Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense: The Wrath of Bad Nonsense
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| If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources! |
The name of this page derives from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.
Arena cross[edit]
hemp is not marijuana i dont care what kyle says. Kyle likes chicken and potatos. Mike likes nipples. His nickname is nipples. Dirtbikes are fun and so are snowmobiles.
Never try riding arena cross after smoking hemp. Another important safety tip from the folks at Wikipedia.
You have two Wikipedias...[edit]
The following joke was deleted from You have two cows as an inappropriate self-reference. It's still funny, though...
This cow is a heifer. You can help Wikipedia by milking it.
These cows are temporarily protected from milking. Please resolve disputes on the talk page. Protection is not intended to express support of German or Polish cows.
Some people say you have two cows. Others disagree. Some experts state that anyone who denies the existence of your cows is probably smoking too much manure, but others revert them and call them Nazis.
From Sirius Cybernetics Corporation (half-nonsense)[edit]
Many galactic historians consider the invention of the fictional SCC also to be amazingly prescient, seeing it as a metaphor for the all too Earthly1 company Microsoft, which rose to prominence only some fifteen years later.
1Mostly Harmless
From "Nationalism (cultural economic)"[edit]
a ballpen is something you write with that has ink.
"ballpen" ≠ nationalism :)
Apple Timer[edit]
An apple Timer is a bright red mechanism that goes tick. You turn the top half of the mechanism and it turns starts the mechanism going. At the end of a period of time it dings
Hey! Let's see who has the fastest apple! Ding!
From Talk:Tia and Tamara Mowry[edit]
Tia and Tamara I am so happy for you, because I heard the prophesy that you got from Benny Hinn. You Go Girls!
For those of you tuning in from outside the USA, Benny Hinn is a charismatic faith-healer and televangelist with a hairstyle best described as "aerodynamic."
From A History of Knowledge[edit]
http://members.aol.com/bbfloyd007/myhomepage/me%20in%20tux%202.gifCharles Van Doren's love life grew hot and heavy the summer after his confession. Nina Jones, a mysterious and elegant young black girl nearly twelve years his junior, soon moved into the cramped basement flat on J Street that he had taken after resigning from Columbia University.
They fucked every night and every day, in every position possible. It was hot, all right. Hotter than HELL!
Unassailable logic, part one.[edit]
Amaranth wood is commonly referred to as purple heart wood. submitted by name removed.
And if that wasn't enough to convince you...
Unassailable logic, part two.[edit]
...maybe this will.
Purple heart wood is also referred to as amaranth wood. submitted by name removed.
From "Derick Bellamy"[edit]
Derick, man. He's the knee of bee. He's so awesome.
Antipope Constantine II[edit]
He staoppred bering Anrtipf53ope in 768 baaecause he was a biat tgf54oo deg4aad to contianue his dugf543sadcties. rrrf4rnu4nu9nf43098nf0fjdewnmdewqjpoieqrvm[ ewipqnc439bc 9c43n9
Solomon the wise[edit]
Solomon was one of the most popular kings that have ever ruled. He is known as the wise for god granted him one wish and he asked for wisdom. He fixed many problems back at his town, that's all I can say. HE was a good fella, I liked him, he would make me laugh ocasionally, yes I'm a ghost(that's why I knew him)anyway does anybody know how can rip an original DVD, that's a tough cookie to crack
Solomon would have just split the DVD in half.
Polyambiguated disambiguation (euphoria)[edit]
Euphoria may refer to;
- A psychological state of intense good feeling. [disambiguat
ion page]
- Euphoria programming language
- An album by Def Leppard
- An album by Leftover Salmon [another disambiguation page]
This is a disambiguation page; that is, one that points to other pages that might otherwise have the same name. If you followed a link here, you might want to go back and fix that link to point to the appropriate specific page.
Podle[edit]
PODLE: A cross between a poodle and Po (teletubies)
From In the news[edit]
- Famous British physicist and cyborg Stephen Hawking argues that information is not lost in a black hole, losing his bet with particle physicist John Preskill.
Why is this here? Why not just remove cyborg and replace argues with agrees - in which case it would be accurate
From Heated Propagator[edit]
The Heated Propogator is a horticultural device wherein the germination of thermosenseitive botanical specimens may be achieved, theretofore their reaching a sufficient stage whereby survival outside would be tolerated, whereafter they can be transplanted therefrom and replanted in suitable hardening containers thereinafter, becoming better aclimatised to harshers conditions therewith.
The adverbs are taking over therewithinafter! NOOOO!
From Johnny Turbo[edit]
Johnny Turbo is the alter-ego of Jonathan Brandstetter, who is based on a real life game developer, John C. Brandstetter. After the advertising campaign, John had a son named Jonathan Brandstetter. Tony, the sidekick and alleged sexual parter of Johnny Turbo, is based off of Tony Ancona.
- This "nonsense" has the rare attribute of being true. ~ FriedMilk 13:03, 2004 Aug 29 (UTC)
From Hat Putato[edit]
See /Hat Putato for history.
{{Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense: The wrath of bad nonsense/Hat Putato}}
From a VfD discussion about "Jagimon"[edit]
( "In 2004 Gherkinmon, a pickle-type Digimon, became the first thingymon to win an Olympic Gold medal in the Vegetable Martial Arts category, flattening his opponent with a Gherkin Belch Attack. Although Gherkinmon was subsequently eaten in an unfortunate party incident, the Athens City Government will rename the Parthenon in his honor. etc. etc."). Ianb 22:11, 23 Jul 2004 (UTC)
A tragic end to a really great gherkin.
Choudhary Shujaat Hussain[edit]
the president of pakistan is very werid because we have no idea who he is and he could also be related sadam husein and that isn't very good yours sincerely Anynonumus
What a bombshell! Does the CIA know anything about this?
From "Tj"[edit]
Wazzup peeps, my name is TJ and my website is <removed>
Wazzup? Fo' shizzle!
From "M.Eng."[edit]
dear sir,
I'm mr. (name removed), was complited bachalor degree in electrical and electronics engineering from jntu university hyderabad, a.p, india. after complition of b.tech i'm decided to study MS in UK.. so as per above mentioned programme please kindly give information for admission in your university...
thanking you sir
"Red faction" (Lirath Q. Pynnor)[edit]
- You have been offered full membership in the Red Faction. Should you accept, you will be banned within 3 working days. Lirath Q. Pynnor
- Thanks, but I'm not a supporter of any faction. I'm a supporter of Wikipedia. -- orthogonal 17
- 15, 29 Jul 2004 (UTC)
So are we... Lirath Q. Pynnor
From Goatsefication[edit]
Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense: The wrath of bad nonsense/Goatsefication
Matchless atrocity (What Links Here: Torture)[edit]
"The unlucky sufferer, bound hand and foot, was escorted to the nearest International House of Pancakes and force-fed various monstrosities festooned with nuts, cherries, syrup, chocolate chips, and whipped cream."
Pok�mon Facts[edit]
It is a well known fact that to get any Pok�mon on a bus, you need to poke 'em on. Another fact is that Pikachu crosses the road on Combusken's day off. A jiggly food item is a wobbly buffet (Wobuffett). Also, Missingno. cannot evolve in to Missingyes or Missingmaybe. Only Magikarp can learn Super Wimpy Pathetic Attack, and only Feebas can learn You'll Never Find Me Without Gameshark Or Action Replay.
Mary had a little lamb, she also had a dancing bear. I've often seen her little lamb, but never seen her dancing bear.[edit]
Fw65erwq6TEW7Y6R76WEATEW76ARDYETSFDTYSRTSDRSTDTW5DTWRD6WRDWTYRDWRWTRWTRETYRWTYR. gGytduswtf7ufrttrfeurftguytyefgtre. The Ehucdhifguygund.
Sweat Drop Of DOOM!!![edit]
O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; O__O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
1984[edit]
Friday, May 11, 1984 - A transit of Earth from Mars takes place; no one is there to observe it.
- IF this is accurate, shouldn't it be allowed to stay? Is it true? Boffy b 14:27, 2004 Aug 15 (UTC)
- It could be false, since for all we know, there might well have been life on Mars in 1984 which observed this transit. :P
From Talk:Knock First[edit]
(I left this there as well as it's a talk page. For info, Knock First is a teen reality room makeover show)
Hi my name is crystal. i would like to have my room made over because my room is never organized at all every thing is mainly like all over the place. I am in a couple of sports basketball, and softball as well and i enjoy them both. What can i say about my self i am mostly quiet unless i know you then i can be very out going and loud. I love to write poems. i would like to turn my room into a more grown up room. so there is not kiddy stuff any more, except for my care bears i can not live with out my care bears. And shane West i am a huge fan of his my dream in life is to meet him personaly. When i moved into the basement my parents made my room and all it is about is them and nothing to do about me at all. Yes i do have a boy friend we have been dating for a while now and we are vary happy with each other. i want to also make my room look a little more romantic as well. samantha, and crystal are like my two best friends . And i could never live with out my cat lucky she is like a person to me. i know i probably sound like a dork but you can ask any of my friends i need a new room just to chill and also my boy friend will agree with you also. And i will be a senior this year and after i graduate i am going to college and i am so exciting to be graduating.
well i hope this helps you
sincerly yours,
crystal
I Need help my room is like a torchure chamber!!!
Dear Knock First,
My name is Meghan Bradigan, and I'm 13. I live in Sunbury,PA. Right now i have to share my room with my older sister Kim when she comes home from college. We both kinda have our own likes and dislikes. And we like different music and things like that. We need help getting the room into our own "groove". I would really like a place i could hang out, do my homework, listen to music and when the time comes chill with my boyfriend. My room looks horrible... it hasnt been done since my mom and dad added it on to the house. Its an ugly color blue and the carpet is old and wore-out.I have had to share a room wit h one of my sisters all my life. I have a mix of things i like in there right now like hourses, stuffed animals, music, awards, and clothes. I'm into dancing, music {most kinds}, clothes/fashion. But my most favorite thing i like doing is dancing because its a way of expressing myself my own indavidual way. I try to go to all of our school dances. Most of the shows i watch are like MTV, VH1, Knock First, and Trading Spaces. My mom and dad dont have the time right now to do it or the money with my sister going to college. If there is anyway possible I would love it if you could come and redo my room. Its in need of some major make-over help. This would be like a dream come true if you could help me with my problem. P.S. please help me!!!
Help needed, Meghan Bradigan
From the John Kerry talk page[edit]
- The reading public is entitled to know that not all of Mr.Kerry's injuries were of the same severity. What is the point of saying: Injured. Injured again. Injured for a third time. Where is the richness of detail in that account which allows a person to fully appreciate the sacrifices that our fighting men and women make for USA? Also, my comment should have been discussed more prior to the tag-team changes being made by Neutrality and Wolfman Rex071404 04:34, 3 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- Each of the wounds and treatment are described in exacting detail. I even know that Kerry's sore ass was treated to a warm soak. That's pretty rich detail in my view. Also, there is no "tag-team". I explained my edit carefully above. I am not in collusion with Neutrality or anyone else. Now, as you asked, I have politely waited for another response. I still disagree with you edit for the reasons carefully explained above.Wolfman 04:42, 3 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- I don't think "warm" is enough detail. Was it tepid? Luke warm? Boiling hot? America deserves an answer. Gamaliel 04:49, 3 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- Each of the wounds and treatment are described in exacting detail. I even know that Kerry's sore ass was treated to a warm soak. That's pretty rich detail in my view. Also, there is no "tag-team". I explained my edit carefully above. I am not in collusion with Neutrality or anyone else. Now, as you asked, I have politely waited for another response. I still disagree with you edit for the reasons carefully explained above.Wolfman 04:42, 3 Aug 2004 (UTC)
D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz![edit]
And yet, this user makes perfectly normal and unobjectionable edits....
User:D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
4h 1zzz 4 (!r(uM\/3nti0N D3v!(3, s0 !f 4h 1zzz rh!!D!N9 1n Urr K4R U m!9Ht 93T Bu5xxxed b/ d3h 3ff-B33-3Y3!!!!!!
Could you please write your edit summaries in plain English? They would be much more helpful than the leetspeak summaries that you are currently using. Thanks. Guanaco 17:05, Aug 6, 2004 (UTC)
- U zh0ULD 83 gr34Tphhu1 [email protected] 3y3 d0 N0t #r!te zz3m !N |<L!N90N!!!! &nd [email protected] 3Y3 M 3D!T!N9 d3h 4RT!(L3ZZZ zzz3mz31v3zz 1n uR 3NN9L!zh33!!! R U 90!N9 2 84N M3 2 d3h http://l33t.wikipedia.org n0\/\/?
Well, mostly normal.
| 11:51, 6 Aug 2004 | D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz | (m0r3 L0r3 & d3h [email protected] 0n d3h \/\/r3n(h uzz33d to haxxx0r 4 [email protected]) |
... To prevent casual use or misuse, the hydrant requires special tools to be opened, usually a large wrench with a pentagon-shaped socket. Due to their size and construction, a large amount of force is required to uncap the hydrant and open the valve. ...
That's it. He's been pwned. Rickyrab 19:48, 9 Dec 2004 (UTC)
From Dynamite[edit]
BOOM!!!
This page just exploded.
From User talk:Raul654[edit]
Hello Raul, I think it was very vicouls from you to valdalize the Baltic Institute entry from the Gdansk article. Please stop this or you mey be blocked from Wikipdia.
- Yes Raul - Supporters of the Valdal movement will not be tolerated. Valdal himself will be hunted down and shot. Manning 21:13, 8 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- Poor Valdal - his name has become mud through no fault of his own :) →Raul654 21:14
, Aug 8, 2004 (UTC)
DiKKy Hearties[edit]
Hearties, Dikky (1886-1932), Norwegian dancer, choreographer, and theatre actor. Born in Nordkapp, Northern Norway, Hearties began training as a dancer at the age of six and made his debut at the Theatre Royal in Estonia, in 1903. In 1906 he joined the dance company of Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova on its first tour of Austria and Luxembourg. In the early 1910s he went to Britain to further study Ballet. In 1913 he began dancing full time with the newly formed Sadler's Wells Ballet (now Royal Ballet), becoming its lead dancer only three years later. He made his acting debut on stage as Oberon in A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare in 1917. In 1923 Hearties became the principal choreographer of the Royal Ballet.
Soon after, he started experiencing symptoms of what is now understood to be the early stages of bowl cancer yet managed to perform many highly acclaimed ballets he is associated with include Hamlet, Miracle in the Gorbals, Comus, and The Birds. In 1928 he became terminally disabled, no longer able to dance he returned to Norway and joined the Royal Norse Ballet to work as a choreographer. The following year he became its joint artistic director with Bare van Rolloffle. He left ballet in 1931 when the treatment he was receiving turned him senile, Hearties would go through phases where he believed himself to be an African, in August of 1932 he passed away in his sleep. Hearties received many national and international honours for his outstanding contribution to the world of ballet.
Seen in the Sawtooth wave entry[edit]
Under the section "Relevance to Wikipedia":
A plot of RAM usage of the Wikipedia web servers is in the shape of a sawtooth wave: memory leaks cause memory use to increase linearly until reboot at which point it falls to minimum. When this repeats a sawtooth wave is produced.
Odd introductions, or, Wikipedia:How to write complete sentences[edit]
Hello. Please write in complete sentences. If you havn't already, check out Wikipedia:How to edit a page . . .
A Plague o'Sockpuppets![edit]
From the talk page of Lucky 6.9 comes concern for the welfare of poor Lucky's sanity during a VfD discussion involving sockpuppets. We begin with our very own Dpbsmith and "friends"...
I'm concerned about your comment at Wikipedia:Votes_for_deletion/Avigad_Berman. I hate sockpuppets too, but please try to relax—I want you to stick around. [[wp:User:Dpbsmith|Dpbsmith (talk)]] 00:56, 10 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- Me, too. Loathe, loathe! Dpbsmythe
- Roger that. Ssssssockpuppetsssss! I hates 'em, I does! Dpbschmidt.
- You can say that again! NoSockPuppetsHereNoSir
- Darn it, Dpbsmith, this isn't funny, stop it. DevilMadeMeDoIt
P. S. I haven't got any cookies, but may I offer you some fried dough?
- I also loathe sockpuppets. Mike H 01:01, Aug 10, 2004 (UTC)
- Mike H is my idol! Fan Worship
- I do everything Mike H says! Mike H is Typing This
- I love Mike H, and I am so not a sockpuppet! I'm So a Sockpuppet!
- Mike H for president! Lemme show you my boobs! Drunk Girl
- Cyrius sucks! Mike H Doesn't Mean That...But I Wouldn't Know Because I'm Not a Sockpuppet!
- He's being a meanie! Blindly Worshipping Mike H
- People for deletion! Grunt Wannabe
- Let's go knock over a 7-11! The voice in Jan B rady's head
- Oh, God...if only I can stop laughing long enough to type! I keep forgetting that subtle attempts at sarcasm tend to get lost in ten-point font. THANKS FOR THE BARNSTAR! This is so freaking cool! So's the fried dough. Just like my little Nonna used to make (sniff). - Lucky 6.9 01:24, 10 Aug 2004 (UTC)
- Yeah! That Lucky rules! Lucky'sLeftHand
- Woo-hoo! That's one spicy Italian meatball! AcidReflux
- Lucky for President! Lucky for President! Bushkerry1
- Can you play "Freebird?" Or "Stairway to Heaven?" Did I win? CluelessRadioListener
- Marsha, Marsha, MARSHA! More From Jan Brady's Head
From "DJ Ti�sto"[edit]
well. there should be a entry about this dutch legend but there isnt. and i dont feel like adding one. c ya.
98213[edit]
This number in roman numerals is MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCCXIII.
- Actually it's [math]\displaystyle{ \overline{\mbox{XCVIII}}\mbox{CCXIII} }[/math]. Eric119
BIKINI states[edit]
if ($bikini == false) {
$life = "Is good";
}
else {
$say = "Take off your bikini";
}
Batman touched my junk[edit]
batman touched my junk liberally. he strapped me in to his batmobile and he couldnt keep his offensive hands off of me. he was performing many red flag touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told batman the city would not approve of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free.
can you believe it? batman did all this. he picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the batmobile's passenger seat, and just wouldn't stop fondling my cock'n'balls.
they definately were red flag touches. the goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did batman care? NO WAY! he just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with batman but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a wealthy man touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything.
this got to him, worrying about his image. he continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring the referee's red flags. then he drove the batmobile to my house and ejected the seat i was in! it was amazing. but surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it?????????????????????????
Why, no! Just don't tell Robin. He'll be crushed.
Space corp directive 1742[edit]
No member of the space corp may report for duty in a ginger toupee.
I once dated a girl named Ginger Toupee...
Fairy bread[edit]
What is it?
Fairy bread (or faerie breade(OE))is white bread lightly spread with margarine or butter, and then sprinkled with hundreds and thousands (also known as sprinkles or fairies, consisting of small balls of coloured sugar).
History
Fairy bread is most commonly served at children's parties as a sweet yet more filling alternative to lollies. The earliest known historical reference to it was during the witch trials of the middle ages in Europe, where its production was considered to be a sign of 'charming'. Since then it has lost its stigma and since its introduction to the 'speak-easies' of the United States during prohibition in the 1920s has steadily increased in popularity.
International variations
In Australia fairy bread is found almost exclusively at children's parties. Slices of the bread are typically cut into triangles and stacked tastefully on the host's paper plate.
In Belize, the consumption of fairy bread (or ferrille brae) is food eaten traditionally the day after the winter solstice, to encourage the fairies to bring spring with the warm Mediterranean winds.
In Cuba, fairy bread is thought to be an aphrodisiac and is often given by the wom an to the man as a sign of willingness to engage in sexual activity.
In Denmark there is a variation in the recipe, where instead of using sprinkles (fairies) the chefs use winkles (elves). These are green in colour and are beleived to bring good luck.
In France fairy bread is outlawed due to its links to witchcraft.
Greece uses olive oil in place of margarine and coloured anchovies in place of fairies.
Holland, believed to be one of the earliest consumers of fairy bread, historically errected temples to the Queen of Fairies, Jaap T'Hooftendenhaagenvandrooselveltbreadsprinkleendonut. Today, the complex rituals conducted in the 9th century AD have been reduced to a quick prayer before consumption. The Dutch also credit her with the creation of doughnuts.
For more information about fairy bread, ask your local fairies (found in your local supermarket).
Note - some of these lies are true. See the current version of the article for what could be saved
From Spoon[edit]
A spoon is also commonly used as a tool to inflict pain; one might simply repeatedly strike another person with it for extended periods of time to cause great physical and mental damage.
There is no spoon!
- But there is soup, and cereal, and jello, and ice cream.
From Apathy[edit]
Widespread apathy is one explanation for the existence of stubs and especially substubs on Wikipedia.