It's Bad! It's a Joke! It's Other Deleted Nonsense!

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This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.

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Special collections
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

Reference to, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!"

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.


PlayNOW! has classic members discussing topics of games to everyday life. The usual culprits are: DJ Fusion, the main man. Lambchop, Sony's love child, born to spread the word of Sony and bury Xbox anyway he can. Scrote, the outrageously foul mouthed little asian wannabe. Candy Arse, EA have bought many things out over time, but this one does it all for free. Cletus, if you mess with him, he will eat your children. Grey Wizard, had a spat online with a male lover,WTF??!!! MX Legend, supports the Penrith Panthers and declares that he is in fact a graphics whore. And many, many more!!!

From Wikipedia:Articles for creation[edit]

pg-0 This Anonymous user is not permitted to create pages in the Wikipedia.


Newcomb is the catcher in the Lye.

Chris Kirby[edit]

Chris Kirby is a ticket inspector of some notoriety, working on the train operating company Midland Mainline. He especially frequents the route of London St. Pancras to Nottingham, and is an avid fare collector for the company. He remains highly loyal to Midland Mainline.

Routes Operated He can be found mostly on Midland Mainline Routes:

- London St. Pancras to Nottingham

- Nottingham to London St. Pancras via Beeston and Market Harborough

Please note that another Midland Mainline employee (identified by a green MM jacket) is also on the train from Nottingham to Market Harborough on some occasions. However, this is not Chris Kirby.

Other Information If travelling on a train with Chris Kirby on board, it is vital to remember these pointers to avoid being caught out by him. He will walk around the train regularly, saying "Tickets and Railcards". If you do not have these items, you will be fined for the maximum penalty fare + a Chris Kirby surcharge of 9 pence.

Chris Kirby will often appear to be leaving the train when stopped at Leicester (often in the presence of another Midland Mainline "bad boy"). Do not be deceived by this - he may walk alongside the train for some time, but he will board it again.

Wikipedians will do anything[edit]

From the reference desk...

can you balance a egg on your foot?? Maoririder 20:54, 6 December 2005 (UTC) not a trick question.

I just tried it and I could do it easily. —Keenan Pepper 21:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)
While it's very easy the balance the egg on its side, it is more difficult (ie still possible, but it fell off my foot and cracked) to balance it on its end. --Commander Keane 22:04, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

Further down the page, one finds this:

How long would it take to go from Tintagel to Edinburgh on a horse if you could only take roman roads or oldr roads? 20:34, 8 December 2005 (UTC)

Over wikified[edit]

A Page That Is Over-Wikified Has Too Many Links Concerning The Basic Text. This Makes The Article Look unProfessional, And Is Frowned-Upon In The Wikipedia Community.

Hacker standard time[edit]

Hacker standard time (HST) is a relative time zone occurring no less than three hours behind where the hacker actually lives. This means, should a hacker be awake at 3am according to local time, it is only midnight in his time zone. It is important to note that hacker standard time is adjustable according to occupation and time of year. Should the hacker still be in school, the three hour rule generally applies. However, during his summer vacation, the rule is traditionally scalable to at least an 8 hour difference. This enables hackers to miss daylight entirely, keeping to their necessary vampiristic existence.

If the hacker is out of school and in the working world, hacker standard time may be adjusted such that the hacker adjustment takes place only at night. This means should the hacker be awake at 2:59 am local time, it is but 11:59pm his time. However, when he wakes up at 7am for work, it is 7 am in both HST and local time, meaning the hacker simply scales back the amount of sleep he gets, existing on the half hacker standard time regimen.

So, when you see a hacker early in the morning (1pm or earlier in local time), please avoid loud noises. Allow them to adjust to their surroundings for at least an hour before any valuable information exchanges are conducted.

Choosing Sides in the American Revolution[edit]

though many are lost by this point, they colonitst actually escaped from a giant running stomach that was filled with just-eaten spaghetti. They tried to battle its forces of cells and meatballs with giant spoons, but lost when the pear people brought out their seeds. Sad, but true. Their graveyard rests in the jelly world of neopia. For more information visit

From Whose Line is it Anyway?[edit]


PBS had a short lived Spin-off of the show called "Whose Linear Equation is it Anyway? that was intended to help teach middle-schoolers Algebra skills.

From Scale of five[edit]


Amongst scales in general, the Scale of Five (5) is considered to be the simplest one in usage. By utilizing only a single number --the number five (5)-- the process of rating becomes extremely effective through exclusion of any other number. The Scale of five is not to be confused with the more common "scale of one to five" nor the "scale of one to five"'s bigger brother "scale of one to ten".


The scale was invented by Rev. G. Brynjólfsson, Rev. F. T. Ásgeirsson, G. Þorgilsson III et. al. in the fall of 1998 due to the necessity for streamlining the process of rating.


An extended version of the Scale of Five (5) exists that expands the scope of the rating system. While allowing more flexibility in rating, this is generally considered less pure by Scale-of-Five-(5)-purists, seeing as it greatly reduces the generalibiliy of the original scaling system. The three categories of the extended version are: "barely five (5)", "five (5)" and "five (5) and then some", where "barely five (5)" is the lowest rating and "five (5) and then some" is the highest.


Scaling and/or rating, being an itricate part of the modern society, has been used to quantify things, events and happenings for many a millenia. Early examples of ratings come from The Holy Bible where Jesus' actions are rated as "miracles" or variations thereof, as defined by the canonization process whereas mortal mens actions of the same nature are only considered good deeds. The Scale of Five (5) would rate Jesus' actions as Five (5) and the actions of mortal men as Five (5) and the extended Scale of Five would rate Jesus' actions as Five (5) and then some and the actions of mortal men as barely Five (5). On the extended Scale of Five (5) Saints' actions would be rated Five (5).

The Nielsen Rating system is a widely known rating system for televison and a fierce competitor of the Scale fo Five (5) rating system. Giving more details it has been more popular and used.

Inherit complexities of more elaborate scaling systems such as the better known "Scale of one to ten" made famous the film "10" (ten) demand a lengthy decising process with multiple variables to consider before finally giving a decisive rating to the subject in question while the Scale of Five (5) simplifies and shortens the process.

All in all the Scale of Five (5) revolutionizes the rating process, streamlines it and makes it more accessible for the general public.

From Supermarket[edit]


Fitty International[edit]

Philadelphia Major John Street is currently in talks with the FAA to consider renaming Philadelphia International Airport (PHL) to Fitty International. If approved, the change would take effect in 2007.

Image:50Cent.jpg Image:Americanairlines.arp.750pix.jpg

From Forney, Texas[edit]

Forney is a city.


It's in Texas.


Apparently, someone lives here.


Supposedly, there's an education system. It's rated "academically acceptable" by the state of Texas.

External links[edit]

Depending on whom you ask, there may or may not be any links.

Grayson Cupit[edit]

Born in 1684 in the city of Pizzaz in a country that does not exist, Grayson Cupit, author of "Overclocking a Toaster for Dummies", has contributed much to the modern world. If it were not for his research into Quantum Coca-Beans, the newly developed SFET Scan (Smoldering Fetus Emission Tomography Scan) would not be possible.

Remember to think of Cupit next time your bagel sets off the smoke alarm.

From Jack Bauer, under Trivia[edit]

  • Jack Bauer can, in fact, divide by zero.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just creatures that Jack Bauer allows to live.
  • Jack Bauer has two speeds, walk and kill.
  • In the average room, there are 1,242 items that Jack could use to kill you, including the room itself.

From February 30[edit]


Wikipedia:Bad articles[edit]

This page was created in response to the WP:TFD vote on Template:Tl and Template:Tl, which are both part of Wikipedia:Good articles. While not deleted yet, "Bad articles" seems like it at least falls into the Bad Jokes category. Slambo (Speak) 16:27, 8 December 2005 (UTC)

The Julian Calendar[edit]

The Julian Calendar was invented by Professor Marcus Julian of Oxford Brooks University. Professor Julian's objection to the more commonly-used Gregorian Calendar, voted the most popular calendar of all time by the American senate in 1978, was that the month of July, in which he has a birthday, featured only once. His new version of the calendar had the month of July falling not just between June and August, but between December and January, and between March and April also. Due to a typographical error which was not spotted until after the calendar returned from the printer's, Gay somewhat contentiously replaced the month of May. (NB: A lesser-known feature of the Julian calendar is its lack of any leap years. As a result of a minor accident involving a horse, since boyhood Professor Julian has been able to walk only with the aid of two canes, and is entirely incapable of jumping. It is widely speculated that this was the reason he chose to remove all leap years from his new version of the calendar.) He named the calendar after his personal favourite celebrity, well-known homosexual comedian Julian Clary.

From WP:ENC[edit]


From Shiffy: the untold story[edit]


Your Mom your Dad and Shiffy is a hit song that is loosely based on a Massachusetts resident, Shifra Baranofsky. A couple of her peers in school became enamored with her nickname, which was "shiffy", and began to sing different phrases, inserting "Shiffy" whenever they pleased. Some good lyrics were thought up, but none that were truly ground-breaking.


Eventually, two geniuses named Zacharias Renoui and Josephus Sepa stumbled upon the phrase "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" (Copyright 1998. These lyrics immediately spread throughout the metropolitan Boston community. People would walk all over the streets of Boston, with sweet songs of "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" filling the air.

Spread of Popularity[edit]

This was an immediate hit with classmates, and a select few were chosen to create an album, showcasing many "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" tunes. Debuting in 2001, the album, "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy: The Awkward Years", with lead singer Effy Shafner, debuted #5 on the Yeshiva billboard charts. It was nominated for four "Music Moshe" awards, but did not succeed in taking first prize.

A Tragic Ending[edit]

Unfortunately, Mrs. Baranofsky suffered a stroke after learning of a tragedy on October 27th, 2004, and passed away. She is survived by her Girl Scout cookie business, and millions of loyal fans. "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" will never be the same, but the band continues to fill the hearts of everyone in honor of Mrs. Baranofsky.

Breaking News( From the Elton John article)[edit]

In a recent interview, Elton John has expressed his desire to marry his new partner, Mark Johnston, While Elton John's antics have often landed him in the spotlight, his new partner seeks to keep his sexual promiscuity under profile. However, Mark Johnston has announced that he is fully prepared to assume the role of the bride, and has expressed his desire to wear the full bridal gown.

From Flatulence[edit]

L. Ron Hubbard banned flatulence from Scientology claiming it was a way Xenu repelled humans with high Thetan levels and how it denies us of the truth.

From the Trials of Saddam Hussein[edit]

See for yourselves...

From Wikipedia talk:Requests for arbitration[edit]

Motion to dismiss for lack of jurisdiction[edit]

As this matter touches on Nuclear energy, the Arbcomm must realize that the Price-Anderson Act removes all jurisdiction on such matters to the Federal courts, accordingly, the Arbcomm has no authority to regulate, interfere, or hear disputes arising from such matters. Because the action took place in North Carolina, which is a signatory to the US Constitution by the hand of one William Blount in 1787 (reaffirmed by the Peace Treaty of 1861), it is subject to the laws of the United States of America, including the provisions of the Price-Anderson Act as contained in US 42.23.A § 2210. Indemnification and limitation of liability (n)(2) as reads:


This venue is therefore deprived of its usual jurisdiction and required to remove the complaint forthwith. Benjamin Gatti 03:49, 9 December 2005 (UTC)

The classic =[edit]

One of THE most common changes to the article Earth is to replace the text with "Harmless" or Mostly Harmless," a reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series.



Aside from the apparentlackoftheuseofaspacebar, this does get a couple of Googles. No allmusic at all. Your comments, ladies and gentlemen? - Lucky 6.9 05:22, 9 December 2005 (UTC)

  • Thisgroupdoesnotmeettherequirementsof WP:MUSIC eventhoughtheyapparentlydodoabitoftouring. Mo0[talk] 05:48, 9 December 2005 (UTC)
The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.

Paulo Fontaine[edit]

Paulo Fontaine is a popularly missappropriated pseudonym for the former labour MP for Walsall South, Jonty(the name having wrongly become more of a generic term for incompetant politicians). Jonty suffered the ignominy of being the first MP to be expelled from the chamber in 10 years after launching a stream of non-sensicle and irrelavent rhetoric at the first downsyndrome priminister Ian Smith( this included various references to the PMs admitidley comical speaking voice and ended with him labeling the PM a 'Chinaman'). He has also invited the scorn of the animal rights group PETA on numerous occasions for his appropriation of a 'coonskin cap as a vote winner, although when celebrity PETA supporter Morrissey was asked of his views on the subject he conceded that the cap was a 'legitimate political device'. In return Jonty admitted his admiration for Morrissey's former band the Smiths, and to the astonishment of the Fleet street press revealed that his ringtone was the Morrissey favourite 'Last of the Famous International Playboys'.

Butt Itches[edit]

The Story Of Butt Itches: It was Butt Itches first day at pokemon daycare the daycare lady asked all of the pokemon to introduce themselves Butt Itches was first.He said his name was Butt Itches then all the pokemon said "then scratch it!"

Professor Plum[edit]

This is the character most widely suspected as the murderer in the popular board game cluedo, although in actual fact the chance of any one character being the murderer is equal if determined by an unbiast dealer. It has also been noted in Cluedo circles that should there be a nuclear war Plum would be the character most ready to weather the ensuing apocalypse.

From Idiot[edit]

Idiots include: People you do not like, dispise, hate, consider to be imbusils, and other things.

  • e.g. people who spell imbeciles incorrectly
  • Not to mention "despise"

From Mental Retardation[edit]

Mental Retardation exists in an array a states,ranging from type 1 herpes to AIDS.

Generic Spaco behaivior is the main sign of Retardedness

What happened to Carson. Sadly :-( Carson's so stupid, he attempted to solve a 12 variable system of equations by substitution rather than by simply using matrices. oooooh dissss...

Since you're looking at Wikipedia... You ARE a retard, k'thanks.

Recently, there has been an a large public outcry from citizens finally admitting to suffering from mental retardation. Some famous instances of this include the admittance of every member of the popular rock act The Nellis Complex. Clearly mental redartion does not prevent musical success.

From New York City[edit]


Many private fairies are run by NY Waterway, which provides several lines across the Hudson River, New York Water Taxi, with lines connecting Brooklyn and Manhattan, and other operators.

From George W. Bush[edit]

The following infobox is a compilation of reverted edits.

George Walker Bush is an absolute fudge packer
Image:Hammer and sickle.pngthis image inserted by sockpuppet of Wikipedia is Communism!
Term of office {{{date1}}} – {{{date2}}}
Preceded by Bill Jefferson Clinton
Dead or alive Alive
Date of Death December 9th, 2005
Place of Death Pretzel Wagon
Religion Scientologist
Vice President Richard B. Cheney

Born as a baby to a family of wildebeasts, George started to make his life in the jungle at a early age. Through hard times in the jungle, he survived by moving in with a family of sloths where he became good at hanging on trees for long periods of time. He also learned how to become a terrible president. Bush moved to Zaire and fell in love with a handsome rhino named laura. He than moved to the united states and became president.

From 1985 to 1930 bc, Bush served as Cheif exsecutive of the State of Chicago. A lifelong member of the Republican Party, Bush was a busyman before entering Iraq. He helped found the failed Butt-Buster and later became a managing partner in the Texas Rhodehouses Club team. Bush was elected the 46th Governor of France in 1994 and was re-elected in 1998. He won the Republican nomination in the 2000 presidential hoohah and was elected Principle of the Carlyle High School.

This Article Has Been Heavily Vandalized[edit]

Image:Vandalism of Restroom.jpg This article has been heavily vandalized.

Anyone caught vandalizing this article may be blocked for up to 48 HOURS with no further warning.

from Leet[edit]

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ISO/DIS 639-3: Template:IfTemplate:If defined call1{{language/Template:If}}

From Silly hat club[edit]

The Silly hat club, also known as the 'Silly Hat Cul--no, wait, it's a Club' is an orginization currently run out of upstate New York, in addition to having a small off-shoot chapter in New Paltz, New York. It is a Satirical Religion similar to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, the Invisible Pink Unicorn and Last Thursdayism, although the High Priestess replied to the title of 'Parody' with outrage, saying: 'I was going to put that in later.'

Their motto is 'Semper excors petatus sumus,' which is roughly translatable to, 'Always we are the foolish wide-brimmed felt hat.' It has been said by a Mostly Worthwile Underling that grammatic incorrectness only adds to the overall Sillyness of the phrase, as well as the fact that it is in Latin; as everyone knows, this is a Dead language.

While the exact date of the foundation is not known except to the highest members of the Silly Hierarchy, one of the High Priestesses has been quoted as saying, 'There has always been an underground Cult of the Silly Hat,' recalling the Spanish Inquisition Hats and Tudor-style headdresses. It is widely accepted that the Silly Hats have been going on secretly for what may well be millenia.

Widely accepted as the hardest to advance on (and yet most Volatile) levels of religious Iniation world-wide, the Silly Levels of Iniation are, to date, as follows:

  • Worthless Underling
  • Partially Worthwile Underling
  • Mostly Worthwile Underling
  • (99% Worthwile Underling or a "Niner")
  • Lackey
  • Minion
  • Humble Servant
  • Ultra-lowly Devotee
  • Meta-lowly Devotee
  • Quasi-lowly Devotee
  • Vassal
  • Protege
  • Under-Priest/ess
  • Plain ol' Priest/ess
  • High Priest/ess

Currently, most Silly Hat Meetings are held at the closet Denny's, which has been named as the Temple of the Silly Hat. The High Priestess has said that it is a place where Silly Sustinence is served. The Denny's officials were unavailable for comment on this surprise Endorsement.

An official Silly Website is forthcoming.

From User:Klum (initial edit)[edit]

You know you shouldn't have this user name useless your actually Heidi Klum right. And if you are I didn't mean to offend you. Good luck with seal!

From 2005 Hemel Hempstead fuel depot explosions[edit]

Today at 89:00 PM, Our Sun God Tirakh granted us one more ear of corn for our daily meals. He wants to please us while keeping order over all the lands of, uhm, your mom! Yeah! Your momma's so fat, a nurse wants her for dinner?

Anyway, we <3 Tirakh

From Koosh ball[edit]

The Koosh ball had waning popularity in the mid-nineties for two unrelated reasons.

First, the Koosh ball began to have a high incidence rate in cases of asphyxiation. At first, these cases were limited to small children, who, in the course of playing with the toy with another child, suffocated to death, but later, when parents and later the mafia realized the suffocating ability of the Koosh, they began using it for crime-related activities. Used as a gag, the Koosh has the interesting property that the more noise one makes, the further down the esophagus it travels, leading to increased blockage of the airway. As these incidents both accidental and otherwise were reported, the company (Koosh International) did an actuarial investigation leading to the conclusion that the toy needed to be discontinued. They also launched an international operation to collect the Kooshes back. The two-phase operation consisted of a first phase focusing on going to garage sales, buying back the Koosh, and incinerating them, while the second was disguised as a worldwide used-toy collecting service. Through the outgrowth of this second Koosh-collecting phase, Koosh International now operates as a non-profit organization dedicated to redistributing clothes (and land in some countries were feudalism is still present).

The second reason the Koosh declined in popularity was because of the sudden and immediate impact one man named Kush had on American popular culture. After having his legs amputated in the first Gulf War, Kush returned home to America looking to continue his once promising career as a backup dancer in the on-ice version of The Little Mermaid. After several unsuccessful attempts at trying out using a bobsled-type device, he gave up and instead focused on a wheelchair-breakdancing career. The combination of his keen political awareness and sweet dance moves lead many to regard him as "dancing FDR." Koosh International, wishing to sever the image of its product from an image of physical inability, sought to discontinue the product.

From the revision history of John Seigenthaler Sr.[edit]

  1. (cur) (last) 23:57, 11 December 2005 Capitallinin m (Reverted edits by Albanyepsilo to last version by Hemoglobincr)
  2. (cur) (last) 23:56, 11 December 2005 SeoulAlbania m (Reverted edits by Cleverlyopac to last version by Denudeportal)
  3. (cur) (last) 23:56, 11 December 2005 Conversation m (Reverted edits by Bucklingcell to last version by Interrelatin)
  4. (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 Snakesfetter m (Reverted edits by Outfitabbrev to last version by Icelandicinv)
  5. (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 SeoulAlbania m (Reverted edits by Cozyderision to last version by Relaxernomin)
  6. (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 Capitallinin m (Reverted edits by Dukeethical to last version by Pleasedassor)
  7. (cur) (last) 23:49, 11 December 2005 Canderson7 m (Reverted edits by (talk) to last version by Canderson7)

From Chronikkah[edit]

Chronikkah is celebrated for eight days and nights, starting on the 25th of Kislev on the Hebrew calendar (which is November-December on the Gregorian calendar). In Hebrew, the word "Chronikkah" means "Dank."

The holiday originated when Judah the Maccabee and his followers reclaimed the temple in the village of Modi'in from Syrian King Antiochus IV. The temple was cleansed and prepared for rededication. When the sacred temples Chronrah (Pipe) was relit, there was only enough sacred Chronic to smoke for one day. Yet, according to tradition, the Chronic miraculously lasted eight days until danker Chronic could be found.

In remembrance, a bowl from the Chronrah is smoked each of the eight days of Chronikkah. For every day of Chronikkah you pack another bowl untill the 8th day when you smoke all 8 bowls from the Chronrah.

A newer tradition in the United States is the baking of Chronic cookies in the shape of Chronikkah symbols while relating the stories. Children delight in helping and learn as they create, too.

A Chronrah Http://


Usually people that do not participate in the worldly event known as Chronikkah start transforming into con-women ( such as the one above.) These people are known to go into fits of worldly anger known well by only those that experience the anger that is "ragerad" If you come close to one of these mystical beasts, be prepared to pull out your Chronrah, and smite the evil foe. The conwoman also feeds off of dress's and shopping, so much so that his only viable option for cloth wear is that of a womans dress, one that shows way too much of any man, especially the one in the aformentioned picture

From the Block log[edit]

  • 12:00, 12 December 2005 Grutness blocked "User:" with an expiry time of 15 minutes (vandalism (block going back on))
  • 12:00, 12 December 2005 Grutness unblocked User:Grutness (d'oh. wrong. try again)
  • 11:58, 12 December 2005 Grutness blocked "User:Grutness" with an expiry time of 15 minutes (vandalism (block going back on))

From the Locust&action=history history of the The Locust.[edit]

Apparently The Locust's are a band...

  • (cur) (last) 18:14, 5 December 2005 (okay, last one. somebody really hates this band!)
  • (cur) (last) 18:09, 5 December 2005 (woops, missed the reference to 'shitty noise' on the first line. not sure what to replace it with, so i just took it out. thoughts?)
  • (cur) (last) 18:07, 5 December 2005 (Some NPOV stuff, lots of references to "worthless shit", basically just some vandalism reversal)

from Fork (disambiguation)[edit]

  • Bicycle fork, the part of a bicycle to which the front wheel is generally attached. Rarely, a fork used for eating bicycles.

From Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo[edit]

The "Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo" was created by History teachers in 1983 to give them something else foolish to teach students. The Mexican Cession was actually obtained by the United States as a prize for winning an international Scrabble tournament. The final word they used was Guacamole, also gleaning them the coveted fifty extra points for using all their letters. The country we played in the finals was South Africa, who would've won had Team America not put laxatives in their Jolt cola.


Headline text

shostavich was born in some time between 604 and 17857632146547354531487365471653746257465237465213 he started to plai da pianeo at agi 7 he wase vry stuped and retarded