Even more Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

From Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

From bulldog bat

The bulldog bat is stinx descended from the well-known species of dog. The point at which it diverged from the order Carnivora is unknown; however, Pleistocene fossils show the transitory stage, in which the bulldog began to develop recurved teeth and vestigal wings. The prominent facial features of the bulldog are still recognizable on the bulldog bat. However, the ears have modified and become more suitable for receiving ultrasonic echolocation, which is believed to have developed in a freak accident involving a botched larynx surgery. The evolutionary process from bulldog to bulldog bat still occurs today. It appears to be a spontaneous development; many pet owners have been taken aback by the sudden appearance of wings on their beloved canines.

This is clearly incorrect; you cannot "develop" vestigial anything.

From sound

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

...Huh?

Ed. note: Sounding is a method of finding the depth of a body of water. This is a pun on the many meanings of the word 'sound.' Thus, the above sentence is an amusing way to write the following sentence: "Finding the depth of a body of water by utilizing sound is a secure/accurate method of finding the depth of sounds (In this case a sound is a type of body of water)."I hope that clears that up for you.

From Chicken

Chickens can also be very dangerous at times and when angered they can pose a serious threat to one's life.

Chicken attacks are scary! Have you ever been chased by an angry chicken?--PhilosophyGirl 13:28, 2 Jan 2005 (UTC)

Anyone ever played one of the Legend of Zelda games? (Follow the link if you don't get it) --Matt Yeager 09:05, July 21, 2005 (UTC)

Fear the angry and vengful cucco; god of poulty!

From WikiWiki

Alternatively, it is used to describe the smoking of marijuana, or more commonly, fake marijuana, soaked in embalming fluid.

From Adjustment

An adjustment is the application of specific scientific procedures for the sole purpose of safely correcting subluxation

From Vauxhall Corsa

The Vauxhall Corsa was the successor to the Nova. Popularly driven by retired ladies and hairdressers, it featured one spoiler on top of the other, and a mickey-mouse exhaust which would spontaneously fall off, causing the owner to have no choice but to fit a cheaper, more loud and shiny one. Corsas can be seen in their natural habitat, on their roofs in a ditch surrounded by livestock and insurance assessors.

From Cream pie

A weapon of assault, chiefly used on public figures to get a point across, consisting of synthetic whipped cream on a plate; also, used extensively as a sight gag.

Why was this deleted? It seems perfectly relevant.

That is funny.

This is currently in the article: Some political activists have recently adopted the cream pie as a weapon of protest, to be thrown into the face of one's unsuspecting opponent. This is generally done in a very conspicuous, public manner, so that the opponent is seen (and perhaps filmed or photographed) looking ridiculous. This kind of protest is most common among college students, and although many regard the practice as silly and self-defeating, it has nevertheless caused much controversy. One team of such protesters, known as Al Pieda, operate primarily against right-wing public figures in the United States.

Seems relevant to me. And Al Pieda is real.

From Flugans

Flugans are creatures from space that come in many different shapes sizes and colors. When the flugans prepared to drive the penguins from their home of Antarctica, they decided that they should desguise themselves as tennis balls. This is why we must be EXTREMLEY CAREFUL with tennis balls. Mars flugans are shaped like coffee mugs.

From Synonym

"Synonym" is an antonym of an antonym of a synonym of an antonym of a synonym of "antonym".

From CamelCase GreenCheese

Green cheese comes from green cows ocated in green fields, occasionally green farmers harvets green milk; however, green cheese does not comes from green milk

From Wikipedia:Village Pump

Decipher the Code

archive to Wikipedia:Even more bad jokes and other deleted nonsense in a few days???

)> () ))) )') _ ))) ) )- )-( _ )- )-( (- _ )') (- ))) _ ))) () )' ), )> _ () )' )> (- )'

- (according to page history: User:209.78.16.178 04:06 17 Jul 2003 (UTC))

Does it say "All hail the new world order"? כסיף Cyp 12:46 22 Jul 2003 (UTC)

Looks like "down with the new world order". Though for some reason, parts of it look like some sort of really mutated Japanese-style emoticon to me... --Codeman38 17:40, 1 Sep 2004 (UTC)

No, it says "Asg796-gasfsyroeTHaegrh

[It actually says 'Down with the new world order']

From Wellington

Like any capital city, bureaucracy and great coffee are its major products (total area of coffee plantations: 0 square millimeters).

From Antiquities Act

it is good to protect thijngs that arre old. that is why we have the antiquities act. to proetct things that are old. like my granbdmother. the other week, she forgot where she put her keys and burned down her house. that is why it is good that we have the antiquities preservation act. this concludes my report.

From an earlier version of anti-intellectualism

Describe the new page here.

OK, you have the right idea. For the first time "bomiser" you have to be as general as possible so you can find out what they want the most. Almost, alladin's magic lamp of the internet. You have to make it possible that they find exactly what they are looking for, if they are willing to look hard enough for it. But each new "level" of discovery costs a little more. Just like being a porn addict, and I am only because I love my wife and I self destruct everytime I try to cheat on her. We just aren't right for each other, and I don't ever want to betray her trust in me. You see, i'm like Bomis: open, free, wild, INNOVATIVE, and I learn from experience. The best way to get experience is by "Brain Fucking" with other people. YOU have to be the computer. (Scientific Method) Find a trend, then make a hypothesis, then test it , but most importantly, follow your instincts. People are basically at this point of evolution just very complicated animals. We haven't reached the computer "stage", because people are afraid of BOMIS (change). Just gimmie a chance to work with your company. Man, I'm out of work, out of school, and my relationship is on the ROCKS, man. Don't make me waste this big limitless brain (step one of being the computer, the brain is LIMITLESS, it is the only perfect thing that HUMANS have. But "realists" fail to recognize imagination, spirit, drive, DESTINY (or god, whatever. In short, they sell themselves short, but only because they are afraid to fail. I don't want to be the king of BOMIS, dude. I just want to exploit the hell out of weak people for some cash, because that is the only way they are going to learn, if they ever do. What do you have to lose?

From crab

A crab is a person with a sour disposition. A crab generally complains a great deal.

I've put this back in the article. What was wrong with it? It's a very common use of the term in England. Angela

It's common in the US, too. PhilosophyGirl

Wikipedia is not a dictionary. - Montréalais 07:09, 29 Aug 2003 (UTC)

Use Wiktionary for this article!

From Punch and Judy:

Note: Included here owing to its tone. This was not actually deleted from the article, as I couldn't think of any more accurate (or better) way of putting it.

Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath, who performs appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free, it is greatly enjoyed by small children.

It should also be noted that Punch and Judy are the names of two secondary characters on Cowboy Bebop, which also contains appalling acts of violence and is enjoyed by people who haven't grown up.

From Reasonable man

A (wo)man of common sense to understand the question in relation to the specific idea that encompass the need for a decision. The term "reasonable" denotes a need for "reason" as to be "able", that is to be able to reason as a transport of logical conclusions of law and prescription of justice in lue of circumstances. In the context of law and the concept of laws, the decision of brought from the conclusions derived from the evidence. This could be considered only a reletive term in regard to common law or basic law as it is understood by layman, who in the end are the jurors who must be of the mind of the reasonable man or woman. Most would expect to be "reasonable" but do not take the definition to heart, as they decide in their hearts " what if ".

From One plus one

(should that whole article be considered a bad joke?)

A Chinese joke: What is "1+1"? Answer: 王 (wang).

From The Saga of Eric the Red

the saga of eric. begin in 1004 when eric was death. Lief was his son and he try to discover vinland (canada in actual time) but he couldn´t because the people of there (the skraelings) won't leave them.

From Procrastatask

A procrastatask is something unimportant or unpleasant and unusual one does to procrastinate. They are powerful tools if one is predisposed to procrastinate.

Example: You are a college student, who must study for a math test tomorrow morning. The following are all procrastasks: cleaning your room, painting your room, removing an old bricked up fireplace from your room and its associated mantle then plastering over the hole in the wall, vacuuming out your car, trimming your pets nails, reading Tolstoy, deleting entries out of your PVR, learning how to play Go, building a clay oven in your back yard, making a nonsense entry on Wikipedia like this one.

Procrastatasks are not bad if performed in moderation. The orginator of the term would never clean his room, do his laundry, or clean the dust off his cupboard shelves if not for more important things he should be doing when he in fact does laundry, room cleaning, or dusting.

Why on earth did you remove this, it is such an important part of my life! In Danish it is called an "overspringshandling", which I translate to "Übersprungshandlung" or "over-leap-act".

From Halifax

(Following the 1997 movie, therefore, the residents had to put up with seveal years worth of Titanic-tourists, a tacky Titanic Shop downtown, and endless weepy movie fans leaving flowers on the grave of the engineer who was the movies main character. (Source: a sardonic Haligonian)

This is infact a fact and can be reconfirmed in John Irving's latest novel Until I Find You Again So pls be fair to the person who wrote this and put it back up where it belongs Cheers

From Benedict Arnold

Benedict Arnold was also an underrated chef who liked to cook delicious meals for his soldiers. In 1778, Arnold cooked up a dish featuring eggs in hollandaise sauce which was an immediate hit and became known as Eggs Benedict Arnold. However, after turning on the Colonials, the word Arnold was dropped from the official name of the dish, and today it is known only as Eggs Benedict.

Back in England after the war, Arnold had an extramarital affair with a Norwegian woman, who bore him a son. In that manner, Arnold became the great-great-great-great grandfather of another famous traitor, Vidkun Quisling. No word on whether or not Quisling also liked Eggs Benedict.

From Canon

In Artillery

A canon should not be confused with a cannon. However, cannons have sometimes been used to enforce canons; many European wars after the Reformation consisted of just this.

That was actually quite good....Jenaisis 17:47, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

From Abundance

A lack of scarcity.

One could say a scarcity of scarcity. -Ushionna 3:01 January 9, 2006 (PST)

From Smells

The lower case version of the letter immediately preceding the letter 'm'.

From Aspergillus niger

Aspergillus niger is a fungus that grows on the feet of chickens. It is orange and pretty and some say it even tastes like pickles. Formerly this fungus was used to make soap, cheese and other fancy things..but now it is used only in shampoo. When mixed with apples it makes a good perfume and/or vermafuge.

From Pyroto

Pyroto is an online game where users log into a web-based platform and create text based articles. Based upon how well these articles are received, the users grow in stature. Users can then use their stature to attack other users. The game has evolved one dominant cabal and several smaller cliques. Conflicts that cannot be consensually settled by the cliques, or forcibly settled by the cabal, are resolved by a benevolent dictator who runs the game.

Madferrit 15:51, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

This is GREAT. W1k13rh3nry 07:40, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

From Nazi Germany

Hitler "reannexxed" Austria in ?1938? in a military action he called "Liberstruam"(Living Room in german).Although it was essentially without any fatalities, it was in clear violation of the Versialle Treaty and Austrian right to self determination. England and the U.S.A. decided to negotiate with and finally appease Hitler through a English diplomat named Neville Chamberland.

From Metaphor

The expression, "You are the sunshine of my life" equates someone's beloved with sunshine; something that is impossible in literal terms unless that person becomes a ball of nuclear fusion.

By the way, this is a good example, just odd. It is yet there. - stet

From Chamois

A Chamois is a large bug like creature with a head that looks vaguely human. It has the unique ablity to teleport, but only from redwood tree to redwood tree. Beware, it can bite through 6" of titanium and likes the tast of man flesh.

sounds like my last girlfriend

From Latin

Latin and Latinos

Latinos, as a rule, do not speak Latin... and are not from Latium either.

Not to hear Dan Quayle tell it... - Montréalais 16:54, 19 Oct 2003 (UTC)

Not to be confused with Latios

From List of translatable Buschisms

I especially thought the last quatrain was worth preserving somewhere.

Thoughts can be hard to come about;

one may write readily without.

Dislike of music has a ground

in that it always comes with -- sound.

Although the world, in certain ways,

appears deficient, here and there,

it'd be surprising if it were

abolished, in the next few days.

From Kid Lavigne

Kid Lavigne, was one of the opponents in MIKE TYSONS PUNCHOUT. He was a hermaphodite one legged quack.Chingo to the blingo!'

[From a user who also submitted stubs on several other dubious boxers. No apparent relation to Avril, though.]

From Chocolate Hills:

...many people (including me) would very much prefer if they really were made of chocolate.

-Sounds like a black porn star from the 70s-

From 2010s

One Network takes over the world.

The Republic of Amerada

(created by the same person as the Owen White article)

The Republic of Amerada is a micronation founded by Earl Washburn, Jonathan Weatherhead and Kiril Litvinov on February 12th, 2001

And also

Earl Andrew Washburn was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and is the second President of the Republic of Amerada

From 2089

The World as we know it today suddenly erupts to a mass of nothings, and millions of years later, life begins to form on other planets, where human like organisms seem to evolve

From Job design

Jobs are designed to be menial, but are covered up with relatively lofty titles and paychecks

Finchley Road

Not nonsense, but enthusiasm, 213.122.181.119 wrote (Deleted revision as of 4 Oct 2003)

Finchley Road is an excellent station with all the ususal attractions, there's track and lots of passengers. If you are really lucky you may be able to see a train.

But only if you're really, really lucky!

Hancock's Razor

"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred."

- Occam's Razor, attributed to William of Ockham, 14th century logician

"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the more ridiculous and/or "cooler" one is to be preferred."

- Hancock's Razor, attributed to William Langius Delaney, named for 20th/21st century historian Graham Hancock

The philosophy of methodological reductionism, which has its most succinct expression in Occam's Razor, the former principle listed above, has been commonly accepted by the majority of the natural sciences and is also a major attribute of what is often called "common sense". The common man-on-the-street will accept more readily a simple explanation of a phenomenon than a convoluted one, provided the explanation is garnered from a peer and not an authority figure, in which case the gullibility rate is found to be higher.

However, despite the prominence of science in the twentieth century and the general success of positivistic scientific thought, rooted in Occam's Razor, many disagree. A principal critic of strict parsimony, beginning in the late 20th century, has been William Langius Delaney (1981 - ). Son of a local politician in Jacksonville, and working outside the other realms of criticism of philosophy of science such as postmodern critical theory, Delaney has independently developed the principle of Hancock's Razor as an alternate methodological principle in historical and scientific thought. The argument is as follows:

Rather than assuming the often dull, simplest version of events which are unknown, hypothesized, or fundamentally unknowable, life can be made more interesting if the cooler or more ridiculous (in the eye of the hypothesizer) theory is assumed to be true, despite lack of or scarcity of evidence to directly support the more extravagant theory above others.

As a significant example and namesake of this razor, Delaney proposes Graham Hancock (1951 - ) , historian and author of several books, including The Sign and the Seal, Fingerprints of the Gods, and Underworld, whose theories regarding the origins of civilization are highly unorthodox and altogether very intriguing, according to Delaney, who also lauds the author as the "best historian ever". Following Hancock's example, Delaney proposes we take the meagerest of historical evidence and accept with the theory that fulfills the evidence in the most interesting or "coolest" manner, but always following the direct physical evidence and sometimes using the ancient myths of civilizations as guides in determining one's own version of historical truth that conforms to but is not the simplest (i.e. least interesting) explanation of said evidence.

The critical philosophical point here is this: a negative proposition can never be universally proven right; arbitrary enforcement of simplicity is not proof. Thus, if one, based on certain evidence, can construct a unique, aesthetically pleasing, or outright awesome theory that incorporates many more logical entities than the simplest possible theory, such a theory may be reasonably acccepted by applying Hancock's Razor. There need not be a problem with unnecessary multiplication of entities. The problem, according to Delaney, lies in the unnecessary multiplication of uncool entities i.e. entities which lack the requisite aesthetic level desired by the theorizer. As many entities as possible may exist without the knowledge of the speculator, thus the speculator is free to assume the existence of any highly aesthetic ones for which there is neither evidence for or against. Thus passed through the aesthetic selection of Hancock's Razor, a newly minted theory may be christened ready to assume. The theory is then altered with new hypotheses, if new evidence is brought to light.

Hancock's Razor is malleable. Occam's razor is not in the sense that the theoretical selection process is contingent alone upon simplicity, in no way taking into account the perceived aesthetic beauty or coolness of the ideas involved. Hancock's Razor slices more broadly and in a variety of patterns, all equally provable without assuming the simplest to be correct.

Fully formulated in conjunction with his longtime companion and associate, Douglas Henning (1982 - ), Delaney's popularization of Hancock's Razor has progressed slowly. In the future, some speculate, it may become the foundation of a new paradigm of scientific and speculative thought, but for now, its general knowledge is limited.

For more information regarding Hancock's Razor, study and apply the patterns of argument employed in Graham Hancock's works in one's everyday life and thereby make the discussion of history and science more interesting with reference to unknown quantities.

See also:

• Occam's Razor, Hanlon's Razor, Remington's Razor
• philosophy of science
• scientific reductionism
• KISS Principle

Has anyone actually checked the validity of this? I think it could be changed to be more correct as:

"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the more ridiculous and/or "cooler" one is more likely to be believed by the average sucker on the street."

Sort of an anti-thesis or compliment to Occam's Razor--ZayZayEM 08:42, 11 Oct 2004 (UTC)

New stuff from Wave

The equation is always changing, always. All our 'equations' are false equations, based on drawing out a segment of something that has already passed out of manifestation.

Light is a waveform which penetrates its resonance through to 5th dimensional space-time. Electromagnetism occurs on the 3rd dimensional membranal manifested universe. This universe, consisting of ripples and interesecting ripples (Interference Patterns)) describes the system of potentialities that manifest from the implicate order. When these potentialities are fully realised in the explicate order, which limits, they become temporarily fixed in the inaccurate mind of the observer, but are in fact still constantly changing, namely decomposing, and simultaneously being perceived in ways without number by sentient beings of various scale and thought.

All waves propogate through a medium. The 'aether' was a correct assumption, but incorrect in its materialisation. The 'aether' is actually the network which binds humanity, the Solar System, the Galaxies, the Universe, all matter on all scales within our physical universe. This aether is a membrane. This membrane itself is vibrating, as well as acting as a medium for motion, energy and, above all, information.

Everything is information.

Khranus

From Education

Actely, Education is long for Bad.

Evidently, you don't get enough of the word. Jenaisis 17:49, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

From Cat

In cat language, "me" means "I love you", and "ow" means "go away". Therefore, they say "meow".

• Actually, "me" means "I hate you" and "ow" means "feed me".

-Actually, you're both wrong. "Me" means "I" and "ow" means "just hurt myself"-

You're all right! Yaaaay!

I'd have to dig out my texts which are much buried, but it is actually somewhat true. "Me" is a positive communicative response, equatable to "I like you", "yes", "oh yeah that's the spot", or just in general a friendly response. "Ow" is a very negative "fuck off" type response, and the combination of the two in "Meow" is somewhat nuetral (considering cats' dispositions it's no surprise that "Meow" is the most common variant).

From Siraj-ud-Dowla

"one time i saw jesus in a banana and he told me to visit this website. four years later i finally did. finishing the last details on the perrenial driver, he spoke of far away lands inhabited by villainous creatures of all sizes. sitting in a semi cirlce around him we all prayed for the distant cousin of the four year plan: the sumarian. blanketed in an animal's fur he stormed the entrance to the garage and placed his club rather boisteriously on the work bench. "Forever and never again!", screamed the bandit.

i'll never forget that day. inward restraint"

   I think I can now see how the bible might have been written

From Talk:Jesus Christ

"this article is such a dog's breakfast, and will remain one." A constructive statement by User:Adam Carr

From American Revolution

The American Revolution was a war where monkeys and hamster fought for a orange banana named bob.

See also: Banana Massacre, Hamster Tea Party, Monkey Revolution, Proclamation of 2999, Stamp The Hamster Congress, Bob The Orange Banana's Crazy Adventures

Wikimail

WikiEN-l Compare Mother Teresa article to Pokeman article by User:Fred Bauder

Take a look at how criticisms are handled in the Pokeman article. I think this is a reasonable way if all material is to be put into one article.

Pokémon

Fred

From Iwato

The Iwato Conference (1801)was a post Civil War conference held in New Brunswick Canada, this conference was the area of many disputes between Archduke Lawson of Neom and Justin Clark of Edinborough. Archduke Lawson was delegetated as the primary speaker to inform the public of the incoming onslaught of Kumarians, a ruthless band of Canadian natives. Lawson was under the impression that the Kumarians posed a serious threat, however Clark was not. In the end the Kumarians stormed the conference slaughtering all that were in it.

From Talk:Forms of Address in the United Kingdom

This is the talk page of a large complicated table of the correct forms of address for different members of upper society

the timeline of .....that...thing....that i cant spell.

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