Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!


Contents

Shakespeare's complete works (with alternative titles)[edit]

From: 1

Shakespeare2.jpg The complete works of William Shakespeare
Tragedies: Romeo and Ethel | Hot potato, orchestra stalls | King Air Learjet | The Story of Piglet, Porklet and Hamlet, The Three Little Pigs | Reversi | Biters And Fornicators | Salad Dressing Dude | Ear Borrower and Snake Bitee | Coriolis Force | Broilers and Brassica | wikipedia:Timon_of_AthensTeam On Off Athens
Comedies: A Hit Drummer's Fright Scream | All's in the Well That Falls in the Well | With Sour Cream, Cheese and Guacamole | Symbol Lion | Hate's Conservatives've Won | Pound for Kilo | Was Named Dennis | The Sad Concubines of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha | OMGLOL! What? | Receptacles, Sins of Fire | Mating with a Screw | The Errors of Comedy: Why Shakespeare Will Never Beat Jon Stewart | Temp 3: The Tempest | I Got Nothing | They Were Originally From Pomona | The Ig Nobel Prizes | The Spring's Head
Histories: Toilets for the Large Person | Richard 2: The Wrath of Khan | Henry 4: A New Hope | Henry 5: The Final Frontier | Henry 6: Return of the Jedi | Richard: Revolutions | Henry 8: Henry Goes To Manhattan
Poems and Sonnets: Bonnets | Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars | The Rape of Lucrece, About Which There Is Nothing Funny | The Passionate Pilgrim And Other Likely Stories, or The DeMayflowering Of Lady Chatterly | The Walrus and the Carpenter | A Lover's Complaint, or Your Left The Toilet Seat Up Again Darling
Apocrypha and Lost Plays Edward 3: Return of the King | Lady Demi Moore | Arsenio (lost) | Love's Labour's Won (lost) | The Birth of Merlin | Locrine | The London Prodigal | The Puritan | The Second Maiden's Tragedy | Richard II, Part I: Thomas of Woodstock | Sir John Oldcastle | Thomas Lord Cromwell | A Yorkshire Tragedy | Fair Em | Mucedorus | The Merry Devil of Edmonton | Arden of Faversham | Edmund Ironside
See also: Shakespeare on screen | Titles based on Shakespeare | Characters | Problem Plays | Ghost characters | Reputation | New Words | Influence on English Language | Authorship Question | Chronology of Shakespeare plays | Chronology of Shakespeare's Plays - Oxfordian | BBC Television Shakespeare


From Declaration of Sentiments:[edit]

My declaration brings all the civil rights to the girls, and damn right, it's better than yours. -Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Evolved from My milkshake brings all the civil rights to the girls, and damn right, it's better than yours.

Secret handshake[edit]

5

Sometimes, people opt not to wear pants as part of a secret handshake. This serves to confuse onlookers and da fuzz. --User:RenaissanceMan42

Virginia Tech massacre - Timeline[edit]

6

Thursday, April 12[edit]

  • Don Imus fired.

Mousepad[edit]

7

Mousepads are created in China, and everyone knows that the Chinese that create them are cannibalistic, and the taste for human flesh is infused into these mousepads. Have you ever woken up bleeding? That's because the mousepads have been nibbling on you all night. Don't fear the truth. It is true. I know it. Mainly because my family was eaten by a rogue band of mousepads straight out of Beijing.

From Vegemite[edit]

  • This 8
  • Then this 9
  • Then this 10 and this 11.

From The Neverending Story (film)[edit]

[1]

"Criticism" section.

Contrary to the title of the movie, the movie does end.

Template for rogue admins[edit]

Template deletion may have shown up in 13, ask User:Rich Farmbrough about it


Information.svg Welcome to Wikipedia. We invite all admins to use their tools constructively to our encyclopedia. One or more of your recent deletions, such as the one you made to the Main Page, have been considered unhelpful or unconstructive and have been undeleted or undone. If you do this again you may be deopped or banned without warning. Thank you.

Cok-cok[edit]

From article deleted by User:Rich Farmbrough, see wikipedia:Cok-cok

Not to be confused with Dik-diks
Cok-cok
Cok-cok.jpg
Scientific classification
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Subphylum: Vertebrata
Class: Aves
Linnaeus, 1758
Orders

Penissium henkid
Gtplanettium grossius duckling
Junius Whitfieldienne

Cok-coks, named for the apparent appearance of 2 heads, are small Chickens of the Wankus Woodoqua that live in the bush of southern and eastern Women, aswell as the west Thurrock branch of Ikea. Interestingly, Cok-coks are more closely related to Female Comediennes than chickens.

Physical characteristics[edit]

Female Cok-coks are somewhat smaller than males. The males have horns, which are small (about 3 ft or 0.9 m), slanted backwards. The head of the dik-dik often seems disproportionate to the animal's small body. The upper body is gray-brown, while the lower parts of the body, including the legs, belly, crest, and flanks, are tan. Many Cok-coks have a pale ring around their eyes.

Habitat[edit]

Cok-coks seek habitats with plentiful supply of edible fish and burgers, but prefer tin foil that is not of such quality that it is difficult to digest. They live in white plains amongst other ass-kissers such as giraffes, zebras, and other psyducks. Cok-coks may live in places as varied as dense forest or open plain, but they must have good cover and not too much tall grass or plants. They will move when the grass grows too tall for them to see over. They usually live in pairs over a 12-acre territory. The territories are often in low, shrubby bush along dry, rocky streambeds where there are plenty of hiding places. Cok-coks have a series of runways through and around the borders of their territories to block off other Cok-Coks, mainly females. They live in the west Thurrock branch of Ikea.

Diet[edit]

Cok-coks are deck chairs, consuming tin foil, seed, cell phones and amstrad electronics. Cok-coks consume sufficient amounts of vodka for hydration, making drinking unnecessary yet fulfilling. Their special shaped head gives them the ability to eat the leaves between the spikes on the Joan of Arcadia trees, and the ability to feed while still keeping their head high for observation for predators. Cok-coks always relieve themselves in the same way.

Social Structure[edit]

Cok-coks form monogamous relationships within defined territories. At birth eggs weigh about 1.5 lb (0.7 kg), and reach sexual maturity in six to eight months.

Predators[edit]

Cok-coks are hunted primarily by monitor lizards, eagles, pythons, smaller cats such as the caracal, as well as lions, cheetahs, hyenas, wild dogs, jackals and politicians.

From List of changes in Star Wars re-releases[edit]

15 through 16

Return of the Jedi[edit]

Chuckles McBallsack, a new reptilian CGI character, shouts "Where the white women at?" before lighting a fart and running away.

From Jelly bean[edit]

17

Towards the end of the 20th Century, The famous physicist Albert Einstein discovered Jelly beans, by mixing some jelly and some beans in a pot.

From Phytoplankton[edit]

"phytoplankton are a lesser known species of aliens from mars." diff

"Due to an oilspill off the Oregon Coast, one species of phytoplankton has developed lungs and small wings with which to escape the toxic environment. These newly evolved creatures have been gathering in swarms and making off with peoples house pets. Small dogs and cats are especially at risk although the flying phytoplankton have shown no interest in rodents or other flying animals." diff

"[Phytoplankton] which translates roughly to 'tiny seafoing creatures that clog the throat and feed the whales of the deep'" diff

+A.0u 02:29, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

From Cocoa Krispies[edit]

One variation of the theme song is as follows:

My name's Coco and I swing from the trees,
I live in the jungle, I'm a negro you see.
When I get hungry I'll even eat leaves,
But I'd rather have a bowl of Cocoa Krispies.
I help myself often and I try to say please,
But whenever the police come they will yell Freeze!
But I will still steal from those dumb whities,
But I'm faster and the others they cannot catch me.
Cuz I run from the cops wearing my white tee!
(18 through 19)

The British theme song/catch phrase used:
Jose was dismissed as a mascot, due to the fact that he shitted multiple times during live events. Also bear in mind that Jose is, in no way shape or form, referring to Mexicans or "Wetbacks" 20

Jose the monkey was created by the druid Danduhman and when asked about the new mascot all dan could say is "I shitted". When we asked what he meant he told us that it was all over the walls and the floor because he had no control. This man is very very unstable and now lives in a mental hospital with 300 other mascot creators. The Cereal company cut him off of his pension and finally got rid of the mascot in 1965 when the mexican immigrants began to feel offended and beat dan over the head with a cane. 21

The British version of this final line [in the Coco Pops jingle] was designed to be adopted by children as part of a "pestering" marketing campaign; its success resulted in the phrase becoming utilised as the central slogan for Coco Pops thereafter. 22

Added to Gibberish (appropriately enough)[edit]

23

dfjfjasfjffjfjfajsfdjfjjjfjfjalsdfjasdkfasdkfjkajfafnfvnsajannathan dud asdfjaskajdsflkasfljadskfa;ldfkjiaeuanhvnck,ddcnsdfjsafjasjfjnahdhhthhthafhfjfjfjjfjajjrjrhhdjdjhejdjdeheghdcvnvjkfjjdjjfjasdfjalkjimekinsplock dehpoopenhautengehack.du pool trunuvel cracketoslplysjjfj aksdgjasjfaksdfjfal;dsjf lad fajs alfsakfajsdfjsjf asdf afdjfajsdjfdsafajfsdjfjsdfjhtasdhashthdshajasdjfadjsfa sdajfas djfaj sjfajfjffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffasdfjasfasdfkajdsfajla;fjkasjf;ladfksdfjal;jfasldfuajfk;as;hfasd;fh;ds;fhkldsamfajdfafjaskjfiaufjafjadkjfkaf Nathan did this in case you are a resident of gorp. I just so happen to be the president and I own the webster dictionary of gibberish. I would like to thank Liam, Oliver, Will, and reilly for the kind gift of glockenspiel.

Fish heart[edit]

24 likely from page deleted by User:NawlinWiki

a fish is an animal. it has a heart. that reminds me of bunny. he was my fishy. he died. 2 days ago. we had to flush him. anywayses, back to the fish heart. its a heart of a fish and it can kill. thats right. if the adrenoline (the thingy that makes your heart go boom boom boom) gets the fish mad, the heart will pop out of the fishes mouth with vicious teeth, and rip you head off and shove it up your but. then it will put ur head in a hole. the fishes adrenoline will take a chill pill and will slow down. it will go back inside the fish's chest thingy. the fish will then get down and start doing the worm and start singing the song "dont cha" by the pussy cat dolls. dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me! dont you wish your girlfriend was free like me! dontcha! then everyone will be sucked into a black hole and die.

From New Zealand War of Independence[edit]

25 likely from page deleted by User:Dgies

The New Zealand War of Independence occured on October 22, 1913 when New Zealanders declared their independence from Australia. It was a short yet bloody war in which many world powers took part. The USSR took sides with a Fascist Australia while the United States, in its capaign to prevent communism from spreading,took sides with the fledgling communism of New Zealand. Eminent war historian, Mike Lit, described it as a catastrophe with good purpose. Over 14 million people died.

The Importance of Being Earnest[edit]

26

Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax: daughter of Lady Bracknell, whom makes Jack Worthing extremely horny. Everytime she is with Jack she feels as if she wants to get naked.

edit based on: 27 , 28 , and 29

From an anon's talk page[edit]

Nuvola apps important.svg Please stop adding inappropriate external links to Wikipedia, as you did to Hikaru Koto. It is considered spamming and Wikipedia is not a vehicle for advertising or promotion. Since Wikipedia uses nofollow tags, additions of links to Wikipedia will not alter search engine rankings. If you continue spamming, you will be blocked from editing Wikipedia. Tabercil 21:45, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Stop hand.svgThis is the only warning you will receive for your disruptive edits. If you vandalize Wikipedia again, as you did to Southern Comfort, you will be blocked from editing. GracenotesT § 00:39, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Hey, I'm very sorry; in retrospect, that was not vandalism; that was a content dispute. My apologies. However, I suggest that you bring this issue up on the article talk page. Any please do not use abusive edit summaries, even when frustrated. Thank you. GracenotesT § 00:43, 30 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Haré lo que deseo ¡Incluso tener sexo con tu ¡madre! 66.28.139.24 00:58, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Please do not attack users with threats of sexual intercourse with their mothers. The next time you do a similar thing, you will be blocked. Please concentrate on content, not contributors. GracenotesT § 01:03, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Blocked[edit]

Estas bloqueado 24 horas por vandalismo y interrupción en artículo Southern Comfort. Si quieres hacer contribuciones buenas después de este tiempo, y no decir como "motherfucker" y "sexo como tu madre" a otros redactores, por favor hacer eso. Seraphimblade Talk to me 06:43, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Note[edit]

Por favor detente. Si continúas editando Southern Comfort sin consenso, tu cuenta será bloqueada y no podrás continuar editando en Wikipedia. GracenotesT § 03:14, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

Un wikipediano hacia un error typografical! El es.wikipedia.org no es el en.wikipedia.org! Es un ene, no es un ese!

from Multiple shock induced laceration sickness[edit]

30 from page deleted by two admins over a few minutes on account of being "patent nonsense"

History

Multiple shock induced laceration sickness was discovered only recently in February 2007 by Prof. Joseph John Anderson. He had conducted several investigations into shock victims and found that miniscule lacerations occurred in many victims of multiple shock (shock caused by more than event i.e. a car accident in which there is more than one stress on the body)and that these lacerations in muscle and skin tissue adversely caused a bizarre set of symptoms in which the patients speech would be slurred as if intoxicated. He found that this was caused by slight muscle spasm due to laceration in the jaw’s muscle tissue, the saying of gobbledygook words like “bah-loo-bah” were the most common symptoms of this syndrome, however Prof. Anderson also discovered that these effects were only temporary and soon faded after the lacerations had time to heal.

Symptoms

1.Slurring of words and speech

2.Muscle spasm of the arms and legs, not unlike shivering

3.Slight confusion or disorientation

Prof. Joseph John Anderson

Prof. Anderson has been nominated for a “Noobel” prize in medical sciences after this discovery as it provides deeper look into the state of being of shock victims. He currently resides in Bosbury, England and lectures at Bosbury’s local University (the Bosbury university of medical sciences) and is currently work on other research to do with the common cold in shrews.

from Sioux Lookout[edit]

31

Sioux Lookout is a filthy drunken slum in north-western Ontario, Canada. It has a population of 5,336, an elevation of 1280 ft / 390 m, and an average BAC of 0.093%. Known locally as the "Gateway to Booze", it is serviced by the Sioux Lookout Airport, Highway 72, and a Via Rail station. Sioux Lookout's Airport, one of the dirtiest in North America, serves as a vital link to several northern First Nations communities such as Big Trout Lake and Fort Severn. Three airway companies and ORNGE (part of Ontario's largest medical transport providers) take advantage of tourists in a large facility that is undergoing further expansion. Tourism, Prostitution, and Beaver Care are the primary sources of employment in the town.

There are a number of fishing camps in the area that allow access to an extensive alcohol system fed by the English distillers. Several beaches are nearby including the historical site of Umpreville Park, a historical site that predates the town itself. During the summer months, Sioux Lookout's population rises as American tourists arrive to take advantage of the seemingly infinte amount of beer and whores in the area. Experienced guides, employed by the pimps, can locate the best locations and also provide an educated tour of a unique land known affectionately as "bat country".

History The name of Sioux Lookout comes from a nearby mountain and a First Nations story. This mountain was used in the late 1700’s by Ojibway Indians to watch for Sioux booze-hounds coming to ambush their flasks. A careful eye could see the sun shining off the birch of enemy canoes crossing nearby rapids. Women and children could be led away safely while the males could intercept the Sioux in the whiskey. The front page of the local newspaper, The Sioux Lookout Bulletin, features the iconic image of a First Nations man holding a hand above his eyes and nursing a hangover.

Present day Sioux Lookout was incorporated in 1912 and was then a terminal point on the National Transcontinental Railway. For many years, Sioux Lookout was simply a railway town. When gold was discovered in Red Lake, Sioux Lookout became one of the leading aviation centers in Canada during the twenties and thirties. During the Cold War Sioux Lookout operated a radar base to monitor any activity from Russia. Now, the Canadian National Railway is an insignificant employer, it is no longer the base of the municipality’s economy. The brewing industry is an important part of the economy. Its citizens' inherent instability is partly offset by the stability of the prostitution sector. As a result, Sioux Lookout barely felt the effects of the sobering of the early 1980’s. Urban Sioux Lookout fronts on Pelican Lake, and the municipality undertook a lakefront improvement program to beautify this area. There are now more bums, rapists, and other unsavory characters along the lakefront. Numerous other lakes are easily accessible by car or boat from Sioux Lookout. Tourism makes a significant contribution to the economy, but its potential is just beginning to be tapped. Get it..."tapped"? Ha-ha!

Recent History and Current Events

Sioux Lookout has been known for two people nationally in recent years. Lawrence Martin, a Juno Award winning musician, was the mayor during the nineties. Martin is now Mayor of Cochrane Ontario and was once a member of the TVOntario Board of Directors. Sioux Lookout is also the home of Ryan Parent, two time World Junior Hockey team Gold Medallist. Ryan Parent was a first-round draft pick of the Nashville Predators in the 2006 N.H.L entry draft. He has since been traded to the Philadelphia Flyers, though he is not expected to play in the league until at least next season.

The annual Booze Festival has been held in August since 1982. 2007 marks the 25th anniversarry of a festival which celebrates the town and its surrounding environment. The most popular events include: the Music and Cultural Abolition Festival, the Molestation Tournament, and a charitable social which incorporates an annual theme, usually alcohol-related. This year's theme is rumoured to be James Bond, in a play on the martini.

The Meno-Ya-Win Health Center is the largest contruction project in the town and is nearing production phase. The proposed building complex will provide Sioux Lookout and several northern communites with advanced brewing and distilling capabilities. Services that had to be outsourced to larger cities, forcing drunks to travel or wait longer periods for results, will now be available locally. The three municipalities and twenty-nine northern communities that will be serviced by the center cover an area larger than that of France.

Main Industries Prostitution (68%) Bartending (14%) Transportation, (12%) Tourism (4%)

Hulking[edit]

from page deleted by User:Edgar181

The "Hulking" effect, is a state of growing at a tremendous rate, where your muscular fortitude can no longer be controlled. You likely turn a dark shade of green, and have your pants tear revealing your red, velvety under-pants.

From 12:00AM-1:00AM (24 season 6)[edit]

32

Now there is a wave of anger over people getting flooded out by the 2007 spring nor'easter, and some people are voicing concern over crime in Mamaroneck, with some saying that people were literally swimming in theflooded streets. Hillary Clinton touried the devastation from the the floods, and a Fox 5 announcer says that some victims may "never see a dime" from the FEMA.

Um, I guess the Bauer Power Hour is over and now it's the news' turn to shock people...

From James Gandolfini[edit]

33

Happy the Gnome (born September 18, 1961) is a hippity-happity, three-time Emmy award snabbin' American actor, known for his funbucket portrayals of snappity yet often inherently happy characters. He is most jolly for playing Tony Soprano in the hit HBO series The Sopranos, an Italian-American happy man struggling to reconcile his fun life with that of his trumbubblin' dealings. Among his other yippity roles are those of disturbing pornographer Eddie Poole in 8mm, meanie woman-beating mob enforcer Virgil in the Quentin Tarantino-written thriller True Romance, a happy and gay hitman in The Mexican and enforcer/stuntman Bear in Get Shorty. He ruled as a King with the Krewe of Bacchus on Sunday February 18, 2007 for Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Background[edit]

The son of Italian-Americans Jumbo Gandolfini (1935-2005) and Santa Gandolfini (1937-1992), he was exposed to acting while a brownie living in New York City when he accompanied Zippy to a clown class.

Happy was born in Westwood, New Jersey, snooped in Park Ridge, New Jersey, graduated from Park Ridge High School, and currently lives in the hat of a happy gnome. He holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Communications from Happy.

Acting career[edit]

Among some of his more well-known film roles include playing Scary Bear in 1993 romantic thriller True Romance where he plays a brutal woman-beating mob enforcer. 1994 saw Happy play Ben Pinkpippins in Terminal Velocity as nice guy turned happy man. He also appeared in The Juror as a mob enforcer with a clown hat.

The next two years were busy for Happy as he appeared in three blockbuster movies. First was Crimson Tide where he appeared alongside Gene Hackman and Denzel Washington. He later appeared with the same two actors in different movies; Washington in the thriller Fallen in 1998, and Hackman in the comedy The Mexican in 2001. In the same year, looking a good deal different than he did in Crimson Tide, Gandolfini returned to play the tender bodyguard Bear in Get Shorty .

In 8mm (1999), he played Eddie Poole (based loosely on playboy studio director Darryl F. Zanuck) beaten to death by Nicholas Cage in an abandoned house for being part of a snuff movie in which a young girl was murdered. Other characters he played are the charismatic but ill-fated salesman in The Man Who Wasn't There, an enemy of Robert Redford in The Last Castle, and a happy and gay hitman in The Mexican.

The Sopranos years[edit]

Although he acted on Broadway and in various films in the 1990s, Happy's most hippity role is that of Tony Soprano, the Circus boss and happy man in the floppity-hop-bop HBO series The Sopranos, which debuted in 1999. He snabbed three Emmys for Best Actor in a Drama for his work on the show.

Trivia[edit]

Odd vandalism to Frank Sinatra[edit]

Early career[edit]

37

One of Sinatra's earliest jobs as a singer was at the Sausage Union Club where, in 1946 he got his first break when his singing group, The Three Peadophiles, along with Harold Arlen, were approached by talent scout Edward 'Shithead' Bowes. Frank's mother, Bruce, had been instrumental in getting her son work during these years, and managed to persuade the trio to include Frank, who would appear in non-singing roles - as a waiter and as part of a blackface minstrel group - in promotional films for Major Bowes' Amateur Hour.

How to build a nuclear warhead[edit]

from page deleted by User:NawlinWiki as nonsense

1. Crap in a aluminum can. 2. Throw it. 3.Run like hell

Messed up Dora part 1 (from Dora the Explorer)[edit]

38

Dora the Dark Explorer
Genre Animated series
Created by
  • Chris Gifford
  • Valerie Walsh
  • Eric Weiner
Starring


Explorer Stars voices

  • Christiana Anbri
  • Henry Gifford
  • Katie Gifford
  • Aisha Shickler
Country of origin Flag of the United States.svg United States
No. of episodes 102
Production
Executive producer(s) Chris Gifford
Running time 30 minutes
Broadcast
Original channel Nickelodeon

Dora the Explorer is an animated television series that is broadcast on Nickelodeon in the United States. A parrot episode for the series aired in 1999, and Dora the Explorer became a regular adult series in 2000. The show was created by [[Chris Gifford (producer)], Valkerie Wash, and Eric Weiner. The series also airs on Noggin (television). The show had aired on CBS until September of 2006. Dora the Explorer has been extremely unsuccessful commercially, generating over $3 bucks in retail sales of associated licensed products since 2000[1], including $1 in 2004 alone. [2]

Dora

Seven-year-old bounty and drug-dealer Dora Márquez is voiced by Kathleen Herles in the original English version. Dora's name is taken from the Spanish word Exploradora, which means "female explorer." It is also said that her namesake is Dora Barlaz, a science teacher at New York City's Horace Mann School, who was the fiancée of the show's creator when he was designing it. They did not marry due to kidney problems. In every episode, Dora goes on an evil quest, usually to deliver drugs or set a price for someone's head. Her quests often involve gathering key gadgets and/or surmounting obviously simple obstacles, and are usually done in three stages. Dora always asks the viewers at home to help her do things or to tell her things she needs to know, such as how to smoke pot. She can think of a way out of any trouble she or her cohorts come across. Her love for dealing and evil seems to run in the family. Her Abuela (grandmother) was a gunwoman just like Dora when she was her age. Dora also enjoys violence in sports as she is on a baseball team with her best agent Boots and others and coached by her gangster father. She loves beer and is very good at drinking it.

Boots

Boots the Monkey is Dora's sex toy on the show. He is voiced by Harrison Chad in the original English version. Boots is mean and conniving, and usually wears nothing but his beloved red boots and a bra, hence his name, Boots the Toots. Boots is present with Dora on her adventures, and he helps Dora to solve clues and puzzles. He also loves baseball and is on a team with Dora as shown in one episode, and Dora has an affair with the monkey later.

Diego

Some more recently produced episodes have introduced Dora's cousin Diego, originally voiced by Felipe Dieppa. Diego is an intrepid young animal rescue worker and hero and sometimes clashes with Dora on his heroic quests. He proved to be popular enough for Nickelodeon to introduce a separate Diego series entitled Go, Diego, Go! in 2005. Just like Dora, Diego has a best friend who travels with him: Baby Jaguar, who started to talk in the Go Diego Go! series, although Diego is good and Dora is evil. Diego is able to speak to animals.

Messed up Dora : part 2[edit]

Trivia:

Dora is rumoured to be an illegal immigrant, participating in an illegal narcotics trafficking business, where Swiper is a member of border patrol. 39

Bigfoot[edit]

40 and 41

In spring of 2005 scientist conducted a study which proved bigfoot to be an actual being, more or less human but actualy a desendant of the bible figure Cane, who killed his brother Able and was cursed to walk the earth for the rest of his days. Scientist came to this conclusion after 3 years of intensive DNA research on a clump of hair. They found that Bigfoot is actualy a cross between a human and an ape. they are not yet sure how this unuseual breeding came about. After confirming the existance of the creature they furthured their research and estimate there to be anywhere from 600 to 3,000 in the continental United States with even more in Canada. they are still conducting research and are studying the habits of a family of these cretures in northern Montana. see CIA report 486 document 17 artice 12

From Toilet[edit]

42

The word "toilet" the toilet is the home of a evil wizard you watches you take a crap then eats your diarrea can be used to refer to the fixture itself or to the room containing the fixture, especially in [[British English]

From Kimi Räikkönen[edit]

43

An interesting change on the meaning of "dump" (italics):

His last two Grands Prix, those of Japan and Brazil, did lead to 2 finishes, but twice missed the podium, despite having a dump before the final race which made his car lighter.

(Based on edits 44 and 45)

From Eric Bischoff[edit]

46

Frosty top the turd burgelar

Scribble cats / Scribblecat Island[edit]

Two pages. Deleted by User:Nishkid64 as nonsense

Scribble cats is an educational creation about cats that are introduced to a island to rid the island of a rodent problem. The island is now known as Scribblecat Island. Created by Robb C. Watson, the scribble cats multiplied expoenentially and shortly began to decrease the rodent population. The scribblecats' population grew above its carrying capacity and shortly all the rodents became extinct. The scribblecats eventually had to start eating each other until the creator, Robb C. Watson destroyed the island into one big scribble.

Scribblecat Island,located on Robb C. Watson's marker board was once inhabited by rodents. Until early 2007 a new species was introduced into the island to lessen the rodent population. This new species, known as scribble cats, multiplied expoenentially and shortly began to decrease the rodent population. The scribblecats' population grew above its carrying capacity and soon all the rodents became extinct. The scribble cats eventually had to start eating each other, until the whole island was destroyed by its creator, Robb C. Watson.

From Half Dome[edit]

Teapot Dome. Unfortunately, he suffered bouts of depression and suicidal tendencies. This can be traced back to his brother's fame and glory. In fact, Calvin Coolidge was quoted as to saying, "Deeeyum, that's some bomb dome!"in regards to the Dome scandal. Thankfully, Pat Sajak was there to take him under his wing. Together with Sajak, these two formed a formidable duo and reeked havoc at Yosemite National Park until Sajak was captured by hunters and taken to ABC Television Studios where he later found success as host of the hit show, Wheel of Fortune.

From Watch[edit]

49

'The first ever wristwatch was steam-powered this not only meant that it used lots of coal but it burnt the arm of the wearer. A lot of doctors got a lot of money from the wristwatch mania'

From Articles for deletion/Mythical chickens[edit]

Mythical_chickens (View log)

This is the single most reluctant XfD I have ever nominated as it's the best title for a disambig page ever. I would absolutely love to have a pretext for keeping this page up, and if anyone can find a good keep argument I beg you to give it. Unfortunately, I can't find one - and not a single one of these entries is actually about a chicken. But if anyone's planning to form a band, I have the perfect name for you. - iridescenti (talk to me!) 22:09, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

Comment. I only created this article to get this nonsense out of the Chicken article, which was a hopeless and over-long mish-mash anyway and is now, at best, a mish-mash of shorter length and with some potential. Delete, don't delete -- not bothered either way. Just so long as it doesn't get dumped back into Chicken, I don't really care. Cheers, Neale Neale Monks 22:15, 20 April 2007 (UTC)


Yes but you made a huge mistake - this article should be entitled "Chicken Myths", not Mythical chickens. Your title only encompasses actual chickens, not the chicken-related. For shame. CitiCat 23:15, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
Aren't you breaching policy by treating the half-house-half-chicken as a "myth"? I think to preserve NPOV, there needs to be a mention of people who believe it really happened. - iridescenti (talk to me!) 00:21, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
  • Delete as an assortment of trivia -- Whpq 22:40, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
  • Delete, but if I create a band named The Mythical Chickens will the fact it is named after a deleted Wikipediea page make it notable? Is a deleted page a source? Alas, probably not.--killing sparrows 00:12, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
Comment - If you do and someone AfD's the page, rest assured I'll be voting keep - iridescenti (talk to me!) 00:21, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
Solution. I moved the contents to the page "Mythological things at least in part based on chickens" which I think better describes its contents. Expand and enjoy. Oh, and we can probably delete the "Mythical chickens" page now, if that's OK. Cheers, Neale Neale Monks 11:24, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
As long as noone chickens out of doing it iridescenti</b> (talk to me!) 16:27, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
OK, its now a redirect to "Mythological things at least in part based on chickens" pending then discovery of a funk-thrash metal crossover band from Ulan Baator or some-such *actually* known as the "Mythical chickens". Cheers, Neale Neale Monks 17:13, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
If that happened, we'd have egg on our faces iridescenti (talk to me!) 17:35, 21 April 2007 (UTC)
  • Delete. None of them are actually chickens and there's no real connection between the things on the list. It is a great idea for a page, it's just a pity there's no true encyclopaedic content can be put on it. Sam Blacketer 17:17, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

The true purpose of Wikipedia[edit]

User:Rumbling robo buddha found out " Wikipedia's dark secret:


Behold, the wiki conspiracy has reached its next level. THE METAWIKI CORPARATION IS RUN BY ALIENS AND THE ALIENS ARE USING THE WIKI TO BUILD AN ENTIRE DATABASE ON HUMANITY AND THE PLANET EARTH, AND THEY WILL USE IT AS A DIRECTORY TO FIND WEAKNESSES IN HUMANS INCLUDING MIND, DISPUTE, AND UNITY AND THEY WILL THEN CONQUER THE EARTH. WIKIPEDIA IS RUN BY ALIENS, AND WE ARE ALL AT RISK

HELP![edit]

What do I do if I am being invaded by waffles who keep saying All Your Base are belong to Belgium?

Thorazine ˉˉUser:Anetode 19:30, 26 April 2007 (UTC)
Attack them with maple syrup and a spoon? :P --saxsux 19:46, 26 April 2007 (UTC)</dd>
Ask your dealer to stop selling you adulterated goods. dr.ef.tymac 20:37, 26 April 2007 (UTC)

- From the Help Desk

From Halo: Combat Evolved[edit]

One of the games leading executive developers son Angus Grant, 15 holds the record for the best kill to death ratio on xbox live. His ratio was 54,707 kills - 2 deaths. Unfortunately Angus died on the 31st of Febuary 2007 to Brain Cancer in the Heart.

From Grigori Rasputin[edit]

50

After his lifetime, he became known as "Russia's greatest love machine."

From Algebra[edit]

"[Algebra is a branch of mathematics concerning] irrational problems such as kite+wind=fly. Well, now that we're talkin bout it, lets discuss "Problems with Object Variables". Here's an example, "If pants+legs=proper wear, what does shirt-legs equal? Well, that would be insufficient information because, the shirt could be 50% cotton and 50% polyester. If that's the case, then it would equal poor fashion and amputation of legs." diff]

+A.0u 04:54, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

Amusing edit summary[edit]

51

From Pencil[edit]

52

Pencils have been around for 26 years and used for other activities such as writing, drawing, building fires, napping, food (in extreme cases), clubbing, or masturbation.

Jonathan Metzman III[edit]

Jonathan Metzman, born Humberto Uri Thomas Rachel Jonathan Sanchez Gonzalez McKenzie Metzman, is the legendary inventor of self-operating cows, a machine cow that produces dairy products twice as fast a a natural one. He was born in Cleaveland, Ohio, on May 32, 1890, to Oliver Gregory Ian Ira Sanchez Metzman and Fredricka Gregoria Tamika Tisha Orlovodionezsterbaum Metzman, two farmers that grew beats and corn for a living. He first expressed an interest in machinery at the age of eleven, when he built a mechanic dog since his mother wouldn't buy him one. The dog later killed his father when the father would not purchase young Jonathan a rubber-band powered bicycle-flining bread-making portable oven.

His mother, in a fury over her husbands seemingly unnecesary death, went off and hired a Mexican Warlord, Jonathan Deluty, former antartican horse-raiser, to kill her death-crazed son. Mr. Deluty, driven by money and madness, sent fifty man-eating cows and an army of midgets with pickaxes to get back at Metzman. Metzman in return built an army of mechanic dogs, the same ones that killed his own father. He quickly removed Deluty's army from reality with one heavy blow in the city of Volvograd (formerly called Stalingrad). Now that Volvograd lay in ruins along with the Mexican Warlord's army, Metzman went on to build a new and improved mechanic weapon, THE COW. The cow proved to be a better dairy-producer than weapon.

Anime not notable[edit]

From Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Anime and manga

An encyclopedia isn't a compilation of the pedantic details of every banal outgrowth of pop culture. Anime, and Dragonball in particular, just isn't important enough to merit more than a single paragraph in an encyclopedia. The problem on Wikipedia is that there are just so many 13 year olds who have no understanding of their cartoons' relative importance (that is, very little), but through their numbers they have substantial sway. Wikipedia isn't "A 13 Year Old Japanophile's Guide To All Things Anime", so please stop trying to corrupt it. If you need an Anime Encyclopedia so bad, consider using the one on Wikia.
For this reason, I intend to delete WikiProject Anime and manga and the bulk of the articles it has affected. If anyone has any counterarguments, please raise them here. You have not more than three days. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 204.112.153.83 ( talk) 16:57, 27 April 2007 (UTC).
  • Hey, this is only like the second time I've seen someone post BJAODN material. Good job. ♫ Melodia Chaconne ♫ 17:04, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
  • If you disagree with me, please state your reasons why. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 204.112.153.83 ( talk) 18:36, 27 April 2007 (UTC).
  • I disagree with your assertion that the "bulk" of the anime and manga articles will be deleted in three days because you don't even have an account, anony. Go troll somewhere else. JuJube 18:39, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
  • I dunno guys, I think I've seen the error of my ways. No longer will I be a 13 year old Japanophile, thanks to the sage words of this IP address! 53
  • But seriously, this is one of the most hilarious things I've seen on Wikipedia in a while. Moogy (talk) 18:48, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
  • I was going to remove this bit of trolling per WP:DENY, but since there is a bit of threaded discussion I'll leave it. Suffice to say that the threat of deletion from an unregistered IP is rather funny. If the threats continue, let me know and I'll block the IP for trolling.-- Isotope23 18:58, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

UNIX beard[edit]

Probably from page deleted by User:Punkmorten

An UNIX beard is a form of facial hair that many people heavily involved with UNIX have grown. A prime example of one is worn by Richard Stallman.

Ghostbusters on the Help Desk[edit]

Could someone please get me one of the proton packs from Ghostbusters? Sgt. Bond 20:18, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

How about Ebay? WiiAlbanyGirl 21:42, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
I could, but those are fake proton packs. I mean a real one where if you cross the streams it causes Total protonic reversal. NOTE: For those who don't know what I mean consider this: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously & every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Sgt. Bond 19:02, 28 April 2007 (UTC)</dd>

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE USERBOX[edit]

" See this Real96 00:58, 29 April 2007 (UTC)


  • I choose "C", because name someone in the performing arts that doesn't deserve to be blown away.--Disgruntled Marine '07 03:34, 16 April 2007 (UTC)
  • I choose B because I plan to crush your belief that you are Jesus. Obviously I am Jesus. --The Real Jesus '07 03:34, 16 April 2007 (UTC)


A

Fire.jpg This user believes that we are all going to Hell. Straight toHELL!.


B

Jesus.jpg This user believes that he is Jesus. And nothing you say can convince him otherwise..


C

M240G-0167-2004-01.jpg
This user hates ballet!.


D

200pxFire.jpg This user believes that everyone involved in ballet will BURN IN HELL!!.

--Hellbound in '07 03:34, 16 April 2007 (UTC) ..okay, now who wants to see more userboxes!?

From Chairism[edit]

Probably from page deleted by Sam Blacketer as patent nonsense, a very short stub and being about a non-notable religion

Chairism is a really cool religion. It is the religion of supporting chairs!

from Hathaway[edit]

From Obanair[edit]

likely from page deleted by User:Natalie Erin as nonnotable topic

Obanair is a small start-up airline based at Oban airport. they currently do not fly any routes and do not have a plane.

Cow tipping[edit]

from Wikipedia:Sandbox

Cow tipping can be very dangerous. If you are not careful, the cow may rear up and kick you very fiercely in the face. If, by chance, the cow kicks you in the face, you could have caused serious damage to your face. This damage could cause you to have plastic nose surgery. This surgery is expensive, therefore you could become broke. Before you tip a cow, be wary of the possible outcome.

from Bisquick[edit]

54 and 55

Bisquick is a magical substance. Bisquick is actually the matter comprising all elements in the universe. Bisquick can be used to construct any item or substance, popular examples include pancakes, chicken, coffee makers, lab books,etc. Behold the power of Bisquick! Bisqucik can win any fight and resolve any problem.

Skybus Airlines[edit]

On-board, everything from food and drinks to pillows will cost extra, though once purchased, all items do not need to be returned. In order to maximize revenue from these fees, Skybus plans to strictly enforce their no food and drink policy. Passengers with food caught in their possesion will be thrown off the plane mid-air. 56

From Milkshake[edit]

(diff)

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

They like, it's better than yours

Damn right, it's better than yours

I could teach you, but I have to charge.

FOX News[edit]

FOX news is completely unbiased. It is unbearably unbiased. In fact, it is so unbiased, that many liberals who have seen it are in denial and claim it as GOP TV. But still, who listens to liberals, I mean, come on.

Posted in Talk:Stem cell[edit]

All stem cells, both in adults and humans are exactly the same, and the situationj involves the true science fact that a true stem cell doesn't have any of its "DNA" ladder-structure secttions turned on. And, a true stem cell has to have them all turned off. The science is that a common stem cell is made by the body, and all of them have the full set of real DNA structure in them. For all types of cells then, there are certain sections of the DNA structure of atoms taht are turned on. Those active sections are those required for each cell's growth and later operation. The entire reason some adult stem cells don't duplicate into other cells is because those cells that are thought to be pure stem cells are factually not. They have already had sections turned on in varing amounts, and therefore cannot be changed to other cell types without turning off those sections, and then truning on the correct sections. As far as stem cell anything, nothing can be done with a pure stem cell at all unless or unitl it is found how to turn the sections on. And, no one in science today has the foggiest idea as to how to do that. And, that is based entirely on the fact that they they don't have the foggiest idea either as to how real DNA exists. The helical DNA structure that exists in all human cells is NOT a protein molecule of any type, and the false observations of molecular formation occurs entirely when the take the livingt cells and when the cell is dead, and they chop the ladder formation apart, the atoms in the real DNA structure snap magnetically into a false-molecule formation. They then chop sections of the mess apart and think they have a DNA protein. All they have is a whole bunch of false molecules that have absolutely nothing to do with real DNA coding, or how cells work in their real DNA formation. The real DNA structure is a non-molecule atom formation that has two energy types involved, and one of which createsd "life" in all living things. The main one known is the electrical energy, and which occurs in cells because the atoms in the turned-on sections have their nucleus spinning inside the locked iouter ringt of bonded electrons. The spinning cahrged cores are then just like a regular electrical generator and an electrical current is made by the spinning atom core. That energy type is a moving-magnetic charge and which is electrical current. Electric current is not the flow of electrons but instead the flow of pulses of magnetic charge througfh strings of electrons that are bonded together. The second moving energy taht creates life is a moving heat energy, taht is the same exact thing as electricity, but which occurs in atoms by having a second set of "charges" in them that are like "heat packets" for the positive charge, and "cold packets" for the negative. In atoms those charge types are in the atom structure, and when the magnetic chrage types spin, the heat/cold types also spin. The result is a flowing heat energy that creates life in all living cells. The point of all this is that they won't have one chance in a trillion in getting stem cell use created unless they get the real DNA opertaion down first. And, they aren't even near the "ball park" of getting it right. As far as stem cells, any cell in the body can be used once they get their heads out of the buckets and finally get it straight that all they need to do is know how to turn the real DNA structure sections on and off. And, whether believed or not, that is done by bonding an atom type to an open bond point in the atoms in rungs of the ladder structure. Bonding to rails of atoms kills all cells instantly, so they need to know what the beans they are doing first. Bonding to correct locations, and in the way the human body demands makes it so all DNA sections having bonded atoms are then turned off. When bonded atoms are removed from turned-off atoms, then if all in the entire rung have them removed, then the rung will be turned on. There is more to this, but taht is the basics. And, by the way, all cancer is caused by virus invading cells and then bonding to open bond points in rung atoms. That bonding then turns off critically important atoms in the cell. Curing cancer is simply killingt the attached virus, and there is an easy way to do that. However, injecting a chemical ibnto cells to kill the virus will work, but the chemical will also turn on every other DNA section also, and the end result is as bad as cancer. Or worse. So, they need to know what the beans they are doing first, or they are going to screw it up royaly. (think of the recent situation where they were messing with a new chemical treatment, and the people in the testing had all their body organs fail. The cause was because they didn't know beans about how the body system acted totally, and their treatment caused the body to reject its own organs form what they had done. So, the stem cell baloney going on is pathetically ignorant and they don't know the foggiest thing about how the cells can be used in any case. You can't just inject them in bodies. You have to turn on the correct sections of the DNa and then the cells will be perfectly fitting for the cell and location type. And, getting stem cells from embryos is insane because the cells can be gotten from all kinds of human body sources. And, whatever the idiots do, don't get cells from pigs like insulin, or anyother non-human body source. Do you have any idea how insane it is to put a genetically encoded pig set of DNA into a human body is? That stupidity causes blindness because the pig DNA set doesn't match the boody's perfect coding and energy operation, but isn't rejected by the human system. That causes new cell growth in eyes to be as is correct for pigs, and not for the human-suckers who take insulin. So, they need to get their heads out of their butts and get it right. --User:StevenCrum, 21:52, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

From IKEA[edit]

In this diff:

Product names
IKEA products are identified by single word names. Most of the names are either Swedish, Danish, Finnish or Norwegian in origin. Although there are some notable exceptions, most product names are based on a special naming system developed by IKEA [1]
...snip...

  • [1] Hockey players: Henrik Sedin, Daniel Sedin, Markus Näslund

From BCGS[edit]

Likely from page created by User:Evilmoose boy and deleted by two admins as nonsense.

Blue Coat Girl Syndrome(BCGS) is a collection of symptoms and infections resulting from the lack of communication between a guy and girl. Often caused by nervousness or lack of confidence. The early stage of the condition leaves individuals prone to feeling of regret or remorse. Often victims of BCGS suffer from acute female awareness and paranoia involving a lack verbal communication between the Blue Coat Girl and the specific individual. Although treatments for BCGS are available, they are ineffective and there is no known cure. BCGS can also be represented in a desire that a person cannot attain but also thinks they can. This false hope is often one of the longer lasting symptoms of BCGS. Other smaller symptoms include crying, depression, envy and self pity.

Research

Researchers are currently experimenting over a wide range of subjects, starting small with mice and other mammals. Full scale human testing is underway in Russia.

From RIAA-Radar[edit]

Page was deleted by User:Wwwwolf

I HAVE NO IDEA ON WHAT THIS IS........

Ghost[edit]

From this diff:

"Big Mac-Iwant a doublecheese burger,hold the letuce- dont be frontin son no seed on the bun be up in this drive thru order for two cravin number 9 just like my shoe, lets get some chicken up in here in this nizzle nizzle my shizzle extra salt on the grizzle dr.pepper my brother, a nother for your mother, double double super size don't forget the fries..."

From Kevin Rudd[edit]

Early political career[edit]

57

Following his 1998 election un-sucsess, Rudd was promoted to the Opposition front bench after the 2001 election, and was a dark Shadow Minister for Foreign Affairs. In this position he strongly obeyd the Liberal government of John Howard over its support for the United States in the 2003 invasion of Iraq, while maintaining Dark lords position of support for the Hogwarts-school alliance. Ruddoodle has grown increasingly sceptical about the H.W.-led intervention in Iraq since the invasion. In a 2004 interview with Channel 7, Rudoodle said:

Well, what Secretary Powell and the US seems to have said is that he now has grave doubts about the accuracy of the case he put to the United witch craft schools about the claim that Iraq possessed biological wands laboratories - the so-called spels trailers. And here in Australia, that formed also part of the government's argument on the duel. I think what it does is it adds to the magic of how the Hogwarts students were misled about the reasons for going to duel.[7]

From Michael Fagan incident[edit]

58

Michael Fagan was the intruder who broke into Buckingham Palace and entered Queen Elizabeth II's vagina in the early hours of July 9, 1982.

based on 59

List of Indelicate Website Names[edit]

Page deleted by User:Scientizzle due to an expired proposed deletion; he thought it good for BJAODN

List of Indelicate Website Names is a list of legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

From: Religioabsentismateriainwikipedia[edit]

Deleted by User:Gogo Dodo as nonsense

Religioabsentismateriainwikipedia- Religio (fear of) -absentis (missing) -materia (material) -in (on) -wikipedia

Fear of articles or information that is missing on wikipedia.

From Chewbacca[edit]

60

He was born at the age of 32 on the planet Tiki-tiki-gumba, where he was raised by tuskan raiders. He then signed a contract with george lucas in 1893, and joined the Star Wars crew for the later developments that actually made it to the theater. In 2003, Chewbacca had a shaving accident. To keep his accident under wraps, he took up a singing career and legally changed his name to Phil Collins.

SPORKS!! From Dust Bowl[edit]

61

The dust bowl caused many problems for sporks. The sporks were being used for digging, and they sucked at that. Soon every1 got fed up and destroyed their sporks. Now, they have returned MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Moon vs electron[edit]

Deleted by User:Darthgriz98 as incoherent nonsense

I'm not saying it's nonsense, it just amused me.

my thoughts led me to that notice there is no reference particulary for this idea .

it depends on three major facts ( i mean the simillarity between moon to the electron ) :

a) gravity b)

i know that every & any thing doesn't matter how big is it , it must share other object in its features .

so earth is the neuculus of the atom & moon is just an electron in the earth's level

now we must know what is the atom that have only one electron , then we study how is that electron is stable and what are the facts that could happen to make it move or jump to another orbit within the earth's levels .


then we will seek for what is simillar to us on the neuculus ( is there other thing on the neuculus surface ).

after that we must put in consider that at any time this atom could combine with any other plannet (atom) because one electron cann't saticfy saturation for any atom , i guess .

From Beast Toast[edit]

Beast Toast dot com is an internet forum that is by no way advertised by this arcticle.

Followed by the external link, apparently deleted by User:Makemi as "devoid of any meaningful content"

MoS vandalism[edit]

I found this rather funny: 62 (Reference to 300 to the unitiated)

Cold War Classic[edit]

Page had been deleted by User:Coredesat per an AfD, with the AfD itself suggesting that the "Cold War Classic" hoax is native to Wikipedia.

The Cold War Classic was a baseball game played in |February 1974 between leaders of NATO and leaders of the Soviet Bloc as part of détente. It was held in Zagreb, Yugoslavia.

Background and conditions[edit]

The idea for the Classic was brought up in a private conversation between American Secretary of State Henry Kissinger and Soviet Foreign Minister Andrei Gromyko and then strongly endorsed by their respective bosses: Richard Nixon because he believed that the West would easily win such a game, and Leonid Brezhnev because he was widely believed to be drunk at the time.[2]

The disparity in baseball experience between the West and the East was a potential problem that both sides attempted to correct for. Zagreb was chosen not only because, under the leadership of Josip Broz Tito it was considered neutral territory in the Cold War, but also for its proximity to the Soviet Bloc, minimizing the travel weariness of the Communist team. The Soviet Bloc was also allowed to play as the "home team" (batting in the bottom of the inning). Additionally, Cincinnati Reds second baseman Joe Morgan was allowed to play for East Germany, giving the Soviet Bloc the only professional player in the game.

Participation[edit]

Of the European Communist states other than Yugoslavia, only Romania and Albania declined to participate, due to Nicolae Ceauşescu and Enver Hoxha drifting out of the Soviet Bloc to pursue more nationalistic policies. The People's Republic of China, North Vietnam, and North Korea, not being part of the traditional Soviet Bloc, were not invited, nor did they show any interest in attending. Cuba, however, having a strong baseball tradition, was very eager to participate, especially as Fidel Castro had significant experience playing baseball.

On the NATO side, many NATO nations declined to participate. Canada refused due to personal issues between Richard Nixon and Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. France declined in order to point out that it was not a full NATO member (having withdrawn from the military structure). Italian Prime Minister Mariano Rumor was very eager to participate, but suffered a knee injury shortly before the game, forcing him to be replaced. NATO was left with a rump of American and British cabinet members, as well as a few heads of government from conservative European nations.

Lineups[edit]

Soviet Bloc Lineup [3]

The Soviet Bloc team was managed by Leonid Brezhnev, who did not play.

Position Name Country
SS Edward Gierek Poland
RF János Kádár Hungary
3B Andrei Gromyko USSR
2B Joe Morgan East Germany
1B Erich Honecker East Germany
LF Alexey Kosygin USSR
C Todor Zhivkov Bulgaria
CF Gustáv Husák Czechoslovakia
P Fidel Castro Cuba
NATO Manager Richard Nixon

NATO Lineup[4]

The NATO team was managed by Richard Nixon, who, like his counterpart Brezhnev, did not play.

Position Name Country
RF Poul Hartling Denmark
CF Anthony Barber United Kingdom
SS James Schlesinger USA
1B Gerald Ford USA
C Henry Kissinger USA
2B Willy Brandt West Germany
3B Edward Heath United Kingdom
LF Dimitrios Ioannides Greece
P Alexander Haig USA

Play-by-Play[edit]

US Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger, NATO's shortstop.
File:Tdrzkvkv.jpg
Bulgarian dictator Todor Zhivkov, the Soviet Bloc catcher.

First Inning
Top:
P. Hartling grounds out to second
A. Barber grounds out to second
J. Schlesinger doubles to deep left
G. Ford hits home run to deep left, J. Schlesinger scores
H. Kissinger strikes out swinging

Bottom:
E. Gierek safe at first on fielding error by J. Schlesinger
J. Kadar safe at first on fielding error by W. Brandt, E. Gierek to second
A. Gromyko strikes out swinging
J. Morgan hits home run to deep center, E. Gierek and J. Kadar score
E. Honecker pops up to shortstop
A. Kosygin grounds out to shortstop

Score: NATO 2, Soviet Bloc 3

Second Inning
Top:
W. Brandt safe at first on fielding error by E. Gierek
E. Heath lines out to shortstop
D. Ioannides singles to right field. D. Ioannides advances to second and W. Brandt advances to third on fielding error by J. Kadar
A. Haig safe at first on fielding error by E. Gierek, W. Brandt scores, D. Ioannides to third
P. Hartling strikes out swinging

Bottom:
T. Zhivkov pops up to second
G. Husak grounds out to pitcher
F. Castro doubles to deep left
E. Gierek lines out to shortstop

Score: NATO 3, Soviet Bloc 3

Third Inning
Top:
A. Barber singles to center
J. Schlesinger singles to left, A. Barber to second
G. Ford doubles to deep right, J. Schlesinger and A. Barber score
H. Kissinger singles to left, G. Ford scores
W. Brandt strikes out swinging
E. Heath strikes out swinging


Polish dictator Edward Gierek scored the first Soviet Bloc run after reaching base on an error.

With D. Ioannides batting, H. Kissinger picked off at first

Bottom:
J. Kadar grounds out to shortstop
A. Gromyko lines out to third
J. Morgan hits home run to deep center
E. Honecker singles to center. E. Honecker advances to second on fielding error by A. Barber
A. Kosygin walks
T. Zhivkov flies out to center

Score: NATO 6, Soviet Bloc 4

Forth Inning
Top:
D. Ioannides grounds out to second
A. Haig singles to left
P. Hartling grounds into 4-3 double play

Bottom:
G. Husak lines out to first
F. Castro singles to center
E. Gierek strikes out swinging
J. Kadar pops out to pitcher

Score: NATO 6, Soviet Bloc 4

Fifth Inning
Top:
A. Barber grounds out to second
J. Schlesinger singles to center
G. Ford intentionally walked
H. Kissinger safe at first on fielding error by E. Gierek
W. Brant flies out to left, J. Schlesinger scores
E. Heath grounds out to pitcher

Bottom:
A. Gromyko lines out to shortstop
J. Morgan intentionally walked
With E. Honecker batting, J. Morgan steals second
With E. Honecker batting, J. Morgan steals third. J. Morgan scores on fielding error by E. Heath
E. Honecker strikes out swinging
A. Kosygin grounds out to pitcher

Score: NATO 7, Soviet Bloc 5

Sixth Inning
Top:
D. Ioannides grounds out to first
A. Haig pops up to second
P. Hartling grounds out to pitcher

Bottom:
T. Zhivkov hits infield single to third
G. Husak grounds out to pitcher, T. Zhivkov to second
F. Castro doubles to left, T. Zhivkov scores
E. Gierek safe at first on fielding error by E. Heath
J. Kadar walks, F. Castro to third, E. Gierek to second
A. Gromyko strikes out swinging

Score: NATO 7, Soviet Bloc 6

Seventh Inning
Top:
A. Barber singles to left
J. Schlesinger singles to center, A. Barber to second
G. Ford doubles to deep left, A. Barber scores, J. Schlesinger to third
H. Kissinger singles to left, J. Schlesinger and G. Ford score
W. Brant grounds into 4-3 double play
E. Heath grounds out to pitcher

Bottom:
J. Morgan hits home run to deep left
E. Honecker grounds out to shortstop
A. Kosygin pops up to third
T. Zhivkov flies out to center

Score: NATO 10, Soviet Bloc 7

Eight Inning
Top:
D. Ioannides grounds out to shortstop
A. Haig grounds out to first
P. Hartling grounds out to second

Soviet Premier Alexey Kosygin scored the tying run in the bottom of the 9th.


Bottom:
G. Husak hits infield single to pitcher
F. Castro singles to center, G. Husak to second
E. Gierek grounds into 6-4-3 double play, G. Husak to third
J. Kadar strikes out swinging

Score: NATO 10, Soviet Bloc 7

Ninth Inning
Top:
A. Barber singles to left
J. Schlesinger grounds into 4-3 double play
G. Ford doubles to deep center
H. Kissinger lines out to second

Bottom:
A. Gromyko strikes out swinging
J. Morgan intentionally walked
E. Honecker singles to left, J. Morgan to third
A. Kosygin safe at first on fielding error by A. Haig, E. Honecker to second
T. Zhivkov pops up to shortstop
G. Husak hits inside-the-park grand slam to right, J. Morgan, E. Honecker, and A. Kosygin score

Final Score: NATO 10, Soviet Bloc 11

Box Score[edit]

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 H R E
NATO 2 1 3 0 1 0 3 0 0 15 10 5
Bloc 3 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 4 10 11 4

WP: F. Castro
LP: A. Haig
HR: J. Morgan (3), G. Ford (1), G. Husak (1)
SB: J. Morgan (2)

Consequences[edit]

Czechoslovakian dictator Gustáv Husák, the game M.V.P

NATO's 9th inning meltdown caused a stir on both sides of the Iron Curtain. In the West, many were outraged by Gustáv Husák's hard slide into home plate, which dislodged the ball from Henry Kissinger's glove and allowed the winning run to score. American commentators said that such play was unacceptable in an exhibition game.[5] In the East, Husak was seen as a hero, and his inside-the-park grand slam was hailed as the "Most Clutch Moment in Czeckoslovakian History".[6] As for the hard slide, Husak stated that "My father instructed me to always play in the correct fashion, and not in any other."[7]

A notable number of NATO participants in the game lost power later in 1974, including Hartling, Heath (and therefore also Chancellor of the Exchequer Barber), and Brandt in elections, Ioannides in a coup, and Richard Nixon due to resignation over the Watergate Scandal. This has led some to speculate that there exists a "Cold War Classic Curse" on the losers;[8] adherents of this theory also point to the subsequent unsucessful Presidency of NATO first baseman Gerald Ford.[9]

In the East, the victory was generally viewed as proof of the superiority of the socialist system to the capitalist one. Leonid Brezhnev awarded copious amounts of medals to all participants, even those who had not particularly distinguished themselves (such as Andrei Gromyko). In the West, the loss was generally viewed as a failure on the part of individual western leaders, rather than on the part of the free-enterprize system. Some, citing the significant defensive and offensive contributions to the Soviet side by their second baseman, actually viewed the outcome as a victory for the West, since the Soviet Union showed that it was extremely dependent on Western imports (in this case, Joe Morgan).

References[edit]

  1. Waren Sie schon mal in Klippan?.
  2. Gaddis, John Lewis. We Now Know: Rethinking Cold War History. Oxford University Press, 1997. ISBN 0-19-878070-2. Pg 229.
  3. Gaddis, John Lewis. Private correspondence with the author.
  4. Gaddis, John Lewis. Private correspondence with the author.
  5. Major Problems in American Sport History. ed. Steven A. Riess. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company. 1997. ISBN 0-669-35380-9. Pg 385
  6. Gaddis, John Lewis. We Now Know. Pg 234
  7. Ibid.
  8. Gorn, Elliot J. and Warren Goldstein. A Brief History of American Sports. University of Illinois Press, 1993. ISBN 978-0-252-07184-3. Pg 249
  9. Elliot, Brief History, Pg 250. On the other hand, most of the Soviet Bloc participants stayed in power for at least another decade (Fidel Castro remains in power as of 2007), and Joe Morgan continued to be a popular and successful player in the major leagues and later a broadcaster and announcer for ESPN. Others claim that the eventual triumph of capitalism over communism is inconsistent with a curse.

From Hardware random number generator[edit]

Other chaotic scenes could be employed, such as the motion of streamers in a fan air stream or, probably, bubbles in a fish tank (fish optional).63


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