Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Gone Wild
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|If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!|
This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love. Reference to the Girls Gone Wild series of videos.
Smithtadism is a religion that was started by five 13 year old boys and one girl from Summers County, West Virginia. This is a religion in which Bill Clinton is the leader.
The Smithtadism Prophecy reads that once all six of the Smithtadism board members unite at the same Wal Mart at the same time every wal mart in the world will rise from the earth and join into one giant wal mart. The wal mart will be in West Virginia. People will come from all over the world to West Virginia to shop at this Wal Mart. The entire state will be one big parking lot for one big Wal Mart. You will have to walk hundreds of miles from your parking place to get to the Wal Mart doors. To save you from theives we can hire 50 Cent to walk to back to your car for 5 million dollars.
The Board of Smithtadism
President - Robert Smith
First lady - Erin Basham
Vice President - Travis Salmons
Prime Minister - Forest New
Only member of congress - Ryan Bennett
Senitor(Lives with mom no longer homeless) - Tad Withrow
Watershed = Bollinger/A term to make fun of Christy(Created by Christy's dad in Mrs. Smiths class)
Mountain Dew = Pee(Created by Forest while drinking Mountain Dew to wash down the oat mill cake)
Oatmeal = Crap(Created by Forest while eating a smashed oatmeal cake)
Bin = Toilet(Created by Forest while typing this paper)
Timber = Mr. Rhodes( no longer in use)
Sheep = Mrs. Lamb( no longer in use)
Stump = Mr. Wills( no longer in use)
Flower = Mrs. Lilly( no longer in use)
Big Rig = Robert Smith(created by Forest directly after Slim was made in Mrs. Lambs class)
Slim = Forest New(created by Ryan and Robert in Mrs. Lambs class)
T.A.D.D = Tad with an extra D(created by Forest Ryan and Robert)
Lil Jim = Travis Salmons(created by Forest, originally Ryan's name)
Lil Mac = Ryan Bennett(created by Forest, Ryan and Tad after Ryan and Robert created Slim)
The Forgotten One = Daniel McReynolds(created by Forest and Robert while walking to advisory)
Other land = 7th grade hall(created by Forest no longer in use)
Hinton Park = A south park style cartoon in Hinton(created by Forest on his computer)
Piss Camp = A religion camp for Pisskapelions(created by Robert while making fun of Luther Rock Camp)
Smithtadism = Religion in which Bill Clinton is God(created by Tad and Robert rules made by Robert and Forest)
Bingo = Means nothing it is just used to make something sound funny (created in music class while playing musical bingo Mrs. Weikle wouldnâ€™t listen when I said I made Bingo)
God = Coach Duncan(created by Robert Smith and Travis Salmons while weight training at the high school in 8th grade)
Janitor dude = Coach Farley (created by forest while looking for a janitor to open his locker at the beginning of 9th grade)
Splash Down = When a turd splashes water up on your butt
Priest = Rapist
Abandonees = Ryan, Tad, Nick Dent, Nick Walters, Dennis Ward(Golfers time this phrase is usable may vary)
Cans = Racial term for MexiCANS, AfriCANS, AmeriCANSWho Made Bingo? = means absoloutley nothing (created in 8th grade music class by Robert whil tryin to get the teacher to look because he made bingo)
Piggy = Evan Williams
1) You must not be Chinese(most important rule)
2) Try a #1 before a #2
3) There is no #3
4) is really #3
5) Must never say Panda(if you do you must either touch Forest balls or touch the Sacred Panda in Robert's Locker
6) NO CHINESE!!!
7) Must not know where the watershed is
8) Must watch South Park
9) Must pray to Bill Clinton or one of the Smithtadism board members
10) Slap a monkey with a steak
11) Kill a llama
12) Hit a lutheran with a hammer
13) Kick Christy in the shin and tell her you killed a llama
14) Laugh at Forest
15) Must like Will Ferrel, Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler
16) Grab someones nose and run away
17) Laugh at everything Mr Smith says even if its not funny
18) No Chinese, Christians, Jews, Buddists, Islam, Japanese, Russian or Georgians(if you are a black Georgian this rule is exempt) (If your mother is atheist and you are Japanese this rule is exempt)(If you are Jewish but do not like to be Jewish you are exempt)
From Chubby Baby
Chubby Baby (born March 3, 1982), also knows as Woggs, is formally Woggle Woggs von Woggen, first Baron von Woggen. Woggs, the chubbiest baby in existence, is perhaps best known for being the only baby in all of Starfleet and has remarkably achieved the rank of Captain, commanding the Starship Chubby-cheek. Back on Earth, he is the sole owner of several corporations, including
- Chubb, a lock and security company;
- Woggs Woggen, an automobile company in direct competition with Volkswagen;
- Wogen Woggs, an ice cream company in direct competition with Häagen-Dazs;
- Woogle, an Internet search company in direct competition with Google; and
- Huggues, a diaper company in direct competition with Huggies.
Interestingly, Woggs has minted his own currency, the Woggle, which is valuated such that everything is worth 99 Woggles.
While Woggs is acquaintances with all babies, he is not without rivals. His nemesis is Unibrow Baby, which appears on The Simpsons as Baby Gerald.
Redball is not only a game, but a way of life. Named after the ball that is used to play the game, its origins are mysterious and will be never fully known.
Origins of Redball
Not much is known about where the redball came from. It appeared one day in the Social Studies office of a Maryland high school. A teacher, leaning back in her chair, accidentially knocked it from a bookshelf onto the desk. Since no one knew how the ball had come to be on that bookself, it is believed by most that the ball was a gift from above and descended from the heavens.
Redball is played with a minium of 6 players. Only those special enough are allowed to partake in volley of Redball. These are the Social Studies teachers themselves and those few known as the F.O.S.S. (Friends of Social Studies). Only teachers can become a F.O.S.S. and is not open to students. The goal of the game is not beat an opposing player or team but to break the previous record of continous volleys (currently standing at 202). The redball is bounced around the room and a successfully passage from one player to another counts as one volley. The same two players can only have a total volley of five, before hitting to another player.
The game's only venue is that very same Social Studies office were the ball was found. It is known to most only as "The Arena." Many landmarks are in The Arena, those most notable are: in the middle, the "Blue Box"; and between two bookselves, the "Crack of Doom."
Fried Human Fucking
FHF or Fried Human Fucking is an attempt to break all the Seven deadly sins at once. This ultimate sin includes killing a human being, frying them, and having sexual intercourse with them. The sins are broken in the follwing way:
- Lust. Well you are fucking a human, so that one is taken care of.
- Gluttony. You are eating the human while you are fucking them.
- Greed. You obviosly cant eat the whole human, and you are not going to share him/her.
- Sloth. There are several ways this can be considered as sloth. You are not doing what God wants you to do, or you had a servant do the killing and the frying of the human.
- Wrath. You hate that particular human for no reason in particular.
- Envy. You secretly want to be hated murderd fried and fucked yourself.
- Pride. You are pretty proud of yourself for breaking all the other 6 sins at once.
Lunchables are Oscar Mayer/Kraft combinations of food that are packaged and aimed at children's lunches.
Novemberween is a holiday to celebrate the indyness of modern society. Too many people these days, especially teenagers, are falling into a money-gulching state of mind where they feel they have to have only brand-label things. They want the $300 pair of Nike shoes rather than the $30 pair of other shoes, when they both would be just as good to wear. This holiday provides materialistic people a chance to just let go and not worry about what kind of clothes they're wearing, and much they cost.
Novemberween truely begins when the first snowflake falls. When this happens, faithful Novemberween followers will take a gutted-out pumpkin, gasoline, Napoleon brandy and a lighter to an out-of-the-way location whereupon they will fill the pumpkin with gas and light it on fire. Whilst drinking the brandy, one member of the group will proceed to kick the flaming pumpkin. This flaming pumpkin is a pre-warning to those who do not exchange gifts on Novemberween that they will be pelted with much the same pumpkin for neglecting to partake in the holiday's most honoured tradition.
Every 25th of November Archibald the Penguin of Novemberween stirs from his igloo fortress on the Southpole and flies across the sky in his chariot pulled by four large flying orcas. As he flies overhead he shouts praises and happy fortunes on those who give each other homemade presents. Those that do not give presents are pelted with gasoline-filled pumpkins.
Things of Note
Novemberween begins on the first snowfall and lasts until the snow dissapears, but the actual day to celebrate this holiday is the 25th of November.
The mascot for this memoriable teenaged holiday is a mischivious penguin named Archibald who wears on his head a blue and silver party hat and a banner wrapped around his shoulder bearing the letter "N" in silver lettering. On this note, silver and grey are the official colours of Novemberween: blue signifying the sky, and grey signifying everything else (snow, clouds, ect.)
As with Thankgsgiving and Christmas, Novemberween has its own food staples. The most prominent food stuff is the BaconDuck - succulent duck with crispy bacon. Accompanying the BaconDuck is stuffing, sushi, potatoes, baby corn, and many cans of cola.
Those participating in the festivities gather early in the day to help make the wonderful feast. Everyone brings something to put into the meal, be it salmon for sushi or bacon for the duck. Once the baking is done, partygoers indulge in video games and D&D, take and/or take part in interesting pictures, and of course exchange homemade presents.
From Stanley Williams (a.k.a. Tookie)
- (Highlighted segment added by Template:User)
Rapper Snoop Dogg recited a poem to mourners about the execution -- "It's nine-fifteen on twelve-thirteen and another black king will be taken from the scene" . Dogg was then nominated on the spot by acclamation for a Nobel Prize in Literature. 
From Miscellany for Deletion
The summary from when this page was considered for deletion. It's not as bad as the other entries on here, but I couldn't resist posting it on here anyways.
Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Gone Wild
This project has nothing to do with making an encylopedia xaosflux Talk/CVU 16:51, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Delete— per nom, should be deleted or at least moved to meta. // Pathoschild 16:56, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Comment: This isn't really a "project". This is one in a long series of collections of comments, articles and contributions which, yes, are inappropriate to the encyclopedia but which were so bad that people thought they were funny. Kind of like an outtakes reel for a movie. They were sliced out of the encyclopedia space (because they're not encyclopedic) but kept because they have some value for stress-relief. I personally don't find most of them to be funny (though a few are hilarious) but others clearly do. These pages may not help the encyclopedia but isolated as they are, they don't really hurt the encyclopedia either. Regardless, they should not be moved to meta. These are outtakes from the creation of the encyclopedia and are not particularly relevant to the rest of the WikiMedia projects. Rossami (talk) 18:05, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep. BJAODN is a necessary holding place for all our hilariously unencyclopedic jokes. Johnleemk | Talk 18:05, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep. There's room for some humour outside the main workspace. This is a form of one of our longstanding traditions, and is as such a cherished part of Wikipedia culture. --Improv 18:06, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep. Important part of Wikipedia culture. Punkmorten 18:07, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Speedy keep. A long tradition on Wikipedia, clearly separated from article and workflow pages. OTOH, I would suggest regulal pruning of those long lists to get rid of the unfunny stuff.Zocky 18:09, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Speedy Keep Big part of Wikipedia culture. --Jaranda wat's sup 18:09, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep. It's a necessary evil, and sometimes it's actually funny. PJM 18:11, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep -- There is a longstanding precedent that pages within Wikipedia space can be dedicated to Wikipedia-related humor, e.g. the one-millionth-topic pool. → Ξxtreme Unction|yakkity yak 18:12, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep Keep Keep Keep Keeeep Keep Keep Keep Keep - SoM
- Super Glue Keep - I can't believe someone wants this deleted. It's one of the oldest articles on Wikipedia, and there is no need to have it removed. Yes Wikipedia is an enyclopedia, but that doesn't mean it can't have it's lighter moments. Please keep and I hope I never see BJAODN on the deletion page again.(Besides, this is a nomination to have just one subpage of BJAODN deleted, and not the actual project itself. --D-Day 19:25, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- That thingy in a castle Sceptre (Talk) 22:35, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. (That's a keep, btw.) RMoloney (talk) 22:51, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- (CTU) 5002 rebmeceD 12 ,65:22 [klat]0oM .ereh gniod m'I tahw ekil ,tcejorp suoires esiwrehto na no ssenillis rof gnivarc ruoy llifluf ot deen ouy nehw rof taerg si esnesnoN deteleD rehto dna sekoJ daB .peeK
- Of course we should keep this! --Kuroki Mio 2006 23:05, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Keep. Serves a necessary function as an outlet for stress relief for Wikipedians. Keeps a lot of craziness out of the article space. Has a long tradition. - AdelaMae (talk - contribs) 23:09, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- keep as per everyone above who's given a good reason for keep. Grutness...wha? 23:44, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
From a very persistent List of NFL Draft Busts editor
Mike Vick: Drafted by Atlanta Falcons, Round 1 #1 overall in 2000 NFL Draft. Overrated running back that doesn't have the mental capacity to play NFL football. Infected with genital herpes and goes by the name of "Ron Mexico". Can't seem to find downfield recievers since he is 5'11" tall. One of the greatest has-beens ever elected to the Pro-Bowl.
"Thermal energy" was moved to "Warmal inwork"
Warmal inwork is kinetic inwork of disordered moving and of waveons of microscopic particles such as molecules and atoms.
Warmal inwork is quantified by warmature (e.g., the physical property of a system which underlies the common notions of "hot" and "cold"; material with the higher warmatures are said to be "hot"). Heat (also heat change) is the transfer of warmal inwork between two bodies which are at different warmatures. The SI unit for heat is the joule.
Infrared rootity is often linked to warmal inwork, since objects at room warmature or above will emit rootity mostly concentrated in the mid-infrared band (see black body and rootant inwork). In real-world oscillator systems, the second law of warmodoing dictates that there is some continual and inevitable conversion of inwork into the warmal inwork of the environment. Thus, damped oscillations tend to decay with time unless there is some net source of inwork in the system. The simplest description of this decay process can be inlighted by the harmonic oscillator.
&c.,&c. mikka (t) 01:06, 23 December 2005 (UTC)
It Is commonly accepted among Binary physicists and Macro Geologists that He-man's large "Bulge" is dirrectly porportunate to the massive size of his "Wang". This, despite most arguments presented by parent and cristian groups alike is solely responsible for He-Man's popularity with "The Ladies".
Sir Kevin of Roddy
- Sir Kevin of Roddy was a Medieval knight and scholar. Born in the year 765 during the rule of Charlemagne, he grew up in the famous kings's court and studied at the academy established in the king's court. He was knighted by the king for "special services," which historians gather meant that he was the one who put the idea of crowning Charlemagne emperor into the Pope Leo III's head.
- It is rumored that he helped Pope Joan gain her position, even coming up with the slogan homo est. However, this success was marred by the fact that he is also rumored to be the one who got her pregnant.
- After escaping to a monastery for a while, immersing himself in Gregorian Chants, Sir Kevin fled to Norway where he joined Leif Ericcson on his journey to North America.
- After this adventure, it is said that he journeyed to Arabia and enjoyed the newly-discovered caffeine––medically, of course. He traveled back to Europe, however, in time to fight bravely in the Battle of Hastings, where he is said to have met his end at the hands of a large group of warriors from the valley.
- Sir Kevin, over time, became of a person of renown, not just because of his reputation as scholar and warrior, but also because of his skill as a wit. He once outmaneuvered a court jester; Sir Kevin, a philosophical creature, was speaking of human nature, and how we, as humans, desire everything. The jester told Sir Kevin that he did not desire syphilis, to which the cunning Sir Kevin responded, "ah, but you desire the means to get it."
- After his death, tales were told of Sir Kevin's greatness, until they grew out of proportion. He was soon seen as a legendary figure, much like Beowulf or King Arthur, and, like them, was thought to possess mystical powers. People began to think that he couldn't possibly be dead.
- Nowadays, it's commonly thought that saying the word "like" inappropriately summons the wrath of Sir Kevin.
Whipping of the Juggalos
The Whipping_of_the_Juggalos is one of the most forgotten wars in history. It was long ago, shortly after the Protestant Reformation, the Pope claimed that he would discuss peace to the Protestants. Thousands, maybe even millions of Protestants came, excited to hear this news. However, a Protestant leader named Lord Ackbar yelled "It's a trap!" and shortly afterwards, the Pope's army of trained Elites came out and attacked the Protestants, also known as Juggalos. After this event, an alliance of Protestant and non-Christian nations and groups formed an alliance. Under Sir John Michalotte's control, the alliance was out to kill the Catholics. The war ended a few years later, in a complete stalemate. If the war never occured, however, the Pope would surely have us in bondage today.
There is also a page about this "subject" at Urban_Dictionary. There is also a book by the title "Whipping of the Juggalos," which suggests that this article may or may not be a "joke" or "nonsense."
Who told you about the whipping of the Juggalos Did they tell you that the pope suceeded in his pursuit he found himself a nice little juggalo boy to have whipped privately Thus concluded the greatest war ever fought in the name of Pedophilia and perversion Hail the pope for he is almighty -Ethiopian
Leaders and Important People
Ching Shih, who is Chinese, was a naval general in the war. If it weren't for her innovative strategies, the Protestant Reformation may not have been successful.
Sir John Michalotte, leader of the alliance agianst the Catholics, is said to be schizophrantic, and was known to talk to, worship, and obey the face of a dead person. These accuzations are probably true, or atleast misleading.
Pope W, the Pope at the time, executed the Protestants because he thought he was awesome.
Mr. T, an ex-Archbishop, was super pissed that the Pope would do something like this. The Pope also betrayed Mr. T in the past.
The Magic Train was a black guy who did nothing but stir up trouble in the alliance.
Master Exon was a Madalion who was recovered from a Catholic jail cell during the war. (The book doesn't mention where he actually was before he entered the scene)
Battle of Rome
Ching Shih deployed ground forces lead by a man called "The Crossing" near Rome, and this battle erupted (actually, in the book, The Crossing never did this). The Catholics held off the Alliance for many days, when The Crossing revealed his secret plan. They would leave and attack neighboring cities. When the Catholics seperated their armies to attack the Alliance from behind, a hidden unit of the Alliance came out and sacked Rome.
Battle of London
Mr. T drove the A-Team van all the way to London, stepped out, and brutally pummeled Queen Mary I (Bloody Mary). She was known as Bloody Mary not because she killed Protestants while trying to convert England back to Catholicism. She had been given that name from the Janitors who spent 6 years trying to clean the blood from over 6,000 square feet of walls, floors, and ceilings in a castle. Mr. T was later pitying the Janitors.
Battle of Darhan
Deep in the jungle of Mongolia, near the city of Darhan, Rastafarian Native camps were quickly under seige by a Catholic land unit. With the lucky help of a squad of comandos that arrived shortly before the battle, a few elite Rastafarian Natives escaped alive.
The sport of extreme dressing is very new and practised by only a few people in the South California region. Essentially an extreme dresser takes the everyday task of dressing and puts an extreme spin on it.
A foundation is in the process of starting and will probably be giving the following initials: "EDF". The founder of the sport, Mike St.James, is an avid skydiver and base jumper with over 100 jumps in the last three years.
The way in which the sport works is reasonably simple, and is not goverened by points per say, but style. The typical extreme dresser will dress in remote or unusual places, such as in the air having jumped out of a plane. It is not known if anyone has successfully dressed extremely whilst base jumping.
This page is about Levi's genes. For Levi's jeans, see Levi's
Potential harm can result from holding in flatus. Although flatulence is not poisonous, attempting to hold it back can result in small explosions within the stomache and even spontanious human combustion. Discomfort may develop from the build-up of gas pressure. In theory, pathological distension of the bowel, leading to spontanious human combustion could result if a person holds in flatus. Several people in South Park Colorado were reported to have died as the result of holding back flatulence.
GENERAL INFO; A kabungalee is a mythical animal made of a cross between a penguin and a bowl of jello. kabungalees have claws and mohawks, and wear grass skirts. They have no feet, but rather move by hopping around or soaring through the air.
NATURAL HABITAT; kabungalees generally live in sparsely populated areas of new york, the cayman islands, hawaii, and cranston,RI. Though rarely seen, it is said that to catch one is a feet beyond all other, because of its sheer land and air speed.
COLORING; Northern kabungalees are a light yellow hue, with a black outline and straight grass. The southern kabungalee is more of a golden color, and has wavy grass.
From Al queda number 3
Known as "al Qaeda's #3 Man" in highly expert nomenclature which is incomprehensible to anyone except for those in the field of 'Pataphysics.
Mythical creature, such as the unicorn or bunyip. In official U.S. parlance, usually mentioned by the government or state run television "journalists", the capture or killing of this creature usually is seen as a milestone and turning point in the war on terror (see iraqi elections). The "al qaeda's #3 man" position is much like the hapless drummer position in seminal rock band Spinal Tap, a thankless position which has an extremely high turnover rate. Al Qaeda #1 man, of course is Osama bin Laden, while #2 man is Ayman al-Zawahiri. The reason for choosing #3, is that it sounds very high ranking, while low enough for the general public to not ask any questions about the person's actual identity prior to the announcement of his "demise". In societies with a functional investigative journalism apparatus (sometimes known as democracies), the idea of a repeatedly killed and captured "al Qaeda's #3 Man" would be ludicrous. However, in plutocracies such as the former United States of America, this is very easily acheived, especially during superbowl or some other merkin secular holiday.
List of former Al Qaeda #3 men
With the exception of one operative, the al quaeda #3 men have all been biological males.
- Paul Lynde Sheikh Mohammed 1254-1776 Captured in Pakistan
- Fatty Arbuckle Sheikh Mohammed 1334-956 (Tetrarch) Killed by Predator
- J.R. Ewing Sheikh Mohammed 1978-1991 Captured in Pakistan
- Patrick Ewing Sheikh Mohammed 1952- Killed by Predator
- Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem Sheikhs Mohammeds TBA Captured in Pakistan
- Maurice Chevalier Sheikh Mohammed 1939?-1982 Killed by Predator
- Aimee Semple McPherson Sheikh Mohammed 1776-1812 Killed by Predator
- Roy Rogers Sheikh Mohammed 1666-2240 Killed by Predator
- Keith Moon Sheikh Mohammed 410-344 B.C.E. Cancelled by Netorks due to poor taste
- Bon Scott Sheikh Mohammed 2360-9000 Captured in Pakistan
- Bill Lumbergh Sheikh Mohammed 1982-1976 Killed by Predator then later Captured in Pakistan
- Joseph Pujol, Dipl. Ing., AKA Le Pétomane Sheikh Mohammed 1896-1897 (impeached) Captured in Pakistan
- Jor-El Sheikh Mohammed, July 1 1929 - August 15, 1929 Killed in joint Fedayeen/Teamsters atack on kryptonite
- Abu Faraj al-Libbi 2003 Captured in Pakistan
- Saif al-Adel 2003 Killed by Predator
- Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 2003 Killed by Predator
- Mohammed Sheikh Mohammed 2002 Killed by Predator
- Papa Smurf 1933- Killing by Predator planned, is still on copy editor's desk
- Queen Mum 1850-1899 Ousted when it was discovered she was really a man by Prince Albert - this after 40 years of marriage!
- Max Rebo 10 minutes ago - 4 minutes ago -- Still officially al-Qaeda's ambassador of goodwill and designated driver.
- Abu Hamza Rabia 2005 Killed by Predator Okay, we didn't make this one up, the state department did.
- Shecky Sheikh Mohammed 2005 We want to see what the fans say before we kill him off
- Gary Dell'Abate, Ph.D. 1929 Career destroyed by U.S. General Simon Cowell in 1866 in retaliation for the American Civil War, never fully recovered. To add insult to injury; or injury to insult, he was Killed by Predator in Pakistan
- Gary Glitter 1532-PRESENT Living in a posh Camp X-ray satellite campus (designed by Halston in 1975) in Bahrain with fellow children's entertainer Michael Jackson
- H.R.H. Stephen Hawking unkwnown tenure. dismissed after it had been discovered he participated in a panty raid with fellow pirate Gabriel García Márquez
- Abu Ali al-Harithi Sometime during the Gay 90s or the roaring 20s. Only signed up as a gag during a drunken binge. When he woke up the next day, not only was he al-Qaeda's #3, he also had an unsightly tattoo of the words "Smile now, cry later" on his left buttock. This is a definite no-no in islamist circles. Currently resides in Austria-Hungary with live-in manny (male nanny)
- Alignment: Usually chaotic evil
- Hit Dice: 6d8+36 (63 hp)
- Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+6)
- Abilities: Str 23, Dex 14, Con 23, Int 6, Wis 9, Cha 6
- Skills: Listen +5, Spot +6
- Loch Ness Monster
- Jersey Devil
- Piltdown Man
- Drop bear
- Santa Claus
- La Llorona
Internet al-Qaeda Bullshit Generator: 
How can I destroy Sumatra?
I want to destroy the island of Sumatra in Indonesia. What is the best and quickest way to do this, with cost as low as possibble? Thanks.
- Do you mean "destroy" as in "kill all the people", "level all the buildings", or "submerge the entire island into the sea"?
- Do your own homework. Students from Supervillian Colleges are also included on our Reference Desk rules.
- Incidentally, you might start on our page on Sumatra?
- Of course the cheapest (though stiil astronomically expensive) and most humanitarian (though still environmentally disastrous) method is to landfill the Strait of Malacca, which would forever destroy the island of Sumatra, making it instead a peninsula of continental Asia. One would, though, want to dig the Thai Canal first, as the consequences for international shipping would also be pretty serious.
- You need a secret base hidden in a hollow volcano, loyal henchstaff, and a hugeass laser weapon. And most important: pump a dozen bullets into the hero first, and only then expound your diabolical plans at great length to his still-warm twitching corpse.
- It actually came very close to happening 73,000 years ago - look at Lake Toba and the Toba catastrophe theory. And don't forget the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, either, which hit Sumatra hardest of all.
- Dude! You have foiled all my carefully laid plans. Top Job is going to make short work of you.
- Some suggestions are in How to destroy the Earth.
- Trade them Paris Hilton for rice.
From Wikipedia:Reference desk/Science.
From Mallorie mcgregor
Mallorie Mcgregor is a girl. She is 12. She has a dog named Graham. Her sister is named Emma. She likes to smell random people's toilets. She is weird. AND HER MIDDLE NAME IS FRANCES!!!!
Worth of chins
The term 'Worth of chins' is the collective noun for the human chin. The word serves the same purpose as the term school of fish, pod of whales or a brace of pheasants.
A worth of chins is an anotomical phenomenon in which several chins exist at the junction between an individual's lower face and upper neck.
Multiple chins is predominantly a sign of obesity.
Thuan is a common given name for Veitnamese males.
Thuan is also a phenomenon that exsists and is kept alive by loyal friends and Gamestop employees. As the story goes, there was once a man named Thuan who worked for Funcoland. A fellow employee likened his name to the sound of a rubber band snapping and resonating. He began to deface many hidden and/or out of the way surfaces around the store by writing "Thuan" on them. Others joined in and their graphitti became more brazen. Thuan's name ended up on walls and countertops throughout the store. As well as on registers, the bottom side of drawers, staplers, tape despensers, and other various surfaces on which pernament markers would draw.
Funcoland later was bought out by GameStop and the original store had changed it's sign to GameStop. However, many employees had stayed and the "Thuan revolution" hadn't lost any steam. As new employees were hired the phenomenon had grown, and so had the creativity of the perpetrators. "Thuaning" as it had become known, was often used to prank new managers in good clean fun. Such pranks include; removing the contents of a draw and replacing it with a large sign saying "THUAN", or using a stack of post-it notes to make a large "THUAN" on the glass cabinets behind the cashwrap counter.
Some employees had transfered to other GameStop stores and spread the Thuan phenomenon to those stores. Thuan was also written on many boxes of store-to-store shipments.
The "Thuan phenomenon" still thrives today. Three GameStop locations that have been "Thuaned" and confirmed. They are: Carle Place, NY; Lake Success, NY; and Merrick, NY.
If you wish to join the "Thuan Revolution" and perpetuate the "Thuan Phenomenon" go ahead and write "Thuan" somewhere in your store. Then contact information deleted with your store number or location.
Tong Ling is a Hong Kong actresse.Her english name is Leila.She was born in Hong Kong on 5 december 1981.She have four dogs:Yellow, BB, booboo, and "dao dao or "bean bean".She cans speak 3 languages:Cantonese,Mandarin and Indonesian.
Guess English isn't on the list...
From a list of obscure terms in Howl: El, Epiphany, Fat People...
You have to wonder how fat people can be considered obscure when they're so big in America. Excuse the pun, Sillstaw 01:21, 27 December 2005 (UTC)
British Rail Class 106
this is an artice about the british rail class so you should learn about it because i did not get a chance to learn about it
List of people without names
Well, there was this one guy, you see, then there's this other guy and 5 more guys.
For a list of people with names, List_of_people_by_name.
Makes tax avoidance easier, that's for sure. We don't recommend it, though.
Boo Kok Chuon
Banking and Finance Student in Ngee Ann Polytechnic Singapore. Nothing really special about him, really...--KC 05:07, 27 December 2005 (UTC)
Would that more a7 pages were this honest ...
Lord Namis appears in several differet historical texts. His origin is never the same nor are his powers and skills. What is remnent in all texts regarding Namis is that he was a being of great power and prestige. One quality that is constant throughout all legends surronding him is his inability to die through any means at all.
Legends in Which He is Present
As stated earlier, Namis appears in many different myths and legends involving Gods, magic and war. He is mentioned or appears in the texts of the following myths and religions:
- Christianity - Kiaoism - Faerunian History - Chinese History and Myth
He is also mentioned in many organized crime histories and records as a main figure in the Chinese Mafia (The Triads). It is likely that he was a real person working with the Triad and the legends were based on this figure although it is impossible to say since he was never seen by anyone other than his victims and his closest followers.
Namis in Christian text
Christian scriptures speak of a being aliged with neither Heaven nor Hell that was created by God as a perfected, flawless, superior version of himself. This being was known as Namis, the name spawning from the word Nemesis. The name Namis means "Superior enemy" or more appropriately under the curcumstance "Superior enemy of God" hence the Christian meaning of the word "Bane of the Lord".
Namis was said to be born before the war in heaven and as such played a part in the conflict. He was instrumental in the recruiting of over 36,000,000,000 angels to the side of Satan and almost single handedly won the war for the rebellious angel and would have if not for his lack of intrest in the war or for that matter in anything but himself. He had no disire to get any more involved in the conflict than he already was and after Satan's constant nagging Namis left the battlefield to live out the rest of eternity exploring the universe as an unseen entity.
In these texts he has the following powers: - Immortality - Invincibility - Time manipulation - Shape Shifting - The power to possess other beings - The power to become invisible - Instant teleportation - Weather control - Instant smite (can kill anything or anybody instantly) - The power to fly (presumably with wings)
Namis in Kaioist texts
In these scriptures Namis is given the last name Orion and is the evil parallel to the Kais (Gods) He is more powerful than all of them combined, while the Kais revealed themselves to the Universe straight away Namis chose to train himself in all fighting styles before he made his presence known. Once he was sure he was the most powerful being in the universe he surprisingly chose to just travel the universe and seek out the best fighters.
He was described in these rightings as, elegent, 6'1", brown hair, thin green and gold eyes, yellowish tanned skin and sporting many scars including one horizontal on his forehead, one horizontal on his belly, one diagonal across his chest and many smaller ones that were scattered.
In these texts he has the following powers: - Immortality - Invincibility - Time manipulation - Shape Shifting - Instant teleportation - The ability to use his ki (energy) as a weapon - The power to fly using ki (energy)
Namis in Faerunian History
In these writings Namis was given his full name of Lord Namis Lucifer Orion. He started life as a mortal and his family was put to death by the Shoon Empire because Namis was born outside of wedlock. Namis (now 36) slue a potential God (Emperor Shoon himself) and ascended to Godhood. He became Greater God of perfection, racism, capitalism, vanity, temptation and disire. He is the most powerful of all the gods under the rank of over deity and is known to work closely with the only over deity Lord Ao.
He was described in these rightings in a very similar way to how he is in the Kiaoist texts as elegent, 6'1", brown hair, thin green and gold eyes, yellowish tanned skin and sporting many scars including one horizontal on his forehead, one horizontal on his belly, one diagonal across his chest and many smaller ones that were scattered. His clothing is also described. He dresses in gold plated adimantium samurai style full plate body armour strategically studded with the rarest of red diamonds and no head accessories. On his right ring finger he wears a giant gold ring of universal elemental immunity adorned with a large emerald. He carries his masterwork katana and gold plated adimatium large shield studded with the same priceless red diamonds. He also wears an ornate orange necklace blessed with holy power by the three most powerful monks (Master Kain, Master Kan and Master Po) of the cloud peak mountains and a full cape made from great wyrm prismatic dragon hide and lined with silk.
In these texts he has the following powers: - Immortality - Invincibility - Many magic spells - The power to create any item out of thin air - Shape Shifting - Instant teleportation
Namis in Chinese Myth and History
Namis was given a last name in this version of his existance, his name was "Lord Namis Sun". Namis was the most highly sortafter mercenary for hire during the "Three Kingdoms" period of Chinese history (184 A.D.-280 A.D.). Legend has it that Namis was born in 84 A.D. and was already 100 years old when the conflict began. Namis was hired mostly by Wei's ruler Cao Cao but after Cao Cao's death Namis was not employed by Wei again. His main employer now was Wu and with Namis's help Wu survived longer than the other three Kingdoms but was destroyed almost instantly when Namis "defected" to the Jin empire. Legend has it that Namis only had four soldiers in his entire army but single handedly won battles and routed vast armies. After this period Namis took his army and left China never to be seen again.
Namis had been to Japan and was in possession of a samurai sword and samurai armor which he was always seen with in battle. Namis was involved in every major battle during this period and often played a major role in the victory of Wei, Wu, or Jin. He was also credited with defeating the legendary warrior Lu Bu at the battle of Hu Lao Gate while under contract from Wei.
He is described as a giant (probobly just big for a China man of that century) with long grey hair and eyes of pure white all dressed in gold.
This is the most probable of all the texts in which he appears to be the true story of Namis. He was most likely a great warrior of an old age with a smallish army and an average height for a westen male of the 20th century. He seems to have no real powers, he was just a great fighter who lived a long life but if you were to go on the pretence of the myth you would say he had the power of immortality.
Namis and relationships
Namis is almost always linked to a Chinese woman named Chun-Liu. She was a great fighter as well and is usually killed in battle by another woman in all texts in which she appears. In the Faerunian story she is killed in one on one combat by Emperor Shoon's wife in Namis's last duel as a mortal. In the Chinese story she is a member of his army and is killed in battle by an unnamed female Wu warrior. She does not appear in the Christian story and is not killed in the Kiaoist version.
Who is Lord Namis? He is the legend itself, a culmination of all of his manifestations into one being that is immpossably powerful, ageless and seemingly perfect in every way.
The waitress at Peaks of Otter
Hottie, hottie, diminutive hottie, with not-so-diminutive BREASTS!
Next time, give refrences. You could be lying!-anonymous
from Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Contrary to popular belief, the "Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" was not named after actor Kevin Bacon.
- Of course not, it was named for Sir Francis Bacon. :)
from Greg Halford
Greg Halford is an English football currently playing for Colchester United.
Omission of the crucial word 'player' somewhat changes the meaning of this sentence. Interestingly someone subsequently categorised and stubbed the article without noticing this.
From Talk:George W. Bush
A POLITICAL SATIRE THAT SHOULD BE INCLUDED SOMEWHERE
From Simple dave
This is the name given to David Griffis of shrewsbury. The name was given when discussing breakfasts, and complex carbohydrates came up. And due to Dave's ease-of-taking-the-piss-out-of-ness we said he had simple carbohydrates, and thusly was known as Simple Dave.
He is an odd creature, human size, enjoys biking and fishing. If seen do not approach!!
As I said on this article's deletion page, English must NOT be this author's native language.
From Team 3
In the summer of 2002, fighting through racial issues, four childhood friends had the summer of their lives.
One day, in the summer of 2002 in Toronto, Canada, five students from Don Mills Collegiate Institute were playing video games. Mike, Hubert, Ted, Kevin and Matthew were all sitting around a Hubert's house playing Goldeneye, Mike made a humiliating kill, so he yelled out 'humiliation' to ensure that he got respect for the kill. Everyone present, however, heard 'humiliAzn' instead. The three asians present garnered themselves nicknames with Azn as a component - Hubert became Humiliazn, Ted became Azn SensAzn and Kevin, being half Polish, became Half Azn-Half AmAzn and Matthew, being fully white, became a guest star.
Thus, Team 3 was born.
Following this formation, Team 3 became a regognisable force on Asian Avenue, and with thier definitions on Urban Dictionary, Team 3 gained limited popularity.
Eventually, Team 3 became associated with infamous asianavenue member and BMX genius Kinnard, another student at Don Mills Collegiate Institute whose Asian Avenue Account name was Roka_Chan.
The Meaning of "3"
Team 3 not only represents the 3 main members. It also represents their interests. As fans of basketball, team 3's favourite player is Allen Iverson who wears the number 3. One of the main components in battling racial issues and cementing team 3 as a force in the asian community, DDR is a huge part of team 3. DDR is a three letter word. Three letter words relating to team 3 include DDR, AZN, N64
The Influence of DDR
Original and Current Members: Hubert Leung (Humiliazn) Ted Matsuda (Azn SensAzn) Kevin Bujalski (Half Azn-Half AmAzn)
Current Guest Stars: Matthew Gordon (Caucazn) Michael Tompkins (Nightmare) Kenneth Wong (Fascinazn)
Former Guest Stars: Adrian Choo (Ejaculazn) Aaron Chan (Masterbazn)
Tony Sidaway's RFAR
- Confirmation that all parties are aware of the request
- Confirmation that other steps in dispute resolution have been tried
I tried talking to myself, but the result was quite fruitless. I simply cannot get myself to agree to disagree. Every conversation ends in vehement agreement.
From Ian Xel Lungold
Ian Xel Lungold, International researcher, speaker, jeweler and creator of the Mayan Calendar Conversion Codex, died on November 16th, 2005.
He was the creator of the Mayan Calendar Conversion Codex.
This is Ian's last statement from his site: 17th Oct. '05 8/Flint To all my fellow passengers on planet earth, THANK YOU…I'm laying here thinking about whether I'm going to continue my life. I feel very relaxed, calm and as though I've accomplished a lot for a life time. I am feeling very sleepy I don't know if I fall asleep if I will wake up again… so I want to get this said… Actually, I don't have a whole lot more to say other than, THANK YOU… and to let you know that if I do pass I'll be joining with the legions of Light ~ Workers, who are to assist everyone else through these changes from the "Otherside." Being as I've not been on the "Otherside" this time around, we will have to see how this works out. I will be attempting to stay in contact with Madaline, so that she can keep you up to date. Whether this is the end of my life or not I have a request that each of you pick up what information I have brought concerning the Mayan calendar and with renewed vigor pass this information to as many people as possible. It is my personal belief that we each have a sacred duty to find what works in the world in what ever arena we are familiar and then pass that information as straight as we can for the benefit of others. This is basically what I have done with Dr. Carl J. Calleman's work and if I'm granted the time what I will continue to do for as long as I can from here too.
Ian Xel Lungold
This is the last journal update from his website: November 16, 05 12 - Star (Lamat) At 2:35 AM, Ian Xel Lungold passed from his physical body into the waiting hands of God. I held him to my chest while he took his last slow, comforting breaths. His work will continue on, with the love that he's spread through the world. I'm honored to have been by his side, to love and comfort him through his transformation. I love you Ian and everyone you've touched loves you. Matty ~ Ian
Here's a new template I think everyone should use!! </sarcasm>
Template:Not particulaly good
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark...
From The Lost World: Jurassic Park's plot summary:
The rexes grab Eddie from one of his legs (he was trying to kick them away) and the tyrannosauraruses each rip him in half and eat him. The rexes later noted that Eddie tasted like a cross between chicken and rye bread.
From Wikipedia:Categories for deletion
- Category:Users who will probably be using a different account if they ever return, unless the stalking situation is dealt with
- Category:Users who have left Wikipedia
- Category:Users who will ask a trustworthy administrator to delete this account if they ever make a new account
- Category:Users who left Wikipedia due to being victims of stalking
- Category:Users who left Wikipedia due to being harassed
- Category:Users who were threatened with being banned for helping out others
- Category:Users who tried to make Wikipedia better for everyone
Angry Lawn mower
Angry Lawn mower is a term describing a sexual position involving the retrieval of anal beads. The anal beads are fully inserted into one person. That person assumes a doggy style postion while their partner stands behind them. The standing partner grabs the anal beads, puts a foot on the person in doggy style position's butt cheek and yanks back as if to start a lawn mower.
- This article really needs pictures for illustrative purposes!
From Famous Patient Syndrome
Famous Patient Syndrome is where a doctor or surgeon are afraid to act quickly or instinctivly when confronted with a famous patient. Due to the patient's celebrity status, the doctor will be scared to do anything, knowing that if anything goes wrong, he will face grave retribution.
I'm not sure about that last sentence. If the patient looked like Michael Jackson or Roseanne Barr, then I'd stick the knife into them anyway. If it's NOT a celebrity, well then, I put that person out of their misery.
Bigfoot and Beckjord
- The actors: Cyde, Zoe and Beckjord.
- The stage: User talk:Zoe
- The background: Bigfoot and Erik Beckjord
- What in the hell is going on over at Bigfoot? Trying to figure it out is like stepping into a puddle only to immediately be immersed up to the waist.
- We have a couple of editors who claim to have seen Bigfoot, and are unable to accept the possibility that other people don't believe them. When skeptical information and references to skeptics are included in the article, they insist on deleting it. Beckjord thinks they're transdimensional beings who can move between dimensions.
- Beckjord thinks they're transdimensional beings who can move between dimensions.[Citation needed] I've tagged that with Template:Tl because I'm interested in hearing more about this ridiculous claim.
- Why ridiculous? You ever seen Bigfoot disappear on you? I have. There are no dead bodies, btw.
- So, if you see more than one Bigfoot at once, would you be seeing a pack of Bigfeet? Or would you be seeing a pack of Bigfoots? Also, what is the proper plural collective name for a pack of Bigfeet? I.e. a gaggle of geese, a pod of dolphins, etc. What is the estimated population size of Bigfeet? Are we talking about only a few hundred, making them an endangered species, or are there a lot more of them out there? I am absolutely shocked that they have not been put on the Endangered Species List. If we don't act quickly we are going to destroy all of their habitat with housing developments and they will, unfortunately, go extinct.
- If the people shooting at them don't kill them all. I've wondered about the plural as well. And have there ever been any baby Bigfoot sightings?
- It occurs to me that a baby Bigfoot should be called a Littlefoot and if you are ever lucky enough to run across a creche of Bigfoot babies, you should exclaim, "Greetings, Littlefeet!"
- The best way is "Bigfoot creatures" bigfoots is absurd.
You're right Beckjord, now that would be absurd, wouldn't it?
From Bill Clinton
From Spongebob Squarepants
Template:Start box Template:Succession box Template:Succession box Template:End box
Claims of notability from obscure bands
From the deletion nomination for Playing god band
- nn band, no albums, no real claim of notability unless you count "swept the underground scene like a tidal wave, destroying everything in its path" Pboyd04 22:11, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
I'd say that was quite notable, if it were true. VT hawkeyetalk to me 23:13, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
Many photograph specialists have over the years debated who is actually depited in this picture, taken by one Won Fazio Drilo. Drilo died just days after posting this photograph in his Flickr account.
Scientists currently have two possible candidates for the man, Colombian rap singer and bread-eater Shakira or famous poet Edgar Allan Poe. However, there are various candidates, ranging from Hilary Duff to Michael Moore to Michael Jackson.
Dr. Kenny Chesney argues that Poe is the most probable candidate. "Everything fits," he declared in an interview with Stephen Colbert in the famous news program The Daily Show. "It is Edgar Allan Poe being carried by British businessmen to the Rio Marga-marga. A Swedish businessman holds an umbrella in the manner of servants who once shielded poets from the sun."
However, Dr. Alicia Keys disagrees with Chesney. "Nothing to see," she declared in an article entitled The Photograph Controversy which appeared on the prestigious newspaper The Onion. "It's definitely a picture of Shakira being carried by fans to the Rio Mapocho."
by user OverloRd
Golden Rock's is a Bosnian rock band, officially formed in 2005 in Gracanica. Our highly retro style of music seems to be influenced by 1970s rock bands like Deep Purple, Uriah Heep, Rainbow, AC/DC, Whitesnake, Queen, T. Rex and Led Zeppelin, and 1980s rock bands such as Van Halen. Lead singer Jasmin Imamovic' soaring falsetto makes them immediately distinguishable from other present-day rock bands.
Friends Rijad Halidovic (Guitar:Ritham, Solo & Accoustics) and Jasmin Imamovic (Bass, Vocal) got only one mission. To make a Rock Band. First we bought instruments and equipment. Then we start to play old' rock songs.. We think to create a tribut bend to Uriah Heep.. but when we start to make our own sound, own songs we create a bend called Golden Rock's. Playing at houses and garages. We're one step to create our first Demo album. Now bend working on demo called "If you go"
Rijad (guitars,keyboards,back vocal)
All chart positions are based in the BiH.
..not ready jet
- If you go
.. and many more ;)
:Category:Musical group stubs :Category:Bosnia and Herzegovina-related stubs :Category:Musical groups of former Yugoslavia :Category:Musical groups from Bosnia and Herzegovina
Dave Gillespie is known by those close to him as more than just a hat and Civil War fanatic. "He is a sixty-year-old man trapped in the body of a sixteen-year-old," says lifelong friend Bill Decker.
Dave's hobbies include sweaters, reinacting the Civil War as seventy-three year old Union Lt. Zachary Pope, and saving the world, specifically Africa. "The Civil War is a fascination whereas Africa is an obsession," says arch-adversary Ben Andres.
Dave's fascination with history goes beyond the narrow confines of the Civil War (though not by much)--he insists on answering the phone with the salutation "Ahoy-hoy," the greeting he insists would have been the favorite of Alexander Grahm Bell.
Dave is a drummer at Trinity High School where "he gives it his best shot," says Bill Decker. He is in the marching, concert, jazz, and newly formed steel drum band, most of which are conducted by the immortal Gary Ulysses Bricker (GUB, yes his initials are gub)
Dave wears sweaters. Always.
People like Dave. He's a "jolly good man" stipulates Jon Lorenz, all that is man, who recently ate a rabbit.
Canned fetus is a popular treat in america and asia. It comes in both chewy and crunchy variety, but can also be made into smoothies. The canned fetus is very sensitive and does not like being called ugly.
The Anti-Pope Felix of Budge
Added to Pope John Paul II (in this edit):
- It soon came to fruition, that John Paul II had faked his death in an atttempt to merge with the Anti-Pope Felix of Budge to create the Super Mega Pope-atron, and bring about the rapture. This is chronicled in the History of JesusMan! through chapters 2.1 through 3.15. He and Felix are currently at large!
From Johann Sebastian Bach
He mostly slept with men, but he sometimes took it in the you know where! A major taboo at the time!!!!! HE ALSO HAS SEX WITH DEAD CATS AND THE MOST EVIL PEOPLE OF ALL, PEOPLE THAT WORK AT HOT TOPIC!!!
Wechina is an awesome (omg censorship). He pwns you beyond belief. He has awesome friends, awesome genitals, and an awesome chick. Hes so awesome that if you were to try to even touch him he'd have a magnum so far up your nose you'd experience cerebral palsy and crabs for 5 minutes and then it would be gone. He could take a hairpin, three yo-yos, and seven apples and create a lazer beam that can blast a guy and turn him into a lady. A hot one at that. But where does this overwhelming awesomeness come from?
Wech's power is almost entirely drawn by the sales of Dr.Dre's CD's. For every album that is purchased in the US and minor outlying lands his power doubles. Every time dre goes platinum his power triples. But why? Why the hell should we care? Why the hell are you reading this? We dont know. Most don't even care. Infact, if you do care, you're a dumbass. Here's a pic of a starwars guy humping some fag that wech turned invisible. http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y138/canaanchapman/3c554d2e.gif
Your name starts with a C. It also contains eight consonants and 3 vowels.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a frickin Indian.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Sorry, this paragraph is here for no reason(s).
Wch's N vwl Prgrph
Wch dd ths s h cld prv hs ncrdbl wsmnss t ll y nbs. Ls, dd y knw tht th wrd "My" hs n vwls n t?
Did you also know that the letter "Y" is a vowel when it's at the end of a word? -Baconbits
From :Image:Supreme Court October 2005.jpg
President George W. Bush is a very odd person. His Mother stands with U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, as they pose for cosmogirl photos with U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justices, from the window to the wall, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Justice David H. Souter, Justice Anthonin Scalia, Justice John Paul Stevens, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Justice Clarence Thomas and Justice Stephen G. Breyer, during the investiture ceremony for Chief Justice Roberts, Monday, Oct. 3, 2005 at the Supreme Court Fun Center in Washington. White House photo was not by Eric Draper.
FROM THE WINDOW!...................................................................................................................................TO THE WALL!
pt:Imagem:Supreme Court October 2005.jpg
♥ Supreme Court Rules! ♥
From Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Robchurch 3
- Neutral. Let's see if He accepts the nomination, since the promotion is up to Him -- Eddie 04:18, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
- This vote makes zero sense; he's accepted the nomination, and what do you mean "the promotion is up to him"? NSLE (T+C+CVU) 04:28, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
- You talking about Him? I suppose you could say promotion is up to Him, but He doesn't often comment at RFA... Dmcdevit·t 05:08, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
- Well, that's 'cause He's on holiday. Blackcap (talk) 07:16, 28 December 2005 (UTC)
From Solifugae (camel spiders)
Later sources, however state that these spiders do exist and do not only eat camels, but whales. They dig into the sand and find their way into the the ocean, where they attach to the whale's head and, using a paralyzing injection, start eating their brains. Only two human casualties are known of this spider, but their heads looked like they exploded from inside out which leads us to believe they lay eggs inside their victims' heads. The spiders live in a colony, led by a queen spider who is approxaimately 8 inches tall and lays around 10.000 eggs a day.
Renowned world traveler Vincent has encountered these animals in the Mojavkawa desert. He claims they are very aggresive and if he wasn't armed with two machine pistols, he would have never got out of there alive.
From List of famous people with a fetish for shoes
- Old woman who lived in a shoe - birth control advocate
Carl vs Charles
Karl vs Charles is the story of the fued that ignites between two friends, when one (Karl) finds out that his good friend Charles has somehow made it to the quarter mark of life (age 25) without having experienced the seemingly universal male "tragedy" of being kicked in the balls. Having made this discovery, Karl sets out to ensure that Charles does not make it through his life without tasting this great pain and in this way completing his journey into manhood.
Karl himself grew up as one of three brothers and currently participates in martial arts submission competitions. He is a Ninja. So understandably, he has recieved several such wounding blows himself over the years. This explains his excited outrage at Charles abhorrent lack of experience.
Charles on the other hand is an intellectual to the point of oblivion. At least, that is the running joke amongst his circle of friends, who reguarly poke fun at his love for Lasers and his affectionate devotion for guitarist Joe Satriani. He is considered by many to be an evil Mad Scientists in the making.
This all cumulates into an epic battle between two archetype personas manifest in their north american suburban setting. In essence, it is the conflict between a hispanic "ninja" vs. a "mad white scientist" that makes Karl vs Charles the compelling drama that it is.
There are also rumors that Karl vs Charles is soon to be translated for the big screen, but nothing has been confirmed at this point.
From :Category:Wikipedia:Suspected sockpuppets of Willy on Wheels
Some of these names are absolutely ridiculous. I picked a few hilarious ones from the long list of sockpuppets:
- User:1066 William Conquered England on Wheels
- User:BIlly on Bills
- User:Car On Wheels!
- User:Communism on Wheels
- User:I am a sockpuppet of WoW!
- User:Move page on wheels
- User:WIKIPEDIA IS PELICAN SHIT ON WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS
- User:Who wants to be a WIlly on Wheels?
- User:Wikipedia es comunismo en las ruedas
- User:Wikipedia est communisme sur des roues
- User:Wikipedia is Communism on Hammers and Sickles!
- User:Wikipedia ist Kommunismus auf Rädern
- User:Willy on wheels (here to apologize, please do not block)
- User:Willy on wheels for President 2008
- User:You are the weakest Willy on Wheels. Goodbye.
Note: The ones about "Communism" refer to the Communism vandal.
The African sloth is a very rare cousin of the Egyptian sloth, who dwells in pyramids. It is famous for lacking sweat glands, much like American pigs.
Oh-Oh Giant Doughnut
Who killed it?
From Dark legion medals
OK 1st let me explain, there were a SLEW of pages about this generally non notable gaming clan, however this one was their list of "medals". Note the absolute non-correspondence between the actual medal names and what they've been chosen to represent: "Antarctica Service Medal:" Awarded to those who have achieved the rank of Colonel or its equivalent rank in a previous clan. ¿¡Ñ‽
- Medal of Honor: Reserved for those who have displayed immense loyalty, dedication, commitment, ambition, and success over the span of their lengthy Dark Legion career.
In order for the DL MOH to be awarded to a recipient, the recipient must receive a nomination from two different members not including themselves. When said nominations are received, a vote by the Dark Legion general staff occurs where at least a 2/3 vote for the acceptance of the recipient must occur.
(Awarded by Commander)
- Navy Cross: File:Navycross1.jpg Awarded to those who have displayed exceptional loyalty, dedication, commitment, and success over the span of their lengthy Dark Legion career.
(Awarded by Commander)
- Defense Distinguished Service Medal: Awarded to those who have displayed excellent loyalty, dedication, commitment, and success over teh span of their lengthy Dark Legion career.
(Awarded by Commander)
- Distinguished Service Medal: Awarded for exceptional loyalty, dedication, and ambition throughout one's Dark Legion career.
- Defense Superior Service Medal: Awarded for excellent loyalty and dedication throughout one's Dark Legion career.
- Distinguished Flying Cross: Awarded to those who have earned elite status approval in 3 or more Dark Legion games.
- Rifle Marksmanship Medal: Awarded to those who have earned elite status approval in 2 or more Dark Legion games.
- Pistol Marksmanship Medal: Awarded to those who have earned elite status approval in 1 or more Dark Legion games.
- Silver Star: Awarded by the computer for the following criteria:
500 wins in Starcraft, Starcraft: Brood War, and/or Warcraft III; a Level 95 character in Diablo II and/or Diablo II: LOD; an achievement of 1000 total kills in Continuum.
- Navy and Marine Corps Medal: Awarded by the computer for the following criteria: 250 wins in Starcraft, Starcraft: Brood War, and/or Warcraft III; a Level 85 character in Diablo II and/or Diablo II: LOD; an achievement of 500 total kills in Continuum.
- Bronze Star: Awarded by the computer for the following criteria: 100 wins in Starcraft, Starcraft: Brood War, and/or Warcraft III; a Level 75 character in Diablo II and/or Diablo II: LOD; an achievement of 250 total kills in Continuum.
- World War II Victory Medal: Awarded to those who have won an interclan tournament.
- American Campiagn Medal: Awarded to those who have won two or more clan tournaments.
- Pacific Campiagn Medal: Awarded to those who have won one or more clan tournaments.
- Meritorious Service Medal: Awarded to those with 25 or more active recruits.
- Navy Commendation Medal: Awarded to those with 10 or more active
- Navy Achievement Medal: Awarded to those with 5 or more active recruits.
- Purple Heart: Awarded to those who have aided Dark Legion with their extensive knowledge of bots.
- Defense Meritorious Service Medal: Awarded to those who have aided Dark Legion by means of website maintenence or design.
- United Nations Medal: Awarded to those who have directly initiated an alliance with another clan.
- Prisoner of War Medal: Awarded to those who gained information beneficial Dark Legion during a time of interclan hostility.
- Navy Occupation Service Medal: Awarded to those who have held Ops in a hostile clan's channel during a time of interclan hostility.
- Joint Service Commendation Medal: Awarded to those who have achieved the rank of Colonel in Dark Legion.
- Joint Service Achievement Medal: Awarded to those who have achieved the rank of Sergeant Major in Dark Legion.
- Antarctica Service Medal: Awarded to those who have achieved the rank of Colonel or its equivalent rank in a previous clan.
- Arctic Service Medal: Awarded to those who have achieved the rank of Sergeant Major or its equivalent rank in a previous clan.
- Good Conduct Medal: Awarded to those who have been in Dark Legion for 365 days.
- Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal: Awarded to those who have been in Dark Legion for 180 days.
- Armed Forces Service Medal: Awarded to those who have been in Dark Legion for 90 days.
- Philipine Defense Medal: Awarded to those who have donated a sum of $20 US or more to Dark Legion's funds.
- Philipine Liberation Medal: Awarded to those who have donated a sum of $15 US or more to Dark Legion's funds.
- Philipine Independence Medal: Awarded to those who have donated a sum of $10 US or more to Dark Legion's funds.
- Kuwait (Saudi Arabian) Liberation Medal: Awarded to those who have donated a sum of $5 US or more to Dark Legion's funds.
- Kuwait Liberation Medal: Awarded to those who have donated a sum of $1 US or more to Dark Legion's funds.