57 Varieties of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!


Reference to the classic Heinz slogan.

Contents

[edit] Carl's Number

Carl's number is often described as the largest number that has ever been seriously used in a Wikipedia article. It is too large to be written in scientific notation because even the digits in the exponent would exceed the number of bits in the Wikipedia hard drive, so it needs special notation to write down. Carl's number is much larger than other well known large numbers such as a googol and a googolplex, and even larger than Graham's number, another well-known extremely large number.

[edit] Carl's problem

Carl's number is connected to the following problem in the branch of mathematics known as "just way too many dimensions":

Consider an n-dimensional universe, such that n0 = phi. Then begin to increase n indefinitely. As n approaches 42, a Graham's number-dimensional universe collides with the n-dimensional universe to unite and form a single m-dimensional universe. What is the most probable value of m?

Although the solution to this problem is not yet proved, Carl's number is the most probably solution and is the generally accepted answer. Carl found this when attempting to solve the first ever Graham's number-dimensional rubik cube.

[edit] Definition of Carl's number

Carl's number Q is defined as follows:

Q_1=3\uparrow\uparrow\uparrow\uparrow3 + 42=
   \begin{matrix}
    \underbrace{3_{}^{3^{3^{3^{{}^{.\,^{.\,^{.}}}}}}} + 42}\\
    \mbox{ write the number three } 3^{205891132094649}\mbox { times and add 42}
   \end{matrix}

[edit] Historical significance of Q

Although the exact reason for picking Q is still unknown, it is often rumored that Carl picked the letter Q due to a complicated vector problem involving more dimensions than there are fundamental particles in the visible universe. To get around this, Carl created the Q notation, such that Q is everything. (The one and only contribution of User:MyNameIsCarl and, incidentaly much (I can't express how much) smaller than Grahams number.)

[edit] ...With Intensity!!!!!!

On December 20, 2006 The unverifiable dancing game Dance With Intensity was put up for deletion. This is one of the points of debate:

  • Delete with Intensity - as per MER-C. --tgheretford (talk) 09:44, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From The Mrs Goggins Trophy

The Mrs Goggins Trophy
The Mrs Goggins Trophy (or MGT for short) is a cup awarded to the winner of the Pro Evo bout 'twixt co-hosts 'Long ball' D and Raven, and guests'rock god' Esqand 'vinegar toes' Phwilly.

The trophy derived from the attending Esq's likeness to the Postman Pat character.

Tuesday, December 16th has been penned in as the date of the inaugral round of the MGT with Phwilly hotly tipped to finish bottom.

D usually takes control of Arsenal - the pump up the field from the goaltender or the 'hook' from a defender up to Henry suiting his long ball style of play. D is also noted for rarely scoring from open play and also letting his netminder take all corners, free kicks and penalties, as well as bringing him out of his box on more than one occasion. Not to mention his knack of heading the ball into his own net when a ball is whipped into his own box.

Raven reigned supreme throughout all bouts on Pro Evo 5 with his self-created Norwich City team but alas hasn't had time to enter said team into the new version of Pro Evo so he usually settles for Manchester United or disgraced Juventus.

Esq plumps for his beloved AC Milan - such is his Italian heritage. Said loyalty is further reflected by his donning of the official shirt worn by the Rossoneri (Red-blacks).

Dearest Phwil (Schildkröt or shelled toad), in homage to his looky likey Rafael Benitez, dons a retro Liverpool top (evoking memories past of the time he received delivery of a pizza in said garb) as he takes charge of the mighty Reds. His game lacks any real skill with Phwilly usually putting all 11 men behind the ball and shutting up shop from the off. He has yet to win a bout or even come close. Poor Phwilly.

[edit] Unusual Rules

Occasionally the participants of the MGT will agree to break from the norm and invoke the Unusual Rules clause. This involves scores being based not on goals but also on the following criteria as listed on Ye Olde Unusual Rules Scribe:

Yellow karton = 1 goal

Red karton = 2 goals (2 yellows = 2 goals)

Woodwork strucketh = 1 goal (multiple strikes welcome)

Ball atop net = 2 goals

Air kick = 1 goal

Corner flag strucketh = 1 goal

Player knobbled = 1 goal (Awarded to distributor not recipient)

Player knobbled harsheth = 2 goals

When playing under Unusual Rules, Esq will attempt to cheat and strike a sneaky corner onto 'atop net' The wily fox has yet to succeed with such a cheapshot.


[edit] The Text Message Garnai Controversy

The players doing battle in the Mrs Goggins Trophy
One rule that was initially entered then scrapped from the scribe involved 1 goal being awarded to aplyer if his opponent garnered a text message on his mobile during a match. However, this was scrapped following protest from Phwilly who receives, on average, 507 texts during the evening. It was also assumed that sneaky D would text the players during a game to influence the final standings.


[edit] Pre-bout odds

Betting form for the bout is provided by the mobile texting Question and Answer service AQA to discover who is the pre-bout tip to claim victory, and also the wooden spoon (usually Phwilly).

However, in the final bout before the introduction of the MGT this service was called into question after it tipped Esq to reign supreme despite Raven triumphing in every single previous bout. The form book was turned on its head as D secured the title (due to him being the only person to play the game outside of the bout on his PSP).

This has led to critics doubting the use of AQA, notably Raven replying to said service with a volley of swear words. AQA was ridiculed further by Raven after it suggested a 'glorious freekick would be scored in the second game'. No freekick has been scored by any participant in any game, ever.

[edit] Notice posted on the corridor of the ground floor at Hietalahdenkatu 7A, Helsinki, Finland

The notice posted on the corridor of the ground floor at Hietalahdenkatu 7A, Helsinki, Finland is a roughly A4-sized piece of paper posted on the wall of the corridor of a ground floor of an apartment building at Hietalahti, Helsinki, Finland. The notice is printed in Finnish and reminds people that storing bicycles by chaining them into the mat cleaning racks outside the building is forbidden.

[edit] From E-40 - Ice cream.. BITCH!

This diff shows that the article was vandalized by replacing the title of an album to I Like Ice Cream Bitch.

[edit] Someone doesn't believe in Simeon_Stylites...

Found this at the very end of the article on Pole-sitting.

"no way any of this information is correct about the dude on the column NO WAY!! 36 years?? he woulda had to have like a psp or someting"

Yes. He had a magical time-traveling PSP in the year 388! Of course!

[edit] From The Count of Monte Cristo

Mrs.Stumbs english classes : do not use this to write any papers or do any college portfolios! she will catch you!

[edit] From Da Big Boom

Da Big Boom is the name colloquially given to the mutual destruction of every WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) on the face of the Earth at the same time in the same place on October 1, 1997, shortly after the Rapture. A number of other materials, including but not limited to several tonnes of C4, TNT, Nitro glycerin, and antimatter, were also used as aids in the explosion.

[edit] Effects on the Environment

The destruction of the world had a massive effect on the environment, including the simultaneous extinction of all species on the planet, except Australians, who are still saying, "WTF, mates?" According to a Gallup poll of martians, 98% of all inhabitants of the red planet describe Da Big Boom as "one big frag and the best fireworks ever."

[edit] Criticism

Many humans were against Da Big Boom at the time of its occurance. All criticism ceased after the Da Big Boom and unanimous agreement of its success remained widespread in most parts of the world. However, some people, such as George W. Bush, deny all claims that the world has been destroyed, suggesting that it might instead have simply rearranged itself into two stars.

[edit] Causes

It is unclear why Da Big Boom was considered a good idea. Some believe that it occurred in the midst of a war for oil. Others believe it was inspired by the rallying cry to "nuke Sudan" by one Matthew J. Hammond.

However, many believe the most likely reason of all, is simply that his heart was two sizes too small.

[edit] From sexual cannibalism

Gotta love malapropisms

Any male who succumbs to the female's attempts to devour him before mating occurs fails to pass on his DNA. This is only applicable in species in which the male is not fully complacent in his demise.

[edit] Template: Jimbo stub

This linked to Category:Jimbo's left nostril stubs.

[edit] from Quint

Kathleen Quint is 41 years of age. she is married with three children... sorry four children, kristy. Adios

[edit] From Web Hosting Reviews

User recreated an article that (I think) had been previously speedy deleted. Notice the header that they included this time around.

Created page with '{{db-spam}}Web Hosting Reviews are generally remarks and Web Hosting Reviews are generally remarks and comments from the customers using certain Web Hosting Service . Customers put their feedback from the expe...'

[edit] From Christopher Marlowe

This is when Marlowe was best by the gods of Egypt and became preganant with triplets which he later named delic, shara, and elizabeth.

[edit] From List of songs about tequila

[edit] From Vaisseaux Bank

Amazing what a one-letter typo will do.... Shopping?

Vaisseaux Bank is an area of shallow water eight kilometres from the south coast of Grande-Terre, in the French Caribbean departement of Guadeloupe. It rises to just a few metres below sea level, and as such is a significant hazard to shopping.

[edit] Wooden Thomas

The following isn't the AFD nomination - it is the actual text of the article.

Non-notable artist/musician. Most notable claim is having published an album in 2004. Article is also POV. It has been around since July 2005 which is why I didn't just prod it. The articles that link to here are Casandra Stark which is tagged for cleanup and verification, and Talk:Pine Barrens (New Jersey) which only references in regard to how to format the Pine Barrens page.

[edit] Clikipedia

[edit] The Game

Clickipedia is a game played over the Wikipedea database. It can be played as a one person solitary challenge or in groups.

[edit] Objective

The object of the game is to navigate from the current Wikipedea "Featured Article" to the previous day's "Featured Article" using only the hyperlinks embedded in the articles. The sequence of hperlinks from the current to previous featured article is known as a "hyperlink chain" or "chain". A player of Clikipedea should attempt to navigate in as few "clicks" as possible and hence, minimise their chain.

[edit] Constraints

Only hyperlinks that exist in an article in a chain one day prior to the appearence of a featured article starting that chain can be used in that chain. This is intended to discourage the editing of articles for the purpose of creating a shorter chain. Not only would this be cheating, it would also be an abuse of Wikipedia.

Only internal Wikipedea hyperlinks embedded in an article can be used. Hyperlinks appearing in the "navigation" and "toolbox" panels (fixed on the left of the web page) can not be used. Hyperlinks to web pages outside Wikipedea (eg, Citations, References, On-Line sources and External Links) can not be used.

[edit] Example Games

Example Game 1: 19/01/07. A chain of 4 clicks.

19/01/07 Featured Article: El_Greco

18/01/07 Featured Article: Restoration Literature

El_Greco, Rennaissance, William Shakespeare, The Restoration, Restoration Literature

Example Game 2: 18/01/07. A chain of 3 clicks. 18/01/07 Featured Article: Restoration Literature

17/01/07 Featured Article: Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

Restoration Literature, England, [[wikipedia:Sheffield], Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

Example Game 3: 17/01/07. A chain of 5 clicks. 17/01/07 Featured Article: Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

16/01/07 Featured Article: Halloween

[edit] bored workers

this edit to Downer EDi (an Australian engineering company) appears to be legitimate: 203.58.44.15 resolves to ns1.downerengineering.com.au. [1]

Downer EDI has a very boring and tedious office in Gladesville, which is a small festering hole on the outskirts of Sydney. It is so small there is no possible place for its starved workers to obtain lunch. Please help us. We're stuck.

[edit] Gaywarts Pool of Bitchcraft and Lizardry

Gaywarts Pool of Bitchcraft and Lizardry is a real pool of gays that is the main setting of the Barry Brown series.

Gaywarts is the only known pool of gays in Australia, training the gay men of Australia possessing gay abilities to become fully qualified gays and lesbians. Its status is not discussed in great detail in the Barry Brown novels, but it is known to be a horny pool taking gays and lesbians from ages 11 to 98. T. K. Bowling initially said there are about 9 billion horny people at Gaywarts. He later suggested around six billion, while acknowledging that this number was still inconsistent with the large number of people in Barry's year. He further explained that this had resulted from hes creating only 9000 characters for Barr's year.

There are two other pools of gayness mentioned by name in the Barry Brown novels: one, Bumbuttons Academy of Lesbians, is located in France, while the Duumstrangle Gay Institute is located in Brazil. The name of a possible pool, the Fat People Institute, suggests that it may be found in North America. This organisation is in fact only mentioned in relation to a number of middle-aged lesbians in Barry Brown and the Order in the Court and T. K. Bowling has not confirmed if it is indeed a school of gayness in the United States.

It is also possible for adults to study the art of gayness by distance learning, a method attempted by Argus PingPong, as Barry inadvertently discovered in his second year that PingPong was attempting to teach himself basic gayness from a KWIKGAY correspondence course in beginners' gayness. The pamphlet mentioned only adults: it is unknown if it offers services to children.

It is unclear how Gaywarts is funded, although there is no suggestion that students pay fees. Students are required to purchase their own textbooks, gay clothig, and other supplies, however. Some financial aid is available for students: in the sixth book of the series, there is mention of a special fund for books or equipment for needy students.

[edit] From Scots law (the distressing case of pop).

WARNING! This case was particularly gruesome and those of a delicate disposition are advised not to read the following paragraph.

Mrs Donoghue had been enjoying an ice cream with ginger beer her friend had bought her in Mr Minchella's café in Paisley, when she emptied the opaque ginger beer bottle out and the decomposing remains of a snail emerged.

diff: [2]

[edit] From Red Lobster

One time, I got food poisoning at this Red Lobster in Tuscaloosa. Seriously, it was bad, I was throwing up all night. I even threw up on my suitcase so all my clothes smelled like it, so I had to go wash them off, which was really bad because the next morning I was supposed to give a presentation at this conference for the company I work for. I REALLY HATE my job, but hey, it's the only company that would hire me despite my seventy-four registered sex offenses.

So yeah, there I was, wandering around the hall at 2 in the morning, washing my clothes to try to get the smell of vomit out, and this hooker walks up and propositions me right in the hall! She even looked like she'd just finished with another customer in one of the rooms on my floor. I was like "Haha. No" and walked away, but then I decided since I was having such a terrible night some company might not be so bad, so I went to bed with her after paying her 20 bucks (ridiculous!) and the next morning I woke up with a burning sensation in my genitals, and I was 2 hours late for the meeting.

And that's the time I got food poisoning at Red Lobster.

[edit] From an entry for a media veterinary surgeon

hi harry my name is ...... and our bird will not stop laying eggs and she gets really angry and she will bit you. when she is not laying eggs she will bit you if you are a girl or not my older brother Tristan cause she is has bird. this is not the bird it is my guinea pigs they fit so we but a divider so they are not with each other but one has a toe haging off that means he has 3 toes on one foot and 4 toes on 3 of his feet. our dog patch when ever sameone cames over she pees her self and it is really inbarsing.

That's great but I severely doubt Dr Harry actually reads his own Wikipedia article's discussion page.

[edit] (censored)

THIS PAGE IS A LOAD OF User:Flyingidiot/blackout!!!
YOU PEOPLE THINK YOUR SOO User:Flyingidiot/blackout FUNNY!!!
WELL YOU User:Flyingidiot/blackout PEOPLE ARENT User:Flyingidiot/blackout WORTH A User:Flyingidiot/blackout CHUCKLE!!!!

User:Flyingidiot/blackout YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*











*Not an acutal complaint

[edit] From "Power Warriors"

Billions of Years ago, Earth had an Advanced Ancient Civilization. The Civilization created The Nexus Mecha - Giant Humanoid Robots. When the Alien Empire called "Gaara" was afraid of what Earth would do they decided to destroy the Ancient Civilization. The Civilization Leader known as the Shin sent his Son after an Eternity.

In the Year 2007, Ken (The Leader's Son) arrived on the Earth. There he met Michael, Josh, Leon & Lin. 3 Syndicates - Gaara, Voltes & Shogun Tribes started to attack Earth. The 5 Humans fight the Syndicates known as the Power Warriors

[edit] Squirrel rock band (something I don't expect to make an E! or MTV documentary soon.)

West Virginia,Bob millanini took four squirrels from his kneighborhood and payed gibson to make little mini guitars and a bass.The drums he constructed hiself and he gave the squirrels their instruments.immediatly the squirrels began to fight and 2 of them started mating.It took several years to teach the squirrels to play but soon they were rocking to zepellin covers.They even won the battle of the bands and realesed a cd.But soon the squirrels wanted to go in different directions musically.The lead guitarist starting doing crack and evens quirrel prostitution.The squirrel drummer died in a tragic roadkill incedent and the band broke up.Bob Millanini has started on a new project though.He is currently teaching raccoons to rock.He hopes they wont go nuts like the squirrels but he does catch them digging in his trash can every once and a while.

[edit] The meaning of life the universe and everything

This was fun. An article created simply with the text

42

Nominated for WP:SPEEDY simply because it was a rephrasing of the title, and we already know that the meaning of life is 54... oops, sorry, 42.

I'm also tempted to reply with Wikipedia:The World Will Not End Tomorrow... :-) --///Jrothwell (talk)/// 19:32, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Another big penis edit... yawn...

This time on my variant of the main page, quite sneaky as well - I didn't spot it at first. But look at this: [3].

For your convenience, "the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit" was replaced by "the pink penis that anyone can edit".

I'd rather not try. --///Jrothwell (talk)/// 19:48, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Hate to nitpick but there is no mention of the size of the penis it could be a small one. Quadzilla99 19:20, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Dinker

1 dinker =
SI units
0.152400 m 152.400 mm
US customary / Imperial units
0.500000 ft 6.00000 in

The dinker is a measure of length. It is a unit that is used in a colloquial fashion, similar to how the Torr is used when discussing pressure measurements. It is a basic unit of length in the Imperiametric System, commonly used for 'ball-park' size and distance estimates. Originally, the dinker was defined by the Committee for Length Measure as the height of a standard Poker Trophy. Since that time, the unit has been standardised and made equivalent to 6 inches.

The symbol for the dinker is ♂. Decimal multiples and submultiples of the dinker, such as kilodinker (1000 dinkers) and centidinker (1/100 dinker), are denoted by adding standard prefixes to dinker (see table below).

The angle of dinklination is the angle subtended by a dinker from a distance of 2 feet, and is approximately equivalent to 14.25o.

[edit] Timeline of definition

  • 2006December 16 — Following months of proposals and public consultations, the official symbol for the dinker is established as ♂.
  • 2007January 15 — The Committee for Length Measure is successful in its bid to establish the dinker as the standard unit of length in the Imperiametric System of measurement.

[edit] Prefixed forms of dinker

Prefixes are often employed to denote decimal multiples and submultiples of the dinker. The most commonly used factors of dinker are listed below in bold.

Factor Name Symbol Factor Name Symbol
10−1 decidinker d♂ 101 decadinker da♂
10−2 centidinker c♂ 102 hectodinker h♂
10−3 millidinker m♂ 103 kilodinker k♂
10−6 microdinker µ♂ 106 megadinker M♂
10−9 nanodinker n♂ 109 gigadinker G♂
10−12 picodinker p♂ 1012 teradinker T♂
10−15 femtodinker f♂ 1015 petadinker (firmi) P♂
10−18 attodinker a♂ 1018 exadinker E♂
10−21 zeptodinker z♂ 1021 zettadinker Z♂
10−24 yoctodinker y♂ 1024 yottadinker Y♂

[edit] Equivalents in other units

Imperiametric value Other unit
1 ♂ 6 inches
16.67 c♂ 1 inch
1 n♂ 1.524 ångströms
0.1 n♂ 1 wångström

[edit] See also

[edit] From Talk:Wikipe-tan

Wikipe-tan? NOOOOOOOO!

[edit] Cleaning my room

Monday, January 08, 2007

Cleaning your room...

When my mother asks me to clean my room, I simpley ask "Why?" She normally replies with the same old, "So I don't have to look at it like that anymore!" "Like what?" I question. "Like a tornado hit it!" She replies. "My room is the room of an artist. That is the reason why my cut up magazines, modge podge, scissors, and posterboards are all over the floor. If you don't like it, I can simpley close the door, or if you'd rather, you not come in, or shield your eyes when you do come in."

For some strange reason, this normally doesn't work, and i don't know why. It makes perfect sense to me!

But what really ticks me off is when my mother asks me to make my bed! "WHY? I'm just gunna sleep in it again tonight!" Luckily, I have found the PERFECT solution to this problem. Put a sleeping bag over your bed, and sleep in that every night! I hate sheets anyway! They're just annoying!

thank you for listening!

[edit] Adults against myspace (from the same user as the previous entry)

Myspace.... I dont understand why schools are now going online to check and see if their students have myspaces. How is it any of their buisness?! Its fine that they want them to be safe and everything, but isnt that the parents job? Schools are getting much too personal these days! Honestly, if a student put up a suggestive picture of themself on myspace, why should the teachers even be looking at that anyway? Why do they care so much? Let the parents handle it! Kids are controlled enough at school as it is. They dont need to be controlled through the computer by their teachers as well. It's fine if teachers want to talk to kids about safety on the internet and myspace, but they have NO right to tell kids they can't use it. It's a free country for god's sake! Checking if a student has a myspace is like going through a teachers personal file. If they can check our myspaces, i want to see their personal file! They have no right to just barge in and look at kids myspaces, and sometimes delete them, even if they are public. No matter how safe a child is being when they use it, teachers are against it! I have no problem with schools not letting students log in on school computers, but at home, let us do what we want for a change!If anybody can help me understand why people are so controlling about this subject, please let me know!

[edit] Vince DiCola

Vince DiCola is a demigod in control of the Rock! dimension, created when almighty Thor's hammer collided with Eddie Van Halen's guitar in their epic battle for control of the Balkan Peninsula. His feet have never touched the ground, instead he travels on a magnificent, snow white stallion that he commands with his electric guitar that he summons from the very ether itself! His day's begin early with a shower of pure Columbian cocaine and a vigorous brushing of his teeth with Cabo Wabo gold. He spends his days recording the greatest music to ever grace the ears of God or man and simply deletes it before he goes to bed late in the evening. He rules the Rock! dimension from a tower of guitars, all taken from opponents he's faced in countless "Intergalactic Rock! Off Challenges/Laser Light Show Spectacular". Needless to say, he is the living embodiment of all things Metal, Rock!, and technological genius. His grace will save us all. Amen.

My history teacher Mr. Kuhn hates Myspace...

[edit] From Succubus

Succubi have also been reported as enthusiasts of the popular cereal, Smacks.

[edit] From the History of Great Village, Nova Scotia

"The vessel 'Hopewell' and it's sister ship "Donewell" with Irish settlers reached Halifax, October 9, 1761, and landed passengers where they remained over the winter. It was a long boring winter, one so boring, it was believed to spawn the human race's first homosexuals. Early next spring arrangements were made to hire a vessel to take the homosexual people to the 'District of Cockquid' where the best lands and greatest quantities of wet men in that part of the country were assigned to them, and furnished them with provisions out of the Provincial Funds.

[edit] The Brady Bunch 35th Anniversary Reunion Special: Still Brady After All These Years

Yes, it was 35 years later, and the Brady's were...well, they were still Brady. You know... Apparently there was a TV show based around this, in a last-ditch effort to cash in on the former, long-lost success of the wacky and embarassing Tv family from the 70's with the same name. Yes, there was an anniversary show for the Brady's - 35 years later. Nobody watched it.

[edit] From Death metal

Today it has been reduced to what many call loud disgusting noise. Most of these artists have little to no skill on the guitar, followed by a dual-base drummer, and the perpetual screaming, moaning lead singer. If one wishes to recreate these sounds, one must simply grunt and smash a loud object.

[edit] From Australian Magpie

It is claimed by others that if we systematically shot the magpies that swoop, then eventually this selection pressure would result in a subspecies that doesn't do it. Magpies are, however, and regrettably, a protected species.

Magpies are communicative birds and it is said that if you talk to your local magpies on a regular basis (instead of systematically shooting them in an attempt to create some sort of non-swooping magpie subspecies), they will get to know you, and will not swoop, as they recognise you as part of their magpie clan.

[edit] From Green Day

More recently, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher has criticized the song "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" for ripping off his own song "Wonderwall". Gallagher stated, "If you listen, you'll find it is exactly the same arrangement as Wonderwall. They should have the decency to wait until I am dead (before stealing my songs). I, at least, pay the people I steal from that courtesy. They consider themselves to be - and I quote - 'a kick-ass rock 'n' roll band'. They could not be less kick-ass if they tried." [1] Oasis, of course, is better known by their other band name: "We Wish We Were The Beatles."

[edit] from: Nigga-Me

Nigga me is a bum that wanders the freeport streets with a vast amount of items. He usually goes from house to house, steals garbage and then redeems it for vouchers at local supermarkets. Rumor has it that he lives in a great facility, but others say they see him sleeping in the randall park dugouts.

[edit] PALS search for the jade monkey

Cast:

Lee Miller - Ricky

Matthew Keir - Stephen

Keren Gillies - Beth

Hannah Spurr - Samantha


Tag line: There're more than friends... They're PALS

The Jade Monkey has been stolen from the British Museum and it's up to a group of four friends to get it back. When the Cardboard Box Company gets taken over by French-Canadian entrepreneur Jean Claude le Deux, Ricky must pack up and move offices. However, he overhears his new boss talking about 'Le Phasme' and monkeys. When a note gets put under the door of Ricky and Stephen's apartment, the PALS go to find out more. They get dragged into a secret world by Special Agent Pratt and sent undercover to spy on Jean Claude. Will they succeed in their mission or will they end up tired?!?!

[edit] From Banglighting

Banglighting is a sexual practice where a lightbulb has to explode before the couple have sex. It is widely claimed that the bang makes it sexy. It is similar to balloon fetishism, and is widely popular with porn stars in the United States and Canada.

Justin Berry was rumoured to have made it popular: and Princess Superstar claims it is good for your sex life.

The practice was invented in Stockport in 1987 by Annika Mason and Joanne DeVeres, a lesbian couple.

[edit] Fidel Castro

From Reference Desk/Humanities

Why is not shown that Fidel Castro was born in Honduras?

Do you have any evidence for this? User:Zoe|(talk) 03:43, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Why Fidel Castro is not shown that he was born in Honduras?

Because he wasn't born in Honduras. He was born on a sugar plantation in what is now the Holguín Province of Cuba. Bhumiya (said/done) 06:08, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
To be precise, he was born on August 13 1926, on a sugar plantation in Birán, near Mayari in Holguín, then part of Oriente province. What on earth gave you the idea he was born in Honduras? Are you perhaps confusing this with Holguin? Clio the Muse 09:09, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

¿Why is not shown that Fidel was a baseball pitcher? (El Mundo, November 28, 1946. University of Havana. Pitcher: F. Castro) If his fastball and curveball had been better would he have played for the Yankees or Senators? Edison 07:06, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Castro wasn't a great baseball player. He was a decent school player and a big fan of the sport. But most of the rumours of his prowess are based on an urban myth which has him trying out for New York Yankees. [4] As for him being born in Honduras.... what?--Zleitzen 10:21, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
I thought it was the Washington Senators. User:Zoe|(talk) 04:48, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
Cincinnati Reds would have made more sense. Although actually in the 1950s the Reds briefly changed their name to the Redlegs to avoid being confused with those other Reds... Herostratus 06:40, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
Maybe he was holding out for the team to change its name to the "Cincinnati Agrarian Reformers." Edison 02:13, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Well. This is taking sockpuppets to a whole new level.

[5]

[edit] From French Fries

They kill people, don't eats some greezy food.

- (Editor's note: Hey, as long as we have a reference to Heinz, we might as well put some reference to french fries in here)

[edit] From Hannah Montana

[edit] Cookies make you healthy,

[edit] carrots make you sad.

[edit] Put some brownies in my belly,

[edit] they make me very glad.

[edit]  :)

[edit] High Velocity Energy Cable

A High Velocity Energy Cable (HVEC) is a multipurpose cable designed to act as either a very fast network cable, or as a "wildcard" cable which can act as any other cable with the help of an adaptor. High Velocity Energy Cable's also come in a programmable version (PHVEC) which is capable of translating between cable types.

File:Main hvec small.jpg
A Programmable High Velocity Energy Cable

[edit] Types of HVEC

There are two types of HVEC, Standard HVEC, and Programmable HVEC (PHVEC). Standard HVEC can be used for HVEC Networking and as a wildcard cable. PHVEC can also be used to translate between different cable types. All HVEC's require adaptors to allow them to plug in to other cable types (except for HVEC Networking). Standard HVEC's are orange in colour, whilst Programmable HVEC's are silver in colour.

[edit] HVEC Networking

File:NetHVEC.jpg
Net-HVEC logo

HVEC's have their own standard for networking, called Net-HVEC, which is capable of speeds up to 1 terabit. Net-HVEC doesn't require any adaptors, but it does require equipment that supports Net-HVEC. Currently, such devices are rare; however their numbers are growing. Net-HVEC is becoming more popular as network backbone infrastructure due to its speed and vector based digital reciprocal error correction And detection projection methods.

[edit] How a HVEC works

Diagram of a High Velocity Energy Cable

A HVEC has a HVEC microchip at each end of the cable. These microchips handle the network error correction, and the signal translation tasks.

In Net-HVEC mode the microchip only has to deal with error correction; each Microchip handles the data it receives coming in to its end of the cable.

In Standard HVEC adaptor mode, the microchips remain virtually unused, as the adaptors convert the native cable signal to HVEC signal and vice versa. Standard HVEC adaptor mode requires the adaptors at both end of the cable to be the same.

In Programmable HVEC adaptor mode, the microchips perform signal translation. For example, if you have an IDE hard drive that you wish to use a USB drive, you would connect the USB adaptor to one end (end 1) and the IDE adaptor to the other end (end 2). After programming the PHVEC with the relevant information it will use the PHVEC Translation Processing Modules of the PHVEC Microchip to perform signal translations. Signals coming from the IDE hard drive will be read by the IDE adaptor and translated into HVEC-IDE Hybrid Signal which will be read by the end 2 PHVEC Microchip and converted into USB-HVEC Hybrid Signal, which will be sent down the PHVEC cable and be read by the end 1 PHVEC Microchip and passed on to the USB Adaptor. The USB will convert the HVEC-USB hybrid signal into USB signal and will send it along the USB cable to the PC. This process works in more or less the same way for signals travelling from the PC to the IDE hard drive except that the End 1 PHVEC Microchip does the translating. The Microchip that didn't translate the signal reads it at the other end for purposes of keeping track of the signals being sent for Quality Assurance And Best Effort Signal Pre-Determination Efficiency Approach Combination Matching.

[edit] Programming a HVEC

File:PHVEC Util.GIF
PHVEC Programming Utility

Programmable High Velocity Energy Cables need to know what type of adaptor and device is on each end of the cable so that it can translate the signals corrctly. PHVEC's have a cross-platform programming utility which allows it to be programmed.

[edit] Older Versions

The current version of HVEC is version 3, which supports 1 terabit per second data transfer and is identifiable by its silver plugs. Version 2 supported 50 gigabit per second data transfer and had black plugs. Version 1 supported 10 gigabit per second data transfer and had green plugs.

[edit] Other information

HVEC's are only sold by certain suppliers, mainly due to their cost, which is approximately US$2000 for a HVEC and US$4000 for a PHVEC. They all come with manuals and every adaptor available at the time of purchase, whilst PHVEC's also come with a programming utility. They can all be flashed to comply with the latest adaptors.

[edit] External links

[edit] From Talk:Orange

[edit] Unflattering Picture of a Sectioned Orange

I think this picture is unflattering if not disgusting. Who would want to eat an orange after seeing that picture? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it were inserted by somebody in the apple industry (known to be unscrupulous) or somebody with an extreme dislike of oranges. A picture that unflattering does not occur by mistake and I'm quite certain there is an agenda behind it. I know that this page is meant to be informative and not pro-orange, but that picture is treading into the dangerous territory of being anti-orange. I'm not saying that we should use the most flattering picture of a sectioned orange available on the 'net, but surely a compromise can be reached. I nominate that it be removed or changed in favor of a more neutral picture. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 216.164.60.98 (talkcontribs)

Yes this is clearly a far-malus conspiracy to drive down orange sales among the compulsive wikipedia browsing population. Please take whatever action you feel is necessary to restore the vital balance of presentation so that the prolitariate may once again rejuice. - JustinWick 19:01, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
I think the picture is acceptable, and I think it is difficult for a picture to be neutral. Note that the same IP address also believes that oranges do not grow on trees WLU 19:03, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
I do not think you truely grasp the extent to which apple fans will go to sabotage their competition. I hereby declare that all images of oranges on Wikipedia should be examined for NPOVness. 216.164.60.98, why don't you get on this ASAP? - JustinWick 21:28, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
WLU - That is disingenuous and a complete misrepresentation of anything I've ever posted. Of course oranges grow on trees. I have a lot of knowledge and experience regarding oranges. I simply made the point that there are those who remain unconvinced - and those people do exist. If you don't think that's worth noting, then fine, I can live with that. But that's not really what we're talking about right now. Anyhow, if I can find a more flattering picture do you really mind if I change it? JustinWick sees exactly what I am talking about. I am not about to accuse you of being the person who posted the offending picture or of being involved in the apple industry, but my antenna is up. Cheers!—The preceding unsigned comment was added by 216.164.60.98 (talkcontribs) 04:09, January 24, 2007.

[edit] Sandford green

This is the the entire article as of today: Quadzilla99 11:42, 24 January 2007 (UTC)

Sandford Green is a street at the heart of the Market Town of Banbury. It is characterised by the unusual setting of the houses when compared with other early housing projects of the 1960’s. All houses were built in a horseshoe shape beginning and ending on the road coming into the street. Sandford Green actually consists of 3 small greens placed around the one larger green in the centre.


It was in the late 1980s and early 1990’s that a group of kids became what is now known as the ‘Sandford Green Golden Generation’. Never had the Green seen such a wealth of sporting talent, several amazing games were inspired by the youngsters. Street tennis flourished with its rules using no net and curbs for lines, Speedball a game that mixed Rugby and American football which used only 1 scoring zone and extreme tacking and scrimmaging, 3 and in football, finals, green cricket with its short boundaries and fast scoring and of course this culminated in the 1992 Sandford Green Olympics which coincided with Barcelona Olympics of the same year. All track events were covered, 100m to 1500m, relays, shot-put, discus, javelin, bike events, marathon, judo, football, iron man, triple jump, long jump – all carefully planned with medal ceremonies to culminate in the greatest sporting extravaganza the Green had ever seen. Carl dominated all the throwing events, and Adam performed well in the track but it was the combined effort of the 4 X 100m relay that united the Green.


The original Sandford Green fledglings were always known as Ryan, Adam, Carl, Ben, Scott, Danny and Tony.

The Sandford Green All-stars also played a pivotal role in the eventual peace treaty with the Trinity Clan and were regarded as war heroes among the street they lived. Since 1988 the Sandford Green Alliance had been at War with the Trinity clan with Trinity park effectively being no mans land for both factions. Stones were the main weapons used by both sides and both sides suffered many causalities. The War effectively ended and a truce agreed after the Great Battle of 1993 now referred to as the Battle of Morris. Key Sandfordarians Adam and Ryan were present at the signing of the treaty and to this day future generations of Sandfordarians and Trinity parkites pay tribute to what was sacrificed for them

The Battle of Morris was a final clash fought in 1993 by the Sandfordarians and the Parkites which eventually led to the peace treaty being signed. It was the first time key leaders Ryan and Adam introduced Advanced Tactical Systems (ATS) which ultimately led to victory. Sandfordarians access to Trinity Park was through a narrow alleyway at the top section of the Green, the Parkites actually resided at the upper end of the park and had key access to the many walkways and paths that spread over the whole territory. Although with limited entry to the park for the Sandfordarians it was the excellent use and key understanding of the trees and undergrowth near their point of entry which also pushed them toward victory. During quiet times, several key ‘bases’ were created along the front line. These were hidden from the enemy using natural camouflage and there were also large amounts of stones stored there for times of extreme confrontation. Sandfordarians even suspended boards in the trees also with a supply of stones to allow various points of attack, being stationed there was very risky. Any breach of the front line meant that they were extremely exposed but they played a huge part in the war effort.

The war had raged for many years with the last 2 being more intense and bloody. The Sandford Green ‘family’ called a meeting as to how to end the war quickly and with the right result. Adam and Ryan then put forward a plan which would take 6 weeks to set up but would be executed over 1 day. The mission was codenamed ‘Slimer’ and the Battle of Morris was born.

The Battle of Morris happened on a hot summer’s day in the break of 1993. The 6 weeks planning needed the Sandford Green commando unit to secure 2 critical points, William Morris and Powys Grove. Sandfordarians had secured the passage to William Morris which ran along side the main area of no mans land after a bloody battle. In this area they planned a key attack strategy never before used. A single base was established and stones stored as usual but these stones were handpicked to be easily carried over a long distance. A further unit was placed parallel to this on the other side of the Sandfordarians front line near to Powys grove which had also been recently secured almost easily after the Parkites scrambled reinforcements to try and hold the already surrendered William Morris. Troops were placed at both of these bases, with the main command unit of Adam, Ryan and Ben holding a central position. The ATS introduced was ground breaking and for the first time a collated attack plan could be put in place, the ATS was that of a 2 way radio. Over the 6 week planning period, detailed schematics had been drawn of the layout of the Parkites territory and also William Morris and Powys Grove. It would be these plans which would now decide the fate of the war. Several attack plans had been drawn up and it was the plan codenamed ‘The Crab’ which was finalised and chosen. From the Command centre Ryan gave the order that squad teams from Morris base and Powys base were to load up weapons and prepare to make there was to the battle points. Morris brigade had a long journey along the perimeter of Trinity to avoid detection and were then to set up base and hold in the easterly corner of the field. Several dry runs had been done over the 6 week period allowing the command unit to know exactly how long the journey would take. A lookout in the main base confirmed with binoculars they were in place. Adam and Ryan then shook hands for what could have been the final time, with all resources utilised, Ryan was to take lead of the Powys unit and Adam was to lead the depleted central unit.

The Powys grove section were then instructed to move forward to the attack point, they carried with them one of the radios as the unusual layout of the adjacent pathway made it impossible for a visual conformation that they were in place. The unit stayed in constant contact with the main command centre, updating their position and estimated time of arrival at the attack point. Once in place high in the Trinity Park area, Ryan contacted Adam to advise they were in place and operation Slimer was ready to be executed. During the time that both teams had set off to arrive at the attack points, several small combat units were set-up along the front line to bombard the Parkites. It was vital that the Parkites were not to know that the Sandfordarians forces were stretched, if they had realised the operation would have failed and 2 sections would have been cut off from their only re-entry point to the green. However it had succeeded, both teams await the ‘go’ from base and at 1445 the execute command was given.

The first stage was for the Sandfordarians to draw the parkites from the Park its self, they did this by slowly with withdrawing forces from the central unit. Adam had joined the forces and gave updates to the Powys unit as to the position of the Parkites on the battlefield. Slowly over 30 minutes the Parkites assumed that they were forcing the Sandfordarians back and they decided to push on and walk across no mans land. Stones rained down over the park as the Parkites pushed forward, Adam held the teams back, he needed the Parkites to be in a position which would not let them retreat to the Park. At 1550 Adam advised the central teams to stop withdrawing and spread again across the front line, the command to attack was given. Powys attacked with ferocity and speed, a lookout from the Morris brigade gave the signal to go and as their brothers had just done, they attacked with vigour and bravery. Immediately the Parkites were in trouble, many of their men fell in the early exchanges as the claw of the Sandfordarians crab closed in on the Parkites troops. The main unit hidden by trees took easy pickings as the Parkites men were forced into them, into the very trees and undergrowth that they had specialised training in. The commander and chief then bolted from his main pack knowing that they were in serious danger. Ryan and Adam went in pursuit, chasing up through the streets and finally at the William Morris mount they captured the commander, he expected death but instead a treaty was offered. Adam and Ryan explained it could not go on, that peace must prevail and by 1630 hours the treaty was agreed and signed by both sides. From then on no mans land was home to only sporting clashes, football was played amongst the very people who had been sworn enemies.


As the generation grew older and moved away, Sandford Green seemed to lose its heart and soul. The roads were empty, the green was quiet and not a game was played or made on the green of dreams. Many of the Golden generation return to see family who have remained there, but all agree that the Green has never seen and probably never will have a repeat of the Golden Generation that walked these streets.

[edit] Um, yeah.

{{Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Bishzilla}}

[edit] From Simo Häyhä

When Häyhä died, doctors found a Gameshark on his person.

After his death, Häyhä revived as a horned demon, and released his first studio album under the name, Lordi.

[edit] From Macarron Chacarron

"Macarron Chacarron"
Single by El Chombo
Released October 14, 1066
Format Stone Disc Wheel
Recorded 1066
Genre Medieval
Label Hastings Records

[edit] You Should Appreciate Your GIrlfriend While She's Alive

'Wikipedia Moderators, With the advent of Wikipedia people took it upon themselves to edit it. And it keeps me from making cool articles. Free the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =P =P =P =P Yousa. Me Jarjar binks. This is a prime example of what should be deleted so keep it on asw an example. Movies that rule The Big Lebowski Star wars not 1-3 The mman who fell to earth braveheart lucitania You Should Appreciate Your Girlfriend While She Is Still Alive CHACHACHACHACHACHACAHCHAH cuckcaaaw, cuckcaaw

[edit] P Chromosome

Also known' as the PUNK chromosome, the P chromosome allows usually normal people to endure the grueling tempo and chaotic sounds of punk. This is a newly developed gene found in people from the 1970s and onward. The P chromosome is a direct counter part to the hating of mainstream culture and it delves deeply into ones mind. The P Chromosome is also known to be one of the most rebellious chromosomes, as it has only been isolated in a very few test subjects. While X and Y are usual chromosomes, P is becoming more prevalent in the youth of the world. The effects of the P chromosome are still wholly unclear, it has been known to last for generations, but for some, the X coupled with another X or Y chromosome, overpower the P chromosome. Research is still fairly new to this chromosome, so updates will be added as research is released. -- Written by Jack Andrew

[edit] Santa is a pirate

santa is a reformed pirate... i mean, santa has big black boots and gos "ho ho ho" while a pirate gos "yo ho ho". Santa has a loot sack, pirates have loot sacks. And to top it off santa breaks into your house and leaves things. Pirates tat are not reformed break into your house to steal things. There... you got your proof that santa is a pirate.

[edit] Greenja

What are you thinking? This isn't even anything. Or at least I doubt it is. What would Greenja be anyway? Leave now. Please.

[edit] Wyatt Boykin

Wyatt Boykin was credited as the first human-owl hybrid. Born in 1862 in Atlanta, Georgia, Wyatt was originally used by the Union Army as a ploy to entrap Confederate soldiers into surrendering. After the war, Boykin went into hiding. It is believed that he is still alive, and stationed in Mexico. There is no definitive information on the matter


Please don't block me for adding a 58th item to "57 varieties. I promise I'll be good.

[edit] From Can Bears Run Downhill?

No. No, they can't.

[edit] Valencia Grape

[edit] History

The Valencia Grape is a grape first created by the Alaskan agronomist William Mhaille, on his farm in Fairbanks. This special kind of grape prospers in the cold, fertile Alaskan soil (or other such climates). The grape was later sold to the Irvine Company, who would dedicate nearly half of their land to its cultivation. The success of this crop in Central Alaska led to large amounts of research and development. It was later discovered that when properly utilized, this grape conducts and in some cases stores electrical energy for very short periods of time. Although these grape-batteries are impractical, the discovery was said to be important in indentifying new energy sources. Continually rising property taxes in Fairbanks, Alaska caused Mr. Mhaille to shut down his farm and move it to North Dakota. Later, during the Grape Depression, he was further forced to sell his Grape Farm altogether. Today, the Valencia Grape has been modified to grow in a variety of warmer climates, and has a moderate popularity in the wine community.

[edit] Uses

Its thick skin and slightly bitter taste make this grape more adaquate for wine use rather than eating.

Although mainly a table grape, the Valencia Grape is available for purchase in certain areas of the country. The Valencia Grape's unusually thick skin allow it to survive harsher climates. It's bitter taste is attributed to it's abnormally high acid content, which aids in the grapes battery-like properties.


[edit] References

Researchers fire Valencia Grapes from Ray Gun in outer space to kill terrorists, Sky News 2007

:Category:Citrus

ja:バレンシアオレンジ

[edit] Mary Alice Williams

Mary Alice Williams gave birth to a fat daughter Alice Haefeli on January 6th, 1990 who remarkably resembles Princess Fiona. She continued to work until she gave birth to twins, Sara and Laura in 1992. Their names were changed to Patty and Selma because, let's be honest, that's who they look like. She did commercials for Nynex phone company for awhile, and she did sparatic speeches and things. She had a television show "Religion Ethics News Weekly" and was on the Hallmark channel. In 2003 she started working at WCBS 880, a radio station. She also did a health watch segment on Discovery channel. She continues to do both. She now writes for Katie Couric on the CBS evening news. Everyone hates her though, because she is a really big bitch. Her newest and most favorite job is balancing three jobs with taking care of her three teenage heffers(not to mention maintaining an incredible pair of tig ole' bitties).

[edit] The Great Stink

Lorelai is packing Paul Anka's stuff and Chris is sitting there in bordom. They are disagreeing on how much Lorelai should pack for Paul Anka when he goes over to Chris's house to spend the night. Chris thinks the dog is stressed. Lorelai is overpacking for Paul Anka and packing things he does not need. Lorelai explains to Chris he must call for him/Paul Anka in hushed tones. They forget Paul Anka when they head to Chris's place and then they go back five seconds later and get him.

Rory gets out of the elevator and answers her cell phone. She picks it up and its Logan saying she needs to go up on the roof to see the meteor shower, he convinces her to go up on the roof. She gets on the roof and there Logan is on the roof, SHe runs into his arms and they hug. He tells her to shutup so he can kiss her. There was no metorshower because her tricked her into coming on the roof to see him. Rory asks why he is there and he says for a nuisness trip that he says is to short. He leaves the next day at 10. He makes a nice platter of wine and cheese that Rory loves. Rory is so happy he is there and they start to kiss then she opens the wine and runs to him and they hug.

Lorelai is fooligna round with Chris's T.V. He says GiGi got to the end of Cinderella almost. Chris says he has something to tell her that Sherry mailed him and asked to see GiGi. He claims they got divorced and Sherry is dating some Yoga Instructor. Lorelai wonders why Chris waited two days to share it with him, and then she says Thanks for showing it to her and Chris says your welcome. They are in ewach others arms and they start to watch the movie and make there commintary.

Rory and Logan are on the roof saying they are so happy cuddling on the bed on the roof. Logan says he is tired off not being around her. And Rory agree's about him. They are having a very nice discussion. Rory cant believe he is there and that he is leaving so soon. Rory says fruit flys can live up to a month. They start having a random conversation. Logan starts saying that this business company is not going to give there website over just from a good breakfast. Logan says he hopes to make them happy because they worked there buts off. Rory start s to mock Logan and he asks her if she is and she says yes and they start to laugh. They start to kiss and make out.

Rory is in bed and calls for Logan. Logan says its 6 and she should go back to bed, she tells him to come back and he says he has to go for his pre-breakfast and Rory asks why because she thought he was going to the pitch but he says this is a pre-breakfast to get ready for the pitch . She calls him a work dork and he tells her to admits he likes that he's a work dork and she does and they kiss. Rory pulls him back and he says he needs both arms for the pitch and he goes to kiss her but pulls away and Rory says thats not fare and he was teasing her and then they laugh and he leaves.

Lorelai and Sookie and Michel all notice that the town smalls awful, it smells like pickles. They try to open the window but its worse. Lorelai wants to go out to try and get the news on whats going on so she does. Michel wants to wait till she gets to the end of the block to see if she lasts but Sookie decides they will go with her.

Lorelai is talking to Kirk and asks why everybody is heading one place and Kirk says Taylor called an emergency town meeting. Taylor says it is a pickle smell, Babbete and Patty say they are dying. Taylor says there was a train of pickles that fell off the track and he dosent want to pay for it so it stunk up the town because the wind picked up and threw the smell all over the town. The town is mad Talyor isen't paying for the pickles to be picked up. He says the pickles are from Ohio and that they are on the Woodbridge sidf so they shouldent have to pay and the town decides to pay to get the pickles up and much to Talyors detest they end up paying for it.

Lorelai is at the playground with GiGi and Chris. Lor is happy because she is in a place where it doesn't smell like pickles. Chris says and yells to GiGi to make her put her skirt down. Chris says Sherry called this morning and her and GiGi talked with her for about a half and hour and how Sherry really wants GiGi to come to Paris to see her and how she is really sorry she dumped them. Chris says he will send GiGi to Paris with the 25 year old Nany. Lor asks Chris if thats really what he wants and he says yes.

Rory, Paris and Bill are talking. Paris and Bill are fighting over who should be in charge while Rory is out of town. Bill can't understand why Rory could possibly consider Paris taking over. Bill says he and Paris should go to his desk when Rory's cell rings. Paris deos not want to but does.

Logan calls Rory. He sold the website, he is so excited. He asks her to come to the dinner tonight and he is very extatic and he tells her to go home and get a dress to wear and he will pick her up and she says yes and then hangs up.

Michel is talking to somebody on the phone and Lorelai trys to come threw the door but its hard and she is yelling for help and Michel comes to her rescue. Lor goes into the kitchen and she can't smell the awful pickles anymore because Sookie smoked the kitchen out of the bad smell. Sookie says she will make Lor a sandwhich but Lor says she is fine. She says no thanks because she filled up on lunchables with Chris and GiGi. Lor tells Sookie that Sherry mailed Chris to see GiGi again. Sookie goes on how is she the ex-wife Sherry, and how she dumped her and she doesent deserve it. Lor says she would only eat her vegetables if they were fizzy and in soda style. Rory calls Lor and they talk about how the pickle train derailed and they have a quirky conversation. Rory tells Lor how Logan is in town and how she is going to have to skip on Friday Night Dinner. Rory tells her she is going to Manhattan to have dinner with Logan before he has to leave for London again. Lor starts the phone conversation over again because she dosent like where its going.

Rory is at the restaurant and gives her jacket to the attendant. Rory finds Logan and they kiss and have a conversation. Logan brings her to the table and meets his co-workers. She finds out Bobby is a woman. She is threatened by him. They start having a great conversation. Bobby tells Rory that Logan has talked her ear off about Rory. Rory says she is practically Van-Goughless with her ear gone about how much she has talked about him. Bobby says Rory must be parched and they order some champagne.

Lor and Chris are in the car and Chris puts on some bad music and Lor deosent like it anbd Chris says his car his rules. Chris says they should have a weekend just for themselves. Lor says the ice hotel where everything is ice and she goes off on how great it is. Chris wants to got Bermuda, he says they should go to the ice hotel first and then defrost and then go to Bermuda twice, 2 weeks one time and two weeks another. Chris says they should do it when GiGi goes to Paris to see Sherry. Lor goes quiet and Chris asks why. Lor starts to say how he should put more thougt into it and they should really think about this and they should not send GiGi to Paris. Chris says Lor is threatened by Sherry and that is why she doesn't want GiGi to go to Paris. They ring the doorbell and Emily yells for Richard to come and see them.

Rory is at the restaurant while Logan and the co-workers are going off on how Bobby was so assertive at the meeting. They ask her to get up and renact how she got up and and told the people at the meetinfg that the meeting was over. Bobby gets up and does the walk and as she says she only did it to make them be quite, they love it and they start laughing. Rory and Bobby talk and Bobby says she and Logan are so adorable. Logan asks Rory if she thinks Bobby is hilarious. Bobby leaves.

Richard is talking about some random thing. Emily laughs and says something. Lorelai and Chris both say they like the salad. Lorelai asks Richard how his midterms was because Emily asked her to and he says it was amazing. Chris tells Emily how he likes the lamb chops because Emily asked him if he did. Emily and Richard like how Chris and Lorelai are there together at dinner and they should play tennis with each other now that they are a foursome. Emily and Richard go on how the tennis outfits are awful on this one woman at the club and how her skirt is way to short. The lamb comes and Emily asks Chris if he likes lamb and he says yes but he used to not like it but some things "change" and thats why he like sit now. Richard proposes a toast to Chris and Lorelai being together and it only took 21 years to get this far but now they are together. Emily and Richard talk about how Lorelai and Chris accidentally opened a ten year old bottle of wine by accident that Richard had been saving when they wer younger. Lorelai asks Chris to go in the bathroom and they talk about how Lorelai understands how Chris is upset about Lorelai criticizing Sherry for dumping GiGi and how Chris felt Lorelai was criticizing him because he left Rory, but she says Sherry being a grown woman is different then Chris being a sixteen year old boy and leaving Rory. Chris gets upset and tells Lorelai thanks for telling him how he feels.

Logan and Rory walk out of the restaurant and Logan asks Rory if she is tired and she says no, he asks her fi he wants the car to come and pick her up and she says no and that she will be fine. Rorry tells Logan she thought it was just going to be her and Logan at the dinner that night. . SHe says she thought is was just going to be her and Logan. Rory says Bobby was a girl and she did not know that until about 3 hours ago that Bobby was a woman, she is threatned by her because nobody asked her any questions all evening. Rory says Bobby called Logan and her adorable and thats not what you call a couple, thats what you call a Full House re-run. She says Bobby is in America and she should not say Lou because she should speak English. Rory doesn't like how she is being this way and she hates how Bobby can stand up at a moments notice and her professionally tweezed eyebrows. Logan says that is a long speech just to say I miss you and Rory asks him if he has anyhting to add and he says "I miss you to Ace." She says "just five words, just five words and that all you can say." And then they kiss.

Emily and Richard are talking while Chris and Lorelai are just sitting there. Chris says to Lorelai that she should go to Paris with him. Emily asks Richard if he gave Chris Sherry by accident and how thye were being pleasent all evening and now this. Lorelai asks what the dessert is and Emily says Apple Crisp and that she just told her like five minutes ago. The doorbell rings and Rory comes in and she asks if she is late. Richard says no. Lorelai brings out her digital camera of the pictures when Emily was arrested and Richard goes over by Lorelai, Rory and Chris to see them and much to Emily's detest he see's them, they say they made her wear a striped shirt with a number on it with the balls hanging from the chains on her feet as Christopher said and Emily scolded him for saying that and Rory, Lorelai and Chris start laughing up a storm including Richard from seeing the pictures. Chris,Rory and Lorelai are driving home and Chris keeps flipping the channels on the radio station and they keep on saying no at the same time because the songs are bad until they finally pick one. Chris was laughing the entier time when he new they were bad songs but he wanted to see what they said.

[edit] From Rosie O'Donnell

[edit] Autobiography

[edit] Mojtaba seyedin

he is a ho.i hate him,he stole my money,he wont buy me a hundai,he wontpay child support or spousal,what a ho!!!,and worst of all he wont buy me a hundai



resources:my brain cuz i hav hundai!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&&*()_

Somebody is obviously angry at her (ex-)husband

[edit] Latualatuka

please don't read this! In 1945,a young girl named katu lata kulu came over to America in a grey boat from Africa. A mysterious man killed her by cutting the word "LATUALATUKA" into her back. now that you have read this measge she will come to your house on a full moon and steal your soul unless you follow these directions: 1. Retype this message as a comment for three other videos

[edit] Foil blocking

i love miself sooooooooooo much i wanna hav SEX with miself

[edit] From goatse.cx

File:Goatse.JPG
The infamous Goatse picture


[edit] Be careful what you wish for, especially in AfDs

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MC Dope:

Fine. if it makes you feel any more superior, delete the page. Go on, just do it. cuz thats all you can do. i tried reasoning with you but you had to act like a bitch. so do what you want to do, ok, cuz i dont give a shit anymore of what your decision is. Whatever i say is not gonna change it. i already see how many of you say "delete" so there is no more of a point to argue in said argument... —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mcdope_2x (talkcontribs)

  • Does the above count towards G7 - author requests deletion? Natalie 03:52, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Amazing Race 13

Team Relationship Position (by leg)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Flo and Zach Friends 10th 6th 7th 7th 4th 5th 5th 4th 1st 2nd 2nd 1st 1st
Teri and Ian Married 3rd 1st 1st 4th 2nd 6th 2nd 3rd 2nd 1st 3rd 3rd 2nd
Ken and Gerard Brothers 11th 5th 8th 8th 7th 4th 1st 2nd 4th 3rd 1st 2nd 3rd
Derek and Drew Twins 1st 10th 9th 6th 5th 3rd 4th 5th 3rd 4th 4th
John Vito and Jill Dating 7th 4th 3rd 3rd 3rd 2nd 3rd 1st 5th 5th
Andre and Damon Cop and Fireman 5th 3rd 2nd 5th 6th 1st 6th

[edit] An edit to Comet

Revision to the article about the dog on Full House

[edit] From Koala

A close relative of the koala, is the Drop-bear (phascolarctos cinereus extremis), it is much like the koala, only three times larger, they have distinctive large gripping talons and forearms; very sensitive to sound, they are named for propensity to become disoriented and fall upon parties of noisy unsuspecting tourists. The injuries caused as drop-bears frantically attempt to secure a hold on the torsos of their victims are quite horrific and their images have been suppressed by the Australian Government. Tourists are advised to wear crash-helmets when in the vicinty of eucalypts. They are known to be particularly aggravated by the tones and cadence of the North American accent.

[edit] From Robert Plant

Robert Anthony Plant (born August 20, 1948, Bromwich, West Midlands, England) is an English rock singer, most famous for his 12 inch penis and membership in the rock band Led Zeppelin,

[edit] From Will It Blend?

One fan even requested magnets, and the blender reduced Neodymium Magnets to dust and supposedly reversed the Earth's polarity.

[edit] Fuck The Earth Day

Fuck the Earth Day is the name of a satirical holiday observance celebrated on April 25th of each year. Fuck the Earth Day is intended to inspire both a disgust and and appreciation for how pathetic the earth has become. It is believed by those who observe the day, that there are many other celestial bodies of great interest, none of which have been worn down by a human population. The holiday is intended primarily to mock Earth Day's superfluousness. FTE Day can be celebrated in many different ways[2].

"The Earth is like a landlord who just wont pay to keep up the place."
--Unknown[3]

[edit] History

Fuck the Earth Day was started in early 2007. According to its founders, Thomas Gilray and James Dearing, it was inspired by an episode of the Daily Show[4] when the host Jon Stewart declared april 25th "Fuck the Earth Day"[5][6]. The first offical observance of the holiday will be April 25th, 2007. Though it has been celebrated many times before by groups of individuals, the first attempt to organize under the tenets of specific ideas and practices is being made in 2007.

[edit] Interesting Points, and Background

Earth Day symbol

The symbol for Fuck the Earth Day is a red slash over a green theta symbol. The green theta is the international symbol of Earth Day, widely known as the opposite of Fuck the Earth Day.

[edit] References

  1. Noel Gallagher angry ot Green Day
  2. "Fuck the Earth Day T-Shirts" visited on 1-28-07.
  3. "Fuck the Earth Day Group". URL accessed January 28, 2007.
  4. "Daily Show - Earth Day Commentary" Page visited on 1-29-07.
  5. "The Daily Show - Wikiquote" Visited on 1-29-07.
  6. "The Daily Show - Earth Day" Page visited on 1-29-07.

[edit] The Observance

Those celebrating the holiday typically try to burn as much fuel and throw away as much Styrofoam as possible on April 25th. The point of Fuck the Earth Day is to show the earth who's boss. The Observance of Fuck the Earth Day includes a celebration of the earth's resources coupled with the exploitation of those resources. The idea that the earth is not doing it job very well is at the heart of the observance, and many activities which promote this ideas are part of the ritual. Movements to promote exploration into outerspace with programs such as SETI and NASA are widely supported by practitioners of Fuck the Earth Day. The idea that mankind should leave earth behind in the future is a large part of the FTE (Fuck the Earth) ideology.

[edit] History

Fuck the Earth Day was started in early 2007. According to its founders, Thomas Gilray and James Dearing, it was inspired by an episode of the Daily Show. The first observance of the holiday will be April 25th, 2007.

[edit] References

[edit] Skippy Doo

Skippy Doo is a fictional dog out of Scooby Doo and all related "Scooby Doo" shows. Skippy Doo is Scooby Doo's brother. He is a scientist specializing in dog mysteries.

[edit] His life story

Skippy Doo was born Skippy Doobert Doo at Knittingham Puppy farm, Coolsville Ohio.

[edit] Comet McNaught: Comets have a sex life?

The coment is one of only a tiny number of observed comets known to be homosexual.

[edit] From User:Azer Red/ED discussion page

8==========B- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -*>_@ ow u got cum in my eye fucking prick

Since ancient times, Man has sought to penetrate his fellow man. The march of sodomization has done little to quell this need. Governments have outlawed violence at their own penile. Since 1969, we have brought men together to fight like Gentlemen: with knuckles, muscles, and wits. Three days, three acres, three thousand dildogs, three thousand men, three thousand dicks, six thousand ballz. Only one will win The Great Outdoor Frot. Hey, this feels nice of the nice

   * Hall of Shampoos
         o
           WHERE IS MY MARLBORO MAN
   * WHERE IS MY LONELY RANGER
   * WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE???
   * Cowboy
   * Why Is My Life So Empty?
   * Why are Muslims are a threat to Western society
   * WHAT THE HELL IS A DILDOG ANYWAY? 

Niggerbomb Splash

   * Discussion: Paula Cole's armpit hair
         o Do you find women with armpit hair more or less sexually attractive y/n
         o Do you find women with armpit hair more or less sexually attractive y
               + y
               + y
               + n :( 
   * Whose fault is this?
         o y
               + o
                     # u
                           * r
                                 o
                                       + f
                                             # a
                                                   * u
                                                         o l
                                                               + t 

What the fuck is a Breeder Chomo Nig?


Faaaaat niggerZ!

Faaaaat niggerZ!

Faaaaat niggerZ! Faaaaat niggerZ! Faaaaat niggerZ! Faaaaat niggerZ! Faaaaat niggerZ!

History of the Great Outdoor Dildog

Christina loved Nattelie’s pussy, especially when it is fresh fucked and oozing cum. For some reason cum tasted better from Nattalies pussy then from Rob’s dick. Christina remembers the first time she tasted cum, it wasn’t from a boy but from her dog. It wasn’t the same as people cum, it was thinner but just as tasty and always left her mouth tingling. She wondered what dog cum would taste like lapinging it from Nattalie’s pussy. Even though she and Nattalie were best of friends, she didn’t know if Nattallie would let a dog fuck her. She decided to ask anyway.

      It was a thrill when she broached the subject with Nattalie and

Christina found out that her girl friend had fucked a dog several times and liked it. Nattalie explained that the only problem was when you let the dog in to deep and his dick knot went inside your pussy. Then it would be a little while after the dog came that he could pull his dick out. Both girls agreed that to get fresh cum, it was important to have the dogs dick pull out just after climax.

      Nattalies boyfriend Tim had a male short haired collie, and she

explained to him what Christina and her had in mind. Tim thought it was a great idea and since it was his dog, he wanted to watch. When Rob learned about the plan he also wanted to be there to watch, jack off and maybe blow his load into Christina’s ass as she was sucking the dog cum. Rob loved fucking Christina in the ass and many times he and Time would double fuck Christina or Nattalie. Christinas ass was better, she had a way of controlling her asshole muscles in such a way that your dick simply was pumped dry every time.

      They agreed to have a get together at Tim’s place on Thursday

when Tim’s parents were at the Golf Coarse. Natalie and Christina came over with Rick and the four of them proceed to the den where Jason, Tim’s dog was waiting.

      It was a quick removal of the clothes and straight to business.

Christina rolled the dog over and took his dick in her mouth pumping him to hardness. Nattalie made herself comfortable on the floor, spread her legs and started finger fucking herself to get nice and juicy. When the girls and the dog were ready, Nattalie assumed the “Doggie Position” and Christina had Jason mount Nattalie and guided his dick into Natallies pussy. Christina immediately went under Nattalie and positioned her head next to Natalie pussy with the dog dick inserted. She kept a firm grip on the dogs dick knot so that it wouldn’t penetrate Nattalie.

      Rob and Tim stood over the girls with their raging hardons in

their hands stroking at a slow but steady speed. Jason was humping at a furious speed and in a flash he was finished. Christina pulled his dripping dick from Nattalies wet pussy and let the white dog cum drip right into her mouth. She then made oral love to Nattalie’s pussy extracting every bit of dog and girl love juice. Her face was a glazed mess of dog cum and pussy juice when she looked up to Rob and asked him if he licked it. Nattalie wanting some taste herself, French kissed Christina and licked off the remaining juice from Christina’s face.

      Now it was the boys turn to have a taste of cum. they assumed

the sideways 69 position and the girls helped them put each others dicks in their mouth. with the girls faces adjacent to the boys, the boys they proceeded to milk each others dicks to orgasm.

      Both Christina and Nattalie loved watching a boy suck cum

and then French kissing their lovers cum filled mouths when done. The taste was always great and the picture erotic. When Rick exploded into Tim’s mouth Nattalie was there to share the load, and vica versa with Christina.

      Christina never lets a boy fuck her in the ass unless he had a

rubber on. It’s a waste of cum. That way the boy gets to orgasm in her ass and she gets to taste the juice from the rubber. So when Jason the dog was getting frisky again she had Nattalie put a rubber on the dogs dick and present Christina’s ass to the mutt. This time they let the dog go all the way in and penetrate his knot past Christina’s asshole. This was a new and erotic experience for Christina as her ass was now plugged tight. Jason blew his load, Christina and Jason were locked together as Nattalie decided to do a double penetration with the boys while waiting to taste the dog cum from the rubber. Christina watched, with the dog dick in her ass as Nattalie milked cum from the buys using both of her holes. Rob had the rubber on and his dick had the pleasure of Nattalies ass. When he came he offered the loaded rubber to Nattalie who greedily devoured it’s contents. When Tim deposited his load in her pussy, Rob went down to clean out his friends tasty load. By the time they were finished, Jason’s dick slipped from Christina’s ass with a dog cum loaded rubber on his shrinking dick. Christina decided that the boys would get this load and offered it to first to Rob who took some and then the rest to Tim who took the last drops from the rubber.

      It was great being fully bi-sexual and having fully bi-sexual male

friends. Ever Since Christina started dating ( before the movie Addams Family ) Christina knew that she loved sex with both boys and girls, and dogs.

[edit] The ultimate in listcruft...

[edit] List of puddles

The following is a comprehensive List of puddles in the World

  1. The one outside my house
  2. The big on to the East of the USA

[edit] From Contract Killing

contract murder or murder-for-hire) is a murder in which the killer (Usually CIA or G1EIPPA)is hired by another person to kill for material reward, usually money or pokemon cards. A person who carries out a contract killing is sometimes known as a contract killer or hit man

The Most famous Hitman is: Dixon - Leader of G1EIPPA

                         AKA, Alias: The Hitman, the worlds most dangerous man
                         Age: Unknown
                         Height: 5,10
                         Weight: Unknown
                         Race: Caucasian

Killed thousands in various hits around the world, leader of G1EIAAPA (G1 Elite International assassination and protection agency) in which the Mark, Diana, The Apprentice and the gurdle are all prominant members. The Hitman is extremely dangerous, expert in sniper rifles, has knives that shoot from his shoes and has fiber wire on him at all times. He is the most nototrious hitman of all time trained by the cia and FSB then turned rogue. The most famous story of him would be that he hid down a ditch for 5 days whilst evading capturing by over 150 viatnamese rebels armed with AK-47's and Pokemon Cards.

[edit] From Xbox

A vandal has replaced the entire article with nonsense, as shown in this diff.

[edit] From Mohawk College

Read it carefully. :D

[edit] From Talk: Fucked Up

This article should not be linked to Futurism. Being a punk and a member of an artistic movement are far removed.

Punk is/ is not an art movement.

^ what the hell do you know, gaylord

you're not an art movement!


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