BJAODN 42: The Answer to Bad Jokes, the Universe, and Other Deleted Nonsense

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

If you don't know what this one is based on, you haven't been around BJAODN long. ^_^

Contents

[edit] Flard

Straight out of Viz Comic: Flard is a brand of flavored lard which is marketed by the Nexplode Corporation. Using cutting edge focus group methods, the Flard advertising campaign is much more of notice than the product itself, being simply lard which is flavored. The use of "extreme graphics" to appeal to a young, "hip" audience has been the hallmark of the Flard campaign.

First premiered in 1999 in select areas of L.A. and Brooklyn NY, the Flard campaign has mostly targeted groups of young people who seem to consider themselves part of a counter culture. Seen by many as the child of the "OK Soda" campaign, Flard has enjoyed moderate success as a product. Frank Borap, creator of the advertising strategy, has called Flard's accomplishment "a stunning confirmation that people will buy anything if the package looks edgy.”

For example, here are the five original Flard labels:

[edit] From the Sandbox

Encompassed in these edit here [1]

My sandbox, my pulpit - you may try to be handy and launch a destination awry.

Think of this as of the trial to be offended... Because of the ineluctable modality of the visible... You may die and you may be reborn... A transmigration of souls, for all I care

Don't touch this, 'cause it's sacred.

*touch*
Hey, welcome to Wikipedia - the encyclopedia that anyone can edit! :-) --HappyCamper 14:15, 4 March 2006 (UTC)

A touch, a glimpse of hand... A sleight of hand, a brush of thoughtless hand, that brushes thine life away. --62.84.15.238 14:19, 4 March 2006 (UTC)

You may find some autonomy here as well... to get lost in the "sands" of the sandbox is my utter intention.

Ah, the poetry of the sublime - transcendental confluence... --HappyCamper 14:24, 4 March 2006 (UTC)
I wonder if Auden's poetry is forbidden here... Does it qualify as the public domain? ;)


[edit] from Matt hardman

</div>Full name; Matthew Alistar Montgumery Damian Etherstoofle Comdooble Hardman III

The Rt Hon. Matt Hardman
BJAODN 42: The Answer to Bad Jokes, the Universe, and Other Deleted Nonsense
In office
men dont have periods

Political party The Ministry of Mysterious Men with Magical Moustaches

[edit] The Early Years

Matthew sort of ebbed into existence through a small time portal that has subsequently been swallowed by a hippopotamus in a trampolining accident. Matt came thorough on the 6th May 1989. The portal the subsequently spewed a few other curious looking organisms, that have since spread al over the planet, they are know as christians, they are quaint and simple folk, not much bothered by the complicated world. After his birth Matthew started a career as a child prodigy, not specialsing in any particular area, though it soon became apparent that he had a certain apptitude for judging which melon would fit best on which head. He then moved in to the realms of other fruit, such as mango and Cowboys.

[edit] The Not-so Early Years

There was a period in the 16th Century when Matthew became embroiled in the onraging war between the Quadnarihathian Tribal Monsters of Alpha Gamma 06 and some bugs that got stuck to his shoe. A battlefleet was sent to destroy him, but after passing through a wormhole complications were encountered in which they enered a popular london fashion party celebrating the release of a new line of clothing. Though due to scale issues where then subsequently snorted by some-one who thought that they were takin cocaine but it was actually chalk dust. Matt then again became a child prodigy, though this time specializing in a different area, after a couple of years spent in an orphanage, matthew came across some magic shoes, which gave him phenomenal basketball ability, he then went on to become a proffesional NBA basketball player. He averaged 1 point a game for a period, where for eighty nine games he would score no points, and then on the ninetyeth game he would score ninety points, unfortunately his career was only eighty nine games long and he was released with zero points. His escapade in the NBA was the inspiration for the film "Like Mike" made in 2002, although the movie differs much from the true story, it does still have clear parralells.

[edit] The Political Years

The Cabinet of Matthews Government currently

For a brief period of time stretching from a while ago to now, as he is still in office, Matthew became presidential priministerial imperial monarch of a small self made principality of his bedroom, though the country is small with a population of 27,000 loyal subjects, it is not the smallest country. His party The Ministry of Mysterious Men with Magical Moustaches has past many controversial laws regarding facial hair, including a law regarding a class structure based on moustache size. This led to a severe uprising in the most southerly provinces of the principality. A large army of over 1 man gathered and marched the seven thousand miles to Matthews palace, where they demanded the recatogorization of handlebar moustaches in ochre brown, Matthew declined there request and subsequently a war was waged for a thousand years, explaining its name, the two hundred year war.

[edit] Current Party; The Ministry of Mysterious Men with Magical Moustaches

The Ministry of Mysterious Men with Magical Moustaches has had many different representatives in its history, in quite a few different countries, these include such figures as Stalin, who opted for the natural moustache, with slight tapering toward the end, Hitler, who controversially went for the toothbrush, though his advisors informed him it appeared like he had incredible nose hair, and various others. They stand for a society where people should not have to put up with the Indecency of a naked upper lip. This has been very controversial, especially among some woman who do not naturally feature lip hair.

[edit] Previous Party's

[edit] Matts super happy fun magical googoo whacko majigger powabblo party

Matthew started this party to win a bet, but really the joke was on him as the party cost more to set up than he won from the bet, and also the man he bet with never paid him as Matthew made the deal behind a small Railway Modelling Festival whilst in a drunken Stupor. The party had no major campaign or political motives (which is generally uncommon for a political party) but this seemed to appeal to voters as he went on to be Priminister of France five years consequetively, though matthew never served the french people because he left after winning the election because he doesnt like french people.

[edit] The Monster Raving Loony Party

The Monster Raving Loony Party are people who stand up for their rights and fight against a modern society which discriminate against the now recognized Religion and Ethnic Origin; Monster Raving Lunacy.

[edit] FG's Party

was a pretty awesome party wasn't it!

[edit] The Scientist Years

[edit] from Subascensionism

Subascensionism is a religion created by Brian S., James P., Paul D., and Daniel H. in March of 2006 during a Computer Science class that was moving far too slowly that day for the overactive minds of The Four Prophets. Subascensionism is primarily based on geometry, but it has been expanded and the geometric shapes have been personified in order to make it more closely resemble more common religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Mormonism, or Hinduism.

Subascensionism is a very young parody religion, though its followers would either consider it a legitimate religion in its own right, or claim that it is no more fictional than any other religion currently being practiced in the world. One man pointed out on Subascensionism's first day of existence that rather than petitioning to teach the religion in science class, Subascensionism could be taught, instead, along with other mathematical theorems and postulates.

[edit] History

Subascensionism is very young. Its original concept was generated in less than 50 minutes by The Four Prophets while they were supposed to be working, but, as The First Prophet Brian S. claims, "inspiration from the divine can hit you any second. POW!"

The last names of The Prophets are unknown to all but The Prophets and a large majority of the Higher Beings, especially The Line, The Point, Mandelbrot, and Julia. This is in part due to the mandate that thier last names be only represented by the first letter, followed by a period representing The Point. Although the first names of The Prophets are known, it is acceptable to reffer to them as B.S., J.P., P.D., and D.H., as more periods means more representation of The Point.

Although it has not yet occured, The Prophet B.S. forsees (and warns against) a three-way schism among the followers of Subascensionism: the religion will sadly split into Biopticalians, Monopticalian, and Exopticalians, the argument being over the glasses worn by The Prophets.

"Beware! For the Subascensionists shall split."
"And they shall be rendered into three, split as thus:"
"The Biopticalians, noting the glass sight-aids upon the elder of us, will insist upon such sight-aids for all."
"The Exopticalians, noting the absence of said sight-aids upon the more energetic of us, will insist that said sight-aids condemn you to serve Mandelbrot."
"And then, there shall be the Monopticalians. The Monopticalians shall see the feuding between the Bi and Ex, and will have a revelation: one half of us wear sight-aids, one half does not. And thus, all should split the difference and wear one half of a sight-aid."
Book of Brian S., Chapter III, Verses XI-XVI

The Prophet B.S. continued his prediction, citing the further division of the Monopticalians, one half of them wearing monocles, the other half wearing full glasses every other day.

[edit] Beliefs

Due to the young nature of Subascensionism, its beliefs and doctrines are molded as the movement gains followers, and even through the course of a boring class period. However, despite changes that are happening, the following is a list of truths within the Subascensionist religion:

  • There are five known dimensions, each containing an entity or entities that belong within the hierarchy of the faith.
    • The 0th dimension contains one entity: The Point.
    • The 1st dimension contains one entity: The Line.
    • The 2nd dimension contains innumerable entities, classed in our perceptions as 2D shapes.
    • The 3rd dimension is Earth and the rest of the known universe, and is pitied for its weakness. Due to this pity, the rules placed throughout the dimensions are slightly relaxed for entities living within this dimension.
    • The 4th dimension is the Subascensionist equivalent to Hell in other religions; it is presided over by Mandelbrot and Julia.
    • It is believed that there are further dimensions, collectively called Oblivion. Souls that can neither be reformed nor tortured sufficiently in the 4th dimension are sent there for all eternity - there is no escape.
  • The Point is the origin of everything we know.
    • The Point erratically generates new souls.
    • Rapture will occur when each dimension is enveloped in its predecessor, until there is only The Line and The Point left. The Line will then be absorbed by The Point, and The Point will remain, alone, until it creates the universe once more.
  • Neither Mandelbrotn nor Julia were created by The Point or The Line. The Prophet J.P. guessed that they came from the -1st dimension.
  • The closer one is to The Line, the more perfect the soul is (thus, triangles and circles are the most perfect 2D shapes, and humans that are especially skinny and angular are closer to subascension)
    • Subascension from the 2nd dimension makes the soul a part of The Line. If a soul that is part of The Line somehow manages to subascend, it will become part of The Point.
      • Once part of The Point, the soul has acheived ultimate perfection, and cannot degrade itself from there.
  • The soul is immortal, though it can become frozen in Oblivion or The Point.
    • When the body dies, the soul is judged for reincarnation.
      • A soul with an organic shape will become reincarnated within the same dimension, as the organic shape is improper.
      • A soul with a geometric shape that has followed the doctrines of Subascensionism will subascend to a lower-valued dimension (3rd to 2nd, 2nd to 1st, etc.), ultimately terminating by joining with The Point.
      • A soul with a geometric shape that has done nothing will remain as if it were organic.
      • A soul with a geometric shape that has been evil and blasphemous will ascend to a higher-valued dimension, ultimately terminating in Oblivion.
    • A reincarnated soul has no memory of previous life, as memory depends on the body. If the soul has just ascended, rather than subascended, the body will be infused with an urge to repair the damage placed upon the soul.
  • The Line is pleased by all of the following, and may cause them to subascend at intervals. (Note that these objects do have souls, and can fall from favor in The Line's eyes, at which point they are ascended back to thier point of origin.)
    • Socks (especially those made for left feet)
    • TV remotes
    • Car keys (for some reason, The Line takes more interest in keys just before their owner needs them)
    • Pencils and Pens
    • Glasses (though these seem to be especially prone to ascension)
    • Small children's toys (especially those that were received free of charge)

[edit] Key Figures

There are several key figures in the religion of Subascensionism.

  • The Point - The Point is the origin of everything except for Mandelbrot and Julia. To quote The Prophet B.S. from Book of Brian S., Chapter I, Verse I, "In the begginning, there was The Point. From The Point sprang The Line. And From The Line came all else."
  • The Line - The Line is the equivalent of God in Abrahamic religions, and directly or indirectly created everything, excluding The Point, Mandelbrot, and Julia.
  • The Figure With An Infinite Number Of Sides - The Figure is a 2D geometric figure with an infinite number of sides. The Figure is the God of Disaster and the God of Peace.
  • Brian S. - The First Prophet, one of the elder prohpets, and the one who has done the most work of the four.
  • James P. - The Second Prophet, one of the younger prophets, and the one who has done almost as much as B.S.
  • Paul D. - The Third Prophet, who joins B.S. as an elder. Though excited at the begining of his existence as prophet, he was quickly reduced to boredom.
  • Daniel H. - The Fourth Prophet, joining J.P. as a young prophet. He has been negligent in his prophetic duties, but is a prophet nonetheless.
  • Mandelbrot and Julia - Mandelbrot is the equivalent of Satan in Abrahamic religions, though his origins are uncertain. The only suggestion is that he came from the -1st dimension, and he then traveled upward through the negivtive dimensions only to arrive at the base of Oblivion, and then advanced upward. All this dimensional travel apparently contorted Mandelbrot to his current shape. Julia is the god(dess) of Sex, and apparently she followed Mandelbrot's path, and was contorted in a different way. She is capable of shape-shifting to some degree, and so can tempt both males and females.
    • Dythech - The spawn of Mandelbrot and Julia, the Dythech (translated to "Demons") form approximately a quarter of the inhabitants of the 4th dimension.
  • The Evil - The Evil is the only known occurance (besides the possibility of Mandelbrot and Julia) of an entity escaping Oblivion. The story is written in the Book of James P.

[edit] Geneology

From The Point came The Line. From The Line came all of the 2D shapes. From the union of the circles and organic shapes came all of the 3D shapes. From the minds of men came the 4D shapes. Mandelbrot and Julia arrived, and from them came the Dythech.

Subascensionism geneology

[edit] Iconography

The Suascensionism logo.

For the simple purpose of representing Subascensionism, Brian S. has created a logo for the movement. Consisting of an aqua-colored circle containing the image of a red and black Mandelbrot, which is being struck strough the middle by a white line. Of the image, Brian S. has said:

"The logo represents everything the religion is about. We've got Mandelbrot and his flames on the lowest layer (fourth dimesion) of the image. Atop Mandelbrot is a peaceful circle, one of the parents of the third dimension and one of the most powerful shapes of the second dimesnion. Finally, a representation of The Line rests on top, stretching out past the borders of the image. The Line is white, for it reflects all (white light) and is pure. The line also strikes through Mandelbrot's heart, representing the conflict between them."

[edit] See also

[edit] from Snail

The first sentence appears in the real article. Carnivorous snails, such as the Decollate Snail feed on other snails. Some snails eat humans using it's sharp jaws. Every year 400 people die from snails.


        /
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      /
     /
    /
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[edit] Oriental Ruthless Boys

Oriental Ruthless Boys (ORB) is one of the biggest Hmong gangs in United States, originating in Fresno, CA. ORB don't claim any colors, they stay true to Hmong Pride. They got members in alot of states, such as California, Colorado, Minnesota, Wisconsin, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Florida. There members are usually bald and the way they dress other gangs know who they are. There main enemies are Men of Destruction, Purple Brothers, White Tiger, Imperial Gangster, Asian Crips, Cobra, Unknown Rapist Crew, Mongolian Boys Society, and Asian Pride. ORB gang members is the most hardcore asian gangs to ever exist. They dont clique with no other gangs, they stand by themselves and still defeat all those other gangs. ORB is the only hmong gang that is respected and feared. Their main rival is MOD which they easily always seem to beat up.Beware of the Oriental Ruthless Boys. They are no joke.

Note: apparently this is a real gang. Still hilarious.

[edit] Wikipedia List of Rules and Regulations

Edit politely. Be kind!

For Chrissakes let ladies edit before you! Here at Wikipedia we are very chivalrous.

Stop that!

Dont even think about editing in that manner!

[edit] From a speedied attack page

(Name redacted) started life as a very small furry ball, and may have been mistaken for moss. for some inexplicable reason and some form of turbo evolution he managed to grow arms and legs. This process melted sympathetic parts of his mind including: lady emotions ( love, kindness, generosity, tolerance, being able to shave ) and left him with an angry pool of rage, hate, disdain and intolerance of many people in society. This combined with being very short has left him a bitter individual and prone to outbursts at authoritative figures and also looking at Swinneys legs.

[edit] Shakespeare in Texan

From Wikipedia:Reference desk/Language:

[edit] Macbeth Act 5 Scene 1

What is the modern translation of Macbeth Act 5 Scene 1

Shakespeare wrote in modern English. Which other language did you want it translated to? - Nunh-huh 18:43, 5 March 2006 (UTC)
Perhaps s/he wants it translated from Early Modern English to, uh, contemporary English? --Chris S. 18:51, 5 March 2006 (UTC)
That wouldn't be a translation. It would be a paraphrase. If he is having problems with a specific sentence, he'd do better to ask here for an explanation of its meaning, if he wants some useful help. - Nunh-huh 03:31, 6 March 2006 (UTC)
I don't see why it wouldn't be translating. It's taking a source text that's in one dialect and transforming it to a text in another dialect. That is the essence of translation.--Prosfilaes 05:37, 6 March 2006 (UTC)
Translation is a rendering from one language into another. It's not about dialect, it's about language. - Nunh-huh 11:24, 6 March 2006 (UTC)
Maybe they prefer a Texan American paraphrasing? Doctor: Go to, go to; you have known what you should not. / Doctor: Now git. Y'ain't spos'd ta know thaet. I don't have the never to paraphrase the whole thing.  freshgavinΓΛĿЌ  06:48, 6 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Havarti

In ancient times Havarti was also used for sporting purposes. Rumours even exist that Havarti was used in the first ancient Olypmic games. In some Balkan nations the game is still played where opponents aim large stones of Havarti at washboards.

[edit] From Ubbi dubbi

See [2], a translation of the article into Ubbi dubbi.

[edit] From Wardriving

War driving is often a surreptitious activity: this long-range wardriver leaves only his shadow.


[edit] From The Rabbit of Caerbannog

On April 20, 1979, U.S. President Jimmy Carter, while fishing in a pond, was "attacked" by a "crazed killer rabbit".

[edit] From Foundation-l email on the existence of wikiversity.at

In response to a short note by Eloquence

Erik, you free information voter registration spamming volatile
barbarian radical/paleoliberal you,

If this were not a troll then why would the "Foreign Information For
Illegal Alien Students" link
(http://wikiversity.at/MyWiki/index.php?title=Kategorie:Information_for_fore
ign_students)
on the front page be in English instead of Russian or Ancient Mayan to
take advantage of the soon to be released Lethal Weapon 42 collaboration
between Canadian and Australian conspirators bent on stealing
Hollywood's golden geese plantations?

One of these days I am going to start advocating that others ignore
anonymously owned sites unwilling to even to fake affidavits of non
association with the evil associates who are unduly influencing the
Wikimedia Foundation.  Obviously this will require some participation at
the offending sites ... inevitably leaving dribbles of valuable top
secret proprietary thoughts virally released to the world.

A terrible dillemma ... at times like this I ask myself ... what would
bad copy screecher do at a time like this?  Since he is my arch rival
and an agent of Satan, I have only to flip the bozo bit and proceed in
an appropriately complex direction partially tangential to zero.  He
advises ignoring trolls!  Therefore I do not! Excellent! Vorticity check
confirms viable congruence with personal inclination previously proven
in transparent play pens.  The word is given.

Go! Away! Back! Somewhere! Here! There! Where! When! Sooner! Later! i^2
Origin, Uno, Bi, Hex, Pluto, iq^3, Boom!  Very funny.  Soon. Enough.

[edit] From Ejaculation

The ejaculation feels so good. As you are penetrating your lover, or your hand or even an animal, your muscles start to tighten up, leaving a tingly senstation. Then BAM MOTHERFUCKER! Your blowing your load all over the bitches face. Or all over your parents pillows. Bush sucks.

[edit] From Asperger syndrome

Asperger syndrome can involve an intense and obsessive level of focus on things of interest. For example, one person might be obsessed with 1950s professional wrestling, another with national anthems of African dictatorships, another with building models out of matchsticks and another by atending every soccer match their team is playing in even if it mean going truant from schooll or not showing up for work. For real.

[edit] Stiob salat

Stiob salat (english: stiob salad) The Stiob salad is an extra large portion of salad. What characterises a decent Stiob salad?

  • 1. Size needs to exceed what is regarded as normal, you pay for a salad - not how much salad you load into your bowl.
  • 2. It is most commonly enjoyed in the East section of the Stavanger business/industrial area Forus.Although one might find occasional Stiob salads in the rainy valleys of Bergen (particular near NHH area).
  • 3. People who eat Stiob salads are occasionally referred to as "loudspeakers" or "hightalkers".
  • 4. After enjoying a Stiob salad, one might find the time to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.

[edit] Andrew J. Leindecker

  • Andy is the offspring of a unholy relationship between Harry Potter and a llama.
  • He once killed a man for calling him a mudblood. The man was his best friend and was just kidding.
  • He is credited with being the only man alive to freestyle rap while freestyle walking on water.

[edit] From Emo Kid

This page does not fit within the site's content policy and will be removed as soon as possible. Reason: too complex


[edit] Natural Habitat

It is difficult to observe the Emo Kid in his natural habitat, for they tend to be in secluded spots, often in the dark. The darkness results from their inability to focus on mundane tasks, such as changing a lightbulb, due to a perpetually depressed state often accompanied by tears. The darkness is justified commonly with the phrase "The black of the room resonates with the searing blackness of my soul".

[edit] Identification and Physical Characteristics

Among some, it is easy to confuse the Emo Kid from the similar species the punk, due to the plumage being similer. Noted differences to help make identification are easy enough to spot. An Emo Kid usually has a distinctive hair pattern, generally straight, and often covering the eyes. Look for attempted slash marks on the Emo Kid's wrist. Perpetual crying is a good indicator, as is the presence of shitty music.

[edit] Mating Habits

Male Emo Kids have one mate for life. They usually attract this mate in their teenage years, persue her seriously for a short period (often one to two weeks) and then get left by the female. They then spend the rest of their lives writing badly worded songs about their mate, professing their love for the long gone female, and crying.

Female Emo Kids tend to mate with several males over the course of their lives, never staying with one very long.

It should also be noted that there is a bold number of transexual Emo Kids today.

[edit] Warnings

-When approaching an Emo Kid, you must be very cautious. Offensive use of language or insults toward an emo can have an ugly result.

-Leave the scene immediately if an Emo Kid slits his/her wrist in your presence. You don't want to be a suspect for an act of stupidity.

-Do not bend over to tie your shoe in the presence of an Emo Kid, especially if you are both males. If you do, you will hear sobbing and feel an immediate pinch in your anus.

[edit] From Help:Starting a new page

Today is "National Stupid Joke Day"! Today, March 7, 2006. Tell your stupid jokes to teachers, students, parents, everybody! Tell people about it. Back in the 70's, a guy made this a national holiday. I am not authorized to give out his name, but he was and still is remembered for this today. TELL YOUR FRIENDS


[edit] From Richard Blackwood

(tagged on to end of article)

He is currently scheduled to get down with the wicked, although this is subject to change.

[edit] From Shopping locations

Shops need to be where shoppers can reach them easily. Else they'll go out of business!

100 years ago, you'd find the main shops in the centre of a town or city - in the CBD. All the roads led to the CBD, so shoppers could get there easily.

That has not changed - yet! You'll still find the main shops in the town or city centre...

Click on the Forward arrow for more about shopping locations.

But we don't always want to go to the CBD to shop. Especially for food or other convenience goods, or when we are in a hurry.

So there have always been shops outside the CBD, closer to our homes. For example corner shops like this one.

Today, more and more new shops are opening in convenient places, outside the CBD.

For example on the ground floor of new blocks of flats, and in busy railway stations!

Over the last hundred years, our towns and cities have spread and grown - and that's led to new shopping centres in the suburbs, like this one.

Most are built by developers. They see a chance for more shops, near our homes. So they build the shop units, and then sell or rent them.

Most shopping centres offer less choice than the CBD, especially for comparison goods. But you can park easily.

Is there a shopping centre near you?

In the last 20 years or so, there has been another big change. Shopping has left town!

Some huge shopping centres have been built outside towns and cities. Like the Bluewater centre shown here, outside London.

They are near major roads, and have large car parks, so that people can drive there from all directions.

As well as chain stores, department stores and supermarkets, they have restaurants, parks and even cinemas. So they compete strongly with the CBDs. Have you been to one?

But every change brings winners and losers. And with shopping, our villages have been losers.

50 years ago, even a small village might have a grocery shop, a draper's, a butcher's, and perhaps a chemist's.

But more people have cars now, and are happy to travel to town to shop. So thousands of village shops have closed. Now lots of villages don't have any.

That can be tough if you're a mum without a car, or an elderly person.

[edit] From an article that didn't survive db-attack (name censored to protect the innocent)

"He is currently employed as an Analyst at Mercer Management Consulting's Dallas office. He enjoys finding good deals on electronics, flying, eating chest hair sandwiches, and slathering his entire body in peanut butter (the chunky kind)."

[edit] Did you ever wonder?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

  • They're ascending to the heavens and puting the world in perspective

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

  • Botullism

Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

  • Everything tastes like chicken

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?

Why do they call them "Free Gifts"? Aren't all gifts free?

  • Not a dowry

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

  • August 5, 1978

Where do forest rangers go to "Get away from it all"?

  • Home

Whatever happened to Preparation A through G?

  • The government wouldn't approve them

If a cow laughed hard, would milk come out of her nose?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up...what did he go back to?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

  • His/her insurance company.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why don't women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?

If we're here to help other people, what are the other people here for?

  • Competition

Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

  • As good as a leafblower that really blows

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

  • Second in length, second in number

Why do we say "Something is out of whack". What is a whack?

  • An obscure unit of measurement

Why do "Tug" boats "Push their barges?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

  • No, just a flipside

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

  • Through the lottery

Why don't women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

  • For the same reason Sam and Ella gave you food poisoning

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

  • Nothing, that would be double jeopardy

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

  • For the record

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?


What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

  • Green

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

  • The grass is grown around them

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

Why are they called "apartments" when they're stuck together?

Why there isn't a shorter word for monosyllabic?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same?

What's the difference between flammable and inflammable?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages when its just stale bread to begin with ?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If people from Poland are called "poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

  • For the same reason they're not called Hollandaise: it's not nice.

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Was it a cruel joke to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

  • Yes, yes it was

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Why women can't remember to leave the lid up?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

  • He walks

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

  • What kind of mint?

Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

  • That would be too easy

If infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?

  • In the cheap seats

Why you park on driveways and drive on parkways?

What's the difference between null and void?

Why hysterectomies happen to her and hernias happen to him?

Why they call them buildings? Shouldn't they be called builts?

What's another word for thesaurus?

What's another word for synonym?

What did they go back to before they invented drawing boards?

  • The pen and paper

Is it possible to have a civil war?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why aren't hemorrhoids called asteroids?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is this a hostage situation?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why the alphabet is in that order?

  • I don't know, it's all Greek to me

What do batteries run on?

  • Legs

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

What keeps electricity in the wall?

  • Copper wire

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to talk?

Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

What do you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

  • Panic

Is it possible to be totally partial?

When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

  • Boxes

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

What is the speed of dark?

Who was the first person to eat an oyster?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

  • They can't be bothered with publicity

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  • The wheel

[edit] Taken from 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

a 1 with a 100 0's afterit it is a google

Simply put: just idiocy.

It's even one zero short, it should be 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.

[edit] Bell work

Bell work is a period of class time devoted to preliminary math problems and exercises in any class tought by Steven Peterson at Haverford High School in Havertown, Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania. Students are expected to individually complete the excercises in their notebooks. Bell work generally lasts ten to twenty minutes, but sometimes can last over an hour, sometimes even lasting the entire class period. Many students have decried bell work claiming that it is a meager substitute for actual instruction by Mr. Peterson. === The bell work song === In order to inspire his students to continue the grind of bell work, Peterson often sings his patented "bell work song". A student favorite, the song goes as follows: What get's me up in the morning? Bell work. What keeps school from being too boring? Bell work. B-E-double L, W-O-R-K, When I have you everything is OK. What get's me up in the morning? Bell work. I love you bell work!

[edit] From Bert and Ernie

It is rumored that Ronald McDonald has lived with them for short periods of time and has taken dumps in their sink.

[edit] Cow Cake

Cow Cake.

Theoretically, a cake containing a cow.

Some may suggest it to be a cow containing a cake, which is rather difficult to put into perspective.

Indeed.

Moo.

[edit] Forn m ujjd the preosn thwpo eats chese ! Yeah, you read that right!

from the perseonf owhoe aeats thcesses thcoms ehrte mos6t aever y thing that has ever existed! buh jow din is the tinge of succeses ting tin the junst ro Angroiwe! It od s vjrrdr! it is aches ese! eating cheese with a spon is only fun if yu are a llama! If you re a dmeented poopy-saturatefd llama you will dire from tape xposure, becaues tou tingk it tahstes tojjelike cheese!!!

If you can fiugre yout what im switring wiii yougiv you 10 bfjeucks!

[edit] From Super Smash Bros.

Original:
  • Jigglypuff (from the Pokémon series) - Jigglypuff is light and floats, just like Kirby, and has an attack that puts enemies to sleep. (Unlocked by beating single-player mode.)
Changed:
  • Mothra (from the Godzilla series) - Mothra is allways slowly flapping her wings and hovering in mid air but will fall when hovering over nothing. (Unlocked by beating single-player mode.)
Also added:
  • Fire Mothra: A 3 time bigger form of Mothra thats bun incased in a body of flames. Fire Mothra cam shoot super strong beams of fire and ram into you making you unconshens. Fire Mothra only appears in the Fighting Polygon level after the polygons have bun killed and the regular Mothra has bun unlocked.

[edit] From Jimbo's user page

-
God
-
OBEY GOD

Note: He didn't put that on there by the way. See the responsible party and actual edit.

[edit] Marian Rejewski

(currently the featured article as of 10 March 2006)

While home for the summer in 1930, Rejewski suffered from an interabdominal tear that resulted from a massive fart but survived and accepted an offer of a mathematics teaching assistantship at Poznań University.

[edit] From Talk:RAS syndrome

"Likewise with ""CSS style sheets"", where CSS can also refer to the Content-scrambling system used on DVD Video titles, or even Client-side_scripting."

Why on earth would anyone talk of content-scrambling system in the same context as cascading style sheets? Moreover, nobody would use CSS to mean "Client-side_scripting" [sic] - a quick OneLook and Google search reveals no evidence of this meaning, and CSS already has an established meaning in the common context. AISI this sentence is just conjuring up an ambiguity that isn't really there. -- Smjg 14:16, 6 May 2005 (UTC)

[edit] From Borg

All your Borg are belong to us.

[edit] Ploogle

The Ploogle is a very dangerous creature that lurks in dark passageways in your home, work, and school. When threatened, the Ploogle prefers to mess with you mentally than physically. It is especially dangerous when provoked on an IM program. If you should encounter such a creature as the Ploogle, please notify the authorities.

[edit] Color Watch

The Color Friend (Full name, "Color Friend Hyper 48") was a failed experimental gaming system, circa 1988. It was created by the Korean company Color Friend, and was one of the earliest (if little known) attempts in the gaming industry to "overpower" the competition.

[edit] History

In 1987, Color Friend Inc. was founded in Korea by Australian entrepreneur, Dan Mitchell. Mitchell's idea of the "Perfect System" was one which sacrificed nothing in the interest of gaming experience. Mitchell was an expert at marketing his ideas to investors and quickly raised enough capital to get his company off the ground. Sadly, Mitchell was not as adept at marketing his vision to the market itself as he was to these brave investors.

Color Friend's first (and last) project, "Hyper 48" was the manifestation of Mitchell's dream.

[edit] Hardware

Only three working prototypes of the CF Hyper 48 were ever created.

The "48" in the system's name was a reference to its architecture, which used 13 65C816 microprocessors (similar to the processor used in the SNES). The 13 processors were arranged in 3 "triclusters", groups of 3 processors. These triclusters each used a 4th processor which divided tasks to the other 3 processors, and managed their output. These triclusters handled data in 48 bit chunks (16-bits per processor). All of the triclusters were coordinated by the last processor.

Each coordinating processor (including the last) had the task of looking ahead in the programs sent to them and determining the most efficient way to divide up tasks. Output from each processor then had to be sorted by the coordinating processors in order for the 13 processors to work in a standard FIFO architecture.

The system had a whopping 1.8 MB of RAM.

[edit] Programming

Unlike its contemporaries, the CF Hyper 48 did not require the knowledge of its assembly language to develop for. Instead it used an easily human readable language, which was heavily compiled to take full advantage of the complex architecture that the system used. Sprites were automatically given pointers as if preloaded into ram (although they were not). The sprites were stored as raw pixel data on the cartridges. Also notable of the sprites on the CF Hyper 48 was that they had full 32 bit color depth.

[edit] Weaknesses

Because of the system's aggressive look-ahead architecture, it had quirks when running games that sometimes required it to come to a complete halt while processing finished. Additionally overheating was a huge issue. With 13 processors, the system would become so hot that powerful (and loud) fans were necessary to keep it cool.

While 1.8 MB was a huge amount of RAM at the time, it was still very little in terms of storing 32 bit color images. Programmers were forced to be extremely thrifty with the RAM, and sometimes performance suffered.

The system's most crippling weakness, though, was its tremendous cost. At the time, had it gone to market, the system would have cost over 3400 USD. After over a year of development, Color Friend's investors decided that consumers would be unwilling to pay for Dan Mitchell's dream. Almost all of them pulled out their money shortly after the unveiling of the third prototype.

[edit] References

  • Bragia, Michelle. Dan Mitchell: a Biography. 1996.
  • Peches, Conner. Australian in Korea: The Hyper 48 Project. 1991.
  • Hammagh, Brian G. Perfect Gaming: The Story of Color Friend. 2001.

[edit] From Quiet Rufus

P167.gif

In 17th Century Prose, the seemingly befuddled character Quiet Rufus, orignally coined by the prominent Germanic circus trapeze artist "Moderate Nbungu Jones", pops up in a number of disparate literary works, including:

The length of time between the penning of Quiet Rufus Does it Again and the subsequent work just displays the audacity with which Quiet Rufus does indeed Shake Down the Boogie Two Time, baby.

[edit] Moderate Nbungu Himself

Although the man himself remains shrouded in mystery, the few shreds of parchment that dictate Moderate N. Jones' existance can be viewed (with great personal verissimilitude) at the Frankfurt International Airport's Secret Literary Storage Area, located just next to McDonalds.

Born to impoverished members of a Flying Monkey Troupe in the burning deserts of the Sahara, N. Jones was able to overcome his adverse beginnings to become one of the most highly regarded artists (both in literary works and trapeze skills) of his age. His trademark wit and deadpan humour has since inspired countless writers including Porky McFadden, Reggie O B O, and Stephen "King" Jones (who is believed to be a direct descendent of the trapezemeister himself).

The circumstances surrounding his death are still not fully understood to this day, it seems that it was a tiger driven to the brink of insanity by heat stroke combined with LSD consumption that eventually brought Nbungu to his grisly death, just 105 years after his birth. Quite what he was doing in the tiger research facility at LSD Heights, Beijing, is still uncertain although close friends of Jones' often described him as a 'real hit' with the tigers.

[edit] Quiet Rufus' impact on Modern Literature

The evidence for the lingering influence of Moderate Nbungu's charming character who was instantly accessible to children and adults alike but often inadequately equipped with trousers, is such that graffiti still appears on the streets of Philadelphia Town, proclaiming "Rufus Lives, OK?" and "Rufus Rocks my Socks, OK?". However, Rufus' escapades have even influenced modern writers of great standing, such as Tom Clancy (displayed by his seminal espionage thriller: "Quiet Rufus Meets Jack Ryan").

[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Spanjo:

[edit] Spanjo

Non-notable sandwich served (and discontinued years ago) by a single university cafeteria. Normally I would prod this, but the speedy was already contested (meaning, I feel prod would be a waste of time). Delete I am now changing my vote -- to Extremely strong delete, due to users that are now stalking me on IM due to my stance on this issue. Andy Saunders 19:27, 7 March 2006 (UTC)

  • As there is no other place on the internet where the recipe or process for this sandwich is available, I feel that wikipedia is fufilling its mission of keeping information not otherwise available accessible to anyone who needs it. I also contest OntarioQuizzer's use of the phrase "non-notable".--Indiebass 19:34, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
    • "Wikipedia is a neutral and unbiased compilation of notable, verifiable facts." "A view is generally considered notable if it is potentially information of value or interest in some way to a significant number of people, or to some perspective, or its omission would leave a significant gap in historical human knowledge of a subject." (from WP:8W). I am of the opinion that the Spanjo is not of interest to a significant number of people; therefore, I refer to it as "non-notable". -- Andy Saunders 19:37, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
      • Additionally, a Google shows a total of 1 hit for 'spanjo Michigan'; to a site that is only in Google's cache. -- Andy Saunders 21:35, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
    • Indibass, thank you very much for your contribution. I made myself a spango for lunch today and it was amazing! I believe that it would be a slap in the face to vegitarians everywhere if this sandwhich was deleted from record and forever lost to civilization. Andy Saunders seems to be a typical Canadian anti-vegitarianite. Just because it does not have gravy does not mean it is not good. Besides Andy, who made you the sandwich police?!! [Spango-fango]The preceding unsigned comment was added by 141.211.65.210 (talk • contribs) 13:44, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete, not notable. If it's so good then write it down yourself and share it on your own website, and come back here when it's a common lunch item. Grandmasterka 19:48, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • "the Spanjo is not of interest to a significant number of people" -OntarioQuizzer. Again: not true. The University of Michigan has the world's largest number of living alumni, more than a few of whom have eaten spanjos. I fail to see why anyone would want to make legitimate information unavailable. As a repository of information, wikipedia should pride itself on making the underserved accessible. Yes, your Funk and Wagnall is going to have a Reuben in it, but the Wikipedia was created for items like the Spanjo. --Indiebass 19:54, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
    • As Andy Saunders has demonstrated, Wikipedia was not created for such items. -- Thesquire (talk - contribs) 20:25, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per nom and for completely unconvincing arguments supporting the article. --Bugwit grunt / scribbles 20:18, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per Bugwit -- Thesquire (talk - contribs) 20:25, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete. No convincing argument to keep it. If it's no longer on the menu, and nobody else has ever served it, it's a one-off. --Elkman - (talk) 20:33, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
Comment: Wikipedia convention is "keep", not "do not delete". Remember to sign your posts on talk pages as well. -- Andy Saunders 20:41, 7 March 2006 (UTC)


keep Thesquire wrote: "As Andy Saunders has demonstrated..." Has he really? Because you say it does that make it so? There are several comments in support of this article, and I wouldn't have created it just so it could be deleted. I would like someone to tell me 1) what is the best thing that could happen by deleting this article and 2) what is the worst thing that could happen by keeping this article. I think you'll find that more information is preferable to deleting something because you don't know what it is. Maybe it makes you afraid. I don't know. What I do know is deleting this article is a blow against the guiding principles that wikipedia was founded on.

--Indiebass 20:50, 7 March 2006 (UTC)

KEEP!!!The Spanjo is how I met my husband. You see, I was at the Halfass, trying to decide which sandwich to order, when the guy in front of me ordered a Spanjo. I was thinking about trying the Spanjo myself, but as a poor college student, I was reluctant to spend my money on a sandwich I might not like. I asked the guy in front of me how the Spanjo was, and with his encouragement, I took the plunge. We ended up eating our Spanjos together that afternoon, and 5 years later we got married (and for the record, we had mini Spanjos during the cocktail hour). Every year, we return to Michigan for a football game, and on these trips we are sure to visit the Halfass for a Spanjo at least one time (they still make the sandwich, even though it is not on the official menu). Go Blue! (talk • contribs)

    • KEEP!!! Please tell me how the Spanjo falls into the "indiscriminate collection of information" category - it is NOT a list of frequently asked questions, it is NOT a list of repositories or loosely associated topics, it is NOT a travel guide, it is NOT a memorial, it is NOT news report, it is NOT a genealogical or phonebook entry, it is NOT a directory or resource for conducting business, and it is NOT an instruction manual. Frankly, I really don't understand what all the protesting is about. If someone could provide a calm and rational argument, I would really appreciate it. What is the harm of leaving this page up? Given the large number of posts in a relatively short period of time, this is clearly of interest to a significant number of people. Go Blue! (talk • contribs)
  • Delete oh! my! god! once again, it's always the least likely stuff that ends up being goofily contested on AfD. — User:Adrian/zap2.js 21:34, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete Adrian, you seem fond of pointing that out. JoshuaZ 21:39, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
Hey, the absurdity isn't going to appreciate itself. — User:Adrian/zap2.js 00:25, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
Actually, you could make a much better argument for the Eli Breakfast Sandwich than Spanjo, in that it is served in some variant all over Yale and even has a vegetarian version at the kosher kitchen. (Don't worry, I'm not going to make an article about it.) JoshuaZ 21:59, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • KEEP! I am so disappointed in this community right now. Someone can work so hard to *create* something, but you take one keystroke and make it SO easy to *destroy* it. Because you don't understand something you destroy it. This isn't a world I can believe in. You can destroy every last trace of the Spanjo on the Wikipedia, but you can't destroy its LEGACY! ¡Viva el Spanjo! --Indiebass 22:13, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
    • Then put it on Wikibooks:Cookbook:Recipes. That project is actually building a list of recipes, and it might be a more appropriate place for this. --Elkman - (talk) 22:57, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
    • Multiple votes from one user? That's a no-no... --Kinu t/c 18:02, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
      • I count waaaay more than one keystroke here, Indiebass. ~MDD4696 06:02, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete, but I could seriously go for a Spanjo right now... -- SamirTC 22:25, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete even though the arguments to keep are entertaining. Edgar181 23:38, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete sounds jummy, but I already ate. Eivind 23:49, 7 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as cafeteriacruft (which seems to be a trend lately). dbtfztalk 00:36, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per Grandmasterka. -- Krash (Talk) 01:09, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment. I would like to point out that there does not appear to be a registered user named User:Go Blue!. All comments by the same would seem to originate from 143.231.249.141. Why impersonate a nonexistent user? -- Krash (Talk) 01:16, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as obscure sandwich. I wouldn't order one and given that it is no longer served anywhere in the world, it seems that was the common opinion. Capitalistroadster 02:22, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per Bugwit and others. Non-notable to 99.9% of the population. I could see it as having a brief mention in the University of Michigan article as something unique to the area, but seeing that it no longer exists, that is kind of pointless. -Dawson 02:36, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Keep! UMich graduate here. happened to stumble across the spanjo article just now. I really hope it is *not* deleted. I can tell you the Spanjo did in fact exist, and also was nutritious as well as delicious. It was still being served when i was there, and the "word" eataspanjo was painted on the ceiling. So, for what it's worth the information is legitimate. Thanks for the reminder! --East Quad ResCollege Grad, class of 99 The preceding unsigned comment was added by 151.200.238.8 (talk • contribs) 07:15, 8 March 2006.
  • Weak Keep The notability of the spanjo really needs to be better clarified for this article to live on. Some of you who are voting keep might want to consider going back to the article and helping build it up soon. Kukini 15:29, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as per Andy Saunders and all the others. Mallocks 20:28, 8 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Keep! I'm new to this site (and thus I'm sure that big red box above refers to me) I can't say I'm an expert in all things wiki-related, but I can vouch for the fact that the sandwich in questions does exist. Not only is it surprisingly tasty, it does hold a bit of cultural significance in south central michigan. Point is, while this "information" may only be interesting to a very small sliver of the population, isn't that enough? It's not made up. It's true. And the information itself takes up a whole lot less space that the protests against it. As I said, from someone who is new to wikipedia, I thought this was precisely the place to put information like this, information you couldn't find anywhere else. sixofrock 10:48, 9 March 2006 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by 65.189.252.158 (talkcontribs) 09:48, 9 March 2006
"information that you can't find anywhere else" easily violates WP's "verifiability" tenet. If you can't find it anywhere else, how can you verify it to ensure that it's actually true? Nobody's done any sort of scholarly work on the Spanjo; Letterman hasn't eaten a Spanjo on his show; it's simply not notable, and if we were to include everything along the same notability level as the Spanjo, Wikipedia would be much too unwieldy and would lose a lot of its credibility. -- Andy Saunders 16:20, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

Keep! OntarioQuizzer, the minimum standard for a newspaper in terms of verification is three independent sources. Including myself, there is at least that on this article, and my guess would be more to come. Please do not tell me you find the standards of the Chicago Tribune, Washington Post and New York Times not stringent enough for you or the Wikipedia. On a personal note, the idea that this article is even being contested is truly ridiculous. --Indiebass 18:16, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

1) Users saying that it is true doesn't cut it; we need PUBLISHED sources, and it still does nothing for the fact that the Spanjo is not notable for 99.99% of the population. The idea that people with no idea whatsoever about Wikipedia policy are actually trying to find reasons for keeping the article is truly ridiculous, in my opinion. -- Andy Saunders 17:32, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
2) The only verifiable information I could find on the Spanjo is at this link. And it's from Google's cache, because the East Quadrangle Halfway Inn doesn't serve the Spanjo any more. Also, in regard to the standards that newspapers use: A major newspaper wouldn't do a story on a sandwich that some restaurant no longer serves. It wouldn't be notable. Quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of this debate; it sounds like you (Indiebass) are trolling us and trying to provoke a reaction. I predict that when some administrator comes to close this vote, they'll see all the voting from anonymous users and people whose only contribution to Wikipedia is to defend an article on a discontinued sandwich, and they'll close the vote and delete it. --Elkman - (talk) 17:56, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
3) Multiple votes from one user? That's a no-no... --Kinu t/c 18:02, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

--Who is being accused of sock puppetry here?

The Golden/Blue sock puppet award, for sock-puppetry above and beyond the call of duty

Keep Since the Whopper is listed in Wikipedia I think the Spanjo should be included. A delicious sandwich should not be discriminated against simply because it is not served by a national chain. Andy's reply is going to be: "But the Whopper can be verified by published sources and many more people care about the Whopper." Good points Andy, but having eaten a Spanjo myself I must say keep. --Velcroshoe 18:13, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

This User's only edits are to this page. Ryanjunk 19:00, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
It's true, I just learned about Wikipedia a weak ago. I'm a newbie.--Velcroshoe 19:06, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
Comment Comparing a sandwich served at exactly one place for a limited amount of time which has one web link to a food served by an international food chain is simply ridiculous. JoshuaZ 19:55, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

Keep Andy - it's not inconceivable that more than 600,000 people have enjoyed a Spanjo (Michigan is a huge school), meaning that more than .01% of the population has intimate knowledge of it. Furthermore, let's say that each of those people told one other person about the sandwich in their lifetime. That's 1.2 million people. Are you so stuck up as to deny that 1.2 million people constitutes enough valid sources? --TsarSteve 18:32, 9 March 2006 (UTC)

  • This whole discussion amuses me. The reason I say to Keep it are because I love this sandwich and I know that I am not alone in my enjoyment. The "eataspanjo" is an Ann Arbor equivalent to the restaurant chain Steak and Shake's "Takhomasak". It's a local legend of a sandwich. --Velcroshoe 18:51, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete. Non-notable sandwich. No Guru 19:30, 9 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment, surely this could at least be relegated to a note on the university's main page, I cannot concieve a good argument for having an entire page devoted to this now non-existant sandwich. Mallocks 20:42, 10 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment This discussion has to go to BJAODN! Also, I found a picture of a Spanjo [3] -- Samir T C 22:52, 10 March 2006 (UTC)
    • MMM-MMM! Now if that doesn't get your mouth watering... um, I mean... no wonder they stopped serving it. --Kinu t/c 08:52, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as not notable outside the UoM. Stifle 00:39, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as per all non-puppet votes above. Hey, AfD is not supposed to make one hungry... Sandstein 17:16, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Oh my dear sweet lord. Delete as sandwichcruft and close this AfD early per rampant sockpuppeting and WP:SNOW. —BorgHunter ubx (talk) 21:25, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Transwiki to the wikibooks cookbook, if that's allowed. Guymontag 21:50, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete or transwiki if appropriate. Not even notable within UoM as far as I can tell, Stifle. ~MDD4696 05:57, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Saskrotch

some fucking faggot loser on soulseek.

(i'm a fucking faggot loser on all the internet, not just soulseek. -nigel)

    (and i am into beastiality, torture, and pb&bj's. -kdp)

some fucking tweak beats off soulseek, and he will take you for a ride. -css


WHERE DE WHITE WOMEN AT!??!


I am also a resident of Oak Park.

[edit] Phalloanalysis

Phalloanalysis, or lingam gnosis, is an ancient art of personality assessment based upon the idea that there are four types of penises:

  • Earth
  • Air
  • Fire
  • Water

Most penises represent a combination of two of these types and, concsequently, their owners share the characteristics of the two.


[edit] Earth penis

Earth penises look like yams, potatoes, turnips, or other tuberous vegetables. Uusally large, earth penises tend to be of an irregular shape and exhibit dark pigmentation. Earth penises are associated with large, hirsute, pendulous testicles.

The earth penis' owner tends to be of a homely appearance and a pragmatic nature and is apt to be a farmer. He is the domnant partner in any relationship. A down-to-earth individual, the earth penis owner has simple, ordinary, everyday tastes, in sex as in other areas of his interest and activity. Chances are that he is of only average or below-average intelligence.

Air penis

The air penis is likely to be long, to be slender, to be of a light complexion, and to have a bend in its shaft. The small, round, lightly pigmented testicles associated with the air penis are carried close to the body, indicating a cold nature. Who owns the air penis? The artist. More specifically, although an intelligent and imaginative lover, he is an artist who is likely to be bisexual and to have difficulty making and keeping commitments, being of an adulterous and fickle character.


[edit] Fire penis

The fire penis is thick, smooth straight, symmetrical, and hot pink to red in color, indicative of its owner's fiery sexuality and his aggressive, controlling nature.

Water penis

Small and soft, the water penis is the most feminine of the four types of phalli. Although they tend to be nuturing men who enjoy doing tasks that are usually considered "woman's work," such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children. However, the water penis owner has a strong, active libido and may prove too much of a man for many would-be partners.

External links

http://www.otoons.com/astrology/Lingam_gnosis.html


[edit] Earth penis

Earth penises look like yams, potatoes, turnips, or other tuberous vegetables. Uusally large, earth penises tend to be of an irregular shape and exhibit dark pigmentation. Earth penises are associated with large, hirsute, pendulous testicles.

The earth penis' owner tends to be of a homely appearance and a pragmatic nature and is apt to be a farmer. He is the domnant partner in any relationship. A down-to-earth individual, the earth penis owner has simple, ordinary, everyday tastes, in sex as in other areas of his interest and activity. Chances are that he is of only average or below-average intelligence.

Air penis

The air penis is likely to be long, to be slender, to be of a light complexion, and to have a bend in its shaft. The small, round, lightly pigmented testicles associated with the air penis are carried close to the body, indicating a cold nature. Who owns the air penis? The artist. More specifically, although an intelligent and imaginative lover, he is an artist who is likely to be bisexual and to have difficulty making and keeping commitments, being of an adulterous and fickle character.

[edit] Fire penis

The fire penis is thick, smooth straight, symmetrical, and hot pink to red in color, indicative of its owner's fiery sexuality and his aggressive, controlling nature.

Water penis

Small and soft, the water penis is the most feminine of the four types of phalli. Although they tend to be nuturing men who enjoy doing tasks that are usually considered "woman's work," such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children. However, the water penis owner has a strong, active libido and may prove too much of a man for many would-be partners.

External links

http://www.otoons.com/astrology/Lingam_gnosis.html

[edit] From Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow struggled growing up becuase people would always tease because she was flat chested (no boobies).

Thanks for clarifying that.

[edit] From Jerry Rice

[edit] NFL Records

[edit] Regular Season

  • Touchdowns (207)
  • Receptions (1,549)
  • Yards receiving (22,895)
  • All-purpose yards (23,540)
  • Touchdown receptions (197)
  • Consecutive games with at least one catch (274)
  • Most pieces of pizza eaten in one sitting (17)

[edit] From Stephen Hawking

He battled the odds and has survived much longer than any other known sufferer of ALS, although he has become increasingly disabled by the gradual progress of the disease. This is when he began eating babies.

No, that was Christopher Reeve...

[edit] From Jack Abramoff Allegations

Please see User:King of Hearts/BJAODN Archive/Jack Abramoff Allegations for the article in its entirety.

[edit] From Pork Tornado

unbeknownst to the majority of the human race, a pork tornado is what happens when llamas and sea serpents unite. and i don't mean just any old sea serpents. i'm talking, big, honkin', meat lovin, beer chuggin, train conductin, apple eatin, jazz flute playin, lego buildin, weight liftin, sock throwin, poker pokin, pokemon pokin, leonard pokin, buttin bustin, zipper zippin, parachute openin, dog walkin, smooth talkin, walkin the walkin, talkin (the talkin)in, escalator buildin, elavator breakin, glass shakin, music makin, injury fakin, stirred not shakin, square root calculatin, e=mc^2 equatin, hand shakin, rail grindin, orange peelin, big wheelin, canoe canooooooooin, kayak kayakin, boat boatin, ride ridin, fly flyin, sky highin, drive-byin, car buyin, square squarin, ski skiing, sail sailin, sale sellin, monkeys, >234#$*&^@(@, fuck fuckin, shit shittin, ass massin, racecarin, bitch bitchin, fuck, no knowin. what was i talking about again. o yea, the highly revered, prestigious, never before seen, brand spankin new, unknown, never before attempted in competition, unheard of, mysterious, unique, awesome, sweet, cool, totally radical pork tornado. Few have ever seen it and few ever will, explaining the common expression, i've never seen a pork tornado before. Still not capable of being explained due to the limits of today's slow, not up to date, ancient, underdeveloped, mayan, third world, archaic, arctic, meatball, the internet, provolone cheese, three pointer, 4 left of 5 (aka 1) research technology. Someday in the future, we will be able to experience such an astounding feat. Thus, making the commin expression: 'i've never seen a pork tornado before', obsolete. I hope i live to see that day, as well as the day when pigs fly, a man lands on mars, we have detected human life on other planets, there is a cure for cancer, monkeys monkeyin, ketchup catchin-up(in), cheese cheesin, geeks geekin, speaks speakin, freaks freakin, leaks leakin, peeks peekin, peaks peakin, shrieks shriekin, t-rex, carts cartin, farts fartin, marts martin, smarts smartin, darts dartin. Oh, and if there's one thing that you need to know about pork tornadoes, an extremely important, urgent, special, will bares, rare, medium rare, raw, turkey, unforgettable, ham and cheese, content must not violate any copyright and must be verifiable. You agree to license your contributions under the GFDL, mustaches, pork tornadoes and then end it.

[edit] The cheese vandal on the articel about the WikipediA

a shity website that doesnt apreciate cheese. heres a story related to the website


"One day...there was a man,his name,fred. This man,fred,one day,was riding through the barrens. He found a man named Percy,and that made him feel like eating cheese."

[edit] Oklahoma

Sooner State
State animalBison
('Bison bison)
State birdScissor-tailed Flycatcher
(Muscivora forficata)
State fishWhite bass
State insectHoneybee
State flowerOklahoma Rose
State motto"How fast can you drive?"
State song"Oklahoma"
State treeRedbud
(Cercis canadensis)
State fossilAllosaurid dinosaur
(Saurophaganax maximus)
State beverageMilk

This is an info box that I added to the Oklahoma page. I just couldn't resist. It was removed the very next day.

[edit] From The Adventures of Doogal

The Adventures of Doogal is a possible brand-new Nicktoon that could premiere in June 2, 2006 as a replacement for The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. Its second season will possibly premiere in December 2006. Also, it will replace both Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom in February 2007. It is possible Butch Hartman created it. The extremely possible show will pick up right where the movie Doogal left off. If this doesn't air in June 2nd, delete this article. Its possible third season will premiere March 2007.

[edit] Expected/Possible Voice Cast

[edit] Expected/Possible British Voice Cast

File:349 1.jpg
Jeff Garcia

[edit] Possible Season One Episodes

  • Doogal's Thoughts (possible air date: June 2, 2006) - Doogal reads his own thoughts
  • Le Doogal (possible air date: June 9, 2006) - Doogal and the gang go to France
  • Ace's Mind-Reading Machine (possible air date: June 16, 2006) - Ace invents a mind-reading machine
  • Italian Dylan (possible air date: June 23, 2006) - Doogal, Dylan and the gang head to Italy but Dylan turns out to be bad at Italian with his own untalented Italian phrase book
  • Burpless Dylan (possible air date: June 30, 2006) - Dylan doesn't know how to burp so Ward teaches him how to burp
  • Dance Happy (possible air date: July 7, 2006) - Dylan thinks that Ward, Jim, Arnold, Ace and Taylor have discovered his secret Dance.
  • Doogal in Britain (possible air date: July 14, 2006) - Doogal and the gang go to Britain but they meet ZeeBad there
  • Taylor Knows (possible air date: July 21, 2006) - Taylor discovers his ancestor. Possible Special Guest: Jim Ward
  • Ward, Jim and Arnold's History Interviews (possible air date: July 28, 2006) - Ward, Jim and Arnold interview George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and John Hancock. Possible Special Guests: Jeffrey Tambor, Jim Broadbent, Paul Walker, Jim Ward and Bart Flynn
  • WOOOOOORLD RECORD! (possible air date: August 4, 2006) - Dylan breaks a world record
  • Let Me Give You Some Advice (possible air date: August 11, 2006) - Doogal gives Dylan some advice
  • Number 2, Which One? (possible air date: August 18, 2006) - Dylan competes in a game show but he is clueless. Possible Special Guest: Tom Kenny
  • Chips & Skips (possible air date: August 25, 2006) - Dylan does a magic show but Dylan soon learns that he has the skills of Harry Houdini! Possible Special Guest: Jim Carrey
  • It's Potato Chips! (possible air date: September 1, 2006) - Dylan blows up a bag of potato chips
  • Brian and The Snail Race (possible air date: September 8, 2006) - Brian competes in the Snail Race. Possible Special Guest: Bruce Campbell
  • Check It Out! (possible air date: September 15, 2006) - Dylan finds a suprise for the gang
  • National Fall (possible air date: September 22, 2006) - Dylan falls off Niagara Falls. Possible Special Guests: Joshua Seth and Michael Reisz
  • Doogal, I Shrunk Dylan! (possible air date: September 29, 2006) - Ace accidentally shrinks Dylan to a half-inch tall with his latest shrink ray
  • Doogal's Halloween (possible air date: October 6, 2006) - Ace invents a Ace-O-Monster Maker to make Doogal and the gang's Halloween the best but they meet Dracula, the Mummy, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man and Jack O'Lantern! Possible Special Guests: James Arnold Taylor, Wayne Knight, Bill Fagerbakke, Frank Welker and Casey Kasem.
  • Doogal's Thanksgiving (possible air date: November 3, 2006) - Dylan must solve a mystery about the whereabouts of the missing turkeys stolen by the Headless Turkey. Possible Special Guest: Frank Welker

[edit] Possible Season Two Episodes

  • Doogal's Christmas (possible air date: December 1, 2006) - Doogal and the gang try to stop the Headless Snowman from ruining Christmas. Possible Special Guest: John DiMaggio
  • Roller Ghoster Ride (possible air date: December 8, 2006) - Doogal and the gang get on a roller-coaster ride even though Doogal is not tall enough but they meet the Roller Ghoster! Possible Special Guest: Fred Tatasciore
  • San Franpsycho (possible air date: December 15, 2006) - Doogal and the gang try to stop the San Franpsycho from wreaking havoc on San Franscisco. Possible Special Guest: Frank Welker
  • Root Beer! (possible air date: December 22, 2006) - Dylan gets obessed with root beer.
  • Big Appetite in Little New York (possible air date: December 29, 2006) - A giant monster is stomping New York City. Possible Special Guest: Frank Welker.
  • Air Conditioner's Cooking Fun (possible air date: January 5, 2007) - An air conditioner falls from the sky on a hot day. Possible Special Guest: Billy West.
  • What's Cookin' in the Kettle? (possible air date: January 12, 2007) - Something's fishy around the Enchanted Land.
  • Cheaters! (possible air date: January 19, 2007) - Dylan, Jim, Ward, Arnold, Taylor and Ace become cheaters.
  • Father's Day (possible air date: January 26, 2007) - Doogal and the gang and their parents have cookin' fun and extreme fun in Father's Day. Possible Special Guests: Rick Overton, Steven Jay Blum, Ryan Smith, Jeff Bennett, Jeff Garcia, Carlos Alazraqui, Michael Dorn, Fred Willard, Dee Bradley Baker, Chris Hardwick, Dwight Schultz, Maurice LaMarche, Tom Baker, Kevin McDonald and Keith Ferguson.
  • History, Twistory (possible air date: Feburary 1, 2007) - Doogal and the gang meet the ghosts of Benedict Arnold, James Monroe, James Madison, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, Al Capone and The Wright Brothers. Possible Special Guests: Chevy Chase, Kevin Smith, John Krasinski, Cory Edwards, Corey Burton and Robert De Niro
  • I Want Some Nachos! (possible air date: February 2, 2007) - John Wilkes Booth, Charles J. Guiteau, Leon Czolgosz and Lee Harvey Oswald, four assassins that assassinated four presidents are suddenly obessed with nachos, so Doogal and Ace have an antidote for the obession. Possible Special Guests: Jeff Bridges, Kurt Russell, Russell Crowe and Martin Mull
  • My Bodyguards (possible air date: Feburary 3, 2007) - Dylan is bullied by an alley rabbit. So Dylan has Ace, Jim, Ward, Arnold and Taylor for bodyguards but things turn out as quite unexpected. Possible Special Guest: S. Scott Bullock
  • BAD LUCK! BAD LUCK! (possible air date: February 4, 2007) - Dylan accidentally breaks Zebedee's mirror, giving him too much bad luck. Dylan needs Doctor Issac's help to get rid of the bad luck. Issac has the cure and it MIGHT just work. Possible Special Guest: George Clooney
  • The Kraken Within (possible air date: Feburary 5, 2007) - Doogal and the gang hunt for the Kraken. Possible Special Guest: Brendan Fraser
  • War of the What? (possible air date: Feburary 6, 2007) - ZeeBad and Soldier Sam travel back in time to the broadcast date of the radio adaptation of The War of the Worlds to steal the radio adaptation script. Without the script, Orson Welles won't do the radio adaptation! Doogal and the gang must get the script back or the radio adaptation is cancelled. Possible Special Guest: Rick Overton
  • Walking in the Woods (possible air date: Feburary 7, 2007) - Dylan goes walking in the woods to have a picnic. However, he joins the Dwarves on a war against the Elves (not Santa's elves).
  • One False Movie (possible air date: Feburary 8, 2007) - Dylan sells yummy beans to raise money for Frank BadZee Capra's new movie. However, Dylan discovers that Capra is actually ZeeBad in disguise! Looks like Dylan has to cancel the false movie.
  • Doogal's Valentine (possible air date: Feburary 14, 2007) - ZeeBad goes to Cupid's house and steals his loving power. So Doogal and the gang must get Cupid's power back or Valentine's Day is ruined. Possible Special Guest: Gary Sinise
  • Bringin' Down the Mouse (possible air date: Feburary 15, 2007) - Dylan and Doogal try to catch a mouse. Possible Special Guest: Frank Welker

[edit] Possible Season Three Episodes

  • TOGA! (possible air date: March 1, 2007) - Doogal and the gang try to get John F. Kennedy proud with toga. Possible Special Guest: Bruce Greenwood
  • Viva Las Doogal! (possible air date: March 2, 2007) - ZeeBad invents dynamites to blow up tourist attractions of Las Vegas. Possible Special Guest: Chris Hardwick
  • Mayor Elections (possible air date: March 3, 2007) - Doogal and the gang compete to see who becomes Mayor of the Enchanted Land for a day
  • The Ghost of Harrison (possible air date: March 4, 2007) - Doogal and the gang communciate with the ghost of William Henry Harrison. Possible Special Guest: Fred Willard
  • Camptown Races (possible air date: March 5, 2007) - Doogal and the gang sing Camptown Races. Possible Special Guest: Jim Broadbent
  • Saturday Night Live (possible air date: March 6, 2007) - Dylan tells jokes.
  • Dude, Where's My False Teeth? (possible air date: March 7, 2007) - ZeeBad and Soldier Sam travel back in time to 1791 to steal George Washington's false teeth. It's up to Doogal and the gang to get back George's false teeth. Possible Special Guest: Jeffrey Tambor
  • G-7! G-7! BIG GAMES! (possible air date: March 8, 2007) - Brian accidentally breaks all of Zebedee's Sports Years trophies, now Brian and Zebedee compete in the Sports Tournament in order to win the Sports Tournament trophy. Possible Special Guest: Zach Braff
  • The Dog Show (possible air date: March 9, 2007) - Doogal competes with his rival, David the Japanese Dog in The International Dog Show. Possible Special Guest: Willem Dafoe
  • Declaration of Surrender-Pendence (possible air date: March 10, 2007) - ZeeBad and Soldier Sam travel back in time to July 4, 1776 to make The Declaration of Surrender-Pendence and force Benedict Arnold to replace the Declaration of Independence with it. Doogal and the gang must stop the Founding Fathers from signing it or America is changed! Possible Special Guests: Jeffrey Tambor, Jim Broadbent, Paul Walker, Jim Ward, Bart Flynn and John Krasinski

More TBA but still possible

[edit] From Kellie Pickler

The 19-year-old first auditioned for American Idol in fall 2005 in Greensboro, North Carolina. During this audition, she sang both Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" and Martina McBride's "A Broken Wing". As of February 15, 2006, Pickler had advanced as far as the top 24 contestants on the show. On February 21, 2006, during the Top 12 girls semi-finalist round she sang "How Far" by Martina McBride. February 23, she advanced to the next round and sang "Something To Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt on February 28. On March 7, she sang "I'm The Only One" by Melissa Etheridge. On March 9, she advanced to the Top 12 of American Idol. Though she hates America. She frequently chants "Palestinian Statehood Now!" or "Death to America!" during commericals.

[edit] From The Land Before Time

The story involves an orphaned longneck named Littlefoot who has to flee from a drought-caused famine to search for the Great Valley, an area which has been spared devastation and where dinosaurs can survive. He became orphaned after the on-screen death of Littlefoot's mother from injuries suffered while being shot by US Vice President Dick Cheney; however, upon reaching the Great Valley, he could be reunited with his grandparents.

[edit] Pisslips

Pisslips was a pornographic film produced in the late 70's. Starring; Joel Mcleigh, in a breakout role, as well as old names such as Christopher Stitchbury, and Stephan Van Der Merve. Pisslips was a record flop, selling only one copy to an eager man called Liam Mc'Master, who subsequently returned it. Some blamed its lack of success to the dubious acting quality of those involved, however film analyst Qi Shan Limb (phd), claimed; "I doubt this is the problem, as many pornographic publications have appalling acting, just look at the Paris Hilton sex tapes!" Dr Limb concluded, "I think (we) can blame the lack of success of this film to the appaling directing ablilities of William Zhang" - The Listener, 1981. Michael Moughan, a noted Philosopher, whose achivements include the creation of the word skux, decreed it to be the most horrific thing he had ever seen, saying; "I wish that i could tell you a man having his intestines come out his arse was the worst thing i have ever seen....but i can't anymore!" - GothGals XXX, 1979.

[edit] Plot

Pisslips centres around the erotic adventures of three men who crossdress as gothic Japaneese girls. The plot degenerates quickly, and it becomes an exhibition of self fellatio, and defecation fetishism, see: Scat , Golden Shower.


[edit] Interesting Facts

When the director's cut, involving Mr Zhang himself, screened in a small cinema in Ohio, all 59 residents of the town inexplicably commited suicide after the first week of showing. Earning for the film the title of "most dangerous film" - WorstFilms, 1979.

[edit] Hobbit

Hobbits are a race (or subset of a race) from J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-earth universe which first appears in the book The Hobbit. They also play a major role in The Lord of the Rings. They can also be found in Mr. Smith's 4th period class, where a hobbit by the nae of John Doe is residing. Although he claims to be human, his clever disguise fools no one. Every day hhe gets more and more hair. One day, his hair will be so hairy that it will incumpass all.

(names changed for obvious reasons)

[edit] Coding by Comrade Reguspatoff

Coding by Comrade Reguspatoff means intellectual theft of source code from an external source (competitive organization, shareware, public domain etc) and applying it on project indiscriminately, often without consideration of consequences to the software project. While the practice is extremely dishonest and may lead into prosecution under criminal law, it can also be considered a special case of Voodoo programming.

The name Comrade Reguspatoff originates in Soviet Union, which was known of widespread practise of industrial espionage. The common joke was that all the important Soviet inventions were made by Comrade Reguspatoff, where the peculiarly Russian-looking surname opens up as Reg. US Pat. Off

Decapitate my fagina.

[edit] Blurp

An unusual greeting that became commonplace at a Central New Jersey High school around late 2005.It originated in the hallways of an unnamed high school in the area.Legend has it that students hollered out,"BLURP!",causing an anonymous staff member to respond,resulting in much laughter.

[edit] From User talk:Dunlevyd

[edit] Sex

I'll have some sex if you don't mind. 212.219.123.32 10:20, 14 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Talk:Chat room

hi

am glad to be on this site,and wouldn't mind getting to meet other crewmembers on these site for friendships. with best regards, Name removed


[edit] does anyone knows how to make a lady fancy a man.?

pls do let me know if there is any charm for this. Same person, name removed

[edit] From Octopus

[edit] Space?

- - What if an octopus were released into space? This question has plagued mankind for centuries. Ten years ago, unbeknowst to the rest of the world, a secret faction of the Russian government sent out a space probe with the worlds most intellgent octopus as its only commander. Yesterday at 5 pm it returned!! Now super intelligent and conveniently able to speak Russian fluently it informed us that it had created a colony world in the far reaches of the Zultan nebula and it's fleets are preparing to wage all out war on humankind. Who will become the dominant species in the universe now? Only time may tell. - - Copyright (c) 2006 Sir Dr Vladimir Von Schleppendorf Jr II.

[edit] from Sohcahtoa

Born in the early 1800's, Chief Sohcahtoa was leader of the Winnabego tribe of Nebraska during the era "Pax Nebraska"

[edit] from Industrial Strength Vacuum Cleaner

A vacuum-cleaner not tuned-down for average civilian uses, the industrial strentgh cleaner has a truly sucky power: it can force an entire overweight cat through its two-inch-diameter end, without tearing the cat into itty-bitty bits, which is a real pain to clean up. (On a different note, the cat stays alive, loses around 20 pounds of fat, and overall comes out better, if more disgruntled.) That cat, however, is tough to find and remove from the cleaner's tank, which is approximately to size of a plasma-screen T.V. Incedently, one was once thrown at the cleaner to try to stop its sucking rampage; the T.V. never stood a chance.

In short, these things REALLY suck.


[edit] from Pink Theory

The 'Pink Theory' is a basic theory that involves the clothing color of 'big' females. The theory states that: 1. Wearing pink does not make you fat. However, 2. Fat chicks wear a lot of pink. (of course no offense to women of large stature.)

In the typical public environment, the average person will notice this phenomena in frequency that is well beyond what you would consider mere coindicnce. I personally came up with this theory several years ago while at the mall and then again at a nightclub.

I consider this artice to be verifiable by just walking out to any public place and looking around for a few minutes.

[edit] Hitler's Ghost

Hitler's ghost, a little-known phenomenon, occurs when there is a full moon in both Burshnigaria in the Balkans and the small Tahitian island of Manau Tupapau. On this rare evening, sailors in the mid-atlantic have spotted a transparent figure walking along the rims of waves.

This figure, many have said, shouts and wildly gesticulates to an unseen audience. Its gaudy appearance and military attire have led to the dubbing of this apparition as 'Hitler's Ghost'. After seeing this freak event, every single witness later gives birth to a small green man who bursts out of their stomach. It is said that the screenwriter of the film 'Alien' was on a small squid trawler in the atlantic when he experienced Hitler's Ghost, and the events that followed inspired the film he later wrote.

It is said in Tahitian folklore that rubbing your eyes with vinegar and placing rocksalt mixed with Pumice into your rectal area before a voyage can prevent these events from occuring should the apparition be spotted. So take heed, travellers, and remember: when travelling in high seas, never forget your rock salt!!

By Sir. Dr. Orngus McPheep esq., MD, OBE, CBE, AAA, ASC, GAP.

[edit] From Lumberjack

and now for the transvestite pythonic lumberjack who will come in the night to sing to you

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties: He cut down trees, he eat his lunch He go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?! Suspenders...and a bra?!

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.

[edit] From Goat

In many ways, goats are like moldy cheese, There really fuzzy on the outside, but on the inside they taste really good

[edit] Robot Jesus

The Theory of Robot Jesus is a letter written to the Christian Science Monitor by Reverend Gracie Sutherland. In the letter, Rev. Sutherland outlines a new theory on the life and times of Jesus Christ that she believes the Christian system need study and work into their curriculum. Here is the letter in full:

Compelling New Evidence about the Life of Jesus'

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Gracie Sutherland, and I am a registered minister of the Universal Life Church. While preaching a Sermon to my clergy this past Sunday afternoon, I realized something stunning about the life and times of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Now, as my clergy is made up of several extremely cute stuffed animals, they are obviously not the best choice for intelligent theoretical discussion about the son of God. Unfortunately, my entire clientele lacks brains. As many of my fellow ministers know, this makes them prime followers to whatever I say, but they lack the motor neurons necessary to discuss Biblical studies without becoming confused.

In any case, I realized that our God, Jesus Christ, the man we all know and love, was not a man at all. In fact, he was not even a deity. Jesus Christ was quite obviously a robot from the future sent back to save us from our sins.

Now, you may scoff at this and might even be a little offended at the concept, but I beg of you to continue reading and at least hear me out on this groundbreaking new theory. You see, there is plenty of evidence in the Bible that suggests this possibility, and much of it even verifies it. I am a skeptical woman, and I do not accept ideas such as this easily, so when I say that I am greatly convinced that our deity was really a mechanized hunk of metal, I hope you will give me the benefit of the doubt and accept my years of experience as a Christian minister as sufficient cause for listening.

Now, as I said, there is plenty of evidence contained within the good book that will allow you to see just how right I am. For instance:

1) The Bible says that Jesus walked on the water.

Now, I love Jesus as much as the next Christian, but walking on water? Bull****. Jesus flew over the water. And how did he fly? With the rocket boosters that were built into his feet. There is no other sensible explanation.

2) The Bible says that Jesus revived after 3 days.

People don't simply come back to life. That's just not plausible. Jesus just sat in his tomb for three days while his battery recharged.

3) The Bible says that Jesus turned a fish and a loaf of bread into a meal for the masses.

Can anybody say cloning ray?

4) The Bible says that Jesus cured the sick and let the blind see again.

In the future, nanotechnology will allow for micromachines that will cure the sick and heal the blind and do all kinds of wonderful things. Jesus obviously had these stockpiled within his metal body and let them out to help the people of the world in an attempt (a successful attempt, I might add) to convince the people that he was the Son of God.

5) The Bible says that Jesus was a carpenter.

What's this fascination with raw materials? Obviously Jesus had to recharge his battery by eating wood. Otherwise, he would have just lost power and fallen over. Now, my other theory is that he was building weapons with the wood and his primary source of power was actually children, but I have yet to write a thesis on this.

As you can see, even this small sampling of the evidence present in The Bible is enough to suggest this theory be taught in all Sunday Schools around the world. If Intelligent Design makes it into school curriculum, I wholly expect Ms. Sutherland's Theory of Robot Jesus to follow suit. If it doesn't, I may be forced to sue the entire Christian system, including the Catholics. From: Something-Witty | Posted: 3/15/2006 2:04:37 AM | Message Detail | #002 Now, you might be saying, "But Ms. Sutherland, there is plenty of evidence to the contrary!" Well, sure, if you want to count the whole 'birth' thing as evidence. Personally, I think that Jesus pulled a rocket launcher out of his ass and forced the various authors of The Bible to include that little tidbit so that people wouldn't know the truth. In fact, any evidence you might have against me that stems from The Bible was obviously planted by Robot Jesus himself in order to keep people from suspecting that he was really a cybernetic badass from the future.

In any case, I hope that you have learned something from reading through the facts regarding this new groundbreaking theory. If you would like to hire me on as a featured columnist, I would be more than happy to oblige. My knowledge of The Bible is foolproof, as you have just witnessed.

Sincerely, Reverend Gracie Sutherland

[edit] Bill Oddie

Oddie has a very loyal and supportive fan base, that is as diverse as the body of Bill's work. From people who loved the anarchic and surreal humour of The Goodies, to those who love the more tranquil delights of Bill's natural history broadcasting. One particularly obsessive fan, is James Samuels. His house in Lowton (Lancashire) is a shrine to all things Oddie, cardboard cut outs of the great man, even Oddie curtains and wallpaper. Although his friends and family thought he went too far when he decided to get plastic surgery to look more like the great man

[edit] Vanguard 1

[edit] Radio Beacon

A 10 mW mercury battery powered transmitter on the 108 MHz band used for International Geophysical Year (IGY) scientific satellites, and a 5 mW, 108.03 MHz transmitter powered by six solar cells were used as part of a radio phase-comparison angle-tracking system. The tracking data were used to show that the earth was pear-shaped with the stem at the North Pole. These radio signals were also used to determine the total electron content between the satellite and selected ground-receiving stations. The battery-powered transmitter provided internal package temperature for about 16 days and sent tracking signals for 20 days. The solar cell powered transmitter operated for more than 6 years. Signals gradually weakened and were last received at Quito, Ecuador, in May 1964.

[edit] From Template:Snide

100px Shaun Ryder reckons this article, or its subject, is snide.
If you require assistance, he doesn't want to know.

[edit] From User talk:Jimbo Wales

Just a note...

Edit summary usage for Jimbo Wales: 54% for major edits and 35% for minor edits. Based on the last 150 major and 79 minor edits in the article namespace.

BorgHunter ubx (talk) 03:41, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

So... you're going to oppose Jimbo's RfA, or what? ;-) —Bunchofgrapes (talk) 04:04, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Yes! Good contribs, but doesn't use edit summaries often enough. Also too involved in usertalkspace and not involved enough in mainspace. Thus, sad oppose. Come back in a couple months and I might support. —BorgHunter ubx (talk) 04:15, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
  • I hear he's got the 'crats in his pocket though. fnord So... good luck stopping him, might as well pile on with a Support... ++Lar: t/c 04:33, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
Hmmm...average edits per day too low[4]. I'll have to oppose due to lack of activity :). BTW, how do you get edit summary %s?Voice-of-AllT|@|ESP 07:38, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
Fails my standards, oppose ;) NSLE (T+C) at 09:57 UTC (2006-03-12)
Oppose. Not enough edits, not enough articlespace. Good length though, but not active enough. Come back in a few months. Werdna648T/C\@ 11:27, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
Oppose Not a serious nomination. He's a frequent vandal and has many sock puppets. --D-Day My fan mail. Click to view my evil userboxes 11:45, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
Oppose, appears to be too eager to apply WP:IAR. Potential threat to Wikipedia stability. To the candidate: I suggest you withdraw now, you're unlikely to get enough support votes to pass at this rate. —Simetrical (talk • contribs) 20:21, 12 March 2006 (UTC)
Weak Support. I thought he was already an admin. The nominee fails to meet my typical RfA standards, but I suppose the quality of his contributions to Wikipedia greatly outweighs his low edit count. I would really like to see more edit-summary usage in the future, though. --TantalumTelluride 06:17, 13 March 2006 (UTC)
Strong Support- User constructed the site and owns it. Clearly admin material. -ZeroTalk 07:10, 13 March 2006 (UTC)
Oppose - Traditionally large companies or organizations usurp the founders' power and push them out with little or no compensation. Why wait? Image:Tycon.jpgCoyoty 19:05, 13 March 2006 (UTC)
I'm going to assume good faith and consider that an jest on your part. -ZeroTalk 16:47, 14 March 2006 (UTC)
HYPERSTRONG SUPPORT: He is THE BOSS. Martial Law 21:37, 17 March 2006 (UTC) :)

Just to get serious for a moment, it might help if Jimbo had a regular non-admin account and a Foundation-authority level account and make it obvious when he made an edit what the edit's authority was based on - jimbo the person (nonadmin) (deal with as you would any nonadmin edit) or Jimbo the founder and top authority (deal with as the owner of the hardware stating how we may use his (the foundation's) hardware). This is not a new idea, I know. WAS 4.250 18:26, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

I believe he already does. Rich Farmbrough 16:43 14 March 2006 (UTC).
  • Comment. What gives? Just couldn't wait till April the First? You know, this joke was really the funny the first time I heard it. In fact, I laughed so hard I fell off my wooly mammoth. (Sorry to be mean—but c'mon folks, come up with some new material for Tsathoggua's sake!)
    -,-~R'lyehRising~-,- 22:05, 17 March 2006 (UTC)


[edit] From Broomfighting

In the broadest possible sense, broomfighting is the art and science of armed combat involving cleaning, dusting or anteseptic weapons directly manipulated by hand, shot or thrown (in other words, brooms, dusters, sponges, mops, dual brooms, and so on). Very similar to its sister sport fencing, it involves the use of non-lethal cleaning objects to strike opponnents and consequently claim victory. In contemporary common usage, broomfighting tends to refer specifically to the Amercan School of Broomsmanship.

[edit] History

The year-old art of broomfighting was founded in 2005 by Grayson Butler-Peterson, currently the only known Broommaster of the Broomfighters. It was started from Butler-Peterson's affinity for a certain broom that he would twirl and toss like a batton. When a certain Neneh S asked if she could try, Butler-Peterson's excuse was that she was not a broommaster, a term he made up up on the spot. When S asked to be taught, an art and sport was born. Ironically enough, it was Neneh S who started the rival sect of Mop.

[edit] The Two Sects of Cleaning

From the begining of broomfighting, there have been two major sects to Broomfighting. One, the Broomfighters, who chose more classical weaponry including feather dusters and brooms. The other sect, however, Mop warriors, chose newer and more wet items such as sponges and mops. Though the two sects have had a significant rivalry, their methods are amazingly alike, featuring certain training methods that are exactly the same.

[edit] Ranking

In the sport of broomfighting, there are several ranks to achieve in the quest to Broommastery. They are as follows;

[edit] First Level

Meditator
Drummer
Spearmen

[edit] Second Level

Defender
Fighter

[edit] Third Level

Advanced Defender
Advanced Fighter

[edit] Fourth Level

Champion
Master

[edit] Grand Level

Grand Broom Master

[edit] Brooms and Other Weaponry

[edit] Brooms and Adapted Brooms

The weapon of choice for all broomfighters sports speed, accuracy, and blocking power all in one light weapon. Many Broommakers adapt the Broom to provide maxim performance in a required field, such as lengthening a broom for better defence, or shortening a broom for added control.

[edit] Other Weapons

Many broomfighters also use other items as backup weapons in case of a lost broom, weapons like the feather duster can be thrown at an enemy if needed, or the dustpan can be used to block oncoming attacks.

[edit] From White House

Because the office and staff of the President are located in the White House, it is common to refer to the activities of that staff as being done "by the White House." For instance, a reporter might state that "the White House responded to questions by saying...." This should not be read as saying that the building itself made the statement. Rather, when the White House itself speaks it is usually with the voice of deceased President Ulysses S. Grant, whose spirit haunts the White House, occasionally possessing it to speak with the living or drip blood from the walls.

[edit] From Man flu

Man Flu (or man-flu) is a particular form of the cold virus which only affect the male of any species. Men will only become susceptible to the man flu after puberty.

[edit] Symptoms

Please bear in mind that the symptoms of the man flu may vary from sufferer to sufferer, this is merely an outline of the most common symptoms

  • Constant pain in joints
  • Constant headache
  • Blocked or stuffy nose
  • Breathlessness
  • Low sexual drive (not always experienced)
  • Sinus pain
  • Fever
  • Swollen throat
  • Lethargy

[edit] Recommended Treatment

The symptoms described above will last for anywhere from 3 days to as much as 2 weeks. As with the common cold, man flu has no known cure but recovery can be accelerated by bed rest, TLC and as much time off work or school as can be afforded.

[edit] Controversy

A common misconception among wives and girlfriends is that there is no difference between the common cold and man flu, simply that men have a lower threshold for suffering than their female counterparts. This arises from the habit of outbreaks of man flu to occur simultaneously with outbreaks of the common cold. What must be remembered is that although man flu does not affect the female, it can be passed from the female to the male at the same time as the common cold virus, creating the illusion that the two afflictions are the same.

[edit] External links

[edit] You may be a crackpot if...

The above discussion of whether [a scientist] is or isn't a crackpot, and why, causes the irresistable impulse to reply in a manner reminiscent of Jeff Foxworthy's "You may be a redneck if..." series of humorous items...

  • If the defining moment of your adolescence is when you were telephoned by extraterrestrials... then you just may be a crackpot.
  • If you are the recipient of the Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award of the alt.usenet.kooks newsgroup... then you could possibly be a crackpot.
  • If you think the Wikipedia article about you fails to meet the Neutral Point of View policy because it doesn't properly reflect how fabulously brilliant you and your scientific theories are... then, just possibly, you could have a chance of being a crackpot.
  • If you have threatened to report your critics to the FBI, CIA, NSA, or Department of Homeland Security as perpetrators of treason because their criticism of you threatens national security and may constitute an offense punishable by the death penalty... then, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that you could be a crackpot.
  • If you react with great vehemence, with long semi-coherent rants and tirades, to the slightest suggestion that you are a crackpot, then... this could quite possibly constitute evidence that you are in fact a crackpot.
    • Now there's an idea, report my critics to the government authorities of a foreign country. I wonder if it'll be of any use? JIP | Talk 18:06, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

I guess this is from talk:Jack Sarfatti (now Talk:Jack Sarfatti/Archive 3), March 19 2006. -lethe talk + 08:24, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Jesus

Just a kindof funny combination of tags.


Padlock.svg
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[edit] From WP:CASH

[edit] Goals

  1.  ?
  2. profit

See "Underpants Gnomes".

[edit] Anomalous hydrogenarian seals

From wp:Weddell Seal#Behavior and Ecology, replacing the section about predators:

Anomalies are within wedell seals as enormously large hydrogenarians are present during mating season. Though this can be enduced, a coma will be eradicated at this time, due to technical difficulties. Hydrogenarians are usually allowed only during edit history, because the extreme climate weddell seals need to function their bodily fluids has been switched off until further notice.

Not sure how "edit history" got in there (emphasis mine, by the way), but I wonder if this was the work of an automatic translator from some other language like Japanese? --Tifego 11:46, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] God

The entire article on God briefly became this:

God:

A fictional character that starred in a few books.

[edit] From My Space

MySpace is the latest Internet game craze that's sweeping the planet! Everybody is on it: Jesus, Your mom, Goths, nerds, llamas, Lima-Beans and Emos!!

"ZOMG! Everyone and their mom has a Myspace!" - Says one teen and his friend who have succumb to the addictive game.

  • Scoring

The object of the game is to earn as many points as possible, in three categories. Here's how to score points...

  • Profile Design
   * Make text an unreadable color (2350 points)
   * Choose a background that makes your whole page unreadable (2500 points)
   * Steal a copyrighted video and put it on your profile (2300 points)
   * Be banned for life after being caught using copyrighted music videos/songs (game over)
   * Use any MySpace profile editors, such as Thomas' Myspace Editor (450 points, 314 more if you don't take out the message saying it)
   * Use a cursor that would not normally be used (475 points, 200 more if it is an hourglass cursor)
   * Have pictures that force 1024x768 users to scroll left and right (1200 points)
   * Use the <marquee> tag for a whole paragraph (365 points)
   * Create a scrolling photo gallery out of that <marquee> tag (730 points)
   * Use the <blink> tag for a whole paragraph (365 points [1000 if it is used for the whole page])
   * TYPE LIKE THIS (2500 POINTS)
   * TyPe LiKe ThIs (2501 PoInTs)
   * Cause someone's browser to crash with your profile (350 points, 7707 if the victim was not using Internet Explorer)
   * Use Javascript to cause users to unknowingly add you as their buddy (1000 points per friend) 


  • Content
   * Put a reference to sex on your page (2460 points)
   * If you are a guy, show a six pack as your main picture (10000 points)
   * If you are a girl, show breasts as your main picture (10000 points, -5000 if you are under 16)
   * Put pictures of your drunken stupors (3000 points)
   * If you are a straight fat girl, put "bi" as your sexual orientation (1050 points)
   * Put a reference to drinking if you are underage (1500 points, 900 point bonus if you have pictures of you drinking)
   * Try to act "gangsta" in your picture (500 points [100000 if you are white])
   * Make a reference to really crappy music-group, with a lead singer that looks disturbingly androgynous (5000 points)
   * If your last words are posted to your MySpace (-500 points)
   * Refer to your emo lifestyle (400 points, 200 more if you aren't kidding)
   * Make a reference to a horribly overrated musical act which whores themselves to payola. (4020 points)
   * Add lots of icons that say sappy things such as "If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?" (50 points per icon. Triple your score if the viewer's browser freezes.)
   * Take your picture using a digital camera and a mirror (128.2 points)
   * Put pictures of your favorite movies/artists (100 per artist, 200 per movie)
   * Say that you dislike reading in the "books" section of your interests section (400 points)
   * Fill out a personal survey (2000 points)
   * If you are butt ugly, use sunglasses in your photo and a black and white photo (-1050 points)
   * List your religion as "Agnostic" or "Atheist" (777 points)
   * List your religion as "Christian" or "Catholic" (Punch in the face)
   * Make ANY reference to "behind you" or "my own little universe" as your location (0.1304 points) 


Interacting with other MySpace members

   * Steal someone's "comment virginity" (Post the first comment on their profile)(666 points every time)
   * Become friends with a celebrity (100 points)
   * Become the member of a group (1000 points)
   * Defame another member (200 points)
   * Post a "sexy truck" chain letter, or other similarly-named chain letters, on others' pages (500 points, 6900 point bonus if you post it on an ugly person's page)
   * If you are a girl, post comments, bulletins and blogs reagarding how sexy (see also: sexi, sexxi, secksi, sexsi, sexxy, secksy and any other misspelling you can imagine) all your female friends are (100 points per friend, an additional 50 points if they are fat)
   * Throw a burning whale on a friend or family member (125 points)
   * Throw a burning whale on another member who isn't a friend or family member (250 points)
   * Add a link your myspace in your AIM, MSN, Yahoo, or internet forum profile (300 points)
   * Add over 100 people you'll never communicate with to your friends list (1343 points the first 1000, 453 points every 500 thereafter)
   * Have sex with someone you met through MySpace (4908 points)
   * Have sex with the 48 year old overweight unemployed man who poses as Tila Tequila (-200 points)
   * Post the same bulletin 3 times in a row (600 points, 250 points for every additional copy of the bulletin)
   * Beg people to leave you comments, whether it be on your pictures or your profile (800 points, 200 point bonus for every comment you successfully get)
   * Make a bulletin bragging about new pictures (1000, 800 point bonus if you use a misleading subject in your bulletin)
   * Post a bulletin regarding the reader's untimely demise, posted with a misleading subject (230 points)
   * Post chain letters (500 points, 300 point bonus if it is a letter regarding MySpace shutting down or your account getting deleted)
   * Have Tom on your friends list (-325 points)
   * Send out the bulletin stating that whoever doesnt repost is only a friend collector & will be deleted "serves them right, acting like this is a popularity contest in high school" (500 points, 2800 Bonus points for each friend that you delete because they didn't repost)
   * Delete a friend (-1400 points)
   * Block a friend (-9999 points)
   * Set your age to under 16 so you can make your profile private (-4000 points)
   * Shut down your MySpace (game over) 

The highest score ever achieved while playing myspace was made by a fellow named OMGsooohott6969, who scored 2930000 points. It should be pointed out that OMGsooohott6969 has both a six pack and breasts and occasionally states he is a bisexual girl.

As of now, no member has ever had sex with another member due to them being glued to their chairs too busy stealing comment virginities.



It's in Uncyclopedia here. --Tifego 20:42, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] More from User talk:Jimbo Wales

I love how your army of yes men (you call them "administrators") conspire to hide everything from you. Really. It's priceless. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 129.7.35.92 (talkcontribs)

Yes. —Bunchofgrapes (talk) 19:23, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
Yes, sir! Johntex\talk 19:26, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
How can they conpire against Jimbo and be his "yes men"? I am confused. I thought you were either one of Jimbo's "yes men" or you conspired against him. I didn't know it worked both ways. --LV (Dark Mark) 19:38, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
And you call yourself Lord Voldemort. Some evil master YOU are! ... "yes" to his face, conspire behind his back. Simple! Hope that helps! And turn in your secret decoder ring. ++Lar: t/c 20:26, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
What did you just say to me?!?! That's it, Death Eaters shall be at your door momentarily. And quit giving out trade secrets! ;-) --LV (Dark Mark) 20:46, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
It's the way we say "Yes", with extra "s"es while slowly rubbing our hands together: "Yessssss...." Image:Tycon.jpgCoyoty 21:36, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
I can say yes and lick his boots simultaneously. Rx StrangeLove 23:40, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
Frankly, I agree with this person. This is the one thing that many of us are too afraid to say. Although it has been said in the past, this is the best way to say it. Thank you. --Aum.pngShell <e> 23:46, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

I think that means saying yes like this: YES!!! See you guys at the Burning Evidence to Hide it from Jimbo BBQ this Saturday, JDoorjam Talk 23:59, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Staxringold's talk page:

[edit] Good Afternoon

Hello how are you doing I was woundering how much are you selling that lawn mower can you be so hyonest and tell me how much... -Dunno who that was from or why it was posted. Staxringold 20:37, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Talk:Pangaea

[edit] when???

"Pangæa broke up about 200 million years ago (mya). When the continents first came together to form Pangæa 180 mya,"

So it broke up, and then' formed? - Omegatron 06:23, Mar 13, 2005 (UTC)
It came together about 300 million years ago and broke apart about 180 million years ago:
Pangæa

~300 mya – ~180 mya

Rest In Peace

— Ŭalabio 20:42, 2005 Mar 13 (UTC)

[edit] Clearly Non-notable (from talk:Sun)

I find it highly unlikely that this "sun" is notable. It doesn't even appear to have its own website, as sun.com is a link to a computer hardware company. Furthermore, I believe it may be a hoax, based on the existence of this garage band's myspace account: http://www.myspace.com/thesun . I'm unsure whether to simply add a speedy deletion tag, or use the full AfD procedure. Your thoughts? --Xyzzyplugh 01:47, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Eddie Van Halen

Van Halen has one son, Wolfgang William Van Halen, born March 16, 1991. He was named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and nicknamed "Wolfie", but it is still the kind of name that will get him beaten up after school.

[edit] Chimp rock

Chimp rock is a style of music distinguished by complete lack of formal training or commercial potential, yet essentially popular and listenable, as opposed to deliberately anti-commercial "experimental music". Nonetheless, chimp rock is very experimental - in fact it is more truly experimental than most scenester bullshit, since it is rooted in a stance of isolated and extreme visionary apocalypticism and anthemic righteousness.

Chimp is often associated with teenage boys recording heavy metal songs on handheld tape recorders, or else with middle-aged acid-casualties who have regressed to childlike simplicity and uninhibited directness. However, simply to call it "lo-fi" or "outsider" is to seriously underestimate the seminal and plenipotentiary resources of the chimp attitude. Chimp can be hi-fi, it can be well produced, it can come from the hands of masters as well as from the lips of children.

Daniel Johnston and Charlie Dold are among the boldest and most pure exemplars of the chimp esthetic; but early psychedelic bands such as Red Krayola, the Silver Apples, the 13th Floor Elevators, the Beach Boys, the Seeds, Sun Ra's Intergalactic Arkestra, and Cro-Magnon, can in retrospect be considered forerunners of chimp. More recent artists are Olivia Tremor Control, Friends Forever, and Wesley Willis. An endearing vignette of chimp rock can be found in the movie "High Fidelity", when a jaded record-store owner (played by John Cusack) finds renewal by promoting a group of two teenage skate punks who are attempting to make rap music.

It would be misleading to say that chimp rock flourished at any particular place or time, since chimpy sounds are forever pressing their way through the hardened and joyless forms of commercial and sub-commercial music. However, the term "chimp rock" was first coined in Boston in the early 1990s. Mark Erdody, leader of the hard rock band Kudgel, was responsible for widespread use of the term, and is considered "the granddaddy of chimp rock". Kudgel even released an album entitled "Chimp's Not Dead!", but in spite of its very chimpy artwork, this record is hardly an example of the chimp rock sound. Older and more entrenched elements in the Boston music scene maintained that the band Deluxx was the first to use the name "chimp rock". Indeed, Deluxx on its album "The Forgiveness Towel" was much closer to the chimp esthetic than Kudgel.

In the mid-1990s, the fanzine "Wingnut" featured several articles and interviews chronicling the lore of chimp rock. At the same time, the short-lived Chimp! record label released several 7" singles by the brilliant Trollin Withdrawal, which pushed the deliberate cultivation of chimp to new levels. The equally short-lived Sealed Hotel record label released an LP compilation, "Sonic Chimp Vol. 1" (1996), which surveyed the field of known chimp sounds at that time, featuring contributions from Jon Davis, Glemun (members of Lightning Bolt), Charlie Dold, Trollin Withdrawal, Gerty Farish, and the Pendulum Floors, as well as lesser-known artists such as Teddy Fire, Larry Marshall, Major Morgan, Nancy Andrews, and Bob Starker.

The long-awaited Sonic Chimp Vol.2 failed to materialize as the manic energy of the 1990s dwindled into a tame and elitist Indie Rock scene that could no longer offer a word of inspiration to the fearless rebels who had given it so much. But the spirit of chimp lives on - it would be impossible to kill such an elemental part of the human spirit - new generations will doubtless carve out their place in the pantheon, even if countless young ones fall by the wayside.

[edit] From Horndean Technology College

[edit] The Website{ANUS}

The 'webmaster{ANUS}' is hardly a master, as he employs Copy and Paste to insert img tags (also he claims to know Perl, which he spells 'Pearl'). He also seems to be in love with div tags. If you looked at the site for more than 10 seconds you could easily notice something wrong, for example the gaudy white space at the bottom of every page.

[edit] Technology Status{ANUS}

The assesors of this status looked around HTC to decide whether it deserved the status. They understood that the school had a large number of IT facilities. However they did not, before giving the technology status, actually test drive the technology, which is shown in that the technology just does not work; students are lucky if they are able to login before the 3rd attempt.

[edit] The Students{ANUS}

This school is full of chavs

[edit] External links

[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/14 Year Old Girls

14 Year Old Girls. Band vanity. Nintendocore?

Redirect to Roman Polanski No! I mean, keep.

[edit] User declaring himself to be a Crip... (from WP:AN/I)

Now that we've got our little nice discussion out of the way, hopefully... User:Thousandsons has, on his user page, a declaration that he's a member of the Crips -- a criminal street gang, by California's definition, and I'm sure by many other jurisdictions'. The question is -- is there a policy against such a declaration on a user page? If so, what might be an appropriate action to take about this? --Nlu (talk) 07:06, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

IMO harmless until he starts trolling. NSLE (T+C) at 07:14 UTC (2006-03-21)
If he starts dealing drugs on out-of-the-way talk pages, or does a drive-by shooting of house, then call the cops. Otherwise, treat him like any other user. --Carnildo 09:22, 21 March 2006 (UTC)
Hmmm... This user has both red and blue on his user page. Maybe he's just a part-time Crip, or was placed in a position in the organization through a temp-agency. He probably just does clerical work, or maybe he logs minutes in Blood beatdowns. --Jeffrey O. Gustafson - Shazaam! - <*> 09:53, 21 March 2006 (UTC)
Present: Ice Dogg, CaPiTaL lEtTa AlTeRnAtA, Madd Hamsta, Masta Bater
Apologies: E-Z Vauxhall Driver
Secretary: Thousand Sons
1. Beatdown productivity down by 12% on last month. Madd Hamsta to look into. Suggested this may be a temporary blip resulting from the recent shift of focus from 'critical' to 'lyrical' beatdowns.
2. Ice Dogg complained that CaPiTaL lEtTa AlTeRnAtA had owed the crack kitty $2.67 for two months. AlTeRnAtA replied that Dogg could "stuff it up his ass in pennies". A full and frank exchange of views was held.
3. Full and frank exchange of views aborted due to running out of bullets.
4. Mad Hamsta to order more bullets.
5. Any other business: Masta Bater questioned the long-standing constitutional policy of "Bros before hos". Argued that this was unrealistic, and that particularly fine hos should surely take precedence over some particularly fronting bros. Agreed to form a sub-committee to research how fine a ho needs to be. Members and budget to be decided later.
Next meeting will be 28th March 2006 if anyone is still alive. Agenda will be posted with a spraycan on the side of the Church of St Gareth of Glitter. --Sam Blanning (formerly Malthusian) (talk) 10:44, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Great smileys made by your keyboard

Examples:

o_0 0_o O_O o_o 0_0 ^_^ ^-^ ^o^ :) :P :D :/ :| :B :0


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