tight underwear, talking in Scandinavian accents, balancing chopsticks, swallowing folded postcards of Great Yarmouth and all flavours of soup other than minestrone.
Sufferers
To date there have been over 614 cases of the disease reported, all within the British Isles and Chad, Central Africa.
From 2070s
December 24 - Serbia, Bulgaria and Turkey has a Christmas patrol of Southeast European elves leaping and ballerinas dancing at Christmas. But it takes place in Sofia.
From Rambone
Rambone "Rambo" The Albino Tiger Oscar (October 23, 2005 - February 25, 2006) was an albino tiger oscar owned by two brothers who reside in Michigan. Rambone was purchased at a young age from a Michigan pet store. His tragic death in February of 2006 shocked those that knew him, and led to better fish care in the home in which he lived.
Purchase and Early Life
Rambo was purchased on October 23, 2005 from a Michigan pet store. Although October 23, 2005 is shown as the date of Rambo's birth, he was likely born several months before in a fish hatchery, as the US stock of tiger oscars are rarely captured from wild environments.
Rambo was housed with a small, one or one-and-a-half inch pleco, which it is assumed he killed. The murder was not witnessed, and the body was not consumed, but it was an otherwise healthy fish.
Home
Upon leaving the pet store, Rambo was transferred to his new home in the store provided plastic bag. His new residence was a ten gallon aquarium in the bed room of the brothers who had purchased him. General consensus says that a ten gallon aquarium is far to small for tiger oscars, however, due to his young age, and therefore small size, Rambo had no problems with the tank at first.
Rambo grew to about seven inches before his untimely death. Although he never really achieved a large enough size to be caused discomfort or health problems by his ten gallon tank, the fact that he was never given a larger tank was one of his owners' greatest regrets. They were in the process of purchasing him a twenty-nine gallon tank when he passed away.
Diet
Rambo enjoyed a diet of "cichlid staple" pellets, grubs, an occasional worm, and dozens of feeder fish ranging in size. Although, once again, the general consensus is that feeder fish are not healthy for pet fish (as they are too high in fat), his owners felt that he thoroughly enjoyed chasing, killing, and eating feeders
His Last Months
Rambo really settled into his tank well. He had his favorite spots, and would lay by the heater, digging holes and waiting for food. He was a gluttonous eater, and would eat until he burst, if given the chance. He most likely ate several feeder fish a week, chasing them about his small tank and grabbing them. Sometimes he wouldn't eat them, but just kill them.
Around December Rambo's owners acquired a small, electronic, remote-controlled submarine. This became Rambo's Nemesis. Whenever the sub was introduced to Rambo's tank, he would viciously attack it as the pilot steered it out of harms way.
Death
On February 24, 2006, Rambo's owners went on vacation for the weekend. Rambo was fed plenty the day before and his tank was cleaned. Upon arriving home on Sunday, the 26th, Rambo was found dead in a filthy tank. A hastily removed and replaced part of the filter had stuck, stopping the filter and causing Rambo to stew in his own filth, causing death.
Interment
Rambo was buried in his owner's side yard, his grave marked with a rock bearing the markered description:
Rambone 'Rambo' The Albino Tiger Oscar
October 23, 2005 - February 24, 2006
He is visited to this day by his owners' sister, who cared very deeply for the fish.
From Vietnam War
National Security Council members, including Robert McNamara, Dean Rusk, and Maxwell Taylor, agreed on November 28, 1964, to recommend that Johnson adopt a plan for a two-stage escalation of bombing in North Vietnam by using the method of Paper, Scissors, Rock.
From Th'u~nks
Th'u~nks as a religion, was born when two prophets — known as the Two Great Piephits by practitioners of the religion — discussed the greatness, and spiritual meaning that can be found in the humble pie, particularly the Pukka (pronounced "puck-ah") variety. Currently it has believers in countries around the globe.
Origins
In the year 2006 CE the Piephits were discussing the benefits of the pie over other pastry based savoury foods, when they were struck by a joint moment of revelation. This moment, known as The Pievation, was believed to be the moment when the Master Baker showed the true meaning of pastry, and consequently life to the Two Great Piephits. From this they jointly established the main underlying tenant of the religion, that of B'heegery and thus Th'u~nks was born.
B'heegery
This is the main philosophy of the religion, and a Th'u~nkseer must complete an act of B'heegery to become a true adult in the eyes of Th'u~nksian Church. After this a Th'u~nkseer may complete B'heegery as often as he or she likes. It is born out of the notion of conversion, the act of B'heegery being the conversion of another non-believer with a melodic shout of "You love-a the Pie", and the ceremonial handing over of a pie, preferably Pukka. The pie should then be eaten by the converted one, saving the crust until last. The foil casing that the pie arrived in then may be worn as a hat, to show others that the wearer embraces B'heegery.
Worship
The normal method of worship is the weekly attendance of a Pie Factory, services are held on the factory floor, usually by the owner of the Factory (naturally all Pie Factory managers are Th'u~nkseers). On entrance to the factory, one must make the traditional cry "Me love-a the Pie". The service mainly consists of the handing out of the Piehost, and the silent, meditative consumption of it. Of course this act of worship is substitute to the act of B'heegery, which is often known as "The Pure Worship". Some devout Th'u~nkseers refuse to worship in this way, and worship solely through B'heegery; naturally these are responsible for the majority of conversions, and offer an explanation as to why Th'u~nks grew so quickly.
Conflict Within Th'u~nks
Very soon after the Piephits founded Th'u~nks and set down the fundamental aspects of B'heegery a split in the Church was formed. This stemmed out of the two Piephits inability to agree upon which crust is the greater, and therefore should be saved until last. This formed the famous Upper/Lower split in the Th'u~nksian Church. Some renegade Th'u~nkseers believe that this split in belief was an intentional design of the Master Baker's, and that no crust is greater than the other: as such they eat whichever crust they please, to the great disgust on the behalf of most Th'u~nkseers. This instability in the early Church was further compounded by unfounded rumours that the naming of the fundamental aspect of Th'u~nks (B'heegery) was named after a crude, minor expletive. At this point the religion threatened to collapse, and so the Two Great Piephits set aside their differences temporarily to reassure that this was not the case. After this both the Uppper and Lower aspects of the religion grew in size (there has also recently been a definite increase in those believing the renegade view of Equal Crusts), and since then the religion has remained stable.
From Fireplace
If the Mushanaarg in your fireplace is unhappy, drape some holly on the logs and spray air freshener on the fire when it is lit. This will make the Mushanaarg very happy.
From Palpatine
In November 2005, Parenting Magazine included Palpatine on its list of "One Hundred Positive Role Models for Modern Children." Palpatine ranked 67th, coming in just behind worker's rights activist Cesar Chavez. The magazine described Palpatine as: "a paragon of responsible leadership and a constant reminder of the infinite power of human compassion."
From GeForce 8 Series
In order to combat power supply concerns, Nvidia has declared that G80 will be the first graphics card in the world to run entirely off of the souls of dead babies. This will make running the G80 much cheaper for the average end user.
From Fart
People with the name "Chandler" are known to fart 10 times more than anybody else. Scientists are unsure why this is true. They have an idea that it deals with the moon and waves.
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From Mountain Dew
The Secret Fromula for Mountain Dew is Human urine (Even all of it's other brands too). And the secret formula for your brain is Human Crap ~~The High Magus~~
From St Ninian's High School
Big John Docherty
John Docherty's true origins are unknown, yet several rumors persist.
One states that he comes from Norway, born of a great giant clam. Another claims that he was begat by a union of stellar gasses in a distant galaxy.
But the one most people believe says that he was originally brought forth by an ancient clan of Cave Bears and raised in a time when all beasts and men could change their form. Truly there was no difference between species other than their own perceptions, which, occasionally, they decided to change.
John Docherty experimented with many forms, Buffalo, Orcas, wolf, pinkish Aardvark. But of them his favorite was that of the great Bald Eagle. John Docherty spent many seasons with the beasts of the world, playing, and telling stories. He got to know many other creatures, still known to people of the world today, like Coyote and Raven, Ra, Horus and even Odin and Thor. Most of them were fun at parties but you would not want to invite them into your home.
Eventually he began to work with others chronicling their lives on the walls of caves, the sides of rocks-anywhere an image could be made. Especially where they could be seen and shared by others for many years. Now, drawing and painting on cave walls in the form of a Bear is quite hard. Just you try and hold a paint slathered stick in a paw! So John Docherty decided to change, pretty much permanently, into the form of a human being.
Later on in the history of the demi-god that is John Docherty he became a notorious pirate, incase he wished to return to the civilised world John Docherty changed his name to "Edward Teach" A.K.A - Blackbeard. As John Docherty's exploits as Blackbeard are well known I will refrain from including details about this time in his odyssey.
In more recent times John Docherty decided to change his name to John Norris because he thought that Norris was quite an "in" sounding name. Anyway, as being a shape-shifting demi-god invulnerable to pretty much anything (except Dutch Edam cheese heated to 43.1 C (109.58 F)) was a rather lonely existance John Norris decided to create a sub-being based on himself (though the sub-being lacked the shape-shifting ability and was a meer 0.00246% as powerful as John Norris himself). John Norris decided called this being "Chuck". After a few years John Norris got bored with Chuck and changed his name back to John Docherty.
Today John Docherty remembers nothing of this life as a shape shifting creature and, despite all of it's challenges and troubles, is forging on ahead as an ordinary man to live a good and happy life. He lives in Scotland UK in his new layer.
John Docherty currently works at St Ninian's High School nearby. To this day, in an acknologment to his pirating days he celebrates "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" and has the pupils his school do the same. Even though he cannot consciously remember his pirating days John Docherty finds himself strangly drawn to pirates.
From Tom Chaplin
Trivia
- There is some debate as to whether he has a large or small face due to having such small facial features (lips, nose, eyes, etc.) on such a large facial canvas.
Quotes
The MPF formula
The formula for the MPF was derived from extensive research and interviews performed by Panther Creek University research specialists in a coordinated effort with golf associates of one James (Jim) McDonough. After much debate and discussion the following formula was developed:
Interest level of McDonough in item of diversion = M2
X
Level of urgency in successful arrival of scheduled tee-time = P
M2 X P = MPF
It was with great consideration and these factors in mind that enabled our panel of experts to arrive at the before mentioned MPF, or otherwise known as the "McDonough Piddling Factor"
Items that may induce piddling include:
Starbucks, one legged women, red wine, J. Pittman, The Curve Inn, anyone that Jim played softball with or worked with and hasn't seen in ten years or more.....
10/10/2006
This information is copyrighted by the "Association of Friends Against Piddling".......
From Rangers F.C.
The club's correct name is simply Rangers F.C. although it is sometimes incorrectly called Glasgow Rangers, this frequently happens with English commentators seeking to distinguish between them and other similarly-named clubs, particularly Queens Park Rangers F.C.. The club's correct name is simply Rangers F.C. although it is sometimes incorrectly called Glasgow Rangers, this frequently happens with English commentators seeking to distinguish between them and other similarly-named clubs, particularly Queens Park Rangers F.C..
The club is nicknamed The Teddy Bears, from the rhyming slang for Gers (short for Rangers), and the fans are known to each other as 'Bluenoses'. "Fudge Packers," was another nickname given them by their secondary captian, Brian Assman. They later realized that Brian really was a fudge packer and decided to beat him with a pillow case full of batteries.
This, a vanity article? Who are you calling a vanity article?
... is a masterful visionary artist known for the illuminating quality of his work. Though he has had no formal training in the arts his works breathes with life and light.
Paintings
Both serene and passionate at once, Michael's images speak from an ancient universal language of beauty that anyone can understand and relate to. For his subject matters, he reaches into his innermost visions and experiences, finding places that many humans fear to confront in themselves. Exploring the inner map of the psyche and the heart, he translates what he finds into breathtaking imagery illustrating the journey of growth and transcendence from the inescapable phenomenon of human conditioning.
From 1657 in science
Births
- Bob Bobbity Bobson, American scientist who discovered that he had eyes
Is water really wet?
Proponents of the water is wet doctrine or concept claim that their belief is correct, however, critics point out that the vast majority of the doctrine is false. Critics note that their claim suffers from circular logic, and accuse proponents of using ad hominems to further their argument. Believers often lash out aggressively at those who point out that water is, in fact, dry. "Wet" water is often an assumed position, by definition, and therefore critics argue the proponent's argument is flawed, in definitional terms. Ice, for example, is a form of water and, at -204°C, is often described as dry at that temperature. As a result, proponents of the "water is wet" dogma are seen by some as ill-informed on the nature of water. The main proponents of this dogma work in water-related industry, leading some to believe that the water is wet concept is more likely propaganda.
From "Increase Mather"
[[wp:'''==He's a Hottie Defending Massachutes=='''|'''==He's a Hottie Defending Massachutes==''']]
What is Zoroastrianism?
Zoroastrianism is the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathushtra, Zartosht). Mazdaism is the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God). It is also used to refer to the religion created by Zorro, the masked avenger (regardless of errors in historical dates).